Having come back to the rock farm, things were going well until Trixie's past begins to haunt her in her nightmares. With her days feeling more empty than full and regret poisoning her heart, can things ever go back to the way they were before?
It had been awhile since Trixie returned to the rock farm and rejoined the pie family. Yet even with a new lease on life, a place to call home and even a family, there is still an emptiness in her heart she can't seem to overcome. Actions of her past still haunt her nightmares and her waking moments are filled with more emptiness than pleasure these days. Lucky for Trixie, there's a certain somepony that might just have an idea of how to heal her broken heart.
Art by Colon Exclusionzone (I think)
This story was made as a request from: Crowscrowcrow
I don’t know when it started, but at some point I began finding myself appearing in Ponyville. The weather was nice and warm, the smell of fresh grass, morning dew and flowers all tickled my nose. The town was quiet but I could see them all. The entire town had gathered to watch me on stage.
With a sweep of my leg I threw my cape to the side and grinned. The crowd stared on in anticipation. With a flicker of magic I created a field of flowers around myself, and allowed a nonexistent wind to blow the flowers off the stage and into the ground. Ponies would reach up and touch them, and the flowers would glow as they went through ponies hooves.
The sounds of the crowd proved their interest in my magic. My wonderful talent with illusions did there one defined purpose. They brought smiles to ponies faces. Maybe if I tried hard enough I too could make the world a happier place, just like Pinkie Pie did.
Of course this was about the time where it always went downhill. A flurry of voices rang out from behind me. It was hard for me to make out who was saying them but I understood the words as they struck my heart like wooden stakes.
“She’s a sham.”
“She’s scamming you.”
“She doesn’t have any talent.”
“You’re wasting your time watching this crap.”
I looked around me. I couldn’t see who had said these things but I watched as the crowd, one by one, vanished into a cloud of smoke which grew into ever increasing mist. Every single pony in the crowd vanished except for four ponies. The three up front I recognized. Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, their eyes had become empty sockets, their mouths twisted into horrible grimaces. They opened there mouths and whispers flew from them and twisted into my ears.
“She’s pathetic.”
“She’s horrible.”
“She should just kill herself.”
“It would be better that way.”
I grabbed at my ears and tried to block out the voices. I tried to shout but my voice came out as a desperate squeak. A forth pony, the one behind them was a unicorn, or at least I thought until it spread its wings wide to reveal the alicorn. Two white eyes glowed through the ever growing mist and I heard her voice, the one voice I had grown to hate, to fear, to be terrorized by.
I heard Twilight Sparkle. “You’re a worthless burden on the Pie family. On the whole world. Just jump off a cliff and end our suffering already.”
I rolled over and felt the ground vanish beneath me. I blinked and was suddenly looking at a wooden rooftop that was falling away from me. A moment later I hit the hard wooden floor with a gasp. Looking around I was in our room. Marble and Limestone were still asleep, and Maud was still living in Ponyville so she was gone now.
I was safe. I was home. I could just lay there for awhile without having to worry about bothering anypony. The hollow feeling in my heart was still there, gnawing at me but I could ignore it for now. If I was lucky I could ignore it forever. Eventually I pulled myself up and climbed onto Maud’s bed, I didn’t feel I had the strength to crawl up to Pinkie’s old bed, to my bed. So I just snuggled into the bed, wrapped around by the old earthy scent of Maud Pie and pretended that she was there to keep me safe from my worst enemy; myself.
For the next few hours I faded in and out of a dream like state, not quite asleep, not quite awake. My thoughts ran the mill from my favorite kind of sandwich to what it would be like to actually fall off a cliff. Even though I felt safer wrapped up in Maud’s scent it still didn’t prevent my mind from torturing me until the sun began creeping through the windows again.
Limestone as always was the first to wake up. Her rough voice cut out like a drill through stone. “Marble, wake up.”
Marble’s morning sounds were as sensitive and soft as the mare was. I opened my eyes to see Limestone staring at me again. Silence filled the room for a long moment as she met my eyes but eventually she shook her head. “I told you to tell me if you had those nightmares again.”
I pushed myself up. My body ached, less from the fall and more from general sleep loss. I shook my head. “Who says I had a nightmare? Maybe I just have a crush on Maud and miss her?”
Limestone rolled her eyes. “One: we both know you only sleep in her bed if you have nightmares. Two: just because you’re crushing on Maud doesn’t mean you can just sleep in her bed when you miss her.”
My eyes widened. “I wasn’t serious about tha-“
Limestone cut her off. “Of course you’re not serious, you wouldn’t have chickened out about asking her to date you otherwise. Seriously you’re as bad as Marble here, except you’re not actually related to your crush.”
