An earth pony mare from Manehattan moves in with a young man on Earth following the unification of their worlds. Their lives and relationship, both together and at times apart, are explored.
Lettuce “Letty” Leaf is an earth pony mare from Manehattan who has successfully registered to be one of the first ponies to live on Earth as part of the Equestrian Placement and Initiation Program (EPIP) formed by the governments of Equestria and the countries on planet Earth.
Dave Becker is a 30-year-old freelance video editor in Batavia, IL whose mother helps him successfully apply to sponsor Letty and provide her with a home at his newly purchased apartment, hoping to take advantage of the financial incentives that come with it.
Upon her moving in, Dave does his best to make Letty feel at home as Letty begins starting her life on Earth. As they each navigate their new lives and unique situation together and on their own, a friendship quickly blossoms.
Link to art of pony, with some obvious touch-ups done by me in Adobe After Effects.
I sit with my legs trembling as my eyes lock on to the second hand on the clock above the doorway as it makes another rotation every minute without fail. As it passes the 12 at the top of the face, the shivering makes its way to my stomach as I see that the minute hand is right above the 11 and the hour hand is about to point straight up in just five minutes time.
Then, my name will be called, I’ll go through my final briefing and wellness check, and I’ll finally be off to planet Earth! I almost want to cry, perhaps not as much as Mom is probably going to. She sits on my left as Dad sits to hers. As much as I want them both beside me, I can at least keep my bag with all my papers there in the meantime.
I know they’re both dreading this in their own ways, and in a sense, I do to; well, at least the same as Mom. For the first summer since before I was born, she’s going to be harvesting our garden with only Dad to help her, and I know Dad partially resents me for it. Not for me leaving him alone with her, of course, but for me to leave my world, my home that I’ve known all my life, for a place “infested” with these humans he’s read so much about.
I’ve read plenty about them too, which is why I am so excited about going there.
In my final reflections, I barely notice the door open as a smartly-dressed aide pops out halfway out. “Leaf? Lettuce Leaf?”
I nearly shriek as I sling my bag over my neck and land on my hooves in a single, joyous motion. Mom’s waterworks are already going, and I suddenly feel terrible about feeling so happy. Though I know deep down, she is too.
“Don’t forget to write to us!” She hugs me with all the might her right foreleg can muster as she presses the bottom of her chin on the back of my mane.
“You know I won’t!” My grip is just as tight on her. I can’t believe I suddenly feel an urge to call the whole thing off!
Dad, out of respect, stands by Mom until I finally let him have the last hug he’ll have from me in who-knows-how-long. “Don’t let them change you.”
“You won’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll be just fine!” The realization hits him too, and he slips his arm across the base of my neck.
Mom throws herself onto me, desperate for one more. “We’re going to miss you so much, Letty!”
“I’m going to miss you so much too!” Darn it, Mom, now my tears are going! “I love you both so much!”
“We love you too,” Dad sighs; is he finally okay with it now that it’s all said and done?
I feel my mom nodding as her mane brushes my back. I don’t want to keep my sponsor waiting any longer, and I pull away from them just quick enough before my doubts turn to a change of heart.
“Bye, guys!” I walk backward toward the doorway and wave them off, realizing I have only seconds left to see them. “Love you!”
Mom presses her face into Dad’s neck, and as he holds her in the most modest show of comfort that my Dad can possibly provide, I feel that it’s time to turn around and look ahead, the aide leading me through the door and into a long hallway with many doors on either side.
Once the door closes, she feels alone enough to speak privately. “Congratulations, Ms. Leaf. I’m sure you must be over the moon to have an opportunity such as this.”
“Mmhm!” I’m still not quite over the ever-growing distance between my parents. “How much more time until we go?”
“Before we send you off, we just need to get you some final things, a couple of last signatures, and you’ll be all set!”
“Excellent! Thank you so much for your help.”
“Don’t thank me! I’m just taking you to an office.”
“Still, I wouldn’t know where to go without your help!”
She nods, beginning to look to the next door on the right. “Okay, and you’ll be in here.”
Charging her horn, she pulls the door out for me to enter, and as I step in, I instantly freeze to see a human in a plain black suit behind a sparsely-decorated desk. I haven’t even set hoof on Earth yet and I’m already getting to meet my first human face to face!
