Cold Moon, Warm Heart
Princess Luna shivered in the cold night air. She was bundled up well enough, but the occasional gusts of wind that blew through the park cut through fabric and fur, reverberating ice in her bones. Her head was tilted up, eyes locked on a break in the thick grey clouds that dumped huge flakes of crystally snow onto our heads. Through it, easily visible in the pitch blackness of night, a flouring of stars danced and twinkled, and Luna’s eyes glistened with adoration.
“It never loses its charm, does it?” I asked, wringing gloved hands together to keep them warm. It was not my ideal night to be out. Cold always seemed to get to me worse than other folk I knew. My ears were numb already, and my toes were beginning to feel the same way. I glanced at Luna’s face, still warm with love and wonder, and swallowed my complaints. I would sit out here on the worn wooden bench until ice flowed through my veins if I had too.
“Mm-mmn,” Luna replied, giving a small shake of her head. She blinked slowly, long lashes covered in frost framing her eyes. “It’s infinite. Every time I look, I see something new. Even in the familiar.” She sighed, and a cloud of icy mist formed about her nostrils and drifted away with the next gust. “But especially in the strange,” she added.
“Does it look the same? In Equestria, I mean?”
She finally brought her head down as the gap in the clouds closed, and smiled at me. “Yes, and no. It looks much the same, painted with millions of stars and galaxies and planets. But none of them are ones I recognize, or where I’m used to seeing them.” Her smile became a wide grin. “It’s fun, really! It’s like experiencing it all over again from the beginning.”
I smiled back at her, though cringed away from another blast of air that stung my cheeks and froze my nostrils. She was very close, especially now she had turned to face me. Were it not for the cold air flushing my face already, my blush would have been visible from space.
She, however, could hardly be seen from mere feet away. Her mane waved back and forth as it always did, irrespective of the unpredictable howling gusts. It was luminescent, but hardly so—black shone upon black, like a deepwater creature from somewhere in the Marianas Trench. The scant light it did cast off framed her dark blue face within the dark canvas of nighttime. Without focusing, it was as if large teal eyes were floating in the air.
It must have been on purpose. She specifically chose the park bench with the burnt out light. Sure, that helped her see the stars better, but when she first pointed a hoof at the seat and scampered off towards it, the clouds above fully concealed her pride and joy from her. Perhaps she felt like she stood out, walking about in this unknown land of bipedal creatures, and wished to hide for a moment. I was happy to indulge her.
My hands twinged, the fingertips staticky with the vestiges of numbness. Maybe not entirely happy to indulge.
“Would be a perfect night out with some hot chocolate,” I muttered playfully, breaking the silence. I rubbed my mittens together, though the friction did nothing to ease the chill in my knuckles.
“Oh, are you too cold?” Luna asked, her eyes wide with concern. “I’m sorry, we can go—”
“No, no! It’s fine. Nothing a Canadian can’t handle.” I chuckled, but a shiver betrayed me midway through, cutting the laugh with a chatter of my teeth. “This is nice.”
Luna rolled her eyes at me, and then shifted in her seat. I felt her jacket press up against mine—be still my fluttering heart—and the warmth of another body radiate near my face.
“Space can be cold,” she said, apologetically. “I’m used to it. I forget that most ponies aren’t.” She blinked, and then giggled. “And especially you humans! You have no fur coat of your own!”
I scoffed at her, though I could not keep back a smile. “I’ll let you know if I get too cold,” I lied with a nod.
Something soft brushed the back of my neck, and I went stiffer than a maple tree in the dead of winter. I felt it slide along and finally settle, and a heavy presence press upon my back. I glanced over and saw the outline of a wing wrapped around my shoulder, the large feathers gleaming like an oil stain. Turning my head back to Luna, I found she was even closer, her back almost against my arm, with her wing stretched out behind me.
“No you won’t,” she joked, booping my nose with a hoof. I blinked and smiled like a goof. “Really, what you need is a nice set of wings. Holding your feathers close to your body is…” She shivered, relieving some pleasant memory. “It’s mwa,” she concluded, kissing the tip of her hoof as she did so.
