Snips and Snails practice courting but fall in love with each other instead of the original targets of their affection
Written for the M/M Shipping Contest II: 2022
The Story is set after season 9, roughly 5 years after Princess Twilight Sparkle takes the throne. Snips and Snails are both 18 in the story. The grammar does not follow the show but is rather supposed to impress upon the audience that the characters are older, better educated, and hopefully wiser.
Snips and Snails have been friends for as long as they can remember, but now they are adults, and they are ready to start dating. After being rebuffed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, they decide to 'practice' on each other, with unexpected results.
Like all new couples, they make a few mistakes along the way. They make no apologies for how they feel but can they make their dreams come true?
One of the great things about no longer being a child… was the right of passage of dating. Snips and Snails at Eighteen, were no longer in primary school with Miss Cheerilee, but had chosen to attend Princess Twilight’s School of Friendship afterwards as something of a ‘college level education’ on a part time basis. While having just recently hit that coveted adult status, they had nearly all the boxes checked to be considered independent of their parents. They both did still live at home, but they were rapidly fulfilling society’s expectations for what they needed to take a partner and get married… and they had a plan.
Snips and Snails were milling around the courtyard waiting for the targets of their affection. School had let out for the day at the School of Friendship, and they had nothing better to do than to try their luck.
Again.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders exited the schoolhouse into the courtyard and just stared at the duo.
Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah guess we should just get it over with.”
The smaller blue unicorn, Snips, walked up to her with gusto. “Hi cuties…”
Scootaloo huffed. “For the last time… we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders… not cuties…”
Snips raised a hoof to his chest to defend his statement. “But you’re all so cute…”
Apple Bloom got red in the face with barely controlled rage and Sweetie Belle excused herself from the imminent confrontation to stand next to Snails.
She whispered to him. “So… you got dibs today?”
Snails sighed. “He’s tried flirting with Scootaloo a few times now, but never with Apple Bloom. To be honest… I’m surprised he’s trying this with both of them at the same time… I’ve been practicing my flirting, and I think you’ll like it… but I don’t think he’s got it yet. He thinks he does though… still… I think Apple Bloom will stomp him.”
Sweetie Belle suppressed a giggle while watching.
Apple Bloom recovered herself and retorted. “Ah’m not cute! Ah’m a hard-workin’ Earth Pony!”
Snips didn’t back down from his assertion. “Maybe I think a hard-working Earth pony is cute?”
Apple Bloom glared at him. “Would ya think it was cute if ah bucked your face?”
Snips seemed to get stars in his eyes… “You would do that?”
Apple Bloom was taken aback. “What?”
Snips also replied. “What?”
Sweetie Belle was trying not to cry from the laughter bubbling within her while Snails sighed and Scootaloo face hoofed.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes while whispering to Apple Bloom. “Remember… ‘buck’ has two different meanings in this context…”
Apple Blooms eyes widened as she blurted out… “What were ya hopin’ for?”
Snips rubbed the back of his head as he replied… “Well… I was hoping that was an offer for you to sit on my face while I licked your teardrop. That would be ‘bucking my face’… technically.”
Apple Bloom’s muzzle went red with a creeping blush but her only response was… “Eww.”
Snips sighed… “I guess that’s a no?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Even if… and that’s a big if… I was interested in trying that… you’re a unicorn! Your horn would be poking my behind.”
Snips grinned. “Yeah… it should fit perfectly into your tail hole while I’m licking you.”
Apple Bloom huffed. “Ah wouldn’t sit on your face if ya were the last stallion in Equestria…”
Snips seemed sullen but didn’t reply to her statement. Even he had to admit that the last suggestion might have been a bridge too far…
Snails sighed. “I guess I lost since she didn’t hit him…”
Sweetie Belle was still containing her giggling. “Well… it’s your turn. What flirting do you have for me today?”
Snails sighed again but also snarked. “I’m not sure I even want to try. Being turned down over and over again isn’t mentally healthy.”
Sweetie Belle pouted… “But turning you down is the highlight of my day…”
Snails perked up, willing to fulfil an odd request even when he knew it wouldn’t benefit him. “I was just going to say that your mane and tail looks extra good today, Sweetie Belle…”
She huffed at the obvious compliment. “I didn’t do anything extra to it. It looks exactly the same as it always does…”
Snails smiled sweetly. “Well then. You must be an angel to wake up so beautiful…”
Sweetie Belle’s muzzle creeped red with a growing blush… “That’s… sweeter than I expected.”
Snails gave her a weak smile. “I’d like to take you out on a date, or even a double date… but I don’t expect Apple Bloom or Scootaloo to return Snips’ affection. I know you wouldn’t want to leave your friends behind, and while I can afford to take all three of you out… it wouldn’t be a date at that point. I’m not trying to form a herd.”
Sweetie Belle relented on opposing his flirting but still had to turn him down. “I can’t date you without a job of my own. I feel like I should pay for my half of the date… that way we don’t feel as bad if it doesn’t work out. The fact that you have a job, and I don’t… Diamond Tiara would tear us both apart… and while I’m used to her abuse… I don’t think you deserve it. I’m sorry.”
Snails sighed. “That is fair, although, not fair at the same time. Diamond Tiara is a better pony than she used to be, but she still has her moments. Jealousy over stallions can be a sore spot for her… rich and single isn’t something that normally happens but a lot of us stallions remember what she was like as a filly and she’s going to have to work hard to overcome her past. Maybe I don’t care if she teases me? My job pays more than the average Ponyville job, and I don’t mind covering the full cost of at least one date… I think I love you and I’d like to explore that…”
Sweetie Belle’s heart fluttered but she had to stand resolute. “I’m sorry. I really can’t.”
Snips and Snails walked away from the Cutie Mark Crusaders defeated but willing to explore other angles to get better into their good graces.
Snips sighed. “That could have gone better…”
Snails huffed at his friend. “Mine went fine. She was concerned about what Diamond Tiara would say about us dating. It’s yours that fell apart. I know we can’t date all three of them at the same time, but we need at least one of them to like you.”
Snips grumbled. “Okay… so what should we do?”
Snails was lost in thought. “I don’t know… how have you been practicing your flirting?”
Snips looked at him. “In the mirror. I practice what I want to say and try to come up with retorts they could use against it, and I plan a counterstatement. What do you do?”
Snails sighed. “I do the same thing… although I seem to have better success with it. We need a new plan… but what?”
Snips seemed to consider the question and then brightened. “Maybe we should practice on each other! That way we can see the reactions and make adjustments. I don’t think it would be too weird. We just have to be honest with each other.”
Snails considered it… “Yes… that could work. But we won’t want to be seen or overheard doing it… so where do we practice?”
Snips shrugged. “My house or yours. It doesn’t really matter.”
Snails agreed. “My house is closer. Let’s go there.”
----------
After arriving at Snails house, they ate a snack and then went to Snails bedroom. This was going to be awkward but they both knew they needed real practice with real ponies.
Snips and Snails faced each other. Snips started. “Your horn is extra-long today…”
Snails barely avoided face-hoofing. “It’s the same length every day. That was ridiculous. Come on… you can do better…”
Snips sighed and refocused. “This isn’t coming naturally to me… what do you recommend?”
Snails considered what it took to flirt. “You said it yourself… Just be honest. Find an attractive quality in your target and compliment it. We aren’t looking for a one-night stand so really open your heart to the process. It really isn’t that hard unless you’re lying to yourself too.”
Snips looked at his best friend. Really looked at him. The orange coat and green mane looked good on him, though, he could use a mane and tail cut to smooth out the rough edges. His horn was really long, which unicorns adored… but his smile… and his eyes…
Snips gulped. “Your eyes… they look so kind. I can tell that you’ll be a good partner to whomever you end up dating and marrying.”
Snails felt a blush creep up his muzzle. That was more than I expected.
Snails cleared his throat. “I think your short stature is endearing. I know that being small isn’t fun but your so cute that it’s hard not to like you.”
