Seeking Song has been gone a while. Ten years to the day, she returns from her journey and tries to leave her mark on the hearts of the ponies around her.
Six years before Luna's return, Ponyville lost an important citizen - Seeking Song, its first librarian. No pony knew why she had left so abruptly but now after a decade she has returned. On her first day back, she finds the one thing she never expected to - an opportunity for closure. In the months left to her, Seeking Song imparts some of her adventures and knowledge in the hope that she will live on in memories and accomplishments of the ponies around her.
After all, our legacies are written by those that survive us.
Equestria - Ponyville - Sugarcube Corner - AL 4, December 18 - 09:25
Peace, a simple concept to be sure, was always in short supply for Ponyville. Whether it be chaotic intervention from the semi-divine enemies of Celestia and Luna or the exaggerated drama that always seemed to follow the town’s most well-known inhabitants, peace was a remarkably difficult commodity to come by in the small town in Equestria’s heartland. And so, it was no surprise that after a year and a half of complete and undisturbed peace, Ponyville was releasing a collective sigh of relief. No messages of grave importance or missions of danger and adventure had been delivered or undertaken. The most strenuous event the town had to deal with was the unfortunate maiming of a unicorn filly.
It should have come as no surprise then to the inhabitants of Ponyville that they completely missed one of the most momentous events to occur in Ponyville since the disappearance of Princess Celestia four years previously during the Summer Sun Celebration.
Nopony heard the light, almost ethereal chiming of bells and tinkling of crystal that carried on the cold December wind. Nopony except one.
Nopony noticed that at exactly the same moment every ear flicked involuntarily, and seemingly without anypony’s knowledge, toward the same distant point south of the Equestrian town.
Nopony saw the stunning white mare that suddenly appeared in the alleyway between the most famous bakery in Canterlot province and the home beside it, at least not immediately.
For some of Ponyville’s inhabitants, peace had just died a quiet, unnoticed death.
The mare stayed in the shadows between Sugarcube Corner and its adjacent home and observed the slow and methodical traffic of ponies trudging through cold and a light dusting of snow on the hard-packed earth of the town’s main boulevard. Here and there, the mare’s eyes would light up with recognition and a smile would grace her otherwise expressionless face. She searched through the crowds, searching for a few faces in particular. Her expression went from unreadable neutrality to one of indefinable emotion as she caught her actions and firmly pushed her thoughts away from what she knew would be a painful topic to examine.
The mare waited for the usual crowd that accompanied a market day to fully fill the boulevard and stepped out at the right moment to seamlessly join in the general trend of hooftraffic on the street. The mare slowly walked west in the direction of the towering oak tree that marked the center of the town’s western district. Occasionally, the mare would stop at a stall, careful that they were owned by ponies that would not recognize her, and examine their wares or comment about business to pass the time. To a fault, everypony was kind and respectful just as the mare remembered. It seemed the defining trait of any Ponyvillian was to always be pleasant.
When the mare tired of stopping to look at merchandise, she started toward the tree at a more brisk and mechanical pace. She’d not gone more than five paces before she heard something she never expected to hear - the sound of breathy, whispery humming. Unlike normal sound, this music seemed not to be carried on such a mundane medium as air, but on some incomprehensible but entirely therecarrier. No other word could describe the subtle press against the mare’s mind and heart.
She stopped to look around for the source of the melody. Her head craned around and over the ponies that surrounded her on all sides until they were almost all blurred due to the speed of the mare’s head turning. Abruptly, the humming was accompanied by the light, measured clopping of a foal’s hooves and suddenly the mare could see the source of the low melody.
The mare could see that walking ahead of her a small white earth pony filly was trailing behind two of her friends - an orange-bodied-purple-maned pegasus filly and another earth pony filly with butter-yellow fur and a shockingly red mane. In contrast to her two friends who were enthusiastically laughing and making a game of walking up the road to the distant school, the white filly was walking mechanically and evenly. Her hoofsteps were perfectly in time with the melody of her humming and but were carried through the air rather than through it.
The mare listened for a few moments more and then started to hum along with the filly. Her humming was firm but not very loud compared to the younger pony’s. The mare’s humming carried over it as well. For a few moments, their combined music almost caused the air between them to shimmer but before the disturbance could manifest completely, the mare introduced discordant tones and beats into her humming.
The sudden jarring change caused the white filly to stumble and look around dazedly. The filly’s expression was as blank as the mares when the two locked eyes. Neither blinked or looked away, not when the filly’s friends asked her to hurry up nor when a stallion jostled the mare as he passed by on an errand. The mare consciously controlled the urge to widen her eyes in surprise. The filly was no earth pony; she was a unicorn. One who had lost her horn and still lived. The mare’s heart went out to the filly. To lose something so precious as her horn so early in life had to have been devastating.
The filly took a tentative step toward the mare and in response, the mare’s eyes changed from their blank facade to welcoming warmth. Another step and the mare smiled softly. The filly took the last few steps to the mare until at last she stood in front of her. She looked up at the mare’s face without a trace of fear or nervousness. She seemed content to wait and let the silence between the two grow until the mare decided to start their conversation.
“Hello...” The mare’s speech was accented oddly, almost as if it were a infused with the essence of other languages. It presented the white filly with something to latch onto rather than continue to stare silently.
“You... sound funny.” The filly said quietly.
“Yes, I would imagine I do. It has been many years since I have spoken heartland Equish.” The mare shuffled a bit and her movement revealed the lacquered wood and gleaming white metal of a magnificently crafted ebony woodwind instrument on her back. It immediately captured the filly’s eye.
“What instrument is that?” Her tone carried curiosity and hints of sadness that the mare picked up on and sympathized with. The mare had a flash of inspiration.
“It is an oboe. A gift from my brother.” She reverently pulled it from it’s case on her back and held it up, “Would you like me to play something for you?”
The filly nodded slowly. Her expression was still blank, but the ghost of a smile was playing at the edges of her mouth.
The mare thought for a moment and began to play a lively tune that bounced through it. Nopony around them heard the melody that came from the oboe, only the mare and filly that shared an extraordinary gift and terrible curse. The mare played until she felt that the song she’d played was at an end and slowly fell silent.
The filly’s eyes had closed during the performance. The music was too... profound... to be listened to with the distraction of the ponies around them. She had not seen that nopony else had heard the mare’s impromptu composition.
“That was nice. I’ve never heard that one before.” The filly said. Her earlier blank expression had disappeared and was replaced by a pleased smile.
“You would not have, I just invented it now.” The mare placed the oboe back on her back carefully and turned back to the filly, “You... have no instrument.”
The filly’s face fell and an expression of confused anguish crossed her face, “No. And I don’t know why but it hurts. More than anything.”
The mare nodded, “Soon. Soon you’ll have an instrument to call your own. I will be in town for a while... if you like, we can make one for you. Something simple. But when you have nothing, anything will do.”
The abrupt rhyme jostled the filly’s memory, “Are you Zebrican?”
The mare shook her head, “No, but that was a very good guess. I have lived in Zebrica for a long time now though. How did you guess?”
“One of my friends, Zecora, rhymes like you just did. She lives in the Everfree.” The filly’s ear twitched a moment before the loud, brassy sound of the school bell came from behind her. School had started and she was late - again.
The mare nodded in the direction of the school, “It seems it’s time for you to go. We can speak more later.” The mare turned to go but stopped when the filly called out to her.
“What’s your name?” The mare stopped, paused for a moment, and turned slowly. For a moment, the mare considered lying. A variety of emotions flickered across the mare’s face too quickly for the filly to follow as she deliberated. Finally, she sighed and decided to tell the truth. She would not finish in a lie. In the place where everything began she would end right.
The mare finally smiled, “G♭Δ7. But you can call me, Seeking Song. And your name?"
The filly cocked her head and wondered why the mare had said her name twice in the same sentence, “Um. Sweetie Belle. I’m Sweetie Belle.”
