A grouchy librarian is forced to take a vacation, not realizing that it will change his life for the better.
Artemis is just your average librarian. Apart from the fact that he's the librarian of the Royal Canterlot Library. And Chief Scholar of the Royal Archives. He's acerbic, quick to anger, and reclusive, and nopony in their right minds would associate with him.
Or would they? Follow Artemis as he is forced to take a brief vacation in Ponyville, recording the events of his daily life.
Hey, maybe he'll even find love at the end of it all.
Entry 1: Boring Old History (and perhaps the worst day of my life)
Well, I suppose I should start off by introducing myself.
Ahem.
My name is Artemis. Yes, that's all there is to it. Can't a pony have a bloody single name in this society without getting extra stares?
What? Single names are reserved only for other races of creatures and the Princesses? Bollocks, I'll show you who's another race of creature! No, I'm not royalty either. Can I get on with the story now without any more interruptions? Thank you.
Yes, well. My name is Artemis. And today, I've been forced to go against my nature by the same Royalty I strive to serve every day without fail. But perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself.
I grew up as quite the strapping young colt. (I can hear you snickering, Dusty Scroll. What, you don't believe me? Shove a crumpet up your arse. It's bad enough that I've actually got to start magically recording these diaries without having your snide comments, now shut up!) Now, where was I? Oh yes, Quite the strapping young colt. In fact, you can almost have described me as sincere during this time period as I actually socialized with the foals around me. Sends shivers down my spine when I think about my younger self frolicking through the flower fields without a care in the world. Preposterous, I tell you! Ah well, that would soon all come to an end.
As a lad, I grew up in a relatively satisfactory home. Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents to death, but there was many an occasion where they simply couldn't understand the greater bounds of my thoughts. In fact, as I grew older I slowly became more and more reclusive, choosing my companions among dusty old tomes and priceless scrolls from my father's university where he taught (He was the head professor of Equestrian History at the University of Trottingham, but that's for another time) rather than among the living. My thirst for knowledge quickly outpaced my desire for friendship, and so I quickly lost friends left and right until it was Me, Myself, and I against the rest of the world as far as I was concerned. I hadn't even noticed that I received my cutie mark during these years, a rolled-up scroll crossed with a blue quill, until a month or so after I had it. It came upon me when I was stumbling through my father's workshop when I was instantly attracted to this rather charming edition of On the Movement of Planets by Sir Hoofington. Perusing the volume at length, I researched for days and nights afterward until one morning my mother pointed out that I had got my cutie mark (personally, I thought it was a completely useless phenomena to consider in comparison to that of the constant rotation of the celestial bodies, but my parents made such a fuss about it that I couldn't protest when they held a small party in congratulations).
High school was a particularly horrifying period for me. Let me tell you, there are no individuals in this whole land of Equestria who are more infuriating than adolescent colts and fillies. The teachers were also severely lacking, many of whom I still hold in the firmest belief to be complete buffoons who had somehow cheated their way into the Equestrian Education System. And I digress, there has never been a more wanton disrespect for knowledge than I have ever known or ever will know for the rest of my days. Utter madness.
I eventually made my way into the most esteemed university to be found (at this point, I was only interested in their library - I quickly found out near the end of senior year that I had far outstripped the knowledge many professors would be able to bestow upon me in the future anyhow) at Canterlot. I had the utmost confidence that whatever those lousy old crack professors threw at me, I could handle with relative if not contemptuous ease.
Oh, how wrong I would prove to be.
Needless to say, my university years were the longest, most painful four years that I would ever experience for the rest of my life. If I didn't know better, I'd swear those professors had been spawned by Nightmare Moon herself to prey on hapless students like I who had perhaps the slightest exaggeration of their own abilities.
What's that, Dusty? I'm rambling? Why, of all the things you could accuse me of! You accuse me, Artemis, the Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives, of rambling? Of all the- Get out of here! What do you mean, Princess Celestia is calling for me? Oh, damn it all to pieces! Tell her I'll be to the throne room in five minutes at the latest.
Oh, I don't know. If she really asks you why I'll be late, tell her that I'm still doing this blasted diary of hers! No, don't quote me on those words! You bloody well know what I mean!
--you hear a door slam in the background--
Honestly! I had to be stuck with one of the most petulant, air-headed, infuriating assistants this side of Canterlot! Well, at least I have an excuse to get this diary over with for today.
Ah, what was that? How did I become the Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives? Well, Celestia was in need of a new pony to take care of the Library and Archives after her former librarian and protege Twilight Sparkle was sent to Ponyville for an extended research assignment on the Magic of Friendship, and I happened to be available for employment, so I was accepted for the job. "Not a very exciting vocation," you must be thinking to yourself. I'll let you judge that for yourself.
After taking the job, I was quickly absorbed by my work. It was perfect. The previous librarian (Ms. Sparkle) had kept everything orderly and clean, just the way I liked it. It was also a job that surrounded me with books, another plus side that I deeply enjoyed. I think the most enticing part of this employment was that it required minimal contact with any other ponies at all! Magnificent! I was essentially being paid to do what I had already been spending my life doing - being a reclusive, irritable bookworm hunting for more knowledge to devour. I'd never imagined myself working for royalty in my younger days, but it certainly wasn't too bad at first. I'd even catch glimpses of Princess Celestia as she brought her recently reformed sister Luna into the Library to reacquaint her with more modern practices of society. Sometimes, I was graced with her words as Princess Celestia tasked me with assisting her sister's research of these practices, periodically checking her progress via me.
Most of the time, it was quiet in the library. Until one day, the Princess would task me with something so outrageous that for a moment I'd thought she'd a bit more sun than was good for a pony, immortal or not. I mean, commanding me to take a vacation? Who does she think I am?
Blast, my five minutes are up. Perhaps I can bother her majesty with the issue until I can convince her to abandon this foalish project.
- Artemis, Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives In the Year of our Solar Majesty 1 ALR (After Luna's Return)
I suppose Artemis must feel rather indignant, feeling that I'm forcing him to take this vacation for no good reason. I cannot help it. Without this vacation, I fear that he may soon collapse on himself!
Well, I suppose it was mainly Luna's idea. You should have seen the look on her face when she stumbled into my room one day inquiring as to how Artemis' health had been at the last quarter-annual report. Perhaps the look that followed it was her sheer delight at being able to catch me indulging in one of my favorite pasttimes.
Even princesses need a break! I thought I might have been able to nibble a bit on my secret cake stash without any interruptions, but she caught me red-hooved. Or cake-hooved, rather. It was quite embarrassing, let me assure you. While I had attempted to claim whatever dignity I could with cake frosting around my mouth, she sat there giggling in the corner, her face full of mirth.
"Oh, 'Tia, if you could only see the look on your face...!" She stuffed her hooves over her mouth in an attempt to suppress her giggling, which only succeeded in making it worse. Finally, she succumbed to her emotions and started laughing uncontrollably on the floor.
I remained stoic the entire time, my face set in a look of stern reprimand. I felt a small urge to smile as well, but I had to maintain my pride as an older sister! "Are you done laughing at me, Luna?" I have to admit that I pouted a little bit. Nopony, not even a princess, likes to be caught with their theoretical breeches down.
"Forgive us, sister, we just can't sto- AH HA HA HA~" Luna continued laughing until she wheezed for breath, unable to control the fountain of mirth that erupted from her throat. "W - we have not laughed like that for 1,000 years."
"Well, I suppose it was rather funny." Allowing myself to grin now, I stared my sister in the eyes and composed myself. "What was that you were asking about when you walked in? I was...busy when you first asked me."
Luna's face instantly darkened. "Dear sister, we are most concerned for the librarian Artemis. While we have not seen in the the past three months, as our royal duties have often kept us busy well into the morning, We have heard reports from the palace staff that he has been looking wearier by the day. Please, sister, will you allow him to take a vacation in order recuperate? It does not sit with us well to see the pony who worked so hard to usher us back in society be repaid so poorly."
I stared deeply into Luna's face and she blushed, averting her eyes. She actually cared about this librarian, now, did she? Flashing her a mischievious smile, I asked, "There wouldn't be any motives in having him vacation around this time of year, hm? Is my little Luna growing up now?" I giggled. It's been too long since my sister had her eyes on a stallion, and oh what a stallion she had chosen for herself this time!
"Sister! We do not harbor 'those' kinds of feelings for him!" Luna's fur blushed an even deeper blue, not convincing anypony but herself. "We just wish to thank him for what he has done for us. Is that so unusual?"
My sister can be so cute when she's embarrassed. Chuckling, I decided to drop the subject until later. "Actually, I've already tried to send him off on vacation at least twice since he's started his work at the library and Archives, and each time he's refused me." I sighed, remembering his exact words in rejecting my offer. "He assured me both times that he would much rather prefer being surrounded by his precious books than anywhere else, and that even if he were to go on vacation he would spend it studying in the Archives."
Luna nodded her head slowly. "We are aware of this, but we were wondering if you might issue a medical order forcing him to vacation?"
I opened my mouth to push aside that suggestion when I realized the merit in her plan. If I had a doctor issue a medical order to Artemis forcing him to vacation on the grounds of him overworking himself, and then had that order specify him leaving for another location (say, Ponyville), then he would have no choice but to rest! This plan was perfect. Now, only to arrange some things before letting it take effect. A quick letter to my most faithful student should solve the rest.
"Rest assured, Luna, that I will do everything I can to help you with your 'unusual' request." I winked at her, watching in amusement as she blushed once again.
"Thank you, 'Tia. We must retired to bed now, for it's getting rather early in the day and I must rest." Luna quietly exited the room, shutting the door behind her while I turned to my desk. Removing the cap from my inkwell, I dipped a fresh quill and began to write a letter to my protege Twilight Sparkle.
To my Most Faithful Student,
I will be sending over one of my trusted advisers to be in your care for a week. His name is Artemis and he's a rather dour pony. He seems to prefer the company of books rather than the company of any other pony, seeing as he is quite the recluse. He might be disagreeable with you at first and maybe for the rest of the week, but it is my utmost wish that you and he eventually get along. You might find that you both share many interests in common if he were inclined to be sociable. If he does hurt you in some form or fashion, please send me a letter as quickly as possible. While I value him as the Chief Scholar of the Archives, sometimes he is quite sharp and doesn't quite understand how to act around other ponies, much less be considerate of their feelings. I wish you the best of luck.
-Princess Celestia
PS. Try to help him be what he once was.
Finishing my letter, I sent it on it's war before walking quickly to the throne room to request the presence of one sour-faced librarian. I'm sure he will be most thrilled.
Well, I'm still stuck here doing these bloody diaries. I might as well start with the events that transpired yesterday. I've yet to become accommodated to these new surroundings, so perhaps a bit of recording shall do me good.
Artemis sighed contently as he picked through Volume III of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation" by Starswirl the Bearded. "This is the life," he thought to himself. "No noise, no distractions, and certainly no ponies between me and this lovely knowledge. What a perfect day." Snapped out of his reverie by a series of rapid knocks on the door to his office, he scowled. "Almost perfect."
Trotting towards the door, he quickly composed himself in his usual manner, making sure his face was strictly void of expression before answering who he guessed would be none other than his permanent assistant and secretary, Dusty Scroll. As Artemis opened it, he was quickly brushed aside as a blurr of brown fur rudely forced itself into his office and made a whirlwind of his piles of very official looking documents.
"Artemis, thank Luna's stars I found you! Celestia requires your immediate appearance in the throne room at once!" Dusty Scroll, an excitable earth pony and Artemis' only help in running the entire Archives, stared at his surroundings. "Wow, you've really got to let the air out of this place! I can hardly breathe through all this dust."
Artemis let out an involuntary twitch. "Yes, one would think that after kicking up every single particle of dust in this enclosed space, one wouldn't," he replied sarcastically. "Any clues as to why I'm being summoned? As I recall, I've already given my quarter-annual report of the Archive's status just last Tuesday."
Dusty Scroll shook his head rapidly. "Not a one! The Princess simply said that it was urgent! You should really hurry, by the way. I spent the last thirty minutes just looking for where you are!"
"Cripes," Artemis muttered darkly to himself. Sometimes he couldn't understand what he'd done to deserve this. He rolled the idea of simply firing his secretary around in his head until he realised that he wasn't getting any closer to the throne room. "Well, I'd better go see what the Princess desires of me." Sighing, he headed out the door before turning his head back with an afterthought. "I'd better come back and find this office tidy again or by Celestia's grace there will be Tartarus to pay for a certain assistant of mine." Shooting daggers at Dusty, Artemis galloped towards the throne room to see what her Solar Majesty could possibly want with the Chief Scholar. ----
"Begging your pardon, your highness?" Artemis rubbed his ears with his hooves, as if attempting to remove some imaginary wax that was obstructing his hearing. "You've instructed me to..."
"To go to Ponyville and take a vacation. You've been working for a year non-stop!" Her Majesty graced him with a bemused smile, one certainly fitting of her illustrious position. While it was true that he couldn't remember the last time he had stopped during the day for even a ten minute break, he certainly wasn't going to let her send him away without a fight.
"But, your Majesty, I protest! I'm in the middle of reorganizing the entire "Starswirl the Bearded" wing to make it easier for ponies to find time scrolls and other such spells!" Artemis' voice became a little high strung near the end of this, as if the very thought of abandoning his Archives was pure sacrilege.
"And I'm sure Dusty can take over wherever you've left off for a week. Have you looked at yourself recently? You're as gaunt as a ghost!" Chuckling, she conjured a mirror with her magic to show him exactly what she was talking about.
"Ehm... Surely I don't look THAT bad? I assure you, Princess, that I am still fully capable of performing my duties as Chief Scholar. You needn't worry yourself on my behalf." Artemis was tempted to stare at the floor, but instead decided that holding an unwavering stare with the princess would better suffice to prove his point. He fervently, fervently hoped that his plee would go through to the Princess and he wouldn't really need to be sent to Ponyville after all.
Exchanging glances with one of her royal advisers, Celestia let out a cough. "Scribe, would you please send for Dr. Velvet? I have a small request of her." Turning back to Artemis, she gave him a stern look that right about had him sweating on the spot. "Artemis. I'm going to issue a medical order from the doctor that is going to force you to take a vacation, and that is final. I care for all my little ponies, and you clearly need a break. I'm not going to have you collapse on yourself from working in the records room for too long." She smiled. "After all, you are one of the best Librarians I've ever seen."
Artemis' jaw dropped. "A-a medical order!?" He stammered violently, despite his usual composed manner. Medical orders were serious business in those days. Even the Princesses were bound to it, in the case that they ever decided to overwork themselves by pony standards. His mind fired off on new tangents on it's own, trying to wrap itself upon the inevitability that he would have to take a vacation.
At that moment, Dr. Twilight Velvet entered the room. "You called for me, your highness?" Her voice was smooth and sweet, reminding Artemis of the wild honey with which he drank his coffee with. Spotting the purple coated stallion from across the throne room, she smiled. "Hello, Artemis."
"Ah, erhm. Hello." Artemis was mildly shocked. He hadn't talked to Dr. Velvet except on annual check-ups and social outings amongst the palace staff, so he found it surprising that she remembered his name.
"Ah, so you two are already acquainted. That's excellent. Dr. Velvet, I want you to write up a medical restraining order forcing Artemis to take a vacation for a period of one week. I'm afraid he is working too hard at his job, although he hardly seems to think so." Her face already assuming the bemused smile of royalty, Celestia turned back to Artemis and gestured for him to go to Dr. Velvet.
Getting up to go, he paused. "Surely, it could only be for a day? Must it be a week?" Artemis was downright miserable at this point. There was no way to avert his terrible fate, but at least he could attempt to make it bearable. A week was simply too long to be away from his precious Archives, after all.
"A week, Artemis. I shall instruct you later on your arrangements of lodgings in Ponyville, so please prepare for departure by tomorrow morning."
Sighing inwardly, he merely bowed. "Yes, your highness." He trodded slowly over to where Dr. Velvet was attempting to cover her snickers. "What do you find so funny?" His voice emanated depression.