Snips blushed as well. “I have to get to work at the Ponyville Day Spa… my shift is starting soon. You should come with me though… I think that you could use a mane and tail cut to smooth out the rough edges of your current style and really get inside a certain mare’s heart… For that matter… I need a cut too, but at least I get the employee discount. Should we go get a mane cut today?”
Snails grinned widely. “That’s a good idea! Let’s go!”
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Snips and Snails arrived at the Ponyville Day Spa and queued in line. The spa wasn’t that busy, so it didn’t take long to check in with Aloe.
“What can I do for you two stallions today? Snips? Your early for your shift.”
Snips smiled at her. “We would like to get a trim on both our manes and tails. Just clean it up and give us some smooth edges.”
Aloe looked them over. “We can probably do that, but your tail is already fairly short, Snips. Are you sure you want it shorter than it already is, even to ‘clean it up’?”
Snips shrugged. “Well… it’s not like I need a long tail to hide certain things like a mare would. It should be okay as long as you don’t cut it completely off.”
Aloe smiled warmly at her young employee and his friend and showed them to the mane cutting part of the spa. Snips and Snails sat side by side while getting their manes styled and cut. It took less than 20 minutes for both the mane and tail to be done and they looked at themselves and each other in the mirror.
Snails grinned. “Wow. Very nice. Its smooth and even and the style is simple enough for us to fix it up like this again ourselves for class at the School of Friendship.”
Aloe looked around the spa and sighed. “We are less busy than we normally are… maybe you should just go ahead and take the day off, Snips. Enjoy the day with your friend.”
Snips smiled at his boss. “Will do, Aloe. If you need me for anything, just send a message and I’ll come right away.”
Snips paid the bits for both of them, and they returned to Snails’ home to regroup.
Snips was energized by the mane cut and the earlier flirting practice. “So… should we keep practicing or call it a day?”
Snails considered it carefully. “I think we’ve done enough for one day. We’ve gotten to the heart of the issue and fixed part of our appearance. We need to keep up the practice for a few days or even a few weeks before we try to flirt with the girls again. Maybe giving them some time away from our flirting attempts will make them miss it while we are getting better at it. We also probably need to practice other things too, to help us get more comfortable with dating and courtship so we can really blow them away when the time comes.”
Snips frowned. “What else should we practice?”
Snails thought about it. “Buying gifts for certain. Mares like gifts. We need to get better at understanding ourselves and our friends so we can buy a gift that really attracts their attention… and affection.”
Snips nodded his head, impressed with Snails’ insight on this. “Okay… let’s buy each other something small tomorrow as practice and maybe we can practice other things too. Let’s just take this one day at a time and maybe… just maybe… we can hit paydirt.”
Snails pulled Snips in for a friendly hug and then walked his friend to the front door of his house.
The next morning came quickly for two certain stallions who really needed to hit the Ponyville markets before going to the School of Friendship this morning. Snips was careful to avoid Snails this morning as he didn’t want his best friend to catch sight of his gift before he could present it to him. Snails was equally careful to avoid his best friend while doing his own shopping.
They met at school and greeted each other. Snips smiled at Snails. “So when should we give each other the gifts?”
Snails shrugged. “I figured we could exchange these gifts at lunch or after class. But we also need to remember that mares like surprises, so we need to practice buying and giving gifts unexpectantly. This being ‘planned’ is fine because it’s the first time but as odd as it sounds… we need to practice being spontaneous.”
Snips cocked an eyebrow at Snails. “Where did you learn all this stuff?”
Snails looked around for eavesdroppers. “My mom gets the ‘Mare’s Monthly’ magazine. A few months ago they had several articles and advice columns about dating. Most of these techniques that I’m teaching you, and that I’m using myself, is actually geared towards mare’s attracting stallions. Since there aren’t as many stallions as mares… a lot of mares have a hard time finding husbands… unless they don’t mind herding. There are a lot more mares in our class than stallions, but we have other issues to overcome. I’m not sure that Diamond Tiara will really interfere with our plans… from what I hear, she has her hoofs full as the Assistant Manager of Barnyard Bargains under her father’s leadership.”
Snips acknowledged the statement at face value. “Makes sense. Let’s go sit down before were late to class.”
Snails kissed him on the cheek. “After you…”
Snips was too shocked to comment on the kiss before he walked into the classroom.
----------
At lunch… Snips and Snails sat down to eat. They both had hoof made daffodil sandwiches but then Snips brought out a large box of chocolates.
“I’d thought we could share this large box of chocolates as dessert?”
Snails smiled widely. “What a thoughtful gift! I’d love to…”
They ate their sandwiches and hoof-fed each other the chocolates… giggling every so often at the absurdness of the almost date like lunch.
As they walked to the next class of the day, Snips asked Snails in a low whisper. “Do you think a date-like lunch would work on the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
Snails rubbed his chin. “Maybe… but they normally eat lunch together with no other ponies present. I suppose we could ask them if they’d care to join us, but we’re not supposed to be flirting with them for a while until we really have it down.”
Snips nodded. “I guess I’m jumping the spear here but I’m eager to try this on them. I really enjoyed our lunch today… it went so well!”
Snails nodded back. “I’m eager too. But if we tip our hoof too soon… they will be ready for the attempt and they will close their hearts to the possibility of dating us.”
Snips asked the inconvenient question. “What if another stallion beats us to them while we’re practicing?”
Snails shook his head. “None of the other colts or stallions are even trying to date any of the fillies or mares in our classes. Some of them are too young and the rest don’t care. Us and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are amongst the oldest students here, so I don’t think we have any reason to worry. The Crusaders are only seventeen so even if we do manage to start dating them, we couldn’t marry them until they turn eighteen anyways. And even if we do miss our chance, trying our new moves on Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon might be enough to make the girls jealous if we started to flirt with them instead of the Crusaders.”
They returned to class and waited until school was over for the day.
Snips and Snails walked back to Snail’s home again for another round of practice. When they got to Snails room, he pulled out a wrapped package and he give it to Snips.
“Here you go. I hope you like it.”
Snips unwrapped the gift with a slight amount of regret that he hadn’t wrapped Snails’ gift earlier. When he got the package opened, he smiled. Inside was one of the softest blankets that he had ever felt. It was warm too… perfect for cold winter nights which would be happening soon with the ‘Running of the Leaves’ having already been planned for next month.
Snips decided to be bold and returned the earlier kiss onto one of Snails cheeks. “This is the best gift I could have hoped for. I hope it didn’t cost too much.”
Snails shrugged, lighthearted. “I wanted to give you something that you needed that would also show you how much I care.”
Snips nodded at the playful tone but serious reasoning behind the gift. It was a real gift. The type of gift that you would give to a coltfriend or marefriend. Certainly more important than a box of chocolates although the chocolates had been fun to share.
“Um. Would you like to try the blanket out? We could… cuddle?”
Snails seemed both shocked by and okay with the suggestion and helped Snips unroll the blanket as they worked to drape it on the bed. They both got into bed together and cuddled close.
The blanket was warm and would be even better during cold weather, but Snips was practically on fire from the heat of what they were doing. Snails was very warm. It felt… good.
Friends cuddled all the time, right? Friends helped to provide comfort in times of need.
Snips yawned, suddenly very tired from the mental toll that the flirting yesterday and the gift exchanging today had taken on him. This was weird to him, but it had also been his idea.
A soft snore from behind him confirmed that Snails was already asleep. Maybe he was just as tired? He probably had gone back to re-read those magazine articles to make sure that he was giving the right advice for their efforts. It did seem to be working. Snips didn’t think that he would have ever cuddled with Snails before they started practicing flirting and how to be more emotionally open yesterday.
He just had to hope that it didn’t become weird…
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3 hours later…
Snips was having the best dream ever. He was sucking on the best lollipop he had ever had. The spiral ridges mimicked a unicorn horn and might have been considered sexually suggestive if it hadn’t been candy.
Or maybe that was the point.
