One bad day attracts a demon they say
Regal, royal, goddess of the moon, protector of dreams and vanquisher of nightmares, guide of the deceased, that's what the masses often times call me. But in reality I am a hideous, twisted monster who wrongfully took the lives of hundreds of innocent ponies, hundreds of dreams and wishes crushed in a single night because of my own lust for power and glory.
I am a murderer, and I cannot stand the pony I see in the mirror for she is a murderer too.
I glower at the mare in the mirror and she glowers back, I see a monster, a mass murderer, somepony unworthy of mercy or kindness. My nostrils flared and I narrowed my eyes as I gave the pony in the mirror an incredibly hostile glare. I can't take it anymore and I charge a blast of energy, I hate that mirror. It shows me such a twisted monster no matter what I do.
My magic bolt hits the mirror and it shatters with an incredibly loud crack, the shards of broken glass fly off in all different directions as I stand there completely calm, the shattering of the mirror didn't bother me one bit, and if anything I was glad that I wouldn't have to see myself in that stupid mirror anymore.
I look down at the mess of broken glass and splintered wood that used to be the mirror's frame and sigh, I would unfortunately have to clean the mess up myself if I wished to avoid questioning by my sister.
I brought one of my forehooves to my temple and massaged it, I felt a headache coming and quickly decided that maybe some air would help me with my painful predicament.
'No Luna, it won't. You're a mass murderer, remember? You ended so many innocent lives.'
My muscles tense up, I know for certain that I did not consciously think that on my own. I put my hoof down and let my wings hang limply from my sides, I figure that maybe a millennia on the moon didn't drive me insane so maybe the guilt has instead.
The worst thing about that is that I'm actually okay with it, maybe if I'm nuts the world won't seem so bleak to me.
I make sure my wings are folded and that I am wearing my crown and my chest piece is on correctly before I walk over to my bedroom door and open it, I step out and I hear the clanking of armor as the guards stand at attention, I don't give them any attention since I'm in need of fresh air desperately.
I take only a few steps out of my chambers when I hear one of the guard stallions address me.
"Your majesty, would you be in need of an escort?"
"No." I sounded much more aggressive than I had intended, I wince and keep my back turned toward the guards, I want to apologize but I decide against it.
"Of course your majesty, apologies."
"You did nothing wrong, dear guard. You are not responsible for me, I am."
I don't wait for him to reply, I trot off and as I'm walking I hear some of the day staff and solar guards talking amongst themselves, I assume that they're wondering why I'm awake and roaming around when I should be in bed resting.
I keep walking and I see the entrance to the castle, I almost get outside when I hear my sister speak out of seemingly nowhere.
"Luna? Oh! Good morning sister, going for a trot before bed?"
I turn to face her and nod. "Yes sister, I'd figure some fresh air before bed would be nice."
'Liar.'
I tense again upon hearing the strange voice, she must have noticed my strange behavior and she frowns, she looks worried now. "Are you okay?"
"Oh.. Yes, I'm fine, I think I may be catching a cold, or something. Of the like. Mhm."
"Luna."
Oh curse her natural lie detector and my poor improv skills, how am I going to tell my sister that I'm hearing a strange voice that nopony else can hear? Because that would totally go over well if I was honest. "I'm fine Tia, I'm simply exhausted and perhaps me delaying my bedtime is not a good idea, but I really would enjoy some air."
"Alright.. Though I was wondering if you would like to have tea with me tomorrow, I'm thinking of cancelling court on Wednesdays to give us both a break to spend time together just like the old days."
I perk up, she really wants to spend more time with me? I can't help but feel a little spark of hope and joy that she'd propose she close court on Wednesday so we could spend sisterly time like we used to when we were foals. "Of course! I.. Ahem, sorry. That would be amazing Tia, I really miss when we were able to run freely and not have a worry in the world. But what about the nobility? Won't they be very upset?"
She grins at me and nods, she seems so happy at the prospect that we'd be able to spend at least one day per week bonding. "I figured you'd like the idea, I know we don't interact much anymore because of our separate schedules, but I really would like to spend more time with you, you're my sister and I miss you. And if the nobles get upset that they have to wait a day to talk to me when I'm available every other day of the week then too bad, I prioritize you much higher than I do them."
"I love the idea sister, and I miss you too. I really do long to return to the the days when we were foals, mom and dad would watch us and we would play for hours."
"So do I Luna, but for now you should get some fresh air and go rest, you are no fun to be around when you're sleep deprived, you get unbearably cranky."
I put a hoof over my mouth to keep my unladylike snorts from being too loud, when I calm down I smile and open my mouth to speak. "Alright dear sister, just don't eat too much cake while I'm asleep."
"Oh ha ha. Funny."
"Indeed, good.. night? No, good morning sounds wrong too. Oh well, you know what I mean right?"
"Good nap?"
"Hmm, we'll go with that one. Good nap, sister."
"Good nap Luna, sleep well."
I wave at her with my wing as I turn back around and continue to make my way outside. I feel a lot better after having a talk with my sibling, I usually do.
My big sister has a very comforting, motherly presence and I have the opposite effect. Ponies usually fear me and don't want to talk to me, it only reminds me of my past cruelty towards the commoners.
'You're a murderer and they know it, it's written in history that you massacred innocents. They fear you because they know about your true nature. They all know.'
I sped up in pace as I tried to get to the gardens as soon as I could, I had no clue why I was being ridiculed and insulted by this.. Oddly familiar sounding voice. I know for certain that I've had an encounter with who the voice belongs to before but I'm unable to put my hoof on it.
I spread my wings and flap, I'm walking rather quickly and I soon lift off the ground, I enjoy the rush of the wind in my galaxy mane as I fly through the Equestrian skies. I make various sounds of joy since it has been so long since I've flown, I do a few tricks in the air and remember why I wanted to go outside in the first place.
