In Search of Answers She Didn't Know She Needed.
Sunlight peaked into the cluttered room through a gap in the dark curtains and illuminated the dust motes against the grey stone walls.
Various sacks filled with dried herbs and grain were pushed against the walls of the small storeroom to make room for the hammock hanging from the rafters. A simple desk and chair were in the corner by the door, books and pages of parchment piled high upon the surface of the small study space.
And with a sleepy groan, the occupant of the room awoke, a hoof rubbing the sleep from her eyes while the other gripped the side of the hammock as she swung her hind legs over the side.
With a soft clatter of hooves on the hardwood floor, the yellow furred unicorn, still in the awkward, lanky stage of between a foal and an adult mare, flicked her orange and yellow mane out of her face and began her morning routine.
There was a noticeable chill in the air, enough to quickly chase away the dregs of sleep and leave the young pony alert enough trudge out of her makeshift room.
The main room of the modest stone house had a basic cooking area that was a thousand years out of date in her mind, but still functional. It had a counter for preparing food, a woodfire oven mounted on the wall next to it, a metal icebox beside the counter, and a simple fire pit and grill in the corner.
The pony eyed the dried herbs and other plant matter hanging on strings attached to the rafters before the sound of the front door opening grabbed her attention.
“Ah, you’re awake. Good morning, Sunset.”
The pony that entered was a dark blue mare easily double Sunset’s height. She sported both the wings of a pegasus and the horn of a unicorn. Her powder blue mane and tail were tied up in buns to keep them out of the way and a pair of baskets laden with fresh fruit and berries attached to her sides.
Sunset moved to sit at the old, ornate round dining table, a plush cushion providing relief from the cold hard floor. The older mare walked inside and, with her horn glowing with a silver aura, removed the baskets strapped to her back and deposited them on the counter. A flick of her hoof and spark of magic caused the curtains, drawn shut over large windows, to spring open of their own accord, and sunlight bathed the room in its pale, early morning light.
“Hungry?” the alicorn asked and at turning back to see Sunset nod, summoned two slabs of bread and piled a generous helping of berries upon them. Sunset mumbled out a thanks as one piece was deposited in front of her as the dark furred pony took a seat opposite her.
As they ate, Sunset contemplated her time spent in the company of the lunar mare. It had been six months since she’d travelled to the furthest reaches of the continent, far beyond the borders of Equestria, to seek out the fabled Mare of the Moon.
At first, asking to learn ancient and long lost magics from the old god had been simple. Sunset had learned unicorn magic that had been forgotten, left in obscurity as spell casting and spell crafting changed over the centuries. But that wasn’t what she was here for.
“So…” Sunset spoke up and her mentor looked at her curiously. “When do I advance to learning alicorn magics? It’s just, you did promise you would teach me the secret behind alicorn magic, and I’ve done everything else you’ve asked.”
“True, you are a dedicated and hardworking student, Sunset,” the alicorn began. “And I am a mare of my word, you will learn one day, but--”
“That day is not today,” Sunset repeated. She’d heard that sentence countless times. She was quickly becoming irritable. She had jumped through countless hoops both with her and her previous mentor and her frustration at not being trusted was driving her up the wall. “Are you even going to teach me at all?”
She gestured at the large trunk lying beneath the bed shoved against the wall behind her. “What about the books you have stored in there? Surely you must have something?”
“Nothing that would interest you, my friend.”
Sunset huffed. “You’re just like Celestia, you’re never going to teach me, are you Luna?”
Luna looked at her, expression stern. “I am not like my sister.”
“But nopony knows what alicorn magic even is!” Sunset retorted. “It’s all guesswork and theory and the only ponies that know the answer are you and Celestia!” She met Luna’s warning glare with one of her own. “I’ve been taught by Celestia ever since I was little filly, I know exactly what it’s like to be brushed aside and ignored.”
Luna took a deep breath, exhaling through her nose. She looked much calmer as she spoke. “I am not disregarding your desire to learn, but alicorn magic is a different beast compared to even the most advanced unicorn magic, I need to be certain you are ready so I can teach you safely.”
