Alex was a lonely man before he was brought to Equestria. he was a drifter, with nothing more than a duffle bag on his back and his phone. There he met the ponies that would become his best friends. one of them even managed to find a way to keep his phone charged. Score! The only problem was that in return for this kindness he had to share the music of his people. This can't possibly end well.
All mentions of violence, death or sex will be in the context of the song. And none of it shown.
Alex had never been so nervous. Although he was appreciative of Princess Twilight Sparkle for finding a way to keep his phone charged, The trade off of showing her and her friends the music on there left him more then a little scared. Why you might ask? 'Cause he has some weird and messed up shit on there.
"Are you sure this is a good idea" he asked Twilight.
"Of course it is, think of all the things I can learn about humans and your unique brand of friendship this way." Said the Princess of books.
"This better not turn out super lame." Rasped the raspy raspyniess of the champion of rasp.
"I for one think this is a marvelous idea, as a quartet leader myself I would love to hear the unique sounds of human music" Said little miss posh.
"Isuperhopeit'ssuperduperfunpartymusic" Said Pinkie Pie who really needs to lay off the sugar. "Says the guy who can't live without his chewing tobacco." She says looking at Lockheart.
"Well I ain't been this excited since the last family reunion." said the city girl who thinks she's country.
"I just hope it isn't to loud, I don't want it to scare Angel" came shyness standing there with her cunt bunny.
"Alright lets get this started." He said as he looked though his playlist. He decided to start off going easy on them. "this one was fairly new when I came here but very quickly became one of my favorites."
The music started off slow with the smooth strum of a guitar and cellos in the background.
"I knew it would be lame" came Rainbow
As soon as she said this more instruments joined the fray namely an electronic guitar and drums. then the singer started.
"What does he mean gone tomorrow, Where is he going?" Asked Fluttershy.
"Oh he has some advice for us" Said Twilight.
"Yes well with how much singing we do we already know that" Said Rarity.
"He's started to have me concerned." stated Aj.
Everyone was stunned to silence as the chorus started. Looking to Alex to see a somber look on his face.
"This is about death isn't it" asked pinkie. Mane slightly deflating, Alex nods.
"Oh I see he's trying to give us hope." Said Twilight.
"There is no brighter side of grey. once your gone that's it." said Aj, A sad reminiscing tear in her eye.
"Why would you say that Aj. You don't know that's how it is." asked Rainbow, looking to her friend concerned.
The rest stood in silence.
"I definitely know I'm scared." whimpered Fluttershy holding Angle extra tight.
" You heard him girls, we will be together for ever, I promise" Said Twilight hoping to lift her friends moods.
As the next chorus came in he took a look at them. Fluttershy was hiding in a corner. Pinkies mane was almost flat now, Aj was on the verge of crying, Rarity was stunned to silence, Rainbow was hugging Aj, And Twilight was just trying to hold her friends together.
"Oh my the pain and sorrow coming from this strange instrument, but also the hope." Said Rarity finally broken from her trance.
As the final chorus ended and the gentle guitar came back everyone seemed lost.
"Well that was very enlightening wouldn't you say girls?" Twilight asked only to notice that no one was paying her any mind. Aj was sobbing in to Rainbows neck and shoulder, Fluttershy was shaking, Rarity was back in her trance, and Pinkie just lay unmoving on the floor mane completely flat and having lost a bit of color. "girls?"
"I need to go." Said Aj though sobs.
"let me walk you home" said Rainbow.
"NO!" Aj yelled surprising everyone. "No thank you Dash, I just need to be alone right now" She said turning to leave.
"O-okay." Rainbow sputtered, worried what would cause her friend to yell at her like that.
"I should go to." said pinkie and before any arguments could be made she just disappeared.
"I'm going to see if she is going to be ok." Said Fluttershy.
"I'll come with you." Said Rainbow.
"that was ummmm lovely darling but I must be going. need to make sure Sweetie doesn't burn the house down." Rarity said politely excusing her self.
Twilight just stood there stunned.
"I told you this was a bad idea." Alex quipped, honestly surprised that one song was all it took to fuck them up like this. "And this was one of the more tame songs on here."
"Shut up." Twilight said kicking him out of her castle.
