There was a boy named Charlie Brown, now, there is a colt named Charlie Brown. The same gods that removed Charlie's luck decided to give him mercy by sending him to Equestia. Can Charlie turn his life around to a more lucky and happy existence? Or is he destined to be a Blockhead?
Today was the day. Charlie could almost feel the absurd amount of luck in the air. Quickly tightening his grip on his red kite, Charlie set off into the park that had claimed every single kite he had ever owned. But not today. The green grass, the blue cloudless sky, the sun, everything just said 'Come on Charlie Brown, today is the day!' And Charlie wasn't going to say no to something like that. Jauntily walking down a path, Charlie came to a nice flat field that met his desired requirements. On one side was a small hill, perfect for setting up. A nice flat runway of pure green grass stretched dozens of yards in front of it, perfect for take-off. Then finishing with the field dropping off to another one of the park,s many lakes which were perfect for sitting and relaxing in the event of an (unlikely) kite-flying session. But of course, the one criteria this field met most of all, was no trees.
Sighing, Charlie quickly ran over to the small hill on the very left side of the field and set up his kite with military operation. Over the many years of failing to fly his kite, Charlie had perfected his way of setting up the kite, a simple hole with a rock/stick out the back worked wonders. Loosing the cord around his grip, Charlie trailed around 15 ft of cord directly in front of the kite, then quickly moved around two feet to the left. This was to ensure that Charlie would pull the kite on an angle. Grabbing a small wind sensor, Charlie Brown pushed it into the dirt about four feet away from him, as air-currents worked in 8 m shots. He had to wait for the perfect wind that was around 7 KPH. He waited and waited, watching the small machine chug way at the wind when suddenly,
7KPH Reached
The device shone out of its small monitor. Knowing his limited window of opportunity, Charlie Brown started running as fast as he could. Already, by the tension in the rope, he had picked up the kite, already a good start. Picking up speed and ground, Charlie ran and ran trying to get the kite into the air, but it wouldn't budge. it just flopped around on the grass nearly picking up speed only to flop back down again. Unfortunately, Charlie was so focused on the kite, he didn't notice he was running out of field. Once he noticed the change in degree of the field, Charlie suddenly realized the inevitable and slammed his feet into the ground.
Thankfully, with inches to spare, Charlie Brown stopped just at the edge of the lake. I guess it wasn't too inevitable.
BONK
Out of nowhere, Charlie was blind-sided by his kite, who didn't get the memo to stop hitting Charlie in the back and pushing him into the lake. Never mind, it was inevitable. Groaning slightly, Charlie tried to pull himself from the lakes waters before he got too wet, but he was soaked through. Fishing himself up and dragging himself up the bank of the lake, Charlie was met face to face with the offending kite. In a flash of anger, Charlie kicked the kite as hard as he could sending it up into the breeze... as the cord of it tightened around his legs. In an all-too familiar sense of dread, Charlie looked down to see his legs covered in the kite’s wire, just before it tightened some more.
AGHHHHHHHHHH
Charlie screamed in vain as he was dragged along by the kite as the laws of physics decided to look the other way. The kite, with the air of an expert stunt pilot, flew through the air dodging trees, dogs, park benches, picnics alike, but neglecting Charlie as he was unceremoniously dragged through them at top speed. Up ahead, Lucy Van Pelt was calmly 'playing' with her football hoping that Charlie Brown, who frequented this park, would fall for her little joke again. Fortunately for her, Charlie Brown did appear; unfortunately for her, he was being dragged by a kite and crashed into her.
“YOU BLOCKHEAD!” Lucy screamed in a futile attempt to reprimand Charlie as he sped off into the sunset, still attached to the kite.
Charlie, who was receiving the mother of all grass burns, realised that he was picking up speed, alarmingly fast actually. Swerving around a mother and her kid, Charlie’s kite hit a mound of dirt sending him spiralling up into the air.
“NEED HELP CHARLIE!” yelled a voice from below. Quickly recognizing it as Linus, Charlie’s very best friend, Charlie shot back:
“NO! Don’t worry!” And with that, he was dragged off again away from his friend with a mixture of surprise, concern, and disappointment on his face.
As the kite sped on, Charlie started to recognize this part of the park, it was the part where… oh no. That tree was. Somehow turning himself over, Charlie spotted a very familiar tree coming up, the one that had stolen all of his kites. Like the universe coordinated it, the kite shot up into the air lodging itself into the high branches of the tree. Thankfully, Charlie was coming at the tree at an angle, so when the kite got stuck, he shot right past it.
Charlie sighed thankfully as he though luck was on his side… for it to be crushed immediately as the kite cord tighten. Almost in slow-motion, the kite cord tied around Charlie, sending him backwards towards the tree headfirst. Just before crashing into the wood, Charlie uttered, “Good grief…”
THUD
…
…
“What’s he doing?” Came a female voice above Charlie.
“I dunno, poke him or something,” said another.
“No, he’s asleep. Maybe we should leave him alone?” an extra uttered.
