Chapter 1
A/N: All right, I’m back with a new ponyfic. Those who read An Earth Poniy’s Guide to Magic may have some questions, so I’m anticipating them. Firstly, yes, you can consider the two fics to be in the same continuity, but if you do, this one makes more sense as having happened earlier. Secondly, overall, this fic will be sillier than my last was and the first chapter may lead you to believe (it’s also much less planned out). Also, I highly encourage audience participation for this one. If you make a suggestion that I think I can make funny, it’ll likely end up happening. Enjoy!
Doctor Brownian Motion stared into his Petri dish. Not detecting any abnormalities with standard pony eyesight, his horn began to glow as he cast his signature spell. Through his eyes, the Petri dish began to grow until he could see the microorganisms swimming within. There were dead spots, but not enough to compromise the health of the colony and the living bacteria were still highly motile, expected results in any case, and he smiled in satisfaction as he recorded what he saw. It was then that his earth pony assistant, Fresh Sprout, entered the laboratory.
“You have mail, Doctor,” he announced, dropping a stack onto the bench.
“Thank you, Fresh.” Brownian sighed. “May as well read it now.” He levitated the envelopes into the air and began opening and reading them. After a short period of silence, he suddenly exclaimed, “This report claims that a cure for cutie pox has been discovered! But cutie pox is supposed to be extinct! That doesn’t make sense.”
“Exactly!” replied Fresh Sprout.
“Ah, this explains it,” the Doctor replied. “There was an isolated case in Ponyville. Do you know what this means?!”
“That cutie pox isn’t extinct as previously thought?”
“Yes, but more importantly, it’s possible to study an individual who was under the influence of the disease. It might be possible to create an artificial case.” “And we’d want to infect a pony with a deadly disease because...?”
“Well, Cutie Pox is mainly dangerous due to the fact that it forces ponies to perform random tasks to the point of deadly exhaustion. The fact that it grants cutie marks and the talents that those marks represent is actually useful. At least, it would be if the pony had more control over the granted talents and they didn’t need to worry about being forced to use them constantly or exhaustion. But now that the cure is known, it is safe to manipulate the disease! Think of the possibilities! We could create a mutualistic condition which would grant a pony multiple special talents! This would propel ponykind into a new age where everypony would be like a superpony compared to the ponies of today! Pack your things, we’re leaving for Ponyville.”
(/)
After unpacking at Ponyville Inn, Fresh Sprout waited outside for his boss. His eyes followed the passing ponies in mild curiosity before he collapsed on a bench, wondering why the doctor was taking so long. When the unicorn left the building, Fresh’s eyes widened. While Brownian was still a yellowy-green unicorn with a brown mane, he had traded his lab coat for a trench coat and was now wearing glasses despite the fact that his spell meant that he didn’t need them. He was also levitating a note pad and quill.
“What’s with that getup?” asked Fresh. “I’m dressed as a reporter. I believe that we’ll be more likely to obtain the information that we need if we pretend to be writing an article about the event rather than attempting to use the disease for a specific purpose. As I’ll be writing a journal article on my results, it’s hardly a falsehood.”
“So where do we go first?” asked Fresh.
“Ponyville Hospital. We need to find out what we can from the doctor who first wrote the report.”
“Wouldn’t he have already given the important details he was willing to discuss in the report?”
“I’m sure that we can convince him to divulge a bit more. That will probably help us to decide how to progress in our investigation.”
(/)
“Thank you for agreeing to see us, Dr. Condition,” Brownian said.
“That’s not a problem, Dr. Motion,” replied the brown unicorn. “And as this is an informal meeting, feel free to call me Stable.”
“Thank you. In that case, call me Brownian. As I said when I requested the meeting, I’d like to hear more about you report on that cutie pox cure.”
“And I’m happy to answer you,” said Stable. “I wrote that article in the interest of medical science, after all.” He pointed to the wall of his office where the article was on display, along with some older articles which he had been involved with. Brownian raised an eyebrow when he saw that one was about a patient that believed that she was a dog. “What would you like to know?”
“Well, could you tell me about the patient?” asked Brownian as he tore his eyes from the wall.
“I’m sure that you understand that revealing the identity of the patient would be a breach of patient-doctor confidentiality.” Stable raised a disapproving eyebrow.
“Of course.” Brownian nodded solemnly. “But could you at least let us know something about which demographic the patient fills?”
“She is a local, female, early adolescent earth pony who has not yet earned her cutie mark. Old enough for that to be unusual, but not yet eyebrow raising.”
“I see. And how did the disease manifest?”
“I can’t give a first hoof account of the symptoms.”
Brownian raised his eyebrows as his jaw fell slack. He quickly turned to Fresh, but his assistant seemed as befuddled. “What do you mean, you can’t give a first hoof account?!”
