spin the wheel

by jimerjam

First published

poppers scare ponies

A john deere model H's nickname is a Johhny popper, this name comes from the fact that athe engine, while having 12 horsepower, only has 2 cylinders, meaning the exaust will sound like a bunch of 'popping' going on all at once. as you might imaging this scares ponies, dispite the technoligical advancement.

just some drabble, (in other words a complete and utter crackfick. No real value is here. There are a lot of errors you may comment about, just don't be rude about a story I put as much value in one would put into a turd on side of a road)
Though thanks to scarfox 9700, seemingly the only one who shares the interest in antique machinery and copius amounts of destruction

popopopopopopopopopopopopopopop

View Online

It started with some clanking, heard through ponyville, just a random noise ignored by most. Those who listed harder, by coincidence or by cautiousness, would hear gurgling and grunting. However everyone heard the first pop, then the second, and the clanking got seemingly pushed aside by the loud popping.

The popping gave form, turning the bend, a green monstrosity rode on big yellow wheels with black lining, A stream of blue smoke came from a tube, and a creature poking his head from the back of the beast seemed serine. many ran away from the dreadful sound. though 4 chose to fight, Unexpectedly, when the sound was upon them a lever was pulled, and the popping halted. the ponies attempted to press their advantage, but to no avail, as the popping continued no matter how hard they begged or kicked. The orange one got bruises, as the creature was metal, the yellow one got no where as the sound had no eyes the purple one had injuries, as the flywheel was not to be touched during operation, the white one almost made it, a last charge at the sound, commanding his army, however when he completed his flank, he remembered he had no army, he was on vacation, visiting his sister.

But not all hope was lost, as a rod was clanked into place, the creature reached forward and turned a knob, the popping became erratic, the clanking was found again, and the popping died with a grugle.

"What is with you crazy ponies!" the purple one looked up seeing the creature, and her mind began to defog
"Did I not tell you I finally got the fuel valve I was waiting for?"
The purple one responded with a exasperated face, "well, yes, but, WHAT IN the NAME of CELESTIA was THAT!"
The creature responded with surprise, "That was popping, the signature sound of A Johnny popper-
The purple one knew what came next, for the ramblings of the creature, while spouting information of impossible value, the information came in a only slightly comprehensible ramble, a hoof reached out in warning, but it was too late, the creature had started. "-the sound is because the engine only has 2 cylinders, while the tractor it was designed to compete with, the farmall cub, had 4, the model h was more powerful. The tractor is designed with the simplicity in mind, ditching a coolant pumps, starter motor and power steering. The clutch is controlled with lever, the gas is controlled by a lever, and the kill switch is a gas valve instead of the more traditional power switch. Don't stick your fingers in the wholes, or they will get ripped off. The tractor is started by manually turning the flywheel until compression starts, and always always always before spinning the flywheel this lever must be able to move up and down freely, that means that the gearing is in neutral and no power from the engines will make it to the wheels, if the tractor is in gear and the engine starts, the position of the being turning the flywheel is in the position to be squashed by the wheels; and the tractor will run off without anyone in the driver's seat it. The wheel on the other side is a belt wheel it can be used to supply power to other farm equipment, such as threshing machines, balers, fans, pumps, sawmills, and anything else you could possibly think of. This all resulted in a machine that modern safety standards would scream at. now if you are done being mad I will be on my way"
The five screamed at him, but he gripped the wheel and pulled, the massive hunk of forged iron built momentum, and more muscle was put into the turn. A clunking sound with gurglings eliminated from the popper, a solitary pop emanated from the tube, and hands were released from the wheel. another pop, and another. the wheel was now going too fast to see flywheel span faster and more pops followed. The popping had begun and the war started.

3rd gear was selected and the clutch was engaged slowly, the popper inched forward, the battle of the 5 engaged around it desperate to make it stop. The popper rolled on still, turning corners and hugging bends, the pink one hopped along side for a while, though she did not join the fight. A Road to the capital came, less traveled than the rails, and a green lever was pulled the popping halted, but did not stop, A rod was moved from 3 to 1, and the lever was pushed forward, The popping began Its' assent, the four where hot on it's trail. in response a rod was used to further forward and the popping intensified, but the 4 did not falter they did not stop, there were determined to halt this nemesis to their sensitive ears.

The gate guards heard the popping, But they did not care,they were fighting the cheese army.
the cheese queen heard the popping, but she did not care, she was fighting a fusion reaction that had a planet going around it. The guards stopped fighting the cheese when the popping broke down the gate and lumbered through the streets. The rich asswholes, wimps, and bitches where scared that a little slime would touch there tacky dresses. The popping came, and they ran, screaming that the smoke would ruin their coats. The #0000ffballs ran screaming right into the frame and was crushed by the rear tires like the moronic fucking dumbass that he was. However, everybody hated #0000ffballs, so no one cared.

A lever was pulled and a rod slammed home, first gear selected, maximum torque. a smile flashed in the heat of the moment, and a lever was pushed steadily forward.
The cheese queen ate shit, as the doors where busted down. A lever was pulled and the brakes where applied. A knob was turned and the popping became erratic, then died, the creature looked from the green thing, down at the dead changeling, "well, that coulda gone betta"
The fusion reaction that had a planet going around it looked at the dust ball, "she really ate shit didn't she?"
The dust ball deadpanned at the fusion reaction that had a planet going around it, "bed"
Then the dust ball was gone, presumably to bed. The fusion reaction that had a planet going around it looked at the silent popping, and the creature.
"I see that you got the fuel valve that you needed"