“Mrs.… Leaf was it?” He checks his notes to be sure.
“Have fun, you two!” The aide steps back and closes the door to leave us be.
I nod, acknowledging his question. “Yes. And please, you can call me Letty.”
“Letty.” He gets up out of his office chair and walks around to allow me to shake his hand.
His smile is pleasant and sincere; already a good sign for what’s to come.
“Alright, Letty.” He gets back to his desk. “I just need to see your birth certificate and your photo ID.”
With even-more vigorous nods, I reach into my bag and slip both forms out from the front of a folder where I keep everything else I’ve determined was the most important for me to bring that I was allowed to. Glancing between the two originals and the photocopies made before my acceptance, he confidently nods as everything seems to be in order as expected.
“Thank you.” He slides my things back and I place them in the same spot in my bag. “Now, let’s go over some final things, first and foremost, your sponsor during your residency on Earth.”
From one manilla envelope atop a short stack of others, he pushes it my way and opens it for me, showing me a picture of another human male that appears a bit younger than the one across from me. His skin has the same mild tan as well, and his hair appears to be super short along the sides while the top part is much longer and styled-up. Interesting.
Paperclipped beneath the pictures are photos of an adorable-looking city whose downtown divided by a small river and a plethora of shops and eateries that I’m no doubt going to need to patronize while I’m there.
“Your sponsor is David Becker. He lives in Batavia, Illinois in the United States of America. Lucky you.” His voice apparently means it, but his smile begins to fade. “Your new home address will be printed on your new ID that I’ll provide you in just a moment.” He takes the next folder off the pile and flips it open before setting it down. “As I’m sure you’ve been informed, you will have dual-citizenship while living with your sponsor and possess the same rights as every other citizen. Inside this folder you will find your very own social security card, pamphlets regarding your new government-issued health insurance.”
His spiel rolls on, and I know exactly what I’m signing for, but he still has David’s folder open with some of his hometown’s pictures still visible. It looks like they have a street that they close down for…
Is that a farmer’s market?!
I’ll sign anything at this point! Celestia, just take me there now!
I don’t know how much more I can take of this. Months of grueling paperwork, online forms, and interview after uncomfortable interview should have no right to end this excruciatingly. I just want to get it over with, or at least be able to play on my phone while I wait to get it over with.
I know, I know, government red tape, the usual.
Truth be told, I’m looking very much forward to meeting my new “roommate.” At least, that’s what Mom likes to think of them. Is he a boy? Is she a girl? The fact that I don’t know yet and I’m meeting them today; what a shitshow.
I hear a hand grip the door handle outside the office, the loud, quick clunk that follows immediately after giving me a jolt. The door comes open, and our agent has finally returned. Hopefully with some useful information.
“Sorry for the wait.” The agent’s office is already cramped as it is, making his more rotund physique all the more comical.
No, I shouldn’t think that. I was nearly that fat once upon a time; I’m sure he’s trying hard to lose it; probably has a more efficient method than I used.
“We just wanted to check you in at the Equestria compound,” he explains in a chortle. “Sounds like your new guest has been waiting just as eagerly and early as you two!”
Mom beside me chuckles to humor him. She raises her hand to nudge me to go along, but she puts it back down. Thank you, Mom.
He seems content with having gotten Mom to laugh, so he continues. “I don’t know what you were expecting in terms of your new guest, but we have her information right here.”
He slides the folder to us, and Mom motions to pick it up, but to be fair, she’ll be my roommate, so I get first dibs. Snatching the folder off the table, I look through her file.
Christ, even her name is silly. Lettuce Leaf. Please let her be open to a nickname, or, even better, already have one. She’s an earth pony. As much as I want to complain about not getting to host a pegasus or a unicorn, the fact I’m here and going to be living with the pony in this picture should already be a blessing enough.
And holy shit, Manehattan? Mane-fucking-hattan? Either way, I’ve got more pressing matters to ask about.
“Something troubling you?” I look up to the agent with his eyes frozen right on me. Damn, am I really that obvious?