The mare bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement and Sweetie Belle turned to go. Seeking Song watched her go and reflected on the filly’s attitude in the face of what would have been strange to any other pony. She was definitely family. Perhaps not of flesh and blood or law and paper, but in gift and music and magic and curse. Seeking Song looked forward to speaking with the filly again.
She resumed her walk to the library with a lighter heart than when she had arrived. Something was finally looking up.
“Aha! found it! Fi-na-lly!” Seeking Song exclaimed, while waving around a thin paperback volume with a gray cover. While seemingly innocuous, this particular volume had taken Song three years to track down. Hard to believe that it’s almost over, just have to destroy this and be done with it. Seeking Song broke into an impromptu dance on top of one of her beloved tables. Had a patron of her newly opened library seen her, they probably would have broken down into laughter at the sight of the normally reserved, almost chilly mare’s silly jig.
Song finally calmed down and sat to read the book that had caused her so much trouble. The Middle Winds was a book with a rich and varied past. It had been dropping into and out of the lives of ponies since before the Migration. It had been copied, reproduced, banned, burned, and alternately stamped out and brought back into society’s collective eye. It was a work of art as much as history and was part of a series of books that had, oddly, all been forgotten. The Middle Winds was a book about music.
Song had first come across the book in the final year of her high school career in her mathematics class of all places. Her teacher, Rising Count, had been explaining about the mathematical structure of musical works. It was an interesting lecture, though not more so than any other day. What had caught her attention had been when her teacher had stumbled over a word while speaking about the book. It went unnoticed by the others in the class, but to Song, it had been like a short scream in her ear. It was a chord, C-11, and it was loud. A day later, Rising Count was dead - supposedly from natural causes.
That would have been the end of the incident if Song had let the coincidence go. She could have left it alone but being the intelligent, bookish (of course she was an avid mystery reader), and curious type she absolutely had to explore the incident that almost screamed “I’m-a-mystery-come-solve-me”.
Needless to say, her adventure did not go well. Three years, seven near-death experiences, and a mountain of books later, Seeking Song was at the end of her rope. Thankfully, she’d finally tracked down the book to read.
The mare opened the book and read the title and author, The Middle Winds by D#7#5.
Seeking Song almost dropped the book when the chord rang in the empty room of her library. What the hay did I get myself into, the mare groaned, none of this crazy, ridiculous, exhausting search makes sense. She actually did drop the book when she turned the page to the dedication.
For they who search for perfection in form and purity of sound.
And to they who can read this additional dedication, though our time has ended and you are all that is left of us, know that you are always heard. We leave this book as a true history of our lives and achievements. Remember us, for we are you.
And you would wish for the same.
When Seeking Song could pick up the book again and turned to the first chapter she could see a second set of text. Every other line was written in a deep green ink. Page after page was filled by two stories. The first, a dry and thorough history of the development and technical study of past musical works written in a printed typeface. The second, hundreds of hoofwritten autobiographies ranging in length from a single page to entire chapters.
Seeking Song read the entire book through twice. In the end, she was unable to destroy it as she had planned.
A day later, she disappeared from her library and had left a note on her door.
Ponyville Library - AL 4 - Winter
Seeking Song walked up to the door of the library and knocked firmly. She was smiling faintly, her former home had grown and expanded by at least a factor of three while she had been gone. After a moment, the door opened and she was greeted by a peculiar purple dragon with lime green spines, “Hi, welcome to Ponyville Library! How can I help you?”
Seeking Song’s smile grew, “Hi, I’m Seeking Song, I... um... used to live here a long time ago. I’m back in town and I’m just looking around before finding a place to stay. I’ve been travelling for a while.”
The dragon opened the door farther and stepped back, “Wow? Really? You lived here? I did some research when Twilight and I moved in and I couldn’t find any old owners. Are you sure this is the place?”
Song giggled, “Because there’s another library in an oak tree in Ponyville?” She stepped inside and looked around, “It’s so much bigger now. When I left, Berd was just a few years old and magically expanded.”
The circular library almost didn’t seem familiar to Song. Just enough had changed to remove any kind of special attachment to the building and yet she could hear Berd welcoming her in a language of nearly inaudible creaks, booms, and snaps. It remembered her, its first mother, and in its own tree-like way was glad to see her again.
“Berd?” The dragon looked at her quizzically and wondered why the mare had an ear cocked like she was listening to someone.
“It’s the tree,” Seeking Song replied, “Its name is Berd. When I planted it I sort of named it. It made me feel closer to it somehow.” Berd fell quiet and Song focused on the dragon, “You probably didn’t find any records about previous owners because I technically never owned this place. I planted Berd, I nurtured and took care of it, and then had a team of unicorns expand it until I could live inside. I didn’t ever get to complete any paperwork for it because I left a few months after moving in.”
Seeking Song sat down at a table and motioned to the other seat, “So, who’re you?”
The dragon sat down, “I’m Spike. I’m Twilight’s research and librarian assistant. She’s the main librarian and Princess Celestia’s protégé. We’re here in Ponyville to study friendship and its Elements.”
Seeking Song’s eyebrow rose, “Really? Even in Zebrica, we’ve heard of Celestia’s prized student. She’s very powerful according to the stories and rumors. And you’re saying she’s a librarian in my hometown and my old home no less?”
Spike laughed, “Yeah, I guess I am. She’ll be home any minute now. She’s at the school as a guest speaker for the foal-aged students right now. She has a morning and afternoon lecture but she’ll be home for lunch, at least. In about...” Spike looked at the clock, “an hour and a half. You’re free to stay here and wait for her. I’ll make the three of us something to eat when she gets here.”
Spike exited the room and busied himself in the kitchen making sandwiches while Song walked over to the mystery fiction section and searched for a new read. Slowly, a frown graced her features. This is the most ridiculous ordering system I’ve ever seen. She looked back toward the kitchen to make sure the door was closed and moved to the center of the room. She carefully slid her oboe off her back and got into a comfortable position to play in.
She picked a slow, almost formulaic melody and started to play it quietly. One by one first slowly and then with increasing speed, books flew off the shelf and rearranged themselves in mid-air. Seeking Song let her mind float along with the music. She’d almost finished rearranging the books when a quiet gasp from behind her signaled that she was no longer alone.
Resigning herself to a tedious explanation, Song continued the song to its conclusion before reverently placing her oboe on her back in its place of honor.
“What? How? ...What?” Spike stared at her incredulously. “What the hay was that?” Seeking Song’s smile faded and her expression returned to its usual blank state.
“I’d rather only explain once,” she said tiredly. She knew it would be a tedious, altogether exhausting conversation and that was plenty reason to stall, “it’s a kinda complicated story and it’s kind of why I’m back.”
Spike looked at her suspiciously, “You’re not going to kick us out or anything are you?”
Seeking Song’s eyes widened and her expression changed to one of surprise, “No! No, of course not, it’s just that I need a place to stay and this was always going to be my first choice.”
Spike continued to look at her suspiciously. Seeking Song winced when she realized what she’d said, “I’m definitely not kicking you out though. If, after my explanation, Twilight won’t let me stay here I’ll go an get an apartment. Really.”
Spike’s expression smile though he still looked at her warily, “Alright. I’ll be in the kitchen again. Don’t... whatever that was...” Spike waved airily in the direction of the mystery shelf, “again.”
Song nodded and pulled a book off the now author-alphabetized shelf and sat at a table to begin reading.
An hour later, the library door opened and Seeking Song looked up from her book. A purple unicorn stomped her hooves on the carpet just inside the door. Unlike Song, she was dressed for the weather in a blue puffy jacket and matching scarves and boots. She smiled at Seeking Song politely and called out for her assistant before leaving the room for the kitchen. Seeking Song closed her book and reshelved it.
A few moments later, Spike and the purple unicorn returned with matching looks of wariness and curiosity. Song sighed but smiled demurely, “I guess he’s already told you about me? Twilight Sparkle, I presume?”
The unicorn nodded, “Yes, to both questions. Why don’t we sit down?” She sat down across from Song and Spike sat a moment later between the two mares. “So, first thing’s first, Spike said you’d like to board here? How long, how much, and why?”
