Journal
Diary of the Late Eyn Spyyr
Day 1:
After many days, writhing on the ground, screaming out into the dark and lifeless void, and crying into the dirt until I exhausted myself to sleep, I have finally been able to focus my mind and write. I know of no pony that will find this, it is more to keep me sane during my solitude. I wish I could breath normally again, but as I move, I can feel the burnt skin around the various parts of my body crack and chip off. Death has escaped me once again. The pain is agonizing and the lack of food and drink are finally getting to me as the dust from my surroundings, kicked up from my bouts of scream and pain have left my mouth dry and rough. I thank fate for allowing me to die, though a curse them that I must suffer to it.
Day 2:
As fate would have it, it started raining. I am forced to lay and get drenched by the freezing rain, but as they cleaned my burns and the stub that once was my leg, the more I smiled. Is this how it will be? Does the Everfree want me to live and come back to her? I can save her. I can save my precious Luna from the corruption that has consumed her. I must redeem myself. I laugh at my own predicament though. I want to see her though as I hear the birds chirp around me I know it is neither the night nor the deepness of the hole that blinds me. Blinking slowly, I feel the familiar crust break from around my eyes and the searing pain of third and second degree burns from Celestia’s attack. How could she do that to me? What am I to her?
Day 3:
Only day three. I had my drink and managed to find a few patches of moss that had fell from the rocks above. The taste was vile, but sustenance was much needed and with a full belly I felt that I could finally try to stand again. Such an endeavor proved fruitful though not in standing. Instead, I discovered that my ribs and hipbone broken. The burns had all but wiped most my sensation of pain anymore. I slowly found that the clock for the day was the sun beating down on my pitiful useless body. As the pain rose, the sun rose higher until at midday, my pain seared through me sending tears down my face as I yelled out to anypony or anything to come either save me or kill me.
Day 50:
I took my first step. Not saying I made any others, but after days of being down here with my pointless journey, I’ve managed to keep my sanity for these 50 days. I’ve found food and managed to use some of my magic to create a water collection area. The rainfall in the Everfree is much more than in Canterlot. Maybe we should stop controlling the weather and just let it be free. Why must we be so controlling?
Day 53:
I walked a total of five steps, nearly crying with happiness. I gave thanks to Luna who I knew watched me at night and gave me the strength to return to her. Her love burned inside of me more than the burns that gave me daily torment. It would be worth it. She still loves me and once I get enough strength, I am going to fly out of this hole and walk back to Canterlot and apologize to Celestia, try to get her to forgive Luna. I would only want to feel her close to me again, her mouth against mine, her voice in my ears. I would accept my fate for treason and be executed for it. Just as long as I know that Luna is safe and happy.
Day 54:
The mind is a terrible illusionist. Walls of information flooded back to me when I tried to use my wings. Memories of them being broken off of me rattled me with the nauseating sickness. I vomited off in one of the side walkways of this crater, bumping into a few walls as I went. The only way I’d get out would be to find an incline or somehow channel my magic to get out. It’s hard to deal with, but I will stay optimistic. I have been wronged and the universe will correct itself. I defeated a great evil, and was wrongfully accused, and improperly buried. They will have to send a party out here to at least collect my body for burial.
Day 60:
I haven’t eaten or drank anything. Two months of silence and I can say the hope slipped quickly out from me. I fell into a claustrophobic panic as I opened my eyes to darkness once again. I moved too quickly and ripped open all of the thick scabs that now cover my body. At least I am healing, though I feel the damage in my mind is growing. I have nothing to talk to except this one sided dialog. I wish I had something to talk to. I’m so lonely. I’m so very lonely.
Day 65:
Drank despite wishing to dehydrate and kill myself. The water felt wonderful down my throat, but just as it hit my stomach, I threw it back up. The malnutrition and the countless open wounds on me had left for major infections that will surly kill me. I managed to cry despite being bone dry. I never thought I’d be so afraid of death. The more I cried, the more it became laughter. I knew what it meant. I was ready. I was ready to be free from this pain and misery. Free from this heartache. Goodbye Luna, I will forever love you, always.
Day 66:
I am practically smiling as the fever burns up my insides. I stuck my head inside of the watering hole I carved out randomly in the ground for water. I had wanted to just take a deep breath of water in and drown, but I chickened out and laid next to the water, head drenched, still smiling, knowing death was near regardless. I never thought I would welcome death.
Day 67:
Can barely move. I just want to say goodbye Journal.
Day 68:
*Only hearts with the names “Luna” and “Eyn” cover the page along with dry tear marks.
