Really, She Isn't
It was a fine summer day as the Great and Powerful Trrrixie was in the middle of performing one of her trademark show-stopping magic acts in the centre of Ponyville, much to the admiration and adoration of the various ponies that had attended her show. It was always nice to take the weekend off from her guidance counsellor duties so she could engage in her true calling in life, bedazzling her audience with amazing prestidigitation nopony had ever seen the likes of. Sure, her reputation had taken a hit ever since the Ursa incident and even more of a hit after she became corrupted by the Alicorn Amulet but everypony seemed to have forgiven her after she rescued them from the clutches of the nefarious Queen Chrysalis, with some assistance from Starlight and her friends. Though that wasn't to say she didn't have the odd heckler every now and again.
But just as she was about to end the show by summoning an entire tea set and then turning the tea set into fireworks, a trick Starlight had taught her, she saw a big ugly monster attacking a part of town in the distance. It was not like anything Trixie had ever seen before. Seeing this as an opportunity to truly wow her audience, and to show those neighsayers that she wasn't some coward who tagged along with Starlight and Discord when they freed all of Equestria from the changelings, Trixie jumped from the stage and galloped towards the danger.
"Where 're you going?" Snips asked.
"As a demonstration of how powerful I have become over the years, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie shall vanquish the terrible fiend destroying our beloved Ponyville," Trixie replied as she pointed towards the big beast.
"Are you actually gonna vanquish it this time?" Snails asked, "Or are you lying to us again?"
Given the rather sycophantic nature of her two biggest fans, Trixie was rather taken aback by Snails' question, "Of course. Trixie has learnt her lesson long ago. And I'm sure you two have learnt your lesson as well because if I find out you are responsible for summoning another sleep-deprived beast into Ponyville, The Humbled but Powerful-er Trixie will be sorely displeased."
Snips and Snails shook their heads as a sign that they had nothing to do with the latest monster attack. With no time to spare, Trixie continued her journey towards the towering foe until she reached its massive raven-like claw. With its morbid obesity and gaping maw disproportionate to the size of its head, which had a singular reptilian eye in the centre, it was definitely more grotesque in its appearance up-close. But that did nothing to deter Trixie as she whistled for the beast's attention.
"You have terrorized Ponyville for too long!" Trixie bellowed, "Now you shall experience the might of the Great and Powerful Trrri-"
The behemoth swatted Trixie away with its bulging green arm as if she was nothing.
Within her office in the School of Friendship, Starlight read in yesterday's paper about how Star-Swirl the Bearded defeated a fearsome giant cyclops that was terrorizing Ponyville. Since Twilight and her friends were in Farasi, it was a relief that one of the Pillars was there to deal with the cyclops in their absence. Though she kinda wished it was somepony else since she wouldn't put it past Star-Swirl to fight the threat instead of trying to pacify it first.
Suddenly, the office door slammed wide open, with Starlight putting the paper down on her desk to see who it was. Entering the office was the wounded Trixie, who had a bandage covering her right eye and a third of her forehead.
"Trixie!" Starlight cried out as she rushed to her injured friend, "What happened?!"
Trixie sighed, "I was going to end my latest show by defeating a princess-level threat but, despite how powerful my magic was, I spontaneously woke up in a hospital bed and now this nopony named Star-Swirl the Bearded has stolen the victory meant for the Great and Powerful Trrrixie!"
Starlight gave her bestie a concerned look, "You do know who Star-Swirl the Bearded is, right?"
"Of course," Trixie replied, "I just told you he stole my vanquishing of the dreaded foe terrorizing Ponyville."
"Do you know what else he's known for?" Starlight asked.
Trixie gave Starlight a blank look before shrugging, which prompted a facehoof from her annoyed bestie.
"Really? Father of the amniomorphic spell?" Starlight asked, "Saved Equestria a few times? How do you not know who he is?! I even told you about how much of a jerk he was to me!"
"The Great and Powerful Trrrixie has more important things to memorize than every pony in the history of Equestria that had saved the world," Trixie replied, "Also, ever since that little rant about your 'magnum opus' getting a negative review, I've been drowning out whenever you complained about something."
Starlight sighed, "I'm never living that down, am I?"
"Well, you did trot into their office and use the 'Want It, Need It' spell on them," Trixie replied, "But if it helps, it's not the worst thing you did. Remember when you enslaved an entire village?"
Starlight glared at her insensitive bestie, "Yes. I still remember."
"However, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie has another show next week," Trixie loudly announced, "And it's going to be so amazingly spectacular, it would make Star-Swirl's beard blow off his stupid face!"
Knowing from experience what's going to happen next, Starlight ducked her head down and groaned.
It was late evening as the Great and Powerful Trrrixie was about to perform her most ambitious act yet, which was to tame a willing Ursa Minor with a bit of hypnosis magic she learned from Starlight before making it act like a dog and dodging a barrage of fireworks she will teleport in during the act. And given how many ponies showed up this time, which was three times as many as her last act, Trixie had a boost in her usual level of confidence.
"Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trrrixie tames the mighty Ursa Minor as it performs daring feats under my command!" Trixie bellowed to her adoring crowd.
As the crowd looked on, Trixie focused all her magic on the centre of the stage to teleport in the Ursa Minor. And when the Ursa appeared, it roared loudly in Trixie's face. All part of the act, of course. Next, Trixie conjured a pocket watch to hypnotize the Ursa Minor with. Hopefully, the Ursa wouldn't mind being a dog or a ninja because the last thing Trixie wanted to deal with was a very angry Ursa Minor and an even more angry Ursa Major.
"Focus on this pocket watch," Trixie said calmly, "And listen to the sound of my voice. You should begin to feel sleepy. And on the count of three, with each number making you more and more sleepy, you will fall into a deep slumber. Sleep."
The Ursa Minor snored loudly as it nodded off.
"Very good," Trixie said, "Now, in a moment Trixie will bring you up out of your slumber. And when she does, you will find that instead of an Ursa Minor, you are a dog. But not just any dog, but one with skills comparable to a ninja. Three...Two...One...Wake up."
The Ursa Minor woke up and started panting like a dog, even wagging its tail.
"Sit," Trixie commanded.
The Ursa Minor sat.
"Speak," Trixie commanded.
The Ursa Minor barked like a dog, much to the amusement of the crowd.
"Now dodge all these fireworks like the nimble ninja you are," Trixie quickly commanded as she teleported a barrage of fireworks at the Ursa Minor.
The crowd looked on in awe as the Ursa swiftly dodged every single one, even when it threw a ninja star out of thin air at one of the fireworks.
"Good dog," Trixie cooed at the Ursa Minor, "Now fall asleep again."
The Ursa Minor conked out again.
"When you wake up," Trixie said calmly, "You will become an ordinary Ursa Minor again. Three...Two...One...Wake up."
The Ursa Minor groggily woke up, as if wondering what it just did, even though Trixie didn't command it to forget what it did as a ninja dog. Trixie bowed as her audience cheered at her magic act. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw another magic act in the distance. One with an even bigger audience than the pitiful crowd she was stuck with, even though the amount of ponies that showed up for her magic act was certainly a lot. It even had a bigger stage than she did. It annoyed her to no end that everypony would rather watch some random wizard than the Great and Powerful Trrrixie. Deciding to give this competitor the what-for, Trixie focused her magic and teleported herself towards the bigger stage, hoping she doesn't get stuck in the floor like last time. Miraculously, as she appeared on the stage, she was still in one piece and not merged with anything else. She turned around and glared at her competitor, who was wearing a gaudy top hat and an even more gaudy fake moustache over his long auburn beard.
"Huzzah!" the wizard bellowed, "It appears that I, Imperio the Crimson Master, have a challenger."
"You have got a lot of nerve showing up while the Great and Powerful Trrrixie was in the middle of a show-stopping act!" Trixie shouted at the lesser magician.
Imperio shrugged his shoulders, "Who?"
"Me!" Trixie replied irately.
"If you're so great and powerful, how come I never heard of you?" Imperio asked.
"How can you not?!" Trixie exclaimed, "The Great and Powerful Trrrixie saved all of Equestria from the clutches of Queen Chrysalis and showed her former subjects that there was another way, with some assistance from my friends."
Imperio chuckled, "With all due respect, dearie, I don't read the news that often. You might as well have stopped a meteor from squishing Equestria and I'd still wouldn't know who you are."
Trixie was absolutely fuming at the lesser magician's ignorance, to the point that her face was slowly starting to go red. But before she could blow her top, she turned away arrogantly and gave him the silent treatment for a brief moment, oblivious to the fact that Imperio was subtly using his magic to tie a rope around one of her hooves.
"Tell me something, Imperio," Trixie said, barely hiding her annoyance with her competitor, "Have you ever defeated a dreaded fiend of legend?"
"Nope," Imperio bluntly replied.
"Or saved the world at least once using nothing but your own arcane prowess?" Trixie asked, "With the additional magic of friendship, of course."
Imperio shook his head.
"Or what about befriending somepony who is acquainted with our current Ruler of Equestria?" Trixie boastfully asked.
"No but I would certainly like to be friends with Twilight," Imperio replied.
Trixie smiled at her superiority to the lesser magician, "You may have more popularity than I do now, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trix-AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"
Imperio and the crowd watching his show watched as Trixie soared high into the air via the massive firework Trixie's hoof was tied too.
"Don't worry, she'll be fine," Imperio assured his audience, "These magic fireworks have an enchantment that prevents them from setting ponies on fire or blowing them to pieces. Trust me, that kind of thing won't fly in an E-rated fic."
Imperio turned towards a different type of audience and took off his hat and fake moustache, revealing himself to be a certain hairy red unicorn with an affinity for making cameos.
"That's all, folks," Lion said as he took a bow.