Phoenix King Blaziken!

by Uncle Iroh

First published

After oversleeping in in College, I scramble to my feet only to be sent to Griffonstone as my favorite Pokemon. Which would be great, but if only they knew what I could say...

The name's Jack, imagine sleeping in college and realizing you overslept in college, when a 22 year old guy aka me, tries to go to class in said college what happens? I get teleported to a place full of lion chickens as a spicy chicken. What does a guy like me do? Kicking, lots and lots of kicking.

Now I'm here with no one to help me except for some edgy chickens, wooden wolves, and this weird chicken who won't stop bothering me! Well, not helping but annoying, yeah that's the word for it.

I'm a martial artist, in a world full of adventure, "friendship", and frustration because NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!!!!!!! Except for the wooden wolves but shut up. This is going to be fun.


Featured: 4/11/2024 RAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

Notice me, Eevee Verse person!

I have several questions, and one needs an answer!

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I lied there, dormant, asleep and welcoming the soft and warm embrace of the bed. I went to my side and groaned, the sunlight from my window waking me up. I went to my back and sat up straight, my long hair blocking my eyesight. I let out a deep yawn and got to the end of my bed. I walk forth and got picked out some clothes.

"This one says, square up bitch, this one says, I would love to meet you. Meh, I'll go for the I would love to meet you one." I grabbed the hanger that held up a black suit with a red bow tie, what can I say? I dress to impress. I place it down upon the bed and I go to my drawer. Searching for some genes but found some khaki's that matched the black suit in style and in color. I got some socks from the drawer, long socks in fact, yeah, I'm dangerous. After searching for my black boots, I placed the boots next to the bed. I walk into my bathroom to take a shower. A very, very, very hot shower. As I shed my pajamas before I turned up the heat.

"And there we go," I said as I stepped in, the tiny little water droplets hitting my brown skin. I let out a deep sigh, showers were always the best. After finishing the shower and cleaning myself, I dried myself off and got my clothes on. I go to the mirror and I blow-dried my hair, keeping it the silky and long hair that it was. I brush my teeth afterward and with a smile towards that mirror that damn near blinded me I go to the kitchen and prepared some plain coffee. Turning on the news as I waited for the coffee and toast that I put in the toaster. I watched it say something about people randomly disappearing. Weird huh? Anyways it went to weather and both the coffee and the toast were ready. Putting the plate of toast down to the table and a napkin under to coffee mug. I took a bite of the toast, I then slowly put the coffee mug close to my mouth and blew on it gently, cooling it down.

"Huh, I wonder what time it is? My roommate isn't here, and it is early in the morning. I turn on my phone and brought it close to my face. The time of the day was 2:55, that number caused me to spit out my coffee that I was in the process of drinking and onto the toast.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I run to the door but walk back a few steps and grabbed the toast, let no toast be let to waste Gandhi once told me in my dreams. I walk towards the door, calmly, hopefully, the instructor won't chew me out this time. As I reached for the door and opened it, something hit me, literally.


I stood there, toast in hand in a forest. Dead leaves fell from the trees, and I looked around, taking a bite out of the toast.

"Where the hell am I? Am I back at Camp Warriors?" I ask myself, I went to a camp called Camp Warriors, it's not active anymore but the forest gives me memories. I take another bite of the toast and I look to my hand, except it wasn't a hand now but a claw. I stood there in silence and pure disbelief, I then reluctantly look that it after swallowing my fear, pause on that, I only saw red and yellow. I was tempted to drop the toast and run to a river but toast is nice, so I finished my toast and walked to a river via hearing the water. Camp does a lot to you, especially being in a one for six months. I stood there, looking at the water, I had no mouth but a beak, there was no sugarcoating it. I was a fucking Pokémon, and not just any Pokémon, Blaziken.