"You bitch I live here to!" Yelled Alex.
"Oh right." twilight said letting him back in. "why didn't you warn me?"
"I'm sorry I really tried to go easy on them I promise. This isn't even the most fucked up or most depressing song I have on here."
"Well you still should have picked something else."
"Like what the song that's about missing your friends after they die, or the one about a man who murders his girlfriend, takes her heart out, eats it, To then proceed to taxidermy her body, Then proceeded to fuck said body. all because she didn't want to marry him."
"what in the name of Celestia, Are you serious right now, Who would wright a song like that." Twilight asked.
"That's not even the fucked up part, she then comes back to life, does the same to him minus the fucking, then when they meet up in hell he says how sorry he is and how much he loves her, Dumb bitch believes him, they come back to the mortal realm, go on a killing spree, crash a wedding, then get married anyway."
"Ok I have decided that humans are the most messed up people around. but I still want to know more, and i still think the key to this knowledge lay within that divice of yours. just please go easy on us. I'm going to have a hard time convincing them to come back without you playing another song like that."
"Alright ill try, no promises that this will be the last song like this though."
It took two weeks to get everyone back together. and even then they where all reluctant to come back.
"I'm sorry about how I acted everypony, Its just that song had me thinking about my Ma and Pa" Aj said.
"Its ok Aj, I know how you feel, I lost my dad when I was real young to." Said Alex as he looked on to Aj with sympathy.
" Yes well Alex here promised me that the next song he plays wont be as depressing, And that we might even have fun with this one." Said Twilight.
"Is it going to be party music?" Asked pinkie.
"Kind of, Its fast paced, energetic and fun." Replied Alex.
"Lets just get this over with." rasped Rainbow.
And with that he brought up one of his favorites from when he was a kid. The song started out bombastically with drums and guitars.
"She looks just like Sunset, how odd." Said Twilight.
"Well I never, she sounds really upset that another mare took her stallion. Why not just ask to be a part of their herd?" Asked Rarity.
"Humans don't really do the whole herd thing Rarity, We are for the most part monogamous. Sure there are some religions that let a man have multiple wives, But this is seen as weird or unnatural for the most part." Alex answered.
"I see but what happens if another mare really likes you, or another mare or stallion really likes your wife, what happens then?" Twilight asked.
"Well you either stay faithful or you cheat on them, a lot of relationships end that way." Answered Alex.
This seems to have mollified them for now so you continue to listen to the song.
" Well she definitely seems happy that she got her stallion, But does she have to brag so much?" Fluttershy asked.
"Listen to the lyrics Fluttershy, she's not bragging, She said so herself." Said Pinkie.
"Oh my Celestia, She's being sarcastic, She's totally trying to brag." Said Rainbow.
"She really seems to dislike this other mare, Saying she's a whore and so on." Rarity pointed out.
"Well they are in high-school, Think about how you acted when you were a teenager and had a crush on a stallion that was taken." Replied Alex.
"Ummmm I would just ask to join their herd."
"Right"
As the music went on Alex looked over to everyone, Pinkie was dancing and singing along, Rainbow was flapping her wings happily, Aj and Fluttershy where nodding there heads to the beat, Twilight and Rarity where completely caught up in the song.
As the song came to and end with a bombastic guitar solo, All the ponies cheered and stomped their hooves.
"Oh my what a delight." poshed Rarity.
"That was so awesome." rasped Rainbow.
"That certainly was fun." squeaked Fluttershy.
"This certainly was enlightening. who knew humans don't like to have multiple partners. this warrants further investigation." Said Book horse.
"I most definitely enjoyed this more then last time." Said Aj with her bad country accent.
"lets do it again, Lets do it again." bounced Pinkie.
It was that time again as the Main 6 gathered at Twilight's castle to hear more of Alex's song collection. With two very special guests, Celestia and Luna.
"We are so happy that you decided to join us today princesses." said Twilight.
"And we are happy to be here my fellow princess." Said Celestia, gracefully trying to remind Twilight that she is a princess as well.
" We hath been waiting many nights for the day were as we can enjoy this hooman's musical archive." came the cute and regal old world talk of Luna.
" And to celebrate this occasion I thought it might be a fun idea to share a song that goes a little bit into the political side of music from my home country." Said Alex.
