Laziness is not a valid reason
"Can Alex stay with you while I'm in Canterlot?"
"Okay, sugarcube."
These two little sentences uttered this morning kept repeating themselves in my head while my eyes were focused on the train that was slowly picking up speed. Inside it was Twilight and Spike who were heading to Canterlot for something important. Something so important that Twilight said I was too important for such an event. Well, maybe that's not what she said. But anyway, I was left in Ponyville! And you know what the worst part is?
That Twilight decided that I couldn't take care of myself. Surely she couldn't have found out about all the deviations? No, she definitely couldn't. Anyway, Twilight decided to leave me in the care of someone. Under the supervision of Applejack, to be precise. And I'll be staying with her for the next couple of days.
Gritting my teeth, I looked down at the pony in the cowboy hat. Why am I so against staying with her? Well, let's just say she doesn't really like the fact that I'm afraid of the word work. And almost every time we meet, she "subtly" hints that I should be doing at least something useful in Ponyville. Yes, the fact that I patented a black marker does not count!
Sighing, I looked at the train, which was already well away. I wanted to start running, try to grab something and shake the Applejack goodbye. Or just run away somewhere. In short, I want to do the same thing that I've been trying to do all morning. Run away. But one thing was bothering me.
"Can you take the lasso off me already? I've already realized that you're leaving him very cool." I replied by moving my shoulders a little in an attempt to get out.
"So that you can try to escape again? I ain’t reckon I want that, sugarcube." Applejack replied, pulling the lasso slightly to get me closer to her.
Did I say that sometimes I don't understand her? Well, because I understand her without a problem. Built-in translator for visiting Equestria?
My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden feeling that I was being pulled somewhere and the words of Applejack: "Let's go. We could use an extra pair of hooves on the farm."
Having no alternatives, I started following her and trying to find a way out. Considering that I only have a marker in my pocket, I don't really have any options. Well, I have an idea. But for that, I need a solid ceiling over my head. Although I think the tree will do.
Nodding slightly to myself, I looked at the back of Applejack's head and said indignantly, "You have a conscience at all. You keep me tied up like an animal and you demand that I also work. How can you be so bad!? "
In response, Applejack just grunted and pulled the lasso a little before answering: " In the two months you've been in Ponyville, you haven't done anything useful. Besides, I really need a little help on the farm. And the strange shape of your hooves is perfect for that. "
Hands, it's called hands! Oh, it doesn't matter. Pony, most of the time even my name is pronounced incorrectly. Although Twilight has improved recently.
Having finished my thoughts, I looked ahead and was horrified. We are already approaching the apple tree line. Well, considering it's winter now, it's more of a tree line. Not the point. I won't be working, don't even think about it! In a panic, my eyes nearby were able to find a good support in the form of a large stone. Gritting my teeth, I put my foot on a rock to stop and said: "I'm not going to work, I'm, I'm, I'm not capable!"
Applejack stopped in place and turned around. After that, she looked at me appraisingly for a few seconds before saying calmly: "All the limbs are there, nothing is broken, so you can work. "
After that, she started walking forward again and my legs strained hard to stay in place. As she pulled me forward like a truck trailer, I spoke up again: " I'm lazy, Applejack! My efficiency at work is zero. Moreover, I am not interested in the results of my work. You're making life difficult for yourself!"
Here is the ultimate blow. I'm sure she has nothing to say to that.
Surprisingly, Applejack just kept pulling me forward and said just as calmly: "Actually, if you don't work, I can just leave you outside. Twilight said I have the right to do so while she's in Canterlot. After all, bad kids like you need to be raised. So the first lesson is for you, kid. Laziness is not a valid reason."
In the end, many cracks passed through the stone on which I was leaning and it is split into many parts. Despite the fact that I continued to resist, Applejack pulled me on without any problems. At this rate, my shoes will just wear off. D. . .
Suddenly I felt a weight on my shoulders and a hard thing on my lips. Oh no, not that. Looking up, I saw the thing I least wanted at the moment. Pinkie Pie. While I was looking at her in embarrassment, she waved her other hoof and said: "Hello, Applejack! What are you doing here with Axe? No, no, don't tell me. I'll guess. You. . . You're playing tug of war, aren't you?"