Seeking Song internally blinked at the unicorn’s query but outwardly maintained her blank expression, “Um, six months four days, say... 150 bits a month plus 50 a month for food, and the why... is personal. Spike’s probably told you I used to live here?”
Twilight nodded, “That seems reasonable, I can accept those terms. And he has. He also told me there aren’t any records about you ever living here.”
Seeking Song leaned back in her chair and took a sandwich to nibble on as she began her story, “I didn’t have any time to file or fill any out before I left. What did the Mayor have to say when you moved into Berd?”
At Twilight’s confused expression Spike spoke, “Apparently, Berd is this tree. She named it when she planted it.”
“Ah, I see. Well, she said that it had been empty for a while and that the ‘builder’ had disappeared... wait. That was you?” Twilight looked at Seeking Song like a she was a puzzle.
“Yes. Though I think Berd might take exception if you tried to convince him he was built rather than grown,” Seeking Song replied.
Twilight looked at her skeptically but nodded, “You wouldn’t be related to the Apple family by any chance would you? They name their trees too...” She trailed off when she saw Song’s eyes shift off for a moment.
Song replied slowly, “No... no, I’m not. I’m not related to the Apple family.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed, she was sure she was being lied to but she couldn’t think of a reason to press for a truthful answer. Spike saved her the trouble.
“What are you hiding?” Spike asked, partially suspicious and partially curious. Seeking Song winced.
“I’ve probably had a falling out with the Apples by this point.”
Twilight blinked, “Probably had?”
Song nodded, “I’m not sure what they’ll say if they see me. Probably nothing... kind...” She bowed her head sadly, “Please drop this, it’s personal and painful and I’d rather not talk about it.”
Twilight reluctantly nodded, “You should know, Applejack is one of my best friends. You’re at least going to have to meet her.”
Seeking Song closed her eyes and nodded, “I can do that,” she said it almost like she was trying to convince herself.
“I guess you can stay here, provided you understand that. Which brings us to my last question, magic? I’m not entirely sure I believe Spike when he said you were rearranging the bookshelves with magic.”
“I’m telling you Twilight, the books were floating in the air and she was doing it somehow.” Spike defended himself.
“I can show you if you like...” Song got up and turned to the non-fiction thaumaturgy bookshelves.
Twilight nodded, “Alright.” She watched expectantly.
Song once again slid her oboe from her back and played the song she had before. Her eyes drifted shut within the first few bars of the melody and she swayed along the slow tempo. She couldn’t see it, but the books had all slid off their shelves and were rearranging themselves in the air. Eventually, the last notes of the melody faded out and the last books reshelved themselves. She carefully slid her oboe back onto her back and turned to look at a slack-jawed Twilight and triumphant Spike.
“See! I told you!” Spike crowed.
“What?! But-? What-? You’re-” Twilight Sparkle tried and failed to formulate a coherent thought, “You’re an earth pony for Celestia’s sake! That’s just not possible!”
The white, earth pony mare watched Twilight’s outburst amusedly, “I’m well aware it’s not supposed to be possible. But it seems to have just happened.”
Twilight sputtered for a few more moments, “But... Starswirl’s Eight Principal. And you don’t have a fully developed magerius. That’s impossible.”
Seeking Song laughed, “I’m well aware. I am a librarian too after all.”
Twilight shook her head, “If not the Apple family, are you related to Pinkamena Pie? She does impossible things too.” For a moment Twilgiht’s expression shifted to severe annoyance.
Song shook her head, “Nope. Not that I know of.”
“Oh, well, I hope you don’t mind but the price of your board just changed to include you taking part in a few tests and experiments.” Twilight looked at Seeking Song hopefully.
Song’s blank expression returned, “I’ll think about it.”
Twilight would have tried to make her case except at that moment, a shockingly pink pony seemed to drop out of the ceiling, stop in mid-air upside down, right herself, and touch down on the table without a sound.
“Who has summoned me from Partyvana?” Spike fell over and started giggling uncontrollably and Twilight let her head slam onto the table. Seeking Song only blinked.
“I’m going to guess you’re Pinkamina Pie?” Seeking Song looked up at the ceiling warily. She’d seen a lot of odd things in her travels but that definitely rated first place.
Her attention was recaptured as the pink mare gasped dramatically, “A new pony! Partyvana has answered my prayers!”
Without answering Song’s question she dived off the table and disappeared as she passed the edge. Seeking Song blinked again. She looked first at Spikes incapacitated form as he writhed around laughing. She then looked at Twilight slowly rolling her face across the table and mutter something about peace dieing a quiet death.
The orange filly dropped the note on the table and walked away woodenly. Not a word was spoken. The old mare picked it up and began to read.
By now, I’ve already boarded the train to Canterlot. There, I’ve said it. I don’t plan on disappearing but I have a feeling this will be the last time I’ll see you all. Macintosh, you know everything about what’s happened since high school. You know how dangerous this whole thing’s been for me. I know you’ve always tried to help, despite my best efforts to keep you and all this separate. Please, trust me when I say you really can’t help me now. From the beginning, this was always going to be my journey. Maybe selfishly, I’d always hoped that you’d be there with me but I don’t think its going to happen.
At least I can tell you what I’m about to do. Do you remember me telling you about The Middle Winds? Well, I found it. The last copy was in the private collection of that new entrepreneur, Filthy Rich. He seemed like an okay kinda guy, if a bit stuck up. Anyway, I asked him to let me borrow the book and he reluctantly let me. He knew I was a librarian and that’s probably the only reason he let it out of his sight. If he’d known what he really had, he would have sold it by now.
Mac, it’s so much more than just a book about music. It’s a library. A living, breathing library. I don’t know how but the lives of every pony that’s ever heard Harmony are written in it - from tens of thousands of years ago to just last year.
I have to talk to Princess Celestia. She’s holding an open court on Hearth’s Warming Eve and I need to ask her about all this. Most of the stories in the book talk about something called “Curse:Cordantia” and it’s really worrying me. The book said the ponies that can read them, the true stories, are descended from a special line of ponies from before Celestia’s and Luna’s assumption of the throne. The curse is on that line. I can read the book.
Every pony, every pony in the book said that they had tried and failed to break the curse. None of them actually wrote down what the curse was. I need to find more information.
Seeking Song
P.S. Macintosh, if I had the choice I would say yes. I’ll always say yes.
Ponyville Library - AL 4 - Winter
In the aftermath of the pink intrusion and subsequent confusion, Seeking Song, Twilight, and Spike decided to go about the rest of the day readying the tree’s guest room for an long-term inhabitant. The chore lent itself readily to a steady stream of questions from Twilight for Song that left her slightly confused. Near the end of their task, Seeking Song needed to put her hoof down.
“Twilight, I never attended a unicorn school. Half the stuff you’re asking I have no idea about.”
Twilight paused mid-question about entropy ratios and looked a little crestfallen, “Oh. Right. I forgot.”
Spike finished sweeping out the room and Song sat down on the now tidy bed. Bookshelves lined all four walls. One shelf had an alcove cut out of the middle for a window that had a view of the Everfree on the edge of town.
“Thanks for letting me stay here,” Seeking Song said, “would you mind if I took a nap for a while? Traveling here took a lot out of me.”
Twilight nodded and Spike just left the room, “Sure. How did you get here? Train? From Canterlot?”
Seeking Song hesitated for a moment unwilling to have another mountain of questions dropped on her and grudgingly replied, “Um. No. I... shifted from Zebrica to the alley between the bakery and the adjacent apartment complex.”
Twilight's eye twitched, “Extremely long range teleportation with pinpoint accuracy. Of course. What other method of transportation would make sense?” Seeking Song could almost see the sarcasm and exasperation rolling off Twilight in waves, “You wouldn’t be able to explain that to me either, could you?”
Seeking Song laughed, “Well, if I said that Harmony must be heard, I’m not sure you’d take that as an explanation.”
Twilight sighed and hung her head, “No. That would fall under the category of cryptic nonsense.”