"Oh... I see, I'm a Blaziken now, that's nice." I said as I sat down next to the river, I know what you're saying, "Why isn't he freaking out?" A. Because I just woke up so I don't wanna scream, B. It would scare the animals away and potential prey. C. It would probably attract predators. I do not want to attract predators in a forest with animals that may or may not be bears, wolves, leopards, eagles, or even a lion, or any crap like that. I slumped down on a nearby stump, and tried to process what's happening.

"Okay, Food, Water, and Shelter are a priority, but first Water needs to be first on my list. Wait, Water is right here! Why am I so retarded?" I chuckle as I get up to look around for an animal or some of their tracks. "No luck huh? I should build a shelter so I at least have somewhere to stay in case it gets dark. Right now, I'm aiming for a tent, or a hut but I'll need wood." So I walked up to a tree. Stared at it, and kicked it, surprisingly the kick went through the tree like a hot knife going through butter. The tree fell down before me and I stared at the tree then looked at my legs.

"I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!" I roared, laughing happily, I then heard a howl in the near distance. "Why did I yell?" I ask myself before looking for somewhere to hide. I heard footsteps or pawsteps in this case but terminology aside I need an escape route and I need one fast. I look at the river and I realized this could be my only source to quench my thirst for miles and I decided... To defend this river.

"Alrighty then, this may not be the smartest idea to do but my idea nonetheless! I will defend this river!" I heard more footsteps- no, pawsteps coming closer and faster. I got in a fighting stance, and looked at the bush that was ruffling. "Come on! Come and get me!" I looked at the bush, my heart pounding with a mix between anticipation, fear, and regret. Something came out and screamed and jumped back, covering my face with my arms, expecting something to rip me apart but it never came. I very slowly, set my arms down and see a cute little bunny.

"Aw, come here you cute little bu-" The bunny was soon ripped apart by a wooden wolf, it's thorns for fangs drilling themselves deep into the bunny. Then shaking it like a chew toy and throwing it aside, I looked at the wooden wolf as five more followed after it, the wooden wolf that killed the bunny looked at me. Seemingly staring into my soul, blood dripped from it's fangs or thorns, whatever.

"Who goes into these woods?" The wooden wolf spoke, yet it's mouth did not move, I'm guessing telepathy.

"Uh... Jack, Jack the Blaziken." I say as I take a step back, they take a step forward, this made me feel very unsettled.

"...Jack the what?" The wooden wolf turned back to it's comrades who just shook their heads.

"Jack the Phoenix." I put it in simplest way I could possibly put it. "But uh... My parents had legs so I'm here I guess." I was scared out of my mind, they're fucking wooden wolves who could talk. Well, I'm a chicken that can talk so I shouldn't be as weirded out as I am.

"What kind of Phoenix has legs? In any case why are you here?" The wooden wolf inquired, "Oh, mind my manners my name is Autumn, but answer my question first before you engage in a series of questions." The wooden wolf I now knew as Autumn told me, I got out of my threatening stance and I looked down at them.

"To be honest I don't know even how I got here, or why for that matter all I know is I'm scared, lost, and I need help." I look at them, Autumn paused and looked between her comrades then back to me.

"Hm, I can see that you are... Confused with your surroundings. Come with us, you need to meet our Pack Leader, the Guardian of these woods. If you want to stay here that is, the nearest by town is a low of 53 miles away. And I highly doubt you could make it past the Manticores, Cragadiles, Giant Scorpians, Leopards, and Ursa Major's and the Ursa Minor's here and not to mention the..." She trailed off and I deflated with each mythical creature and real life creature she spoke.

"Okay, okay, okay! I get it, I'm going with you, damn..." I grumbled as I cross my arms, she turned around and went into the bush, others following her as well. I followed her, I looked back at the bunny before following her through the bush. As we walked I decided to stir up a conversation.

"Ahem," I began, "So what's this... Guardian of the Woods like?" I asked them, Autumn spoke up.

"Well, she's very stoic, brave, overprotective, and a complete and utter bitch." Autumn barked, my eyes widened.