"Oh, nothing. You just remind me so much of my daughter. She's about the same age as you are, and just as dedicated to knowledge too." Reaching into her saddlebags, she pulled out a medical restraining form and filled out the necessary details. "Name: Artemis. Occupation: Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Royal Archives. Etc, etc..." Looking up from her work, she magically handed him a pen that he gripped with his own blue aura. "Just sign here."
With a single flourish, the name "Artemis" adorned the paper in neat Canterlottian calligraphy. Placing the order in her own files, Twilight Velvet turned back to him and smiled. "Chin up. It's not every day that Princess Celestia herself issues a vacation to one of her ponies."
"I rather wished she weren't so generous to me." In his oncoming gloom, Artemis lost all the bite in his tongue that was famous for chasing away his colleagues. "Ponyville. Of all the places. Well, at least it shall be quiet in a rural town like that. Perfect place to finish that "Treatise on Planar Manipulation"..." He continued muttering to himself as he walked down the hallway in a daze, failing to notice that he had left Twilight Velvet on her own. She shook her head with a smile and trotted back to the infirmary where she had been caring for a chef who'd caught the flu.
Arriving back at his office was a scene to behold. Artemis stared. Then stared some more. He'd even rubbed his eyes with his hooves for good measure.
The office had been completely tidied, yes, but now there was another troubling issue that had arisen. "Dusty?"
Dusty Scroll poked his head out of the storage room. "Yes, Artie?"
"Don't call me that. Anyhow, where is my supply of coffee? I keep my supply of Saddle Arabian beans right atop my desk." Those beans cost me a fortune, Artemis thought to himself. This bumbling fool better not have...
"Those were coffee beans? I thought that was all dust. Nasty smelling stuff, it was." Dusty scrunched his nose at the thought. Used to drinking a much lighter mix, the potent beans had nearly no resemblance to the coffee he was fond of. "I threw it all out. They should be half way to the royal incinerator by this time, if not already roasted." He smirked at his own witticism. Roasted, get it?
Artemis tried to keep himself under control. It was quite admirable, really. However, he just couldn't contain himself anymore. "Blast it, Dusty! First I've been forced by her Majesty to take an ill-needed vacation, and now I'm expected to do it without coffee!?" He roared, causing his neatly organized papers to fall into array again. Coffee was his lifeblood. It kept him sane. It could be appropriately said that if Artemis did not live for his books, he lived for his coffee.
"Darn it, I just cleaned those!" A look of dismay spread to Dusty's face only to be quickly stifled by Artemis' rage.
"Confound the papers! Dusty, what am I supposed to bloody do now? Those were expensive beans! Worse, I have to wait an entire month now before the next shipment arrives." Fuming, Artemis stalked towards Dusty and started shoving him out the room. "Out! I have no patience to deal with you now!"
"Ow! Hey, watch it with that horn!" The sensation of Artemis' horn digging into his backside was not a very pleasant one, Dusty Scroll mused. That was about as far as he got before he felt himself being flipped upside down and flung out of the room. With an audible oomph, he landed on his stomach in the hallway.
"Go into the archives and finish organizing that blasted "Starswirl the Bearded" wing, and for Celestia's sake leave me alone for the rest of the day!" Grabbing the door handle by magic, Artemis soundly slammed the door, the sound resounding up and down the royal corridors until it entered the ears of one very surprised solar guard, who became so startled by the noise that he involuntarily jumped up and had a rare display of emotions that guards were so famously known to hide. Quickly glancing around to make sure that no one had noticed, he straightened up alert as ever. If the guys back at the barracks had seen him, he'd never hear the end of it.
Artemis sunk slowly into his chair and sighed. He was not looking forward to the prospect of vacationing, although visiting Ponyville did hold a certain charm for him. "At the very least, I'll have some peace and quiet. Perhaps their library even has one or two books that I still have yet to read, although I'm not about to waltz off without this 'Treatise on Planar Manipulation'." Now that the inital gloom was over, Artemis reviewed his position philosophically. "At least I won't have to put up with Dusty for an entire week." Allowing himself a grim smile, he acknowledged that perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all.
Still, there was one thought that nagged at his mind. "How in all of Equestria will I survive without coffee for an entire week?" Moaning in despair and burying his head in his hooves, he felt caffeine deprived even while he had just drunk a fresh cup earlier that morning. "I suppose... I'll have to settle for whatever grind they have in Ponyville." he shuddered. Ponyville being the rural town it was, there was no possibility of them having any type of coffee excepting the common "light" grind that was available to everypony and what Dusty Scrolls found particularly addicting.
He stayed that way for quite a while until Luna's moon had long replaced Celestia's sun, contemplating his plans for the week while lamenting the loss of his precious beans. Realizing that if he didn't get packed now, he would be forcefully ejected from the palace with nothing but the clothes on his back, he forced himself up and closed up his office after safely depositing "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation" into his saddlebags. Artemis walked towards his quarters, his hooves making a soft clip-clop against the smooth marble floors as he walked by a multitude of stained glass windows that encompassed the history of Equestria thus far. Moonlight filtered through the glass, causing an array of colors to light his path. Artemis loved this walk back to his rooms. The way the light softly splayed out in front of him was a sight to behold, the stained glass breathtaking in the light of Luna's moon. The inner historian in him was always giddy in recognizing the events portrayed in each window. He continued walking onward as he passed by Pre-Equestria during the times of the three pony tribes. He had even seen a window illustrating the great Cirran Migration, a herd of Pegasi who had appeared from a land over the ocean to rebuild their nation here. From the Greek/Roman age forward, he quickly lost interest. The period of time where Celestia had been a tyrant and raised the sun only after receiving sufficient tribute each day brought new light to the name "The Dark Ages". It didn't do a pony well to linger too long on the events that transpired during this era, but needless to say it was one filled with darkness and fear.
By the time he had reached his room, Artemis had trotted through about 4,000 years worth of history. He paused in front of the window that stood across the hall from his door. This one was a rare filler window, made of the clearest glass in order to break the monotony of viewing stained glass after stained glass. The moon was particularly brilliant this evening, and Artemis could have almost sworn that he saw the Princess of the Night herself patrolling the night skies above Canterlot, making sure the city remained safe. He smiled. While he had a largely negative opinion of the ponies around him, he felt connected to Princess Luna after conversing with her during those many months where she re-acclimated herself to society. He wasn't quite sure what made him feel so familiar with her, but he didn't give it much thought. After all, she no longer visited the library, now swamped in royal duties. Feeling that he'd stalled long enough, he turned to enter his room.
Unlike others who lived in the palace, Artemis lived without extravagance. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find anything in his room that wasn't strictly functional. While he did have a fine appreciation of furniture, and in fact own several chairs hoof-made by the legend Heatherwald Trotsky himself, his room was relatively unadorned.
As soon as one entered the room, they would immediately be assaulted by the smell of dark coffee and old books. Stacked up high against all the walls were bookshelves that often reached as high as the ceiling (which was in fact several ponies tall). Books of every subject covered these walls, from history to astronomy and military tactics to Modern Equestrian. To say that Artemis was a well-read pony would almost be an insult. The room was meticulously clean, having the furniture arranged in such a way that he could easily navigate the room even while holding tremendous piles of books. The centerpiece that dominated the room, however, was a large wooden cylinder with a rounded cover. On top of the cover, one could see the etchings of a cup of coffee. Normally, this is where Artemis would store his precious supply, but he had just run out yesterday and Dusty had thrown out the new shipment before he had the chance to claim it. Scowling at that memory, Artemis turned to his wardrobe and found a carpetbag that suited his purposes. Without many personal effects to bring, he quickly packed a toothbrush, toothpaste, Vol. III of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation", a roll of parchment, three quills, a rapier (he practiced fencing in order to keep his body from falling to waste), and a week's worth of vests. Viewing over his preparations and finding himself sufficiently packed, Artemis plopped himself down into the depths of his bed for a long, fitful sleep where nightmares of coffee haunted him.
----
Artemis arose with the dawn. Used to sleeping small amounts at a time, he felt only slightly groggy and instinctively reached out with his magic to make a cup of coffee before he remembered he had no beans. "Blasted assistant and his blasted taste in weak coffee beans..." Well, he thought to himself. What a wonderful day this will turn out to be. Not even out of bed and I'm already cross without my coffee. Then again, I'm usually cross with or without it anyways.
Slowly pulling himself out of the covers, Artemis reached down towards the floor until his hoof felt ground, and swung out of the bed. He'd learned early on that with his horrible hoof-eye coordination in the morning, if he didn't already have a hoof on the ground he would more likely tumble onto his side than end up in a standing position. Stretching out the cracks from his body, he picked up his carpetbag he'd left by the door and headed down towards the throne room when he ran into none other than Dusty Scroll. Instantly, Artemis' face took on a darker, stormier temperament.
"Mornin', Artemis!" Dusty Scroll had a convenient habit of completely forgetting any unpleasant events that transpired the previous day. "Don't you worry, the Archives will be in steady hooves while you're gone! Just go out there and enjoy yourself." Dusty gave Artemis a huge grin.
"Yes. Ecstatic." Artemis replied flatly. "I'm sure you're up to the extremely easy task of managing the Archives. I'm not sure how in Equestria I would manage without you." Rolling his eyes skyward, Artemis eventually settled his gaze onto the miscreant in front of him. "Just PLEASE try to not destroy anything while I'm absent. Celestia knows what'll happen when you're without my guidance."
In a classic, Artemis-esque response, Dusty raised his eyebrows. "Who do you think I am, a foal?" While he had tried to sound as offended as possible, his natural jovialty couldn't prevent another grin from breaking out across his face. "Stop being so serious! You know I've been a good assistant for the past year or so, despite the fact that I could have left this place to be a model. I mean, look at my stunningly good looks!" He swished his mane in a way that caught the rays of Celestia's sun passing through a nearby window.
"Oh yes. I'm sure every mare who ever lays eyes on you will stop dead in their tracks."
"Why, thank yo- wait a minute."
Shaking his head, Artemis started walking towards the throne room with his bag in tow before he heard Dusty's parting words. "You're no smooth cassanova yourself, you know!"
What an interesting choice of a rebuttal. It's not as if I go out chasing the mares at every street corner, Artemis thought disdainfully to himself after remembering the past antics of his secretary in trying to secure a special somepony for himself. "Some ponies have no sense of decorum," he muttered under his breath. Still, it's not as if he was bad looking. Was he?
Artemis was so engrossed in this surprising new line of thought that he collided with the wall next to the throne room doors. Shaking the stars out of his eyes, he could have sworn he saw a fleeting grin across the faces of the Royal Guards who stood watch by the doors.
He squinted his eyes, allowing the full force of his interrogative gaze sweep over the two offending individuals(which, actually, was a lot of force. He was often called upon to interrogate enemies of the state if only to stare their secrets out of them). Finding no further indication that they had displayed emotion at all, Artemis walked towards the doors with as much dignity that he could muster. "I'm here to speak with the Princess in regards to my... vacation." He shook his head. The word still left a bad taste in his mouth, one that could have undoubtedly been washed away with a good brew of coffee had he managed to make one.
"Of course sir. Please, step inside. Her majesty has just finished raising the sun for the day." Nodding perfunctorily, the guards opened the door with their magic, allowing Artemis to step inside.
In the haste of yesterday to meet the Princess' summons, Artemis had failed to appreciate his first visit to the throne room. Now, as he crossed the threshold into the Throne Room for a second time, he drank in the beauty that surrounded him.
The room was tall and sweeping, ornately carved pillars of marble supporting baroque arches that held up the ceiling. Banners displaying the mark of the Sun hung from the walls, alternating with large stained glass windows that let in the glorious dawn. A large crystal chandelier dominated the center of the ceiling, tiered with hundreds upon hundreds of candles. It created a prismatic effect as it was hit by the sun's rays, bedazzling Artemis' eyes after staring at it for too long. He allowed his eyes to wander over the golden oak desks of Celestia's advisers that lined the sides of the room, briefly appreciating the mastery with which they were built, before settling them on his sovereign who was busy listening to a long report from a pony who had a bits cutie mark, presumably a representative of the Treasury. Walking along the crimson carpet laying beneath his hooves, he eventually reached the throne and patiently waited for the other pony to finish his report.
"-and the Mayor of Cloudsdale borrowed around 4.5 million bits from the Treasury yesterday in order to cover the deficits created in his road improvement project." Rolling up his report with a flourish, the pony added, "Overall, the Treasury is about 1 billion bits strong and in no danger of becoming broke in the foreseeable future." He nodded to himself after mentally checking some calculations. "No danger at all. This should conclude my report."
"Very good, my little pony. You may return to your duties." Celestia smiled at the pony before sending him off, just noticing Artemis standing by the base of the dais. "Artemis! I'd almost forgotten that I'd sent you on vacation!" She chuckled lightheartedly. "I'm so used to you being holed up in that dusty old library that it had slipped my mind you were leaving today." Opening a rift in space with her magic, Celestia quickly retrieved a letter and gave it to Artemis. "Now, be sure not to lose this letter. It contains directions on where you'll be staying as well as a letter of recommendation to who you'll be staying with, although I did take care to send advance warning so she should be expecting you."
Artemis wheeled backward as if physically struck by the Princess. "I, I beg your pardon? I'm staying with somepony?"
"Why, yes. Ponyville is a small town that sees little traffic, so they've hardly had need for an inn. I've arranged for you to stay with somepony while you vacation for a week." Celestia arched her eyebrows. No matter how misanthropic (misponythropic?) her valued librarian had appeared to be, she hadn't expected him to be so shocked with the prospect of being in somepony's company.
"I, err. I was just hoping to be alone..."
"I'd thought of that, and came to the decision that if I'd authorized a cottage for your use you'd spend the entire week cooped indoors nosing through textbooks, which can hardly be described as relaxing." She raised her hoof to stop any protests from leaving Artemis' mouth. "I know you consider it to be relaxing, but you really need to step outside for once! I think I would be rather correct to assume that your current appearance was caused by studying in the first place...?" She let the pause extend for a couple seconds before moving on. "Anyways, it won't be so bad. You'll be staying at a library, in the very least."
A look of relief spread across Artemis' face. "Ah, a library. Most excellent accommodation indeed. Thank you for your generosity, Princess Celestia. Eh, just one question, however: who, exactly, am I staying with? And did you mention that pony as a 'she' earlier?"
"Why yes. I've arranged for you to stay with Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student and talented protege. I'm sure you two will get along swimmingly together." Smiling warmly at the memory of her student, Celestia seemed to gaze off into the distance for a second or two before snapping back into reality to notice that Artemis was still standing where he was, rooted to the position. He has this sort of numb look on his face, something quite astonishing to behold as she had never seen her librarian as anything other than perfectly alert and sharp as a sword.
"Is there a problem, my faithful librarian?"
"Ah, erm...No problem at all, your majesty. I'll...just be on my way then." Turning stiffly so as to not betray his emotions, Artemis briskly walked out of the throne room. Celestia watched him as he left. "That pony really hasn't talked with a lot of other ponies in a while, has he?" She pondered this question briefly before a representative from Manehattan requested her to approve a proposal for a new set of railroad lines from Manehattan to Trottingham. Apparently the tourist trade between the two cities was booming, and more transit would be required to increase revenue.
----
It was around noontime when Artemis touched down in Ponyville via palace chariot. Curtly thanking the Royal Guards who had pulled him here, he sent them on his way while disinterestedly observing his surroundings. He'd done his research, of course, and was quite shocked to realize that not only was Twilight Sparkle the bearer of the Element of Harmony, but her fellow bearers also resided in Ponyville. More shocking still, they had already saved the empire twice - once from Nightmare Moon and another from Discord. Filing away all that important information for later, he brought up the first of his data files on known residents of Ponyville. At the top of the list was, of course, Pinkie Pie.
He'd read up extensively on her during the ride from Canterlot, being told that she was the most volatile of the group and thus the one who posed the most danger to him during his "vacation." Apparently endowed with the ability to bend physics to her will and repeatedly break something called "The Fourth Wall", she was also a walking party and somehow managed to carry a party cannon with her everywhere she went. Not only that, she also had something called "Pinkie Sense" that allowed her to know random future events shortly before they occurred.