“I thought as much. Then I’m sorry I can’t help you. Though I guess I could point you in the right direction. The obelisk in the Trotfalgar Square is much more than sculpted stone.”
Twilight growled, “That’s not much better.”
“I know, but at least now you have a physical starting point.” Seeking Song’s expression was carefully blank but her eyes revealed how much fun it was poking (metaphorically) Twilight Sparkle, consummate scholar and thaumaturgist.
Twilight got up in a huff and walked out of the room. Though she was annoyed she couldn’t help the small smile she left with. The mare was just likable.
In her room, Seeking Song collapsed on her bed and closed her eyes. The day’s excitement was catching up to her. Mentally, she called up the ever present knowledge of just how much time she had left: six months, three days, twenty three hours.
Right on schedule.
Bang.
A groan of annoyance escaped from under the pillow and Song tried to bury herself away from the noise.
Pop. Sizzle.
The sounds of laughter and enjoyment filtered through the door and Seeking Song finally rose to investigate. Suddenly everything went quiet. Seeking Song rubbed her eyes tiredly and forced herself to look rested. I’m always so tired now. It’ll be... nice... when this is all over. Seeking Song opened the door to pitch black library and looked around.
Berd creaked quietly and Song understood what was going on - a surprise party. She plastered a blank expression and waited for the inevitable.
The light flashed on, blinding her and everypony in the room yelled, “Surprise!”
Had Seeking Song been looking in a mirror, even she would be unnerved by depths the of emptiness of her facial expression. For a moment, every pony in the room stared at the singularly unmoved pony before Seeking Song’s expression broke into a pleased smile and laugh.
Of their own accord, her eyes scanned the pony’s faces. From left to right, Twilight, a white mare with an exquisite mane, a yellow pegasus that seemed to shrink under her gaze, Pinkamena, a blue pegasus that stared back challengingly, and...
“S-song?” The orange mare on the right of the line stepped forward with a look of disbelief that hardened into determination, “Why are you here?”
Borderline hostility radiated from Applejack’s tense body. Seeking Song’s smile dropped and an expression of absolute anguish replaced it. Twilight stared at the abrupt change, unused to the depths of emotion on Song’s face.
Applejack’s stance relaxed a bit and she took a few tentative steps forward. Almost like a dam breaking Seeking Song’s barely repressed feelings of sorrow fully took control and she ran forward to embrace the orange mare.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Seeking Song clung to the mare that she had once considered her little sister and broke down into sobs. The tide of exhaustion that she had been holding at bay crashed over her again.
Slowly, Applejack’s forelegs wrapped around Song as she fell unconscious once more.
I never had enough time. I couldn't start a family. I couldn't watch my friends grow and change. I never rested while I journeyed. For years now, I've wondered if maybe I could have just ignored everything. Settled down. Took life at a slower pace. If I’d only stopped for a moment, if I could have had what I wanted. But I didn't.
I believed that I would have it all later. That I’d go over just one more hill and I’d be done. Just that one extra task and then I swear I’ll stop. Well, if there’s one thing I learned it’s that for ponies like us, that next hill is never the end. It’s always just one more.
Learn from my mistake, if you see that thing you want, that thing you shouldn't, couldn't want to live without - take it and never let go. I did. I hate myself for letting it go.
I fought so long because I thought that if I kept going, I’d have my happy ending. I fought because I thought that if I gave up, I’d not earned it.
So, life lesson number one: When you have it, you have it. It’s not a trick. It’s real. If you have a good thing, never let it go, not even for that noble dream.
Whoever said that it was "better to have loved and lost rather than never loved at all" obviously never knew what they were talking about. At least those that have never loved never felt the anguish I did.
Five ponies and a dragon watched their orange friend hold the white, tear-streaked mare. They looked at each other then back to the kneeling pair in front of them. Nopony wanted to be the first to ask all the questions on their minds. Fortunately, Rarity finally spoke.
“I’m not sure what’s happening, Applejack, but I’m sure you’ll start explaining?” Rarity asked.
Fluttershy next to her nodded in agreement, “Um... when you like...”
“Ah... ah’m not sure what to say... Twilight, did ya know who this was?” Applejack looked at her friend wearily. Absently, Applejack continued to gently rub Seeking Song’s back.
“No. She just showed up today. She was looking for a place to stay.” Twilight motioned to Seeking Song’s sleeping form, “She did act a bit oddly when we asked her about your family though. Didn’t want to talk about it...”
For a moment, Applejack’s face flashed angrily before changing into remorse, “Yeah... it’s family business and not my place to talk about it. She probably had a good reason for not wanting to tell ya.” Applejack hugged Seeking Song tightly one last time and sighed, “I have to go home. Granny Smith and Big Mac need to know she’s back. And Applebloom needs to meet her big sister,” Applejack rolled her eyes, “That’ll be a lively talk...”
Before anypony could process her statement, Applejack was already out the door and galloping toward her farm. The group blinked confusedly again. Rainbow Dash was the first to break the silence left in the wake of Applejack’s exit. “Sister?!”
The group took a moment to absorb the information. “Well... she seems okay...” Fluttershy finally spoke up in a pseudo-whisper. Uncharacteristically, she walked over to Seeking Song, picked her up, and carried her to her bedroom. The rest of the group followed her into the room.
“I don’t know about this, girls. Something’s fishy about her,” Rainbow Dash declared, “How come Applejack never told us about her. Having extra family around isn’t something you just forget to bring up.”
“You know very well how important family is to her, Rainbow Dash. She probably had her reasons for not telling us about her. She didn’t even explain how Ms. Song was related to them. It’s obvious that she wasn’t born an Apple, neither her name or her cutie mark have anything to do with them. I think we should let her tell us when she’s ready.”
The rest of the group settled around the bed and considered Rarity’s advice. In the face of such potentially interesting gossip, her restraint was due careful consideration.
Twilight nodded, “I think I agree, but if she doesn’t tell us anything for a week we should ask her.”
While the Elements discussed their friend, Spike had been watching Seeking Song. Since her attempt to hide her unique magic, he’d been trying to surreptitiously study her.
“What the hay...?” Spike’s eyes widened briefly. On the bed, Song’s body had slowly faded to gray and was becoming slightly translucent. She seemed to be shivering uncontrollably, and her face contorted into a determined grimace that hinted at great pain. While mares around him continued to debate, Spike climbed onto the bed and put a claw against Seeking Song’s side. He started and his reptilian instincts forced him to shy away from the cold that seemed to suck at the air surrounding the mare. Carefully, he extended a claw again - nopony should be that cold.
Seeking Song’s eyes snapped open before he could touch her again and blank granite replaced her previously pained expression: unyielding, hard, and ruthless. Her color and substance fought to reassert itself against the gray and after a moment’s struggle, white managed to overcome gray. She automatically turned her head to look at the one pair of eyes she sensed were trained on her. Understanding then anger flashed across her face before her expression softened and became almost pleading.
Spike almost spoke. Seeking Song shook her head minutely. Spike sighed and nodded.
Satisfied that he would not speak and that their exchange had gone unnoticed, Seeking Song broke into the discussion around her, “Not that I’m complaining or anything, but how did I get in bed?”
The five mares around her bed fell silent and turned their attention to Song. Fluttershy spoke up, “I... um... moved you after Applejack left.” She paused, “You... um... wouldn’t be able to talk about that would you?”
“Fluttershy!” Rarity exclaimed, surprised at her friend’s usually forward question.
Song smiled and shook her head, “Thank you. I don’t think I caught your name before...” Song waved in the direction of the library’s center, “that. Actually, I never got any of your names other than Pinkamina’s...”
Pinkie Pie bounced to Seeking Song’s side, “Call me Pinkie. Pinkamina sounds like a rock pony’s name. I’m a party pony. Marshmallow.”
The noun at the end confused Song slightly, “A-alright...” She turned to the rest expectantly.
Twilight stepped forward and gestured to everypony as she rectied their names, “So, the blue pegasus is Rainbow Dash. You know me, Fluttershy, Spike, and... Applejack...” Twilight frowned and reigned in her urge to interrogate Seeking Song, “and the white unicorn over there is Rarity.”
