And Then There Was Fun
The royal carriage flew across the country lane. Each bump in the path sent its occupants jolting up from their plum velvet-lined seating, but they weren’t about to start complaining.
It wasn’t every day that they received invitations from royalty inviting them from Manehattan to Canterlot for a private gathering.
Two of the attendees, however, were more than a little concerned about their hostess.
“So, you’ve all heard the rumors?” Count Dressage broke the silence that had thickened the air for the last hour of travel.
Mayor Myriad scoffed. “They’re hardly rumors, dear. Everypony knows about Molestia.”
The three other ponies shuffled in their seats and cleared their throats. The mere mention of the princess had ruffled their feathers.
“You’ve never met her, you can’t possibly say-“
“Oh, come off it! You needn’t have met Molestia to know all about her. Frankly I’m second guessing my decision to be here. Who knows what she’ll do?” Sneered the Duke of Damsire.
The Count leaned in, curiosity piqued.
“So it really is true. You know, I heard that she’s… ahem… violated even her own sister. Y-You don’t think she’ll try to do that to us, do you?”
“Honestly!” Mademoiselle Gallopvont struck the seat for emphasis. “The Princess has so kindly invited us to dine with her and you’re all talking about her behind her back like schoolfoals!”
“However do you think it happened? For a pony that rules over all of us to be such a… deviant?” The Mayor asked the group, utterly ignoring Gallopvont’s protest, “Do you think she was born that way?”
“No.” The Duke wiggled his mustache and adjusted his monocle, “I heard it was her younger sister, Luna. A juvenile prank gone awry. A curse which could never be unwritten.”
A shudder jumped up the Count’s spine. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all…
“That could be it. Certainly it would take magic to spawn a creature of such baseless desire.”
“I suppose it’s mere coincidence,” Gallopvont started up again, casting her eyes outside the carriage to the dirt path rushing by, “That there is talk of the princess forming allegiance with the Griffons. Let’s not forget that leaked tirade of yours from five years ago, Mayor.”
The mayor returned a frazzled look, “Now look here! That was a piece of blatant misinformation planted by the opposing candidate to slander my campaign! I resent the insinuation that I-“
“Ladies. Let us not talk politics.”
“I agree. We’ve got more pressing matters to worry about.” The Duke was referring to the fact that their carriage had taken a sudden incline. It made its way up winding mountain paths. At the top of this mountain was Canterlot castle.
The coach soared through the streets of Canterlot, which this time of night were not as vibrant as they’d usually be. Upwards toward the castle it went. All four ponies wrestled to get a look out the window and up at the impressive structure before them. Its many towers pierced the inky night sky, and glistening white waterfalls tumbled down the mountainside above it. It was quite remarkable how the enormous building, with its many wings, walkways, courtyards and staircases, actually hung over the edge of the cliff. Many miles below smaller towns glittered through the night, surrounded by invisible fields.
The guests exchanged a look–one full of excitement and just a twinge of nervousness. What was Molestia’s reason for inviting them all here tonight? Were they walking right into a trap which would render them nothing more than the latest victims of her insatiable debauchery?
The carriage came to a halt.
“We’re here.” Announced its driver.
One by one, the guests jumped out to find a guard awaiting them by the grand front entrance.
“Welcome, esteemed guests. The princess has prepared the dining hall for you. If you’d like to follow me.”
As they followed him inside they were overwhelmed by a feast of opulence drenching every room. There was the great entrance with stairs that seemed to climb to the heavens and every hallway was lined with and endless supply of beautiful ornaments. Paintings of rural scenes, vases, statues. They could feel the history in every inch of wallpaper, and there was nothing to suggest Molestia was anything out of the ordinary. If she truly was a sex fiend, she certainly didn’t make it known through her interior decoration,
As they followed the guard up two more flights of stairs and across an open walkway, things got a little strange. The paintings passing by them on either side were no longer of country lanes and cloudy skies. Instead it was an endless row of painted pony posteriors. An orange one adorned with apples. A green one wearing dual harps. Stallions, mares, even Griffons. All four guests were blushing at the sight of this heinie hallway.
“Say, what’s with these paintings?” Asked the Count, too curious to remain silent.
The guard leading them didn’t break stride.
“They are the princess’ favorite part of pony anatomy.” He answered very professionally and curtly, as if he’d had the question a hundred times before.
Gallopvont squinted at a few of them and swore she could see something glistening. Something wet that wasn’t paint.
Before thoughts about what it was could fester in her mind, they were at the dining hall and shown into their seats.
Just like every other part of the castle its expanse was dizzying. It seemed like far too much for such a small party. Still, they took their seats at the long table and awaited their host.
