Memories Don't Fade Away

by VelvetBear008

First published

A stallion finds a diary in an old house. A diary that Derpy Hooves owned. He reads about her problematic life, her worries and her human friend... or more...

A stallion finds a diary in an old house. A diary that Derpy Hooves owned.
He reads about her problematic life, her worries and her very odd love.

Memories

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It was an old, ramshackle house with two floors in slow decay. The windows were broken and the roof as well, I'm sure it's the kids' that plays around fault, everything seemed to fall apart soon, which haven't yet even after all the years. And it really must be a few years already. The ugly house just somehow got my attention and yeah, I think I'm first because who would care about this big, uninteresting piece of cra... garbage.

By the way, my name's Velvet, if you're like it's important for you. I'm just an ordinary stallion that never did anything special and is a bit lost in his own life. I moved to Ponyville two days ago with my marefriend Lyra, think it was... Friday, yeah. I don't remember much things from that Friday's night... but there was a party, that says it all. A party by some Pinkie Pie, which is in her middle age but the parties she throws are still crazier and crazier, as told me a guy there. I could imagine what crazy stuff I did there after I woke up with a terrible hangover yesterday.

Today in the morning I intented to see some places that my one (and only) friend told me to see when I am here, and instead of all the caf├ęs, restaurants, sights and shops I was alone in front of some meaningless old house. That's what's caught my eye.

I've asked some ponies about it but everypony just shrugged, they didn't know a thing about it, don't how long somepony lived there, don't even know who acutally lived there. No memory about the owner and they don't care.

As I was looking at the building, it could be a while or whole hour, I slowly started to approach it. With every single step closer towards it I was gaining more and more courage and then I was there, in front of the door. I knocked. On a door of an abandoned house. And why? I don't know, that's just a habit when you want to walk in an unfamiliar house. No response. What a surprise, I merely chuckled to myself. And then, I don't know what I was finding there, but under the dusty mat I found keys. Keys that certainly weren't picked up from there for a very long time. And still I don't know why I even wanted to go in that house, maybe it's something from my foalhood because I always liked to explore strange and mysterious things when I was young.

So as I already said, I took the keys. Then I unlocked the door, which was pretty hard to do, and opened the door. It creaked horribly, a loud ear tearing sound. I had to shake. I slowly stepped in. Inside it really didn't look that terrible as from the outside. But I slowly began smelling mildew.

I was in the hall, there on the already colorless wall were hangers that still held few jackets, and it was noticable that nopony's wore them for very very long time. I had to sneeze as I touched one... and then I coughed heavily because all the dust immediately flew out of it right in my face. After I got the dust also from my eyes I could walk on. *Cough* Darn it.

The living room, obviously, My eyes immediately began to study the room in front of me. Then I had to pull the curtains because there was a bit dark. And again, it was pretty darn hard but I did it. As some of the daylight flew from the window to the room, and it wasn't much because outside it's going to rain, I could finally see better.

There was also a bed with grey bedding and then...Toys. I noticed some, by the daylight illuminated, toys in cupboards near the cracked wall on my left. Stuffed animal plushies were most of them. I didn't want to touch them, didn't want to spread the dust again.

Who did live here? I asked my aself as I was looking around with a hoof on my chin like I was trying to find the asnwer somewhere on the walls.

Here is really not anything interesting, I should already go, I thought, I have a plenty of better things to do.

I haven't any.

I turned my back at the living room and was about to go. But somehow I stepped wrong and it caused me to, by mistake, threw off the plushies.

The dust filled my nose, mouth and eyes. I was coughing loudly on the floor when I noticed something under the bed, I couldn't see it well, you know, the dust. I wanted to reach for it, but first needed to stop the bucking coughing!

It was better now. I pulled out the thing under the bed. I rubbed my eyes. It was a book. Dirty, dusty book. I blew off the dust with my eyes closed, waiting for the specks to settle down. Then I held my breath and opened my eyes as I opened the book. Sitting on the floor, I started to read.

The diary of Derpy Hooves

Never heard of that before, I thought and turned the page.

IF YOU'RE NOT THE OWNER, GET YOUR HA HOOVES OFF THIS BOOK NOW!

It was written across the whole page. She sure liked her privacy. I continued in reading, and I was imagining everything.