Come to think of it… a lot of married or dating adults seemed to buy their partners candy like that as a gag gift, but it wasn’t unheard of for younger Earth Ponies and Pegasi of both sexes to buy candy like that also to tease their unicorn friends. Watching a filly or mare suck on a unicorn horn shaped lollipop was a huge turn on for Snips, although he’d never be caught admitting to it.
Maybe he should buy a few of them for the Cutie Mark Crusaders… he’d love to see their reaction at the suggestion that they should suck a horn. Or would that be considered flirting? A gag gift with a deeper sexual implication… Sweetie Belle would certainly understand the meaning. No… as funny as it would be for him to give them a gift like that, he couldn’t ruin Snails chances with Sweetie Belle by buying a thoughtless sexual gag gift. Maybe being emotionally open with Snails’ help was helping him mature too… maybe being mature would help endear him to Scootaloo? She seemed mature for her age… yes, that could work.
As for him… he knew he was dreaming. He knew he was asleep. The lollipop didn’t seem to have an actual taste, but the texture was odd… maybe that was just part of the dream? Maybe he couldn’t imagine the flavor of a candy he had never personally tried. Or maybe there was no flavor because his mind couldn’t decide what flavor it should be…
A magical jolt surged through him, instantly waking him up, and his tongue went numb, ozone coming out of his nostrils as he came to the horrible conclusion that he had been sucking on Snails’ horn. And he managed to give Snails a horn-gasm.
Sweet Celestia… how did this go so wrong… Snails woke up too, startled by the unplanned discharge of magic, rubbing his wet horn with a hoof, and looking confused.
Snips just wanted to sink into the mattress and disappear.
Snails put two and two together and his jaw dropped open. “Really? How?”
Snips was spurting. “I… It was an accident! I swear! I was having a dream about sucking a lollipop and when I woke up… it was your horn. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose.”
Snails’ eyes were grossed over, the horn-gasm making it hard for him to focus. “I’m not… mad… I’m… uh… I wasn’t expecting you to be my first…”
Snips sighed. “I guess… I should go home. I don’t think we was planning to nap this long anyways. My mom will be mad if I don’t do my chores… and I think I’m late for my shift at work.”
Snails winced. “I wish you could stay the night… I don’t want you to leave thinking you did something bad. Like you said… you was asleep… it was an accident.”
Snips rubbed the back of his neck after he climbed out of bed. “I’ll… try to find a way to make it up to you. I just don’t know how yet.”
Snails opened his mouth to say something but stopped when Snips turned to leave his room.
Just before Snips reached the door, Snails spoke up. “Don’t forget your blanket…”
Snips looked back at the bed. His thoughts were in turmoil.
This is super awkward. What am I supposed to do, or say?
“Umm. Why don’t you keep it here. It can be our special cuddling blanket. That is… if you want to practice cuddling more.”
Snails frowned as he thought about it. “Do we need more practice cuddling?”
Snips was wondering the same thing. He didn’t want the idea to sound lame and he didn’t want them to waste any time they could spend doing other things, but he did want to make it up to Snails.
Just be honest…
“Yes… you kissed me on the cheek earlier today with no effort. I was only able to return the kiss in the privacy of your bedroom where there was no risk of being seen. I was shy to ask about cuddling in the first place, and while I didn’t mean for everything else that happened to happen… I think we should cuddle until we are one-hundred percent comfortable with doing so. We’re friends… we should be able to cuddle and comfort each other without any awkwardness. Even now… I’m super embarrassed about what I did even though you’re not mad. I want our friendship to go deeper. I want us to be able to trust each other with literally anything. I can’t make this up to you without spending time with you. And I really want you to be okay with what happened since we can’t take it back.”
Snails frowned at what Snips said but admitted privately that there was truth to what he said.
“I’m not sure why you feel like you have to make it up to me. The horn-gasm felt good, even though it was an accident. If anything, most ponies would think I would owe you one since I got off and you didn’t.”
Snips swallowed hard and the red blush overtook everything as the heat he was feeling came back. He felt warmer than he did while he was under the blanket and cuddling. His embarrassment was so strong it felt like a fever.
“I… um. I’m not sure I want you to suck my horn. I certainly don’t think that you should think that you would have to do that to me to make up for anything. You’re not the one that had the weird dream and made the mistake.”
Snails smiled at his friend. “This isn’t as big of a deal as you think it is. Colts and Stallions our age, and even a little younger, experiment like this all the time, at least according to Mare’s Monthly. And it could have been worse.”
Snips frowned. “Worse? How could what I did have been worse?”
Snails raised an eyebrow suggestively. “You could have put your horn or your shaft into my tail hole. I remember you suggested something like that to Apple Bloom yesterday, though I guess you were joking? She didn’t seem to think that you were. At least you kept it in your sheath.”
Snips did smile at that. “You’re right. That would have been worse. I’ll try not to keep saying that I’m sorry, but I do still think I need to try to make this up to you, somehow.”
Snails accepted what he wouldn’t be able to change. “If you feel like you need to make it up to me, I’m sure that you’ll find a way. In the meantime, please try not to worry about it. And try to have a good night and a safe trip home.”
Snips nodded and left… leaving Snails alone. Snails was left to consider what would have to happen next.
This isn’t going the way I planned… but maybe I should just see how this plays out…
Snips woke up extra early the next morning and walked to Snails house. He waited outside for Snails and smiled brightly at his friend when he finally came outside.
“Good morning. I thought we could walk to work together.”
There was no school that day, and the Ponyville Day Spa was on the way to where Snails worked so it was a good chance to spend even more time together without either of them being late.
Snips’ gesture was sweet, and Snails realized that he must still be trying to make it up to him for what happened yesterday. Snails was more than happy to spend more time with his best friend as he led into the next question.
“So… what are your plans for today?”
Snips shrugged. “I’ve got at least a full eight-hour shift ahead of me, about the same as you. I was thinking though… maybe we should practice having an actual date at a restaurant followed by more cuddling back at your place?”
Snails was slack jawed at the suggestion but recovered quickly and responded. “The question is… do we want to be seen together in a context that might suggest that we are in a relationship other than friendship. I know that your image means a lot to you…”
Snips nodded slowly, understanding his worry. “I don’t think that anypony will rush to that conclusion and even if they do, it will make our flirting with the girls that much more unexpected when we go back to it.”
Snails couldn’t fault his logic. “Okay then. Which restaurant?”
Snips was a little shy about the suggestion… “What about that Prench restaurant? The Ponyville Café?”
Snails stopped and looked at Snips… “That is the nicest restaurant in town… and also maybe the only restaurant in Ponyville that could be considered a date spot for ‘serious couples.’ It’s also a little expensive… are you sure?”
Snips scoffed. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders are not going to want hayburgers and fries from ‘The Hayburger.’ And besides… it’s not just about practicing the art of dating… we want to know what’s on the menu so if our dates ask us for advice on what to order, we can sound like experts. I’d wager that it would impress them.”
Snails had to admit that the logic, once again, made sense. “You sound like you’ve put some thought into this.”
Snips nodded proudly. “I have! I’ve been thinking about all the little things you’ve said. Mares like surprises. And mares like a stallion with a plan. There is nothing more uncool than telling them… ‘whatever you want to do is okay.’ I picked up a copy of ‘Confident Stallion’ yesterday after I left your house and it said that you have to plan the date from beginning to end. Hoof feed them what you want to happen and impress them with your foresight into their wants and needs.”
Snails nodded as he processed the information. “That sounds a lot like the advice in Mare’s monthly… ‘Let your stallion make the first move and see if you like what he’s showing you, and make adjustments accordingly.’ I wonder if the two magazines have the same editor…”
They arrived at the Ponyville Spa and this time Snips wasn’t surprised when Snails gave him a peck on the cheek. While it did push the boundaries of mere friendship, it was good practice and was slowly starting to break down Snips walls in showing public affection. Snips, however, was able to surprise Snails by publicly returning the peck on Snails’ own cheek before he walked away to finish the journey to his own place of employment.
Snips was whistling a happy tune to himself, pleased that he had managed to do that without burning his own face off in embarrassment. Aloe was smiling at her youngest employee.