"Don't talk about your mother like that, she's trying to protect you." One of her people who I'll call Dave because why not?

"From what?" Autumn turned to face Dave as she walked on.

"From yourself!" Dave said, I mentally groaned, this is like you being at your friends house and their mother scolds your friends and they have an argument. I looked at a wooden wolf next to me who I'll call Chad.

"So uh... Is it always like this?" I asked Chad, Chad looked at me.

"Does the sun rise every morning?" Chad asked me, I blinked at that.

"Yes...?"

"Then you got your answer." Chad said as he distanced himself from the argument, I follow him as well. This is gonna be a long trip ain't it?


We arrived at the zenith of our trip and arrived at an area of vines over a wall. I looked at it and I looked at Autumn.

"Is this where your house is at? Concealed?" I ask her, Autumn looked at me with a deadpan stare.

"Of course it is you dimwit! And this isn't our house, it's our base of operations." Autumn snapped, I put my hands up and took two steps back.

"Okay, okay, snappy much?" She glared at me one more time, "Alright, I'll shut up."

"Good choice." Autumn walked through the vines and the other wood dogs, I followed her inside and we arrived at a dense forest, with almost no sunlight coming to light our way but curiously there were some glowing mushrooms to light our way. We went on a trail that lead to a giant dragon skull, they went into the eye and I just stood there wide-eyed.

"You coming or are you just going to keep on standing there like an idiot?" I snapped back to reality, which seemed like it wasn't even reality anymore like a fantasy. I walked forward and climbed up the dragon's skull, I then went into the eye and saw a giant wolf, a giant wooden wolf to be precise, had to be fifteen feet tall. I look at it and I go to the exit immediately.

"Nope!" I shouted out, Autumn rolled her eyes and walked up to me, and bit my hand. I yelped and I turned to her, "The hell was that for?!"

"Listen, if you want to stay in these woods you have to make an agreement with the Guardian of it!" Autumn said in a loud whisper, yanking me closer to her.

"Fine, fine, fine! I'll try to, sheesh." I walk on over to the Alpha. And I bow to it, knowing it has high, very high authority over me. The Guardian looked down at me.

"Rise." The Guardian ordered, her very voice shook me to my core, I stood up and I looked her in the eyes. "Who are you?"

"My name is Jack ma'am. Jack the Phoenix."

Trial By Combat.

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"My name's Jack, ma'am, Jack the Phoenix."

I gazed up at the large wolf of timber, ‘Timber?’ I thought to myself, ‘More like log because Jesus Christ!’ I gawked at her form, what I thought of previously appeared to be an understatement as she lay down in front of me. Her paw was the size of me and her head was like, three of me! Not only did the size difference affect my mood, but it was the air and the presence of everyone else. My eyes drifted from hers and traced over the area around me, I found holes and small caves that each held a pair of green eyes that stared back at me. I swallowed my fear before forcing my eyes back at the alpha.

The alpha gave a long glance down at me, her eyes half open as if she was sleeping prior to this encounter. I struggled to fight for my voice so that I could speak again but to my surprise, she spoke before me, “Jack the Phoenix,” she hummed. “What is your purpose here?”

“Y–You see, ma’am, er, alpha–” I slapped myself across the face and shook my head to find my bearings, “I, uh, I… I don’t know where civilization is, I’m lost, so, I ask you, could I please stay here? I have nowhere else to go.”

“Civilization is fifty three miles away,” The Guardian spoke as her fiery green eyes dug deeper into my own, “You have powerful legs it would seem, why not merely walk there?”

“Because, I–”

Before I could finish, Autumn came from behind me and decided to speak up, “Dearest mother of mine,” She began sarcastically, to which the alpha didn’t seem to pay any mind to, “This is a phoenix, and as you can see, it’s the last of its kind. It’s a rare phoenix with two legs,” She prodded at my legs with her thorny paws and made me wince as I was pricked, “It called itself a Blaziken once, maybe that is what kind of Phoenix it’s called? A Blaziken.”