“Sounds great. Pegasi were always my favorite. Any idea how I could go about and get a pair?”
Luna giggled and shook her head, turning back to the night sky. “I cannot help you there. Now, my sister, on the other hoof… Though, that depends. Have you done anything worthy of becoming a Princess lately?”
I snorted and clenched my teeth together to prevent them from chattering. “No, unfortunately not. The most honorable thing I’ve done lately is given a tour to foreign royalty around my country.” I glanced over at Luna, whose head was back to looking up at the skies. Her ears, however, were twisted towards me.
“It has been a delightful trip,” she mused, still not meeting my eyes. “It is a shame I must away back to Equestria on the morrow. My duties can be abstained from only for so long.”
I nodded, tearing my eyes away from the softness of her cheeks and letting them settle onto the heavy, wet flakes of snow that drifted lazily to the ground. It had been an incredible two weeks, touring with the Princess. I had gotten plenty of absurd looks and likely many hushed conversations about us over that time, but whenever I saw her smile at some novel delight, any sense of embarrassment or self-awareness vanished. If people weren’t ready for a talking, magical pony that could fly, that was their problem.
I must have gone too long without talking, because Luna cleared her throat and nestled into me a little harder. My heart pounded. We had been friendly for the entire trip, but this was the closest the two of us had gotten. I’m sure my adoration of her was obvious, though I did conduct myself with some modicum of respect. As beautiful as she was, I was her host and she was my guest. A royal guest, at that.
Luna sighed heavily, and I looked over at her. She was staring into the spruce trees across the park, her sight lost somewhere in the inky abyss of undergrowth and pine needles. “And as much as I hate to say it,” she started, regret apparent in her voice, “it is late and I should be well rested for my travel home tomorrow. Shall we away?”
I wanted to say no, to disagree and persuade her that another hour couldn’t hurt, so glad was I to feel her feathers tickle the back of my neck. I knew she was right, though. That, and my fingertips were starting to turn the same shade of blue as her fur. I could postpone the end of our visit no longer.
I sighed as well, matching the weight of hers, and nodded in agreement. “I suppose we better.” I picked myself up off the bench, though I noticed her wing follow me away until finally I was stood up. Curious, I thought. Perhaps she was just helping me up.
I turned around and returned the courtesy, offering a hand to the princess. She placed her hoof in my hand—thank god for the darkness, for my cheeks were blazing red—and I helped her up. Collected, we meandered off down the path.
Neither of us spoke for the walk home. Thirty minutes of quiet contemplation passed between the two of us, my thoughts lost somewhere in sorrow and acceptance. It wasn’t like she was leaving forever. Sooner rather than later she would be back, to negotiate treaties and imports and exports with people matching her status. The link between our worlds was not going away any time soon. But until that time, she would be gone, and I would be left with just the memory of a prancing princess pony, her face a beacon of joy and light at every wonder our world had to share.
I do not know what she thought about. I could see, as we passed under streetlamps and the glow of snowflakes radiated around us, that she was deep in thought. I let her be to puzzle over her conundrum. If she wished for my help, I’m sure she would have asked.
At last we arrived at my apartment downtown, kicking snow off our boots and brushing it off our shoulders at the entryway. The heat from inside almost knocked me over as I opened the door. I could swear my toes and ears had actually started crying tears of happiness at the sensation. Orange light from the kitchen flooded out the door as well, and smells of cookies and spice washed over me. It was nice to be home.
“I think,” Luna started as she magicked off her heavy winter coat and hung it up on the rack near the door, “some cocoa is called for. There is time still for us to warm up before I must turn in.”
I nodded at her, not trusting my teeth not to chatter if I answered her verbally. She meandered off into the living room, and a moment later I saw the tell-tale flickering of faux flame from the electric fireplace shimmering on the wall opposite. While she made herself comfortable, I went off to the kitchen to find the chocolate powder and kettle.