“Ah… early today. And so happy! What has you in such a good mood?”
Snips did blush at that, but he didn’t want to lie to his boss. “Well, umm, I have a date tonight!”
Aloe’s eyes seemed to glow in excitement. “Oh, how wonderful! When is it supposed to happen?”
Snips frowned slightly, not certain where this was going. “Um. Tonight? After I get off of work?”
Aloe simply beamed. “Well then, we have no time to lose.” She turned towards where her sister was working in the back office and bellowed. “LOTUS! FULL MAKE-OVER!”
Snips heard the sound of a heavy book closing and then rapid hoofsteps. Lotus came sprinting into the main area of the spa, looking around excited. “Where? Who!”
Aloe pointed at Snips. “Snips is having his first date tonight and we have a lot of work to do.”
Lotus simply devoured Snips with her eyes. “Oh… a challenge. I haven’t had one of these in a while.”
Snips turned on his hooves to flee the Spa, but Aloe blocked him. “Tut-tut. Store policy. All employees going on a date must look their best. Everypony in town knows everypony that works here. And you must represent the spa while you’re on your date. Don’t worry… the make-over should only take ten to twelve hours…”
Snips whined. “But… but… The date is supposed to be somewhat causal, and it’s supposed to be in eight hours… besides… if I don’t work today then I won’t have the bits to pay for the date! I can’t ask a pony out and then not be able to pay for it! That’s rude.”
Lotus smiled. “Well… how about I pay you a full day’s wages for letting me give you a full make-over? I haven’t had a chance like this in ages and I do adore the full make-over effect.”
Snips sighed, resigned. “I suppose I have no choice…”
Aloe beamed. “No, you do not. And it works out perfectly because we have a lot to talk about today that will be easier if you’re not seeing clients.”
Snips gulped as they led him into a back room.
I have a bad feeling about this…
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Snails arrived at Fluttershy’s Animal Sanctuary. It hadn’t taken Snails long to realize that his cutie mark was similar to Fluttershy's. While Fluttershy seemed able to care for all animals… Snails seemed perfectly able to care for the ‘lesser desired’ animals. Snails worked very well with snakes, bats, and other creatures that most ponies were afraid of. Given his specialized nature of his cutie mark, he was even better than Fluttershy in the care of those types of creatures, which was a shock to most ponies.
Given that Fluttershy’s Sanctuary was approved by the Crown and was given a fair amount of government funding, Snail’s paychecks were above average by the standards of a day’s wage in a town as small as Ponyville. It was one of the reasons why he had been able to afford such an expensive gift for Snips yesterday.
Fluttershy smiled gently when she saw him. “Thank you for coming so early. I’m afraid that between me teaching at and you attending the School of Friendship, that we’ve fallen quite behind on several things. This might be longer than a typical eight-hour day.”
Snails gave her an easy smile. “No worries. I have a date tonight, but it should be fine if I’m a little late. So what’s first?”
Fluttershy was too shy to ask the young stallion who his date was with and was instead focused on getting everything done so he could make it on time. The day passed by quickly. Fluttershy had eleven items on her to do list and her and Snips working together like a well-oiled machine, was able to get all eleven items completed. However… eleven hours had also passed by them.
Fluttershy was a little distraught. “Oh my goodness… I’m so sorry that it took so long. Here is your pay for a full eleven hours. And please apologize to your date for me… I wasn’t trying to hold you up…”
Snails smiled again. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. See you at school tomorrow?”
Fluttershy smiled back. “Of Course! I have a special lesson planned.”
Snails nodded as he turned to walk away. “I look forward to it, Professor.”
He walked towards the Ponyville Spa. It was closer to the Sanctuary than the Ponyville Café was, and he had to hope that Snips was still working... that it had been a busy day and that Snails being late wouldn’t overly unset him. He thought back to a few recent articles.
What to do when your partner is late to dates… What to do when your partner won’t answer your most important questions… How to deal with the competition…
Snails shuttered. Stallions generally had less competition for the affection of mares than mares had for the affection of stallions, so not all of the advice seemed good for his situation. Of course… it was entirely possible that the Cutie Mark Crusaders would never return their affection and they were just wasting their time. With generalized dating advice articles in particular, sometimes you had to take the good with the bad and apply only what seemed to fit your personal situation… not that he was an expert on dating himself and the advice that he was following seemed to be working. He picked up the pace, not wanting to be any later than he already was. He arrived at the spa and walked in. He spotted an employee and trotted over.
“Is Snips still here?”
The employee smiled. “He sure is… and he’s almost ready for your date.”
Snails froze. He wasn’t sure what to say so he simply repeated what he heard. “Almost ready?”
The mare smiled. “Aloe and Lotus have been working on him all day… a full make-over. They insisted because he is an employee and it’s his first date.”
Snails gulped again but didn’t have time to reply as the curtain pulled back and Snips walked out into the main lobby. Snips locked eyes with Snails as he walked closer to his date and Snails’ jaw dropped to the floor.
Snips looked like a completely different pony. His short hair was styled in a crisp Canterlot fashion that was popular amongst young military Royal Guards and his tail was styled to match.
He had a light coat of make-up on his face that covered any blemishes. The make-up was a little weird, but it gave him an almost regal adult appearance that he might one day naturally have, and it made him appear to be very mature.
His teeth had been bleached to give a stunning smile. All four hooves had been hoovicured and then painted with a clear coat polish that made them positively shine.
He looked like he had spent a few hours soaking in a hot tub… his coat was perfectly clean and brushed. He seemed to have lost a little weight as well… perhaps a few hours in a sauna? It didn’t matter… he was stunning.
Snails gulped again as Snips closed the distance and then nuzzled him. “I’m sorry if I kept you waiting…”
Snails shook his head. “I, umm, just got here. My shift at the sanctuary ran longer than it normally does. I’m sorry that I’m not as prepared for the date as you are… I didn’t realize it was so important to you…”
Snips pulled back and smiled. “One of the perks of working for a Spa, I suppose. Well, shall be off?”
Snails walked beside his best friend as they headed to the restaurant. Aloe and Lotus both gave a contented sigh as they left.
Lotus smiled at her sister. “By Celestia… I hope it helps. Those colts still don’t seem to realize that they are perfect for each other.”
Aloe sighed too. “You can lead a pony to water, but you can’t make them drink. I sent special instructions to the Ponyville Café. This date will be perfect, I swear it.”
----------
Snips and Snails were seated immediately upon arrival, their reservation having been booked in advance, at the table with the nicest view. An appetizer of Alsatian Cheese Tarts was brought to the table without either of the stallions ordering but menus were also given so they could order the main course and dessert.
Snails seemed confused. “Did you make the reservation and order the appetizer in advance?”
Snips shook his head. “I guess Aloe or Lotus arranged that part of it. I didn’t make reservations or place any orders in advance. The café is expensive enough that it’s never packed so I didn’t think we would need a reservation. Although… this is the best table in the house so maybe that makes it special?”
Snails nodded. “Okay… I’m a little surprised that they care enough to do this for us but it’s not like we know what we’re doing so… should we look over the menu?”
Snips nodded and looked at the menu while Snails did the same. The waiter returned with a bottle of Sparkling Grape Juice and empty two glasses plus two glasses of water.
“Are you ready to order?”
Snips nodded. “I’ll have the Raviolles dauphinois with cheese and with mushrooms.”
Snails also nodded. “And I’ll have the Souffle au Comte.’
The waiter nodded and took the menus. “Excellent choices. It’ll only take a few minutes.”
The waiter walked away, and Snips poured both of them a glass of the Sparkling Grape Juice. It was like a mix of Red Wine with Champagne, but non-alcoholic. They both took a drink and laughed at how bubbly it was.
Snails took an appetizer and looked at his friend. “So… tell me about your day, dear?”
Snips blushed a little while taking an appetizer of his own. “Well. I spent most of the day getting ready for this date, but Aloe and Lotus also took the opportunity to discuss business as well.”