“Are there any dietary concerns I should be aware of for… Lettuce? Or am I supposed to, like, say the whole name, Lettuce Leaf? Anyway, I mean, I already stocked my fridges for her.”
“Ms. Leaf did not state any abnormal dietary restrictions in her evaluation, but, as I’m sure you read in the documents we provided a few weeks ago, these ponies’ regular diets are still far from normal compared to horses and ponies on our world, so just stick to that list of foods and Ms. Leaf will be living the high life!”
I nod.
“Before I get any farther into your final briefing, I just wanted to ask how you feel about the arrival ceremony that’s been planned for Ms. Leaf.”
“Yeah? What about it?”
“It says in your medical history that you’re high-functioning autistic. There’s going to be a lot of cameras and media there, so I just don’t know how comfort–”
“I’ll be fine, as long as I’m not getting swarmed by microphones and reporters shouting in my face, that is.”
He pauses. “Would you like to prepare some written statements and answers before then?”
I raise my eyes and frown as wide as I can without being offensively rude; I guess that settles that. “Can I borrow a pen?”
With a single accepting nod, he leans to the side to open his desk drawer before pulling out a list of media-approved questions. As he slides the paper toward me, he also grabs a pen from small metal basket and places it on the paper.
I immediately press my thumb against the button and begin writing my answers. “And if I do this, that means that the press won’t touch me right?”
The agent glances off to the side, knowing that a 100% “no” would be a lie. “There may be one or two reporters who may want a follow-up question.”
My mother finally puts her hand on my arm, and it tenses up a bit as I try to put my mind on the track of finishing this hopefully last form. “It’ll be good practice for when you have to start talking to Lettuce.”
Now I have to stop and turn my whole head to look at her. “Are you suggesting that our conversations are going to her getting in my face and shouting rapid-fire questions at me?” Mom is about to speak, but I’m not letting her this time. “Because if that’s the case, I may have to opt out of this now.”
“Dave, you know you can’t just quit now–”
“I know!” I’m careful not to shout, or, what Mom likes to call “shouting.” “Listen, I’m already on edge trying to finalize all this, and I’m sure Lettuce or Lettuce Leaf or whatever is going to be super cool, but the less people rushing into my personal space, the better, okay?”
I put my head back down and continue finishing out this damn paper. Mom is the first to break the silence. “Yeah, that’s okay. That’s okay?” she says back to the agent.
“I’ll be sure to inform the press not to bother him.”
“Thank you.”
“Thanks!” I didn’t mean to sound curt nor speak over Mom. I just really want to get home now.
My new life is right through the other side of that mirror.
I wonder how Dave will feel to meet me! I was told that he doesn’t like others getting too close into his personal space, but I mean, he must still be somewhat excited, right? Why would he sign up for this otherwise? And really, all I’d want to do is give him a hug, nothing too crazy.
Either way, I’m sure he’ll be great.
I was informed the press would be there. No big deal. I don’t mind answering a few questions. I mean, it’s not every day a pony from another world sets foot on another world, right?
Definitely exciting times for everyone.
I have everything that agent gave to me before stepping in here in my bag, and all I really need to do now is to let them know I’m ready so they can activate the portal.
So why am I not ready?
Maybe Dave isn’t all that excited to see me. Maybe he wants as little to do with me as possible. What if there was some truth to what Dad’s been saying about them this whole time? Why do I have to have these thoughts now when I’m just outside the door!
“Ms. Leaf.” The voice from the speaker on the ceiling is loud and echoey. Doesn’t exactly calm my nerves, but at least I can’t remember what I was just about to say. “Is something wrong?”
No, nothing’s wrong. It is just nerves. Dave wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to see me, and I wouldn’t even be allowed to step over if he wasn’t on the other side. No, I’ve kept us waiting for long enough.
A moment of silence allows me to brace myself for the next announcement from above me. “Please activate the portal now.”
Two unicorns in labcoats charge their horns and exert two strong beams into the base of the mirror’s platform. I continue looking forward, and though I can see myself standing in the reflection, I can’t help but notice that it’s starting to wobble a bit, like the surface is made of a thick liquid. Soon, my reflection distorts away, replaced by a shimmering display of swirling and soaring lights. All I need to wait for now is an approval to go on ahead, and I’m at the tips of my hooves right now.