If only. If only.
"No, sugarcube, I'm trying to make this stubborn mule work. Well, because it's not normal that a fifteen-year-old doesn't do anything at all. At his age, I was already working on a farm as an adult pony!" Applejack said, adjusting her hat slightly. Oh, it's okay, it's not normal. Who cares?
In response, only Pinkie shrugged her shoulders and said, continuing to sit on my neck: "Oh, by the way, congratulations on another important day! To be honest, it seemed to me that you would only have one like this. But you turned out to be funny enough! "
" And that means I can't swear all day again? "
" Yes, that's right. "" Then what should I be happy about? "
" The fact that I will be there, that is, you will definitely not be alone! Pinkie said, standing right on my shoulders. Wow, it's so hard. At this rate, I'll fall and start rubbing my face against the ground. If that's how the absence of loneliness feels, then I'd rather find a cave and hide there.
You know, you shouldn't think about what you don't want to happen.
"Yes, Axe. Do not think about something bad. Otherwise it will happen and it will be very, very sad!" Pinkie said.
"I'm not a deodorant!" I said irritably before feeling myself being pulled forward and towards the ground. For a moment, I wanted to hiss and swear. But then it hit me. If I get hurt, Applejack will take pity and won't make me work. How can you make a man who's been dragged through the mud work, right?
I only managed to grunt before my face collided with the cold ground covered with snow. I was painfully rubbed against the ground for several seconds until Applejack stopped. Oh, I expected her to drag me along the ground a little longer. Well, to make sure not to work.
Well, we can only hope for the best. And it's better not to pay attention to this strange feeling on your forehead.
In the end, I felt someone grab me by the shoulders and put me on my knees. I wonder if I need to feel humiliated right now. While I was thinking, Applejack examined me before pointing at her forehead and saying, "You're all right, let's go to work now. Just get the worm off your face. "
" And don't swear, it's just a worm! " Pinkie Pie said from behind me. Not that it saved me from panicking. The worm is crawling right in my face. I don't even want to look at it. And why was he so close to the surface at this time of year!?
Calm down, calm down, I have an idea. You need to take the worm and put it in your pocket while no one is looking. No, wait, it doesn't make sense, it's winter. Applejack, minor injuries can't convince. I do not intend to inflict serious wounds on myself, I am the only one with my mother, I need to take care of myself. So I need to show Applejack how bad a job I can do.
Swallowing, I took the worm with my left hand and stood up on both legs. Seeing my willingness, Applejack nodded slightly and pulled on the lasso again before walking forward. Sighing, I began to look around for a thick enough branch. During my search, I asked, feigning interest: "Well, what kind of work do you want me to do?"
"It is necessary to cut down the dried branches from some trees. Well, there are a lot of such trees in the garden. Most likely, this will have to be done before sunset. Well, if you work hard enough. " Applejack said so calmly. Oh, has she always been like a prison warden? It's not like I talked to her a lot. And it's not like I'm in jail.
Nodding slightly, I found the right thick branch and asked, resting my foot against the tree: "Is this thick branch dried up or not? How do you define it?"
Fortunately, Applejack stopped and raised her head. After standing for a while, she said, not quite confidently, "Well, yes. It doesn't look quite alive. But cutting down such a thick branch will be very difficult. "
"Don't worry, I can handle this without tools."
"Okay, sugarcube, wait what!?"
Now!
"A sudden skateboard-free kickflip!" I shouted, spreading my legs before jumping up with all my might. My head hit a thick branch hard and I fell backwards to the ground. And most importantly, my vision darkened slightly. Everything is going according to plan perfectly. There will be a fast travel to the hospital now.
While my vision was getting dark, I saw Applejack in front of my face, who was extremely angry and said by kicking her hoof next to my head: "Oh, you! Bless your heart, you..."
"Applejack, the rating!" said Pinkie Pie with displeasure. Everything is getting dark, fast travel is working.
And so I blacked out.
In the next moment, I felt something lightly rubbing my forehead. Before my eyes opened, I heard Applejack's displeased voice: "So, is he okay?"