I want to visit the gardens, I haven't seen it before and I want to see it for myself why so many ponies call it the most beautiful thing in all of Canterlot, I steady myself and hover midair for a while before shooting upwards. "I wonder if Discord's still in stone. Is he aware of everything that's going on or is he unconscious?.."
I do another few loop-de-loops in the air and giggle, I do love to fly and I wish I was able to get out and do it more often than once every few months.
I hum and land just in front of the entrance to the gardens, I smile and nod politely to the guards as they stand at attention and open the gate for me so I'm able to enter without issue.
No doubt they've seen my impromptu air show, but I don't care. What are they going to do, tell me I can't do that?
I trot into the gardens and look around, my jaw drops a little when I notice that my moonflowers are present, I thought they would've been forgotten in my old home in the Everfree Forest, but somepony had carefully brought them to the garden that was part of my current home.
I can't keep the smile off my face as I look around, observing various statues and rose bushes with different colored roses, all perfectly kept.
I'm pretty sure I lost track of time as I take a look around the magnificent gardens, I look up and see Celestia on her balcony getting ready to lower the sun and I quickly spread my wings and take flight, landing on the balcony that's attached to my bedroom in no time.
'You could jump off the balcony and fall to your death, it'll be quick and painless. You already know that nopony would miss you. In fact they'd throw a party to celebrate your death, you know how much everypony hates you Luna.'
My eyes widen at the sudden intrusive thought, it bothered me more than it should've, but that's because I suppose it caught me off guard at the worst moment possible.
I inhale sharply and light my horn, I get a firm grasp on the moon and start lifting it upwards while Celestia pulls the sun down. We quickly do our nightly duties and that's when it hits me, I have not slept when I should have and I was already sleep deprived. "Oh Faust.."
The groan I let out is rather obnoxious, even to my own ears, I am in no mood to dreamwalk when I'm barely even awake myself.
'Sleep forever then, it's easy and you'll do everypony in the world a favor.'
What is going on with me? Why am I having these horrible thoughts, and why am I beginning to agree with what it says? "No. I have a full life to live."
'But do you deserve to live your life after what you've done to the world? Thousands, if not millions of ponies were never born because you murdered their ancestor before they had the chance to find love and have a foal.'
"Who.. Who are you? What are you?"
'A friend.'
A growl forms in my throat, this thing that was tormenting me was not a friend, whatever the being is it's clear that it is not of this world. "You are no friend of mine, beast."
'Calm down Luna and think, what good have you done? You are no great ruler like your beloved sister, you have not saved the world from Discord or Chrysalis. But there is one great thing you can do for your sibling and Equestria.'
I feel my ears are pinned back and I take a shaky breath, I try to think of at least one good world saving deed I have done. I can't think of anything noteworthy. I know what it wants me to do, but I don't have a reasonable idea as to why it's targeting me specifically, wasn't eternal guilt punishment enough? Was creating the tantabus to force me to relive that horrible night every single night in my nightmares not enough?
I'm so tired, I love my sister so much but I can't burden her any longer. I tried so hard to live with knowing that had I tore so many families apart as the Nightmare that night, I even created the tantabus to punish myself for my sins, but it seems the only way to truly repent is through death.
I rear onto my hind legs and rest my forehooves on the railing of the balcony, I stare down at the perfectly kept grass below me. I take several uneven breaths and I'm vaguely aware of a blob of something slowly taking the form of an equine-like being in the corner of my vision.
"Hello mother." It spoke once it's equine self was fully formed in the waking world, it's voice was sinister sounding even though the words that were spoken were relatively innocent. It's deep, gravelly voice sent a shiver down my spine.
I immediately recognized what it was, it was the tantabus that I had created just after I returned from the moon. "H-How are you able to-"
It chuckled, and moved up to the railing beside me. "You weren't counting on me feeding off of your misery and slowly becoming more powerful over time, weren't you mom?"
"You evil, vile beast." I snarl at the nature's mockery that I have unintentionally given life and power to.
"Am I truly the evil one here, mother? Or is the evil one you for slaughtering innocent ponies simply because they stood in your way?"
"I.. I was fooled by a demon into allowing her to seize control of my body." I hiss, my grip on the railing was now much tighter as I didn't trust my 'child' enough to not try to murder me.
"Hmh." It hummed and made a grand display of acting like it was thinking. "Perhaps, you still should have tried to set ground rules with her. That's the fun part about demon deals, you have to be very specific otherwise they will find ways to bend the rules."
"Oh? And how would you know that?"
"Because this isn't my first time 'round the block. I have been a mere speck in the cosmic plane for billions of years now, but you have given me the suffering I require to take on a somewhat corporeal form, and by chance I took on the look of your 'tantabus'."
I scoff and turn my head to look at the being. "If that's so, then I'd like to know your name."
It chuckled and looked at me, and I could tell it's eyes were studying my every movement even though the creature was featureless. "My name, mother, is Erebos."
"The same Erebos that is one of the very first beings in creation? You cannot be serious."
Erebos nodded and tilted it's head in an unnecessarily creepy way. "The very same."
A bitter chuckle escapes past my lips. "Wonderful, so why have you been in my head for over a year trying to get me to end my life?"
"Perhaps we should go inside and speak over tea, my tale is a rather long one full of woe."
I mull over our recent conversation and I get the feeling that I don't exactly have a choice but to hear about my apparent child's hardships for the past who the heck knows many years, I still don't trust it at all but I am rather curious as to what it has to say. "Very well, but I will expect to receive all the answers I am looking for."
Erebos nods and motions for me to go back inside. I release my grasp of the railing and I turn around to go inside.
I really hope Twilight doesn't learn of this, she'd never cease asking questions if she found out.