“Ms. Leaf,” the ceiling goes, “connection to Chicago has been established and the portal is stable. Please enjoy your stay on Earth.”
I push off the edges of my hooves and begin to walk. I honestly don’t know what to expect on the other side and how much like Equestria it will all look like, but that’s why I’m here at all; to find out.
I step onto the platform, my parents, home, and everyone and everything else I’ve known about to become millions, no, billions… no, trillions of miles away in an instant. I wanted to be brave but…
I close my eyes as the intense tingle of the portal hit my nose as the rest of my face presses through. I keep them shut even as the noise of my surroundings completely changes. There’s cameras flashing shining past my eyelids, and the accompanying clicks fill my ears. My eyes continue to remain closed until I stop feeling the subtle tug on my tail hairs as the rest of them make it through the portal.
Now that I know I’m in, my eyes finally open.
I gasp upon seeing Dave there, in the flesh, looking at me with a sense of… wonder? He’s… actually excited to see me? I can’t help but feel a smile begin to curl on my face, and the fact it took only that long to feel one is making me smile even wider. I take two steps of a trot toward him, but then remember what they told me about him, and I slow my pace down to my usual walk.
Dave takes a step toward me this time, but it almost look like he was nudged on by his… oh my, his mom came with? How sweet!
He stares at me as we both approach each other in the middle. He looks a little annoyed; it is pretty noisy and crowded in here. They really should have done this outside, or at least in a bigger room.
Once we’re within reaching-distance of each other, he kneels down to me and– oh wow, even in that position, I’m only a couple of inches taller. Amazing!
I throw my hoof at him and he shifts back. Oops, may have overdid it. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little excited to be meeting my first human!”
I keep my hoof out, hoping he gets the gesture, and thank goodness he does. He puts wraps his hand and fingers around my hoof and he gives it a gentle shake. I appreciate him not being rough, but I’m still a pony, even if I am a mare.
“The feeling’s mutual,” he statically says back, his hand still holding my arm.
Witty, good. I laugh comfortably; this is going a lot better than I thought! My smile awkwardly lingers as is fingertips begin rubbing at the fur they’re laid upon. Don’t get me wrong, I’m perfectly alright allowing him the opportunity to feel me like this; it’s not like I’ve made contact with a human before. Suddenly, his hand yanks itself free from my hoof, and I pull it back, startled by the sudden motion.
He runs his fingers through his hair and glances around, looking a bit embarrassed. “Sorry, never shook ha– hooves with a… pony before.”
He lets out an apologetic chuckle that I quickly find very endearing. “Don’t worry. The feeling’s mutual.”
Another giggle, this one more celebratory and assured than the last. I think I’m going to like him.
“I’m Dave, by the way.”
“Hello Dave. I’m Lettuce Leaf, but please call me Letty.”
With a quiet gasp and a grin, he appears to like my nickname quite a lot. No, I know I’m going to like him!
I soon begin to hear my name getting called from all around me, and Dave seems to take this as his cue to stand up and walk back over to his mother. Before the press can surround me to get me to answer their numerous questions, I catch a glimpse of his mom putting her arm around him and him leaning into her.
Don’t worry, Dave. Just let me get this over with and we can get right home.
I mean, of course I’m going to get around to talking with her, but I’ve never been great at starting conversations, or even conversations that evolve past simple small talk.
And what the hell do I even say to her?
“So!” My mother, God bless her, starts the conversation for me. “Please, tell me what it’s like in your world. Is it nice?”
“Oh very much so!” I glance over to the talking horse sitting beside me and see her looking forward at the back of my mom’s head, not paying me any attention. What I great choice I was for this program. “I caught a glimpse of the skyline as we were leaving. That’s Chicago?”
“Mmhm! I used to work down there a lifetime and a half ago, but Dave knows Chicago like he’s lived there his entire life.”
There she goes, exaggerating my knowledge and abilities… again. “I worked there for a few years.”
“Really?” Letty turns her sights to me; give it to Mom, she knows how get the ball rolling. “What kind of work?”
“I did video editing and motion graphics for an advertising company downtown.”