“I am ready!” Sunset snapped. “I’ve been ready for months!”
She could tell, Luna had her reasons for not teaching her, for sticking to advanced spells even the greatest of unicorn mages would take years to master. Yet Sunset had grasped and learnt those ancient magics in a fraction of the time.
She was gifted, she was intelligent, and she would not be treated to the same distrust and unwillingness Celestia had put her through.
If Luna wouldn’t teach her, then she’d find the secret to alicorn magic by herself.
Starting with the old tomes locked away beneath Luna’s bed.
“Fine…” Sunset muttered and returned her focus to her meal of bread of berries. “Have it your way…”
“I assure you Sunset Shimmer, your patience will be rewarded.” Luna attempted to reassure her.
“Yeah, sure…”
The day had passed as uneventfully as the one before it, Sunset did as she was asked while scheming behind her mentor’s back. She knew Luna would leave to tend to her other, mysterious duties. That was when Sunset would have her chance to gain access to the books hidden away under the alicorn’s bed.
When the sun dipped low over the horizon, bathing the world in the orange glow of twilight, Luna left for her nightly duties as The Mare of the Moon. Sunset stood in the doorway, watching as Luna became a blue speck in the distance.
Once she was out of sight, Sunset stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Anticipation buzzed in her veins as she trotted over to the truck tucked under Luna’s bed.
She couldn’t help but be reminded of the last time she had gone behind her teacher’s back and read beyond her grade. That had been how she had been banished from Canterlot.
The memory of the fury in Celestia’s eyes only spurred Sunset forward. She would prove to both mares that she was worthy of becoming an alicorn, a princess! And then she would march back to the solar alicorn and be accepted with open wings once the inevitable shock of her skill had worn off.
She would prove herself to be better than that suck-up Cadenza and take her rightful place at Celestia’s side.
She pulled out the trunk with her magic, letting it rest at her hooves as she studied the runes engraved on the lid. The sheer power that rolled off the trunk was all the confirmation she needed that it held thousand-year-old secrets and magical knowledge.
If Luna wouldn’t teach her, she’d learn it herself.
She called upon her own magic, horn glowing teal, and sent small tendrils of her magic to carefully pick at the enchanted lock and wards.
It was painstakingly slow, the passage of time was marked with the lengthening of the shadows cast by the dying light of day, until finally…
As the first rays of moonlight trickled in through the windows, the trunk opened, old hinges creaking in protest.
A triumphant grin spread across her face as Sunset lifted out the first tome from the neatly arranged collection of books and scrolls. The book, like its companions, was a black hardcover tome with the lunar cycle emblazoned on the front cover in glowing silver runes.
She wasted no time and opened it, absentmindedly teleporting a candle from her room to hover beside her and lit it with a spell so she could read.
“January 3rd, 975th year since isolation,” She read aloud. “Another Griffon has wandered into the forest with the intent to hunt, as always, they are not much for conversation. But we struck a deal, in exchange for procuring me some fruit and grain, I would show them the trails often frequented by the wild boars in the area.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion, she put the book back where she found it and pulled out one of the scrolls, it unfurled in her magic.
“Recipe for Carrot Cake--” She stared at bewilderment at the parchment. “There has to be something here!”
Despite her frustration, she carefully put the scroll back where she found it and looked for any sign of a magical artefact or spell.
“Where is it?” She growled and her gaze landed on a small blue book tucked into the side. “Aha! Found it! She thinks she’s so clever. Now, let’s see what we have here…”
March 2 nd , 990 th year since isolation.
A filly has found her way into my forest. She has claimed to be student of my sister and wishes to learn the secret behind alicorn magic.
To be so young, yet so intelligent as to have discovered my location through old fairy tales and the recounts of long dead ponies is laudable indeed. Her future will be as bright as the sun with the proper tutelage,
How could I refuse?
And truth be told, in the safe confines of mine written word, I hope that one day Sunset Shimmer will see there is more to life than power or status, her disdain for my sister is clear enough that I worry.