The kettle helped warm my frozen fingers, though only slightly, and I grimaced while grabbing the two cups and walking carefully towards the living room. Sometimes affection makes us stupid. Had she not suggested we come home, I probably would have lost my ears.
Speaking of ears, I saw Luna’s turn my way before her head did as I entered the cosy little room. With Luna not being much for television, I had reorganized the room so the couch and chairs faced the fireplace. She seemed to find far more entertainment and value staring into the dancing lights than from the dreck that came with cable. I suspected after her reaction to it the first couple days she was here, that any trade between our two worlds might include an outright ban on television. I smiled to myself. It was probably for the best, anyways.
I handed her her mug, which she grabbed with a dark blue miasma of magic. Letting go of the cup mid-air made my stomach quiver, though not as badly as the first few days I learned to interact with magic. She had wrapped one of the heavier blankets around her body, leaving only her face and ears exposed. I went to go sit on one of the other chairs, when Luna cleared her throat.
I faced her with curiosity, ready to provide whatever she needed. She made no request of me, however, just met my eyes and for a second that felt like minutes, simply stared at me apprehensively. Had I offended her? She seemed to enjoy the cocoa I had made for her before, and I did nothing different this time. I tilted my head at her, though I waited patiently for her to speak.
“I…” she started, faltered, and then smiled at me. “I think we would both warm up faster under the same blanket, no?”
My heart pounded as she spread out a foreleg and created an open space next to her beneath the blanket. Thoughts raced in my mind. The angel on my shoulder told me that I should politely decline. The devil said nothing, and simply gestured to her words. What fault could there be in what she had suggested? And besides, if there were any sort of social faux pas with cuddling up with a noble, it would be her decision to ignore that, no?
I realized that I had been standing there entirely too long, panicking. Her smile faltered only a fraction and I made up my mind. Confidently I stepped forward, sat down on the couch, and leaned back into the blanket.
The alicorn closed her eyes with a soft smile, and then closed the blanket around the two of us, her foreleg wrapping around my back and pulling me tightly in towards her. Our barrels met beneath the cover, her body radiating warmth and kindness, mine still quivering with cold, and she hugged me tighter still. One more panic of propriety ran through my brain but I disregarded it and, tentatively, let my head fall onto her shoulder.
Her mane drifted lazily above my head, flowing down behind my neck. It ticked where it touched my nape, feeling nothing like horse hair, and everything like… Well, it was hard to say. It didn’t seem to exist in any physical state, yet I definitely felt it brush my skin as it wavered. It felt like butterfly kisses, I decided.
“...I hope… Uhm. Are you comfortable?” Luna asked, leaning her body weight against mine. She stared directly at the fire, as if afraid to meet my eyes. “I just thought, with how cold you were, and, well, practically speaking, you know, this spot is closer to the heater, and…”
I couldn’t help myself. A soft snort slipped out of my nostrils. She had been so prim and proper this entire trip. Seeing her stammer touched my heart. This was a side to her I had not yet seen, and strange as it was, I knew it was a wall that she had dismantled. Not wanting her to feel any more embarrassed than she seemed, I quickly replied.
“This is lovely,” I answered, shimmying my body down and just a little further against her. “Thank you. You’re very warm.”
She nodded, possibly because she was afraid of saying anything else awkward, and then turned her gaze to the fire. The two of us sat like that, watching the flames flicker and jump, listening to the windows shake as howling winds slammed millions of snowflakes into them.
My mind wandered to how we first met, and I smiled at the memory. Finding her standing confused and amazed in the middle of the same park from tonight, near a statue of some famous figure astride a horse. She told me that apparently the mirror always connected to a horse statue, no matter what universe it came out to. She was prepared for a different, also human world; had been to one before, even. She was not prepared to learn how intimately connected our two planets had been, though.
The first day I took it upon myself to show the Princess around was the most difficult, though she adapted quickly. The hardest part was not dealing with stranger’s horrified and amazed stares as an alicorn flew around and magicked the world around her, no. The hardest part was showing her the TV show that had once aired in our world, documenting their lives in intimate detail.
