A Dishonored/MLP crossover. Ships: Derpy/Luna, Twilight/Celestia, Muffin/Harem [The last ship is a joke.... Probably. I doubt Muffins become sentient anytime soon]
Derpy is sick of pretending to be somepony she isn't. All she wants is to be left alone, to have a peaceful life with somepony she cares about. When she catches the interest of the Outsider, a mysterious deity most often described as "part angel, part devil, and entirely ambiguous," she replaces one mask with another, and learns exactly how far a pony is willing to go to do the right thing- and how powerful the lure of power can be. The question isn't whether she'll survive or not- the question is whether she'll follow the path of mercy, or revel in the carnage her newfound powers will allow her to sew.
This is a tale of plague, betrayal, vengeance, justice, and, perhaps most importantly, muffins.
Cancelled due to lack of interest- on my part as well as you guys'.
Yes, that's right. Dishonored and My Little Pony. LET US BEGIN.
Prologue: Day Zero
Derpy Hooves heaved a heavy sigh. She walked down the path that lead into the Everfree Forest, feeling melancholic but strangely pleased. She had, upon placing a reasonable distance between herself and the outskirts of Ponyville, allowed herself to abandon her ruse. Nopony was around to see that she was, in all actuality, a pony whose intelligence rivaled that of Ponyville's token bookworm, Twilight Sparkle. In fact, nopony but her beloved Princess Luna knew of her intellect (though she suspected that Zecora was on to her), and Derpy had every intention of keeping things that way.
Derpy had raised herself after her parents died, back when she was just a filly. She had, after realizing that everypony had a much easier time leaving a 'slow' pony alone than a veritable prodigy like herself. Of course, there were ups and downs to her little charade- she was generally known to be a very nice pony, and most everypony left her be most of the time; however, she was infamous for her tendency of wreaking havoc wherever she went, and she disliked the pity that other ponies felt for her.
The reason Derpy was heading into the dreaded, ever-ominous Everfree Forest was a simple one: she was going to reveal herself to Zecora, explain why she needed to keep her secret, and ask Zecora to avoid telling anypony. If asked, she would have said that it had absolutely nothing to do with the book Derpy had 'borrowed' from Twilight's library.
Derpy decided that it was better that Twilight was as imperceptive as she was, because Derpy wasn't sure she could both maintain her ruse and get the book she'd searched so diligently for. The book itself didn't appear to be anything special- just an old leather book with yellowed pages and an odd symbol etched into the front cover. Derpy had felt some sort of connection with the symbol, as if it were calling out to her. She didn't know why, nor did she know what, precisely, it was that made the book so special; she merely accepted that it was special, filched it from the library, and planned to read it whenever she had the chance.
Derpy would have flown to the cabin belonging to Zecora, but since she happened to be a courier, she had been flying all day, and her wings were quite tired. She reflected that she probably needed to exercise a little more, but she needed to do so in a manner that would fit the persona she had spent all of these years creating.
As the cabin that was her destination drew nearer, Derpy tried to remember what her real voice sounded like.
'No matter how often I speak with that voice, it still feels... unnatural,' Derpy thought pensively. A quick glance over her shoulder reassured her that her bag was still on her back, the book still nestled securely between a small tin of muffins and the set of paints she used to create her fake cutie mark. In truth, she had yet to acquire her actual cutie mark, most likely because she was nearly always preoccupied with her work and/or her false self.
'Why did Luna think it was so funny that the only real trait I let through my ruse is my love of muffins?' Derpy wondered. 'Is it some sort of innuendo to love muffins...? I suppose I shall have to ask.'
“Ah, hello, Derpy my dear,” said Zecora, who had stepped out of her cabin to greet Derpy, “what is it that brings you here?”
For some reason, Derpy was always pleasantly amused by Zecora's verbal tic of speaking in rhyme. “My reasons for coming to see you are twofold,” Derpy announced confidently, “First, I have a confession to make; second, I have something I want your advice on.”
“Ah, Derpy, I already know your secret. 'Twas your keen eye let me in on it.” “I had suspected you might have known...”
“It is my nature to take a second look, and not judge by the cover of the book.”
Derpy was amused by the appropriateness of the metaphor. “Funny you should mention a book,” Derpy said, “that's what I want your advice on.”
“And a strange one it must be, for you to be asking me.” Derpy pulled the book out of her saddlebag and placed it on the grass before Zecora. The zebra's eyes widened as she saw the cover. “The mark of the Outsider adorns this book,” she said, “it might be dangerous to even take a look.”
“Who is this 'Outsider'?” “The Outsider is a being most odd. I suppose he is best called a god.”
“What is he, specifically?” “The Outsider is a strange creature. Opposable thumbs are a dominant feature.”
Derpy thought for a moment, then guessed,“Is he a monkey?” “His appearance is that of a species you have never seen. They are called 'human beings'.”
'Beings and seen? Bit of a stretch, Zecora...' Derpy focused on the conversation, shaking the criticism out of her mind for the time being. “What does he do?”
“He bestows powers to those of his choosing. He favors those that he finds amusing.” “... Meaning?”
“Legend has it he pulls interesting ponies into the Void. He doesn't care if they are destroyed.” “So he pulls ponies into this 'Void' and gives them some sort of power?”
“Yes, Derpy, but you'd better take care; the Outsider is said to visit visit in a nightmare.” “Why is this book dangerous?”
“Even the tiniest peek could overwhelm a mind that is weak.” “This 'Outsider' sounds evil...”
“Some say he is part devil, part angel, and entirely ambiguous. When he is around, strange happenings will likely be continuous.”
“Anything else, Zecora?” “His machinations go beyond mortal reason, but he is honest; you needn't worry about treason.”
Derpy could only think of one more question to pose to Zecora, but, to be fair, it was a pretty good one. “Do you have any advice to offer that isn't cryptic and obscure?”
“I am afraid not- perhaps you should consult your 'friend' in Canterlot.”
Derpy nodded. “Thank you, Zecora. I'm sure it's pretty tiring, rhyming every time you speak, so I'm especially grateful.”
Zecora frowned. “You say I speak in rhyme? I speak this way all the time. Do not be silly, it doesn't become you to act like a filly.”
Derpy placed the book back into her bag, cinched it tightly shut, and turned to leave. She looked over her shoulder. “Goodbye, Zecora, and, again, thank you.”
“Farewell, Derpy Hooves, I hope to see you soon- be sure to give my regards to the Mare on the Moon.”
'She's far more astute than I had originally thought,' Derpy mused as she walked back towards Ponyville- and her home. She yawned. The book was far heavier than the mail she was used to carrying, and, compounded with the long walk to Zecora's hut, Derpy was exhausted by the time she reached her home, a cozy house located on the outskirts of Ponyville.
By the time she'd eaten dinner, the sun was just barely peeking over the horizon. She smiled. Once the sun had set and the moon had risen, her precious Luna would visit her dreams. Derpy loved Luna more than anything and anypony. If she had to choose between Luna and muffins, Derpy would pick Luna without hesitation. The main thing that got Derpy through the day was the knowledge that Luna would be waiting for her in her dreams.