The Guardian raised a prickly brow, “And you mean to tell me that a creature of fire should live among us, creatures of timber?”

“Yup.”

The Guardian’s gaze focused on Autumn and then back at me, “It would appear you have gotten the interest of my daughter,” The Guardian stood up and towered tall above me, “Very well, I will give you a chance at becoming one of us.”

I shot my fist – or claw (claw?) – into the air, “YES!”

“But,” My joy quickly fell as my gaze fell to hers, “You must prove yourself worthy to live in our den.”

“Wait, live in your–”

“You must face a warrior that we have to offer of our choosing…”

“Hear me out–”

“...And defeat them in one-on-one combat…”

“What?!”

“...In order to be accepted as part of the pack.” She finished, all the while my mouth is agape. I looked at her with the most YouTube thumbnail face I’ve ever made in my life. I jump up and exclaim at the top of my lungs.

“I DON’T WANNA BE IN THE PACK! I JUST WANNA LIVE!” Throughout the two sentences, I hopped up and didn't like a kitten trying to get out of its cage. All the while Autumn chuckled out a laugh and the alpha raised a brow in intrigue.

“Is that so?” The Guardian hummed, “Are you so sure about staying out in the wilderness alone and not living among us? I assure you, you’d be safer here than out there.”

Autumn took my side and gazed up at me, “Trust me, you’d be better off here than out there. It’s like I said, there’s a lot of creatures out there, and you don’t look like you can take them on.”

In response I merely scoffed and crossed my arms, “Pfft, I do Muay-Thai, one leg kick and it’s over for them.”

Autumn rolled her eyes, “Listen, if you stay with us you’ll have a way more easier time than taking your chances out there, trust me.” I turned to her with a groan, clutching my beak with my claw.

I kneeled down to whisper into her ear, “Can you give me, like, a pep talk or something? Because I don’t really wanna do this. Especially fight a warrior from your pack.”

“I think I should save the pep-talk when the warrior is revealed.”

“I grow impatient, Phoenix,” I snapped my head towards the giant wooden wolf who narrowed her eyes at me, “Choose to fight or choose to leave.”

“I choose to fight!” I declare, gaining a semblance of confidence for a split second. The Guardian of the Forest nodded and turned her head to whisper in a nearby wooden wolf. Quickly, the wolf raced off to deliver the message, and the guardian turned back to face me. Her eyes alone being the size of my head. I swallowed my fear as I stared into her twin emerald fireballs, “Uh… So, uh… Who’s my opponent…?”

Then something happened, something unexpected, the Guardian of the Forest twisted her lips into a smile. As she did so, I heard the timber that made her creak and snap, almost as if they weren’t supposed to do that. But she did. Why did she smile? Why is she smiling?! “You will find out soon enough.”

Seeing the obvious fear in my eyes, Autumn gently bumped her body into my leg, bringing my attention down to her. “I know who they’re bringing out, they’re bringing out Birch. He used to be the old Guardian’s pup, but when they were overthrown, my mother raised him as her own.”

“Wait, overthrown?” I look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll get into that later,” Autumn promised, “Just promise me one thing, do not be intimidated.”

I winced mentally but nodded, “I promise.” My gaze was torn from hers when I heard the Guardian bark out.

“Birch, come on out, we have a new chew toy for you!” I almost instinctively backed away but Autumn placed her paw behind my talon, almost causing me to trip. She shot me a glare and I just sucked the air through my clenched beak. I looked around trying to spot where the wolf would be coming from, but that was when I heard the howl pierce through the air and into my ears. My head snapped towards the direction I heard it come from, and my beak nearly dropped as I saw a wolf larger than others but not as big as the Guardian walk out from further into the depths of the dragon’s skull. The wolf’s paws were twice the size of my talons and it had scars all over its body and a large one over its left eye.