What was her life before becoming Celestia’s protégé? Does this child not have any home, any kin to speak of?
A worrisome thing if she truly is alone in this world. Perhaps, while guiding her pursuit of the power she so craves, I can give her that which my sister assuredly did not.
It may take many phases before I achieve such a thing, but I will make this house into a home.
Wordlessly, she flipped the pages forward to a later entry.
Sunset's skill in the magical arts is remarkable. She shows drive and a level of skill I have not seen since I left Equestria in the care of my sister.
There is no doubt her power alone would make her a candidate for ascension. However, power alone does not an alicorn make.
Though she grows more and more frustrated with me each day I deny her what she sought, I have done everything I can to provide for her here within the Pine Needle Barrens. My sincerest hope is that with time, and the nurturing she needs, Sunset will flourish into a fine young mare that I can confidently share my secrets without worry.
But that is, it seems, a foolish wish. Perhaps I have been alone too long. An old god in the furthest reaches of the land that sees virtues that are no longer there.
Alicorns… I have never in all my years, had to put this into words, but we are forces of nature as much as we are people. The power we command changes you, your greatest qualities are reflected like a mirror before you.
But your flaws are that much more evident. In my need to be accepted for who I was in a world content to bask in my sister’s light, I chose to leave before my frustration, my despair, and my jealousy overwhelmed me.
I dread to think what I would have done had I stayed.
I truly do not wish to hurt anyone, nor do I wish to crush the dreams of my student, but I sense her anger, her frustration.
I can scarcely imagine what such a volatile cocktail of emotions would do unhindered and amplified by alicorn magic. I see far too much of myself in Sunset, I understand what she is going through, the rejection of growth, the dismissal of one’s own opinion and emotional state. I do what I can, but her pain runs deep and is not soothed by words nor by my attempts to include her in things outside of her studies.
Clinging to anger, to vengeance is often preferable to the alternative of drowning in one’s own sorrow and helplessness.
My sister is a fool to make the same mistake twice! I will see to it that this poor girl is given the proper care she needs. I have never been a parent, and I shall not make such a claim out loud, Sunset would likely lash out if I did, but I hope, to whatever old friends that remain, that I can save this child from herself.
I stand by what I thought when she first arrived here. Sunset Shimmer is in need of more than a teacher. She needs a home, one where she can feel loved and safe without a need to prove to anyone that is she is worthy of the most basic of care and attention.
“A… home?”
Sunset read the entry over again. Luna had put into words what she had been feeling. The drive to prove, to do anything for even the barest amount of respect or praise, the desire to be taken seriously as a mage, to be seen as more than the filly Celestia had taken pity on and cast aside the moment someone new showed up.
Her anger melted away as she resonated with the mare’s words. She felt a gradual sense of kinship with the alicorn after reading how Luna felt.
There was more to it, she was sure, some great event in the mare’s past that led her to where she was now. Sunset closed the book and put it back in its corner of the trunk and looked for the oldest of the journals.
She found it. An old leather tome, the thick pages bulging from the number of times the book had been opened and used.
Sunset pried the book open, mindful of its age, as curiosity took up the forefront of her thoughts.
She had to know.
As soon as Luna stepped past the threshold into her home, she knew something was wrong. Nothing dangerous or life threatening, but the air held the weight of regret and pain.
A feeling she knew all too well.
There was no sign of her student in the main room of her humble abode, and at first glance everything was as she left it hours prior.
But the alicorn could sense the leftover particles of magic that danced unseen like motes of dust in the darkness. She followed the trail and looked down at the barely used bed and the trunk that lay beneath it.
The aged trunk, as timeless as its owner, was steeped in Sunset’s magic. Disappointment and dread coiled in her gut as Luna turned around and walked over to the storage room that served as makeshift quarters for her gifted pupil.
In seconds she warred with herself, what was she to do with the girl now? Would Sunset leave now that she knew the truth, that Luna wished to take in the filly as her own.