Luna seemed to understand Derpy, and Derpy was sure she understood Luna. Neither of them could remember their parents (in fact, Luna wasn't certain if she even had parents). Luna had been exiled to the moon for a thousand years, and Derpy had, in essence, exiled her true self from everypony she knew. Both of them were avoided by the majority of ponies, Luna because she was remembered as the dreaded Nightmare Moon; Derpy because she had the tendency to destroy (or otherwise ruin) everything she came into contact with.
Derpy placed the book bearing the mark of The Outsider on her bedside table, then collapsed into her bed. She fell asleep the instant her head touched her pillow.
* * *
Derpy woke up, then got out of her bed. 'Something's not right here,' she thought. She glanced towards her window and noticed a light blue glow coming from it. “Luna,” Derpy called hopefully, “Are you here?”
She called out several more times, but there was no reply. Derpy noticed that the mark of The Outsider on the cover of the book was glowing the same light blue as the window. Derpy decided that the light blue glow was eerie, and, without realizing it, followed the compulsion she had to go outside.
As soon as she stepped out, she became certain something was wrong. Her house was situated on a floating chunk of land, and there were numerous other floating chunks of land at various elevations and distances from her, the nearest being less than ten meters away and floating a few meters below her home.
Before she could decide what exactly she should do, a tall, bipedal figure appeared before her. He had pale skin and black hair, and he wore distinctly dingy-looking brown clothing. But the things that stuck out most about him were the fact that he was, despite his lack of wings, floating about a meter off of the ground, and his eyes. His eyes were black, almost as if they weren't there- Derpy would have thought that they weren't there, under normal circumstances. What made it obvious that the eyes were present was the way that they stayed unnaturally dark, as if to spite the eerie glow that permeated and illuminated everything.
Derpy decided that this must have been the 'Void' Zecora had told her about, and the strange-looking man floating before her must have been The Outsider himself.
“Hello, Derpy. As I'm sure you've guessed, I am the Outsider, and I've been watching you for quite some time now. You're a very interesting pony, Derpy, and I'd like to see how you behave under a different set of circumstances than your current ones.” Derpy wasn't sure how to respond, or even if she should. The Outsider continued speaking before she could.
“You see, Derpy, I think I have something you want. Something you would do anything to gain.”
Derpy couldn't really think of anything that fit that description, but she let the Outsider continue unabated.
“You do not know that you want it yet, so allow me to elaborate. Your precious Princess Luna is eternal, undying, forever young. In a word, immortal. And your feelings for each other are very powerful indeed. Did you ever consider that Luna will continue to stay as she is, even as you grow old and die. So, in exchange for assuming the pivotal role in another world, I will make you immortal, that you might enjoy eternity with your beloved princess.”
Derpy hadn't even considered the fact that Luna never aged. The realization shocked her. For the first time since the Outsider appeared before her, she spoke. “You have my attention.”
“Good! When you wake up tomorrow morning, you will no longer be in Equestria. You will be in a human body, a body blamed for the death of an Empress it strove to protect. You will see faces you know, as well as faces you've never seen before. You will know things you could only know if you had lived in that world your entire life. Your body will not feel strange to you. When you are finished, you will be returned to Equestria, where you may live with Luna forever.”
“What exactly am I supposed to do?” Derpy asked. She didn't like the sound of being blamed for the death of an empress.
“What you do is your decision, Derpy… Know that, no matter what you do, you will change the fate of an Empire. I'll be watching. I hope your visit to Dunwall is an interesting one.”
Derpy opened her mouth to ask why he had chosen her, but he spoke before her. “Oh, and one more thing,” he said, almost mischievously, “you'll be waking up in a few moments.”
Derpy's eyes darted open. She found herself in a dank, musty cell constructed from stone bricks. Just as the Outsider had told her, her body was different now. She could tell, even before getting up, that this body walked on two legs, and manipulated objects in the world around it with the limbs that she somehow knew were called 'arms,' which terminated in 'hands' and 'fingers'.
What shocked Derpy, though, was that remembered things that she was certain she hadn't experienced. She remembered delivering a letter to Empress Celestia at Dunwall Tower, only to have a group of assassins appear from nowhere, kill the Empress, and kidnap the princess, Luna. As if that wasn't bad enough, the Royal Spymaster had then accused Derpy of both crimes. The next six months, she remembered, had been spent in Coldridge Prison, which happened to be where she still was, being tortured far more than any normal man could have endured.
And now, she was sitting in a cell, the day before her execution, experiencing very strong emotions. Primarily a thirst for revenge and a desperate hope that Luna was okay. As she sat on the cold stone floor, something occurred to her. 'I failed as Lord Protector,' she thought sadly, 'Celestia is dead, Luna abducted, and I myself have taken the fall for it.'
Derpy wondered why Luna hadn't fled. Luna was slightly taller than Derpy, and they seemed to be approximately the same age, but Derpy somehow knew that she was far superior in terms of fighting ability- in fact, when she thought about it, she had killed three of the assassins, causing them to turn into ashes.
The scraping of a metal tray on the stone floor roused Derpy from her thoughts. She looked up to see a man in a blue uniform, with a helmet on his head and a sword on his hip, standing just outside of her cell. The tray she'd heard was on the floor by the bars, atop it lay half of a loaf of something Derpy didn't remember seeing throughout her time at Coldridge- freshly baked bread, hot, appetizing, and, most importantly, free of mold.
“You should eat, Derpy. This meal comes from a friend,” the man said before turning and walking away.
As soon as the sounds of his footsteps became inaudible, Derpy rushed to the tray, devoured the bread in a matter of seconds, and nearly choked to death on the key concealed inside of the bread. She managed to keep the slip of paper out of her mouth, though. In fact, she even went so far as to read it:
Derpy,
Who we are is irrelevant right now. Just know that we have faith in you.
The key to your cell is hidden in the loaf of bread- make sure you don't accidentally choke on it.
Once you're out, head for the prison's Interrogation Room. Take the explosive from the safe
there and plant it on the outer door. When the bomb goes off, run. Make for the river and lose
yourself in the sewers (try to avoid actually getting lost, though). You'll find some useful gear
stashed there- you'll know it when you see it.
One of the prison guards will leave a weapon just outside of your cell.
And good luck. We need you alive (and, preferably, not maimed and/or infected with the
plague) for what's to come.
XOXO,
[Several names were written here and subsequently crossed out, including 'Yo Momma' and
'Rarity' (with a heart serving as the dot over the 'I')]
A friend.
Derpy shook the saliva off of the key, then reached out through the bars of her cell door, fit the key into the lock, and, after a half-second of mentally preparing herself to escape from prison, she unlocked the door. It slid easily to the left, and the sound of it opening was drowned out by the conversation of some nearby guards.
Derpy spotted the weapon mentioned in the note, a sword, on the wooden table directly across the corridor from her cell. On instinct alone, she dropped into a half-crouch, walked silently over to the table, and took both the sword and the small pile of coins that accompanied it. Another unconscious action resulted in her holding the sword in her right hand, with the blade pointing away from her, and her thumb resting on the slightly protruding bit of metal on the bottom/left of the handle. She remembered that this was called the 'reverse grip'.
With nowhere else to go, and no real idea of where the interrogation room was, she turned left. She chose the left primarily for two reasons: the first is the fact that the path to the right was blocked by big metal bars, and the second is that she heard the voices of the guards coming from her left.
Derpy peeked through the doorway, watched three guards discussing her upcoming execution (which she fully intended to be absent for). Then, before Derpy even knew what she was doing, she found herself sneaking across the room, moving between shadows and objects, managing to be completely unseen. She didn't think about it, or plan it, it just happened.