"Yes, just a little blow to the head." Replied a familiar Redheart voice. Great, the quick move worked.
Another proof of the power of my intellect.
"Hey, but you didn't even check Axe! You just told us to put him on a chair." Pinkie Pie's voice was heard. Oh, so that's why the surface feels so hard under my back. It seemed to me that it was just an uncomfortable bed.
"Which one of us is a nurse?" Redhead asked rhetorically. I wonder if she's already noticed that I'm awake or not? Well, I hope not.
"By the way, you don't have to try to pretend that you're still unconscious. Your breathing became faster and your fingers began to move slightly. Fingers, did I say that right?" Redheart continued by removing the hoof from my forehead. Oh.
All right. The plan is simple, you need to get medical alcohol. This is exactly what fast travel was made for.
Sighing, I opened my eyes and quickly took a look at everyone who is nearby. Applejack, looking at me with barely contained anger, nothing unusual. I assumed she really didn't like my fear of work. I know, I know, there were no prerequisites for such a conclusion. Anyway, Pinkie Pie is smiling slightly at me, which is quite expected. Redheart looks tired. There were also several ponies nearby who looked at me with interest.
Ha, that sounds like an idea. Putting my hand to my forehead, I began to breathe more often and pressed myself against the wall. In the end, I said feigning fear, "No, I feel it. The most terrible blow possible. Social phobia strikes again! I'm going to have a panic attack! And panic protection is not provided! "
" Actually, social phobia is the only thing you haven't been found to have. Plus, you have a very bad acting. " Redheart whispered in my ear. Okay, the medical alcohol plan will be implemented one way or another.
It just needs Applejack and Pinkie Pie to turn away. Or they left altogether.
After a while, I looked at Pinkie, and asked, "Hey, do you still have that white book with you?"
"Of course, Axe! This is a new edition so you don't have to worry about me not being able to answer your question anymore!" Pinkie said excitedly, pulling out a white book with the number two written on it from her mane. Hmm, it's really a new edition, there weren't any numbers there before.
Sighing, I asked with a slight wave of my hand: "So, now can you tell me what words you can't say when I have an " important " day? Whatever that means."
Pinkie nodded vigorously and opened the book before sitting down on the ground and starting to talk: "All right, Axe. It is forbidden to say bad words. You know them very well yourself. "
" No, I don't know. " No, you know, silly! "
" Nah, I don't know. " Are you going to stall for a long time, or are you going to put up with it and work on the farm? " Applejack asked. Oh, not you.
Wait, the lasso should have been removed when I lost consciousness. Like, because why keep someone who's unconscious tied up? Oh, I'm so logical.
"Never!" I said, abruptly getting to my feet and starting to run away. Oops, no, I didn't run away. Nobody took the lasso off me. Yeah.
Shaking my head, I sat down again and said, looking at Pinkie: "So, I do not know bad words. Please tell me not to accidentally say them."
"Well, you know the bad words. Like the one that starts with the letter F or, uh, B. " Pinkie replied awkwardly.
" I didn't know that the words forgotten and blade were so bad. " I said, and that finally finished Pinkie off. She stood in place with her mouth slightly open. Hooray, victory.
Now, Applejack. Uh, how do I get her to leave?
After thinking for a while, I turned to my main opponent and said, pointing my finger behind her back: "Oh, look what a beautiful bird there is! I've never seen such beauty in my life. If you don't look right now, you may never see it again. You don't want to lose this chance, do you? "
" I can see by your face that you're lying. """So my brilliant plan won't work on you?"
"Absolutely not."
I quickly turned around and said, "Hey, look, there's an apple lying on the floor in the hallway! Over there, in the dark corner!"
"Where!? " Applejack screamed as she galloped past me. She was in such a hurry that she even took off my lasso.
I have a couple of seconds. However, no more is needed.
I quickly turned to Redheart and said grabbing her by the shoulders, "Please, please, I need medical alcohol! Very necessary."
"To mix it with water? You're too young for that."