Snails stilled. “Are you in trouble? I know that our recent flirting practice has been affecting your work some. I’m so sorry…”
Snips cut him off. “… It’s nothing bad. They told me that of all their employees, I show the most promise. They are offering to make me the ‘Assistant Manager’ so they can consider taking a long overdue vacation. I’ll be the youngest Assistant Manager in all of Ponyville… I don’t consider Diamond Taira to be able to make that claim since hers is a family-owned business.”
Snails was once again shocked but quickly recovered and smiled. “That’s amazing! You’ve certainly earned it. I’ve seen you put in long hours and you’re the only pony at the Spa other than Aloe and Lotus themselves that I would even consider styling my mane or tail.”
Snips blushed under the praise and replied. “Thank you… tell me about your day, dear.”
Snails sighed. “We got behind on necessary work around the sanctuary. Fluttershy considers her teaching at the School of Friendship to be very important and she does take my studying very seriously as well given that I’m a student there too… but it’s starting to interfere with the proper running of the sanctuary. We had to work extra hard today to get everything caught up. She may have to hire another pony to help with the workload… at least until I graduate. She can’t risk losing funding from the Crown if it’s shown that the Sanctuary isn’t being properly maintained… and in the meantime… I may have to put in longer hours on the days we aren’t at school. I can’t risk my boss getting in trouble with the Princess. I’ll admit that I’m more tired than I normally would be and that I might be prone to over-reacting or quick to anger, which, of course I almost never am… I just got to hope that this practice date is perfect, and we go from there.”
Before Snips could reply, the main course arrived, and they both started to eat. They spoke about lighter topics while comparing and contrasting the other menu items that they looked at but didn’t order, wondering which of the main courses would appeal to the Cutie Mark Crusaders if they were asked out on a date to the Café… and the offer was accepted.
The date did go smoothly to Snips delight.
They both found themselves too full to consider a dessert and asked for the check.
The waiter shook his head. “The bill is being paid for by the Ponyville Spa. I hope that you Gentlecolts have a nice evening.”
Snips frowned while they left the table. “Aloe paid me a full day’s wages while I wasn’t working and gave me a full make-over for free… and then paid for our date? I wonder why…”
Snails didn’t answer… his gaze was fixed on the front door that they had been heading towards. Snips followed his gaze and stopped cold in his tracks.
At the front door was Sweetie Belle… and she was with Spike.
Snails walked towards Sweetie Belle and Spike with Snips by his side.
Snips whispered urgently to him. “I know your tired… and I know you’re mad… but please, dear, please… try to stay calm.”
Snails was somewhat shocked, even in his stupor, that Snips was sticking to the script of their practice date, but Snips words did seem to calm him. However, he kept walking towards Sweetie Belle and Spike. He didn’t have much choice… the front door was the only way out without using a fire escape. Going through the kitchen and out a back door might have been an option, but it was too late to turn around.
Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide when she saw Snails walking towards her. Spike didn’t seem to notice anything wrong until Snails stopped in front of Sweetie Belle. Snips worked hard to both keep his distance while at the same time, offering close, silent support for his best friend.
Snails cleared his throat and spoke calmly. “Fancy seeing you here, Sweetie Belle…”
Sweetie Belle gulped slightly but also offered a timid smile. “Hi Snails… what are you up to?”
Snails gestured to Snips. “We just finished dinner… a nice outing as friends… what are your plans for the evening?”
Sweetie gave a warmer smile. “I believe that we are about to do the same, right Spike?”
Spike rubbed the back of his neck but didn’t answer her. Sweetie Belle stilled as the possibilities ran through her mind. His lack of an answer was quite telling, and not in a good way.
Snails couldn’t help but to butt in. “Of course he intended this to be a real date, not just an outing as friends. How could he not? You remain one of the best mares in Ponyville that doesn’t have a coltfriend. I dare say that you don’t seem to appreciate your own value. Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised… you wouldn’t wait for me to be able to woo you with your blatant statement of ‘Being able to turn me down being the highlight of your day,’ hmmm?”
Sweetie Belle turned red, from embarrassment or rage Snails couldn’t tell. He continued, not waiting or caring for her to reply. “I suppose that I’ll never be good enough for you, no matter how hard I try. I guess this is goodbye. I don’t want to speak with you again. And don’t count on anymore attempts at flirting from me. I’m done wasting my time…”
As both Snails and Snips started to walk away, Sweetie Belle grabbed onto him. “Wait! This is a simple misunderstanding, I swear.”
Snails did stop and he looked at her again. “I don’t think that it is. I’ll admit that as young adults, we are both still a little naïve… but it’s as humbling as it is cute as it is frustrating that you can’t seem to see a stallion’s intentions… even if the stallion is a dragon. You can’t see that he intends to bed you after this ‘date’?”
Sweetie Belle looked at Spike, noticing that he had grown quite red in the face himself.
Sweetie Belle was genuinely shocked. “Spike? Is what he said true?”
Spike nodded. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that Rarity will never love me… her recent dating of the other members of the Wonderbolts after Rainbow Dash introduced her to all of them being the final clue. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Twilight’s court and a fair amount of time travelling with my recent appointment as the Ambassador of Friendship. We weren’t ‘close friends’ when I lived in Ponyville with Twilight, but we did spend some time together. I was hoping to pick up where we left off now that we’re both more or less adults. I did ask you out on a date, not just as an outing as friends… although I wasn’t expecting you to make love to me after a first date… I wouldn’t turn it down if you offered…”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes were as round as dinner plates. The moment seemed to take forever but she did turn back to Snails. “I don’t think I would have accepted the offer from Spike if I knew that this is what it was about. Can you forgive me, Snails?”
Snails shook his head, his exhaustion allowing a level of blunt honestly that he normally wouldn’t have been able to allow himself to use. “No. I can’t. We have known each other since we were foals. Long before Spike and Princess Twilight showed up in town. We went to school together. Played together. We helped each other some. And now we’re at the School of Friendship together. You never told me to stop trying to flirt with you, but you appear to be as big of a tease as your sister. You take enjoyment in using other ponies, just like Rarity used Spike for years, you’re using me for a cheap laugh. You have broken my heart even though it wasn’t yours to break. I can’t forgive you. And I won’t forgive you.”
Snails tried to walk away again but Sweetie Belle stopped him again. “Wait… we are both students at the School of Friendship. Our professors would be very upset if we couldn’t solve a friendship problem.”
Snails raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh? And what would our professors say, hmmm?”
Sweetie Belle cleared her throat. “Fluttershy… your boss, would say that it is ‘kind’ to accept an apology, even if you don’t want to, because it is wrong to force a pony to live in the misery of not apologizing or accepting the apology. And my sister would say that giving and accepting an apology is 'generous' because it reduces the burden of both ponies.”
Snails nodded. “That does sound like something they would say… however… Apple Jack would say that it is wise to be honest with your feelings even if it hurts the other pony because honesty is important. And Rainbow Dash would give me a high hoof for standing up for myself because being a doormat is uncool. That makes us tied. What else you got?”
Sweetie Belle glanced around, suddenly uncomfortable with the audience their argument had drawn. “Pinkie Pie would throw us a party and request that we remain friends. Emphasis on friends.”
Snails snorted. “And Princess Twilight would refuse to get involved, citing that she wouldn’t want to accidently order us to get married as the Princess of Equestria… but she would scold Spike in private for damaging our friendship. So we’re still tied.”
Sweetie Belle looked at Spike for support, but he shook his head. “Snails’ isn’t wrong. At the rate this is going… I will get scolded once I return to Canterlot. I can’t lie to Twilight.”
