Two minecraftians are sent to Equestria after a failed teleporter experiment, and are forced to make sense of a world far from their own. Of course, in the land of tekkit 'making sense of' is slang for 'mining it dry and rebuilding an
Two tekkit minecraftians, Matt the mage and Trent the engineer, are sent into Equestria following a catastrophic (Think resonance cascade, but on a very small scale) experiment in teleportation thanks to the element of magic's attempts at trans-dimensional communication. Will Matt find love [No, no he won't.]? Will Trent succeed in keeping Equestria from exploding in a very, very pretty sequence of fireballs? Will Twilight ever have peace in the library from the damnable macerator?
A'ight, here's a list of the mods that will make an appearance: Thaumcraft 3, Red Power 2, Industrial Craft 2, Gregtech, Equivalent Exchange 2, Buildcraft, ICBM, Twilight Forest. More may be added as time goes by.
Our misadventure begins in an observatory and laboratory nestled deep inside the snow capped peaks of Minecraftia, in a sub-basement occupied by two very peculiar house-mates, a mage by the name of Matthew, and a mechanic, Trent, both decked out in runed leather armour studded with gems glowing with a mystic energy. Trent's red-gemmed armour, of course, has a spork, multitool, wrench, and a sack of potatoes in various pockets, because engineers do as engineers do, while Matt's green-gemmed armour has many useful pouches filled with nether wart, vis crystals, books, and baked goods. The two 'scientists' are conversing, more arguing, about the dangers of rushing into experiments with teleportation.
"Are you sure that mixing your blasted technology with this much thaumic essence is safe?" said Matt, the ever cautious mage, eyeing the apparent pile of scrap cable piled around a rune inscribed plate of thaumium, the most magically charged metal available to the duo.
"Of course it's bloody safe! The two have always coexisted in harmony before, remember the Machine(1)? Besides, it would take an unstable energy source of over 450 thaums in the workings to muss it up, far within acceptable range for safety. Nothing can go wrong.(3)" said Trent, the overconfident engineer.
Trent walks over to the bundles of wires and steel that comprise his newest invention: A thaumic teleporter, an instant two way teleport without a destination/location link! No blue linking remotes for him any longer!
"Right." Matt said, "Because last time you played with teleporters disposing of the mutant pig people wasn't strange enough. And I still have nightmares about that cat. I swear to whatever gods apply, if this ends up teleporting us somewhere stupid I'm going to take your fancy schmancy laser sword and-"
Matt was interrupted by the item transportation pipe system (Patent pending) unceremoniously dropping four backpacks full of equipment in front of him, two full of resources and two full of tools and armor. Matt inwardly groans, realizing that he was going along for the ride, as well.
"Oh, by the way, Matt, I took the liberty of moving your operation into one of the quantum storage backpacks, because you're coming with me."
A loud boom is heard in the background as the improper disassembly of a high energy crucible causes a node to implode somewhere above them.
"GODSDAMN IT, TRENT, IF THAT ...Was...the... silverwood(2) trees?" Matt started, before Trent's machine began radiating every colour of the visible spectrum, and a few more colours that could only be seen with Matt's goggles of revealing.
"Hey, that's neat! It's never done that befo-" Trent said, cut off by the world suddenly fading into darkness.
"Hey Twilight, are you sure that trying to send messages to other dimensions is a good idea? What if a bad alien finds its way here?" Spike carefully said from the stairway with a metal cooking pot on his head.
"Spike, the chances of finding anything bad out there are low! Besides, we have the Elements of Harmony. Nothing could go wrong.(3)" Twilight said, her horn flashing purple, a quick streak of violet light as a scroll is sent off to another realm with what is, in essence, her magical calling card attached. Her very volatile, highly magical calling card at a power of about 465 thaums.