Mom points her finger at us, injecting herself back in. “And you did a lot of social media videos and sizzle reels for–”
“Mom, she’s not going to know what that is!”
Shit.
“Then you can explain it to her, Dave. That’s how conversations work.”
“What do you do now?” Letty thankfully asks. “It sounds like you don’t do that kind of work anymore.”
I shrug and relax. “I still do; but I’m doing it on my own now.”
“So, like a freelancer.”
“Yeah, exactly. I mean, I’m mostly doing odd jobs and projects for friends and family mostly, but I’m… compensated fairly.”
“That’s awesome, Dave! Is that something you like doing?”
I always hate simple questions that demand more complex answers. “When the work is good, yeah, it’s actually a lot of fun. And pardon me, I don’t mean to sound rude, but you do know what I mean by video editing and motion graphics, right?”
Letty glances away and straightens her hair– no, mane. Damn. “…Not exactly, but hey! Maybe you can show me a little when we get to your place!”
No, please. It’s not that impressive. I promise you.
“Why don’t you show her some of the trailers you did in college?” They’re not that impressive either. Please don’t make me embarrass myself.
“Trailers? Like movie trailers?”
I can’t help but feel a tremendous weight has been lifted off every side of my mind. “Wait, you have movies in your world?”
“Sure do! I mean, I hardly ever see them, being so busy tending to our family garden and all, but I’ve been to enough movies to know what they are, yes.”
I gently nod my head; perhaps this won’t be too bad after all. “Well, I’m a very big movie guy, and I’ve been making an effort recently to catch up on a lot of films I haven’t seen before. Maybe… you’d like to join me for some?”
Jesus, why did I have to make it sound like I was asking her out on a date?!
“Sure! I mean, I still kind of need to get moved in still, but yeah, definitely soon!”
I’ve always been told I’m not much of a smiler, but I can feel a real one coming on. “Yeah. I’ll be sure to think of some good ones. I certainly don’t want your first Earth film to be a dud, right?”
“It’s a date, Dave!”
Haha, fuck.
“Look at you!” Mom pipes in. “Not even at the house yet and you’re already like peas in a pod!”
You’re not helping!
“I’m enjoying your company too, Ms. Becker!”
“Please,” she coughs through her charmed giggles, “call me Nancy.”
“Do you have any other family, Dave?”
“Yeah, a sister. Dad would’ve come, but he had calls today.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to meeting them both, but to be perfectly honest, I just want to focus on getting moved and settled in if that’s alright.”
I look out the window as the orange sunset-lit skies begin to turn a twilighty blue and purple. “You and me both.”
“Is everything okay, Dave?”
“Fine. I’m just a little tired. And there’s still the rest of the day to go.”
I never knew what to expect coming into Dave’s home for the first time. I know from the program that any human host’s finances needed to be good enough to even be a host in the first place. Still, I wasn’t sure how everything would look. Manehattan may be one of the nicest cities in Equestria, but I’ve been to plenty of otherwise good apartments and condos that were ruined by their tenants’ seeming refusal to wash a dish or throw trash away.
Thankfully, Dave doesn’t seem to be one of those creatures.
It almost looks like the place was cleaned top to bottom before my arrival. I most certainly don’t mind helping around and doing my part, but I hope that this wasn’t a rare occurrence just to impress me. The place is pretty cozy already, so it probably won’t take much to mess it all up again.
Still, Nancy and Dave promised that we were in a really good location surrounded by a bunch of cute shops and restaurants. Supposedly, there’s a grocery store within walking distance.
That’ll definitely be nice.
David lets me pass as he puts his hand on a doorknob. “Your room’s here.”
There’s a slight hesitation in his voice; does he think that I’m not going to like it? Fair enough, I suppose. I’ve been fussing over his imaginary lack of cleanliness for a bit.
He turns the knob and pushes the door har enough to let it swing open and come to a stop before hitting the wall.
I don’t believe it.
I was expecting a bed and maybe a bookshelf at the most and then shopping around for other furniture later in the week, but Dave and Nancy appear to have taken care of all of that for me.