"Hey Derp!" called a familiar male voice behind Derpy that was just about to fly home through clouds of Cloudsdale after another terrible day in Cloudsdale school. The kids there make fun of her every day, and call her by embarassing nicknames which hurt Derpy everytime she hears them. You know, she wasn't like other pegasus mares, she was little bit different. Derpy Hooves had an innate problem with her eyes. The pupils of her eyes were too weak to stay in the center and they always went side to side everytime she moved them too quickly. And that was her classmates' greatest fun. The disabled Derpy.

Derpy turned her head, and with her shivery sight she found the one who just called at her. Three stallions and one mare from her class and one mare from other, and they were pegasi, of course. "Huh?"

"Sonic Rainboom! Right behind of you!" exclaimed the stallion with opened mouth and rolled eyes focused at the sky behind her. The others were giggling.

Derpy gasped and quickly turned around, looking for the amazing phenomenon on the sky. "Where?! Where?!" She looked back at the teenagers. "Where is it?" she asked, while having her yellow eyes going fast side to side.

The others were lauging out loud. "Look!" screamed one of them, gasping for a breath. "That's just priceless, as always!" he finally finished after long pause when laughing.

"You were right, she's stupid!" added the mare that wasn't one of her classmates, and continued in laughter.

Derpy sadly tilted her head, trying to hold tears. Then she immediately, with teary eyes, flew away quietly crying.

And this usually happened every day.

She hated herself for what she is.

Derpy spent most of her free time in an old, but still yet good-looking, abandoned building in Ponyville. She even sleeps there sometimes. It's the only place where she feels good.

That must be this house.

She didn't like her house in Cloudsdale, she didn't like the villains and even also her mother and father. In the old building she brought some of her stuff from home. Few toys, books and flowers just to make it there look better. Derpy liked it there, all the calm and silence... But those weren't the only reasons that she liked it there.

At night she was regularly visited by her friend. And it was no ordinary friend. It was not a pony.

Her friend is not a pony? No, that's not that weird, animals like rabbits, cats or dogs can be very good friends, too! But then I read all the things about a very intelligent talking bipedal creature with hands instead of hooves. Small eyes, short brown mane, always clothed, calls his species 'human' and calls himself 'Ryan'. Well... ehm, ehm... that... that Derpy Hooves... Uh, hallucinations, imaginary friends... ain't those symptoms of schizophrenia? ...The diary didn't say anything about smoking weed, so schizophrenia was my only explanation.

The story started to continue in my mind as began to read the title of next page.

11th of December, 2004

Derpy didn't want to go home tonight, she stayed at her own. And waited for her friend to visit her like everynight before. She was never sure if it all always happened only in her head or it's real, but that didn't matter. Real or not, she liked it. Ryan was her one and only friend. The best friend.

He always appeared in the house at 09:42pm, and tonight wasn't an exception.

"Ryan!" Derpy shouted joyfully.

"Hi Derpy!" the smiling human happily replied after he finally appeared. He wore a dark blue T-shirt with some symbols, and an interesting black piece of clothing that covered his legs, that is called 'jeans', as he told Derpy weeks ago.

She jumped at him, wrapped his neck in her forelegs and hugged him tightly, her hindlegs were around his body and the hooves of them touching each other on his back.

"Woah," he spoke as he was holding the grinning mare by her flanks in his palms, gazing straightly into her big eyes. "Uh, I'm happy to see you, too!"

She loves you dude! It's written right here!!! She loves her pigment of imagination!! ...Sorry, I just got carried away... Continuing...

"Yeah," she sheepishly replied, "Sorry, I got carried away." Derpy put on a big nervous smile.

"That's alright, Derpy." he assured her in a warm voice.

Derpy cheered up again. But then her pupils started to do the unwanted thing.

She jumped off his arms and turned her back at him, hiding her - now also teary - eyes behind her blonde mane.

He didn't know what's going on and that made him worrying. "Derpy," he started, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." she quietly whined, still not looking at him.

"Really? I think that something's bothering you."

She began to cry into her hooves. "I... I just don't want you to see me now."

"And... why?" Ryan questioned.

"I'm ugly!" she shouted and continued in crying.