Never one to look a gift pony in the mouth, Derpy let her mind wander as she crept silently through the strange corridors of the prison. She thought about the book she'd snatched from Twilight's library. 'Does Twilight even realize that she had it?' Then, another strange thought struck her. 'I never read the book- I didn't even open it! What if it had important information?!'
Along the way to the interrogation room, Derpy had managed to avoid every guard she saw- she had even pick-pocketed a key off of one of them, while he leaned on a balcony and whistled a catchy song that was still stuck in her head.
In sharp contrast to the astounding speed and grace with which Derpy evaded the guards, she spent no less than five minutes in the interrogation room, searching frantically for the bomb, before she actually tried opening the safe that contained the intricate explosive device. 'I can't be good at everything,' Derpy thought to herself in a vain attempt to fool herself into believing her own lie.
It wasn't two minutes before Derpy was planting the bomb on the outer door of the prison. She still hadn't been seen, due to a cleverly-thrown glass bottle and a display of acrobatics she wasn't sure she could have pulled off as a pegasus. The detonation of the bomb had been simultaneously muted and drowned out by her lowering of the large inner door, which she timed so the door would be almost closed, but still lowering, thus using the door to muffle the sound and the loud mechanical noises to drown any remaining explosion-sounds out.
What Derpy had failed to consider, however, is that there would undoubtedly be guards posted outside of the prison as well. She was quite surprised when she was confronted by five armed City Watchmen after vaulting through the hole torn in the great steel door.
“HEY!”
“YOU THERE, STOP!”
She was so surprised that she, upon realizing that she was standing on a bridge, panicked and dove into the water below. It was sheer luck that the sewer mouth was some five meters from where she dragged herself ashore.
“That went well,” Derpy said aloud, primarily to acknowledge that she'd survived, “... at least, for the most part.”
* * *
Back in Equestria, Princess Luna was barreling towards Derpy's cottage at speeds that, were she not both a princess and the long-feared Nightmare Moon, would have resulted in Police Pegasi giving her a speeding ticket costing several hundred bits- not only was she speeding, she was speeding over a residential district at four in the morning.
Luna had only been to Derpy's home in her dreams, but she'd memorized it's location in case of emergency (or, more realistically, in case Derpy wanted to do something romantic, as Luna secretly hoped). This was, most certainly, something that could or could not have been classified as 'probably an emergency'.
Luna collided with Derpy's lawn in a manner that was not just very, but extremely illegal, climbed out of the crater, took a moment to be self-conscious about her weight, then, after making sure her hair wasn't in complete disarray, knocked on the door.
The door swung open before a very innocent-looking princess Luna, who would later deny having done something creepy like, say, memorizing every detail of the locking mechanism in Derpy's door and making a key that would work with said mechanism, all without telling anypony.
Because that would be creepy. Luna closed the door behind her with magic as she entered the humble home of Derpy Hooves. “Derpy! We request an audience-” Luna shook her head, dropped the royal 'we', and reiterated, “Derpy! Where are you? I waited all night, but you didn't sleep!”
Curiosity seized Luna, and she entered Derpy's room, where she saw almost nothing out of the ordinary.
'Almost' being the keyword. There was a book on the bedside table.
The fact that the thing that was out of the ordinary was a book was odd, because Derpy secretly loved books, and always tried to keep one nearby. The quality that made the book out of the ordinary was one that could make even the most mundane of things seem very odd; the book, for some reason or another, bore the Outsider's Mark.
Luna recognized the mark immediately. Her reaction, interestingly enough, was actually a series of three reactions. Her first reaction was to rub her eyes in disbelief. The second was, after seeing that the book was marked, to gasp, fall on her hindquarters, and blink a few times. Her third reaction is the one that the Outsider had wanted her to have; Luna sat down on Derpy's bed, snatched the book, and opened it.
The pages were hollowed out, with the exception of the first one, and a whalebone rune- bearing the Mark of the Outsider- was concealed within. Luna shuddered as she realized that the first page was a note- a note addressed to her, from the Outsider himself.
Luna,
I don't think it's very sisterly of you to keep your relationship a secret. Does Celestia not
deserve to know? Unless I missed something, she seems to be very openly 'friendly' with Ms.
Twilight Sparkle.
She would understand, would she not?
She would help you, would she not?
To help you, I'll pose you with a choice: You can ask Celestia for help at the cost of the secrecy
of your relationship, or you can do nothing and let me have my fun with Ms. Derpy Hooves.
I suppose the question could be worded another way: who do you trust more?
Your beloved sister, who embodies all that is good?
Or perhaps myself; The Outsider, known quite famously as “Part angel, part devil, and entirely
ambiguous.”
-The Outsider
P.S.- Don't you think it's odd that this book was in Twilight Sparkle's library?
Luna dropped the book, biting back a torrent of words so profane that Celestia had long ago removed from use through royal decrees and even a few laws. “What are you playing at?” she asked nopony in particular. “You claim to be giving me two choices; then you go and bait me with a third...”
She fell backwards onto the bed with a sigh of exasperation, then saw the writing on the ceiling.
Luna,
You know me better than to think I would try to limit your options, don't you?
For the sake of providing you with more choices, I'll tell you a little secret:
Pinkamena Pie knows far more than she lets on.
-The Outsider (again)
“Derpy...” Luna sighed, “where has the Outsider taken you?”
* * *
Derpy shuddered. She wasn't sure what kind of place Dunwall was, but the sewers were, she decided, a hellish place where swarms of rats -vicious, hungry, carnivorous rats- consumed the bodies of any creature with exposed flesh. Whether the creature was dead or alive was of no consequence; the rats consumed any and all. Derpy had witnessed the grisly deaths two City Watchmen at the paws of the rats, and she'd even been forced to use fresh corpses to draw the dreadful creatures away from herself while she cranked open a door.
Now, having collected a small crossbow and an exquisite folding blade, Derpy knew that she couldn't bear to use them unless it was necessary- even the sleep darts for the crossbow could potentially kill a man, leaving him helpless before the rats.
The note that Derpy had found attached to the sword had born a rather interesting message, one that stuck in her head.
I can tell you, with neither doubt nor exaggeration, that this is the finest sword I have ever
created. If, in your travels, you should encounter God...
God will be cut.
-Rarity Joplin
But there was no time to spend pondering the message. According to another note, one Applejack Beechworth was waiting for her. Derpy supposed that Applejack was one of the ponies that the Outsider had meant when he said she'd see familiar faces.
Derpy peeked over the edge of the hole she'd arrived at, catching a few snippets of conversation between a pair of City Watchmen.
“Shall we gather for whiskey and cigars tonight?”
“Yes, I believe so.”
They stood on a narrow walkway suspended over waters that looked to be around a meter deep. Derpy carefully descended while they were facing away from her, her crossbow loaded with a sleep dart- just in case. She snatched up an empty whiskey bottle before taking the plunge, then hurled it into a wall that was several meters from the guards, slipping silently into the water while they were distracted.
Derpy swam past several more City Watchmen, holding her breath for nearly a minute before she slipped out of the water and climbed up and out of the sewers. The squeaking of a swarm of rats sent her sprinting out of the mouth of the tunnel that was the sewer's exit.