They didn’t have to wait long. Only a few moments later the doors split open again and in swanned their gracious host and ruler. Everypony got down from their seat and bowed.
“Oh, please. You can leave the formalities at the front door. I want my wonderful test subjects to feel at ease in my castle.” She stopped suddenly, mid-strut, “Whoopsie! Forget the test part, I meant to say subjects!”
Molestia filled the room with a kittenish giggle, but that supposed slip-up had her guests sharing concerned looks.
The first thing they noticed, other than the princess’ regal aura and flowing lilac mane, was a curious odor in the air that hadn’t been there before. Sweet. Floral. Feminine. Like a perfume that was slightly expired. None of them could place it, but it only grew in intensity as Molestia took her seat at the head of the table and examined her guests, eyes filled with what appeared to be lust.
“What a lovely pack of ponies I selected for this evening.”
“A-About that, your majesty..” The mayor spoke up.
“What exactly was your reason for inviting us here? N-Not that we’re not all very grateful for the invitation!”
The rest of the group nodded in agreement.
“It’s alright. It’s only natural you’d all be curious. Tonight you’ll be engaging in a wine tasting.”
“Wine tasting?” Blurted the duke, surprised.
“Yes! I was led to believe you were all ponies of class. This won’t be your first rodeo, I hope?”
“Not at all!” Gallopvont cut in, “Why, your majesty, in Prance we would always admire the bouquet before taking a single drop! My nose is quite accustomed to the intricacies of each note, I assure you!”
The rest all followed her with their own promises of prior experience, but Molestia could tell they were making it up to save their flanks.
“I’m glad to hear it, but tonight’s selections will be quite a bit different than what you had in Prance. I’ve procured some very, very rare vintage bottles. In fact, they’re so exclusive, that…”
They could all hear the twinkle of magic. Molestia floated four bundles of fabric across to the table and dropped one in front of each guest. They were blindfolds.
“You’ll have to put these on, please.”
“Are you sure it’s quite necessary?” The duke turned and asked.
“Absolutely necessary! You don’t mean to tell me you weren’t blindfolded the last times you tasted wine? A blind test is crucial to ensure impartiality!”
“Quite right.”
The guests hesitated for a second. Cutting out one of their five senses while in the den of this supposed sex fiend seemed like a terrible idea, but there wasn’t much room to say no to the ruler of all Equestria.
Molly watched with an eager toothy grin as the four ponies strapped the blindfolds over their heads. Everything went dark.
“Are you all ready? I think I’ll bring out the first sample. I’m afraid this particular bottle is far too expensive to taste, but I’d like you to enjoy the aroma all the same.”
Four glasses settled on the table in front of the guests, but they weren’t full of wine.
In fact, they weren’t filled with liquid at all. Instead, four pairs of crumpled, recently-used panties had been scrunched into the bottoms of the glasses. Two a dusky blue patterned with crescent moons, and two yellowish white and covered in suns. Celestia’s were so fresh that their glasses were foggy.
“There. Now that the wine’s aerated, let’s bring it to our noses and sniff.”
Celestia tried to suppress a snicker as her four guests unwittingly poured the rims to their snouts and took a deep inhale. Immediately they were struck by the highly unusual odor.
“Eugh!” Outburst Gallopvont, “It’s so astringent!”
“Are you… sure this is wine?” The Count took a heaver whiff of his slightly damp Luna panties, “It smells like no wine I’ve ever had.”
“You’re questioning my expertise?”
He shrunk back into his seat in silence as soon as she asked him that.
“Astringent is right. Any other notes you can detect, Mademoiselle?” Celestia bit her lip and kept her eye on the frumpy old tart. The pair of panties stuffed into her glass were a pair of her own. A pair she’d worn all day today, she’d been jogging out in the sun to get them all sweaty, rubbing her crotch while leafing through the latest issue of PlayColt to give them some musk, and using them as a makeshift cum rag when the double-page spread of Fluttershy’s supple wings brought her to a premature explosion.
She opened her nostrils wider, pushing her muzzle deeper into the glass and snorting.
“It’s quite sour. Citrusy, almost. But with an oaky, spicy, full body!”
“Citrusy, mm, yes…” Molestia’s hoof slunk below the table and quietly started to stroke.
“I like mine!” The duke was huffing down the scent of Luna’s undies like it was a field of flowers. That pair Celestia had dug out the bottom of the dirty laundry hamper. There was no telling how long they’d been fermenting down there, and how many times her younger sister had painted the crotch with her thick juices after one of Molly’s midnight molestation sessions.
“You’re a fan of that one?”
“Sniffsniff, yes! Ooh, yes! It’s so fruity, yet ripe. Is that apricot I detect?”