"What?" He came to her. He gently grabbed her by the chin and slowly raised her head so he could look in her eyes. In those beautiful golden eyes. "You are not ugly, Derpy! You-"

"I am!" she interrupted him, "Haven't you see yet what my eyes do?"

"I haven't see more beautiful eyes than yours!"

That made her pause, she was speechless. "W-w-... what did you just say?" she whispered.

"I said," He took a deep breath, "You're beautiful. You're the cutest mare I have and will have ever seen."

And again, speechless. And then again crying. "You're saying that just to make me feel better!"

"Maybe," he stated, "But I'm saying the truth."

Derpy's heart melted after he said that.

There wasn't anything more about 11th of December. I needed to absorb everything I was just reading. So she was in love with a... a made up creature... oh my sweet, bucking Celestia!

It was already raining outside so I stayed there and continued in reading of the foreign property.

The next page was surprisingly

16th of December, 2004

"Tell me about your friends, Derpy, what do they look like?" calmly asked a brown neat-haired unicorn stallion with glassess, sitting on his armchair.

Derpy had got her spot on a chair for pacients, unwillingly. She were in a psychologist office.

The grey mare hesitated slightly, she wasn't sure if she should have answered, she was avoiding his gaze nervously. Instead of answer, she let out a sigh of sadness while staring at the floor.

You know, few days ago her parents found out about her hallucinations and forced her to visit a psychologist.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about that now," he spoke, "Derpy, do you abuse any drugs?"

She immediately shook her head in response.

"Any pharmaceuticals?"

Another fast shake.

"Okay," he said and began to write something. Derpy sheepishly watched the levitated quill gliding across the scroll.

"So," he started again, "How long do you have those friends?" He gave her a serious gaze.

"Friend..." Derpy mumbled with her head still tilted.

"Eh?" He began to listen more attentively when Derpy joined the conversation.

"Friend... not friends... I have only one..." she said, slightly tapping her hoof in nervousness.

The stallion smiled. "Thank you." And wrote something again. "Continue. What does she or he look like?"

And Derpy began to describe her friend to the psychologist. When she was finally calmer, she anwered also all of his previous questions.

"What are you writing about me on it?"

"Oh, nothing bad, trust me," the doctor was assuring her, "I need to have everything you tell me written somewhere, otherwise I would not remember it. Look." He showed her the scroll and she read it attentively. "See? You can trust me."

Then there was a silence broken by Derpy after a while.

"I... I'm not insane, doctor... or am I?" she quietly asked with tears beginning to appera in her eyes.

"No, Derpy, you are not insane," the psychologist replied, "You just have a fertile imagination, that's all..."

Derpy sniffed.

"...But why is it so that it suddenly so manifests, don't you know?"

She didn't response for a while then shook her head seriously.

"Really?"

She shook it again. "Really!"

"I don't think so." he stated, "What about school?"

Derpy swallowed. "...No" she whispered, slowly tilting her head with ears looking at the floor.

"Come on, Derpy, you can tell me." the stallion assured her.

A tear was flowing down her cheek. "...Nothing..." she squeaked.

The doctor sighed. "Okay," He looked at his clock. "Well, the hour has passed, so."

Derpy nodded, got up from the chair and gave him 20 bits.

"Thank you. You can visit me again on Thursday, if you want to." he said as he took the money.

Another nod. "I'll think about it," she told him, "Thank you too, doctor. Bye!"

Nothing more from 16th of December, I turned the page.

17th of December, 2004

"You're not going anywhere!" Derpy's mother yelled.

Her mother didn't want her daughter to go to the abandoned house again just to be with some of her made up friends. After Derpy's classmates' parents found it out, they began to think and say very unpretty thing about the Hooves family.

"You are a shame to us now, and if you're gonna go to -"

Derpy couldn't listen to that anymore, her eyes did that thing and she fast flew away.

"Derpy! Come back, NOW!" the mother shouted at her but Derpy paid no mind.

Then the action moved to the old house, her refuge.

They were on the bed, shined by the light of a lamp on a stand. Derpy cried as she was lying on Ryan's chest, and he was caressing her soft blonde mane. It felt so real but somewhere deep inside she knew that it all was only in her head. That pained her so much. He was perfect for her, he had everything she liked - he was kind, nice, honest, he always could calm her down... But she was slowly getting assured that Ryan was just her made up. And even though he was, she tried not to care because she was just happy with him. But wasn't that an imaginary happiness?