"Boooooooorrrring." Said Rainbow.
"Quite you." Aj said smacking her in the back of the head. "Don't you go pretending you ain't been looking forward to this all week."
"As a mare that would consider herself well versed in the political talk of Equestria I am also looking forward to this." Said Rarity.
"Fluttershy and I try to stay out of Politics. To unfun." Said Pinkie With Fluttershy nodding in agreement.
"Don't worry girls I'm sure this will be fun and educational." said twilight.
"lets get started then." Alex said as he pressed play
"Not another song about death" Aj said sullenly.
"Relax Aj this one is less about death and more about national pride." Said Alex.
"what's that all over their arm's?" Asked Rainbow.
"That is their tattoos. Some Humans, myself included like to get them on there bodies to express themselves with" Said Alex. They all looked to him in wonder, Clearly wanting to know more. "I'll show them to you all after this song." That mollified them for a bit.
"Well he sure seems prideful. almost violently so." expressed Rarity.
" What is GeePeeEes?" Asked Twilight.
"GPS is an acronym, It stands for Global Positioning System, Its a system of satellites designed to make mapping and traversal of my home planet easier. However there are some spots in more heavily wooded areas where as the song says "GPS don't work."" explained Alex, Twilight writing all this down.
"He sure loves to brag about all his money doesn't he." Rarity said. Harrumphing as it reminded her of a certain royal asshole. "Well at least he is kind enough that he invests the money where it truly belongs." All the others nodding in agreement.
As the song went on Alex found himself grateful that the ponies failed to notice the dig about oral sex. But noticed that Celestia and Luna had been strangely quite so far. He looked over to them to see them both extremely focused on the song. almost to a worrying degree. hopefully they don't think he is planning an uprising.
"So your country had corruption a-hoof?" asked Celestia.
"That is definitely something that needs explanation, after the song though." answered Alex.
As the first chorus came in Alex took a deep breath, For after this part shit gets real, and the questions are going to come in.
"Some lyrics about armed uprising against corruption, How Exciting" Said Luna perking up a bit.
" AyKays? AyAres? boolets? what are these?" asked Twilight curiously.
" that's actually better left explaining after song, I have somethings that will make explaining everything easier." Alex answered.
"I think this might be getting a little to violent now" Said Aj "I think we should turn this off now." she suggested.
"NO!" Celestia, Luna, And twilight answered.
As the second chorus came to a close Alex prepared to answer all the questions, silently hoping they weren't to numerous.
"We doth think that it would be wise to each ask one question if we choose, That way we make it easier on Alex." Said Luna.
"I agree with my sister, I'll go first." Said Celestia. " The first man mentioned something about there being corruption in your country, what is that all about?"
"Good question but its gonna be kind of hard to explain, I'll just give you my view of the situation. so basically there are three major political parties in the United States, the Democrats', The Libertarians', And The Republicans'. How ever the first and last one also go by Liberals' and Conservatives' respectively. Now why this happened and how this started I'm not quite sure on, but the Liberal media started Writing hit pieces on Conservative politicians' and beliefs', this got the nation divided into there own little groups, you got the Far Left who what to change the country's government system form a constitutional republic to socialism or communism. Basically they just want to burn everything down, Take down all the monuments and statues that tell of our history, Then watch as everyone suffers. then you have the True Left, who just want to make a few changes to a few laws to update them for a more modern and advanced time then when they were written. now we have the True Patriots, this faction just believes that the government shouldn't have a lot of say as to what people do in their personal lives. then you got the True Right and Far Right who don't really do anything but get called names by the Far Left. And that is about it." Alex said.
Twilight was busy writing all of this down while everyone else was deeply concerned. "we must know, Where doth thou stand with us and what thou's alignment is." Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I am a True Patriot, and I respect your and Twilights' rule of this country, however I will not bow to you. I would rather die then turn my back on my beliefs." Alex answered honestly. everyone was shocked at his bluntness until Celestia and Luna cracked a smile.
"We see."
"Me next, Me next." Twilight said excitedly. "What are AyKays, AyAres and Boolets?"