The wolf stood next to the Guardian and sat down next to her, and that’s when I noticed its bushy tail made out of thorns. I took a quick glance down at Autumn and she gave me a little push forwards – what I assume to be “encouragement” before backing away. I now look around and take up my surroundings, there was an incline around me that provided both a way to get in and out of the dragon skull. The ground beneath us had no grass, it was instead pure dirt and a few sediments formed. The jaws still had teeth and I saw brief rays of sunlight shine through the vines and teeth of the skull. My eyes glazed over all the holes and I saw the wooden dogs crawl out as if they were people taking a seat in an arena. Which… With the incline, it kind of looked like an arena.

I swallowed my fear and took a few steps forward and took a quick glance back at Autumn who nodded towards me. “A–Alright!” I cracked, making me sound like I squawked. I quickly cleared my throat, “Alright,” my voice became comically deeper, “Let’s do this, Birch. That is your name, right?”

The wooden wolf nodded, “It is,” his voice was low and scratchy as if even his vocal chords were damaged.

“Well it’s time I make you, Birch, my bitch. Bitch Birch, Birch Bitch!” I point a claw over at him. Autumn was struggling to hold back her laughter behind me, it almost made me laugh too but my laughter died in my throat when I saw the glare Birch gave me.

“I’ll make you bleed for that.”

My eyes widened.

“Oh no…”


I narrowly rolled away out of the way of his lunge and to my feet as he once again smashed into the dirt, burying his large paw into the ground. The impact of him hitting the ground didn’t seem to phase him – or his paw – and he turned to me with a growl. I yelped and took on a shaky Muay Thai stance. Birch lunged towards me with his maw open, I ducked down and avoided his attack. This time, Birch rolled across the ground and to his paws and booked towards me as I was still on my claws and knees.

Birch ran close and I narrowed my eyes, ‘I gotta fight back somehow,’ with a grunt, I outstretched my right leg and slammed my talon into his snout. The blow rocked the wolf and forced him to stumble back, I went to my feet and sprinted towards him to keep up the advantage. I leaped towards him and put my right knee back to connect a flying knee to his dome, but he barely managed to avoid the attack. Having stepped aside, he used the momentum from his step to spin around and slam his thorny and bushy tail into my back, knocking me into the ground. The blow slid me all the way back to Autumn, I closed my eyes and prevented rocks from getting into my eyes before I stopped.

I put my claws in front of me and pushed myself to all fours, coughing up some dirt as some gon in my beak. Autumn tilted her head at me, “Are you okay?”

I raised one of my claws which acted like a thumbs up, “Yeah,” I said with teary eyes and hacked up some more dirt.

“Look, you’re doing great out there just…” Before she could finish, thorny teeth seeped into my shoulder and held me in a fine grip. I squawked in pain and that was when Birch threw me across the dirt floor and made me roll across the ground like a tumbleweed. I lied on my back but I got to my feet in record time to get back in my stance.

“Alright then you son of a bitch, is that all you got?” There was a little bit of a wheeze in my voice and I subtly swayed side to side. Birch said nothing but growled in response. He rushed towards me to deal some damage and when he got in range, I went for a side kick to his chin with my right leg. I followed up the attack with a kick from my left and smashed my talons across his face. The combo of kicks forced his head to move and stop his charge, but it didn’t for long as he leaped to slash my head. I ducked under the slash, but I couldn’t duck under his body.

He tackled me to the ground and pancaked me between his body and the earth. Birch rose to his paws and bit a claw I held out in front of me to protect my face. I yelled in pain and punched him in his face to make him let me go; unfortunately, he didn’t and he spun me around as if I was a beyblade before he smashed me into the ground.

Birch put his paw on my face and started to crush my head underneath his weight. He didn’t bother to look at me anymore and instead, focused his attention on his mother. “This fight is over,” he turned his head to look at his sister, “I’ve won.”