Sweetie Belle was racking her brain for a tie breaker saying from among the rest of the staff that would support her point, but Snails beat her to it. With a firm voice, he practically scolded her…
“Headmare Starlight Glimmer recently said that friendship shouldn’t come at the cost of violating your personal beliefs and compromising more than your comfortable with. I practically admitted that I loved you two days ago, and you brushed me off saying that we couldn’t date until you got a job, even though you’re not looking for one… as if I wasn’t able to financially support you as my marefriend or wife, even with my high paying government job at Fluttershy’s Sanctuary. It sounded reasonable, at the time, but it’s really not. Even with Snips being unable to successfully flirt with or court either of the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders… that shouldn’t have stopped us from dating. Maybe it’s my fault. I didn’t want to leave my best friend behind… alone. But it’s also your fault for not being able to tell me ‘no’ in a way that wouldn’t break my heart. You wanted me to flirt with you, you liked the attention… but you’ll never accept my affection. And this date with Spike proves it, whether you wanted to admit it to yourself or not. Maybe you didn’t think that anypony would call you out on it. Maybe you didn’t think that it mattered. Well. It matters to me. Please don’t cancel your date on account of little ‘ole me. I hope you have a wonderful evening. Take care of yourself.”
Snails walked out of the restaurant without looking back. He wasn’t crying but he was close.
Snips stopped in front of Sweetie Belle, a look of disgust plain on his face. “I hope you’re happy with yourself. I worked hard to make this outing as special as possible for him and you ruined it! You’ve tried so hard all these years to not be like your sister but you’re exactly the same! Attention whorse! Always wanting to be the center of attention. Always waving off offers that didn’t suit you. What’s next? Going to ask Snails to fetch you some rare gems just for a pat on the head? Or perhaps you’ll ask for advice that you’ll completely ignore? Or better yet… you’ll have him cancel all his plans to help you prepare for your next date with somepony else! I believe I’ll follow Snails’ lead and stop trying to flirt with Apple Bloom or Scootaloo… not that they’ll actually care. If you’ll excuse me… I have to go undo all the damage you’ve caused…”
Snips left the restaurant without a second look back.
Spike winced as Sweetie Belle visibly deflated. Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “What should we do now?”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I’m going home. You can do whatever you want.”
Spike hedged against her words… “Are you sure?”
Sweetie Belle practically screamed while closing her eyes and not looking at him. “I am not an attention whorse! I thought we were friends! This wasn’t supposed to be a date! You’ve loved my sister for years! You’re not allowed to just randomly dump your feelings onto me. I can’t be my sister and I won’t be my sister! Just go back to Canterlot, Spike. I’m done with you.”
Spike watched her walk away and he sighed. The maître looked sympathetic. “Would you like to cancel your reservation, or would you like to dine alone?”
Spike rubbed his face, a little upset. “I guess I’ll dine alone. No sense returning to Canterlot on an empty stomach. I’ll take a dragon specific menu please…”
----------
Snips caught up with Snails quickly enough after he had given Sweetie Belle a piece of his mind and he adjusted his pace to where Snails could lean against him as they walked. It would have normally been uncomfortable for a pony as short as Snips to hold up a much taller pony like Snails but today was no normal day.
It had been the best first date ever… until it wasn’t. It didn’t even matter that they were just friends and it had been a practice date for the ponies they had hoped to impress someday… ponies that were now seemingly out of the picture. Snips only had one job right now… get Snails home safely.
As for Snails… he wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going so Snips had to nudge him into the correct direction. Before long, they were back at Snails house. Snips led Snails to his bedroom and helped him get into bed, covering him up with the cuddle blanket that they had.
Snips cleaned himself up from the walk back and was trying to decide if he wanted to get into bed with Snails or just go home. They had discussed cuddling more. Cuddling until it felt natural. But… now just didn’t feel like the right time. He couldn’t take advantage of his friend.
Snips sighed and moved to let himself out of the room when he heard Snails sniffle. The sound forced Snips to pause and wait. It didn’t take long for Snails to shift in bed, and he turned to face Snips.
“Can you cuddle with me?”
Snips gulped. “Are you sure? After last night I’m not sure I trust myself not to have another weird dream with unintended consequences. The last thing you need is more to cry about…”
Snails gave his friend a weak smile. “I think that an accidental horn job in your sleep is more honest than an accidental first date. At least you won’t break my heart… will you Snips?”
The tremor in Snails’ voice was heartbreaking in its own right. Snips breath caught in his throat. All the memories of their foalhood passed by him. All the good things and the bad… every decision that led to this moment.
Snips swallowed any reservations and spoke with certainty. “No Snails… I won’t break your heart.”
With that… he crawled into bed with his best friend and went to sleep, holding each other.
The next week passed by with incredible speed. Snips was working more hours at the Spa, learning how to be the Assistant Manager so the owners could take their overdue vacation and Snails worked longer hours at the Sanctuary, helping to keep it in tip-top shape while Fluttershy was away teaching or handling friendship problems. They both earned extra pay for their efforts.
The professors at the School of Friendship had heard all about the incident at the Ponyville Café and was more than happy to help Snips and Snails out by having their coursework delivered to them by courier so they could work the longer hours at their respective jobs and not fall behind in their classes, all the while avoiding another confrontation between the stallions and the Cutie Mark Crusaders until everypony was ready for it. It kinda went against the motto of the School of Friendship not to actively try to fix a friendship problem but this was untested waters… with the ponies involved being either related to or personally employed by members of the staff.
Rarity was embarrassed by Sweetie Belle's actions but was enraged by Spike’s actions and she sent a very strongly worded letter to both Spike and Twilight. It was clear to her that somepony would have to step in to fix this friendship problem eventually but Rarity herself was hesitant to get involved because she didn’t want to be accused of any form of favoritism.
For the same reason, Fluttershy wanted to avoid the situation since Snails was her only employee, and a good employee, at that. She didn’t feel like it was her place as his boss or his teacher to interfere with his love life outside of work and school.
Apple Jack had been aware of Snips poor attempts at flirting with Apple Bloom and she didn’t see the harm in a little innocent flirting but was honestly just as grateful that Apple Bloom hadn’t been present when Snails and Sweetie Belle had their little spat at the restaurant. While Apple Jack didn't feel 'good' about Sweetie Belle being put into her place socially in such a public way... she did have to admit that Snails wasn't wrong about how she felt about the importance of honestly, especially in something as important as a relationship. His application of her lessons in a practical way might be worth extra points on a test...
Rainbow Dash had also agreed with what Snails had said… she was proud of him for not being a doormat, but she also had no advice for Scootaloo about the situation. Scootaloo may not have liked Snips’ attempts at flirting but doing nothing was partly to blame for what happened.
Nopony chose to comment on Sweetie Belle’s original decision to say yes to an outing with Spike. She wasn’t in an official relationship with Snails so it wouldn’t have been considered cheating, even if the flirting was a clear indication of interest. Spike had clearly moved on from Rarity, but it was awkward to see him try for Sweetie Belle. If it was a problem for future Spike, then he had better try to solve it sooner rather than later, for everyponies sake.
Meanwhile… Snips and Snails had made a point to go out together to every restaurant and food stand in Ponyville, having date after date after work, and in the evenings, returning to Snails house while they cuddled away the night. It had only taken a week but both stallions found themselves fully comfortable with each other cuddling, having dates, and even showing some mild affection in public. In the wake of Snails heartache from Sweetie Belle's planned or unplanned date with Spike... they had found more than just simple comfort in each other's company.
Snips read every issue of Mare Monthly that Snails had kept from his mother’s collection, and they read the latest issue together that they themselves had picked up that day. It was a special topic issue with the entire magazine devoted to a single topic.
How to propose to your special somepony.
Snips could feel a blush creep up on his face as he finished the last article. The articles had made some very valid points and Snips was forced to consider them one point at a time.
Step One. Have a job that can support yourself and your partner.
Snips had a very good paying job at the Spa, and he wasn’t likely to lose it anytime soon, at least if the promotion to Assistant Manager was any indication. Also… Snails had a job too… so that would make it twice as easy for them to be financially comfortable together.
Step Two. Have a place to live that both you and your partner like.
That one was harder given that they both still lived at home with their parents, but with their incomes, they should be able to afford a house together.
Step Three. Discuss the future of the household.
