But you're not doing nothing, Anon!
Anon was sitting there somewhat next to Canterlot’s main marketplace, minding his own business. He was just meditating on the street as ponies walked by him. Some probably glared at him, but he didn’t care. He was too busy just folding his legs in and closing his eyes. He hummed softly to himself and imagined himself thinking about Celestia trotting in a clearing… and then Luna too. He smiled and almost shed a tear—
“Hello, Anon.”
He blinked before turning to the noise in question. “Oh, hey Twilight.”
Purple horse with purple wings and purple eyes purpled purplely purp—Anon knocked himself upside the head—Book pone looked at him with a smile… that somewhat morphed into a tilted pair of lips that matched her even more tilted head. “Uhhh… are you okay?”
“My brain short circuited. Don’t worry.” He gave her a thumbs up. “So, how can I help you?”
She sheepishly grinned at him. “Nothing really! Was just passing by and saw you doing… that.”
“Meditating?”
“That’s what that was called?”
Her eyebrow raise made Anon wonder if she usually touched grass or if she didn’t. He betted forty bits on the latter. “Yeah. It’s pretty important to do if you’re stressed out.”
“Really?” she asked and walked closer to him. She was now right beside him, sitting on her flanks. “Can you teach me?”
Anon spotted her tail wagging a tad. Silly pone. “Of course!”
She neighed happily and clopped her forehooves on the ground to show her appreciation. Anon nearly died at the scene, but chose to keep himself alive, if that was any consolation prize for witnessing a Princess, of all ponies, sit beside him like she just discovered fire.
“So… what do we do?”
Her tail was now wagging even more than before. Was she always half dog? “Well, make sure you’re comfortable first.”
“Should I lay down completely or?”
Anon shrugged. “If you’d like.”
She giggled. “Okay.”
Anon watched as Twilight stayed still and closed her eyes.
“Now take a deep breath.”
She sucked in a stadium’s worth of air.
“And let it all out.”
And let it out she did. He could’ve sworn his nose wasn’t numb before. Was her breath supposed to be frostbitten? He blinked and pinched his nose. “Wow, it’s still there.”
Twilight opened her eyes and looked at him. She gasped and scrambled to see him. “Are you okay!?”
He put a hand out to stop her from touching his face. “Yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll live… without the sense of smell for a while.”
Anon shook his head. “Now, let’s get back to our zen state—”
“Zen state?”
“Comfortable feeling of freedom. Zen.”
She raised a brow. “Okay…”
She took a deep breath again, and then exhaled a bit lighter this time. Thankfully she didn’t freeze Anon’s nose this time around.
He watched as she breathed softly. She lightly licked her lips and smiled.
“I just thought of something funny.”
“What?”
“Pinkie Pie trying to prank Rainbow Dash with tweezers.” She giggle-snorted. “Oh, and some cupcakes. Not sure why.”
“Twilight. Stop thinking about that!”
Anon’s warning was too late. She was chuckling to herself behind a hoof. “S-Sorry! It… It’s just t-too funny!”
He rolled his eyes. “Alright, Twiggles. Just take a moment to get it all out. I’ll wait.”
She laughed. Belly flop laughter. She rolled on the ground, made a few snorts that divulged into giggly gaffs, and then she got herself together, her wings furling back to her sides. She smiled and wiped her eyes. “I’m… I’m so sorry Anon.”
“Don’t apologize to me. Your ponies over there thought you were subjected to laughing gas.”
Twilight’s eyes widened as she turned and saw the crowd that formed around them. “U-Uh… Sorry, everypony! I’m fine. Nothing to see here.”
Everyone around them just shrugged and went back to their lives. Except Anon. He had Twilight ‘The Giggles’ Sparkle to thank for that.
Speaking of, she turned back around to look at him and sheepishly smiled again, her pearly whites being shown only for him to see. “I’m really sorry—”
“If you apologize one more time, Sparkles, I’ll think you’re Canadian.”
“Sor—err… okay, Anon. I’ll try not to.”
He felt his lips tug upward. How wholesome…
“So how do I stop thinking about them?”
…and then she ruined it with a question.
“Just… don’t,” Anon said, shrugging.
“Don’t… what?” Her muzzle scrunched up at those words, like they were not normal for her to say.
“Exactly. Don’t. Just viiiiibe.”
That muzzle scrunched up even more, which made Twilight yelp. ‘A-Are you… sure?”
He nodded. “Yep. It works for me!”
“W-Well you can’t think about nothing.”
“Yes. You. Can.”
…
“How?”
That question threw Anon into a tizzy. How did one describe nothing? Hmm…
Suddenly, he got the best vision ever. Himself. Green, a question mark, and a mirror. Nice…
Wait, he was supposed to help Twilight do that. Quick, think of something stupid!
…
Anon took a deep breath and snapped his fingers. Then, he closed his eyes. “Okay, I am zen. I am Anon. I am not losing brain cells.”
He was losing brain cells.
Twilight sighed. “Anon?”
He opened them again, sparing a glance at Twilight, who was looking at him worriedly. He sighed. “What’s up?”
“Is that how you think of nothing?”
He nodded. “Yeah… I just think of myself for a second, then I think of literally anything that isn’t something I’d normally think of. Like Celestia running in a field or something.”
Twilight blinked. “But that isn’t nothing, Anon.”
He blinked. “True but—”
“And really? Celestia running in a field?”
“Yeah? Why, are you—”
“Like, you could at least think of me running in a field and—”
Anon’s eyes widened as Twilight plugged her own muzzle with her magic, which sealed her lips shut. The goofball book alipone looked up at Anon with shock that not even he could withstand.
“Uhh… Twilight?”
“Mhmm?”
“Did you mean to say that?”
“Mmm hmmm.”
“I’ll take that as a no.”
She tried to do something but her magic wasn’t letting her. She undid the spell and opened her— “Sorry, Anon! I didn’t mean to say that and I—oof!”
Anon decided to make Twilight ‘Unable To Not Think’ Sparkle to stop thinking. He hugged her close and petted her mane. “Just stop, Twilight. Stop thinking.”
He could feel her squirm in his grasp. And then she sighed and succumbed to his awesomeness. She nuzzled into his green hand. “Thank you…”
“No problem, Twiggles.”
The two sat there, smiling. Anon was thinking of how much of a dog she was. Twilight was probably thinking of books or something. Whatever that pony thought of when she was happy. Maybe her friends or something?
Wait… that’s what made her start laughing and—
Twilight giggled.
Anon threw his hands up in the air.
It had been a few days since their public little hug session and zen attempt in Canterlot.
That marketplace may not be the best place for zen in groups. So many distractions, and it was such a goofy place. Lots of ponies, and a few nobles too. Couple newspaper dorks took a couple pictures of Anon and her, and now they were in some hit piece detailing how scandalous the position he and Twilight were in while they were in public. The writers even went into a little detail (weirdly enough), where he was holding her in his arms and petting her—it was sooooo scannndallouusss!! Whatever. Jokes on them, Anon was into that.
So much so, he was now dating Twilight. And he was working for her as her Royal Advisor.
Yeah, crazy. How did he even manage that? Not even he could answer that question.
…
“Hey, Anon?”
Oh, speaking of the mare. She was smiling at him all lovingly, if he could even say that’s what she looked like. She was just a book pone, a purple one at that. “Yeah?”
“You want to…” Twilight began, her voice trailing off. She nuzzled up her whole body against him, her face rubbing into his open palm. “Meditate for a while?”
He grinned and frazzled her mane.
“Heyyy, I just fixed that!”
Anon laughed. Maybe she knew how to meditate now. She had her fair share of practice, after all.