Seeking Song cut off her indignant question, “I met her on the way here. She looks a lot like you. I took a guess.”
Seeking Song forced herself to keep eye contact with the mare. In reality, while the resemblance between the two was present, it was another sense that told her that the two were related. In the back of her mind, a clear ringing GΔ emanated from the white mare. It was a pure, bright sound and it reflected a kind and generous mind.
“Oh, well then...” Rarity quieted with a huff.
Fluttershy spoke next, “We’ll... um... let you rest. Collapsing on the floor isn’t a good sign.”
Fluttershy’s quiet words were almost a god-send for Seeking Song. The white mare was reeling from the last half-hour of excitement and her battle with the Curse:Cordantia, but she was hiding it admirably. Seeking Song nodded, “I’ve been travelling all day, it was probably the stress from all that and then Applejack, I just need some rest and I’ll be fine.” She looked at Spike meaningfully.
The group filed out through the door. Spike, the last to leave, turned back and gave Seeking Song a long and piercing look. For a moment, Seeking Song could see the dragon Spike would one day become: ancient, wise... and sad. Spike spoke after a moment, “I don’t know why you didn’t want me to say anything, but what I saw... that can’t be good, Seeking Song. Bucking Discord turned Twilight gray like that and it was horrible enough, but you... I can’t even imagine. It took Celestia and the Elements to fix her but you just... forced it away.”
He turned away and made for the door but paused in the threshold and turned around, “What are you hiding?”
Spike did not expect an answer from the mare and so was surprised when she replied after closing her eyes and slumping in the bed, “I’m dieing,of course.”
Three simple words softly spoken carried a wealth of meaning for the small dragon, some he understood and a great bit more he did not. Seeking Song opened her eyes and smiled sadly at Spike’s suddenly grave, crushed, and too-old expression.
In that moment, he lost a small part of his innocence for bitter wisdom. One day he would face Death, whether his own or of somepony dear to him, and it would terrify him. Cold dread formed in the pit of Spike’s stomach. His friends... Twilight would eventually die. He would be alone one day. Alone.
He walked out of the room, away from the mare that had violently torn his naïve view of the world apart.
When he finally faced Death decades later it was not with the all encompassing fear that had struck him when he was just a child. The fully adult dragon faced the Death of his sister with a dignified and quiet bravery. Of all the mourners at the Archmage’s funeral, he alone sat without tears or sadness. He was defiant...
He was remembering a mare from his past. A white mare who had smiled kindly at him while calmly stating her own Death as fact. A mare who’d shown more courage in a single moment than he’d displayed in all his young life. A mare who’d fought and searched to defy the inevitable and had, in a way, succeeded.
“Spike, eventually you’ll realize that Death isn’t that scary at all. You’ll never really be alone, not really. Twilight will always be there, telling you what you did wrong and congratulating you on all the things you do right and so will everypony else you’ll know. Nopony is ever really alone.”
“You’ll have a choice. You can let it win or you can stare into it and refuse it the ability to tear at you. Hurt you.”
“I think we both know what you’ll choose when the time comes.”
He wins.
Sweet Apple Acres - AL 4 - Winter
“Granny Smith! Big Mac!” Applejack yelled at the top of her lungs, “Get in here! Ah’ve got to tell ya’ll somethin’ important!”
The urgency in her voice summoned her family from their places on the farm post-haste. They assembled in the large family room in the center of the house and started at Applejack’s disheveled appearance. Her stetson was knocked off and dangling below her neck and her mane was windswept and a few hairs had fallen out of the braid. She looked like she’d just run a sprint from the center of town - which she had.
“What happened to you, child? You look more untidy than the barnyard out back!” Granny Smith half-croaked, half-screeched. Granny Smith gingerly sat down in her favorite rocking chair by the fireplace and eyed her eldest granddaughter worriedly.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac was looking at his sister with concern as well, “You run from town or something?”
Applejack nodded vigorously, “Now, brother, don’t’cha go runnin’ off when I tell ya but there’s someone in town you need to see.”
Big Mac turned his head quizzically, “Really, who?”
Applejack grinned, “Applebloom’s biggest sister.”
Big Macintosh’s expression froze and he abruptly seemed poised to run. He began shaking, “Applejack, if this is some kind of joke, it’s downright unkind...” In spite of his warning, his eyes clearly flared with restrained hope. Internally, his heart soared.
“Nope. She’s here. Ah wouldn’t ever lie about this.” Applejack turned to Granny Smith who had been silent during the brief exchange. “Where’s Applebloom, Granny Smith?”
Granny Smith sat down on a couch, her usually borderline senile personality tabled for the moment, “She’ll be home from school any moment now. Applejack, are you sure now’s the right time for this? That filly Applebloom is friends with needs all the friends she can get right now. Taking Applebloom away right now seems downright unkind.”
Applejack straighten up at her grandmother’s seriousness. Her expression fell for a moment before rallying, “Family comes first. Sweetie Belle understood that before. She’ll understand now.”
Granny Smith frowned but nodded, “I suppose.” Under her breath she sighed sadly and muttered quietly, “Though who’s to say she isn’t as good as...”
Big Mac sat down on a couch and motioned to the other end for Applejack to sit on, “How is she? Did you talk to her? When did she get back? Why hasn’t she come here yet?”
“Hold on, brother, one question ata time. Uh... she just got here. Twi said that she’d just teleported into town yesterday. She’s at th-”
“Hold on an apple-picking moment! She teleported? She’s an earth pony!” Big Mac declared forcefully. A small frown graced his face that quickly morphed into loneliness and pain, “She’s still... her... isn’t she? She hasn’t changed?”
Applejack looked at her brother oddly, “Ah’m not sure what yah mean by that, but yeah she’s an earth pony alright. If it wasn’t Twi that told me, Ah wouldn’t have believed it either.” Big Mac nodded and brought his emotions under control and Applejack continued, “She seemed fine when Ah saw her, a bit tired I guess... but she hid it well. If it wasn’t for my Element, I probably wouldn’t have noticed but nopony can lie to me, not even with their bodies.”
Applejack paused, “Um... Ah didn’t exactly talk to her... Yah see, she sort of, well...” Applejack took a breath, “grabbedmeandstartedcryingandAhswearAhdidn’tsayanythingtomakehercryAhpromise.” Applejack said the last sentence in one breath and expected her brother to start yelling. She hadn’t even told him the worst part, that she’d passed out in her forelegs just before she left. To her surprise, he just nodded and considered his left hoof, “Well, I think I ought to go see her then.”
Had anypony seen Big Mac when he left his family’s farm, they would have noticed something rather curious. On his left foreleg, a plain band of gold was clearly visible where before there was no ornamentation at all. In his mouth, he gingerly carried a silver band studded with diamonds and sapphires.
Ponyville Library - AL 4 - Winter
Twilight thought she’d seen all of Spike’s moods and faces. She’d raised him, loved him, taught him - made him family in all but blood. The Spike she saw leave Seeking Song’s room was not the same Spike that had entered the room minutes before. Gone was the almost dangerously naive light in the dragon’s green eyes. In its place was a gaze of fear and realization beyond what a child should bear. When Spike met Twilight’s eyes, it was no longer with blind adoration for an older sibling, but with a weightier understanding of what she meant to him and a dose of fear at its eventual loss. Uncaring of how it appeared, Spike crossed the room to Twilight’s side and hugged her tightly.
Fear set into Twilight’s heart and she whispered, “Spike? What’s wrong? What happened?”
The dragon in her forelegs pulled away and tried to smile, “Can I go out for a while... just for a bit... I need to think.”
Twilight’s mind raced, attempting to link a cause to her little brother’s abrupt change in demeanor. Her eyes narrowed and she glanced at the door to Seeking Song’s room suspiciously. She made to go into the room when she felt restraining claws on her chest, “Don’t. It’s not her fault. And she needs to rest. Really needs it. If you have to yell at someone, yell at me. I asked her a question I wasn’t at all ready to hear the answer to.”