They clearly couldn’t have foals together but there was nothing stopping them from adopting a foal. The Orphanages were always overcrowded, although nopony seemed to ever know why. As a Mane Dresser or manager, Snips could go wherever he was needed but as a worker at the Sanctuary, Snails’ career would keep him in Ponyville. Snips was fine with that… he could be happy wherever Snails was…
Funny thing, happiness. It takes so little to find… or to lose.
Snails seemed to be having similar thoughts as he looked to Snips… “About this article…”
Snips smiled shyly. “Thinking about the future?”
Snails smiled back. “Something like that… I think… the incident with Sweetie Belle woke me up to the fact that you are all I’ve ever needed. Maybe we’ve been friends for so long that I never realized that I loved you. But you’ve been here for me. You’ve seen my tears, shared my sorrow and you’ve never judged me. I think that we have the careers we need to support each other… there is nothing stopping us from buying a house with our combined incomes… and we can adopt foals when we want to start a family. We don’t need those mares…”
Snips felt his heart race. “You… love me?”
Snails gasped as he just realized that he did say it. “Yes… I love you. Will you marry me?”
Snips’ eyes glistened. “Yes… I will marry you.”
Snails leaned in to kiss Snips… and this time, it was a real kiss. They locked lips and gave in to the passion that they had briefly felt while exploring their feelings for each other and ‘practicing’ all the things they had originally hoped to use on the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They both came up for air only reluctantly and laughed as the giddiness sank in.
Snips sighed as the weight of the commitment seemed to settle on him. “Part of me wants to say that we are rushing this… we’ve only been dating or practicing dating for about 8 days, 10 days if you include the flirting and cuddling practice. But we’ve been friends since before we could talk. 17 years is a long time to know a pony.”
Snails nodded. He could understand what Snips was saying. “Well, the best I can do right now is buy you a ring. The mayor would marry us anytime we wished but I think we should wait until after we graduate from the School of Friendship. I don’t think anypony would judge us, but I don’t want us to be the only married couple, as students, at the school.”
Snips smiled warmly. “And in the meantime, we can go buy a house and get ready for the wedding. The Cutie Mark Crusaders are going to be shocked!”
Snails sighed at that. He knew it was true, but it was also inconvenient. “I guess that means I owe Sweetie Belle an apology. I can’t hate what she did to me when it led me to you. Walk with me?”
Snips nodded eagerly. “Of course… you’re not alone. I’ll be with you for as long as I live.”
They shared another kiss before getting up to leave the house.
----------
Sweetie Belle had done a lot of thinking and a lot of crying, but she was ready to offer an apology. It would have been easier at school, but Snips and Snails had both stopped attending in pony. Sweetie was looking over various items for sale at a street vendor, looking for an apology gift, when she saw Snips and Snails walking together towards the markets. They were leaning against each other, as if offering comfort.
Sweetie Belle gulped. Is he still that upset? I guess I would be too if a stallion I had been flirting with broke my heart by showing up at the nicest date restaurant in town with another mare…
Sweetie abandoned the plan to buy a gift and trotted right up to them. “Hi Snails… do you have a minute?”
Snails looked down at her. “Ah, Sweetie. I was looking for you. Yes, I have a few minutes to spare. What did you want to discuss?”
Sweetie nodded eagerly. “I… wanted to apologize to you. After some heavy thinking, I realize now that I should have seen Spike’s offer as a date, and it embarrasses me that I didn’t see it at the time. I probably owe him an apology too… I blew him off pretty harshly after you left the restaurant that night. I wanted you to know first, that I don’t think that I would ever be comfortable with the idea of dating Spike because I’ll always see it as a thinly veiled attempt to stay close to my sister, through me. I am still trying to leave my sister’s shadow but part of me is still following her in hoofsteps in some small way. I have a job lined up! I’m going to start teaching at the School of Friendship after I graduate in a few months. Headmare Starlight has already approved it… pending you accepting my apology…”
Snails nodded. “I’ll go to the school today to tell Starlight that I accept your apology. I wanted to thank you and apologize too. My words, while maybe not wrong… was harsh, and I dislike that I embarrassed you in public like that. I probably owe Spike an apology too… since I messed up what probably was a very detailed plan. I have to thank you at the same time though. That confrontation, although undesired, did help me discover part of myself that I never saw previously, and I am grateful to you for opening my eyes to it. I hope that we can always be friends if nothing else.”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes danced with delight… “Well, we don’t have to be ‘just friends’ anymore. Once I start my job, we can start dating! I’ll admit to you, privately, that I do miss all the flirting. I guess the old saying is true… you don’t know what you’ve got until its gone.”
Snails sagged slightly, not sure what to say. Snips nudged him and Snails looked at him. Snips asked a quiet question. “Should I tell her?”
Snails nodded and Snips cleared his throat. “I’m afraid that the time for flirting and dating has passed. Snails and I are engaged. As a matter of fact… we are headed to the jewelers right now for the rings.”
Sweetie Belle looked back and forth between them and gasped. “You are? I… I don’t know what to say… do you… umm… plan on having a herd? Maybe take a lonely mare into the mix?”
Snails shook his head. “I haven’t considered having a herd and we honestly haven’t planned that far ahead… we had planned on adopting for foals… no mare needed. You broke my heart and Snips put it back together. I’m not trying to break yours but…”
Sweetie Belle sniffled as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “No… I understand. Some mistakes can’t be fixed… but like you said… we can stay friends… right?”
Snails pulled her into a hug. “Of course. I’m happy to be your friend… but no more flirting. I love Snips…”
Sweetie nodded into his mane. “I’m so happy for you… I really am. If you’ll excuse me… I have some other errands to run.”
Snails released her and she ran off, failing to hide her tears. Snails frowned at Snips. “Did I do the right thing?”
Snips shrugged. “I don’t know. I know she is probably as heartbroken as you were, but she has friends to help her move passed it like you had me for. Feelings are hard to manage. At least we don’t have to worry about estrus.”
Snails snorted at the thought. “Well, let’s get those rings.”
Snips nuzzled into him again and they resumed their walk, perfectly happy with each other and the future they were about to build for themselves and each other.
Over the last 6 months, Snips and Snails went through all the motions of preparing for the rest of their lives. But… they also had to set things straight so there would be no problems down the road. The first few steps of that process involved the School of Friendship.
Headmare Starlight Glimmer was happy to hear about the apologies given and accepted, and rubber-stamped Sweetie Belle’s application to teach at the School of Friendship after her own graduation. Sweetie Belle was sullen about losing both Snails and Spike from her dating pool but was just as happy as to not have to give up on her chosen career. She could be grateful for Snails’ generosity towards her in that regard if nothing else.
Snips and Snails both graduated with honors from the School of Friendship, allowing them the opportunity to work in nearly any city within Equestria, in any job that they wanted to, that in some way resembled their cutie marks’ special talent. When pressed on how they managed such good grades, they simply replied that they were working hard for their special somepony so that they would be able to provide the best possible life to their partner.
Very shortly after graduation, Snips and Snails brought a house together in Ponyville, near Whitetail Woods, roughly halfway in-between the Ponyville Spa and Fluttershy’s Animal Sanctuary, which gave both stallions an easy walk to their respective jobs. It was a big step in their relationship but also shocking to all of their friends that they had the bits saved up to buy a house in the first place. At the insistence of their friends, they held a house-warming party so that everypony could buy one gift each for the happy couple to help ease the transition from living with their parents to living with each other. Even Sweetie Belle brought them a gift… as a peace offering, and Snails accepted it in kind.
The wedding plans had been going smoothly, with all of their friends pitching in. While finalizing the wedding date and the last few details… they realized that they were missing something very important.
They both needed Best Mares… and they knew exactly who to ask. Snips and Snails walked up to the Cutie Mark Crusaders while enjoying a day off from their jobs.
Snails called out to them. “Hey girls… do you have a minute?”
Sweetie Belle nodded and tried to keep her expression composed. “Sure, what’s up?”
Snails gave her a full smile. “Well… the wedding is in a few weeks, and it came to our attention that we don’t have Best Mare’s. We were both hoping that you would be my Best Mare and that Apple Bloom would be Snips’ Best Mare?”