A woman, standing only slightly taller than Derpy herself, greeted her with a bow. “Howdy!” called the woman. “I'm Applejack, the boatman... boatwoman...? Anyways, I cain't hardly believe you come outta that hole, friend, but, sure as sugar, you did!”
Derpy nodded. This was definitely Applejack. She had the same blonde ponytail, used the same vernacular, and even spoke with same voice. “That I did.”
“I reckon I'll be takin' ya back to the Hound Pits Pub, now, sugar-cube. Ya look mighty tired. I 'spose prison does that to a gal- 'specially an innocent one.”
Derpy realized that she didn't know what she looked like. Not only did she not know, she had no clue. If Applejack was any indicator, she had the same hair and the same voice...
It struck Derpy that she was probably using her real voice. It wasn't a bad feeling, either...
* * *
Princess Celestia watched her younger sister panic for a few minutes. “Twilight, do you recall the trick Discord played on you, when he concealed the Elements of Harmony in the reference book you learned about them from?”
Twilight Sparkle looked up at the princess, who was far larger than her, and nodded. “I do.” “And can you explain to me how and why the trick worked?”
Twilight thought for a moment, then nodded once again, rather cheerfully. “Normally, when somepony is trying to trick somepony else, the last thing they want is for the pony being tricked to find out. Discord's trick relied on us thinking that it was a trick and thinking that we knew how to beat it, when, in reality, the trick lay in what the trick itself was.”
Celestia smiled at her favorite pupil. “Very good, Twilight. Can you tell me what that is called, or where it originated?”
Twilight shook her head, looking dejected. “No, princess.” “Good. If you could, I'd never trust you again.”
“Huh?” “It is called a Kansas City Shuffle. The point being that Kansas City is the largest city in the state of Missouri, and the portion of Kansas City that lies in the state of Kansas is relatively small. So, when somepony is told that something is in Kansas City, that pony often looks on the wrong side of the river that divide Kansas and Missouri.”
Twilight frowned. “I haven't ever heard of any of those places...” Celestia took a deep breath. “There are a great many worlds in addition to our own, Twilight. Many of these worlds have beings like Luna and myself- immortals, who are oft revered as gods. Some of them, like Luna and I, actively rule over their worlds, whereas others range in influence from simply watching to trying to teach their world's inhabitants to behave as they want them to through subtlety or guile.
“One of these 'gods' is the Outsider. He is bored rather easily, and is known to grant boons of power to people who interest him; other than that, his influence on his world is next to none.” Celestia's eyes drifted to Twilight's face, admiring the eagerness to learn and the rapt awe with which the small, purple unicorn listened to her.
“Sometimes, the Outsider gains an interest in beings from other worlds- including ours. He asks permission before 'borrowing' a pony- in his own way, at least- and I almost always give it to him... but the last pony he borrowed seems to have Luna in a panic. Luna and the Outsider have never quite seen eye-to-eye, but he always returns anypony he takes, and they usually end up better for it. All Luna sees is a strange god taking her subjects from their families and friends, submitting them to who-knows-what, and then dropping them back into their lives as if nothing happened.”
Twilight nodded. “And you think that this Outsider is trying to pull off a Kansas City Shuffle?”
“From what I've gleaned, he wants Luna to think that she needs to rescue the pony he took, and Luna thinks that I don't know about it, so she, in order to keep her relationship with this pony a secret, isn't going to tell me. He's sending her on a wild goose chase during which she'll be forced to learn how to socialize with other ponies, when there's nothing she can do about it, there's probably nothing particularly bad he's doing to the pony he took, and I already know.”
“Who is this pony he took? Is it somepony I know?”
“I don't know,” Celestia lied, “I didn't ask. I can't foresee any good coming from my telling everypony that a deity from another world likes to, on occasion, 'borrow' ponies. I think that two things would happen, both at the same time- outrage and a lot of questions that I don't feel should be answered.”
Twilight frowned, tried to hide the shock displayed so plainly on her face, and turned away when she realized she was doing a poor job of hiding her feelings. 'Princess Celestia doesn't trust me,' Twilight thought sadly.
* * *
Applejack gestured with the hand that she wasn't using to steer her boat. “This here's the Hound Pits Pub. It's closed fer business, on account'a half the district bein' plague-ridden and all. We're hidin' right under tha Lord Reagent’s nose, and he don't know nuthin'. 'Course, anyone finds out what we're gettin' up to, an' guards'll be burstin' through the doors with swords drawn. Now that ya've escaped, the Lord Reagent'll be tearin' tha city apart lookin' fer ya...”
She dextrously steered the boat into the stone indentation in the side of the pier. “Admiral Havelock and Lord Pendleton'll be waitin' for ya in the pub,” Applejack said, bringing the boat to a stop. “Believe me when I say that the Admiral ain't no pushover. If'n there's anybody can help ya save Princess Luna- and restore yer good name- it'd have ta be him.” With that, Applejack climbed up and onto the concrete that the boat was now nestled against, and strode off, heading up a set of stairs and out of sight.
Derpy climbed up as well, then took a moment to let her stomach settle. As it happened, Derpy's stomach didn't agree with boats, and boats made it clear that the feeling was quite mutual. Once she was confident in her ability to walk without 'tossing her cupcakes', Derpy walked up the stairs she had seen Applejack use.
The courtyard she found herself in was enclosed. To her left, a building with a large garage-style door emitted strange sounds that reminded her simultaneously of science and a dance party. Straight ahead was a building with a much smaller door, marked by a sign reading 'Hound Pits Pub'. Derpy, heeding the advice of Applejack, entered the building straight ahead of her. Inside, it was exactly as expected- a pub.
Booths were placed along the walls, and an L-shaped bar complimented the L shape of the building, creating a workspace about a half-meter wide for the bartender to... well, tend to the bar. Derpy was discomforted slightly by the large number of bottles and taps along and behind the bar, having never consumed an alcoholic beverage in her life, but she headed towards the voices that she assumed belonged to the pair of men standing in the outer edge of the L, just beside a booth.
“... she's our gal,” said a voice that carried a sophisticated, almost regal air, “even after six months in Coldridge Prison, she slipped out-”
As Derpy drew near enough to the pair to be acknowledged, the other man, who was much bulkier (and well-armed) than the one who'd been speaking, said, “We can continue this later. The woman of the hour is here.”
Both of them turned to face her. “Derpy,” said the larger man, “I am Admiral Havelock, a true servant of the Empress, like you... at least, until the Lord Reagent purged those of us who refused to acknowledge his rule.”
The more regal man bowed. “And I'm Lord Treavor Pendleton. I represent the nobility in our little 'group', but we all act as equals here at the Hound Pits Pub.” Havelock picked up a mug of something brown, with white foam at the top. Derpy was quite certain that it wasn't coffee, chocolate milk, tea, or any other brown drink that wouldn't contain alcohol.
Admiral Havelock took a swig of his alcoholic beverage and spoke. “This is a momentous occasion, Derpy. I'll be honest; we're building a coalition of sorts, with the goal of ending the tyranny of the Lord Reagent, and restoring the throne to Princess Luna, the rightful heir.”
“At risk of execution,” Lord Pendleton added. “We've got big plans,” Havelock continued, “but we can't put them into motion without you. We need your skills, your ability to fight. And, in return for helping us, we're going to help you destroy the man who murdered the Empress.”