Luna knew the child had trust issues. It was obvious with how she had gone from being Celestia’s star pupil to training with an old hermit like herself.
In the beginning, Luna had wanted to capture Sunset’s attention with unicorn magic, she had such a low opinion of the power native to her own kind that the mare couldn’t help but try and teach her to respect the power she was born with. Luna had tried to hold off teaching her alicorn magic until she was more settled and Luna was certain she was emotionally mature enough to handle the responsibility.
And as the alicorn stood outside the door to her student’s room, she braced herself, half expecting the room to be empty, and opened the door.
“Sunset?” she asked gently as she poked her head into the room.
Sunset was lying in her hammock, staring at the ceiling. The unicorn sat up to properly look at Luna as she entered the room fully.
“Care to explain to me what you’ve been up to, young filly?” the alicorn said. “I detected traces of your magic all over my trunk.”
Sunset’s ears folded back against her head as she winced. “I was getting frustrated with my magic lessons and thought maybe you had some ancient spell books hidden away in there… Instead, I found your journals and read some of them.”
“And?” Luna said calmly with a raised brow. “I am not ashamed of my inner thoughts, though I prefer my privacy. If you have taken offense with my musings, then you are free to return to my sister.”
“No!” Sunset exclaimed. She didn’t want to leave. Luna remained calm despite the admission, the girl had made a mistake and invaded Luna’s privacy, but it was not something to blow out of proportion. Her calm demeanour was so unexpected to Sunset that the young unicorn was confused.
“You’re not... mad at me?”
“Will you invade my privacy in the future?” Luna asked in return and when Sunset quickly shook her head, the alicorn relaxed. “Then no, I am not angry, merely disappointed that you thought so little of me and my hospitality. But that is on me for believing you were above such misconduct.”
The dark mare peered down at her, aloofness giving way to a stern look and the filly wilted under her gaze. “Though you will be appropriately punished for your actions, I will not cast you out, nor abandon you. This is something you should learn from to be better in the future.”
“I can… I can stay?” Sunset asked hesitantly, hopefully and Luna stared at her.
“Did you think I would throw you to the wolves? As I said when you first found my home, you are welcome to stay for as long as you need to.”
“I-I don’t know what to say,” Sunset choked out, teary-eyed. “I thought for sure you would throw me out, like Celestia did…”
Now Luna had to wonder just what did her sister do to this child to make her think that. “As I said this morning, I am not like my sister, and I care not what you did to offend her. That is between you and her.”
Luna turned to leave and glanced back at the unicorn. “As for learning alicorn magic, you presumed that I wouldn’t teach you, but the truth is I was trying to teach you the basics.”
“R-really?”
Luna nodded. “Alicorn magic is but a reflection of one’s true self, magic born of an unwavering ideal or an embodiment of a natural force. In learning unicorn magic I had hoped your resolve would lead you to strive for a better understanding of yourself and the world around you.”
“But,” Luna interrupted before Sunset could get a word in. “My inexperience as a teacher and caregiver has meant I have not seen to your needs as well as I could have. In efforts to prevent your power from harming you in the future, I neglected your emotional needs.”
“We can work on it,” Sunset suggested weakly and stared at the bottom of the hammock. “I haven’t been putting my best foot forward either, have I?”
“…No,” Luna admitted. “But we can discuss who is at fault and what-ifs until daybreak and that will get us nowhere. We shall indeed work on our communication skills and teamwork in the near future… But I believe we should both get some rest and return to the issue with clearer minds come the morrow.”
“Alright, thanks.” Sunset replied as Luna exited the room.
“Sleep well child, know that no nightmares shall plague you while under my roof.”
It was an old platitude, one meant for close friends and trusted confidants, but Luna felt that it fit equally well here. As Luna closed the door and retreated to her own bed to wait out the hours until dawn, she doubted Sunset knew the importance of those words.
Luna never had the courage to get close to others in the same way Celestia did, Luna’s boons were given sparingly, her love for her subjects instead shown in the tapestry of stars and the stories they told.
But she would try, for the sake of her young, yet bright star of a student.