Beggars and Choosers

by RunicTreetops

First published

You've always wished you could go to Equestria. You got exactly what you asked for.

It's a tale that's been told hundreds of times, isn't it? The average Joe lives a boring, mundane life, wishing for something greater. Then, one day, something happens that sends him to a foreign world, giving him a fresh start and a new perspective on life.

You've always wished that would happen to you. There's a show with talking ponies you like quite a bit that would be just perfect for it, too.

Be careful what you wish for.

Beggars and Choosers

View Online

A cold wind blows across your face. It would be uncomfortable if not for the fact that you're used to it by now. You take a deep breath, letting the thick, dusty air fill your lungs. You look on at the landscape around you. Of course, it hardly matters that you do so. All there is to see is miles upon miles of dirt, rocks, and whatever else remains in this long-dead world of nothing.

It was two days ago now that it happened. You logged off of your computer after hours of mindless scrolling. That was your usual routine, after all. You worked a soul-crushing nine to five, got home, made a cheap microwavable dinner, and sat down in front of your computer to "recharge" before experiencing it all again the next day. Such is the life of the common man where you're from.

Technically speaking, you were just fine. You had friends, you just weren't particularly close with them. You didn't have a partner, but the same can be said for a lot of people you know. You had a job that paid enough to keep food in your belly and a roof over your head, but not much more than that. Sure, you were getting by.

But you weren't living.

Is it such a bad thing, then, that you decided to indulge in some escapism once in a while? To imagine what it would be like to live someone else's life? For you to pretend, even if for just a little bit, that there is some real magic and romance left in the world?

The show with the talking ponies was a perfect fit for that, too.

It was a world where worries seemed miles away. A world where problems would arise, sure, but it was nothing that the main characters couldn't handle so long as they had each other. A world where you could be absolutely certain that someone would want to be there for you. Where opportunities would come. Where things are just... simple. Easy.

Happy.

However, the inevitable would always happen. Your eyes would close, your alarm would ring, and you would awaken to the same life that you'd always lived. It really shouldn't have upset you as much as it did. In the real world, people aren't just whisked away to fantasy lands to live out their wildest dreams.

Speaking of dreams, you thought you had reached your breaking point after awakening that morning. You had a strange dream that night, a dream where you met dozens of other versions of "you." They looked like you, they talked like you, and they all had the same name as you. However, there were two key traits that separated you from them. First, each of them claimed to be living the very life you wanted for yourself. Every single one was, in some form or another, living their life in Equestria after a freak accident landed them there one evening. After that point, many of them took varying life paths. Some found love in the various characters you know from that show. Others became grand adventurers, explorers, researchers, and everything in-between. But what set you off the most was not the realization that you were the only version of yourself not living in Equestria. No, you found the end of your patience when you recognized the second trait that separated you from them.

Unlike you, each and every one of them was happy.

And like all dreams, you eventually woke up. You rubbed your temple and sighed into the dark, empty bedroom.

"It's just a dream," you reminded yourself. "That sort of thing is impossible. I'm out here living my best life right now."

Of course, in the back of your mind, you silently wondered if it is possible, and if so... what did the other yous do that you hadn't? What did you do to deserve this life?

And that was when it happened.

A bright blue light suddenly shone from beneath you. Before you could even react, you found yourself falling into an endless, glowing abyss. It was as if a vibrant blue hole had just appeared beneath you and sucked you in. As you fell, you briefly began to panic at the foreign, terrifying situation you were suddenly in. However, after just a moment, you couldn't help but laugh. Hard.

It was happening. It was really happening.

For the first time in what must have been months, a smile made its way to your face. Tears filled your eyes as you relished in the feeling of falling. All you could do in that moment was imagine the life you were about to have.

"I hope it's Equestria," you mumbled.

Just as those words left your mouth, the light surrounding you suddenly intensified, completely filling your vision. You aren't sure exactly when it happened, but at some point, you passed out.

And when you woke up, you were in this vast, endless expanse of death.

You lean against the nearest surface, the only remnant of what this world used to be. It's a blue, circular table, the top of which appears to be covered in a sort of three-dimensional map. You, of course, recognize the place in this map to be Equestria. The fact that the table is half-buried in the ground and caked in dust, along with the fact that it's the only thing here, made you realize shortly after your arrival that you had, indeed, arrived in Equestria, but instead of the magical, friendship-filled Equestria you wanted, you instead ended up in the Equestria of an alternate timeline. This Equestria was in the show, you suppose. It was only there for a couple of minutes while some of the characters reflected on what the future would be like if they meddled with the past, but it technically existed in the show regardless.

In perhaps the cruelest twist of fate imaginable, you DID end up getting sent to Equestria. It just so happened to be the worst possible version of Equestria in existence.

Your stomach growls as you slump to the ground and rest your head on your knees. You tried exploring the day you arrived here. You climbed a nearby hill to get a good view of the surrounding world. The horizon had to be miles and miles away in all directions, and in the land in-between, there was nothing but lifelessness.

This world has no ponies. It has no creatures, no plants. Heck, even the sky is barren, with neither the sun nor the moon ever rising above the horizon. This world is dry, desolate, and unmistakably empty.

You smack your lips together. You're absolutely parched, but there is no water. You're extremely hungry, but there is no food. You have no energy. No motivation. No hope.

You close your eyes as the cold, dust-filled wind blows over you once more. There is nothing left for you to do but await your sad, slow, silent death.

What a terrible way to go.


The sound of an alarm suddenly forces you to open your eyes. With a groan, you slap your alarm clock, which reads 9:35. You're late for work.

With a yawn, you stretch out your arms and crawl out of bed. As you slowly make your way to the closet to get dressed and begin another mindless day, a thought briefly passes through your mind.

"It would be pretty cool to be able to live in Equestria instead of having to do this every day."

As you finish tying your shoes, you shake your head. That sort of thing doesn't happen in real life, after all.

Besides, even in Equestria... you suppose your life could be worse than this.