She hypothesized that there must have been some crossover between our universes, some mingling of physical realities, enough for creators here to be “inspired” by the effects of the other. Twilight, she said, would probably figure more out. I believe her and think she’s right. Somewhere in Canterlot, there’s probably a unicorn furiously scribbling headcanons about our world.
Something touched my hand, bringing me out of my memories and into the present. It was hard yet smooth, cool yet warming. I felt around for only a moment before I realized it was a hoof, placed delicately on my open palm.
Praying I wouldn’t drop dead of a heart attack right then and there I closed my hand around her forehoof, and rested my head on her shoulder. She had grabbed my hand! I was holding her hoof! Her hoof! I dare not speak. I felt my tongue in my throat, dry and big. I think I started to shake, which is when I heard her giggle.
“Is holding one’s forelimbs really so intimate here that it sends one into a catatonic state?”
I gulped. “Er, ah, no, it’s just—”
“I fear I may have crossed a line,” she said, though her voice was playful. I met her eyes and noticed a devious smirk beneath them. “Perhaps it is too forward of me.”
“No! I mean, ah, no, it’s perfectly fine, I quite like it, I just, I wasn’t expecting it at all, you know, what with… You being a Princess and all, and…”
She turned beneath the hefty blanket to face me, still keeping her hoof within my fingertips. Her eyebrows furrowed as she leaned in towards me, her playful smile switching to a frown.
“Am I being informed that your world’s ambassador for said Princess is not deserving of the position? That my choice in companionship is misplaced due to title alone? Pester me not with these whimsies of rank and societal convention. Although,” she trailed off, her expression softening and her other hoof finding my free hand and picking it up, “one might entertain the right to order another around.”
“I, uh… No? Yes. What… Sorry, the bottom of your hooves are really soft, I’m… I feel a little…” I blinked wildly, hoping to move my mug of cocoa to my lips to shut myself up. My hands restrained, I glanced at it as a last ditch effort. The cup was bone dry by now, empty for a while. Traitor, I thought, returning my gaze to those piercing teal irises.
“I jest, unless you feel it is apropos.” She closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, and then—almost regretfully—dropped my hands as she returned her hooves to her side. “Blast these nerves. There is no time for dawdling about any longer about it,” she muttered to herself. To me, she said “I wish to be forward with you, if I may.”
“Always,” I answered.
“Your affectations towards me have not gone unnoticed. I know you were familiar with the idea of me from that strange show, but having spent the time together and gotten to know each other over the last fortnight, I have sensed your feelings about me have only strengthened. I have been as professional as I could muster, been as princess-ly as I possibly could have. I know our worlds will do greatly cooperating with each other, once Starlight learns how to expand the portals between them. I will be back again in the future, though I will not be dealing in a professional manner with you.”
I dropped my head, feeling scolded. I knew I had been too bold in letting my heart get the better of me at times. Too much flirting, too many compliments, too many times caught staring. I had fucked up.
“Which means,” she continued, lifting my head up with the tip of her hoof, “that there is no reason for us to faff about with this pomp and circumstance. There is no professional barrier that need exist between us. You are not my colleague. You are my friend.”
I blinked, taken aback. This was not the direction I was expecting the conversation to go. I opened my mouth to say something about it, but that same hoof that lifted my chin quickly jumped to press my lips closed.
“And I wish for you to kiss me,” she concluded.
My eyes bulged. Before me, wrapped so cozily in a dark green comforter, was the biggest crush I had ever had. Her great big eyes blinked slowly while a comforting smile graced her deathly cute muzzle. I glanced towards her ears, which were stiff and directed straight at me. Years of writing fanfiction helped me know what that meant. She was nervous too.
She dropped her hoof from my mouth and continued to stare at me, the conciliatory grin quivering (almost) imperceptibly. Mayhaps she felt she had gone too far. The thought of leaving her anxious or heartbroken was despicable to me, and I knew of only one way to prevent it.
I was blushing before I even moved in, overwhelmed with a rush of thoughts and worries and curiosities and—I shut them out. What mattered most was making her happy (which, coincidentally, would make me the happiest I had ever been), and that was all I was going to let myself worry about.