Day 80:
Why am I alive? Why am I alive? I shouldn’t be alive. Everything was there to kill me, yet somehow I live. Why can’t I die? Why won’t you let me die? Why? Why can’t I even do that right? Why can’t my body just die? I want die. Please. Please let me die. I beg of you, let me die. I just want to be with her again and not trapped in this void.
Day 85:
I’m so cold. I barely have any energy to stay up for more than a few hours before I go back to sleep. My dreams are my only form of solace, as this book grows old and unhelpful. Someone to talk to… I need someone.
Day 90:
What do you know? Why because I write in you? Does it look like I care what you have to say? Today has been terrible and you’ve sat there and mocked me. A month and a half, and all you’ve done is sit there and show me how weak I am. I’m done. I’m through with writing in you. Get out of my life!
Day 366:
I need you back. The animals have returned. I could hear the amazing ripple of the legs of the hydra stalking my hole. I called out to it to try and offer it some dinner, but it ignored me, or it found other prey to chase.
Day 494:
I found a slope that I can limp up if I prop myself up with the log I found. I swear it is at least tens of feet high up. Even though I can’t see, I sway from the fear of the height in which I must be at. I remembered its location so as to use it later.
Day 769:
My name is Eyn Spyyr. My name is Eyn. First name is Eyn. Last name is Spyyr. I’m going to rot in this hole forever.
Day 811:
I have so many friends. Found them recently. They were all just sitting around down here. It made me smile to finally have company. I showed them around and told them how I managed to keep the waterworks running and the small farms for grasses and flowers. I took their silence as amazement at my ingenuity. I told them all about how I got here and that help was on its way. Soon I will saved and finally get out of this hellhole. You hear me! I’m going to get out of here and I’m going to be free. I’ll be free to go find the tallest mountain and jump off of it to finally-
I have an idea.
Day 812:
I jumped off of the top of incline. It wasn’t as high as I thought it was and I landed on my back. I’m sure if I can get myself to go headfirst I can break my neck. It will just take practice.
Day 814:
Spent the whole day yesterday jumping off of the incline. My neck won’t break. After my fifth attempt I resorted to smashing my face against the sharp rocks on the sides of the crater. I’m sure I almost broke my skull open before I passed out. Will try again harder later.
Day 1124:
Happy birthday to me… Happy birthday to me… happy… happy. *tear marks have smudged the rest of the page. He seems to have just continued to repeat “happy”.
Day 1500:
I left the hole of this crater today. I finally left the void only to come face to face with an unknown and hidden expanse of countless dangerous creatures that could rend my flesh from my bone. It filled me with joy and happiness when I first thought of being killed by a might hydra’s bite, but as I walked aimlessly through the swamps I found it unsettling. Everything ignored me as if I didn’t exist. I ran into a hydra, a whole swarm of them in fact, as least five from the noises I could hear. I yelled and threw rocks at them, taunting them to end me quickly, but just as I heard them groan with anger, they quickly calmed down and ignored them. Is this how it must be?
Day 1511:
I gathered would and found that the rocks in the crater are flint. I found I could create sparks and create a fire. The warm heat helped and eventually I moved the fire to an outcropping to protect me from the rain. Leaving the cave helped regain my senses. I acted foolishly and cowardly. I will persevere. For you. Always.
Day 1683:
Fashioned a rough prosthetic to replace my missing leg. Even after all of these days, the pain still remains and I find myself cringing with each step. I gathered more substantial food from just smell and touch. I don’t know how safe the berries are, but it’s better than the moss. These days are beginning to meld together. Only the dates written in this book are a sign of how many days I’ve been trapped here. I’ve accepted that no pony is looking for me nor any pony is looking for me. I find myself staring up at night into what I imagine is the moon, for all I know, I’m staring at only stars.
Day 1684:
Vomited all night. Berries were not what I had hoped they would be and has only made me sicker. It rained, but with my new shelter, I remained dry and warm, which helped the fever.
Day 2046:
Took hot cools from the fire and burnt the skin around my eyes again. The pain made me feel alive as I finally began to focus on what I wished to do. Celestia. What will we ever do to you?
Day 3127:
We have discovered a great deal about everything including Him and myself. I never listened to Him before, but now with no one to talk to and so many days that have passed, His company is welcomed. He told me of ways to survive and how to regain my use of my magic. I was left a giggling mess when I heard the familiar sound of my magical aura gripped around the burning twig that I then pressed against my eyes to re-burn the skin. Pain was my focus. I had plenty of it.