“Sorry,” Pendleton added when it became apparent that Havelock had nothing further to say, “you must be exhausted. We can discuss this further after you've recovered, but, before you retire, you should introduce yourself to Ms. Joplin. Her... personality can be... challenging... at times, but her industrious mind gives her the right to be about as challenging as she pleases.”
Pendleton walked away, and Havelock nodded his agreement. “Yes, she's as much an artist as she is a technician. She'll be crafting your gear. Go talk to her, and then get some sleep. We can talk more when you've rested.”
Derpy headed back the way she came, making the small logical assumption that the building that sounded like science was probably the workshop. She wondered what kind of person Ms. Joplin would be. When she got into the courtyard, Derpy noticed that the garage-door had been opened, and a woman with a purple hairdo that was, without the slightest doubt, the same one worn by Rarity, who owned and operated the carousel-shaped boutique in Ponyville.
Rarity wasn't a pony that Derpy knew very well, but she was, as Derpy recalled, rather friendly, and very skilled in her trade- Derpy (correctly) guessed that, judging by the drill press she was using, Rarity wasn't a dress-maker here.
As Derpy stepped into the building, which was, oddly, lit almost as brightly as the sunlit courtyard, Rarity addressed her without looking up from whatever she was machining. “I'll be crafting your weapons and gear, darling. All custom work. For you, I will create the tools of a master assassin.” She looked up from the thing she was working on, for a few moments, to inspect Derpy.
As soon as Rarity resumed working, the drill made a whirring sound that reminded Derpy of the sound that the mail-sorting machine in the post office made whenever it was turned off. “Uuggghhhh,” groaned Rarity, “this can't be happening! This is the worst. Possible. Thing.”
Derpy wasn't sure what had happened, but, as the machine ejected a tank made of red metal and glass, she became quite sure that this was a regular process carried out by the machine- after all, it had all happened automatically. “What's wrong?” Derpy asked.
“The machine ran out of whale oil!” Rarity whined, before smiling at Derpy. “Would you be a darling and refill this tank at the station upstairs? I really must hold this in place. I'm sure you understand. Don't you, darling?”
Derpy shrugged, picking up the tank, which was, to her pleasant surprise, much lighter than she'd thought it would be. “How much do these weigh?”
“Empty? Around twenty-five pounds. Be careful not to break a nail carrying that, darling,” Rarity said in a sing-song voice as Derpy carried the tank up the metal stairs, “Whale oil is quite volatile, and it tends to explode at the slightest provocation.”
Derpy was only slightly perturbed to hear that the tank she was carrying would be filled with a highly-explosive liquid that was processed from whale fat. Once she reached the machine mounted on the wall, refilling it was simple enough. She slotted the tank into the apparatus, pulled the lever, and watched as it filled with the fluorescent blue liquid. She carefully carried the newly-filled tank down the stairs and placed it into the drill press Rarity was using. A metal shield rotated out to protect the tank.
“Fabulous, darling, simply fabulous. Thank you, Derpy.” Rarity moved the drill up and down a few more times, then turned away from the machine. “Here, see,” she said, holding up a piece of metal that bore quite a lot of resemblance to a skull, with lenses for the eyes, “an assassin's mask. You're wanted, darling, so everyone in the city will know your face. This mask will mean terror to them.” Rarity held the mask up to Derpy's face, and said, “Hold still, darling. The fit must be perfect.” She placed it onto Derpy's face, and the fit was so precisely matched to her face that it felt natural, as if it belonged there. Derpy's vision was out of focus, due to the lenses being slightly misaligned, but Rarity corrected that quickly with a screwdriver. “There, darling, you look terrifying!”
Derpy was briefly amused by the way that she'd gone from wearing a mask in the form of a fake personality, to wearing an actual mask. It occurred to her that that was probably poetic somehow.
“I can always make more, darling,” Rarity said, “upgrades for your gear, munitions, and the like. I'm sorry to say, though, that our situation is rather... unfavorable when it comes to acquiring materials to work with. You'll have to do a bit of scavenging to give us the funding we need, darling. I can sell practically anything of value on the black market.”
After a few moments, Rarity finished tinkering with the mask. “Is there anything you need, or anything I can help you with?”
“Actually, yes,” Derpy said, “I'd like to be able to carry more sleep darts for my crossbow, and I wouldn't mind having a weapon that's a bit less... lethal than a sword. I'd like to avoid killing everyone I come across.”
Rarity rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “I'll see what I can come up with, darling. In the meantime, I'm sure you're exhausted. You should get some sleep. Life's going to become more difficult for you very soon, so you should definitely catch up on your beauty sleep while you can. Your room is on the top floor of the pub.”
Derpy made her way to the pub, found the staircase, and began her ascent. The exhaustion she should have been feeling all along seemed to hit her all at once. Once she reached the second floor, she overheard a bit of conversation.
“…'ve heard people saying that she killed the Empress,” said a shy female voice. “And kidnapped Princess Luna as well, I'm sure. What 'people' fail to realize is that she was captured immediately after supposedly killing the Empress, making it impossible for her to have kidnapped the Princess.”
Derpy stepped into the corridor that the voices were coming from. “Hm. I think that would have been part of my defense- you know, if I'd actually been given a trial.”
The man who had been speaking was rather small compared to the human males Derpy had seen thus far, with bright green hair. The woman had long, pink hair, and blushed shyly after realizing that she'd been caught gossiping by the one she'd been gossiping about. Derpy thought she was probably the pegasus that was good with animals- the name 'Fluttershy' seemed to fit.
“Ah. Hello, Derpy,” said the tiny male. “I am William Higgins, but people call me 'Spike'. I'll be showing you to your room.”
Spike, who Derpy realized was Twilight Sparkle's baby dragon assistant, lead her up the stairs, where he showed her the room she'd be staying in. “This is the room you'll be staying in,” he said simply, “it was selected to give you privacy.”
When Spike left, Derpy did nothing more than plop down on the bed and fall asleep. No, she did do something; she had a thought. It was a short thought, brief... and incomplete. The thought was, 'If Luna's not alright... I'll... I'll...'
"In any moment of decison, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." -Theodore Roosevelt
Chapter Two: Day Two: High Overseer Campbell
Twilight Sparkle had, after making it back to her home in the tree (which doubled as Ponyville's library) just after two o'clock in the morning, walked in circles. And cried. When the rays of the rising sun shined through her window, she had stopped walking, in order to focus all of her energy upon the task at hoof: bawling her eyes out (fortunately, she did not literally bawl her eyes out, though Nurse Redheart would diagnose her with severe dehydration later that day. She did, however, manage to create a three-inch-deep rut in the ground where she had paced, and flood that rut with tears).
Twilight was rather notorious around Ponyville, and especially amongst her close friends, for her tendency to overreact to things. She was particularly inclined to overreact to practically everything the Princess Celestia did. So, when Spike the dragon woke and saw her doing what was described above, he did what he had always done in such situations- he sent a letter to Celestia that told her something along the lines of 'Twilight's broken again', then went back to sleep.
What Twilight failed to notice in her stupor was that Princess Luna was doing the same thing as she was, only with around 100% less crying and approximately 96.38274827% more worrying about Derpy. The fact that Twilight was actually worrying about Derpy serves as a testament to her status as a good person, all things considered. Luna was more successful than Twilight in making a rut, however, due to both her larger size and that certain... diggability that dirt tends to have.