Suddenly, a loud boom echoed through the library as two creatures were painfully deposited onto the floor. A bookshelf loosed its hardcover contents over the crumpled form of Matt, causing the unfortunate mage to grunt in pain, lamenting about how he never should have gotten up this morning and muttering incoherently about some kind of sentient many-legged travelling trunk.(4)
"Ugh. Fine, maybe mixing the thaumological and technological arts for a bloody two-way teleport was a poor decis-. Oh, my." said Trent, once again cut off, this time because he had just noticed a purple unicorn with the distinct spark of intelligence in its (her?) eyes gaping at him, and as he began speaking towards it, the backpacks chose this moment to phase into existence above him, and, just before the world once again went dark, Trent thought: Damn, I really need to get around to wearing that exo-helmet I built at some point.
(1) The Machine (copyright pending) is a 32 layer blaze rod manufactory that can produce upwards of 3.2 million EMC/tick. Which is a very, very large amount. One diamond is 8192 EMC. Unfortunately patched, but this story pretends Equivalent Exchange 3 never happened.
(2) A silverwood tree is a magical tree with blue leaves that holds a small aura node and purifies the flux out of the local network. Basically a magical filter.
(3) As bitter irony is a multiversal constant, the dreaded phrase 'nothing could go wrong' can damn any endeavour, no matter now assured victory may seem.
(4) Somewhere in a dingy room in the far away slums of Ankh Morpork, the Luggage snaps its lid in confusion.
Today while searching for life in other dimensions, two strange bipeds wearing magical radiating clothing, something which shouldn't even be possible, teleported into my home along with four 'bag of holding' type artifacts filled with resources and equipment. One of them started speaking perfect Equish before noticing me and getting knocked out by the backpacks. (Creatures may have thin skulls. Research pending.). Help?
-Your very confused student, Twilight Sparkle
"Oh, god, my friggin' head. Did anybody get the number of that bookshelf?" Trent groggily said, blearily observing his surroundings from his position on a couch. When the hell did we get a couch? was Trent's first thought.
"STAY BACK! I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THIS, FOUL NETHER-SPAWN!" screamed Matt, holding a shard of Alumentum(1), preparing to smash it on the ground in front of the purple unicorn.
"Jesus, Matt, you don't have to kill everything we don't bloody understand. It's obviously sentient and it's purple. I doubt it's a predatory species, just look at it, it wouldn't survive a minute out in the wilds." mumbled Trent incoherently.
This was, of course, around the point that Spike removed his impromptu headgear and gave Matt a mighty thwack upside the head with it, knocking him out.
"Thank for that, Spike, now let's talk to our other guest about some things." said Twilight in a threatening tone, giving a death glare that could make a fire ogre flee in terror.
"For future reference, I am in no way responsible for whatever Matt did. He's used to dealing with the kind of crap that crawls out of the portal network, but I work with the Testificates and AI. I'm peaceful, but if you hit me with that pot, I swear to whatever deity you believe in that you will be dead before you can move, and nothing in this world or another can stop me with the exception of Matt, making knocking him out a very poor decision. Now," Trent said, giving a glance at his unconscious friend, "I mean no harm, but the second one of you touches me I will destroy you all."
Spike quickly backpedals up the stairs, while Twilight merely cowers under the very, very angry stare of Trent, who is now holding his modified mining laser, more a laser pistol, removing it from its place on his belt.
"I assume that you were the one responsible for the teleporter problems? You wouldn't happen to know where some 450 thaums, or vis, or mana, or what have you came from, would you? I forgive you for that, by the way, an innocent mistake." Glancing at the cowering unicorn, Trent continued "You can stop cowering now, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm a bit cranky when I wake up in a different world to my friend getting knocked out, though."
"What...what are you?" said Twilight, suddenly aware of just how large the bipeds seem when standing.
Momentarily contemplating his answer, Trent replied: "I am a Minecraftian, as is Matt. We are thinkers, innovators, and builders. We are the masters of our world, purifiers of the Nether, End, and Twilight Forest, three foul realms. We are also, apparently, quite lost." said Trent, now aware of exactly how far from home Matt and himself were.