The princess ceased her clopping. Now she thought about it, Luna’s lovejuice did smell a little bit like apricots. She resumed.
“Apricot? Very good. And you, mayor?”
“It almost smells like a soggy washcloth dipped in hot sauce. I… I’m enjoying the fragrance though, your majesty. As bizarre as it is, this must be a very vintage wine.”
“Now switch glasses.” Sweat rolled down her face as she spread her legs and upped her hoof’s movements. Fortunately the shlicking sound was subtle enough to be lost beneath the tablecloth, “I want you to tell me which is better. The first, or the second?”
Molestia took hold of each glass with her magic and shuffled them around, so that those who had been unknowingly breathing in her dirty panties were now savoring her sister’s and vice versa.
“Ooh, this one’s even better!” The duke dug his nose in and really took a whiff. She’d have to remember this one and his penchant for sniffing.
“I preferred the first.” Gallopvont reluctantly had to admit.
“Me too.” Agreed the mayor.
“I don’t know, I think this one has more of a kick to it. It’s oddly… hmm, addictive…” The Count murmured.
Molestia always knew her musk was better. This ego-stroke, combined with the hoof-strokes beneath the table were enough. Concealing a deep, womanly moan, she quickly floated four empty wine glasses over from the cabinet and thrust them under the tablecloths. Her eyes rolled back into her head, drool trickled from one side of her mouth, and while the guests were all still busy sniffing and admiring their bouquets, she fired a thick, musty jet into the glasses.
“A-Ahhh… Now, how would you like to actually taste some wine?” The tone of her voice was noticeably more relaxed, but none of them seemed to notice. They also didn’t notice the tang of alicon orgasm in the air, likely because the panties overpowered everything.
“Yes, please!” They all responded in unison.
Molestia brought the four glasses up onto the table. Conveniently, a good dose of nectar sprayed into all four, slowly oozing down the sides and collecting at the bottom. Still warm.
She slid a glass in front of each pony. Quite frankly, watching them sip on her juices would be enough to have her fill the glasses a second time.
Before they even thought about taking those sips, though, the arresting scent was at their nostrils.
“I say!” Gasped the count, “That’s the wine? It’s got such a strong odor!”
“It’s like… sugary chlorine!”
“Yes.” Molly snickered, “This one is extra aged.”
Her magic lifted the glasses. She brought the rims towards each pair of puckered lips.
Her hoof had already returned to her crotch when the dining room door flew open. Princess Luna marched in with a scowl etched on her face that she’d been practicing in front of her mirror for the last half an hour.
“S-Sister! I would really appreciate it if you stopped stealing my underwear! This is the third time this week, and-“
She paused and took in the scene before her.
“Sister! Are these ponies about to drink your… your-“
At once the guests all flipped off their blindfolds and beheld the glasses full of cloudy goo.
A chorus of revulsed gasps and horrified whimpers rang around the table. Gallopvont started scraping off her tongue. The mayor looked like he was about to throw up. The duke, though… he still looked a little curious.
Molestia just rubbed her forehead with her hoof.
“What did I tell you about interrupting my wine tastings, Luna? Guards!”
At once four guards poured into the room and held the guests.
“Take them to the fungeon.”
“M’aam, we’re at capacity down there.”
“The regular dungeon then! I’ll deal with them later.”
They left, with Luna vamoosing before Molestia decided to take her frustrations out on her instead.
With the desperate pleas of her guests-turned-playthings ricocheting off the castle hallways, Molestia settled into her chair and gulped down the contents of their glasses. It would be silly to let it go to waste, after all.
Disappointed to have her session cut short, she turned her piercing lustful gaze toward… me.
Wait. Hold on. That’s not-
“Sh. Shh. Don’t say a word.”
Her eyes didn’t leave me. They could see me. All of a sudden she was on me, all over me. I could feel her breaths down my neck and her hooves pinning me to the floor. I couldn’t move.
“Don’t think I don’t see you out there. All of you. Hunched over your computers, dicks in hands. I thought I smelled something delicious! Oh no, don’t you worry, my admirers. I’m not mad. In fact, I’m impressed. Impressed you’re all so fascinated by my silly little antics! But I can’t have this stuffy narrator stealing the spotlight. Read the title. These are my adventures, are they not? It’s only fair I’m the one to tell you all about them!”
You can’t do this! These things have rules! Structure! I’m right in the middle of, ooh!
Molestia’s body bears down upon mine. Her tongue trails all the way up my neck; long, wet, stinking of her own sex. She paints my face in her sticky drool and then takes a hoof down to my- HEY! N-Not that hole! Anywhere but there!
“Oh, shut up.”