* * *
Pinkie Pie had just decided to murder, cannibalize, and make a dress out of (dress-ize?) one of her friends, and was actually trying to decide which one (she was trying to choose between Rarity and Fluttershy, if you must know) when Rainbow Dash burst through the door of the Cake's bakery, where Pinkie Pie worked (and, as it were, plotted murder, cannibalism, and the dressitization of her friends).
“Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie said excitedly, eager to get started with the murdering (she was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, and Rainbow Dash qualified as... something... in Pinkie's books, which, although nonexistent, were a very important reference for Pinkie, encompassing only sixty-eight-and-a-half volumes). “Wanna help me make some Cupcakes?”
“No time,” Rainbow Dash replied hastily, inadvertently saving her own life in the process, “Twilight's broken again, but this time, Princess Luna's broken too!”
Pinkie snapped her fingers. “Aw, bucks.” Rainbow Dash, who had already turned and left, was fortunate not to have seen Pinkie's blatant disregard for her own physical limitations, which would have driven the cyan pegasus insane, had she witnessed it. All-in-all, Rainbow Dash was very lucky; as she normally was when she visited Pinkie- not only did she consistently avoid being driven completely insane on a regular basis, she avoided being murdered, eaten/cooked with (with here does not refer to cooking alongside; rather, it refers to being an ingredient), AND she avoided being skinned and made into a nice, blue leather jacket (Pinkie had, at some point during the conversation, decided that Rainbow Dash would make a better leather jacket than a dress, though it's impossible to determine when exactly this occurred to the pink cloudcuckoolander).
After singing a song about three dancing carrot-sticks and a pencil sharpener to you, Pinkie took off with a cry of “FOR GREAT JUSTICE!”
Needless to say, you were so traumatized by these events that you forgot them- which is really quite unfortunate, because the song was really very compelling, and overall well-written. Never before have you sympathized with a carrot-stick, and you (probably) will never do so again.
* * *
Derpy sat up. She held her left hand in front of her face, as if to prove to herself that what she had dreamed had actually happened. Judging by the Outsider's mark that was now emblazoned on the back of her hand, and the whalebone rune on her bedside table, it had. Further exploring her new 'ink', she did as she remembered having done in her dream.
In an instant, she appeared ten meters away from her bed, still in a sitting position. The strange tingling in her hand and the blue glow from using the magic the Outsider had granted to her, as well as the fact that she had just acquired nearly a dozen splinters in her left plot-cheek alone, lead to her saying to herself, “I'm gonna need tougher clothes.”
After going to Havelock in the pub and listening to him telling her what amounted to 'Murder the High Overseer Campbell and steal his journal, then rescue Overseer Martin, because he's a pretty smart guy', Derpy drank something called 'coffee', which revitalized her to the point where she was mostly aware of what was going on. She didn't really have trouble waking up, but actually functioning throughout the morning did seem to present a bit of a challenge for her. This wonderful new discovery, this miracle beverage, was like a slap in the face to Derpy.
After channeling her inner businessman and downing three mugs of coffee, Derpy decided to pay a visit to Rarity. “Oh, marvelous timing, darling! Simply marvelous!”
Derpy noticed Rarity's bloodshot eyes, and around seven empty mugs like those Derpy's coffee had been delivered in. 'Please tell me that coffee has no negative side-effects,' Derpy thought, suddenly becoming quite concerned.
“Sorry, darling,” Rarity said, “I think I've had a bit too much coffee.” 'Wonderful,' Derpy thought.
“Anyways,” Rarity continued, oblivious to Derpy's unamused thoughts, “I made some things for you! First off,” she said, tossing a rod of some sort to Derpy, “this is what I like to call 'the sleep stick'. One good swing'll clean a man's clock for a good while.” Derpy nodded thankfully. “I also took the liberty of making you this.”
She turned and whipped the canvas off of a mannequin that Derpy hadn't even noticed, revealing a uniform that Derpy recognized from the memories she shouldn't have had. It was navy blue, and came with a golden mask. The golden mask was remarkable because it looked so displeased that one could reasonably say that the mask hated its own life, despite the fact that, being a mask, it was not alive. It was the uniform of the Overseers, the religious zealots that, in some odd form of irony, despised the god of their world, who you should probably recall is the Outsider.
Derpy immediately appreciated Rarity's clever thinking. 'Wearing this, I can just walk right into their base of operations, get rid of Campbell, and walk out. Probably.'
Derpy was bothered by the question of how exactly she'd deal with Campbell, but she decided that she couldn't let that weigh on her mind too heavily.
“Um... excuse me, Ms. Derpy, but...” Derpy turned to see a woman that she recognized as being either Twilight Sparkle, or an emo time-traveler from the future. Due to the fact that she wasn't sure what the latter meant, she assumed that it was Twilight. This was a good thing to assume, because it was true.
“Spit it out, darling,” Rarity said, proving herself not entirely tactful, which surprised Derpy somewhat.
Twilight nodded. “Right.” She took a deep breath. “Myolderbrother,ShiningArmor,ismeeting withHighOverseerCampbelltoday.” She took another deep breath. “IthinkCampbellisgoingtokillhim!Please,ifyoucan,savemybrother.He'sagoodman,notlikeCampbellortheothers!”
Derpy nodded sagely. It would, in retrospect, be rather hard to look anything other than calm and collected after Twilight's rapid-fire word-machinegun attack, so Derpy was just doing what was normal- completely ignoring the urge to laugh hysterically at the nervous woman before her.
“I'll see what I can do, Twilight.”
* * *
Luna cringed as the door to her 'room' creaked open. 'Room' is, in this particular case, a term loosely used to describe the veritable prison cell Luna happened to be in- in fact, the only differences between her room and the cell Derpy had spent six months in is the fact that everything in Luna's room was wooden, and her bed had a mattress AND a pillow, as well as a wooden-swingyopen-door as opposed to a metal-bar-slideyopen-door. Other than those things, the rooms were pretty much the same- even the dimensions of the 'rooms' were similar.
“I'm sorry if I'm intruding... milady.” Luna frowned. This voice didn't belong to the Madame of this fine establishment (Note: 'establishment' should be read as 'shithole of a plague-infested brothel'), nor was it one of the Pendleton brothers (who happened to be identical twin assholes). “That sets you apart from the standard fare, I suppose,” Luna said, pushing herself up off of the bed she couldn't entirely fit on and looking towards the voice as she rose to her full height, displaying her menacing amazonian stature.
The woman who'd entered her 'room' was a frail girl, pale and dressed like a prostitute. She was dressed like a prostitute because she was, believe it or not a prostitute (as is to be expected from a meek girl working in a brothel).
“Milady, I apologize for not realizin' it earlier. I just overheard two of the guards talking about holding a princess captive here, and me and the girls got to talkin', and we figured you was THE princess...”
“I'm sure that they kept it under wraps,” Luna said, attempting to comfort the nervous prostitute. “... Would you like to escape?”
Luna nodded. “I'd love to, though I'm certain Derpy will be rescuing me within the week if I do not.”
“Well, me and the girls weren't so certain,” the prostitute explained, “so I managed to filch the master key... and this.”
The prostitute produced a pistol and a box of bullets, as well as a key. “The VIP entrance is almost completely abandoned these days, and the guard who watches it likes to take naps after lunch...”