The more he read about her, the more incredulous Artemis became. "There can't be any bloody way that this pony exists. These notes were made by quacks," he grumbled to himself. Shoving the notes back into his saddlebags, he sought out the nearest cafe for a quick bite to eat before introducing himself to Twilight Sparkle. Finding one that suited his tastes, he found himself soon relaxing on a hay bale while sipping cool iced tea. "Well, maybe this place won't be so bad after all," he thought to himself. "After all, they've most the comforts a city should have, and I'm staying in a library." He mulled over these thoughts as he drank, relishing the cool sensation of tea flowing down his throat while the hot sun glowed brightly overhead.
"Yes, this should turn out to be quite satisfactory indeed." Talking to nopony in particular, he raised his glass and toasted himself for a relatively peaceful week ahead (albeit the lack of coffee, he realized afterwards). He never even noticed the pair of light blue eyes staring at him from inside a nearby hay bale.
"Omigosh Omigosh Omigosh there's a new pony in town! Quick, I have to tell Twilight and Aj and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and Rarity and everypony else in Ponyville so we can throw a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! Oh, I hope it can wait until after the 'Two weeks since our last party' Party!" Giggling to itself, the hay bale started bouncing away , drawing the curious glances of other ponies wandering the market street until it disappeared in an alley.
----
Feeling relatively refreshed, Artemis strolled around Ponyville in no particular hurry. He had the rest of the afternoon, after all, and he intended to use it at length by observing everything in town that could be observed. He soon found, however, that what he found observable turned out to be an incredibly short list that included bunnies grazing on grass and a mail mare with wall-eyes clumsily delivering a package to a candy shop where a mint-green unicorn was skillfully playing a lyre. Other than that, the town was pretty much what he'd expected: charmingly quaint, peaceful, and the lack of a sense of urgency in the place. Ponies moved where they wanted to at the pace they wanted to without worrying too much about the time, something Artemis could appreciate. After all, it was near impossible to read a book while moving if you planned on galloping at full speed everywhere.
The sun was starting to dip low into the sky, and Artemis decided that he'd seen enough hay thatched roofs to last him a lifetime. Removing the map of Ponyville that had come with the letter, he quickly plotted out the shortest route to the Golden Oaks Library where he would be staying with Ms. Sparkle for the duration of his visit. While the letter did not specifically say how much Ms. Sparkle was to accommodate him, Artemis had already made up his mind to politely refuse all but offers of food and reading material.
"It's going to take more than this to prevent me from studying, your Majesty. After all, what can you expect if you board me at a library? I appreciate you for trying, but this idea was simply ridiculous from the start," he said to himself, allowing a slight chuckle all the while. Yes, he would "vacation" for a week - no doubt he'd spend this vacation reading more books than he could ever fit back in his busy Canterlot schedule. This brief respite was becoming increasingly favorable in Artemis' eyes, as he was now free to pursue his interests without having to worry about his duties or the Princesses snooping into his business. However, as our rebellious scholar will soon find out, he'll have a harder time trying to stick with his books than he thinks. Turning round the final corner, Artemis viewed the entirety of the Golden Oaks Library.
"Quite interesting, I should think. It appears that they've carved out the entire inside of the tree in order to make space for the books and their librarian." Encircling the perimeter a few times, Artemis decided that the tree posed no threat of collapsing inwards and knocked firmly on the door with his hoof. Was that...whispering he heard? Why had it suddenly quieted when he approached?
The door opened slowly, and a small purple dragon poked his head out the door. "Who are you supposed to be?" He seemed slightly defensive, as many ponies (and creatures) do after seeing Artemis for the first time. After all, Artemis could appear quite imposing when he wanted to be.
Artemis recoiled backwards in shock. "Yo-you're Twilight Sparkle!? But you're a dragon!" His mind overrode his common senses and starting going off on a new line of thinking that involved the Elements of Harmony being able to be harnessed by non-ponies as well as ponies before he heard a snicker.
"You must be new around here, huh? I'm Spike, Twilight's number one assistant!" Poking a thumb at himself, he smiled widely. "Yep, that's me! What can I do for you?"
Slowly getting over the fact that Twilight Sparkle was not, in fact, a dragon, Artemis composed himself. "Ah, erhm. I've been sent here by Princess Celestia to 'vacation' and she arranged to have me stay here at the library. Is Ms. Sparkle at home? I'm to give her this letter of recommendation from the Princess to prove my credentials." Magic-ing the letter from his saddlebags, he swiftly passed it over to Spike, who raised his eyes while he read it.
"Uhuh. Uhuh. Yeah. Twilight heard from the princess that a visitor might be staying. Alright, follow me! Twilight's busy studying right now, so I'll get you to the guest bedroom." Gesturing grandly, Spike allowed Artemis to enter the library.
The main room of the library was dim, lit only by a few sparse candles that dotted the room. On of those candles was currently in use by a purple unicorn mare who was completely absorbed by her studies. Upon hearing others enter the room, she looked up from her tome and smiled. "Hi, Artemis! My name is Twilight Sparkle. The Princess has told me so much about you! Like how you help her with her documents, how you single-hoofedly reorganized the entire Canterlot Library and nearly did the same with the Archives, and how you've researched time mani-" Her voice had become increasingly excited as she continued, but stopped short when Artemis raised his hoof.
"I've no idea what the Princess has told you about me, but I'm sure it can wait until morning. I'm rather tired at the moment and would like to be getting to bed." He made a fake yawn to support the pretense of being exhausted, even though his mind was still as sharp as it had been at midday. Artemis had tried to mask his displeasure at being held up out of consideration for his host, but knew that he had failed when Twilight's ears wilted.
"Oh...alright. Spike can show you to your room, then. I've still some studying left to do before I sleep anyways. Good night, Artemis," Twilight said deflatedly. It was as if all the energy she had been using before had suddenly escaped from her like air from a popped balloon, leaving behind a husk of herself.
"Good night, Ms. Sparkle. Best of luck on your studies, then." Artemis turned to follow Spike to the guest room.
I suppose my accommodations aren't too miserable. There's a bed and a bookshelf filled with books that I've read before but wouldn't mind leafing through again. Curious choice of decorations, however. I'm not quite sure how I feel about staying with Ms. Sparkle during this whole affair. I actually felt quite guilty when I saw her quickly become discouraged, although I'm not sure why I should feel so. After all, this is how I've lived for the past couple years - by rebuffing the friendships of other ponies. Still, from what I've heard, she is a like-minded intellectual such as I. Perhaps it would make an amusing diversion to converse with her. Perhaps I could talk to her of my hypothesis that I've formulated after reading the first two volumes of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation."
Feh, who am I kidding. If I haven't met a pony who could be my match for intellectual conversation for the past ten years, I even less likely to find Ms. Sparkle to be appropriate, student of Princess Celestia or not.
Well, I'm off to bed. Perhaps when I wake up tomorrow, I could scout the nearest cafe that serves coffee and drink a brew before anypony else sees me. It would do me no good to have everypony purposely avoiding me.
Or would it? A titillating hypothesis to test out for another time. Adieu.
- Artemis, Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives
Finally, a day where I don't have that oppressive sod breathing down my neck! I know that I act happy all the time, but happiness does not equate to stupidity (although in his mind he seems to think so). I try so hard to get along with him since we're stuck in this together, but he rebuffs my every extended palm leaf and even spits on it sometimes.
What'd I ever do to get stuck in this situation?
Anyhow, when I had heard that Artemis was being forced away for a vacation on the pretense of "over-working" himself, I could hardly contain my joy! Don't get me wrong, I've hung around him long enough to not really be affected by his demeanor, but a stallion like me can hardly live like this all the time, can I? I'm a social pony! I like to be at parties and chasing the mares, trying to impress them with my fancy title of "Secretary of the Chief Archivist" although most of them don't really dig the ponies of my profession.
Figures, I thought. You grow up as a total stud when you're a colt, and then BAM. Get a scroll for a cutie mark and suddenly you're an egghead. I manage to work around it, however. I mean, there's pretty much no mare in Canterlot who can resist my charms except for the Princesses. Not that I ever try anything funny with the ones who are too young for me or currently devoted to another. Hey, even a guy like me has standards.
Well, back to the present. With Artemis gone, I was free to relax and socialize as much as I wanted for a week. It had been too long, with social breaks scarce under the whip of the master (he held it in the utmost belief that partying turned one's brains to mush).
Of course I still had my job to take care of, but Artemis didn't expect anything from me any ways. I half imagined leaving the Starswirl the Bearded wing as it was and seeing him kiss the ground when he saw that it wasn't destroyed. Or burned. Or in some other unfortunate state that he probably would have blamed on me. It's not even fair, I carry a candle through the Archives for ONE NIGHT just to see my way around, and an entire wing gets burned to ashes. Thankfully, the Princesses managed to do a living recollection spell that recreated the wing exactly from memory, although we still find books here and there that have completely empty pages from where the Princesses didn't manage to remember enough. But that's a story for another time.
The very first thing I did when I saw Artemis' chariot disappear over the horizon was break out a celebratory cup of coffee. As much as the stallion and I didn't get along, I had picked up his habit of drinking the potent brew (while he complained that I wasn't getting the full experience with my 'light' grind of beans). However, I found it positively disgusting that he drank his with a generous dollop of wild honey. I'd tried the mixture once when he wasn't looking, curious of the taste, and nearly gagged. That was the last time I ever tried to mix two foods together that obviously didn't work out.
Eventually, my cup ran dry. Contemplating on making another cup, I decided that another would not be good for my nerves and decided to head out towards the city to try and find a diversion to partake in. After all, this IS Canterlot, one of the greatest cities in the whole of Equestria. How could one possibly grow bored?
Dusty Scroll sighed, resting his weight against the wall of a toy store. He'd forgotten that Canterlot was a city that was geared towards the upper class, with diversions such as golf, croquet, and other such genteel activities. "Darn it, Artemis. You've kept me cooped up in the castle for so darn long I'd completely forgotten how boring this city is for me. I should have taken a job offer in Manehattan or Fillydelphia," he said, his eyes filled supreme boredom as he gazed upon the passerby.
With nothing else to do, he'd resorted to one of his favorite pastimes: picking up the ladies. He only needed to find an appropriate target. "Oh wow," he breathed to himself.
Target acquired. Walking down the street was quite possibly one of the hottest mares he'd ever laid eyes on. With a perfectly styled purple mane and a pure white coat, she drew the attention of just about every other single stallion who walked by her. She even seemed to relish in it, although he noticed that she politely rebuffed any offers to a cup of coffee or invitations to garden parties. "I follow my eyes, and my eyes like what they see." Whipping his hair back and checking his reflection in a nearby store window, Dusty confidently walked up to the white-coated mare. As he got closer, he noticed that three diamonds adorned her flank. "Hello, there!"
She turned to face him, and he almost melted under her gaze. "How can she be so perfectly beautiful? I've got to find out more about her," he thought to himself, hoping that his coat hadn't visibly blushed darker. "Hello. I don't believe I know you, nor that you know me."
"The name's Scroll. Dusty Scroll. I was just strolling down the street when I couldn't help but notice your immaculate beauty." Winking flirtatiously, Dusty poured all of his powers of marechasing into this. There was no way in Tartarus that he'd let a mare like her get away!
"Why, thank you for the compliment sir. I am called Rarity." Raising a hoof to bounce her mane, she stared at him through lidded eyes. "Yes, I suppose I do look rather marvelous today." She graced him with a smile, and Dusty felt his temperature rise.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Romeo. She's not yours yet." He mentally scolded himself. It was a principal rule of marechasers to not become too attracted to their targets in the case that their advances are rebuffed (which happened all too frequently, unfortunately), but he just couldn't help himself. This mare had charmed him much more than he'd like to admit. "Well, I was just wondering if such a beautiful mare as yourself would be willing to catch a drink with me. They say that drinking tea is ultimately more enjoyable with two ponies rather than just one."
She let her smile fall a little bit. "Thank you for the gesture," she replied, "but I'm actually busy at the moment. Today is the opening of my new clothing line, 'Full Spectrum Fashion', and Hoity Toity will be there to see it!" She squeed. "I simply must be there on time or I'll lose the biggest contract of my career." Rarity noticed that Dusty looked considerably crestfallen after her rebuttal, and she relented a bit. "Tell you what, why don't you visit me tomorrow and we can lunch together? I'm staying at one of the royal suites during my time here in Canterlot." She flashed him one of her more bedazzling smiles.
Now sure that he was blushing violently, Dusty Scroll nodded violently. "That would be just perfect. I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"But of course, darling. Now I really must get going. Ciao!" With a small wave of her hoof, Rarity quickly trotted down the street while Dusty simply stared after her.
"A lunch date with the perfect pony. I think I'm in love." He sighed happily. Far be it from him to believe himself every time he was smitten, but this time felt different. This time, something felt real.
Just like every other single time where it felt real. Shaking his head as if to dislodge this unappetizing thought, Dusty Scroll quickly galloped back to the castle and headed straight to the archives. Perhaps he'd tidy up around the "Starswirl the Bearded" wing after all.
I can't believe my luck! I actually managed to procure a lunch date with the love goddess I know as Rarity. This has to be the best day of my life. Artemis gone for a week so I can pursue my romantic ambitions freely, and that ambition had actually agreed to lunch with me. I hope we manage to hit things off before Artemis comes back though.
He can be such a downer sometimes when I mention special someponies.
How could this have even happened? She's an impossibility to all the known laws of physics, quantum mechanics, and perhaps the known universe! She could even be staring at me know, and I'd never know because she can break the Fourth wall at will.
I mustn't let her get to me. The mind is a stallion's last sanctuary, and I won't allow this- this anomaly defile it all willy nilly! She's an enemy to all logic and every fiber of my being rejects her! If knowledge and intellect are my purpose, what, then, is hers? Partying and making foolery of all the laws set forth by our sovereign deities!? Utterly preposterous! If this is a joke, Celestia, then it is a cruel one indeed. Setting me up to "relax" when the antithesis of my existence lives just down the lane where I temporarily reside.
Artemis groaned and tossed in his bed, plagued by more nightmares that had been induced by the lack of coffee in his system. Ever since he'd arrived, he'd become increasingly sour as the last dregs of caffeine he'd been running on finally petered out. Now, his system made up for it by taunting him in his sleep, creating fantastic hallucinations of coffee mugs that grew legs and quickly ran whenever he approached or of jumping coffee beans that were always just out of reach. Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, he'd been confronted by King Coffee Cake. Sixteen tiers of lovely, delicious, and caffeinated goodness was too much for him to resist, and he immediately pounced upon the king.
He had managed to subdue the King under his hooves and prepare for the first triumphant bite when something tugged on the corner of his subconscious. He tried to ignore it and proceed with eating his prey, but the tugging only grew stronger as it yanked him off the King. Sobbing at his loss, he suddenly felt the sensation of losing all sense of gravity and only moments before hitting the floor realized that he'd fallen out of bed.
"Argh!" Artemis rubbed his head and aching side, scowling. He'd been this close to nabbing some of the caffeine he had desperately needed, real or not, and brooded glumly over this fact until he caught the very familiar whiff of a pungent aroma penetrating the room. Getting up to follow his nose, Artemis made his way out of his room towards the source of the scent and realized what had tugged his mind out of his dream.
Coffee. Glorious, wondrous, ridiculously addicting coffee. He deeply breathed in more of the life-giving aroma. It was the scent of Saddle Arabian beans, a brew that he himself would so often make every morning back in Canterlot. He raised his eyebrows so high that they might have hit the ceiling were they not attached to his face. "Now then, perhaps this week shan't end so badly after all. Any pony who appreciates a fine brew of coffee can't be all that bad," he thought sagely to himself. Barely able to contain his excitement, he nonchalantly entered the kitchen where he saw Twilight Sparkle appearing to be half-dead while her dragon assistant - Spike, was it? - hurriedly finished the pot of coffee he had prepared alongside a very generous bowl of clovers and oats. Taking care not to spill any of the precious liquid on himself, Spike quickly maneuvered his way to the table and poured a cup of Joe before passing it to Twilight, who weakly gripped it with her magic. Satisfied that he'd done his job properly, Spike turned to retrieve the bowl of clover when he had noticed Artemis standing at the edge of the kitchen. "Oh, hello Mister! What would you like to eat for breakfast? We've got fresh apples, clover and oats, regular oats, wheat oats, muffins..." Spike trailed off as he noticed that Artemis seemed to be in a trance.