Unknown voices surrounded Charlie as his eyes seemed to be welded shut. Attempting to think straight, he pulled his arm up to rub his head, but his arm felt… wrong. So did his body as he struggled to move arms and legs. He felt misshaped, deformed. It’s like his head grew in size, but his legs and arms had shrunk to the same size.
“Hey, he’s moving! Are you alright?” One of the voices spoke once more.
‘No, I’m not!’ Charlie wanted to say he had just hit his head and he felt like he was paralysed because… of that kite! Groaning, he rolled over onto his side which felt more comfortable whilst trying to speak. His mouth felt odd.
“Hello?” the same voice said, “Scoots, Sweetie, I think we need help!” ‘Scoots, Sweetie’? Must be some type of nicknames Charlie thought as he once more attempted to upright himself. Finally, though, he managed to peel his eyes open.
Sunlight immediately assaulted Charlie’s eyes, forcing him to cringe away from it. Readjusting his vision into the canopy of the tree he blinked once more to see his saviours.
“Hi, you okay?” The yellow horse asked.
Yellow. Horse.
Not to mention it also looked cartooney with an over-sized pinkish-red bow adoring her red hair. Suddenly two more horses came into vision, a… Pegasus and an Unicorn. The Pegasus was orange with a violent purple mane, and the unicorn was white with a two-toned mane. So many questions flooded Charlie’s mind. Why were there talking horses, what was with the bow, the Pegasus, the Unicorn, the multi-coloured coats?
“Do you need help getting up?” The Unicorn said holding out her hoof, not waiting for an answer. On instinct, Charlie reached out his… hoof? And grasped her hoof… somehow. To be pulled up, by her.
“Are you okay? You’re just looking around and not talking,” the orange ‘Scoots’ Pegasus said, followed by a nodding ‘Sweetie’. Charlie ignored her and took in his surroundings. It appeared he was in a grove of apple trees, next to a particularly large one housing a weathered treehouse. Not the park, not that that could be completely expected since there were talking horses standing right in front of him.
“Where am I?” Charlie stuttered staring at the trio.
“Uhm, Sweet Apple Acres,” the yellow horse said. “Why?”
“I uh, what town… country preferably?” Charlie said, attempting not to make eye-contact, but the horses unnaturally large eyes made this difficult.
“Ponyville, Equestria. Are you okay?” This time she said it with more force.
Charlie was not okay. It could have been the cataclysmic reality shift in his head for his knowledge of the multiverse. It could have been the fact he was in another body in a world of horse puns. It could have been the simple idea he wasn’t wearing clothes. The main thing was, Charlie was panicking… if you would call it that. Some people would panic by running around wildly and trying to control everything of their slowly crumbling life, not Charlie, he couldn’t even walk let alone attempt to control this multiverse infused train-wreck of an afternoon. So, he did the next best thing he could in this situation.
He started to cry.
If I’m honest, it wasn’t a pretty sight. Try crying with a mouth that is all wrong and your eyes are so big that it seems that the tears going out just go back in while lying on itching grass in front of people/ponies that will never look at you the same way again. It was an all-round bad situation for anyone, especially Charlie. He hated crying. Thankfully, help was already present in the form of the yellow horse.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, okay.” The yellow one cooed while hugging Charlie’s sobbing form, “Scoots, go get help from Appl’jack, I don’t think he’s okay!” Quickly followed was the sound of running hoofsteps telling Charlie that ‘Scoots’ had run away.
“Thanks.” Charlie said somehow retreating into his fur coat. “I just want to go home.”
“Where’ya from?” She said allowing her western accent to seep through.
“Minnesota.”
“Whinnysota? That’s a far way away from here.” Charlie laughed through his unrelenting sobs to quickly stop as he gasped for air to resume his bawl. The yellow one seemed confused by his sudden laughter, but still hugged him the same. A couple minutes went by, and Charlie started to get concerned. Where was ‘Applejack’? Of course, he was in no condition or right to be picky about where help was, but it sure seemed to be taking a while.
The yellow horse stopped hugging Charlie and took note of how he had stopped crying. “There, now, what happen ’ed to ya? Did you hurt your legs or summit?”
“No… I just… I don’t know how I got here…?” Charlie once more started to tear up, but quickly closed his eyes in an effort to quell them. “I was chasing… following…” Dragged was more like it, Charlie thought. Did he want to admit to being dragged by a kite of all things, it could help. Charlie opened his eyes, and stared at the yellow one, behind turning his over-sized head to ‘Sweetie’ who was quiet calmly with a hint of confusion watching the display unknowing what to do.
Looking up, Charlie saw another horse running towards them with Scoots sitting on top of her. This new horse was orange and was wearing a western hat covering her blonde hair. This must be ‘Applejack’. Applejack quickly approached the scene before dismounting scoots to move to Charlie. “There, there, ar’ ya okay?” Applejack said kindly while also taking note of his tears and using her hoof to wipe them away.
“I… don’t know… I wanna go home.” Charlie said mournfully.
“And where is home? Where’s your Ma and Pa?” Applejack said.