"I've never heard of a Minecraftian before," Twilight said, grabbing a quill and notebook from who-knows-where, suddenly unafraid of the creature in front of her. "what was your world like? Are you going to go back? Do you know where you are? What was that thing that the other Minecraftian was holding? Do you come in peace?" Twilight said, excitedly, but was interrupted by Trent holding his hand up.
"To answer those questions, before you get ahead of yourself, my world was a place of tamed evil, everything there was hungry for your blood, other than the Testificates, who were merely annoying. My friend and I are going back as soon as we can. That was Alumentum, a very nasty explosive. I come in peace, but Matt will be pissed when he wakes up."
As soon as Trent finished answering 'a few' more questions about, well, everything from Twilight, the door was slammed open by the other 5 elements of harmony, with Fluttershy being pushed along by Pinkie. "Twi, we heard yelling and came as fast as-" Applejack started to say (SEE AUTHOR'S NOTE), before she noticed Trent, now decked out in gravitation suit and full quantum armor with his ultimate solar helmet resting on the table next to him, siting down, drinking tea and asking questions about, well, everything.
"Twi, what the hay is tha-" Applejack began, again, interrupted by Rainbow Dash predictably flying up to Trent, getting in his face, and angrily shouting "What's the big idea here? Why's a monster like yo-", only to be accidentally whacked aside by Trent's power armoured gesticulations, and Trent failed to notice Rainbow punching and kicking him for all she was worth, merely continuing where he left off in his questioning. Rainbow was dragged back to the group by the tail, quite literally kicking and screaming.
"Sugarcube, if Twi hasn't dealt with it, then I doubt it's a problem. I know your pride is hurt, but just calm do-" Applejack said, and, seeing Rainbow opening her mouth to interrupt her, Applejack shoved her hoof in Rainbow's mouth. "Don't even start."
Finally finishing what he was saying, Trent turned around and starting speaking: "Alright, what do you five want? And what was with the whole punching thing? I'm wearing three centimeters of super-dense carbon, reinforced steel, iridium, diamond, and a personal shield. If you want, I can demonstrate this suit. Twilight, if you will?"
Twilight summoned a thick barrier in front of him, averting her eyes. Trent gave the barrier one strong punch, watching it shatter into fragments of light. The Elements, aside from Twilight, who had seen this display before, were dumbstruck, jaws agape.
Matt, of course, took this opportunity to wake up from his position on the couch of unconsciousness, and, taking one look at a rather strong barrier exploding, gave a girly scream.
"Oh, good, you're finally awake! Took you bloody long enough. If you try to hurt one of these ponies again, which, by the way, is what they're called, I'll make you drink some of that first batch of ale again." Remembering exactly how bad that first barrel of tainted, rot-tasting beer was, Matt quickly calmed down.
"Have a cookie, call it payment from that time I stole some from your stash." Trent said, throwing a biscuit from plate on the table at Matt,which bounced off of his forehead before landing in his lap. "I hate you sometimes, Trent. Thought you should know that."
(1) Alumentum is an extremely high grade fuel that, when dropped or molested, explodes violently. Think a thaumic grenade.
As the mane six awkwardly shuffled out the door, still slightly terrified and more than a bit confused, Trent and Twilight continue conversing while Matt rummages through his backpack, searching for him armour. Eventually he finds it and puts it on, drawing Twilight's attention. Trent began explaining: "That, Twilight, is the most powerful magical armor we've yet to produce. We call it gem armor, and it cost us a grand total of 317,397,830 cubic meters of stone, or 38,745 diamonds or about 1,441,880 metric tons of iron. That is, to be honest, a few dozen metric-goddamn-fucktons. Took us a little while. Either way, while my suit makes me practically invincible, his suit lets him throw lightning bolts, fly, blow things up, and generally make a nuisance of himself. But, he's still gotta eat, and he's still somewhat vulnerable. Case in point-" Trent says, throwing another biscuit into Matt's faceplate.