"Hello? Earth to Artemis?" He snapped his fingers, suddenly shaking Artemis back into reality.
"Ah. A bowl of regular oats would be fantastic, thank you. Although, I'm not really that hungry at the moment..." Artemis stared back and forth between Spike and the coffee pot he still held in his claws before finally staring intently at the coffee pot.
"Not hungry? You're just as weird as Twilight sometimes!" Spike, being oblivious to Artemis' obvious signals, completely brushed aside the subject of coffee. "She just pulled an all-nighter reading about Starswirl the Bearded's amniomorphic spell and now she's just a zombie pony!" Spike giggled a little before his face was stricken with worry. "There's no such thing as zombie ponies, right?"
"I beg your pardon?" Artemis had, of course, been drowning out Spike the entire time. That tantalizing pot had all of his attention, and he wasn't about to just let the subject of coffee drop unnoticed. "Where ever did you get such a silly notion stuck in your head. My word! Perhaps, young dragon, it would make better use of your time to indulge in the Science shelf of this library rather than the fiction section." Shaking his head at Spike's naivety, Artemis couldn't wait any longer. Allowing his horn to suddenly flare up with magic, he forcibly removed the pot from Spike's claws.
"Hey!" Spike was offended. He had never met anypony rude enough to take things from him without asking. However, this offense turned to curiosity as he watched how Artemis regarded the pot.
Treating it gingerly as if it were the Holy Grail, Artemis reverently poured coffee into his own mug he'd carried with him from Canterlot. The sight of the brown liquid flowing into his mug filled him with joy. After filling his mug to it's extent, he grabbed a jar of wild honey from the middle of the table and applied a generous dollop to his brew. He took a long, well deserved sip. "Ahhhhhhhhh. Glorious coffee, how did I ever live without you?" All of his worries melted away from him, the newfound caffeine now surging through his system by storm in a way only Saddle Arabian beans could. He almost felt the need to be amiable before remembering where he was.
"My apologies, young dragon. I haven't had a good cup of coffee in days and I simply couldn't resist any longer while you were waving around in front of me," Artemis explained, not having the slightest bit of regret in his voice. It was quite obvious that he was satisfied by his somewhat rude action, for it had procured him coffee and coffee was good. Spike, however, failed to catch this and simply accepted the apology at face value.
"Well, I guess it's ok. I was going to offer you a cup, but you've already served yourself so it saves me the trouble of having to do it!" Spike grinned. "Can you hold on for a minute? I've got to help Twilight revive herself." Returning to Twilight's side of the table, Spike grabbed the steaming mug and waved his claw over the concoction, making sure that the aroma wafted towards Twilight's nose. Coming awake with a start, Twilight stared in shock at her surroundings. "Huh!? Wha!? Where am I!?" Her initial sense of panic quickly faded as her surroundings became less blurred. "Oh, its just you, Spike. Thanks." She gratefull accepted the mug from his claws, magically bringing it up to her mouth for a sip before noticing Artemis and nearly jumping out of her seat. "Ahh!"
Artemis' eyebrows raised. "Am I that unpleasant a sight to wake up to, Ms. Sparkle?" His tone made it clear that he hadn't taken this reaction favorably, although one could possibly glean the sort of sadistic pleasure that Artemis took in hounding the ponies around him from his expression. He felt a small sense of satisfaction as she continued to squirm under his scrutiny, her mind still muddled by her exhaustion.
"Ah, no, not at all! I mean, not that I like seeing you as soon as I wake up!" Twilight's face flushed. She was deeply embarrassed by this situation and silently prayed to Celestia that it would all end soon. "I mean... I was just surprised to see you?" She rejoined weakly.
Rolling his eyes, Artemis took a seat at the table directly across from her. "I was merely joking, Ms. Sparkle."
"Oh," she squeaked in a very small voice. This induced another wave of eye rolling from Artemis.
Spike re-appeared with a bowl of oats. "Here you go, Mister!" With Artemis' attention temporarily diverted away from her, Twilight allowed herself a sigh of relief. To say that she was nervous would be an understatement, because she was in the presence of the great Artemis, Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives and a legend to all learned ponies. Supposedly, he had mastered university level subjects when he was twelve years old and skipped gradeschool entirely for college where he had bamboozled all of his professors with his insightful questions on the subjects they taught. She also heard rumors of him being a dimension traveller, and that he was actually a being from another parallel universe that mirrored the one they were in right now. And then there were more questionable rumors of him being the direct descendant of Starswirl the Bearded, who had been living for the past couple hundred years after mastering an immortality spell to continue his existence into the infinite horizon. Shaking her head from these unsavory thoughts, she decided to turn her attention to the bowl that sat in front of her and realized that she was starving. Twilight eagerly plunged into her meal, relishing in the sweet crispness of the clover with the crunchy sensation of the oats. "Spike, this is excellent as usual. Great job, my number one assistant," Twilight said, smiling at Spike as he munched on some emeralds. While Twilight was knowledgeable in many a subject, the kitchen was one domain where she could never be competent. She thanked Celestia that Spike knew how to cook and was in fact an excellent one at that. "I don't know what I could ever do without you."
Spike blushed at the praise. "Shucks Twilight. You're embarrassing me!" he said, wriggling uncomfortably in his seat while staring at his toes. This reaction only elicited giggles from Twilight.
"Aww Spike, you're so adorable sometimes!" she continued giggling while Spike's blush only grew deeper and more noticeable. In her state of bubbliness, Twilight had completely forgotten the presence of her house guest until he cleared his throat.
"Do I simply place the dishes in the sink, Ms. Sparkle?" Artemis' face was neutral, not betraying the fact that he felt slightly sickened at this whole "happy-go-lucky" breakfast setting and wished to extricate himself as quickly as possible. After all, he felt entirely too sane after drinking his coffee and eating his oats to stay here and watch Twilight chat with her assistant. He had much more important things to do, like finishing that "Treatise on Planar Manipulation" if he would just get the damned chance to.
"Ah, let me take care of those for you, Mister!" Spike quickly got up to take the dishes from Artemis, who handed them off easily. Unaware of the effect his reputation had on Twilight, or even the fact that he HAD a reputation, Artemis slowly got up to leave before a thought took hold of his mind. "Thank you for the coffee. It was quite enjoyable, and I find it heartening to see another pony who enjoys a good brew." Throwing a sort of half smile towards her, he walked towards his guest room and silently shut the door. Twilight only stared after him in a sort of confusion.
"What was that all about, Spike?"
"I dunno, but that guy really loves his coffee. He almost reminds me of you, Twilight. Except, you know. Not as serious. Or scary. Or rude. Or sarcastic. or..." Spike took in more breath to continue his list of differences.
Twilight raised a hoof. "I get the message, Spike." She frowned. "How old is that guy anyways?"
"Well, according to the letter from Princess Celestia, he's 21. The same age as you, Twilight!"
"What!? But he's so- so serious! Not to mention unsociable." Twilight was instantly curious about his past. How was he raised to be so short with other ponies who only wished to be friendly with him? Now that she thought about it, nopony had ever discovered the past of Artemis before in all the articles and books she's read. "I wonder what he could be hiding..." Twilight thought over this line of questioning for a grand total of two seconds before remembering that she was supposed to be getting somewhere. "Oh my gosh, Pinkie Pies 'Two weeks since the last party" Party! I'm going to be late! Spike, take care of the library while I'm gone!" Twilight rushed out the main door, a blurr of lavender that weaved through the early morning crowds of the Ponyville market street.
----
Artemis sighed, glancing at the clock. It was 10:00 AM. He let out a grunt of frustration before returning to the problem he'd been working on for the past three hours since breakfast. "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation" lay open on his right. On his left, a parchment half covered in complex calculations that had suddenly stopped midway through as he pondered to think. Scowling, Artemis wracked his brains for what he wanted: an answer to this problem that had intrigued him as soon as he'd read about it. Artemis had just finished a fascinating section on changing particles when a thought occurred to him. "What if you can change the structure of the particles themselves in order to naturally create a new plane, rather than impressing your will upon it to change it from the outside?" Struck by curiosity, he had begun a wild series of calculations to estimate the amount of power needed to accomplish such a feat. This, of course, was the root of his problem:as certain subatomic particles are so minute as to be considered non-existent, even a skilled unicorn wouldn't be able to tell the difference between each and thus fail to restructure the particle from inside out. No matter how much power he poured into one side of the equation, it always ended up down a sink due to the fact that there was no way of being able to detect and organize neutrons and protons, much less quarks and superquarks.
Massaging his temple between his hooves, he let out a low groan. "And to think I ridiculed the theories of Starswirl, whom I considered too adroit to resort to such a solution as forcing his will over the particles. Re-arranging them from the inside is downright impossible!" Crumpling the half-covered parchment between his hooves, Artemis threw it into a nearby waste basket before letting loose another sigh. He hadn't realized that his hooves were sweating from concentration until he wiped one against his head.
"Blast. Now I'm too worked up to continue reading." Standing up on his seat, he cracked a few bones on his back and neck, shaking himself loose of the lethargy that had slowly crept upon him the past couple hours. "Might as well take a walk."
Standing out in the sunshine with a cool breeze blowing did little to help his temperment, as he soon discovered. Eying the various market stalls as he passed by, Artemis came across an orange mare running an apple cart.
"Git yer fresh apples here! 15 bits a bushel! Bes' apples around!" Wearing a worn Stetson and a cheery grin, the mare happily pitched her wares to any near passerby who would listen. "If they ain't, Ah'll eat mah hat!"
"Oh Celestia, it's one of those country bumpkins through and through," Artemis though to himself. "She's even got the twang and everything. I'd best be avoiding her then." That's what he would have done, anyways, if a small yellow filly with a red mane didn't bump into him and spill the bushel of apple's she'd been carrying. Slightly surprised, he saw that this one didn't have a cutie mark on her flank and pondered as to why that might be so.
"Oops! Sorry, mister! Ah didn't quite see ya there!" Staring at the red delicious apples that now littered the market street road, she wilted. "Applejack's not gonna like this..."
"Shoot, what's goin on over here?" The orange mare, assumedly Applejack, walked over. "Did she give you any trouble, mister? You alright, Applebloom?"
"Ahm fine, sis. Just couldn't see where ah was goin' with all them apples in front o' me."
Artemis cleared his voice. "I'm quite alright, thank you very much. It's of no bother to me." "Actually," he thought to himself, "it is of great bother to me, but I must make it a point to keep the conversation as short as possible."
"Well, I'd best be on my way then," Artemis said, starting to continue his route down the road before being confronted by Applejack.
"Ain'tcha gonna help us pick up all them apples?" The mare's voice seemed slightly accusing , as if she'd expected him to offer his help.
Artemis was taken aback. "I beg your pardon?"
"Ah asked if you was going to help us pick up all them red delicious apples. You know, whip up some of them unicorn magics? It'd be might helpful of ya."
Sighing inwardly, Artemis muttered a spell that instantly transported all the spilled apples into their former bushel. "Now, I really must be on my wa-"
Applejack started shaking his hoof vigorously. "Thank ya kindly, sir. Ah'm Applejack, one o' the most honest hardworkin' ponies you'll ever meet. What's your name?" She smiled winningly at him, her friendliness spilling out of her naturally.
Artemis didn't quite answer back, his skull being rattled around by the force of her good nature. "You alright? You're lookin' as pale as a ghost right about now." She stepped back to appraise him further, thankfully stopping the relentless hoofshake so that he could recover.
"I'm Artemis. Nice to meet you, Ms. Apple." Now that his world stopped spinning, Artemis struggled to keep his face especially neutral.
"You from around here, Artemis?"
"Actually, I live in Canterlot working directly under the Princesses. I'm the Chief Scholar at the Archives."
"Really? Well shoot, my friend Twilight's Celestia's personal student! Maybe I should introduce the two of you."
"Thank you for the offer, but there is no need. Princess Celestia arranged for me to live in her libarary during my stay here in Ponyville." Checking his watch, Artemis could see that it was almost time for lunch. "Well, it was delightful to meet you, Miss...?"
"Applejack."
"Miss Applejack, but now I really must be on my way. I've got a lot of things to do and I really must hurry or I'll be late." Struggling to walk as slowly as possible so as to not appear to be bolting, he started to move towards a cafe that had caught his eye yesterday. "Good day."
"Later, Artemis! Hey, come on down to Sweet Apple Acres if ya want any apples! We've got the best in town, freshly picked and grown with love!"
"Yes, I'll bet you'd think so," thought Artemis to himself as he stepped into the nearest cafe. "But I won't be caught anywhere near that place if I have anything to say about it. I'd much rather stay amongst my books than idle my time away visiting a farm in some backwater town like this." He smirked at the image of him wearing overalls and a straw hat while plowing the fields as he took his seat and ordered a large iced tea with some hay fries for an appetizer.
----
Twilight looked at the clock. The party at Sugar Cube corner had been going on for at least three hours, and while there were plenty of munchies available, she had hoped to leave and fill her stomach with something slightly more substantial. She glanced around the room. While Pinkie Pie had been ecstatic to see her and the rest of the girls, she quickly became distracted with being a good hostess for the rest of the guests. After all, she DID invite everyone in Ponyville to these things even if a lot of them chose not to partake all the time. Applejack left after an hour to take over the apple cart from Big Mac and Fluttershy left soon after her to take care of the woodland creatures. Rainbow Dash was crashed on the couch, clearly under the influence of a sugar coma. "It must of been all that cake she ate," Twilight thought, giggling to herself. If there was one thing that Rainbow Dash liked more than cider, it was winning. That's why she had eaten until she passed out when Pinkie Pie challenged her to a cake eating contest. "Silly Rainbow, nopony can beat Pinkie when it comes to cakes!" She shook her head, smiling warmly at the thought. Rainbow had put up a valiant effort though, and had actually managed to finish through half the humongous cake that had been set aside for the contest.
Rarity was nowhere to be seen, which confused Twilight until she remembered that Rarity was away to Canterlot to begin the launch of her new line of clothing called "Full Spectrum Fashion", something she had been waiting to unveil ever since she got the idea from Sweetie Belle after Sweetie had decided to organize her work room.
Which left Twilight standing awkwardly in a corner, sipping her fruit punch and staring at all the other ponies having a good time. While she was well-known and familiar to a lot of ponies in Ponyville, she didn't really have a lot of friends outside of her close circle, which made attending social functions that included a lot of ponies she didn't know extremely awkward. She inched her way towards the door, allowing herself a huge sigh of relief when she managed to escape without getting the attention of one Pinkamena Diane Pie. While she appreciated her friend trying to make her feel welcome, Twilight was starting to get bored doing nothing and wanted to get back to her library after a quick lunch break. Walking around to see where she'd like to eat, Twilight spotted Artemis sitting at a nearby cafe sipping iced tea. A half eaten hay-steak occupied a plate on the other end of the table, the area in front of him now occupied by a scroll of parchment. His brow furrowed in concentration, Artemis didn't even notice when Twilight walked to him.
"Hello, Artemis!"
----
He couldn't help himself. The conundrum had continued haunting him until half-way through his hay steak he could hardly take it anymore. Whipping out a spare roll of parchment and a quill, Artemis pushed his plate aside and began furiously scratching out new calculations. "This time will be different," he silently vowed. Deciding that trying to puzzle through the problem using Arcandia's principles of existence would end his work in a complete flop like last time, he instead laid out a basic foundation using older principles left behind by the ponies of the Classical Greek-Equestrian period. While many other intellectuals, himself included, had scoffed at their antiquated ideas of the movement of celestial bodies, perhaps they got particles right on the dot. He had in fact come across a startling breakthrough when he heard his named being called. Snapping out of his reverie, he looked up to into the smiling face of Twilight Sparkle. And stared.
