Lunch
You, the human, were within a strange tree-like shaped castle. Somehow, a tuxedo was put on you during your trip to this dimension. You were sitting on a wooden stool with a very comfy purple cushion. Although, the stool was quite short. You were surrounded by bookshelves here, packed to the brim with many books. You were in one of the many libraries spread out through this castle. The owner really loved books.
You stared with apprehension at the sheer mass of books presented to you. These books floated in midair before you, while wrapped in a strange glowing aura of deep pink. A cute little winged purple unicorn stood before you, who had comically large purple eyes. If you were to stand up, her head would reach just above your crotch. Her horn atop her head was glowing with the same glow as the books that floated in midair in front of you.
She smiled at you broadly. You felt butterflies flow through your stomach. She was ridiculously cute. You had a strong compulsion to pet her.
“I hope you like these books. They should help you understand the magical world you now live in,” came the enthusiastic voice of the friendly equine before you.
“Uh, Twilight. That’s a lot of books you hit me with. I dunno about reading all that.”
Twilight's ears drooped, and she uttered a sad whimpering sound, along with her lower lips starting to quiver. She looked at you with pleading puppy dog eyes. Those large purple eyes of hers stared into your very soul, into your small human eyes. You could hear your heartbeat loudly in your chest. You felt as if she was indoctrinating you with her cuteness. The poor little thing looked heartbroken. You were worried you were going to have a heart attack if you stared too long at this cute, sad pony.
You soon were tempted to give in to her demands; she was intoxicatingly cute. Just then, a familiar pegasus came dashing into the room. She flew around over your head in a circle at rapid speed, and she even did a few backflips just to show off.
“Twilight, don’t be so lame,” said the cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, before she landed before you and spread out her wings with a smug look on her face. “He clearly is not an egghead.”
You turned to Twilight to see her face was scrunched up, with her eyes narrowed to slits. Even when she was angry, she was cute. The mare groaned in annoyance. She then stormed off in a huff and took her magically held books with her.
“Rainbow Dash, I think you hurt her feelings.”
Rainbow snorted, waving her right foreleg nonchalantly. “Eh, she is fine. I’ll go talk to her later.”
“If you say so.”
Rainbow gently tapped you on the shoulder with her front right hoof. Her hoof didn’t feel rough at all. Contrary to what you would expect, her hoof felt rather soft. It was like a pillow. Ponies seemed to be cute cuddle machines here. “Come on, dude. I’ll treat you to lunch.”
Rainbow flapped her wings and took off the ground slightly. She now hovered about one foot in the air. It seemed she could move like a hovercraft as she made her way out of the library. She moved slowly, so you could keep pace with her. Her wings flapped slightly as she moved.
“Pretty cool, huh?” she asked, looking at you with a smug look on her face.
“Yeah, Rainbow. That's cool. Though that doesn't seem scientifically possible back home on Earth.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Dude, don’t get all egghead on me. You've been hanging around with Twilight too much.”
The two of you walked through a hallway, where you came across more bookshelves lining it on both sides. These shelves were packed to the brim with books. You could see the odd torch hanging on the walls of the hallway. Each of these torches was lit with a deep pink flame. In some areas, these torches were replaced with glowing jagged crystals of various colours on the walls. You saw these crystals nearly everywhere. Some of them produced a quiet humming sound as if they were electric. Others were completely silent. If you had a guess, they appeared to be a replacement for electricity here. You really need to ask Twilight on the matter some time.
The two of you soon came through a pair of large golden doors. Immediately, down at your feet, you were greeted by a short golden staircase leading onto a dirt road. You walked down the stairs, while Rainbow simply hovered over it.
In the distance, you could see a western mediaeval-like town up ahead. The buildings in general were thatched with hay and made of wood for the most part. The buildings looked pristine and clean. The streets were clean of filth, and the houses had nice gardens. There wasn’t a gong farmer insight. This wasn’t a total mediaeval shithole, despite the architecture. You were thankful the bathrooms (and were clean… most of the time anyway) existed in this world you found yourself in. Despite the fact, they were ponies; they didn't just do it in the street. They were civilised and intelligent like humans.
“Anon, are you okay?” came Rainbow’s voice, ripe with concern.
You blinked, taken out of your thoughts. You could see Rainbow hovering next to you, with her rosy red eyes looking at you with worry. “What? Oh, I was lost in thought.”
Rainbow shook her head. “Twilight must have done a real number on you, huh? Anyway, I know of a good place for some good food in Ponyville. Healthy too, not the trash they give you at Hayburger.”
“Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing your pony cuisine.”
“Ya want me to take you there quickly?”
“Hmm, sure. I guess that would be—Wait! Aaaahhhhhh!” as you spoke, Rainbow flew behind you and took hold of you, by wrapping her two front forelegs tightly around your waist, before she blasted off in the sky, carrying you high into the air while you screamed in terror.
Before you knew it, your trip was over. Rainbow gently placed you down on your feet. Your body shook in fear from the whole ordeal. Your legs felt wobbly. You would have fallen over if Rainbow Dash was not still holding you.
“Whoa dude, you okay? You seem terrified,” she said, patting you on the back with her front, right hoof.