“I… don’t know.” This time his sad voice had been replaced by a hollow dread. Where was he, why was he a horse? Did... Did he die? Did the kite kill him? What an almost fitting end, killed by the one thing he tried the hardest at- aside from baseball, but that never went anywhere.
“Oh, how did you get here?” Applejack said trying a different angle, however, this fell on deaf over-sized ears.
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.” He said repeating over and over again almost without end. So many unanswered questions. So many.
“Calm down there.” Applejack said trying to console the shivering yellow colt as he balled up. “Shh, shh, you’re okay… you’re okay.”
Charlie peered up at her as she stared back down at him. He shouldn’t be crying. No, he shouldn’t. Charlie slowly unraveled himself before staring blankly at his ‘Saviors’. On his left was the yellow horse, up by the tree was Scoots, also by the tree was Sweetie as she is treading carefully backwards and forwards. And finally, Applejack, who loomed over him giving him a confused, but kind smile.
“It’s gonna be okay, what happened?” Applejack said slowly.
“I…”
Rustle
Now usually, you wouldn’t notice a rustle when your out in the countryside, but this was a distinct rustle. Not the usual leaf on grass rustle, more like… paper on wood.
Immediately Charlie shot his head up and stared into the tree, and like it was meant to be, his torn, old, ruined, red, kite sat nestled in the leaves right about him- taunting him. Like it was smiling right at him knowing full well what it had done to him and enjoyed it.
“The- the- k-kiTTEEE.” Charlie screamed as his words dissolved in his throat as he struggled and fought to roll over and run away from that dreaded kite. All at once the group panicked as there formerly calm companion started screaming and thrashing around on the ground, dignity be damned if he wasn’t getting away from whatever started him.
“Now calm dow-.” She was cut off as a panicked hoof punched her in the muzzle causing her to back off. Seeing his opening, he would scatter to the field away from the other horses… he would, of course, if he could run, let alone walk. Barely making a pace he flopped down on the ground gaining a whole half foot away from his original place. Why was his head so big? But before he had a chance to make another grand dash, Charlie was suddenly held down by the yellow horse closely followed by scoots.
“Why didya’ punch ma sister!” The yellow one yelled with scoots in ordnance. Sweetie was no-where to be found. “I’mma put ya in the ground for that!” Finishing with that, she raised her hoof angrily.
“APPLE. BLOOM.” Applejack yelled harshly from behind him. “We do not solve violence with violence.”
“But you do with the bad guys like Nightmare Moon, Tirek, King Sombra, and-“. “Do as I say, not as I do Applebloom.” Applejack said cutting her sister off. Suddenly a shadow was cast over Charlie as Applejack stood over him and the impromptu dog-pile.
“What’s ya name.” Applejack said harshly, but also politely.
“Charlie Brown…” He whispered back up at her.
“Why did ya punch me… Charlie.” She said immediately but paused before his name like she was thinking about it.
“The... Kite…”
Applejack raised an eyebrow, but stared up at the tree, and sure enough, and torn, red, kite sat there in the branches. “What about it?” She said still staring at the offending kite.
“It did this… it did… whatever this is to me.”
“It made you panic?”
“It made me into a horse.”
“It…” Applejack faulted. “It what?”
“I wanna go home.” Charlie said not saying anything else.
Suddenly a chorus of hooves came thundering over the hillside, Applejack stared over her withers to see a group of three containing a red stallion, and two white and purple unicorns running with Sweetie at the lead.
“Applejack, dear, are you alright?” The white unicorn said.
“What happened?” The purple one said tailing right behind her.
“…” The red stallion said silently.
“I’m okay, why you all here?” Applejack said turning around.
“Are you okay Applejack?” Sweetie asked, “I got them to help after what that colt did!” She finished seemingly proud of herself.
“It is true that ruffian struck you Applejack?” The white one said with what sounded like an up-class accent.
“And something about him being hurt?” The purple one said prying for answers.
“…” Once more the stallion stayed silent.
“Yes, maybe, and… yeah.” Applejack said to the respective horses. The white one balanced at her answer and stared at Charlie. “Listen, jus’ calm down, okay? The colt ain’t right, right now.” Said claimed forgetting Charlie was a few meters away. “He’s shook about something about a kite right now.”
“A kite?” This time the purple one stepped in, “Why is he upset about a kite, where is the kite?”
“It’s up in tha tree Twilight.” She said to the supposed Twilight and pointing a hoof up into the tree.
“He hit you because he lost his kite?” The red stallion said slowly but sternly finally speaking.
“Nah, he… well… I can’t get a straight answer from him.” Applejack turned her head around to stare at him for a moment before looking back at Twilight and lowering her voice. “I’h think we need some county help right now.” She said before locking eyes with Charlie once more who hadn’t moved an inch.
“Alright then Applejack.” Twilight said not bothering to lower her voice before walking over to Charlie. “Are you okay? Can you walk?”
“No.” He said sadly. Suddenly he was grasped by an unseen force and lifted into the air onto Applejacks back. He had just been floating…
Don’t question it.
“Applejack, can you go to the Hospital, and find his parents?”
“Ya got it Twi’.” And with that, Charlie was off… on horseback.