Spike let go of Twilight and with a final hug walked out the door of the library to work through his new thoughts.
Soon after he had left, the rest of the group had to depart. Rarity and Fluttershy had obligations they had to fulfil and Rainbow Dash needed to go home to feed her pet, Tank. A part of her wanted to beg her friends to stay. She didn’t want to be alone in the treehouse. In the end, she decided to leave as well.
Twilight went up to her room and retrieved her jacket and favorite scarf. She looked one more time at Seeking Song’s door before leaving out the back door. She didn’t see or hear the large red stallion that entered through the front door of the library and looked around. He hadn’t set foot in the tree for ten years and yet it seemed like the most familiar, comforting place in the world. He knew where to go, having memorized the tree’s floorplan long before the current inhabitants had.
He carefully walked to the guest room door and pushed it open. He’d intended to just leave her band on the bed for her to find, but Big Mac’s plan was completely derailed when he saw her. She was sleeping fitfully in the bed, shivering and nearly quaking though he couldn’t tell whether from cold or nightmares. He gently walked over to the side of the bed and gazed longingly at her face, the face he hadn’t seen for nine years. The face he’d dreamt of almost every night since their second year of high school.
His wife’s face.
In a move that would have shocked anypony that thought they knew Big Mac, he gently laid his wife’s band on the bedside table and got under the covers. He wrapped his forelegs around his wife and carefully pulled her into his chest. Her shivers slowly ceased and a happy sigh escaped the mare’s lips. Big Mac contented himself gazing at his Song’s lovely face and waited for her to awaken.
Seeking Song’s rest hadn’t been so profound since she’d been in a coma after her accident near the Griffon Highlands. She was warm - finally, blissfully warm. For so long, her rest had been frigid, no matter what temperature the room or the number of blankets, she was always so cold. She had almost forgotten just what it felt like to be warm and held tightly in-
Wait. Held? Her breath caught and she refused to open her eyes, I’m dead. I calculated wrong. There’s absolutely no w-
“Hello, Seeking Song...” His deep voice quietly reverberated through her head, filling its cold corners with light and warmth. Seeking Song buried her head in Macintosh’s chest and started to cry quietly, I know this is fake. There’s no way he doesn’t hate me. It’s a dream, a cruel wonderful dream but still a dream. She adamantly refused to acknowledge that the deep bass AΔ7 that Song had only ever heard in Macintosh’s presence was soaring joyfully around her.
“It’s alright. It’s okay, everything will be just fine, Song.” Seeking Song could feel a large hoof gently rub comforting circles on her back. In the face of her stallion’s comforting actions, she slowly calmed down and lay quietly against Macintosh’s chest. The slow steady rubbing didn’t stop and Seeking Song slowly came to the realization that she was not dreaming.
“How can you stand to even be in the same room with me...?” Seeking Song spoke into Macintosh’s chest, “After Canterlot. After nine years of silence. After... abandoning you right after your parents died. How-?”
Macintosh very gently kissed Seeking Song’s forehead, “I won’t lie. For a while, I was right furious... but I couldn’t stay mad.” He shifted a bit and used a hoof to tilt Seeking Song’s head up to his. He looked at her until she opened her eyes and he forced her to make eye contact, “You were... are... my family. You were then. You are now. And you may have left. You may have done everything you could to force me to let you go, but I couldn’t and I don’t think you did either.”
Macintosh, brushed a hoof down Seeking Song’s muzzle and slowly leaned give her a light, sweet kiss - their first in nearly a decade of separation. Seeking Song almost gave in to the urge to continue but pulled away, “Do you... forgive me? Please say you forgive me. I can’t-. I don’t-. I’m back for good now, Mac. I don’t want to be here and think I’m causing you pain, I’ve caused enough as it is.”
Macintosh nodded and smiled, “I forgive you, Seeking Song. I forgive you for leaving me and our family. I forgive you for Canterlot. And I forgive you for disappearing.” Seeking Song could almost feel the largest weight on her lift away. For so long, she’d lived with the knowledge that she’d as good as tortured her husband and her family. She would have broken into tears again had she been able to, but in her husbands forelegs and all she could feel was a quiet peace.
Ponyville Town Limits - AL 4 - Winter
Some minds age quickly. They leave behind childish things for the mantle of wisdom, knowledge, and responsibility. Almost all foals do so by choice - two did not. The first, a child of esoteric knowledge and boundless imagination, was walking through the scenic park that ran near the small creek that signaled the end of the town’s limits. He did not really pay attention to where he was going, but he couldn’t have helped himself anyway. When he finally, inevitably tripped, it was over a soft white filly laying in the snow and staring vacantly down the road to a distant Canterlot - the second foal.
Had anypony seen the two, they would have been unnerved by the lack of response both showed. Had it been any other day, Spike would have been beside himself with embarrassment and worry for the small filly he’d just stumbled over. Today, he just recognized a kindred spirit. He sat next to the filly, and leaned against her side seeking warmth but finding none. In his jumbled mind, alarm bells started to ring but he couldn’t concentrate on them enough and they eventually fell silent.
“Sweetie Belle?” Spike called her name to get her attention. He really needed someone to talk to about what he’d realized or maybe just to get a small sense of familiarity and friendship, anything to weather the storm of fear and unidentifiable emotions raging inside his mind. He received no answer.
Sweetie Belle stared at the far towers of Equestria’s capital city and wondered what Princess Luna was doing. It had been months since the Princess had sealed her magic away and promised to return with a more permanent and less drastic treatment from the loss of her horn. From seemingly far away, she heard a small voice calling out, it’s words unintelligible. She absently reached up and rubbed the jagged, star-shaped scar on her forehead.
“Sweetie Belle!” Spike finally resorted to raising his voice. The filly beside him blinked slowly and looked around in a daze. She gazed at Spike blankly and started to stare. A minute passed... Two... At five, Spike could no longer stay silent, “What? I just wanted to talk to you.”
Sweetie Belle smiled and lowered her head to rest against Spike’s back. She mumbled something inaudible, nodded and spoke up, “Sorry. I was... thinking. What do you need, Spike?”
The dragon moved closer to the filly, the warmth that had been absent a few minutes before had suddenly appeared - almost as if it had always been there but he hadn’t been able to feel it. He wanted to ask her about it but forced himself to put the mystery aside. “Um... this mare... she came to the library today. She was looking for a place to stay. She said she was the original owner of the library.”
“Well, Twilight let her stay. She’s paying room and board and stuff, though. Anyway, first, she takes out this instrument, some kind of flute-”
“An oboe. It’s an oboe.” Sweetie Belle corrected.
“How woul-” Sweetie Belle cut Spike off, “I met her before school. Her name’s Seeking Song.”
Spike nodded, “Yeah. Anyway, she takes out her oboe and she does flippin’ magic. Bold as anything, I swear, when she told Twi she just about threw a fit. Apparently, Song broke multiple rules of magic.”
Sweetie Belle nodded and schooled her expression to careful neutrality. Inwardly, she was just about hopping with joy, she might have a way to keep her magic, magic she’d only begun to use before her accident.
Spike continued on and his expression, thus far calm and collected turned a bit darker, “Later, we were going to throw her a party... but some stuff came up.”
“What kind of stuff?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Spike paused for a moment unsure how to proceed. After a short deliberation he decided on a question, “Did you know that Applebloom has another sister? Other than Applejack?”
Sweetie Belle’s eyebrow quirked, “No. She never said anything anyway.” Sweetie Belle frowned, Seeking Song had seemed odd but this string of random, potentially earth-shattering coincidences was ridiculous. Spike quickly explained Seeking Song's and Applejack's reactions to the other and Seeking Song's collapse.
Spike’s eyes regained their former dull, far away look. “After all that... nopony was paying attention. She... she was like a ghost. Do you remember what Rarity was like when Discord got to her?” Sweetie Belle shuddered and nodded, “It was like that only so much worse... It was horrible, she was shaking and she looked like she was in pain. And she just... slept through it. It wasn’t even enough to wake her up... who does that? Who can just sleep through something like that?”