My lips pressed against her muzzle lightly, just enough force to make their presence known. I closed my eyes as we connected, and felt her own lips press back against mine. Internally, I mused at how delicately fuzzy they were. Externally, I held myself as still as I could, savouring the moment. It was just a kiss, after all. Something simple, something easy. There was no need to overthink things and start to panic.
Oh god, how long had I held the kiss? Was it too long? Not long enough? Should I pull back or wait for her?
Fuck.
Before my rapid thoughts could sabotage any more of the moment I felt Luna pull away from me, and I opened my eyes to stare directly into hers. She giggled, a nervous little laugh like one might expect from a yearling after their first kiss. I couldn’t help myself, and laughed with her. I had a smile that would not go away, so wide it was that my cheeks were cramping a little bit.
“Sorry,” she apologized, still tittering. “I feel like a filly again. That was nice.”
After hesitating for only a moment I wrapped an arm around her back and leaned in against her, my head nestling into the crook of her neck. She laid her head down on mine and breathed deeply. “Yes, it was,” I agreed. “Uhm. Thank you.”
She giggled again. “No, thank you. My duties and position in Equestria keep me from romantic endeavours. But here, here I am a bit more free.” She glanced out the frosted window, staring at the torrent of snowfall as it assaulted the frame. “This world is chaotic and takes care of itself. There is no need to baby natural processes. No need to turn the night sky nor set the moon to bed.” She looked down at me and hugged me tightly. “I like it. It is strange, but there is freedom in having no control.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say to that. Her world sounded so mystical and amazing to me that I had never considered how magical ours might be to her. I snuggled in to her hug, suddenly appreciating the blistering cold for the first time in my life. Sure, it might be painful and an annoyance to clean up after, but it also gave us the excuse to share a blanket, each other’s company, and a kiss. It gave us an excuse to light a fire and bask in its warmth. Gave us an excuse to drink cocoa and taste it on each other’s lips. Maybe there is magic in our world.
“You seem distracted,” she said after a minute of silence. “I hope I have not broken you with but a peck.”
“Oh!” I chuckled. “No, no, I’m fine. Just musing.”
“That is good, because I am not finished with you.”
She shifted away from me and before I could respond her lips were against mine again, pressing harder than before. She brought her hooves around and held my cheeks softly as she kissed me, then dropped them around my shoulders and hugged me once again. The entire time I was stunned, too shocked by the quickness of it all to even close my eyes. She laughed again, but this time it was not the nervous giggles of a filly with a crush. It was a rich, playful laugh, and she continued it as she rested her head against mine.
I could do nothing but smile and chuckle back. “You’re cute,” I told her, letting that TV-static mane tickle my nose while we cuddled. “But that gave me no time to prepare. We will have to try one more time.”
“If you insist,” she said sagely, leaning back and closing her eyes. She pursed her lips ever-so-slightly, the light blue almost shining against her navy coat. I kissed her again, this time less timid and sensitive but more passionately, wrapping my arms under her wings and bringing her in close. I felt her feathers shift and twitch, and her wings pressed down on her back to embrace me. It was a novel sensation, being hugged twice at the same time, and it made my infatuation even stronger. Humans are nice, but an Alicorn is something special. I had never felt more blessed in my entire life.
Immediately after thinking about how lucky I was, I was graced with something even more special. Luna’s lips parted while she held her place, and I felt the tip of a warm, wet tongue gently touch my lips. She did not have to wait for me to get the message, and I opened my mouth to invite the stranger in.
I have kissed people before, but never a princess. I have never kissed a magical cartoon pony come to life, though gods know I dreamed of it for over a decade. And I had never kissed someone who was so much larger than me, either.
I let her tongue explore my mouth, really letting myself experience this new sensation. Delicate as it was, it was very big, and while I met it and played with it with my own tongue, there was no denying how it dominated the space it danced within. I relished the feeling. Never had I felt so much power in such a sensual action before.