"What? What are you talking about? "
" Oh, well, if for another reason, then here you go. " Redhead replied before taking off her hat and exposing a variety of medical supplies, mostly bandages with ointments. She quickly took what she needed and handed me the medical alcohol. Um, it was kind of too easy.
Shaking my head, I put the medical alcohol in my pocket and asked: "Why would you even have a bunch of medical stuff under your hat?"
"To always be ready."
"To always be ready for what?"
"To the fact that you will suddenly come and ask for help specifically from me."
"You mean, in case someone asks you specifically for help, right?"
"No, I said everything perfectly. " Redheart replied with a mirthless chuckle. I must have already managed to get it. Well, because I've only had two problems lately, and Redheart helped me with both.
Uh, it doesn't matter. I have the medical alcohol. Today Applejack will understand that I can't be forced to work.
Before I could say anything, Applejack ran closer to me and stopped. She stared at me without saying anything, just putting pressure on me. Or is she admiring my incomparable beauty? Noticing my little grin, Applejack said with displeasure, "You lied to me."
"Yes, I did it."
"Aren't you ashamed?"
"Aren't you ashamed to make me do slave labor?"
"It's not slave labor if it's aimed at your upbringing, kid."
Just say yes. The brain can no longer withstand such a load.
Sighing, I nodded gratefully to Redheart before standing up and saying, "Okay, okay. Show me where the scissors are or something. So that I can cut branches from the trees."
For just a moment, I managed to notice surprise and even happiness on the opponent's face. But Applejack quickly recovered and squinted into my eyes before saying, "Why such a sudden change of opinion?"
"I've been thinking about a lot since you left."
"You've thought about a lot in a few seconds," Applejack said with an impassive face.
“Yeah. I became more mature, wiser and realized a lot. For example, the fact that I can't resist you. Especially considering that you carry this lasso with you all the time. I finished with a small smile.
I hope this is convincing enough for her.
Applejack continued to stare at me with displeasure before shaking her head and saying, turning towards the exit, "Okay. I'm sure you're up to something. So it's better for you to give up your ideas, otherwise it will be worse."
Rolling my eyes, I followed her and felt somehow unusual. I've been in the lasso since this morning, and now I'm finally free? I can't believe it. Rubbing my sides slightly, I said with a grateful smile: "By the way, thanks for taking off my lasso. It's already starting to tire me out."
"Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you for reminding me, partner!" Applejack said with a grin before quickly lasso me and pulling on me so that I wouldn't fall behind. Oh.
My tongue is my enemy. No, wait, my enemy is Applejack!
With a disappointed sigh, I began to follow Applejack and think about my plan. As soon as they take me to the tree from which the branches need to be cut off, I have to somehow distract Applejack. A couple of seconds is enough. Now you need to figure out how to strike a spark.
I quickly looked around, trying to find at least something that could make a fire for sure. Surprisingly. No one threw a lighter right on the road. It's weird, isn't it? Well, I'll have to think about it. And do it intensively.
I'm thinking a lot and intensely today. It's already starting to seem to me that something is wrong here.
No, no, that's right, I'm trying to make Applejack leave me alone and not force me to do such a terrible thing as work. Nodding to myself, I noticed the only thing that can help me, at least theoretically. The stone is triangular in shape. Maybe I can make a spark using it. Um, but how do I get it if I'm being held tightly by a lass?
Sticking out my tongue, I looked at my shoes. Since ponies don't have a lot of experience in making shoes, Rarity made a little mistake when she made mine. Just a little bit. The right shoe barely holds on my foot and the left one is extremely tight. And this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I do not know my foot size, but then I was ashamed to say it!
When the triangular stone was close enough, I swiped my right foot so that it fell right into my shoe. To my own surprise, everything worked out. I have mastered my goals perfectly. Be afraid, enemies. Uh, in any case. Great, I have a stone with me. And constant tingling in the leg, yippee!
It doesn't matter, you need to take a deep breath and clearly repeat the sequence of actions in your head. Distract Applejack, medical alcohol, spark. Everything is exactly in this sequence. It would be very stupid if I mix something up.
Before I could take a breath, Applejack's voice interrupted me: "Okay, I'll tie you to the fence and go get everything I need. Don't run away anywhere."