Luna grinned. “Thank you... but, first... when will the Pendletons' next visit be?” The prostitute's eyes widened. “You can't possibly mean to-”
“Oh yes,” Luna said, “I'm going to kill those identical pieces of shit while they're trying to enjoy themselves.” The princess laughed.
The young courtesan turned to leave, but Luna stopped her. “If you can, try to 'borrow' a sword for me.”
The girl nodded. “I think I can do that.”
She left without another word, and Luna sat down on her bed. 'Perhaps I'll dream of something interesting,' she thought. It was rather unwise of her to think that, primarily because it was a blatant temptation of fate, whom we all know is quite the cheeky bastard.
* * *
Celestia grimaced. She was grimacing because she was stumped. For whatever reason, Twilight Sparkle had 'broken', as Spike liked to put it, and Celestia was quite sure that she was at fault. 'Twilight was behaving a little strangely yesterday,' Celestia reasoned, 'but only after we'd been conversing for some time...' She could understand why Luna was broken- Celestia had allowed her 'secret' marefriend to be taken by the Outsider, who Luna despised for one reason or another.
Twilight... Twilight was a different story, though... a thought popped into Celestia's (rather large) head. 'Did she notice that I lied to her?' Celestia slapped a hoof into her face. 'Of course! Twilight, after noticing that I had lied to her, had one of her bizarre overreactions!'
A quick peek through her telescope told her that Twilight's friends had gathered around her home, and each seemed to be displaying a different level of confusion and bewilderment. Pinkie Pie had taken to leapfrogging back and forth over Luna as she walked her circular path, Rarity seemed to be attempting to distract Luna by modelling garish hats, Fluttershy was trying to coax information out of Owlicious, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash were trying to drag Twilight from her path, with no success.
'Now, the question is... what the buck am I supposed to do?! I can't go down there myself, for fear of causing an adverse reaction in Luna; but I'm probably going to have to talk to Twilight myself to fix her...'
* * *
Derpy had, after managing to calmly listen in on a conversation between two Overseers, learned that High Overseer Campbell was planning to poison Captain Curnow (who happened to be the older brother Twilight had told her about) in a large meeting chamber on the second floor of the surprisingly unassuming building. She had actually taken part in (meaning she stood quietly and hoped she wouldn't be caught) a reception of some sort (she'd been too busy being scared out of her wits to actually figure out what it was).
Now, having ascended the steep stone stairs to the second floor, she stood before the meeting chamber's imposing double-door, made of hardy wood and painted a pristine white. She peeked into the keyhole, saw that the room was empty, and entered. Just as the Overseers she'd listened to had described, there were two crystal glasses of alcohol on the table. One was poisoned, one was not. She walked over to the glasses, switched them, and turned to leave before noticing something familiar-looking on the wall.
She approached it and realized that it was one of the whalebone runes that the Outsider had told her about. Derpy gently removed it from the wall, which, in turn, caused the world to slow down and become monochrome as the Outsider himself appeared.
“Isn't it odd,” said the Outsider, “that an establishment dedicated to ridding this world of me and my ilk would so proudly display an artifact bearing my mark?”
Derpy nodded. It was quite strange. “Oh, right,” said the Outsider after a few moments (which, considering that time wasn't flowing around them, were not actually moments, but some sort of nonexistent moment... don't think too hard about it, it's just an observation) of silence, “I think I'll give you a new power.”
The mark on Derpy's hand lit up, glowing a light blue that shone through both the leather glove and the monochrome filter that the cessation of time seemed to have applied to the world. “The ability to stop time for short periods of time should serve you well,” the Outsider said, sounding quite pleased with himself. To be fair, the ability to stop time as you please is pretty buckin' awesome, especially when the man you just poisoned and the man that the man you just poisoned was planning to poison are about to walk through the door, and you still need to steal the diary of the man you just poisoned.
As the Outsider disappeared, so did the rune.
As the doors to Derpy's right swung open, Derpy put her new power to use, sending time itself packing, with color scurrying off alongside it. She blinked under the table, then waited. Time resumed, and the two men walked to the table, talked about some issue that the City Watch had with the Overseers, walked around the table to the side with the drinks, toasted to a peaceful resolution of their problems, and after several moments, collapsed. Shining Armor collapsed because Derpy shot him in the stomach with a sleep dart from the crossbow she'd so frantically pulled from concealment, while Campbell collapsed due to the fact that his heart had stopped beating, which had been caused by the poison he'd expected Shining Armor to ingest.
Derpy snatched the journal off of Campbell's corpse, grabbed Shining Armor's unconscious body, and blinked out of the window. 'Next step,' she thought, 'Rescue Overseer Martin in the courtyard and get the hay out of here...'
* * *
Luna exhaled slowly, put her hands on her hips, and looked around curiously. “Alright, Luna,” she said, “this is no big deal.” She looked at the planet that she should have been sleeping on- by sheer coincidence, she looked exactly at Derpy's current location, where she and Overseer Martin were carefully placing the unconscious form of Captain Shining Armor Curnow into a dumpster, far enough away from the Office of the (now deceased) High Overseer to be safe. Of course, being on the moon, Luna had no way of knowing what she was looking at, nor did she have the ability to think about anything other than the fact that she was standing on the moon.
She handled it rather well, actually.
“Okay,” she muttered, “first order of business: HOW THE F#$@ DID I END UP ON THE MOON?!” Obviously, she didn't censor herself with symbols, but, for the sake of keeping the rating down, it was done through CGI. Isn't technology wonderful these days?
“That's an easy one,” said a voice, “we brought you here.” Luna whipped around to look at the source of the voice, but all she saw was a particularly adorable moon rock. Another voice joined the first one in explaining some stuff about the elemental chaos preceding the Outsider's creation of stuff and some things, and the first commented that the Outsider was just a whale-god suffering from ADD, whatever that meant.
All the while, the moon rock kept being adorable. Her little moon rock heart was just now slowing down to a relatively normal rate, and, with a bit of concentration, the moon rock managed to calm down enough to listen to what the three voices were saying. The rock hadn't had an easy life, but you wouldn't guess that from the adorable exterior that she had managed to maintain. After a terrible mishap involving small gray horse with a map for a hat, the rock had been separated from her parents, left to fend for herself in the harsh lunar wastes.
Her death was swift and painless. “So there are more spirits like you?” Luna asked.
“Oh, yes. More than you'd care to know. The Outsider just happens to be far more powerful than the rest of us, and therefore in control.”
“Enough with the history lessons,” said the second voice, “we brought you to the moon for a reason.”
“What reason could you possibly have for bringing me to the moon in my sleep?” “In your dreams, technically, but that's not really important right now.”
“We think that a princess rescuing herself is quite the interesting little twist.” “And we think you'd be glad to wield powers we bestowed upon you.”
Luna arched an eyebrow. “What kind of 'powers' are we talking about?”
The two voices shared a whispered conversation, leaving Luna unable to discern anything that they were saying for several moments. The exchange was rapid, and rather heated, if you asked Luna, but beyond that, nothing could be ascertained.
Eventually, the voices reached an agreement -or something along those lines- and spoke to Luna once more. “Powers not even approaching the limits of yours,” one said.
“We cannot truly give you any sort of power,” the other explained, “that is something that only the Outsider can do.”