When she withdrew, I took the opportunity to explore her muzzle with my own tongue, pressing forward and tasting her mouth. Notes of chocolate and mint tickled my taste buds. Dark and strong flavors felt so appropriate for a pony of her stature, of her personality. I knew it was from the cocoa, but all the same I believed she must always be like this.
It was with heavy regret when we finally, through some unspoken agreement, pulled away from each other. I could have spent the rest of my life against her lips, though I knew time was against us. It was getting late, and as much as our passion had just been released, it would very soon be time for us to part so she could be well rested for her travel home tomorrow.
She seemed to be thinking the same thing. A deep purple blush shone through her dark blue coat, a timid smile quivering on her face.
“Stars, calm my hammering heart,” she whispered to the world, placing a hoof against her chest.
Gingerly I grabbed the hoof and pulled it away from her body, and then leaned down and placed a polite kiss upon the keratin. Her fetlocks tickled my nose, and I beamed up at her as I returned her hoof to her. “Thank you, Princess,” I said, giving an exaggerated bow.
She snorted. “Quit that!” she said with a laugh, waving a hoof at me. “You’ve already made me feel like a schoolfilly, don’t you start off with the ‘royalty’ business again… But yes. Thank you. This was lovely.”
I nodded my agreement and then leaned in against her, turning my attention to the fire. Thank gods it was electric, or by now the logs would have turned to embers. The rattling window served to remind me how grateful I was to have someplace warm to be.
And somepony warm to be there with.
I frowned, but turned my head just enough she would not see it. Pleasant as this was, I could not shake the regret that it was but one evening in my life. Soon she would be gone, and this would be nothing but a memory. I tried not to let the sadness consume me, not now, not while she was still here. Now was a time to cherish, not lament.
She cleared her throat, and I quickly reset my expression to a smile before looking at her. She too was staring deep into the flickering flames, the corners of her mouth turned up just so.
“Mhm?” I asked.
“Regretfully, I must get to bed,” she started, still smiling. “But before I go off, I feel the need to reassure you.”
“Oh?” I asked, snuggling into her a little harder.
“I will be back in this world, and I will deal with its leaders as necessary.” She glanced down at me with warmth in her eyes. “But that does not mean we cannot meet again. Surely there will always be a room here for me to stay, no?”
I started. “O-oh, yes! Yes, of course, you’re always welcome!”
“Excellent.” She gave me a quick hug as she tossed the blanket to the side and began to stand. “Rest assured I will make every opportunity available to myself to return and visit.” She looked down at me somberly as she offered a hoof up. “I cannot promise frequently nor even a guaranteed schedule due to my many duties, but I will make an effort to visit. Is that amenable?”
I nodded rapidly. It was probably far too eager a gesture, but what did I care? I hoped she knew how much it would mean to me.
“Very good. I look forward to it.”
I sighed heavily as she wandered down the hallway to her room and began to follow, making my way to my own bedroom which was at the end of the hall.
“I look forward to it as well,” I said to her. She was paused in her doorway, eyeing me with that same thinking squint as she had earlier on our walk. “Have a goodnight, Luna,” I said, nodding my head in respect.
As I turned to leave, she reached a hoof out and grabbed my hand, causing me to look back at her.
“It is still cold out,” she noted, the edge of her muzzle turning up in a sly smile. “And I have no fireplace in my room.”
“Oh,” I said, curious. She had not complained of this before. “I think I have a heater in my office, I can go grab it—”
She cut me off with a hoof pressed to my lips, and then tugged at my hand. I took a step forward as she stepped backwards, leading me into the guest room.
“A heater will not be necessary. I know another way to keep things warm,” she said.
“Oh? Oh.” I blinked rapidly, my mind both racing and blank at the same time. I followed her further, trying to keep my mouth from drying and my heart from stopping. Despite what I thought, I dared not let myself over assume. “C-cuddling, yes, right? I’d love to.”
She giggled, though far from the childish and free laughs from earlier tonight. This giggle was devious. Playful. Knowledgeable.
“Something like that,” she said, closing the door behind me.