Twilight's smile quickly went in reverse as her salutation went unanswered. Shuffling around nervously under the intensity of his gaze, she spoke softly. "I'm sorry if I interrupted you," she said, offering a weak smile.
Realizing that she had said hello and he'd done nothing but stare, Artemis admonished himself internally. No wonder she had looked so crestfallen! He must appear to be an absolute blackguard in her eyes right now, and let it not be said of the Chief Scholar to be a blackguard! "You aren't interrupting me in particular. I was so engrossed in my work that I hadn't heard you say hello. Hello, Ms. Sparkle." Giving a curt nod with his head, Artemis watched as her face was restored to normalcy.
"Well, I guess I'll be on my way then. You look very busy right now, and I wouldn't want to be a bother."
Artemis, against his better judgement, felt that it would be more socially appropriate to invite her to lunch with him rather than have her leave. "Besides," he thought, "she might be able to offer some valuable insight on the matter at hand. I might be unsociable and blunt to the point of rudeness, but that does not stop me from being a gentleman."
"Have you eaten lunch yet?" Artemis kept his tone of voice in the form of a polite inquiry rather than a grudging one, for while it was part of his ethics to treat mares gently it didn't mean he had to enjoy it.
"Actually, no, I haven't. I was on my way to hunt for a bite to eat when I saw you sitting here and wondered what you were doing,"
"Why don't you lunch with me then? I'll be glad to have somepony keep me company while I work," Artemis said, lying through his teeth while gesturing to the seat across from him.
"Oh, well, uhm. Thanks." Twilight couldn't keep the note of surprise out of her voice. From her early impressions, Artemis wasn't the type of pony to care much for the wellbeing of others, but maybe she'd have to readjust her assesment of him after today. As she took her seat, Artemis called over the waiter to take Twilight's order while insisting that he payed for it. Twilight quickly scanned the menu and settled for a daisy sandwich with a glass of water. Meanwhile, Artemis had returned to his calculations with an intensity that could rival that of an angry bear on a rampage. Twilight almost cringed at the force in which he wrote out number after number in an attempt to figure out whatever he was doing. After his previous reaction to her conversation, however, she felt it wiser to simply remain quiet until he initiated a conversation first if at all. Smiling her thanks to the waitier who brought her food, she dug into her sandwich while observing the strange pony across from her. "Is he really the same age as me? He really looks a lot older... Acts like it too. So cold and aloof from everything as if he wants nothing to do with the rest of us ponies. Does he know the magic of friendship? Maybe he'd warm up if I introduced him to the rest of the girls so that he could make some. After all, he seems like a very lonely pony. I can see it in his eyes." Realizing that she had been staring for too long, Twilight quickly took a small sip of water while suddenly taking interest in everything else in the room but Artemis.
Artemis was completely oblivious to the attention he had recieved from Twilight. Now completely entrenched within his work once again, he soon found that he had reached another dead end. "Damnation. I really thought I'd got it after that brilliant application of theories from Aristotle. Perhaps if I try Pauli's exclusion principle to rule out the possibility of duplicate sub-quarks, it'll help me keep going," Artemis thought to himself. When that ended up to be another dead end, he sighed rather loudly, not realizing that he startled Twilight with the volume of his frustration.
"Are you alright?" Artemis glanced upwards towards Twilight, her face etched with concern. "You've been staring angrily at that paper for a long time, like you just want to rip it apart in shreds."
"Yes, I'm fine, Ms. Sparkle. It's just that it's maddening to feel that you're this much closer to completely revolutionizing planar manipulation-" he said, gesturing with his hooves," only to be stopped by something as infinitismally small as blasted quarks!" Pain spiking in his head once more, he resorted to massaging his temples while glaring at the paper, entertaining the thought of setting it ablaze with magic.
"Planar Manipulation? As in, 'A Treatise of Planar Manipulation' by Starswirl the Bearded?" Twilight said excitedly, her eyes opening wide while a smile broke wide across her face. "I love that book! I'm on the last volume of it right now and I got completely stuck on trying to understand the principles of energy transferrence and partical transmutation."
Artemis was startled. "Why, so am I. It's impressive to find another pony that reads some of Starswirl's more complicated works." "More than that," he thought to himself. It's mind boggling to think that you'd also be stuck on exactly the same conundrum as I am."
Twilight gasped. "We should totally be study buddies! I've always wanted a study buddy but everyone else thinks I'm too smart to study with and they get bored very easily with books and -" She stopped as she noticed Artemis giving her a funny look.
"St-study buddies!?" Artemis blustered, unable to comprehend what he was hearing. "I appreciate the sentiment, Ms. Sparkle, but I don't exactly find the notion of being 'study buddies' all that appealing as you do."
"But it'll be good for both of us! Two minds are better than one to deal with a problem, right?" Twilight pressed on, refusing to back down from him again. Yesterday he'd caught her by surprise with his cold manner, but she wasn't about to let the greatest study opportunity of her life just refuse her like that! How many ponies could say that they've studied with the famous Artemis, after all!
Artemis opened his mouth in an attempt to reject her offer, then shut it just as quickly after quickly conjecturing that she wouldn't allow him to refuse her. Realizing the logic of her statement, he decided that perhaps it won't be so bad since she seemed to certainly be a smarter pony than most he'd tried to converse with previously. After all, his aversion to ponies only came after that incident so many years back...
Forcing himself back into the present, Artemis nodded his assent. "Very well, Ms. Sparkle. If you are so adamant on the issue, it would hardly be right for me to refuse you."
"Yes!" Twilight exclaimed, adopting a favorite expression from Rainbow Dash by pumping her hoof in the air. "Thankyou thankyou thankyou! I'll go back to the library and prepare all the paper and quills we'll need!" She all but ran back towards the library, excitement running through her mind. She finally got a study buddy!
Artemis shook his head and facehoofed. "Why in Celestia's name did I agree to that? Now I'll be forced to put up with her until her enthusiasm for my company finally runs dry. Blast. I'd been looking forward to spending my week in as much solitude as possible, but that doesn't seem realistic anymore after I've bloody gone and agreed to be a 'study buddy'!" Grimacing as he slowly stood up from his seat, he found himself face to face with a bubblegum pink mare with frizzy hair.
"Hiya! You must be the stallion Twilight talked about! Are you her coltfriend!? Because you two would look totally cute with each other!" She bounced up and down in excitement. "And if you two are together, that means you'll get married and have a wedding and everything! Oh, oh, can I plan the wedding? I love planning weddings!" She gave him a wide grin as she waited for him to reply.
Artemis gave her a withering stare. He hated these presumptuous types who simply loved bouncing all over the place with their monstrous excesses of energy. All fun and no brains was what he thought of them. "And who might you be?" he asked, maintaining a hostile expression. He didn't like being paired up with other ponies, much less being presumed to be marrying said ponies he was paired up with. It was just the sort of mindless blather that he strode to avoid by denying anypony of his company.
She seemed to completely ignore this and continue forward. "My name's Pinkie Pie!" After this exclamation, she gasped loudly. "Are you new around here!? I didn't welcome you to Ponyville yet!" Appearing to pull a party cannon out of nowhere, she let loose, confetti and party favors streaming everywhere. "Welcome Welcome Welcome! A fine welcome to you! Welcome Welcome Welcome, I say 'How do you do?'" She continued singing her song, attracting the attention of everypony else in the cafe much to Artemis' supreme displeasure. Hoping that she wouldn't notice, he slowly inched towards the exit before quickly turning around and galloping like all Tartarus was after him. He didn't know who the pink mare was and he certainly didn't want to know. Nothing good could come out of any acquaintance with her.
Slowing down to a trot as he distanced himself from the establishment, he'd nearly jumped out of his skin when Pinkie popped out of his mane. "Wowee! You run really fast for a pony, Mister!"
"Gah! Get out of my mane! Wait, how are you even IN my mane!?" Artemis swiped as his mane, only to see Pinkie Pie suddenly appear in front of him. "My word! You can't just gallivant whereever you please!"
"Sure I can! Watch me!"
Artemis watched as Pinkie Pie performed all sorts of physics breaking shenanigans, his eyes growing wider and wider while his cheeks grew paler and paler. He'd had enough of this nonsense. "This can't possibly be real. I mean, you're practically levitating in midair for Celestia's sake! That breaks more laws of physics than there are hairs on my head!"
Pinkie Pie giggled. "You're really funny, mister. I can't understand why Twilight would think you're a meany-pants even though she still respects you for some book stuff. I should throw a party for you!" Suddenly remembering something very important, she fell back down to the earth with a bounce. "I totally forgot! What's you're name? I need to know so I can make the invitations!"
"Of all the- I do NOT want to go to something as silly as a party, thank you very much! And another thing, how are you even existing!? Nopony should be able to do those kinds of things! Science has proven that they can't!" Artemis felt incredulous and annoyed at the same time. All his live he'd devoted himself to learning how the world worked by studying as many books as he could, and here was a mare who broke all of his convictions in half like a twig!
"Silly filly, of COURSE I exist! Right, readers? I mean, how could I not, I'm standing right here!" Pinkie Pie stared off at a wall right at the audience, drawing a wild look from Artemis.
That was the last straw for Artemis, who was at this point completely bewildered. "Stay away from me!" Artemis ran for the library, only to discover that Pinkie Pie had kept even pace with him while bouncing at a considerably slow rate.
"Hey, wait up! I didn't even catch your name!"
"I don't give my name to scientific impossibilities!" Deciding that he wouldn't be able to outrun her, Artemis quickly did a teleportation spell and ended up in the middle of the librarie's main room, startling Twilight from her preparations.
"Gah! Don't scare me, Artemis!" She exlaimed. She had been in the middle of bringing some parchment to the study table in the room, and now it covered the floor.
"I must conceal myself or that dastardly mare will find me!" Searching wildly around the room, Artemis dove under the table and curled himself up as best he could. Twilight stared on in confusion.
"Uhhhm. What are you doing, Artemis?"
"No time to explain, that mare could be here any second!" Hearing a knock at the door, he curled up even tighter. "Don't tell her I'm here! Tell here I went somewhere else!"
Becoming more confused by the moment, Twilight opened the door to see herself facing Pinkie Pie. "Hi there, Pinkie. Is your party over already?"
"Nahhh, I just saw you leaving and decided to follow you! But then I got distracted by the cutest little bunnies I'd ever seen and when I looked up you were gone! But then I saw this guy that I think you were talking about at the party and I went up to him and gave him a full welcome song and everything but he looked at me all weird and ran away but I found him really quickly and then he got all mad because I came out of his mane and -" gasping for air, Pinkie Pie took in two deep breaths before she continued. "showed him how I high I could bounce and how quietly I could jump into puddles and then he got all stricken looking like he couldn't believe that I could do those things but I was like-"
"Pinkie, slow down! I can't even understand half of what you're saying!" Twilight laughed. Pinkie Pie was just being Pinkie Pie, but she could never fully get used to her over-the-top randomness.
"Oh. My bad, Twilight! Well, I was talking to that guy you told me about and I tried to get him to tell me his name, but he wouldn't tell me! So I tried following him but then he did a teleportation spell , so I didn't know where he was until I thought to myself 'Hey Pinkie, that guy was staying at Twilight's library so he might have teleported there!' so here I am!" Poking her head inside of the library, she looked around for her new friend. "Is he here?"
"Oh Pinkie, I think you scared him a bit!" Twilight smiled, finally recognizing the feeling she'd seen in Artemis' eyes. It was fear of something he didn't understand and something that overwhelmed him so much that he couldn't take it anymore and panicked. "I haven't seen him at all since this morning, so maybe you should check the other places in Ponyville where he might be."
"Hey, that's a good idea Twilight! You're so smart! I'm glad I have such a smart pony for a friend like you!" Pinkie Pie bounced away, humming to herself as she tried to spot where her friend had gone. After all, she still needed to sing him the rest of her song!
----
Artemis emerged from under the desk when he had sufficiently calmed down. He was ashamed of himself for appearing so uncomposed earlier, but Pinkie had ignited a very primal fear deep inside of him after throwing everything he'd ever learned about the sciences back in his face. Shaking his mane to ruffle it out, he noticed Twilight Sparkle's scrutiny from across the room where she sat reading "Sherclop Holmes and the Red Headed League". "Thank you for sending her away. If you'll excuse me..." Artemis allowed his voice to trail off as he moved towards his bedroom, hoping to lose himself in his studies and forget all about the terror he'd experienced.
"Hey."
Artemis turned his head to face Twilight Sparkle, his face contorted in a grimace. "Yes, Ms. Sparkle?"
"Are you alright? You're not looking so good right now..."
"Thank you for your concern, Ms. Sparkle, but it is quite unnecessary. I was simply taken by surprise earlier, nothing more."
"That didn't seem like you were alright."
Blast it, she's intuitive, he thought to himself. There's no reason for me to open up to her. "I assure you that I'm quite alright."
"I think you're lying." Twilight said, sounding hurt. "You looked really afraid earlier, and all I want to do is help you, Artemis."
"Well I don't require it, nor do I request it of you, Ms. Sparkle." Artemis spoke a little more sharply than he had intended, but his nerves were getting frayed on the ends. "Now, if you would excuse me, I would like to retire for the evening." Without giving her another chance to protest, he swiftly entered his room and shut the door behind him, letting out a low sound of relief.
"I really wish I had some coffee right now," he muttered to himself darkly before sitting at his desk to compose another blasted journal for Princess Celestia.
I feel sick, probably because of my run-in with that pink mare.
I'm going to go insane if I have to take this for the rest of my vacation. It's only five in the afternoon and I'm shutting myself away in my room. Granted, this was my usual routine back in Canterlot, but to be forced into this position is not too pleasant of an experience for me.
Twilight tried to check up on me a couple times in the past hour or so. She seems genuinely concerned for my wellbeing, although I can't imagine why. I had imagined that my sarcastic nature would cause her to stay away, much like every other pony back at home.
I know that I've been sending you letters on the magic of Friendship for the past year, but today I have a friendship problem that I don't know if I can solve. Artemis is a very unsociable pony and there's something about him that makes him feel unapproachable. I tried my best to be friendly with him, but he seems to like it better when he's alone. I mean, today he got mixed up with Pinkie Pie and the experienced seemed quite shocking to him. I guess it's because he might live his life alone most of the time, or because his ways are firmly based on logic, but still! If you could have seen the look in his eyes when he 'ported in here, you would feel the same as I am right now when I tried to help him but he refused before storming off into his room. It made me feel more sad than angry, really. How am I supposed to help such a stubborn pony and get him out of his shell? I really want to be friends with him, but I think he considers everypony other than himself an enemy. I will wait for your response.
Your most faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
After scratching out the final lines of my letter, I sighed sadly. "I wonder what happened between him and Pinkie Pie today to make him get so erratic? He seemed so calm and composed yesterday and today, not counting the fact that he was kind of short with me yesterday but I guess that was because he was tired."
From what I could gather from Pinkie Pie's long monologue, she'd followed him around and given him quite a shock by showing him what she could do with physics. I could feel for him because while my reactions were significantly more subdued (Ok, maybe not so subdued), I too had felt that I had the ground yanked out from under me. Being the studious unicorn I was, I had strived to learn everything I could under Celestia's guidance about magic and the world around me, so I guess when I encountered somepony like Pinkie Pie who defied logic my brain fried out. Spike tells me that it was a lot more chaotic that just "my brain frying out", but he's just a baby dragon and he tends to exaggerate things a tad.
Regardless, what I couldn't understand was Artemis' attempt to cover up his discomfort and rebuffing my attempts at trying to help him and make him feel more comfortable. I was so sure that if he would just let me explain, he'd be able to feel more at ease! I guess he's really a recluse like Celestia says though. She explained to me in her letter that Artemis was reluctant to be in any sort of contact with other ponies, but I couldn't believe it until I saw it for myself. There's no doubt about it; I don't think anypony will be able to breach that cold exterior of his.
What I still don't understand is what Celestia meant at the end of her letter: "Try to help him be what he once was." Used to be what? Friendly? Sociable? Actually being able to accept another pony's help? Maybe she means to help him not be so hateful of other ponies. I may not have let on, but I've noticed his body language whenever he's in the presence of me or Spike or any other pony, really. He's tensed up as if he's bracing himself, while every movement emits insincerity and sarcasm.