"For that I will have to get something out of my room." Alex left the table to go to his room and returned about five minutes later with a large black duffel bag. " Now as some of you know i was found with this bag and had to beg you not to open it, there was a reason for that. I wasn't sure how you all would react to what's inside," inside there were lots of long things mostly made of metal, with some wood and plastic. he pulled one of them out. "this is a AK, or AK-47, AK is an acronym, it stands for Avtomat Kalashnikova, or Automatic Kalashnikov. it was designed by and named after Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov, the 47 in its name comes for the year it was excepted for service in the soviet military, 1947." Alex put it on the table and pulled out the next one. "This is a AR, Or AR-15 its name stands for ArmaLite Rifle patient 15. Made by the company ArmaLite and designed by Eugene Stoner. The design was then sold to Colt, another weapon company with a long history, who made slight modifications then summitted it to trials by the U.S. military where it became know as the M16. Any other questions?" He asked putting the weapon on the table.
"Not from me" twilight said.
"Now show us those things you called tattoos" yelled Rainbow excitedly.
"We think Me and mine sister should have a private conversation with mister Alex." said Luna.
"Sorry Rainbow maybe next time, Alright guys you heard her, if I'm not in the dungeons I'll see y'all next week." said Alex.
Alex lights a cigarette while laying on his bed, thankful that Princess Luna put him in touch with a tobacco dealer. turns out tobacco is a rare commodity in Equestria, and demand a high price. It was totally worth every Bit though as he hadn't had a smoke this good since he found that pack of Camel's in that old RCI he got online. It was in the middle of his reminiscing that Twiggy pounded on his door.
"Alex all the girls are here, its music time." She called.
"Yeah, Yeah I'm coming, I'm coming" He said crushing out his smoke, taking it apart for the unused tobacco to use later. he walked down the stairs, Seeing everyone gathered around the table with the new speaker system that DJ helped him put together. For a mare who can't talk she sure is good at adapting tech, and the music sounds a whole lot better coming out of them then his little phone speaker.
"What took you so long Alex, writing to your mare friend." Rainbow rasped.
"Fuck off Skittles" He deadpanned.
"What we all see the way you look at Princess Luna's flank dude, and the blush you get when she catches you" She laughs. "Seriously though dude just ask her out, We all see that you like her, And we're all pretty sure she likes you."
"She's a princess and I'm an alien, it would never work out." He replied slightly deflating. "Anyway it's time for the music. This is a song I always listen to this time of year, it played at my dad's funeral, and this month back home has his birthday in it." They all looked slightly sad at this, especially Aj.
"This isn't gonna be like the first song is it?" Aj asked him.
"I don't think so, this one gives me hope more than anything else." he answered, setting up the system and setting his phone on the table. "If none of you have any objections I say we get started?" he asked, and when no one said anything he pressed play
The song started out with slow guitar strums and violins setting the mood.
"Oh my that voice. It sounds so magical." Said Rarity.
"What does he mean wings, I thought you said humans don't have wings?" asked Rainbow.
"We don't, but we feel that when you die your spirit grows them. its a way for us to contemplate the freedom that death can bring." Alex explained.
"If you want to pet a lion I can help you with that." Fluttershy said.
"It's less about the lion its self and more about the calmness." Alex said.
"I would imagine that riding a drop of rain is like falling form a great height when flying. really scary." Twilight said exquisitely.
As the first chorus came in Alex looked directly at Aj, remembering the outburst she had at the first song. when she looked back at him there was a flash of understanding in her eyes, and she knew what he was trying to say. Her mom and dad where alright and that she would see them again.
"grandpa's are a blessing, and a curse. they'll love you unconditionally. but they'll always leave you." Pinkie said.
"Quick on the second chorus aren't they?" said Twilight.
"This Genre of music is know for doing that. That way the third verse can hit harder." Explained Alex.
"What do they mean "only happy tears?" you don't cry when your happy." said Pinkie
"There are many reasons to cry Pinks, not just sadness, Happiness, Joy, Love, Any large emotion. I would think you of all people would realize this." Alex explained.
"this song makes it sound like death is something you should strive for, isn't that kind of morbid?" asked Rarity.
"It's less that death is something to strive for and more about that death is not an end. And that life is still worth living." Alex said.
"What does he mean his maker, Standing in the light, and amazing grace?" Asked Twilight.