The doctor told her about kids that had the same problem as her, but they learned to erase it and then they finally started to live a real life. That was hard but they made it. But could also her?

"Ryan?" Derpy spoke up quietly.

"Yes, Derpy?"

She looked up at him. "Are you real?" Her pupils were going side to side while asking that.

He was little bit surprised by the question. "Uh, yes I am," he assured her, "Why are you asking, hun?"

"I..." Derpy took a deep breath, "...Nevermind."

Ryan sighed, his beloved Derpy was sad again. "Derpy, something is bothering you, I'm sure," he told her in a worriedly, "Please, tell me what's going on. Seeing you that sad makes me just feel horrible!"

"...Well," she started unwillingly, "...I... There's so much that I'm going through..."

"Confess to me."

"It's a long story..."

Derpy told him everything instead of all the 'Ryan is imaginary' stuff.

"Derpy, my poor Derpy," he started while she was crying in his arms. "I'm really sorry that your classmates... bully you... just because of how you look... But for me you're forever and always beautiful, I can see what others cannot... I wish I could do anything to help you -..."

"This will do." she cut him off and kissed him on the lips. He was highly surprised by that

It didn't last long, but they both enjoyed it...

And next?! 17th December ends here!

I didn't find out what they happened next but I think something that bonded them more together.

18th of December

After another terrible day in school, Derpy was again in the psychologist's office.

"So you say you have fallen in love with your imaginary friend?" the psychologist said.

Derpy nodded.

"But that's very bad! You do want to get well, don't you?"

Derpy nodded again, now more unsure.

"You cannot have that kind of relationship your pigment of imagination! That would make everything worse, mainly your getting well!"

"But... I..."

"That is not right, Derpy, seriously!" he told her, "Otherwise it will have a terrible aftermath!"

"But... I..." Derpy whined, "What... what do you think I should do...?"

"You have to end it immediately!" the doctor commanded, "When he appears in the house again, you have to try to force him out of your mind! You'd better do not go to the house anymore!"

"But I love him!" Derpy argued loudly.

"It's all in your head, once you fall in love with your imaginary friend you want to stay with him, and forever live lost in a dream.

I've never thought that this could be so urgent but do not go to the house anymore! Do it for your own good, Derpy."

Derpy was crying, her tears were flowing down into her hooves. "He's my..." *sniff*, "only friend...!"

"I know," he said in a soothing voice, "But he is not real. Departing from him will heal you, Derpy, don't you want it?"

Derpy nodded with her wet eyes still covered by hooves.

"So take my advice, please!"

"...Okay... doctor... thank you."

I was crying, too, when reading it.

Ryan meant everything for Derpy, but he was made up.

I started to read the last page of the short diary.

24th of December

Heart's Warming Eve

This evening it's Hearth's Warming Eve. I would like to spend it with you Ryan, but I just can't. I can't be with you anymore. I don't even know why I am writing this when you're not real.. but I, deep inside my heart, will always love you. I will always remember all those nights when we talked, played, laughed and cried together, our first kiss... And even though you're not real I want to thank you. I want to thank you for taking care of me when everypony else didn't. I want to thank you for cheering me up when I was sad, for being patient with me. I love you but I need to know... do you love me, too?

I'll throw the diary through the windows to our room, but I know the answer will never come.

Goodbye, my love.

Your Derpy

After I dried my eyes I closed the book and was numb for a while.

When I was finally up from the floor, I was slowly walking towards the door from this room. This room filled with memories of the problematic life of Derpy Hooves.

It was a very hard decision to never meet her love anymore, but it was right. Somewhere out there was a REAL stallion that would love her from all his heart.

I was about to walk out from the room but I noticed something. It was a piece of paper lying under the cupboard.

I decided to pick it up. It was almost all covered in webs. After I wiped them a bit, I noticed there was something written on it.

I do.

Ryan

It just stopped raining.

Sequel

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The sequel's on they way (over a month already), and I think it's going to be quite long before it's completed. 'Cause I'm slow as ****.
But that doesn't matter, at least it'll be better......
... I HOPE!
... And thanks brickguy213 for being my proofreader...
... I HOPE!
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/78019/memories-dont-fade-away-act-ii

Edit: It's cancelled now.