I'm glad Celestia puts such faith in my abilities, but I'm afraid that for once the magic of friendship won't help me with what I need to do. Not this time.
-Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville Librarian and Element of Magic
It was late at night when Artemis awoke at his table. The room was pitch black, save the few rays of moonlight that filtered through a nearby window. Straightening up in his seat, he quickly realized that he must have fallen asleep while fiddling around with his new theory of planar manipulation. While his mind was now refreshed, his body constantly complained as he stretched in an attempt to ease the aching joints in his body from sleeping uncomfortably for so long.
"I've got to stop doing this before I make a habit out of it," he muttered darkly, reaching out blindly for a candle in order to have some light in the room. Finding no candle within a leg's distance, he repressed a sigh.
"No matter," he thought to himself. "I'll just conjure up some light with my horn and search for a candle outside. Surely, there will be a supply by the study table or the kitchen. I'll make sure to explain to Ms. Sparkle in the morning as to why I borrowed without asking, although I'll hope that she doesn't make too much of a fuss about it. After all, it's harmless if it's just one candle, right?" After reassuring himself that it would be quite within his rights to requisition a candle for his use, Artemis walked in the general direction of the door before smashing his face against it. "Right... light spell." Concentrating for a moment, his horn suddenly lit up with a muted blue glow. Satisfied that he would now be able to see, he opened the door that led to the rest of the library.
The main room was just as dark as his room, save for the light of a solitary candle. Artemis, still groggy from his sleep and dulled without his ritualistic cup of coffee, failed to notice the figure of Twilight Sparkle sitting at her desk until he'd walked right into her.
"Gah!" They both shouted out in surprise, Artemis wheeling backwards until his rump hit the central table and threatened to knock over the horse sculpture while Twilight gave a small jump before quickly whipping her head around. She visibly relaxed when she had seen what - or who- had caused her surprise. "Oh, hello Artemis. You scared me for a second. I wasn't expecting anypony to be up at this time of night."
As soon as his initial shock blew over, Artemis felt suitably chagrined. He cursed himself for not being more alert and avoiding such an awkward situation. Now all he wanted to do was to retreat back into his room, candle or not. "My apologies, Ms. Sparkle. I suppose I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going." Shaking his head to clear his vision, he noticed that Twilight was staring at him. It was rather disconcerting. "Is...something the matter?"
Twilight quickly shook her head. "Oh, no. I was just surprised to see you with bedmane." She smiled and, with a giggle, magic'd over a mirror so he could inspect himself.
Sure enough, his normally styled blue-black mane was completely sticking up on one side as if it had been licked by a giant dog. He sighed. "Well, I look rather silly right now." Taking in his new look rather somberly, he remembered why he was out here in the first place. "I suppose that you wouldn't have an extra candle that I could borrow, would you? I just awoke from my respite and I have a rather disturbing lack of candles. I was planning on getting some studying in while I still felt up for it."
"Oh, sure! Let me just open up my supply of candles," Twilight said, pulling out a long scroll of parchment. Upon closer inspection, Artemis realized it was a checklist of things she needed to do. "Note to self: re-stock guest room with candles." Rolling up the parchment in a flourish, she set it aside while she reached into the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out two long candle sticks. "These should last you for at least tonight. I'll get a restock in tomorrow when the shop opens."
Artemis nodded, not quite paying attention. He was suddenly distracted by the way the light played across Twilight's mane, giving it a soft sheen in the darkness of the room. Did all manes do that? Artemis didn't know. He'd never seen another pony at this time of night, so he didn't have any past experiences to base his thoughts on.
"Artemis."
He shook his head. "Yes, Ms. Sparkle?"
"Are you sure you're alright? I know earlier you said that you were fine, but you just looked really spaced out right now."
"I assure you, I'm fine." Suddenly glancing at the clock, he realized that it was around 1:00 AM. "Although, it might be better for me if I just go back to bed instead."
"Well, alright then. Good night, Artemis." Giving him a tired smile, Twilight turned back to the book that she had been reading before he entered the room. A quick peek over her shoulder revealed to Artemis that she was reading Vol. III of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation". He hummed. Perhaps it might be better to explore his theories with her. If she was of intellectual level to get that far into the treatise, surely she could make a decent partner of conversation unlike other ponies he knew.
"Actually, Ms. Sparkle, would you mind if I studied out here with you?" Artemis was surprised at himself. He'd never felt the need to study with another pony before. Then again, he'd never come across a problem as befuddling as the one that currently confounded him, nor had he come across a pony that might actually be a match for him intellectually.
Twilight ignored him, now completely engrossed with her reading.
"Ms. Sparkle? Are you awake?" Moving to her side, he waved a hoof in front of her face.
Her expression remained intense, completely enthralled by the book in front of her.
Artemis sighed. Deciding that he may as well move out here anyway as there was already a lit candle, he quickly retrieved his scroll and volume of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation" and set it down on the opposite side of the table as Twilight Sparkle. As he sat down to make himself comfortable, he cursed. "I won't be able to concentrate on this without a good cup of coffee."
Moving to the kitchen, he selected a mug from the shelf and found the bag of Saddle Arabian beans. After pouring the grind into the coffee machine, he turned it on and waited for his brew to finish. As an afterthought, he took out a second mug for his host. "There's no harm in sharing the coffee. After all, I doubt even I would be able to finish a whole pot on my own. Not to mention the fact that it isn't my coffee." Coming across this realization guiltily (he held in the utmost respect everypony's claim to their own coffee), he looked back at the table where Twilight still sat. She hadn't moved from the spot except only to flip the pages of her book using her magic. "If I didn't know better, I'd say she reminds me of me. Except she's too friendly and trusting of other ponies. She hasn't experienced the true nature of this world, I'd wager." Noticing that the coffee was now done due to the delicious aroma that wafted past his nose, Artemis reached with his magic to grab the pot and quickly poured copious amounts of the liquid into each mug. After grabbing a nearby tray and placing the cups onto it, Artemis levitated it towards the table and sat down, manipulating one mug towards his seat while setting the other one down near Twilight.
----
Five minutes had passed before Artemis realized that Twilight hadn't taken notice of her coffee. While he normally wouldn't care if somepony was busy with their own ambitions, there was perfectly good coffee on the line and he felt it necessary to take intervening actions lest it go to waste. Remembering what he had seen this morning, he gripped the still steaming mug with his magic and started waving around under her snout in hopes that the bittersweet scent of the coffee might rouse her from her daze.
Sure enough, Twilight immediately reentered the real world and found herself looking at Artemis, an amused expression taking hold of his face. What was odd about this was that this was the first time Twilight had seen him exhibit any things even slightly related to a positive emotion. Most of the time, his face was either a blank canvass of nonchalance or a darkened mass of annoyance. To see him amused was a sight to behold indeed.
"Uhm...how long have you been there?" Trying to keep her tone only lightly inquisitive, Twilight bristled with excitement. This was the perfect opportunity to try and become friends with him!
"Not to worry, Ms. Sparkle. I have no ill intentions at heart towards, certainly not of that nature." Artemis, completely misunderstanding what she had meant by the question, continued on as Twilight blushed at the implication. "I've been here for but five minutes waiting for you to drink your coffee before it got cold."
"Coffee? I don't remember making-" Twilight suddenly took notice of the mug in front of her. It was still filled to the brim with the potent liquid she enjoyed to drink, steam rising from it's warmth.
"I took the liberty of making it. Originally, I was going to make enough coffee for myself to allow me to continue my studies-" he said, gesturing to the work set up he had on his side of the table," until I realized that you might enjoy some as well and made enough for the both of us."
"Oh...thanks." Twilight blushed lightly, slightly touched by the fact that Artemis would be so considerate as to make coffee for her as well as himself. She hadn't thought it possible for him to show that kind of benevolence towards anypony, but the evidence was staring her right in the face. Grabbing the coffee lightly by her magic, she took a small sip. It was surprisingly good, perhaps even better than when Spike made it. Taking in an even larger sip, she allowed her eyes to close in pleasure, fully enjoying the taste of the brew as it rolled over her tongue down her throat into her stomach.
"Not at all, Ms. Sparkle." Satisfied that the coffee would now be enjoyed instead of wasted, Artemis looked back down at his parchment and gazed at his current work thoughtfully. The coffee had yet to complete a circuit through his system and reach his brain, so in the meanwhile he simply stared and allowed his mind to run off on several different unrelated tangents at once. Images rolled around his head of stars conversing with llamas while polar bears ice skated on hockey rinks and all sorts of ridiculous, fantastic nonsense that runs through his head in it's pre-coffee state. He would have gladly frolicked amongst these hallucinations had not Twilight snapped him out of his reverie.
"Are you still working on that theory of yours? It looks fascinating."
"Erhm, yes. I've run into a bit of a snag though when I had to prove the existence of quarks without actually being able to see them."
"Really? But don't you just have to..." Twilight continued on explaining her perspective on the matter, causing Artemis' eyes to widen.
"Why didn't I think of that before? I'm a monumental idiot. Ms. Sparkle, you are a genius!" Hastily grabbing his quill again, he started writing down more numbers and growing excited all the while. He hadn't even talked with her one minute and she was giving him good ideas! This vacation thing might end up better than he thought it would. Furiously scribbling down the final line of his new formula, he suddenly jumped up and moved to the center of the room.
Twilight's eyes followed him curiously. She thought she had been stating common knowledge, but apparently Artemis hadn't thought about it in that way until now. Watching him scratch a magic circle into her floor, her eyes grew wider. She had already known of his intellectual genius, but watching him in action was like seeing the gods mold something into existence. Every rune that dotted the circle was immaculately perfect, the final incantations being inscribed with a flourish. Seizing his coffee mug, Artemis strolled to the center of the circle, allowing his horn to go ablaze with magical energy. Closing his eyes in concentration, he began to intone the necessary spell required to achieve what he wanted to accomplish. Swirls of energy left his horn, fizzing out into the floor as the runes grew brighter. The energy eventually solidified into a fog, consolidating itself into the form of a mug. Suddenly, Artemis' eyes opened alight with a blue aura as he rolled over the final words of the incantation when everything seemed to blow up at once.
It caused quite a deafening bang, the light searing through Twilight's eyes for the slightest moment before everything dropped back to pitch dark as it once was.
Twilight coughed, trying to peer through the mist. She could make out the woozy form of Artemis as he stumbled from his spot, then gasped when she saw what was on the floor.
Two perfectly identical mugs stood side by side, complete replicates of each other down to the amount of coffee they held. She rubbed her eyes, unable to believe what had just happened.
Normally, replication spells were out of reach by normal unicorns, even by ones as potent as Twilight Sparkle, due to the fact that as soon as the replicated matter entered existence it would cause a cancellation reaction as there would be two items composed of exactly the same kinds of mass occupying the same time-stream/dimension space.
However, Artemis somehow managed to cheat Pauli's Principle of Exclusion by not forcing the particles he was transmuting into a replica, but by changing the inner nature of the particles themselves so that they were simply inspired to become almost the same as the item he aimed to copy, but would hold some minute change in their inter-molecular structures that allowed them to be different from the original structure they would be copying. Her mind wrapped around the implications of it all. By abusing that minute change to be as large or small as he wanted, Artemis could potentially replicate living beings like ponies and include a spell that would allow them all to share the same memories yet have the potential to develop into completely different beings. There was also the possibility of including a self-dissipation spell that would cause the copy to fall apart after a set amount of time to avoid having another "Pinkie Pie" incident again. Now being completely surrounded by the possible scenarios, Twilight momentarily forgot about Artemis until he coughed violently, coming back to life.
"Omigosh Artemis! Are you alright?" Twilight galloped over to him just as he managed to shake off the backlash of the spell.
"I'm -ARGH- fine, Ms. Sparkle. I've just developed a splitting headache." Rubbing at his eyes with his hooves, Artemis finally viewed the fruits of his labor. "I can't believe it... It actually worked." Ignoring the protests of his brain, Artemis leaned down to examine the mugs. While it was true that they both looked extremely identical superficially, there was bound to be some sort of change somewhere...
Scanning both mugs with his horn, he finally found the difference. "Aha! One of these mugs is made with a slightly more brittle composite of clay than the other. Absolutely fascinating." He stared at Twilight with as much gratitude that he could muster. "And it wouldn't have been possible if you hadn't inspired me. Thank you." Artemis made a sweeping bow towards the floor, causing Twilight to blush.
"I didn't really do that much..."She allowed her voice to trail off, unused to this side of Artemis.
"But of course you did! You're responsible for one of the most momentous scientific breakthroughs of the century! I can't wait to publish this!" He grinned evilly. "All those buffoons back at the academy will have to respect me more now. Hah! I want to see the looks on their faces when I get famous! Of course, your contribution would be mentioned as well, Ms. Sparkle."
"Well, if you say so." Twilight smiled. Artemis, for all of his precociousness and acerbic nature, had a childlike side to him as well whenever he got excited about something. Which, she noted wryly, appeared to only be about coffee and science.
----
The two of them talked well into the morning, discovering that they had much more in common than they would have expected. Artemis was glad to finally have a companion with whom he could discuss his favorite subjects with, while Twilight was happy to finally have a way of breaking past the walls that Artemis had set up between himself and every other pony he met. She was also encouraged to see how enthusiastically Artemis spoke with her. Compared to his state the other day, he now seemed full of vivacity and life. She could get used to seeing him like this.
Artemis quickly glanced up at the clock. "Oh my. It's already 7:00 AM." He glanced back at Twilight. "I'm terribly sorry for keeping you up all night when you just did so yesterday. I was just so elated to finally be able to discuss these things with somepony that I completely lost track the time."
Twilight nodded, barely able to keep her eyes open. Now that he had pointed out the time, the full weight of her exhaustion had crashed down upon her in full strength. All the coffee cups in the world would be able to revive her once she fell asleep. "It's -yawn- alright. I can tell you had a lot of stuff you wanted to get off your mind." Rubbing her eyes, Twilight groaned. Regardless of how amazing it was to converse with a non-bitter Artemis, her body felt like crashing on the spot. Her misery was only compounded by the fact that she now had to carry on an entire day of running the library before being able to catch even the slightest wink of sleep.
Being perceptive as he was, Artemis was clueless when it came to ponies. Despite the fact that Twilight was exhibiting all the signs of somepony who was half dead from lack of sleep, he continued to believe that she was perfectly fine and ready to continue the days work. "Well, I'm glad we had this chat. We should do this again sometime." Giving her a slight smile, he left the library through the main doors for an early morning walk.
Twilight was too tired to appreciate the fact that he'd just smiled at her, and Spike found her dozing where she had stayed the past six hours, her consciousness now beyond the reach of both dragons and ponies alike.
----
Artemis strolled down the street in a considerably lighter mood than yesterday. Already three days through with his "vacation", he was now starting to enjoy himself a little. Who knew that Twilight Sparkle would prove to be a worth companion? "Celestia certainly knows how to pick her protege," he mused. Twilight Sparkle had a mind as sharp as a knife, with knowledge almost as boundless as he. While they fell short on certain subjects (For him it was the magic of friendship while for her it was the finer points of inter-dimensional travel), the conversation had been deep and greatly enjoyable for both parties.
He had been going over Twilight's argument for life beyond this planet until a feeling of dread suddenly overtook him. He felt like he was being watched, and by a presence that he was already familiar with. Slowly turning himself in a 180 degree angle, Artemis found himself facing his worst nemesis.
"Hiya!" said Pinkie.
"Cripes."
----
Rainbow Dash was relaxing on a cloud. Weather patrol had been harder than usual today, since colder winds from up north blew over into Ponyville and created large thunderheads that threatened to let loose an unscheduled downpour. She just finished moving the last cumulonimbus over the Everfree forest with a team of weather pegasi, allowing herself to celebrate a job well done with a congratulatory nap. This wouldn't last very long, as she would soon discover, as she heard a poofing noise and smelled the scent of ozone.