Along with a pristinely-made double-sized bed and a bookshelf off in the corner, they also set up a small desk and dresser for me as well. The desk has both my EPIP-issued laptop and mobile phone on it and charging. They also looked to have hooked some speakers to the computer and provided a mesh cup full of pens, pencils, and a pair of scissors.
They really outdid themselves for me.
“Do you like it?” Hearing Dave’s voice again, I can’t help but notice I’ve already stepped into the middle of the room.
Turning around, he looks to decompress a bit upon me seeing what I can feel is a genuinely thankful smile on my face. “Yes, Dave, this is wonderful! I wasn’t expecting you to furbish my room too!”
“I mean, to be fair, I… figured you’d much rather focus on getting settled in than having to put your room all together.”
“No, that’s very thoughtful. Thank you, Dave.”
“And let’s not forget who helped purchase some of that!” Nancy pipes in as she leans into sight from the other side of the doorframe.
“Yes, and thank you too, Nancy. I’ll get myself registered right away!”
“Are you sure? Are you hungry at all, Letty?”
Come to think of it, it was starting to get late. “I could eat. What’s the plan, then?”
David shrugs, putting my attention on him. “I mean, the fridge and pantry downstairs is stocked, but if you want to sample some of what Batavia has to offer…”
“Dave,” Nancy speaks, “she just got here. Maybe wait until the weekend to take her out.”
He nods slightly before turning away to leave. “I guess I can get dinner started. How long do you need?”
I whip my head around to look at my new devices that I would soon use. “I’m… hoping no more than an hour?”
“Okay. I don’t think the pasta should take that long. Do you need me to get you something to drink? Water, juice… soda?”
“I should be fine for now. If I get done earlier, I’ll come down and have a drink with both of you.”
Dave smirks; clearly the idea of a social drink tickles him. “No problem. Feel free to holler if you change your mind. Come on, Mom, let’s give her a little room.”
Both Dave and Nancy shift out of the room and presumably toward the kitchen.
Now alone in my very own room on planet Earth, I feel even more invigorated to get myself set up so I can enjoy the pleasures of this place just as its people do. Pulling the quaint office chair from under the desk out, I climb up into it and pull myself in. Just as I’m about to turn it on for the first time, I realize that neither my Hoofpads or Phone Sleeve are on my desk. As much as I would like to not have to get out and get back in this chair just to bother–
“Sorry!” David slides into view on his socks. “I put your hoof keyboard thing and the gloves in the bottom drawer. Didn’t want to clutter your desk up too bad. Sorry.”
Oh Dave, you’re a lifesaver. “Don’t apologize, thank you! Now I can get started!”
“You… don’t need help getting that stuff plugged in or anything, do you?”
“I shouldn’t. It should just work once I plug it in. I should be good from here. Thanks again!”
“No… problem.” As I pull open the bottom drawer and find my Hoodpads and sleeve there right where he said they’d be, I hear him knocking on my doorframe; perhaps he still wants to talk. “I’ll… see you at dinner. It shouldn’t be more than an hour.”
“Sounds great!” As I put the plug of my Hoofpads into the port on the side, I hear Dave slink back away toward the kitchen. “Now, let’s see if these work alright…”
With a holding down on the small square button in the upper right corner, the lights of the screen come on before a display asks me for my login information. Thankfully, all of it was easy enough to remember in the guy’s office before coming here. Slipping my hooves into the pads, the rubber cuffs fitting snugly around them, I move the right pad over to the text box in the center, the mouse cursor following its movements. With a light jerk to the left with my right hoof, I click the box to as a small line flashes on the boxes left, prompting me to type.
Considering how important EPIP made using a computer seem, I made sure to master these devices to better my chances of being accepted into their program. With a flat press of the left hoof, a digital display of letters around the outside of the pad all become capital. With a flick down with the same hoof, I successfully type in a capital M. With a flick down of my right hoof, the letters turn into a series of numbers and other special characters.
Looks like this works well.
I get to typing the rest of my provided username and password in seconds flat as I had trained to. Come to think of it, these work a lot better than the ones they taught me on back at the EPIP facility. I guess that’s what happens when you’re using new devices.
I really am getting hungry, though. That being said, I can wait until dinner. I’d much prefer getting this finished before then so I have the rest of the night to spend with my host.