“What we can do,” said the first voice, “is awaken powers you yourself already possess.” “But not all of them~!” Interjected the second voice in a particularly sing-song manner that made Luna feel like she was being mocked.
“So you're going to allow me to utilize powers I already have...?” Luna asked aloud, not entirely certain what that was supposed to mean.
“Not you you, mind you,” said the first voice, in the most grating way possible, “but another you. You understand, don't you?”
“Certainly,” Luna lied. “Excellent,” said one of the voices.
“SWAG!” Cried the other voice, before it began giggling like mad. Luna groaned. 'What have I gotten myself into?' she lamented. She didn't even want to know what 'swag' meant.
* * *
Twilight sighed, rolling around restlessly on her bed in the tower at the Hound Pits. Derpy had returned about an hour ago, with Overseer Teague Martin and the news that she'd saved Shining Armor just in the nick of time. Twilight was glad that her brother was alive. He was a good man, and the only family she had left.
She knew that she should be glad- overjoyed, at the very least. Her problem was that she wasn't. She allowed her gaze to drift up and out of the window, where she laid her eyes on the moon, big and bright in the sky.
'It'll be a full moon tomorrow,' she thought. She wasn't sure why, but that somehow felt... significant. The feeling that something was significant was one she hadn't felt since the Empress had died. 'No,' Twilight corrected herself, 'calling her 'Empress' would be like calling Shining Armor 'male relative'...'
Laboriously, she tore her eyes from the almost-full moon, then gazed longingly at the pistol resting on her bedside table. She longed to put the business end of the weapon to her head and end it all, to join her beloved in eternity. But she couldn't; not yet, at least. Twilight had made a promise, and a promise to the one she loved was one she would go to the ends of the world to fulfill.
“If anything happens to me,” Celestia had said, “take care of my sister. Won't you, Twilight? Derpy can't handle it alone. Please... you're the only one. You know that, don't you, Twilight?”
Twilight forced back tears. Not only had her lover been killed, but the sister she'd sworn to protect had been kidnapped. She wished that she'd been there that day. She wished that she could have done something.
She wished that she knew who was responsible, so that she could kill the bastard like the hound it was. Not he or she- it. Whomever it was that had killed the Empress could not possibly be considered human.
Celestia wouldn't have approved of Twilight's desire for revenge. Twilight could recall several instances when Celestia had warned her about revenge, but two stuck in her mind more clearly than the rest.
“Revenge solves nothing,” Celestia had told her, “the desire for it is like a fire, consuming your entire being, and once you've had your revenge, your entire being is empty, and you become a husk- a shadow of the person you were before.” Celestia had smiled. “And, if I may say so myself, it would be a shame for there to be anything less than the real you in this world.”
The second one wasn't as long, but it seemed to carry even more weight than the first, for some reason.
“Never forget, Twilight,” Celestia had said gently, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, and in the end, nobody can see the fairness it it.”
Twilight grimaced. She didn't meant to question Celestia's wisdom, but she felt nothing like a 'fire, consuming her entire being'. And, now that she thought about it, she didn't want fairness. She wanted justice, and she was more than willing to go blind for it...
* * *
Derpy felt like a monster. She was pretty sure she was a monster. Monster or not, though, she knew she was a killer.
She was abhorred by the way that she had been so nonchalant about it, when she had done it. She hadn't considered that she was ending a life.
Worst of all, though, was that she didn't care.
After spending a few hours lying in her bed, unable to sleep, someone came into her room, then left through the window that lead to the tower where Twilight slept. Derpy had moved silently to the window by the time that the unidentified person was halfway across the makeshift bridge connecting the tower to Derpy's window, and recognized that the person was Rarity. Derpy could tell that she was holding something, but the item- or items- was just too small for her to be able to make out what it was in the darkness.
Rarity wasted no time- she was in Twilight's room for no more than 30 seconds. Then she went back the way she came, even walking past Derpy without so much as a second look.
'Maybe she was sleep-walking?' Derpy wondered. Then she felt awful because she had possibly just allowed Rarity to walk across a relatively narrow walkway suspended high enough above the ground that a fall could easily injure Rarity, if it didn't kill her.
Rarity's odd behavior had a positive side-effect, though- it made Derpy forget about the blood that had now stained her hooves forever.
She visited the void in her dreams that night. The Outsider granted her the ability to heal more quickly when injured- though he didn't tell her how quickly, and she had no intention of finding out- then told her, “Things are getting very interesting, Derpy. How will it all play out, I wonder?”
* * *
It was around three in the morning that Luna and Twilight stopped walking in circles. Everypony except for Pinkie Pie (and, obviously, Twilight and Luna) had, by this point, passed out from exhaustion. Luna and Twilight looked at each other, and Pinkie Pie began to sing in a hushed voice (so as not to wake everypony up).
“Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna.
“Luna,” replied Twilight. “Something's not right,” they said in unison. “... but what is it?” they finished.
“I feel as if... as if Nightmare Moon just... woke up. But, not here... somewhere far away,” Luna said shakily. Something told her that she'd been the cause of it, but she deigned to leave that bit out.
Twilight nodded, affirming that she'd experienced a similar sensation. “And I feel like... like I lost all faith Celestia. But it wasn't me, it was...”
Pinkie Pie, as if in response to what had just been said, stiffened. “The screams of those willing to trade vengeance for their true selves...” she giggled maddeningly, “they resonate within the souls of their parallels, letting them know that their lust for blood shall be sated at all costs...!”
As one would expect, Twilight and Luna gaped at the pink party pony, who looked quite confused. “What?”
Luna and Twilight turned their gapes upon each other, then back to Pinkie, and then to the sky, where the sun was moving in agitated little circles, due to Celestia's inability to stay up past her bedtime, especially when she was scheming (or attempting to do so).
Luna, upon realizing what was going on, and upon instinctively realizing that it was WAY past the sun's bedtime, whipped the moon into the proper position, slamming it into the sun in the process. The sun was, naturally, very offended by this, and made sure to let the moon know exactly how it felt. With curse words. This is particularly amazing because, as you should know, most places with suns and moons tend to have their sun so far away that using magic to raise and lower it becomes impossible, and any sun out of magic range is certainly out of cursing range (and cursing range has the longest range of all of the stellar methods of verbal communication).
Another interesting fact about the sun is that one stallion (a pegasus, obviously- earth ponies and unicorns have a distinct lack of the wings required to reach such altitudes, and flight spells are a particularly dangerous group of spells, primarily do to the unicorn's aforementioned lack of wings to catch themselves with after plummeting to their dooms) claimed to have flown up to it, landed on it, and proceeded to urinate upon the poor thing. In her famous speech on the topic, Celestia is known to have said, “That is utterly ridiculous. Everpony knows that a stallion cannot urinate upwards!” The truth of this statement caused the stallion, ashamed of his lies, to fly to the moon. Legend said that he met the infamous Nightmare Moon, and they had several fillies and colts before he died of the severe constipation that eating nothing but cheese (which the moon is constructed of) would most certainly bring about. Upon returning to Equestria and being restored to sanity, the Princess Luna confirmed that the stallion had indeed reached the moon, but, after spending nearly a thousand years eating nothing but cheese, she (as Nightmare Moon, mind you) killed and ate him. It was this action that, though indirectly, brought about the rumors that Princess Celestia was a psychotic nymphomaniac. Isn't history interesting?