Spike jumped up paced furiously, “And then, she forced me to keep quiet, like it was no big deal! Like she was scared to tell anypony! I didn’t get it. And then I had to ask...”
Spike knelt in front of Sweetie Belle, “She told me... she’s dying. And she smiled! Smiled!”
He seemed to deflate, “She’s dying. And she isn’t afraid. Dear Celestia, I’ve never seen someone like her. She’s alone. She’s been alone for a long time but she’s still...”
Spike struggled to express his earlier revelation, “How could I possibly be brave like that? One day, I’m going to be alone. I mean, I knew before that I would live a lot longer than Twilight and the others but... I never really knew. What am I going to do when they’re gone? How can I face them when I know that they’re going to DIE!?”
Sweetie Belle barely reacted to Spike final outburst, only reached out and pulled the young dragon and hugged him to her. She had not thought consciously of what she was doing. She only knew she had to do something - desperately needed to do something. And while she didn’t have any answers for him she could offer him comfort at least.
Spike’s jumbled emotions finally released themselves in a torrent of glowing and burning tears that melted the snow in front of the pair. He wrapped his arms around the white filly next to him and let himself feel his fear and the shadow of loss he knew he’d feel when he lost all his family - when he’d be alone, and he would have to be brave.
Of the two children, only one could hear another set of sounds. Through Spike’s tears and quiet sobs and shudders, Sweetie Belle could hear music. It was coming from the too young and yet suddenly too old dragon in her forelegs.
And it was beautiful.
Ziyamba Ulok ‘The City Circle’ - AL 4 - Summer
Far away, a stone obelisk began to hum loudly. The zebras around it immediately turned to it to watch the spectacle that seldom occurred around the revered object. Every Zebrican knew that the obelisks were only illusions. Told through songs and stories and histories only whispered about behind closed door, the unwillingly guarded secrets of the old Composers were alive and well in Zebrican life.
It shone brightly and an unearthly screech of incomprehensible instruments and sounds filtered through the stone. It increased in volume steadily until no zebra could stand to listen without covering their ears with their hooves. The sounds grew and grew until finally in a violent crescendo, the obelisk fell silent.
Almost in unison, all the zebra’s within hearing range bowed their heads respectfully and mournfully. Another fledgling Musician was dead - killed before they could fully harness their musical abilities. Curse:Cordantia had claimed another of the line.
Twilight Sparkle walked down the hard-packed road to her friend’s apple orchard absorbed in thought. The road itself was empty as far as she could see and she was free to focus all her attention on the enigma that Seeking Song presented her. In only a few short hours, she had been picked up by the circumstances and tossed about like a leaf. First, an unknown mare claiming she had grown her library had shown up, proceeded to break multiple laws of magic and biology, and then to top it off, she’d said something to seriously upset Spike. The last was the most pressing to the analytical mare.
She’d obviously done something to him. Sure, Spike had said that it was his fault, but that didn't change that it was her that had caused whatever melancholy Spike was feeling. Twilight snorted angrily and scuffed a hoof in frustration, But I can’t really blame her. Spike shouldn’t have been asking about something that could even have the potential to upset him so badly.
Twilight rounded a bend in the road that led around a dense copse of trees and finally Applejack’s house and barn came into view. Turned around and started walking back down the road before stopping for a moment to deliberate talking to Applejack so soon after she’d gone to tell her family about Seeking Song. Twilight sighed and turned around once more to walk up the path to Applejack’s home. She really needed to talk to somepony about Spike and Applejack was the best at giving advice about family.
She went through the gate with the farm’s name proudly displayed over the road and started toward the house that sat to the right of the barn. A few steps down the path, the sound of filly voices sounded out from beyond the bend that she had just passed. Their conversation was unintelligible as it filtered through the trees. Twilight paused, unsure what to do. Applejack said she needed to tell Applebloom about Seeking Song.
She deliberated for a moment too long. The three fillies on the path had caught sight of her.
“Hey, Ms. Sparkle!” Applebloom called out. She trotted past the gate and up to the lavender pony who fidgeted nervously, “What are you doing here? You need to talk ta mah sister?”
Twilight nodded hesitantly, “Yes. But it’s not important. I can come back later.” Twilight made to go around the fillies but Scootaloo stopped her.
“You don’t need to go. We’re just here to drop our stuff off so we can go crusading!” Scootaloo’s wings buzzed excitedly. Idly, Twilight Sparkle wondered how the filly could not fly given the speed and force of her wing strokes.
“Uhh...” Twilight hesitated and tried to think of something to say that would give her the excuse to return later. Before she could speak, Applebloom said, “She’s right, Ms. Sparkle. Come on in.”
The fillies passed her and Twilight hung her head, “Alright.”
The fillies spoke excitedly between themselves as they walked up the path to the front door. That is to say, Applebloom and Scootaloo were talking excitedly. Sweetie Belle was quietly following behind them. She occasionally offered a comment when the other two addressed her, but she remained silent otherwise. Something bothered Twilight about her, she couldn’t place it however. Suddenly, she had to shy away from the filly. The silence that she observed was not natural. It was not just that she was not speaking. She made no sound: No hoofsteps, no sound of breathing - nothing. The silence - the sheer impossibility of such silence - scared her in a way she could not explain.
For a moment, the thought centered in her mind and her fear increased until it was all she could do to just follow behind the fillies without balking and galloping away as fast as her hooves could carry her. The fear rose and rose until finally, magic erased the thoughts from her mind. As suddenly as the fear had appeared, it was gone. No trace remained in her mind or body. And she did not remember.
The slight pause in her steps went unnoticed by the three fillies that had, by now, made it to the door. Applebloom reached up and twisted the knob and entered her home. She called out for her family, “Granny Smith! Applejack! Big Mac! Ah’m home. And I brought friends for a bit.”
The group walked through the house and as an afterthought Applebloom also called out, “Ms. Sparkle’s here for Applejack too! Ah told her it’s fine if she came in.”
The group finally made it to the living room in the center of the farmhouse and they saw both Applejack and Granny Smith sitting in the room. To the others in the room, their expressions seemed normal and calm but to Applebloom their tension was clear to see in their posture and bearing. She held off on commenting for a moment and turned to her friends, “Why don’t yah drop off your stuff in my room, girls. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Applebloom turned back to her family as the fillies left and her previously bright dimmed, “What happened? Where’s Big Mac? Is he alright?”
Applejack fidgeted and Applebloom immediately caught her discomfiture, “Oh mah stars! He is isn’t he! He hurt his fool neck in the orchard didn’t he!”
Granny Smith spoke up, “No, child. He’s alright.” Applebloom paused in her nervous outburst and stared at her grandmother’s rare bought of seriousness. Applebloom took a breath, “Then what’s wrong?”
Granny Smith motioned to Twilight, “Ms. Sparkle, not to be rude but this is a family matter. Could you come back later?” Twilight gaped at the mare’s uncharacteristic formality and seriousness.
Applejack stood up, “Nah. Ah’ll talk to her. Come on, Twilight. I know you wouldn't interrupt this unless you had a mighty good reason.” The slightly veiled barb struck home and Twilight looked at her friend guiltily. The two left the room and the now silent octogenarian mare and her grandfoal and walked into the kitchen.
“Alright, Twi. What’s happened now? Did Big Mac blow up at Seeking Song?” Twilight’s initial question immediately morphed into another.
“How do I t- Wait, what? Big Mac? What do you mean blow up at Seeking Song?”
Applejack grimaced, “Uh...” She tried to lie but could not, “Oh... horseapples. Big Mac and Seeking Song are... together. As in married.”
Twilight stared at her friend and waited for more. Applejack glared back at her friend. “Tarnation, Twilight! This isn’t my story to tell. It’s Big Mac’s and it’s a family matter like Granny Smith said. It’s not any ponies business what’s between those two but ours!”
Twilight stepped back from her friend’s yelling and conceded, “Alright. I won’t push. The girls and I decided we’d let you tell us when you’re ready. I’m sorry I tried to pressure just now.”
