Burn after writing.
Forgotten
By Brony-Sibling
(No-pony will ever read this. I will burn it to dust. But I need… I need to say this… even if no-pony will ever know… )
“She left me behind again… “
How often have I said those words? How often have I been left behind, ignored, or just… plain…
forgotten….
“I’m her number one assistant! I can never be forgotten! She would never replace me! She would always include me! She is my… sister… I know… she would never leave me… Intentionally… She will always be there… Always…”
(I say this, hoping that it’s not a lie…)
* Sigh* This is my battle. My constant inner war and my greatest fear. To have all those I love forget me….
To be alone.
I tell myself almost constantly that, “It’s just my stupid imagination, they haven’t forgotten me, I still have value, I still have worth, I still am remembered….” But my mind disagrees with my emotions.
They don’t remember me.
I was remembered, and even included once. It was amazing! To even share the spotlight a little bit, to share the love, with the warmth of my friends and family all around me! It was paradise.
It happened during the running of the leaves… Pinkie Pie saw me when I had been forgotten and gave me that gift. That precious gift…
The gift of love.
Afterall… That IS what love is. It’s to remember somepony, to share your time, the beats of your heart, no, the very seconds of your life with someone. It’s a gift that will never be rivaled in its generosity and its precious nature. For material items fade, decay, rust, and burn and even the strongest mountain will eventually crumble. But it is love, that gift of time, that will stay forever in our immortal souls.
That short but glorious gift that Pinkie gave me was probably an afterthought. It was probably on accident that she even saw me. But it didn’t matter. I was again being left out during the running of the leaves. Rainbow and Applejack were having their “competition/fight” and Twilight was too obsessed with testing out her studies on the book about the "The Theory Behind Marathons”. But Pinkie… She asked me to help announce it! She included me! Me!
That. That is what I want. To be involved, no matter how trivial the action or job. I want to be THERE.
Even if only in the background.
But, as wondrous as that gift from Pinkie was….Well… It wasn’t going to be a common occurrence. For while Pinkie is amazing, and just her existence seems to make ponies smile… even Pinkie can’t be everywhere.
But I will forever treasure that moment.
There were some other moments in which I was included, even as part of the main group! Those… those moments were glorious. It is moments like those which keep me going. Hoping to again… belong.
One time… I tried to belong somewhere else. I tried to run away. I ran to the dragons. And… it didn’t end well. But for a moment, I thought I was missed! Every-pony came galloping after me to save me! To convince me to come back… home.
When I finally did, it was great!
...For a while anyways. But then they eventually stopping including me by accident, and soon I was again forgotten.
I tell myself that, “These are mares. Mares much older than me with their own friends and lives. I understand, it would be hard to include me in their adventures. I mean… why would the vaunted elements of harmony need a “baby” dragon when fighting Discord, Nightmare Moon, and all the other enemies of Equestria?”
“So… I’ll go and make my own friends instead!” (I told myself)
Well. No luck there either. The fillies of this town already have their friend groups formed, and while the Cutie Mark Crusades are nice, they don’t really need a dragon as part of their gang…. (I mean… dragons don’t even GET Cutie marks! So… it’s kinda ridiculous… how would a dragon help someone find their cutie mark? Right?...)
The few colts there are in this town either are too busy with their own adventures or are a bit too… Well. “Snips and Snails”-y for me. Besides… I’m just… too different…
I don’t have a cutie mark, and can’t get one. I walk on two legs… I mean… who even does that!? I have scales instead of a mane…. And I don’t even go to school! I just re-shelve the library. The combination of isolation and being different honestly doesn’t lend itself to making friends in school…
Also, there is the idea of me just being a “baby” dragon. That since I’m so young, that I should have plenty of “naps” and stay home at the library. Well, even if I am young, I want to be included!
This scares me. For while I may be young now, I will grow old. I will grow strong. I will be as the mighty oak, strong, everlasting, withstanding the march of time. And time like my friends will forever pass onward… leaving me alone with nothing but dust and memories...
I AM dragon, and a “baby” one at that! I will live to be hundreds, maybe thousands of years old! I will live so long that a hundred years will seem like the setting of Celestia’s sun.
And… I will watch them grow old and die. I will be alone. I will not only be forgotten, but lost with no chance of remembrance... For they will be gone...
So while I have time, while they are still here... even if I am forgotten, I will always treasure each moment, and etch these precious gifts of time into my soul.
When I am truly alone… then I will remember each gift, and comfort myself with the time that has forever passed by.
(Well… I guess that’s about it… I still love them all. I will try and be a part of their lives no matter how insignificant my part will be. Eventually I might even be a regular part of their group! Or I could make my own friends! But… I needed to say this… )
(Alright. I’m going to burn this now.)
(Thanks for listening to me… Mr. Parchment. You really are a great listener. Well… after I destroy this I think I’ll offer my gift to my friends. The gift of my time and love. Wish me luck!)
Sincerely,
-Spike