“By the time that I saw her, she’d already been cured. I only examined her because three ponies demanded that I confirm that she was cured. They had seen the effects of the disease and had claimed that if her cure had merely been apparent rather than real, it would be ‘a disaster! A terrible, awful disaster!’”
“Then who cured her?!” asked Brownian. “That would be a zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest.” Stable pointed through the window. A view of the forest was always useful to have as it helped one prepare to run for one’s life.
“Who’d want to live there!?” asked Fresh with an eyebrow raised in incredulity. “I’ve never met a zebra before, but surely they prefer not to be killed by dangerous creatures?”
“Well, she certainly seems to manage.” Dr. Stable shrugged.
“And where can I find this zebra?” asked Brownian.
“I don’t go into the forest.” Stable shuddered at the idea. “You’ll have to ask somepony who does. I’d recommend Twilight Sparkle. She lives in Golden Oaks Library.”
“Twilight Sparkle...that name sounds familiar.” Brownian tapped his chin as he stared at the ceiling. “Should I know her?”
“She’s Princess Celestia’s student.”
“Wow! That must be it!” Brownian’s eyes widened. “I remember hearing some amazing things about her!”
“She also saved the world twice which may be what you’re talking about.”
“Impressive,” said Fresh. “We’ll have to see this Twilight Sparkle. Thank you, Stable.”
(/)
“Can I help you?” asked Twilight as she opened the library door.
“Yes, thank you, Miss Sparkle,” said Brownian as he bowed his head. “My name is Doctor Brownian Motion and this is my assistant, Fresh Sprout. We’re here because we’re doing research for an article on the cutie pox incident which recently occurred here in Ponyville. I was wondering if you could help us with our investigation.”
“Sure, come on in.” She turned around and led them into the library. “Doctor Brownian Motion, are you the same Doctor Brownian Motion who wrote that article on the dangers of Horn Rot and its prevention?”
“You’ve heard of me?”
“Of course, I make sure that I follow your advice now. I wouldn’t want to lose my magic. It’s my special talent after all.” Twilight grinned.
Brownian’s eye’s strayed to her flank. So, it’s true, he thought. The symbol of magic is right there! “You are lucky to have such a broad talent, Miss Sparkle,” Brownian said. “Not many can use their talent to excel in as many situations as yours would. I see why Princess Celestia considers you a worthy student.”
“Well, there are disadvantages to having a broad talent as well, even though I’m happy with my own.”
“True.” Brownian nodded. “But I think that overall, as long as one is careful to avoid cutie mark failure, a broader talent has more advantages. But as lovely and intellectually stimulating as this conversation is, we are here to find out more about the Cutie Pox outbreak at the moment. Business before pleasure.”
“Of course.” Twilight levitated down a book. “This is Perplexing Pony Plagues. It has some information about the original outbreak. I suggest that you read this, though as an accomplished microbiologist, you probably know most of it already.”
“Thank you. I’ll certainly do that. But what do you know about the recent case? I hear that it was cured by a zebra named Zecora.”
“That’s right,” said Twilight as she nodded. “She told us it needed to be cured by eating a kind of plant that would only grow when it heard somepony tell the truth. She called it, the seeds of Truth.”
“Could you introduce this Zecora to us?”
“Sure! We’re friends!”
“And the symptoms manifested exactly as described in the book? Nothing indicating an unusual strain?”
“Identically.”
“I see. And was the cause of the disease discovered?”
“Yes. Applebloom made a potion from Heart’s Desire which she drank in an attempt to gain a cutie mark. It gave her cutie pox.”
Brownian raised his eyebrows. “Very interesting! You know Applebloom?”
“Yes, she’s the sister of a very close friend.”
“I’d like to speak to her as well.”
“I’m sure that that can be arranged.”
(/)
“Interesting,” said Fresh Sprout as he glanced from plant to plant on their journey through the forest. “So the plants here really grow without earth pony magic? This would be a remarkable place to study.”
“Indeed,” replied Brownian with a nod, “but let’s not dawdle. We’re here for another purpose. Let’s not jeopardise our current research by risking the dangers of the forest more than necessary.”
“It’ll be fine as long as you’re careful,” Twilight reassured him, “I’ve walked this route many times. And we’re already here.” She indicated the tree which had just come into view.
“I’ll admit that I have yet to meet a zebra,” Brownian said as he stopped walking. “Is it typical of them to live in such dangerous areas? And in homes that look like this?”
“I don’t know,” replied Twilight. “Zecora is my only zebra friend so far.” She walked up to the door and knocked.
Zecora opened the door and glanced at her visitors before saying, “Greetings, Twilight. I see you brought guests. To make them feel welcome, I’ll try my best.”
“Thank you, Zecora,” Twilight replied with a smile and a nod. She then waved her hoof to indicate her companions. “These are Doctor Brownian Motion and Fresh Sprout.”
“A pleasure to meet you,” said Fresh.
“Indeed,” Brownian agreed.