Applejack blushed and apologized, “Sorry, Twi. Ah didn’t mean to get so angry but... this whole thing... it’s really messin’ with me yah know?” she sighed, “Well, everypony needs to know and you’re here anyway. Yah might as well be here for this too. And you can tell everypony about it if you like. I have a feelin’ that Song will be here to stay.”
Twilight nodded but didn’t mention that Seeking Song had said she was only staying in the treehouse for half a year. That didn’t sound like a pony that was going to settle down for a while.
Applejack sat at the table near the wall, “So why are yah here? If not Big Mac, what happened?” Twilight sat across from her and sighed.
“Spike... he was talking to Seeking Song when we’d left her alone and... something happened. He came out and he was more scared than I’ve ever seen. It was worse than Nightmare Moon. It was... was... worse than Discord. He was terrified!”
During her explanation Twilight had gotten more worked up than she intended and she got up to pace, “He said that I shouldn't blame her for anything. He wanted to go off and be alone but I feel like I’ve failed him. Something Seeking Song said terrified him and I don’t know what and I feel like I failed him somehow and it’s driving me crazy!”
Applejack watched her friend thoughtfully for a moment then spoke slowly, “Twilight, how old were yah when yah hatched Spike?”
Twilight paused in her pacing and mentally counted back the years, “I was... eight? Why?”
Applejack made a vague gesture in the direction of the window, “Well... you’re twenty-two. Ah know that you’ve raised ‘im and protected ‘im but he’s growing up. If you’re twenty-two he’s... what? Thirteen?”
Applejack got up and gave Twilight a hug, “What Ah’m trying to say is, yah can’t protect him forever. It sounds like he just found out one of life’s hard truths and he doesn’t know how to handle it yet.”
Twilight spoke, “But it shouldn’t have happened! At least I should have been the person to gradually teach him whatever it was that happened! He shouldn’t need to be traumatized by whatever it was!”
Applejack pulled Twilight down to a chair and forced her to sit. She thought for a moment, “Think of it this way, Twilight. Whether it should have happened or not doesn’t matter. What matters is what you’re going to do about it. When my parents died, it was Big Mac and Granny Smith that raised me and Applebloom. They couldn’t do anything when Ah finally figured out that my parents were never coming back. It was horrible, Twilight. It still is horrible. But they were there for me. And that was all they could do. So you can’t get stuck on whether what Spike learned should or should not have happened. It’s your job to be there for him now after it already has happened.”
Twilight pondered her words for a long time. While she sat and stared out the window, Applejack went around the kitchen preparing two mugs of heated hard cider. While her hooves took care of the automatic task of finding cups and their beverage, Applejack reflected on her own past and the incredible sense of loss and pain that had come with her parents’ death. It had been the most indescribable feeling she knew, at least until Big Mac had unloaded the next load of bad news, the loss of her big sister - not by blood but by heart and mind. Idly, she realized that she was almost grateful that Applebloom didn’t have memories of their parents. It was a blessing and curse to grow up as she had. She did not have to go through the soul-destroying grief that the rest of the family had gone through but at the same time she was well aware that something was missing from her life. Something she, Big Mac, and Granny Smith could never provide, at least not fully.
Eventually, her task was completed and she carefully lay down the ceramic mugs on the table. The clink of the mugs against the table finally brought Twilight out of her own thoughts of responsibility and action.
“Thank you...” she took a sip from the mug and raised an eyebrow at the alcoholic choice, “for listening. I know you need to talk to Applebloom about Seeking Song and I’m sorry I interrupted that. It’s just... I had a feeling you’d understand. You’re family is so close...”
Applejack nodded, “It’s alright, Twilight. To be honest, you five are almost like family anyway. Just because Ah have family matters to take care of doesn’t mean you need to get scarce.” Twilight nodded and got up to hug Applejack tightly, “You’re a great friend, Applejack. Thank you for that.”
The mares stayed in their position for a moment longer and broke apart, “I should find Spike. I know he said he wanted to be alone but that doesn’t mean that silent company would be appreciated. She picked up her mug and downed the rest of the alcoholic treat and promptly left. Applejack sighed quietly, “At least she’s not going to the library. That would be awkward...”
Ponyville Library - AL 4 - Winter
Nothing astounded Seeking Song more than how easily it was to relax in her stallion’s arms. Nopony but Macintosh had been able to reduce her to such a vulnerable state as she was with him. To the mare who had not rested, indeed not even considered resting until the day before, his arms and his easy acceptance that she would be back in his life was nothing short of a miracle. So it was no surprise that Seeking Song did not want to leave her stallion’s arms.
Thankfully, Big Mac had no intention of letting her go and so they lay on the bed with intermittent periods of silence and conversation. She told him bits and pieces of what had happened to her since their wedding in Canterlot. How she’d ventured to the Griffin Reaches for the Princess in exchange for her help with the Curse:Cordantia. She told him of her invitation to Wyrmhold, the center of culture and the capital for Dragonkind, and her winding journey to Zebrica. She fell silent after speaking of the Zebrican tradition of tattoos and sighed.
Big Mac nuzzled her cheek, “What?”
Seeking Song blushed, “Well. Um. Speaking of tattoos, what if I said that to infiltrate the il-Sirai I had to blend in. And um... get a tattoo?”
Big Mac looked at her oddly, “Well, I don’t think it really matters. How did you get in?”
Seeking Song buried her face in Big Mac’s chest and muttered something.
“Didn’t catch that,” he said. She looked up, “I... sort of... snuckinasaconcubine!” She finished in a rush.
Macintosh’s only reaction was to raise an eyebrow, “Don’t they need to get tattoos...?” He vaguely gestured downward and Seeking Song’s blush deepened.
Big Mac considered for a moment before shrugging, “I would say it doesn’t matter. You did what you needed to do and that’s it. I can understand that. I had to do the same raising Applejack and Applebloom. Sometimes... you just don’t have a choice.”
His tone sounded reflective and Seeking Song felt a horrible pang of regret. Sure, she’s had no choice but missing so much of her family’s lives seemed so wrong. Like betrayal. Like treachery.
“I’m sorry. Really I am. I wish I’d stayed,” she said sadly, “I wish I could have been there for our family. When I heard from Celestia that your parents had died after I’d left I almost came back. I almost gave up.” Her breath hitched and a few tears fell, “And I should have! Better to have given you and Applejack and Applebloom a happier life than what I did! I failed. I didn’t even accomplish what I set out to do. I could have been here. With you. And it wouldn’t have changed anything...”
Despair tainted her voice and Big Mac watched helplessly. She whispered brokenly, “We could have had a family. Like we should have. We almost had it and I ruined our chance...”
“No.” Big Mac said simply, “You can’t take all the blame for that. I should have fought harder. I could have done more to hold on to you or convince you. but it doesn’t matter now.” He slid out from under the covers amidst Seeking Song’s protest and held out a hoof to the mare, “We can try now. We have time don’t we?”
Song froze and Big Mac’s smile slowly faded, “Don’t we?”
Seeking Song seemed to shrink on the bed and she refused to meet his eyes, “No. We don’t.”
Big Mac shuddered at her desolate tone of voice, “How... how long before the Curse:Cordantia-?”
Seeking Song cut him off before he could say the terrible words that would break the rest of her fragile emotional control, “Six months.”
Big Mac slowly sat on the bed and a faraway expression crossed his face. The silence between the two grew and Seeking Song grew more and more nervous with each passing minute. Finally, Seeking Song had to break the silence and spoke fearfully, “Macintosh... say something. Anything.”
He looked at her and she could see in his eyes the same torture she felt each and everyday since she had learned of her curse. He opened his mouth once and closed it. A few moments later a few silent tears fell down his face and he asked, “Have you started writing your memories?”
Instead of answering, Seeking Song sat up to reach the table next to her bed and retrieved her ring. She carefully slid it on her left forehoof before walking over to her bags and pulling out two books. The first, The Middle Winds was battered and the edges frayed from travel and use.
The second was a gray-covered notebook. His control broke at the sight.