"ACK! Godsdammit, Trent! Stop with the cookies!" shouted Matt, shaking crumbs out of his helmet. Twilight laughs. "Sorry, Matt, had to prove a point. Anyway, you mind finding our rings of arcana? I seem to have forgotten mine." Matt rummages in his bag for a moment, pulling out two rings. "Here, catch." Matt says, throwing one of the rings at Trent. Trent catches the ring, removes one of his gauntlets, and puts it on. "And now I'm more powerful than Matt. And my armor didn't cost me a small planet of stone to make. So, when's this princess of yours going to arrive?" Matt shoots Trent a glare that could melt steel. "Trent, when were you planning on informing me that a flippin' monarch is going to show up? Remember last time I met royalty?" Twilight gives Trent a questioning glance. "Oh, that was in the Twilight Forest. Might have met an insane, undead ruler that fired balls of pure hatred at people. And I might have used Matt as a shield, before we had decent armor. And there was that one time in-" "That's enough of that, then, eh? And if Trent ever finishes that story, I'll throw him into the sun." Matt says. Twilight speaks: "Well, speaking of the Sun, I think Princess Celestia is here." "Uh, Trent, what does she mean 'speaking of the Sun'...?" "Oh, yeah, their rulers are immortal god-like beings that control the sun and moon. You were knocked out for that conversation, I think." Trent said, nonchalantly. "GODS DAMN IT, TRENT! EVERY BLOODY TIME! ...Where the hell did I put my Katar...?" Matt shouted.
As Matt rummages through his bag yet again, the door slams open, princess Celestia enters followed by at least a dozen guards. Trent grabs his mining laser in one hand and his nano-saber in the other. Matt finds his sword, grabs his athame from the couch, and prepares for a fight. "You are Minecraftians, aren't you? It's been a long, long time since one of you has come here, and this time we're ready. Your evil will stop here." Celestia said, smashing Matt and Trent into the back wall. "Hey, Trent, can I smashy smashy yet?" Matt questioned. "Not quite yet, let's try a bit of 'diplomacy' first." Trent responded. Trent stands up while Matt straightens his helmet. "Alright, ma'am, we've never been here before. We got here by a teleporter acci-" Trent was interrupted by Celestia: "I don't want to hear your lies. You were responsible for the corruption of my sister and for the slaughter of hundreds." "As far as we know, we're the only Minecraftians who are or who will ever be. I assume it was wearing armor made of diamond?" Celestia nods. "In that case, we are about fifteen hundred times stronger, with weapons up to fifty thousand times stronger. We have mastered magic and technology. Well, almost, I guess. Were your people able to stop the other Minecraftian then?" Celestia wearily shakes her head. "Well, what makes you think you can stop us? We've purified the Twilight Forest, we've cleansed a good bit of the Nether, we've destroyed the Ender Dragon in a thermonuclear blast large enough to destroy its entire realm. We have done nothing but good for the world, don't make us change that, because we can and will. You see that in Matt's hands? That's called a biome buster. It's so powerful we've only detonated one in a specially made world, and it vaporized everything down to the core farther than we could walk in a day in every direction. Judging by your expression, you have nothing like this. If we wanted war, we would have started with war. NOTHING in this realm or any other can stop us, feel free to try. You've got one free shot." Celestia's horn glows, and Matt and Trent disappear. "Alright, Trent, why the fuck did you do that? And where the hell are we?" Matt said, exasperated. "Uh, well, we appear to be on the moon. Stand still." Trent grabbed Matt's arm, jumping and flying out of the orbit of the moon in a matter of seconds. Matt and Trent burn through the atmosphere, having a quick conversation before they smash into the ground a few kilometers from the library. They could see the town from the sky, in fact. "Hey, Matt, do you have any idea why she hated us on sight?" Trent said. "Hells if I know. You're the only one that isn't immediately attacked by everything and anything that can move." Matt said. "Er. Matt. I think I just realized where we are. I took a book from a Testificate library once, and it mentioned a land of magic filled with ponies and it had an account in it that mentioned bringing a great evil with them. I thought it was just one of their stories, but I think it might actually be true. And I don't think we're the only minecraftians in existence, now." "Oh, shite. So we landed in the one realm where another Minecraftian has been, and he was a total doucher? Grand!'