Day: 3987:
He’s alive. I can’t believe he is alive. I met him. I talked to him. He talked to me though he sounded as though he didn’t recognize me. He had a girl with him. I knew her, but He said that I should trust her so I did. He kept asking me how I was feeling. “I’m completely fine. Ever since I was killed I’ve never felt freer.” I would tell him and the more he would become more uneasy, more distraught and sorrowful. He kept telling me he was still my friend, but he wasn’t Him, but I was still glad to have an old friend with me. She was also nice, treated me with respect and even her voice was filled with sorrow. “I hate to see you like this, Eyn. What happened?” She asked me. She truly asked me that. I laughed at such a silly question. “Betrayal.” Cracked through my laughing lips instantly silencing my joy and stabbing my heart with sudden realization. I sat down in the mud from the last night’s rain and stared into the wall. I can’t make sense of my thoughts, but having my friends back makes me happy.
Day 4012:
I finally saw myself again. Not in gaining my senses back, but with a trick that my friend taught me. Not Him. He has been silent for a few days. I don’t care. My friends are here and I am happy. I am happy to see again, but not happy at what I see. I only see me. The broken, muddy, dirty me. My mane had all but matted together into a single chunk of hair infested with bugs and grime. My face was covered in infection and the black crust from my ritual of burning my face over and over again. I am the monster I thought I was. They asked me that they needed my help for a way of helping me, but I don’t think they know what I know. We aren’t alone. They are coming back. Crystals and gems will rise once again as the pressure and heat of their presence rips across the lands, crushing everyone. One familiar with the fires and the pain will have felt they’re coming as I have. I know what I must do.
Day 4533:
The sound of a new pony around me has perked my interest. My friend refers me as Uncle Eyn. He doesn’t show the young one around me much, but I hear them talking that they are hiding here with me. It makes me feel warm with such a thought, but I am not hiding. I am trapped in this prison. Trapped in this prison of mine. With all of my friends. With me, myself, and I… They will know my name one of these days.
Day 4620:
I heard my friend call her his daughter. My friend had a daughter and didn’t tell me. I asked him about it and he simply hummed to himself. “Call me a strange father.” I didn’t understand him. Lyra, he called her. I liked her name a lot. Lyra. How pretty. I added Heartstrings to it. He seemed to like it. He told the mare of my addition. It’s been almost thirteen years since I’ve felt a hug.
Day: 4699:
I took a bath. He told me to do so. Clean up my act, He said. I listened to Him, though not because I was His puppet, but because I wanted to go back to a degree of normal I haven’t felt for years. The pain rituals had been halted for days as I have found the burns to be permanently existent on my face. I smile at the monster that I look like, broken leg, wings, and horn, with burnt eyes that shine like the moon. The moon… He told me that he met her once. She’s faring worse than me it would seem. Filled with rage and jealousy and vengeance. I want to hold her to get the pain out, but as I look at my broken form, no matter how clean it was, it wasn’t enough for her. I will ask my friend for assistance in my appearance. “Starswirl, I want to have a leg and wings back. I don’t care if they don’t work, I just want to feel them again.” I will say to him. He is a brilliant pony. I’m sure he can help me while she takes care of Lyra who is still nursing on her mother. Almost a year old she is and already I can feel her brilliance. Quorra’s motherly prowess has left me in awe.
Day 4926:
Her first word was “Eyn”. I felt proud to be her uncle, and so did He. I haven’t told them of Him yet. I want to keep it a surprise for them to find out. We are one big happy family. I miss her.
Day 5972:
I trapped them in time. I trapped them using their own magic. They won’t age or move, but they will always be there for me. I have remembered what Starswirl and Quorra told me. Only the voice of a young filly broke my reverie. I had forgotten about her. “Eyn?” She had asked, using the eyes that can see to see her parents locked in time with their own magic. I took her up in my magic without thinking and rocked her gently. “Hush now, quiet now, it’s time to lay your sleepy head. Hush now, quiet now, it’s time to go to bed.” I sang to her. With her in my magic, I felt her frail form relax and fall asleep. Comfortable, relaxed, and beautiful, she was. I turned back to her wonderful parents and smiled to them. “Your daughter is beautiful and you should be proud. Don’t worry she is in safe hooves.” I told them. I’m sure they would understand.