Cracking an eye open lazily, she saw a dark violet unicorn stallion panting as the magical fog generated by his teleportation spell slowly dissipated. She yawned, closing her eye again before her brain completely processed what she saw. There was a unicorn. Standing on a CLOUD. Bolting upwards, she was just in time to start watching the strange stallion start sinking through the cirrus cloud she had been resting on.
"Oh bother, not this again." Artemis muttered, enchanting himself with a quick "Cloud Walking" spell to stop him from sinking further. Realizing that he was not alone, he turned and noticed a cyan-colored mare with a messy rainbow- mane. "Damn it! More ponies up here too! By sweet Celestia, is there no escape?"
"Hey! Who do you think you are, messing up my cloud like this!?" RD was angry. She hadn't even known the stranger for five seconds and he ticked her off with the way he had appraised her with that demeaning look in his eye.
"Your cloud is of little consequence to me, madam. I only wish to escape before that harlequin-" he paused, pricking his ears. Upon hearing the whooshing propeller sound, he blanched. "Bloody Tartarus! She's found me again!" Quickly gathering up the energy required, he phased out of existence via teleportation spell just before Pinkie Pie busted through the clouds he had just been standing on with her hoofcycle helicopter.
"Hiya, Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie waved cheerfully with the one hoof she could spare. "Didya see a unicorn stallion pass by here? He's got a deep violet coat, light purple eyes, and a black mane streaked with blue." She giggled a Pinkie Pie giggle at seemingly nothing. RD was not amused.
"Heck yeah, I saw him! He was bustin' up my cloud for no good reason! Then he looked at me like I was nothing but trash! That guy is totally a jerface." Rainbow pouted. She wasn't used to anypony looking at her with anything other than admiration or respect in their eyes. The fact that this guy hadn't even seemed the slightest bit impressed was a huge slight on her ego.
"Aww Dashie, he's not that mean! He's just a little shy, that's all!"
"Pft, says you! You think EVERYPONY that's new is just a little shy."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's not true! Dashie, you're such a silly filly sometimes." With another one of her characteristic giggles, she looked around and gasped. "Ooh, I see him again! Bye, Dashie!" With that, Pinkie Pie dropped down towards the earth again in her hooficycle leaving behind one very confused and offended Rainbow Dash.
"What in the hay was that all about?" Rainbow thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Must be a Pinkie Pie thing. But that guy didn't have to be like that. Sheesh!" Grumbling to herself, she gracefully flew into the air in search of a new cloud. Her old one just feel the same anymore.
----
Artemis re-emerged into existence by the town square. Panting, he quickly took refuge in a nearby alleyway. "Blasted party pony! How could she possibly catch up to me all the time! I'm not the most athletic of ponies, but it's impossible to have all that repressed energy bottled up inside her!" Taking in more deep gulps of breath, he tried to ignore the splitting pain in his head. After forcing himself to perform a chain of long distance teleportations just after trying out his new manipulation spell, he felt himself hit the rock bottom of his magical reserves. Now, he doubted he could even levitate a small pebble, much less send his entire body through the ethers of existence into a completely new location.
"The only flaw -gasp- with the the teleportation spell -wheeze- is that it can only take you to new locations -gasp- that you've seen," Artemis sputtered out to no one in particular. If he were in Canterlot, he could have teleported himself several times around the city without a problem as the locations he would have ported to were burned into the memory of his matter. In a new location like Ponyville, not only was he forcing his body into an area where it had never been, but he was also limited by the distance he can see. That's why he used his last teleportation to get a bird's eye view of Ponyville before porting off again. It's too bad that he'd only thought of that idea after expending his energy on a half-dozen other teleportation spells that got him virtually nowhere. His body now wracked with exhautions, Artemis brought a hoof to his head as another spike of pain cut through his consciousness. "Blast. I need to replenish my magic as quickly as possible. And quite possibly eat breakfast if I can manage."
Peering out into the main thoroughfare, Artemis watched for any noticeable appearances of the anomaly known as "Pinkie Pie". Satisfied that she had not reached this area yet, he made for the restaurant he had supped at yesterday as he remembered they had many curious items on the menu that he would rather like to try out. As he trotted out into the open, however, he had the strangest premonition that once again he was being watched. Shrugging it off, he continued on his path towards the cafe until somepony poked him in his flank with their hoof.
"What in Celestia's name do you think you're do-AH!" Turning around to redress the culprit, Artemis found himself once again standing face to face with Pinkie Pie.
"Ha ha! Found ya! DoIwinyet DoIwinyet DoIwinyet DoIwinyet DoIwinyet?" She said excitedly, bouncing up and down with each "DoIwinyet" to emphasize her exuberance in finding him.
Summoning up all the concentration he had left, Artemis poured it all into a Stare. Many ponies believed that Stares were reserved only to pegasi, but he had proven that anypony with the mental capacity for it could perform the legendary feat at will with the sufficient amount of practice. While using it consecutively against a target will gradually reduce it's effectiveness over the years, any first-timers experiencing should be frozen stiff in their position. Artemis was extremely loathe to use it against another pony, but he justified it in this case as a matter of self defense. Now fully into Stare-mode, he redirected all of his energies towards Pinkie Pie, who stopped bouncing up and down long enough to see what he was doing.
"Hey, what're you trying to do there, mister?"
She never knew what hit her. Suddenly, the world around her seemed to be moving a lot faster. She tried to lift a hoof to her head and check if she had a fever, but she was frozen on the spot. Desperately trying to break out of her mind prison, she pleaded to the audience beyond the fourth wall for their help.
"Come on guys, please? I need to throw this meanie pants a party!" Pinkie Pie uses the same face she used to convince Flutterguy to sing her song, and the cosmos don't dare refuse her. In a flash of light, Pinkie Pie once again breaks the mechanics of the universe, much to the dismay of one heavily winded unicorn on the verge of unconsciousness.
"Not bloody possible..." Artemis' voice trailed off as he fell to the ground, completely drained. The hubbub suddenly increased around him as ponies worried over whether he was alright or not. Had he been awake, he might have been disgusted by the amount of ponies he was surrounded with. Being as he was, however, he could do nothing as he was dragged onto a wagon and carted off to the Ponyville Hospital, muttering about harlequins and physics while he slept.
----
"Twilight, wake up."
Twilight groaned, not wanting to obey the voice speaking next to her.
"Come on, Twilight, it's time to get up."
Moaning, Twilight threw her hooves over her head. "Leave me alone, Spike..."
"Twilight, we ran out of inkwells!"
Twilight bolted upright. Not having any inkwells could pose to be a serious problem. How could she expect to check, double check, and triple check her checklists without any ink? Her panic, however, was soon laid to rest as she heard snickering from the other end of the room. "Spike! Don't do that!" Twilight protested indignantly. She hated when ponies got her attention that way, it gave her mini-heart attacks whenever it happened.
"Sorry Twilight, it was the only way I could think of to get you awake." Still snicker, Spike continued tidying up around the library.
Allowing her eyes to wander towards a nearby clock, Twilight's mouth hung open in horror. "It's 2 in the afternoon! Oh, Spike, why didn't you wake me up sooner!?" Her mind running on full panic mode, she immediately began thinking up a list of things that she would need to do and how she could squeeze them all in with the time she had left in the day.
"Chillax, Twilight. I got you covered. Between me and Owlowicious here, we've practically finished everything!" Spike took this moment to high five his feathered companion. Although in the beginning he harbored feelings of resentment towards the owl as he feared the avian would take his place as Twilight's number one assistant, those times were passed and they made the best assistants that Twilight could ever ask for.
Twilight visibly relaxed. "Thank Celestia I have you as my number one assistant to take care of things. Thanks Spike."
"Aww, it's not such a big deal. After all, I figured you needed the sleep after staying up talking to Artemis all night." Spike stuck his tongue out. "What WERE you guys talking about anyways? When I was walking down the stairs, all I could catch were some egghead stuff that sounded way too smart for me."
"Oh, Spike, it was just amazing!" Now that Twilight had nothing to worry about, she allowed herself a smile. "Artemis is one of the most learned ponies I've ever met! I've been dying to meet somepony to talk about all sorts of things from orgo-chemistry to all of Starswirl's magic theories! I just can't believe he doesn't open up to anypony. He just has so much knowledge to share!"
"Uhuh, good for you Twilight. Anyways, where did he go? He hasn't come back since he left seven hours ago."
"He's probably just walking around Ponyville again. He was telling me about how much he liked going out for leisurely strolls. It helps him feel at ease."
"Actually, he's in the hospital right now!" Pinkie Pie popped out of Twilight's mane, giving her another heart-stopping fright.
"Gah! Pinkie! Wait, did you say hospital?" Twilight's eyes suddenly filled with worry. Maybe that spell he did in the morning drained more magical power then he let on and he collapsed!
"Yeah! I was trying to be friends with him again but he just kept running away and teleporting until he caught me under a Stare at the town square but I broke free of it! Then he collapsed and we had to get an emergency cart bring him to the hospital, but they say he's stab- WAIT UP TWILIGHT!"
After retrieving her scarf, Twilight galloped out of the library. While she was still too tired to teleport to the hospital right away, she ran as fast as she could. She couldn't really understand why she was so concerned, but her heart was beating loudly in her chest as she headed towards the hospital where Artemis would be laying in whatever state. "He's just a friend, right? That must be why I'm so worried about him."
----
Artemis awoke with a start, groggily trying to view his surroundings. As far as he could tell, he was lying down in some hospital bed wearing one of those impossibly thin gowns that did nothing to keep away the cold. Shivering, he tried to pull his covers up via magic when he felt something obstructing it's path.
He found Twilight resting her head against the covers, snoring softly. Looking at her in confusion, he stared at the clock. It was 7 PM.
"I've been out for 12 hours? Oh Celestia." Artemis shook his head and sighed. All that time he could have spent discussing science with his companion, wasted down the drain. What he still couldn't explain to himself, however, is why she was here and currently sleeping at his bedside. Normally he would be sickened, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to actually be angry at her for being so close to him.
Moving his hoof to wake her, Artemis stopped when he saw her face. Even in sleep, it was etched with concern and compassion. It must have been by pure coincidence that she murmured his name at that exact moment, brow furrowed with worry.
"My lord," he said softly to himself. "She actually does care about me... and all I've done is try to push her away." At this realization, his heart warmed up. It had been a long time since he had ever come across somepony who genuinely cared. It was a rare thing to find a pony with a kind heart, but Twilight Sparkle was more than that. She was compassionate, understanding, and intelligent. Just the sort of pony he could imagine himself being friends with.
Friend.
"Twilight Sparkle is my friend," he murmured softly. Once again, he raised his hoof to shake her awake until she arose of her own volition, moving a hoof to her mouth to stifle a yawn.
"Hello, Twilight." Artemis gave her a smile full of warmth that truly reflected what he felt inside towards this lavender mare.
"Artemis! Are you alright? The doctor said you completely used up all of your magic! Why did you do something like that? You could have gotten hurt!"
"I'm quite alright, Twilight. But thank you for caring. I'm sorry for worrying you."
She sighed. "Well, as long as you're fine, I guess it's ok..." A stray thought caught her mind, fleeting yet incredibly important. Artemis has just called her Twilight instead of Ms. Sparkle. What's more, he smiled at her.
Before she could question him about it, however, Dr. Bifocals walked in. "Ah, the patient is awake, I see!" Taking out a medical chart, Dr. Bifocals scratched down some observations before approaching the bed. "Mr. Artemis, you were in a grave state indeed. Had your special somepony here not provided you with more magic to fill your tanks, you could have suffered some serious brain damage."
Twilight's face was flushed with embarrassment. "Dr. Bifocals, I already told you he's not my special somepony! He's just a friend."
"That's quite right, Doctor. Twilight Sparkle is not my special somepony." Artemis said, assuming as stern a face as possible.
The doctor paled under his scrutiny. "Ah, erhm, I'm uh...sorry? Anyways, you're free to go. Usually we'd keep you in bed until you had about three-quarters of your magic back, but this young mare here has filled you back up to the brim!"
"I see. Thank you, Dr. Bifocals."
"But of course. Just make sure not to overspend yourself next time! You may not be so lucky." With that comment, Dr. Bifocals left the room to care for other patients. Artemis swung his hooves out of bed and stood on his own, testing his limbs to make sure everything was functional. He gave a long sideways glance at Twilight. "Why did you give me your magical energy?"
Twilight, still embarrassed by Dr. Bifocal's earlier comment, turned a deeper shade of red and stared at the floor. "Well...that's what friends are for, aren't they? They help each other." She looked up to him and smiled.
"You didn't have to trouble yourself over me... but thank you." Artemis gave her another warm, enduring smile. "You're the first pony in years that I can call friend." Smiling wider as he saw Twilight's face flush with pleasure, he walked out the door followed by his newfound companion.
Alright, so remember how two days ago I was talking about my date with the loveliest creature this side of Equestria?
Yeah, yesterday it didn't turn out quite as well as I hoped it would. Well, I know I left her hanging at that cafe but still! It got really awkward really quickly and I don't think I can do anything to fix this.
Dusty Scrolls was excited. After waking up at six in the morning, he'd spent the next five hours thoroughly washing and preening his coat while making sure his mane was combed and styled to perfection. He'd even sprayed some "Eau de Toilette" to give his coat a fresh scent while making sure everything down to his hooves were free of the dust and dirt of his occupation. Once again, he thanked Celestia that today was a rare day off that he'd allowed himself. After all, he'd finished organizing the "Starswirl the Bearded" wing ahead of schedule, giving him time to relax and enjoy the day. Now, rummaging through his closet, he managed to find a clean suit that he could wear. Now if only he remembered how to put it on.
Struggling to get his legs through the sleeves, he sighed. "Darn unicorns and their fancy horns that allow them to just magic their clothes on." Remembering that his boss was, in fact, a unicorn did nothing to help his temperament, and he scowled. Growing increasingly careful so as to not tear a hole, Dusty finally managed to get his suit on in once piece.
Passing by a nearby mirror, he winked at himself. "You hot stud, you. Time to go get 'em." He confidently walked down the castle hallway, making only a single stop to pick up a bouquet of flowers he'd requested yesterday from the royal gardener. Growing more animated with each step, he was practically skipping up the stairs that lead to the guest suite where his date would be staying. Standing in front of the door to compose himself, he knocked.
And waited. And waited and waited and waited. When five minutes had passed, he decided to knock again before the door opened by itself. Peering inside, he found the suite in a state of organized chaos. Linens littered the room in barely recognizable piles, while the table was covered in bold new patterns obviously meant for Rarity's new clothing line.
Dusty Scroll suppressed a sigh. He'd really thought he'd scored this time, but apparently his "date" was just fooling with him. Turning tail to head back down the stairs, he bumped into somepony holding bags upon bags of cloths.
"Oh, I'm ever so sorry, whoever I bumped into, but would you be a dear and hold the door open?" Rarity poked her head around her large load. "Oh, it's you Mr. Scroll! To what may I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
"I, uh. We had made plans to lunch together?" Dusty was confused. She seemed to remember him well enough, but could she have simply forgotten about their plans together?
"Oh, that! Please, do come inside! I'm getting rather tired holding up all these bags."
"Allow me, Ms. Rarity." Taking as many bags as he could onto his back, Dusty moved into the room and deposited them neatly by the bed.
"Thank you ever so much for your help, Mr. Scroll." Rarity fluttered her eyebrows at him, causing him to blush.
"It was my pleasure, Ms. Rarity. And please, call me Dusty," he said coyly, giving her a quick wink.
"My, my, Dusty, don't you know how to play the ladies?" Rarity tittered, a sound that Dusty found to be more beautiful than any produced by the Canterlot First Orchestra.
"I try my best, madam." Offering his hoof, he smiled winningly at her. "Shall we?"
Rarity reciprocated with a playful smile of her own. "But of course, darling. Lead me away." The two of them grinned at each other as they headed down the stairs, eager to get a bite to eat and to get to know each other a little better.