Sweetie Belle’s heart broke all over again. Not only did she have to face the fact that she had driven him away but now he wanted her to, not only attend, but be a part of the wedding?
Snails’ smile faded as he saw the look on her face… “Um. You don’t have to, of course… I guess I didn’t expect you to still be sore about the whole thing, especially after that house-warming gift.”
Sweetie Belle sighed but then smiled. “Of course I’ll be your Best Mare… on two conditions.”
Snails looked at Snips and Snips raised an eyebrow. “Are they reasonable conditions? Snails has his heart set on this even though I told him I thought it was a bad idea…”
Sweetie Belle tensed. “They sound reasonable to me… but I guess I’m not a good judge of how you stallions will take things, or we’d be a couple right now ourselves…”
Snails nodded. “I’m willing to hear you out. What are your conditions?”
Sweetie Belle took in a deep breath and exhaled. “First. I want to wear a wedding dress. Since both of you will be in suits… it won’t ruin the ‘brides’ moment since there’s no bride. And second… I want first dibs on getting married to you if you ever expand your marriage into a herd. I know you’ve said twice now that you weren’t planning on having a herd… but if you ever changed your mind… I want due consideration… given our friendship and past flirting.”
Snails looked at Apple Bloom. “Would you want the same conditions?”
Apple Bloom gulped. Her sister had warned her not to get involved with the on-going issues between Snails and Sweetie Belle. Their friendship was still very rocky.
“Umm. Ah wouldn’t want to look out of place not wearing a wedding dress if Sweetie Belle is? Ah mean… if we were both in wedding dresses, it would make it look intentional instead of show stealin’ or weddin’ crashing. Ah won’t force Snips to promise me first dibs on being his wife in a herd… but it would warm my heart if the offer was open… eventually.”
Snails looked at Snips. “What do you think, dear?”
Snips nodded slowly. “The request isn’t unreasonable… but I have two counter conditions.”
Sweetie Belle nodded back. “And they are?”
Snips grinned. “You may both wear wedding dresses as our Best Mares… but you have to get Rarity to make them for free or pay for them yourselves. We won’t pay for your dresses. And second… I want you to stop asking about a herd. If we change our minds, you’ll be the first know, but stop poking at it.”
Sweetie Belle sighed. “That’s… fair. I’ll talk to my sister today. I’m sure she can make two dresses within a couple of weeks. Not poking at the herd concept won’t be easy for me… we don’t joke about a lot of stuff anymore… but its not like its flirting. It’s just… I want to recapture the part of our friendship that we lost when Spike tricked me into going on a date with him.”
Snails conceded the point. “Just keep it reasonable.”
Sweetie Belle took the partial victory and led Apple Bloom to the Carousel Boutique for their dresses. As expected, Rarity was happy to help but insisted on a wedding dress in a basic fashion that would be more in line with what a Best Mare or Bride’s Maid would normally wear.
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The last three weeks before the wedding flew by as if they had used a spell to speed time along.
The big day was set with perfect Spring weather. Not a single cloud in the sky. Nearly every pony in Ponyville was in attendance, including some shop owners who were just as happy to be closed to attend the wedding proper.
Princess Twilight herself consented to marry the couple and had flown to Ponyville to conduct the wedding. Snails was standing at the altar, waiting for it to begin.
Twilight leaned in. “Are you nervous?”
Snails nodded. “A little… Snips decided on a last-minute change and I’m not sure it’s going to go over well but I couldn’t talk him out of it…”
The music startled and Snips appeared and started to walk down the aisle. Everyone gasped.
He was wearing one of the most beautiful wedding dresses a pony could imagine. The white silk and lacy frill danced in the wind. His veil didn’t cover the happy expression on his face and the train of the dress was long enough for a noble. He was levitating flowers in his magic. And his eyes glistened with unshed tears.
Sweetie Belle leaned in to whisper urgently to Snails. “Why is he in a wedding dress?”
Snails shrugged. “Because I’m the top in our relationship and for some reason wearing a dress made him happy.”
The statement wasn’t generally meant to be sexual… but Sweetie Belle blushed anyways.
As Snips settled up next to Snails at the Alter, they briefly nuzzled each other and waited for Princess Twilight to begin.
Twilight cleared her throat. “I can still remember the first time I met Snips and Snails… They had lured an Ursa Minor into Ponyville so that Trixie could vanquish it, as per her boosting in one of her stage performances. Needless to say, it didn’t go well, and I had to step in. They were very lucky not to have been injured in that incident.
But… that reinforces who they are. They have been through thick and thin together, never having left each other’s side. For all the adventurers they enjoyed as foals and then as colts… now they will walk together into the adventure of adulthood, hoof in hoof, never looking back… only looking towards each other and their future together. Their love should be an inspiration to all the ponies around them and I am honored to be able to marry them.
Mares and Gentlecolts… we are gathered here today to witness the union of these two stallions in divine matrimony, under the blessings of the Princess of Equestria. Do you, Snails, take this stallion as your lawfully wedded spouse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do you part?”
Snails nodded. “I do.”
Twilight looked at Snips. “Do you, Snips. Take this stallion as your lawfully wedded spouse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death do you part?”
Snips sniffed. “I do.”
Twilight smiled. “Then as ruler of Equestria, I pronounce you Husbands and Gentlecolts, you may kiss your spouse.”
Snails lifted the veil and kissed Snips in a warmly passionate kiss that caused the crowd to clap and roar enthusiastically. The happy couple led the guests to the reception area where the cake was cut, and the first dance was had. It was a Pinkie Pie Wedding Party that was going to last all day. A few hours into the party, it was getting closer to the time for speeches.
Snails made his way over to Sweetie Belle. “I know it’s traditional for the best mare to give a speech but if you say anything about a herd during your speech… I will never speak to you again… and this time I mean it…”
Sweetie Belle gulped but wasn’t able to reply before she was called to the podium to give her speech. She cleared her throat nervously.
Welp. His threat kills half my speech, most of my anecdotes and nearly all of my jokes. So what’s left? A confession?
“This isn’t going to be your typical Best Mare speech… I have a few things I’d like to get off my chest and generally clear the air. Most of you know parts of what I’m about to say but I doubt anypony except the ones involved know the whole story.
I’ve known Snails since we were foals… I dare say I’ve known him almost as long as Snips has. He’s not the first pony I think of when I think first crush… but he might be in the top three…”
There was some faint murmuring as Rarity rushed up to the podium. “Sweetie Belle! Stop! You’re going to ruin the wedding…”
Snails spoke up. “Let her finish… I want to hear this.”
Rarity backed off and Sweetie Belle continued. “Well… we all entered the School of Friendship at the same time after graduating from Miss Cheerilee’s Ponyville Primary School, so we had a lot of the same classed together at the same time. Snips and Snails spent a fair amount of time flirting with all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders while we all attended the School of Friendship. It was cute and light-hearted, and I never thought I would miss it.”
Sweetie Belle looked at Snails and he gave her a gentle nod as permission to continue.
“I had very good practical reasons for turning down Snails at the time that he first asked me out, but I never expected things to change, let alone change so quickly. I thought the flirting would continue and I guess… part of me hoped he would wait until I was ready to date.
I was shocked when I was told that Snips and Snails were engaged. At first… I thought maybe it was joke to get back me for not taking his feelings seriously. And I stubbornly kept that mindset until I saw the rings and knew that it really wasn’t a joke. It took a while for me to accept it… but I acknowledge now that Snips and Snails are really in love with each other, and I couldn’t be happier for them. Three cheers for the happy couple!”
The partygoers let loose a chorus of ‘Hip Hip, Hurray! Hip Hip, Hurray! Hip Hip, Hurray!’
Sweetie Belle smiled warmly at Snips and Snails. “I hope you both live happily ever after…”
Snips and Snails both walked up to the podium and pulled her into a tight hug.
Together, as one, they whispered to her. “Thank you for everything.”
Sweetie Belle nodded into the hug, trying not to cry. “You’re welcome, my friends.”