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the lasso they were holding me with was tied to the fence. Rolling my eyes, I said after Applejack: "As if I can go anywhere, tyrant!"
"It's for your own good." Applejack replied, waving one hoof before entering the barn. Uh. I wonder if she's so mean to everyone or just to me?
Think about it. A person who works hard cannot be good. Because I'm too tired not to be angry.
Sighing, I shook my head slightly before looking away. Oh, the cow. I wonder if she can talk. Although, if the cow could, she would have already told me something. After all, I'm so likeable. Everyone loves me. Especially my powerful intellect is admired.
Suddenly I felt myself being pulled somewhere and turned away from the cow. Applejack had already untied me from the fence and was holding a large pair of scissors in her teeth with a dissatisfied look. Taking the hint, I took them and Applejack said before starting to walk again: "Great, now I'll take you to cut branches from trees. By the way, I want to warn you in advance that these scissors are very old. So it's not going to be an easy job. But your weird hooves and height will make the job a little easier. Don't thank me. "
I didn't expect anything else from this tyrant. Well, nothing. She only has to blink and my plan will come into action.
Eventually, Applejack led me to a massive tree that looked almost dead in itself. Do I have to cut off all the branches from it or what? My thoughts were interrupted by the slightly sad voice of Applejack: "Unfortunately, this tree is already very, very old. Oh, there are so many memories associated with him. It will have to be cut down soon. But I'll let you practice on it. There is no mistaking it. "
After a short silence, I clicked the scissors several times to check. It's hard, it's hard, my hands will fall off if I work. In general, if I work in any way, my hands will fall off. In the end, I looked at Applejack and asked, " Um, can you, I dunno, turn away? I'm nervous because you're watching my every move."
Surprisingly, she just shrugged and turned away. Oh, it's very simple. Does she really believe that I will be working? I don't do such creepy things! It doesn't matter, it's time to put the plan into action.
Breath. Exhale. It's time.
Quietly pulling the medical alcohol out of my pocket, I began to talk and at the same time pour it over the surface of the tree: "Now, let me gather my strength. These scissors are too heavy. And anyway, have you seen how massive they are? There are finger slots here, bigger than my hands!"
"Don't whine. I can't hear the sounds of work. " Applejack said, slightly annoyed. Is she really that fixated on me working? Well, it doesn't matter.
As soon as the alcohol ran out, I bent down slightly and pulled a stone out of my shoe. I started banging a rock against a pair of scissors in an attempt to strike a spark and at the same time continued to say: " Now, now, now. Right now. Now! Everything is going to be cool now. "
" All right, I'm turning around. You're stalling. Applejack said before starting to turn around, which made me knock a hundred times faster. Come on, my ancient genius ancestors one hundred percent carved fire with the same method.
The only difference is that they were threatened by dinosaurs and I was threatened by a pony obsessed with work. Yes, it was much easier for my ancestors to define.
Suddenly, one spark flew out and fell on a tree branch that was doused with alcohol. In the next moment, a fire broke out, which quickly spread to the entire plant. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Applejack's saggy jaw. Uh, it's getting hot in here.
I took a small step back and said in shock, clutching my cheeks: "Oh no! Oh my God! I just tried to cut off a branch, you yourself heard me actively snapping with scissors! I do not know how this could happen! "
For a moment, I was scared when I didn't notice any movements from Applejack. But after a couple of seconds, the silence was cut through with emotionless words: " Go. "
" Hmm, what's that? " I asked again, throwing all the things on the ground in advance. To be ready to run.
"GO TO THE BARN!" shouted Appledeck, abruptly removing the lasso from me. I don't need to be told twice, and I quickly ran away from her. Hooray, victory. No work! My extremely high intelligence is too high for this world!
Suddenly I felt tired and stopped leaning on the nearest tree. Maybe I really need to run a little more often. Although no, I couldn't sweat that much in less than a minute of running. He couldn't, could he? No, he definitely couldn't. Of course, today I worked a lot with my head to. . .
Wait. It seems that somewhere in my plan for the absence of work, I made a mistake. Oh.