“Rainbow, please, don’t ever do that again,” you said in a low voice.
“Okay, yeah. Sorry about that. I guess it takes some getting used to. I carry many of my earth pony friends like that when they need to get somewhere quickly.”
Rainbow pulled away and made to land on her four hooves next to you. She then walked over to a nearby table and sat down. She patted an empty ‘hay’ seat next to her on her left. She smiled at you broadly.
With that scary situation dealt with, you took in your new surroundings. You could see ponies sitting around circular wooden tables, with piles of hay for seats. They appeared to be mostly eating salads with flowers in it, grass, along with chunks of hay, and other things not fit for human consumption. You had a sense of dread that this place didn’t have any food for a human. Still, you would at least look at their menu.
Without a word, you sat down next to Rainbow. She handed you a menu. This menu had a series of pictures of flowers with words next to them, describing the contents of each item. This so-called menu seemed like a flower magazine to you. The flowers looked pretty, but you were here to eat. There were things like the daffodil sandwich, daisy sandwich, rose sandwich; etcetera flower sandwich. Some non-flower items were hay, even grass on the menu.
There were, of course, salads with normal food you could eat in them, like lettuce, tomatoes, olives, strawberries, blueberries, onions, carrots, avocados, spinach, and other such stuff. But unfortunately, they were ruined by flowers, hay, and other horse food thrown into them.
“Dude, are you okay?” came Rainbow’s voice. You looked away from the horse food menu to see Rainbow was looking at you with concern. Her ears were flicking from left to right.
“Uh, I really appreciate this. But I don't think there is anything on this menu fit for human consumption.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“There are flowers, grass, or hay in pretty much everything. I am worried even the bread might have some sort of toxic flower seed in it.”
“Oh, I see. Well, what do humans eat then?”
“We eat lots of things. Like vegetables, fruit, nuts, dairy products, and… err–”
“What?” she asked, tilting her head to the side curiously.
You leaned your head down. Rainbow turned her head to the side and leaned her head toward you, bringing her ear within a mere inch or so from touching your face. You quietly whispered “Meat.”
“Cool!” said Rainbow, pulling back to give you a smile.
“Wait! You’re not–” there came an odd flash, but you thought nothing of it.
“Shh! Keep your voice down,” she said quietly, shifting her eyes from side to side.
“Why?”
She leaned in close and whispered into your ear. “Meat is illegal in most places in Equestria. But I know a gal who knows a guy who sells meat.”
“Oh, who is it?”
“Not here. Go back to the Castle of Friendship. My contact will be waiting for you. Say nothing to nopony. Capiche?”
You simply nodded. Without a word, Rainbow Dash flew away, taking off into the sky. You made your way back to the castle. It appeared meat was like drugs here. You have not been here for very long, and already you were making connections to the criminal underworld.
When you made it back to the castle. You were greeted by none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle. “Hey, Anon. I heard you want meat,” she said, giving you a friendly wave with her right front foreleg.
You were shocked. It appeared somehow royalty was in on it. The corruption reached the very top of the government. “Twilight, you’re the contact?”
“Yep. I’m here to give you the meat, my human friend,” she said sweetly before her voice shifted into a sinister tone. “Now, if you tell anypony about this, I’ll make you into meat,” she said with her horn flashing with deep pink magic, ominously.
Just then, Pinkie Pie appeared next to you on your right, out of nowhere. “Hehe. And I’ll make you into cupcakes,” she said in her usual, bubbly voice.
You gulped before speaking in a low voice. “I promise never to tell anypony.”
Pinkie pulled a black pen knife out of thin air and presented it to you as she held it in her right hoof. “Slit your wrist, and swear it.”
“And suck my cock!” said Twilight, suddenly with a massive purple stallion cock between her legs. It was as if she grew a fifth leg.
You simply stared in horror at what you were seeing. You felt like running. You didn’t want to suck off a horse. But then… you heard Rainbow Dash’s voice shouting. “Discord! Leave him alone!”
“Oh, you’re no fun!” came a strange, deep voice.
Suddenly, you found yourself sitting back at the restaurant. Rainbow Dash was looking at you with concern. You could feel her soft hoof holding your right hand. It was cupped around it. It felt just like a woman’s hand. If not even better. The softness of her warm fur against your bare skin felt marvellous. You looked around for this ‘Discord’ only to see nopony nearby.
“What happened?” you finally asked.
“Discord. He played a mind trick on you and teleported away.”
“Who's Discord?” you asked.
Rainbow crossed her two front forelegs and snorted. “A mean jerk, that’s who. I don’t want to talk about him.”
“Oh, okay,” you simply said.
“Anyway, I can get you some meat at the local griffon market. We should be able to meet up with Twilight there. I need to say sorry to her for being a jerk.”
You quirked an eyebrow. “Twilight likes meat?”
“Yeah. She loves meat ever since she came back from that strange mirror portal thingy.”
You and Rainbow stood up and made to leave. You were glad you weren’t getting involved with the criminal underworld, which sold meat as the equivalent of drugs. You were also happy that Twilight Sparkle did not have a massive penis hidden.
At least, you hope she didn’t.