Well, after dining for the better part of the hour, our conversation turned from light-hearted to a little more personal. I learned that Rarity actually hailed from a place called Ponyville, the name sounding very familiar to me but I forgot the reason why. She also confided that she was one of the Elements of Harmony and was in fact the one who represented "Generosity". I found that seriously amazing. It's not every day you find a mare that's stunningly beautiful as well as one of the saviors of Equestria. When the conversation started gearing towards me, however, I started sweating.
She got interested in things like my education, my hometown, where I grew up and how I liked working under the Princesses at the Archives. They were all innocent enough questions, but I was loathe to talk about my colthood in front of her. Not because I didn't trust her, for she was one of the most sincere mares I've met and I knew she wouldn't betray my confidence.
It's because my childhood is sort of an embarrassment to me. Being the son of two drifter earth ponies, I was always made fun of whenever we moved to a new village or town because the other foals thought I was homeless. In a sense, they were kind of right. I was too young at the time to know, but my father was escaping his debt collectors by constantly being on the move. The longest I've remembered staying at a place is maybe six months, tops. Those days, I never smiled, I never had friends, and I never experienced love into into my adolescent years.
That's probably why I'm so unrestrained right now and why I'm always chasing after the mares. I guess I'm trying to make up for lost time, but I couldn't just tell my date that on a whim. This was deep, personal, and just plain awkward history for me; she insisted on pressing onward, however, and her genuine curiosity at my avoidance of the subject forced me to end our date early.
I realized that this probably was not the best move I could have made. It was immature and petulant. Now, she won't even allow me to apologize to her, whether in person or through letters.
Even though I hate to admit it, I need Artemis' guidance. He's one of the smartest ponies I know, and if anypony knows how to fix this problem I have, it'll be him. Even if he's a stick in the mud all the time.
-Dusty Scroll, Secretary to the Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives
Artemis called me "Twilight." What's more, he smiled at me and called me his friend.
Yes! It made me feel really good when he said that to me, maybe because I'd been hoping to be his friend ever since he got here. He just seemed so distant and lonely, it made me really want to crack open his shell and I did! Now he's more willing to talk to me about certain things, like how he finds this place too rural for his tastes. Living in Canterlot for the past year has really changed his standards, I suppose. He also answered a lot of my questions on time travel, matter manipulation, and cooking. I can still remember the look on his face when I asked him about cooking; it was kind of an incredulous look mixed with copious amounts of amusement once he realized that I didn't know how to cook. It's not my fault that I'm too busy studying all the time! Plus, I can have Spike take care of that for me.
While he was no professional chef, he showed me how to brew my own coffee without the aid of a coffee machine. It took a lot longer, but the coffee tasted amazing. He also showed me how to make simple things like spaghetti, flatbread, and potato stew in which he insisted in throwing in extra amounts of onions and celery.
By the time we finished our impromptu cook session, it was around twelve at night. While I thought he was going to sleep right away, he offered to take me stargazing. He said he'd studied the constellations before in Canterlot but was eager to see how they looked without having light pollute the view, so we agreed. We must have stayed over two hours just looking at Luna's brilliant sky until our conversation turned towards more light-hearted topics (or as lighthearted as Artemis could be).
While I talked to him about my friends and tried to convince him to meet them, he adamantly refused. "While I consider you my friend, Twilight, it did not come easily. I would rather choose who my friends are and much rather avoid acquaintance with other ponies." No amount of pleading would budge him, so I eventually gave up on the topic and moved on towards other things.
Asking him about his childhood, I listened as he talked about how he was much more lively back then, as colts are wont to be. He seemed to have a bittersweet smile as he talked about those times, but his eyes turned liquid with some sort of hidden sadness. I never even got to find out what it was that was making so sad, because he kept jumping around the subject like a pro. I suppose when you live in the city of nobles and politicians, you pick up some of their skills in avoiding the question.
The night ended with me slowly falling asleep on the hillside where we had chatted. After pulling two all-nighters in a row and also re-filling Artemis' magic to the brim, I couldn't force myself to stay awake. All I remember is that when I woke up, I was in my bed with the covers pulled up over me to keep me warm.
You know, I'm starting to see the pony that Celestia told me to bring back. Little by little, I'm using the magic of friendship to bring his real self back to the sunshine.
If only I knew what was bothering him so much from his childhood.
-Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville Librarian and Bearer of the Element of Magic
Artemis' Entry: Almost Time to Say Goodbye (just a diary entry)
You know, I almost hate to say goodbye. It's now been 6 days since I've arrived here in Ponyville, with the past 3 enjoying the company of my new friend Twilight. She's just as zealous about learning as I am, and I've come to grow just the tiniest bit affectionate of her. (Don't be jumping to assumptions, it's not as if I love her or anything of the sort.)
How things have changed in the past couple of days. At the beginning of this week, I would have never imagined myself conversing with a pony, much less becoming friends with them. Regardless of my efforts, however, I have to admit my defeat: Twilight Sparkle is one intelligent mare, probably almost my equal. It's no wonder that she's Celestia's personal student, though maybe I exaggerate.
She's helped tremendously with the task of experimenting with my new manipulation spell and compiling data for a research report. From curing interdimensional planar anomalies to duplicating more bodies of matter, she has been eager and willing to help me with each one, even supplying some of her own magical power in the mix when mine ran short. After all, I am no unicorn of exceptional talent and having the extra energy did a number for me.
Yet, despite all of this, I fail to trust her with what she wants to know most: my childhood. I've managed to keep skipping around the issue and deflecting her questions up to this point by giving a vague overview, but with my time in Ponyville nearing an end her efforts have become increasingly persistent. I fear that I may no longer be able to avoid the truth and should simply tell her straight out in hopes that she will understand.
But how can she? After all, every other pony in my past couldn't understand. They can't forgive me for the things I've done. The blood on my hooves. I was just a young colt. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to cause such misery.
But that's no excuse. I realize only know that in every stage of life I will be held accountable for the actions of the former stages. Everything that leads up to this point in life contributes to my identity and will continue influencing me into the future.
I don't want to lose the only friend I have in this world. But I can't continue hiding the truth much longer.
She deserves to know, doesn't she? What kind of mad pony I really am? She doesn't deserve to unknowingly be friends with a monster.
A heretic. A digger of graves and a maniac.
I used to have friends.
Now, I am alone.
Except for her.
Except for Twilight Sparkle.
Maybe it's time to let my dark secret out into the world.
- Artemis, Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives.
Artemis awoke silently, without the usual moaning and groaning that he was known to do. Making sure to move as quietly as possible, he magically stowed away all of his possessions and closed up his bag. He couldn't bring himself to do it. No matter how much he had resolved yesterday to tell everything to Twilight Sparkle, he lost his characteristic stoutness when faced with the actual prospect of doing so. Thus, there was only one option available to him.
Running away.
Artemis couldn't simply conjure up a teleportation spell and leave. Not only would the burst of magical energy create a disturbance on all the planes of existence that could be detected by any unicorns who were near the area, but his magical signature would be able to be traced through the slipspace between dimensions. He didn't want Twilight suddenly waking up and tracking him down to demand an explanation out of him. He wouldn't have the heart to lie, not after having grown closer to her like he had in the past couple days.
Being ever so cautious, Artemis snaked out of the door into the main room. Between him and the exit stood an entire floor of creaky floorboards, probably installed purposely to defend from intruders. Deciding that the risk of him making a noise was much higher than Twilight noticing any magic going on as she slept, Artemis did a quick levitation spell and carried himself safely over the floorboards towards the door. Suddenly, he heard a loud yawn and nearly dropped himself.
"Twilight's waking up!? Already!? Cripes!" Artemis thought furiously to himself. Trying to force himself to move faster towards the door, he had nearly made it when Twilight emerged from her room, eyes blurred with sleep. Freezing with his mouth on the doorknob about to close it, Artemis prayed to Celestia and Luna that Twilight's early morning vision wouldn't be clear enough to see him.
As luck would have it, Twilight simply walked passed him and called out a sleep "Good morning, Artemis" as she made her way to the kitchen, her mind still slowly warming up to the fact that she was awake.
As quietly as he could, Artemis closed the door behind him, letting out a low yawn. Even though he had planned to make his escape in the early morning, his body didn't seem to be as dedicated to the plan as he was. Even now his eyes threatened to drop shut and never open again.
Shaking himself back to semi-alertness, Artemis started walking down the street towards the train station, never realizing that perhaps Twilight Sparkle was not quite as asleep as she'd led him on to be, and even now watched him from her kitchen window, hurt that he would leave without even saying goodbye. She had something she wanted to say to him too, but if she didn't catch up to him she'd never have the chance to. Not for a while, anyways.
Correctly inferring from his general direction that he was heading for the Ponyville train station, she mentally brought up today's schedule. The next train wouldn't be leaving for two hours. Perfect.
Gathering up energy in her horn, she quickly teleported to Sugar Cube Corner. She had a fare-well party to plan, and if anypony could put together a party under pressure it's Pinkie Pie.
----
Artemis shivered, his breath visible in the brisk morning air. Today was a particularly cold morning in Ponyville, and he still had to wait another hour until the train arrived.
"Wouldn't it be just silly if I got caught before I made my 'great escape' just because the train hasn't arrived yet," Artemis laughed bitterly to himself. As much as he tried to deny it to himself, he really wanted to at least say good bye to Twilight Sparkle. While meeting them two days ago for his welcome party had been an interesting experience, he never really connected with any of them.
However, he felt a strong bond with Twilight. Perhaps it was because she had been of such great help to him, or perhaps it was because she was a great partner for conversation. Either way, her absence would be sorely missed when he moved back to Cantlerot. "Ah, Artemis, you're growing soft," he chided himself.
How he had suddenly teleported from the cold train station to a barnhouse in the space of half a second was beyond him. Suddenly disoriented by the change in environment, he looked down just in time to watch a magic circle melt away into the light. He looked up to see Twilight Sparkle coming towards him with a hurt look in her eye.
"Artemis, I can't believe you would try to leave without saying goodbye to me," Twilight whispered, her voice soft and her eyes melting holes into his conscience. He stood there shuffling his feet, not knowing how to respond until Twilight suddenly brightened up with a mischievous smile. "That's why I'm going to throw you a 'fare-well' party!"
Suddenly, the barn lit up. Artemis stood dumbfounded as Twilight's four friends and a white unicorn mare he'd never seen before opened up the festivities. He stared at Twilight incredulously. "Was this really all necessary?"
She smiled. "Yes, Artemis, because I have to at least try to get you to stop being a stick in the mud." Sticking out her tongue playfully, she dragged him over to reacquaint himself with her friends. Needless to say, Artemis resisted it every step of the way.
----
The party soon died down as twilight approached, the sun slowly giving way to Luna's moon. Twilight and Artemis remained alone in the apple orchards of Sweet Apple Acres, gazing into the stars as they had last night and the night before that.
Artemis, for the first time in years, felt awkward. For the length of the party, he was forced to talk, eat, and even dance with all of Twilight's friends. In fact, he pretty much had a "good time" with everypony but Twilight, because she seemed to avoid him whenever he tried to approach her.
Now, they were alone.
"So, are you going to tell me why you tried leaving without saying good bye this morning?" Twilight's voice was low, and it was clear that she felt hurt.
Now that the silence had been broken, there was no turning back. Artemis slowly faced Twilight, a pained expression in his eyes. "I knew that if I said good bye, you'd ask me about my past. I just couldn't do something like that."
"So, you still don't trust me?" Teardrops formed on Twilight's cheeks, glistening orbs reflecting the pale light of the moon.
"It's not that Twilight, it's just..." Artemis sighed heavily. "You're the first pony I could call a friend in years. I don't want to lose that friendship."
"You seem to be doing a good job of that on your own..." Her voice trailed off, the implication clear.
Artemis stared at the dirt between his hooves. After taking a moment to think, he committed himself.
"I brought the dead to life."
A long silence stretched between the two of them.
Twilight, thinking that she had misheard him, looked up. There was fear in her eyes. "What? That can't be true. Nopony should be able to..."
Artemis cut her off with a shake of his head. "I did." Without waiting to hear her disgusted reaction, he pressed onward. "When I was just a colt and about to move to university, I had come across this very peculiar scroll. This scroll was the product of Zebrican black magic, although I was too young to know at the time. It contained curses that did things beyond my wildest dreams, promising power that should have been beyond the reach of all ponies. One of these curses was the curse of "undeath", or quite literally a curse that rebinded a soul to it's body."
Artemis stamped his hoof against the ground. "I was so foolish! Excited by my discovery, I failed to realize the consequences that such an action would create and gathered up the necessary materials needed for a successful revival. However, I was still missing a vital component: a dead pony." He stared at Twilight's face now, his eyes haunted by visions of the past. "And so I committed a crime against ponykind. I dug up the grave of the founder of the town I was born, Bartimaeus E. Coltson. Carrying it secretly back to my magic circle, I prepared the necessary ingredients that would be needed to reform his body, then cast the curse."
Here, Artemis' voice dropped low to barely a whisper. "It went terribly wrong. I had succeeded in binding the soul back to the body, yes, but that was not Bartimaeus E. Coltson that I had brought back from the grave. It was monster. A mindless being driven insane by the curse, with only one purpose in mind: to destroy it's creator and take his skin for it's own before feasting on the rest of the town. So I did the only thing that I could. I killed the thing that I gave life to. After that night, I silently reburied the body and stole away without anypony noticing. But it haunted me forever afterwards. I couldn't make any friends, because as soon as they learned about my terrible secret they rejected me. I eventually learned to just keep my mouth shut and stay alone and far away from the other ponies. This is why I'm how I am, Twilight Sparkle. I can no longer trust the rest of my fellow ponies, for I can't even trust myself." Allowing his statement to drift away long the night wind, Artemis let a single tear drop down his cheek.
"This is it," he thought to himself. "I'm about to lose another friend again."
So entrenched in his misery, he was completely taken aback when he was enveloped by something warm. Opening his eyes to find himself in a sea of lavender fur, he involuntarily took in a deep breathe. It smelled of chamomile and freshly pressed lavenders.
Twilight embraced him fiercely, tears running from her eyes. "Artemis, I...I had no idea you've been carrying such a huge cross on your back for all this time... Nopony should have to suffer for this long... especially not somepony like you."
Pressing his snout deep into her chest, Artemis allowed himself to cry softly, drowning in her kindness. "So this is what it's like to have a true friend..." he said, his words muffled against her body.
They stayed like that for a while, letting the sadness flow out of both of them. When the tears stopped running, Artemis pulled away to look up at a smiling Twilight.
"You look so silly right now, you know," she giggled. It was so refreshing to hear a sound so purely innocent and happy that Artemis had to smile despite himself.
"Yes, I must suppose I do." Getting up to his feet, he stared up at the stars. "Bollocks. I'm starting to regret having to leave."
"Then stay here with me."
Artemis whipped his head around, not believing what he'd just heard. "W-what?"
Twilight Sparkle sidled up to him, their faces only inches apart now. He could feel her warm breath on his snout. "I like you, Artemis." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then blushed in embarrassment.
Normally, Artemis would have recoiled back in shock, but it just felt right to him. Staring into her eyes, he finally understood. He had fallen in love with Twilight Sparkle. Not being able to control himself, he moved forward and lightly pressed his lips against Twilight's, who gave a muffled noise of surprise before submitting, allowing herself to press deeper into the kiss. It was awkwardly innocent in every sense of the word, each pony superbly inept in the art of romance.
The next day, Artemis sent his letter of resignation to Princess Celestia. He had found himself a friend.
Dusty caught up to Rarity as she was about to board her platform. "Rarity, I love you! Please forgive me for m-" He never even saw the slap coming, and quickly fell unconscious against the train platform.
"What an uncouth stallion you are! I can't believe I had even agreed to lunch with you!" With a huff, Rarity boarded the train back home for Ponyville, leaving Dusty's prone form on that wooden platform while never looking back.
A word from the Author:
I'm sorry if this pisses you off, but as I said earlier I'm not very good at writing. The story felt like it was taking forever to develop at times, and then I felt that my characters were acting OOC at other times. I finally got fed up with the lack of cohesiveness and just decided to end it before it got worse.
Over all, this was a good experience for me writing, but it's not the quality of work I wanted to create.