They impacted the surface, and, climbing out of the crater, Matt says: "Gods damn it all. Did we really just jump from the bloody moon? And why is the ground not a giant crater, and only a little one? Oh,and I TOTALLY CALLED IT." "Y'know, Matt, for the mage you sure do forget what you build. We've both got rings of arcana, so our fall was minimized. And with the fire resistance on both our armors...We're kinda built for re-entry, actually. Hey, have we gone to space yet? I vote we make a giant slingshot to-" "NO."
The two minecraftians walked in silence towards the town, Matt pissing about, melting snowballs in the air for some scant sense of stimulation. Trent was fiddling with a small handheld computer, programming a game of simple pong, when he suddenly facepalmed. "Matt, I have the quantum suit on, I can sprint the both of us there in ten seconds flat. Grab a pauldron, my friend, and let's go for a ride!" Trent said. Matt facepalmed but complied, and the two were making a good clip towards the town thanks to a large helping of applied science.
As they arrived at the outskirts of the town, they non-nonchalantly strolled in, walking past the stunned citizens, until they came to the door of the library, which Trent calmly opened, whistling. A stunned set of ponies were talking animatedly, turning to face the door. "So, captain sunny disposition, care to explain how an entire race is evil because of one diamond-clad Luddite? Because I really and truly want to know." Trent said, cordially, his laser spinning from one finger. "But...Moon?" a guard stammered out. "It's a gods-damned moon, not exactly a prison, that's what planets are for. Moons are for useless doom lasers and exploration, but, spoiler alert, it's just more goddamn moon." Trent said. Princess Luna nodded in the background. "Anyway, as Trent didn't bloody say, we got off on the wrong 'hoof', if you will. Can we start again? I won't pull a super-weapon if you don't." Matt piped in, unusually diplomatically, placing his sword into its sheath. Trent holstered his laser and pulled off his helmet, holding it under one arm. The ponies still looked apprehensive. "Alright. Super-powerful semi-immortal pair of aliens walking out the door, have a nice day." Trent said, taking a reading of the library's coordinates with a radar gun that was close to hand, in case worse came to worst. About ten feet out the door, Matt leaned over and whispered "Hey, Trent, a lapotron crystal and a cookie says that they stop us in the next five minutes.". Trent shook his head, almost imperceptibly. "No way, Matt, that was the plan. Are you slow on the uptake, or what?" Trent whispered back.
"Wait!" Celestia called from the library's doorway. The minecraftians strolled back in. "I'm willing to make peace on the condition of a full cultural exchange." Celestia said. "No-can-do. How about this: You give us a plot of land, say, in that giant evil-looking forest, and we don't let you ruin your peoples' chances of an independent culture or a bright future of innovation by giving you lot everything you ever desire. Oh, and we'll make you a suit of super pony armor, I guess, but we want the land to be on the edge of the forest near this town." Trent happily said. "...We have a deal. Use as much of the Everfree as you wish." Celestia reluctantly said, almost instantly regretting her decision. "Awesome! Matt, forward unto dawn, as per usual!" Trent said, running towards the forest. Matt sighed, gently closed the door, and followed him. The ponies collectively released the breath they had been holding for a minute or so.
After a few minutes of walking, Trent pulled out a diamond tipped chainsaw and Matt unsheathed his katar. "Righto, first one to fell half gets the better office!" Trent said, happily. Matt channeled some of the natural mana surrounding him into his katar. erasing a good ten square miles of the forest.Matt calmly picked up the ball of condensed matter in one hand and pocketed it. "No fair, but I guess I did say. Damn." Trent grumpily said.