Day 6137:
You should see her, Starswirl. Her magic is blossoming quicker than I had thought possible for a filly, but with such blood in her veins I knew she would be a prime candidate to take your place. She asked about you and Quorra today. I took her down to your cave to visit you. She talked to as if you were both still awake. I found it cute at the same time I found that I wished that I could have been stuck in time with you both, but we both know why I am still out here and you in there. No words will ever be spoken of such, though young Lyra is coming of age to know her role. I just hope I’m healthy enough to send her forward. With a broken horn and lack of eyesight the magic focus needed would be insurmountable. I’m sure He will help. He always helps me when I need Him.
Day 7000:
It is the day seven thousand and Lyra is ready to know her role in our plan. I told her slowly and through the hardships of the Everfree, she accepted all as necessary though once I told her how she were to transit to the future, I could hear her breath quiver. She knew as anyone else my state of health and I didn’t blame her. She asked why I talk to myself at night and why I sound so different when I ‘make up’ the other’s response. She knows of Him. It may cast doubt on the plan. Modifications will need to made for transit making it that much more difficult. I spent the day practicing on a stick. Each time, the stick would come out five minutes later, carried in time, but the state of the stick was troubling. The bark was torn from it and deep gashes could be felt in the hard wood. It would kill her, but a one hundred percent success rate is needed. Doubt needs to be removed.
Day 7002:
He told me to kill her. It was the first time I have disagreed with Him. It felt wrong to do such, but the more he pushed and the more I rebelled the more I found myself recognizing the voice. It can’t be him. I try not to think that such a vile creature had found a safe harbor in my body. I wonder how long it will be before He consumes me.
Day 7013:
She’s gone, Starswirl. Lyra is gone. Early this morning we started on the spell. She had found a way of focusing my magic to make it more successful. We went to work immediately. The Time Hop spell was finished quickly, but the memory spell took more time to formulate. With such a combination of our minds and magic, keeping her unaware of my intentions was difficult and frankly without complete success. I felt her mind start to alarm at the reason for the secondary spell just as she was trying to break the link. Her voice broke the silence just as the spell snapped from my mind and activated. Through the crackling fury of the spell whipping around her and the collapsing of space-time, I heard her scream. The broken link had disturbed the spell slightly, but I am sure it wouldn’t have killed her. She would be transported right above where you are buried. I felt it fitting. Our sleeper agent has now arrived.
Day 7015:
Two days and I miss talking to her or you or anypony for that matter. I’m back to the silence of the woods. Questioning if I am still alive. I am aware that my breed will let me life for countless more years despite my bad health. The magical wings and leg helped me move, but beyond that, with you locked in that time stop zone, I could feel it fading. I took matters into my own hooves and I bolstered it with some of my own designs. What almost killed me before won’t even harm me. The extra weight only helped remind me that I was still alive.
Day 7828:
The pain rituals have started again, but with a more powerful focus. I burn myself, but I’ve also begun chanting her name, the end of her reign, and how we will be the victors. He has been quiet for a few months now. Equally, I learned of a solution to everything. You may not like it, but it shall be my own “addendum” to the plan. I will never leave her. I will never leave her.
Day 9465:
I can feel the corruption along my burns. He’s back and is starting his transformation. I had found a way to block him from my thoughts and I had formulated a plan as to how to stop him from coming back. It was the plan I mentioned over four years ago. If it doesn’t work, but Lyra sets you free and you find these random scribblings. I just want to say, thanks for being there. A pony could ask for no friend greater. And goodbye. But if I succeed, well, let’s see how long it takes before you can find me. The mind is a powerful thing and my body is weak. I’m sure I won’t put up much resistance. If you are curious as to what I have planned, just remember that stick. It should be over in five minutes. Goodbye Starswirl. Goodbye Luna. Goodbye Celestia. I promise I will protect you all. Yes, even you, Celestia. If no pony finds this journal before they know of my return, then count that I have succeeded in a magic that should never exist, magic I will never use ever again.
Yours truly,
The Late Eyn Spyyr
P.S. Luna. I will forever love you, and I hope you feel the same.
*The bottom of the page is covered in a brownish red stain. It is in the shape of the side of a pony’s head. The rest of the bottom pages are soaked with the bloodstain.*
The journal was found under a skull found at the bottom of a large crater in the Everfree. A strong wind had kicked up the dirt in the bottom, revealing the bones of a deceased alicorn. Five days later, a small group of friends were travelling to the crater. One came back with extreme wounds to her body, but miraculously she pulled through and survived. None of them will answer what happened in the woods. This reporter investigated and turned up this journal. Who this pony was, is a mystery. As for the capitalized He and Him, we assume to be the onset of schizophrenia from prolonged social deprivation.