Autumn huffed and stomped her paw down, “Won? Ha! You haven’t won, he’s still fighting.” And I was, I grabbed hold of a claw full of dirt and glared up at Birch in between his claws. When he looked down, I threw the ball of dirt directly at his eyes.

“Sand attack!” I cried out. Birch howled in pain and tried to claw the sand out of his eyes but to no avail. I went to my feet sluggishly and landed a hook kick to his head. I twirled around to land consecutive kicks to his head before I went low to deal a fearsome kick to Birch’s sternum. The blow connected and knocked him off the ground and a couple feet in the air where he eventually crashed down from on his back. I let out a heavy exhale and went to one knee, but I didn’t take my eyes off of Birch. I watched him growl and snarl like a wild animal before he found his bearings and rolled to his paws.

He had blinked away the dirt in his eyes and bore his teeth at me. Sap spilled from his maw and his green fireballs for eyes glowed dangerously, “You’ve seriously pissed me off.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” I said with narrowed eyes. I wasn’t really angry, I just wanted to sound cool. I went to my feet and took upon a fighting stance. I watched Birch take a stance as well and dig his claws into the dirt almost as if he was going to lunge again, but this time instead of running, I’m gonna meet him head on.

I took a deep breath and got in a running position. My eyes were locked on Birch, my claws were clenched into fists and my talons held the earth beneath me in a firm grip. ‘This is it, the deciding blow, I had to pour everything into this attack or else I’ll be on my own in the forest.’ As I spoke within my mind, I only heard my breath and only saw Birch in front of me. The background was all gone, in my eyes we were in a void.

A cold, dead void.

That I would soon alight.

“SET YOUR HEART ABLAZE!” I cried out and sprinted towards Birch, in response, the wolf sprinted back. His sappy maw was ready to take a piece off me, but I wouldn’t let him come close. With a fearsome cry, sparks flew from my body before I was set aflame. I only caught a glimpse of Birch’s look of surprise before I shoulder checked him across the ground.

The dirt put out any flames knocked onto him. He rolled across the earth and skidded to a halt at the base of an incline in front of some of his packmates. I glanced down at my claw to check if I was still aflame, but I wasn’t, it appeared as if the flames around me left as it came. ‘And just in the right moment too. I don’t think I would have won that clash if it hadn’t.’ I thought to myself.

“You did it!” Autumn ran over towards me and bumped my leg with her body, bringing me down to a knee, “You beat him!” Before I could say anything back, I heard the large wood wolf growl.

“You didn’t beat molch!” I heard him spat, I snapped my head over towards him and saw him get back up. He had a few scorch marks on his body and the attack appeared to have hurt him badly, but he didn’t show it. “Take your stance, job’s not finished.”

“That’s enough, Birch,” The Guardian of the Forest said, and halted our fight from continuing any longer, “He’s already proved his worth.”

“It was a lucky shot!” Birch protested, which gave him a glare from the Guardian.

Birch.” With a tone that demanded respect, Birch’s tail tucked between his legs and bowed his head.

“...Yes, Mother…” He shot me a glare and Autumn stuck out her leafy tongue at him. We watched him walk past the Guardian and crawl into a hole that seemingly led to their den. With his exit, my attention was brought up to the Guardian.

“You did well, Jack the Phoenix,” The Guardian spoke regally. I puffed out my chest a little with pride and a small smile on his face, “You are welcome to live among us.” Among us? “But be warned, Phoenix,” her eyes narrowed and my body froze with fear out of instinct. “You kill my packmates, I kill you. Understood?”

“Understood,” I said with a quiet chirp, but with her large ears, she picked the sound up and gave me a nod.

“Enjoy your stay.” And with that, she sunk back into a hole that was behind her, and also delved deeper into her den. One by one, all of the wooden wolves followed except Autumn.

“I told you you had it,” Autumn gave me a playful shove, I just smiled at her.

“...I think I peed a little.