A pack of manticores burst from the newly exposed forest, charging at the duo. Biggest mistakes they ever made. Matt reached into his pocket and retrieved a piece of alumentum, which he promptly threw, turning a manticore into a few unpleasant piles of goo. Trent had long since drawn his laser pistol and had bored four neat holes into the four remaining manticores, felling them. Matt waved his hand and the corpses disintegrated into ash, scattered to the winds. Trent looked upon the scene with disdain. "Right, perhaps a house can come first for once instead of some absurd complex." Trent offhandedly said. Matt looked at him like he was insane, but Trent continued "I'm thinking a massive college type of ting, where we can advance the natives' knowledge without killing their chances. Large observatory with a Machine(1) under it, powers the whole facility from the excess. Maybe a nice solar energy control system, mainframe, classrooms and lecture halls fit for about five hundred students, I guess. Oh! We need a library, too!" Trent said,excitedly. "Maybe we split it into magical and technlogical studies? We can make a recycler system, too, easy additional power. Zero waste." Matt said, equally excited. "I'm thinking basalt, marble, stone brick, maybe sandstone. Lots of nice glass and metal. Maybe some Xychorium(2), too. Four wings, observatory, cafeteria, dorms, teleporter matrix! We can make a series of colleges! We need to find out if there's a secondary school system like the Testificates have sometimes!" Trent said, sprinting off towards the library for the third time that day.
Moments later Trent smashed through Twilight's door, beholding the sight of Twilight Sparkle frantically flipping through a plethora of massive texts. "Er. Twilight, does Equestria have a secondary school system? Matt and I are thinking of founding 'The Institute of Magical and Technological Advancement'" Trent said, cautious of Twilight's current mental state. "What?! Oh. It's you, Trent. We don't have colleges for the 'common' ponies, if that's what you're wondering. They're all for the nobles who are too ingrained in their ways to use the things. If you get an open institute running, it will be a major boon to our educational system." Twilight tiredly said. "Awesome! The IMTA will be up by next week! If you'll excuse me, I've a building to build!" Trent excitedly said, sprinting back to the cleared block of forest. unaware that Twilight had passed out at her desk. An odd occurrence to be sure, considering she had only known of us for a few hours.
"Matt! Idea confirmed as valid! Start work on the Machine, glass casing, please, upper most level a few feet below ground. Have it output to the main sorting room over in quadrant 4, I'll get the foundations set up and the basics installed. The turtles ought to do the rest, I think." Trent said, happily, grabbing a pile of basalt bricks from his backpack and setting to work. As night started to fall, the turtles had completed two of the four wings, fully furnished down to the last crucible and tile, and the observatory and machine were fully operational, pumping out resources for the continued construction effort. At two red matter per second, it was nearly red-lined trying to keep up with the demand for raw materials, be they magical or technological. Thousands of tonnes of metal and stone were moved into four massive floating quarter cones made of brilliantly gleaming stone, capped with gems and rare metals indicating the school. The wings for Technology, Philosophy, Magic, and Nature were completed some time during the night.
But slightly before that occurred, Matt and Trent walked into the observatory for its inaugural viewing. It was an awe inspiring sight, thousands of pieces of red matter floating in tubes all around, casting a pale red glow. Lights and arcane candles floating about aimlessly, casting the massive telescope in a deep orange glow, a color that comes only from magical niter(3). Trent keyed the control panel for the observatory, the huge device slowly swinging into position. In the eyepiece, there was a sight that neither Matt nor Trent could have ever imagined. The cosmos, all glowing more brilliantly than ever before, a sight almost unique to this world. Even the Twilight Forest's brilliant night paled in comparison.
Matt and Trent walked to their temporary quarters in silence, awed by what they had just seen. Matt retrieved a book and quill from his pouch and quietly began to write,he began to write the beginnings of a long journal and a long message for the future to find. As he completed its first pages, he gave them some of his magic, and they floated into the ether, stored somewhere safe until his story would be completed, awaiting an end. He had prepared a story to be written, day by day, for a thousand years. It was going to be a long ride, the mage thought.(4)