“A pleasure to meet you as well,” Zecora replied. “Come into the place where I dwell.” She led them into her hut and Fresh Sprout began to eagerly examine the jars of flowers which adorned the shelves.
“They’re in Ponyville to write an article on Applebloom’s cutie pox case.”
“That is right,” said Brownian. “We heard that you were the one who cured her with the seeds of Truth and that she was first infected when she made and drank a potion she had made using Heart’s Desire. Is this true? How was the potion made?”
Zecora replied, “I can tell you the ingredients which she used. But as for the method, I’m still confused. While suspicions are in my mind, without Applebloom’s word, confirmation would be hard to find.”
“So you’re saying that I should ask Applebloom?”
“That is indeed what I suggest. Not to interview the victim would be a jest.”
“You make a good point,” Brownian replied. “I was certainly planning to speak to her at some point. But before I do, I’d like to buy a large quantity of seeds of Truth from you.”
Zecora raised her eyebrows and blinked. “Whatever would you need them for? To carry lots without reason would be a chore.”
“As those first involved in the investigation of the outbreak, it is our duty to ensure that the cure becomes widely available. My assistant, Fresh, is an accomplished botanist. He’ll have no problem finding a way to grow them n large quantities, but he’ll need samples first.”
(/)
After receiving the seeds from Zecora, who gave them a good price due to the fact that they were buying in bulk and she was happy to support a good cause, Twilight agreed to show them the way to Sweet Apple Acres and to introduce the Apple family to them. “This is certainly an impressive farm,” Fresh noted as his eyes darted between trees.
“Agreed,” said Brownian. “But I’m eager to meet the family of the victim.”
“Don’t worry,” said Twilight. “Applejack is one of my closest friends. She walked up to the door and knocked. It was answered by Granny Smith.
“Hello there, Dearie,” Granny Smith greeted Twilight. “Are you looking for Applejack? She’s in the south field.”
“Actually, I wasn’t just looking for her, but for the whole family,” Twilight explained. “Applebloom in particular.”
“Applebloom in particular?” asked Granny Smith.
(/)
Soon Brownian was explaining that he needed to interview Applebloom to the assembled Apple family. “So, you see, if Applebloom tells us what happened, it will be a great benefit to science and future ponies. You can appreciate that, right?”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac nodded.
“Ah’m not sure abou’ this newfangled potion-making nonsense, but Ah suppose tha’ tryin’ tah learn abou’ zap apples worked out well,” Granny Smith admitted.
“Ah’ don’t know neither,” said Applejack. “This ain’t gonna turn out like Gabby Gums, right?”
Concern flashed over Applebloom’s face. “Yeah, y’all ain’t gonna make me look bad, right?”
“We have no intention of making you look bad,” replied Brownian. “We just want the truth. You’ll go down in history as a great contributor to science!”
“Well, Ah suppose that tellin’ the truth worked out well last time. An’ maybe if Ah didn’t git mah cutie mark fer writin’ articles, maybe Ah can git one fer bein’ in an article!” Her face brightened.
Fresh raised an eyebrow in puzzlement before asking, “What kind of talent would...?”
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER, NEWSPAPER SOURCE! YAY!” Applebloom interrupted, causing the scientists to wince.
“All right Applebloom. Now this is very important,” Brownian said as he leaned in closer with anticipation. “I need you to tell us exactly how you made that potion.”
(/)
“That’s the last ingredient. It should be ready now,” Fresh said after putting down his pestle.
“Excellent!” replied Brownian. “Now, as I’ll probably be unable to do it myself, I’ll need you to record everything that happens.”
“Are you sure about doing this, Doctor?” asked Fresh. “It seems a little excessive.”
“Nothing is excessive in the pursuit of science!” replied Brownian with a harsh glare. “We need a control for our experiments and as I’ll be the one on which we’re experimenting, the control needs to be performed on me first to see how I react to the disease. Even if I was willing to risk another for testing, it would at least have to be a member of a race which earns cutie marks of which there aren’t many. And I certainly can’t risk another if I’m unwilling to risk myself!”
“All right, Doctor.” Fresh sighed. “You asked for it. Beginning experiment one, control experiment, the effect of the unmodified potion on the test subject to see if he becomes infected with cutie pox and the effect of the disease on him. Expected results are that he will indeed be infected with cutie pox and display standard symptoms as described in previous research.”
“Just remember to cure me once I reach the advanced stages or become a danger to myself or others. We’ll try modified versions of the potion afterwards.” Brownian lifted the bowl with his levitation and drank.
A/N: All right. That’s the set up chapter done. Now, naturally Brownian will go through A LOT of cutie marks and talents during his experimentation and that is partly where you guys come in. If you want him to gain a specific talent/cutie mark or have anything else happen, let me know and I’ll see what I can do. As I said, while this story will have serious parts, overall it’s pretty silly. A bit on the black comedy side, but that’s fine. Let’s see where this takes us.