"He's talking about God." Alex answered.
"who's God?" Asked Rainbow.
"He is someone like Celestia and Luna but you can't see him, and he doesn't walk among us, but we feel him in nature, He is a great power, He is just, He can be cruel yet forgiving. At least that the way I see him. Its a hard concept to grasp like the wind, Or gravity. there are many Gods and Goddesses that people believe in, And each person would give you a different answer. There are some people who don't even believe in a God in the first place. There is no right or wrong answer, only what you believe in." Said Alex.
As the last chorus drew to a close Alex looked around at everyone. Aj spoke up first.
"So that is what you mean by giving you hope, Right?" She asked.
"Yes I know deep in my heart that I'll see not only my dad again, but my whole family. I'll see them at those pearly white gates, and I'll hold them and never let go. And Know in my heart that you'll see your mom and dad again. and you'll do the same. but please Aj don't rush there. live your life here first." He said.
"Is that the real reason you wont ask Princess Luna out? are you afraid you'll leave her behind." Twilight asked.
Alex didn't answer but the girls saw a single tear roll down his eye.
"You should talk to her about this dude. I'm sure she would love to talk about it." Rainbow said.
"Maybe, but that's a thought for another day. Now if you girls would excuse me Twilight interrupted me in the middle of a smoke, and I would like to have one right about now." He said unhooking his phone.
"Alright then, same time next week?" Twilight asked.
"Yup"
As Alex walked in to his room he got a cigarette out of it's little box. As he walked by he looked at his writing desk and decided to pen a letter.
Alex still hadn't sent the letter. maybe he should have, because today was Valentine's Day, and it just so happens to also be Equestria's version today to, called Hearts and Hooves Day. With these great thoughts on his mind he walk downstairs to the "music room" as it's now called, he tried to get Twiggy to cancel today cause of the holiday but she refused. Something, something, Friendship! Something. As he walked in the room he noticed everyone sitting at the table looking at him expectantly.
"happy you could join us." Said Twilight.
"Yeah, yeah lets just get this over with." Came his reply.
"you don't sound very happy today Alex, is something wrong?" asked Rarity.
"Couldn't stand Valentine's Day back on Earth, this world's ain't any different." he said, taking his seat next to Rainbow.
"Valentine's Day?" Asked Twilight.
"Our name of Hearts and Hooves Day back on Earth." He replied.
"You're just mad that you haven't confessed your love to Princess Luna and can't cuddle with her aren't ya." Rasped Rainbow while laughing. Alex's reply was to smack her on the back of the head so hard that she did a comic front flip, landing perfectly back in her seat.
"If your done I think we should get started." When no one reprimanded him for his outburst he continued. " This is a classic love song back on Earth, it's also my mom and dad's song. and before you even ask Twilight no I don't mean they made it, sometimes couples will have a song that can describe there relationships." He said as he set to work getting the speakers prepared. "Is everyone ready?" He asked. everyone nodded." then lets go." he said while pressing play.
The song started off with the almost demonic sounds of a custom built guitar. After this short solo it moved in to the fast paced playing of a piano. only for the guitar to come back and mix in. this continued of almost two minutes before the singer spoke up.
"Quite a long time to wait for lyrics is it not." Said Rarity.
"This genre of music called is Rock Opera, and is known for having absurdly long songs." Alex explained.
"My he sure is a romantic, but what won't he do?" asked Fluttershy.
"You'll find that out towards the end of the song." Alex said.
"Did he day "talking nice" or " carved in ice"?" Asked Twilight.
"Yes" Came Alex's cryptic reply.
"Aw he's confessing his eternal love to his mare, I bet you wish you could do that with the Princess ay Alex." Said Rainbow, his only reply was a raised hand, and she shut up.
"Is he talking about having sex with her?" asked Pinkie. This shocked Alex, he didn't think Pinkie even knew what sex was.
"Yes." Was his reply.
After the next chorus came almost a solid minute of solo's mixed with operatic singing. Alex took this time to look around at every one. Twilight was writing down notes as usual, Rarity was blushing but enjoying the song, Fluttershy was smiling, Pinkie was singing along, how she always knew the words to the songs baffled him, and Aj and Rainbow where dancing in there seats.
"He thinks he's meant to be lonely? That's not a good mindset to have." Said Twilight.
"At lest he wants to keep his promise of love. Good man." Said Aj
"Oh great more choruses. What's with this guy?" Said Rainbow.
"Remember this is an opera technically, so the chorus sometimes repeats a bunch." Said Alex.
"Well at lest the "guitar" I think you said it was called, is doing work in the background. he is killing it" Said Aj.
"Oh we get a female singer in now." Said Rarity.
"He's promising a lot to this mare here ain't he, I don't think its quite possibly to build a city out of sand." Aj said.
"Oh great now she's horny." Said Rainbow.
"She thinks he's gonna leave her?" Said Twilight.
"We did just get twelve minutes to say he wouldn't." Said Aj.
"Now she thinks he'll cheat on her? What's with this chick?" Asked Rainbow.
"I thought you ponies had herds and the such?" Alex questioned.
"don't mean it's ok to sleep around behind everyone's back." Said Fluttershy.
"I see." He said.
As the final chorus came to a close the ponies in the room gathered their thoughts.
"I know, why don't you play this song for Luna." Rainbow said with a shit eating grin.
"Fuck off skittles." Alex Said.
"Come on dude I'm gonna keep teasing you till you make a move." Alex harrumphed but thought about making a stop to the Ponyville post office to see if they could deliver letter a today.
"Well this has been fun but I'm gonna go upstairs, grab a cigarette, and go for a walk. Same time next week?" He said.
Time had come again for Alex to show his music, And this time it was a very important holiday back in his home country. As such he requested two special guests for the occasion. Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince-Consort Shining Armor, and Knight-Sergeant Flash Sentry, who is also Twilight's Stallionfriend.
"I'm sure you two are wondering why I asked you to come today" Alex said.
"Well I'll admit I am curious, But Twilly Said you wouldn't ask without reason." Said Shining.
"For me any excuse to be around Twilight is a good enough one." Flash said wrapping a wing around Twilight. She blushed and looked away while Shining shot him a look he failed to notice.
"Enough of the sappy stuff, lets get to the music already." said Rainbow.
"Sorry to disappoint you Dash but today is going to be very sappy, for today back in America is the day where we celebrate and remember all those gave us the ultimate sacrifice." Said Alex.
"Oh boy I can already tell this is going to be a dozy." Said Pinkie
"I think You're right Pinks." Said Alex.
Every nodded in agreement.
"Alright then lets get started." Alex said as he pressed play.
The song started with slow draw of a violin, with the smooth strum of a acoustic guitar.
"Oh is he in a strange place?" asked Rarity.
"He and some friends got a piece of land for hard work. This I can agree with." Said Aj.
"Why would a man cry when he comes home" Asked Flash.
"What kind of traditions does this 'America' of yours have where they fold a flag? That seems disrespectful to me." Said Shining.
"A quiet place to enjoy with friends, sounds lovely." Said Fluttershy
"What what dose he mean 'Chosen Ones'?" Asked Twilight.
Everyone had shocked faces when they saw the row upon row of bleach white headstones.
"Darling what exactly is Arlington?" asked Rarity.
"The place where we keep our hero's, its full name is Arlington National Cemetery."
Everyone looked surprised at this.
"Wait so when you said 'ultimate sacrifice.' You meant they gave their lives for your country?" Asked Flash.
"That is correct." Said Alex.
"Who brings a child to a graveyard. that's kind of morbid." Said Twilight.
"Oh they're trying to find his grandpa's grave." Said Flash.
"Freedom can have a heavy price." Said Shining.
As the second chorus came in everyone had a somber look about them. watching the Flower ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown
"What does he mean '21 guns'?" Asked Twilight.
"The 21 gun salute is a honor given to our solders who died in combat." Said Alex.
After a Somber but proud violin solo and the final chorus finished Alex spoke up.
"Well what so y'all think?" Alex asked.
"I think I can see the difference in our country and yours, purely based on your military traditions." Said Shining.
"I agree I don't think ether Equstria or the Crystal Empire would ever have to go to war, but if we did I would hope we are treated with the same respect you guys show." Said Flash.
"I appreciate that guys. Well I think our time has came to a close. Girls same time next week?" Said Alex.