Marble closed her eyes tight, punched her bed and squeaked as loud as possible in protest. Limestone smiled. “Now that you’re both fully awake, let’s get some food and get to work.”
Limestone left the room first and shut the door behind them. I knew as well as Marble that if we went back to sleep Limestone’s taunts would get a lot worse. It was just another early morning on the farm after all. Before getting all the way out of bed I glanced at Marble. “You have a crush on your sister?”
Marble’s eyes widened and she cursed a series of squeaking noises that likely translated to several swear words that I did not feel like repeating. I smiled and walked to the door. I stopped long enough to look back and say, “Hey, don’t worry, I do too. But not Maud, she’s nice but a bit too hard to read.”
Marble glared at me. I walked out the door and made my way downstairs. The first thing I did was grab a piece of toast, some eggs, and most important of all coffee. They almost universally drank black coffee in the house but luckily I had managed to order some powdered cream for my coffee. Since I was the only one who enjoyed a more gentle flavor of my caffeine, it only made sense that I’d need something that would last long enough for the venders to restock.
After breakfast it was out to the fields where we spent most of the day moving rocks. Mining ones that looked like they had potential and finding a few gems here and there. The farm didn’t have a lot of money, since the mines had to close it likely never would again, but there were so many gems on the surface of this plot of land we could sell them for a living profit.
The work was hard, brutal in this summer heat, but it was fulfilling. I had some small change to buy necessities, had been able to avoid buying any unnecessary but very much wanted things like makeup or dresses, and was actually slowly saving up money for a future project. What the project was, I had no idea. I just knew that despite how much I loved it here, this farm wasn’t my final destiny, I was a unicorn with a cutie mark for magic. I might never get to be a magician again but surely there was something I could do. So long as I avoided any other cursed books I would be fine, at least I assumed so.
The longer we worked the less my mind was able to think. Probably the only thing that kept my inner darkness at bay. It always seemed that during every break we had my mind would retreat back to that dark place where my thoughts would think of where I was, how I hadn’t deserved to be here, and what I would never again have.
After a long day of work we retired to the house and had dinner. After dinner it was time to bathe. One of the few really good things about this farm, and as far as I was concerned it was a secret kept only to the pie family, was the underground hot springs there basement was connected too. It was a large cavernous area with a few wooden walls to separate where the girls would bathe and where the boys would. Although usually all this meant was that the children, me included would bathe on one side and the parents on the other.
This place had to be at least a hundred square feet. Several species of tropical plants had managed to grow in the water, crystals filled with magic lit up the place in a splendid yellow orange light. Heck there were a few species of fish that lived in the water too. This place was like a magical wonderland that nopony knew existed.
One that could have brought some massive profit in for the family if they ever decided to change profession, but until the gems actually ran out it was unlikely that Igneous would even consider the idea of turning this into a paid hot spring. Which was fine by the rest of us because it meant the only ponies in this entire world that got to enjoy it was the family.
I found myself leaning on the far end with my body almost entirely submerged beside my head. A few fish came to play through my tail as it splayed out in the water. It was nice but I couldn’t help but to stare at the rock wall and thinking about those nightmares.
Every time I was on stage, running a magic show for the first time in who knows how long? Every time I was having the time of my life before things would end horribly, every time I was in Ponyville, and every time I was haunted by the four ponies who had ruined my career… I wasn’t even mad with one of them. Me and AJ were on decent terms now, yet she still haunted my dreams.
I let out a sigh. “I wish Pinkie was here.”
Limestone’s voice appeared next to my head. “Welcome to the family.”
I jerked to the side and stared at her. “Um… hi.”
She glanced at me. Her eyes had softened a bit. “You know that I forbid you from being sad.”
Trixie looked down at the water. “I’m not sad.”
“Then why do you look like it.”
“I’m…” Trixie wasn’t quite sure how to describe this feeling that overcame her so often in her quiet moments but she’d try her best, “Empty, hollow… it’s like a heavy weight is on my chest and it’s holding my heart down until it’s drowning in the empty feeling.”
Limestone’s eyes closed. “You’ve been feeling like that ever since you came back here, haven’t you?”
“I’ve been feeling that way for years. It’s a lot better here. I don’t think about it so much, it only hits me when things get quiet.” I smirked. “Makes me glad you’re always so loud.”
Limestone growled. “Well you’re welcome. I guess. Anyway, shouldn’t you be happier here, I thought you liked it here.”
“I do.” I could feel my ears pressing against my head as they folded back. “I don’t understand what’s wrong myself. I know that I’ll eventually want to go somewhere, do something, I’m a unicorn, my cutie mark was granted to me so I could have a magical destiny, but I’m not sure why I feel so empty inside. This place is amazing.”
Limestone let out a sigh. “You know, Pinkie felt the same way. It’s why we sent her to live with our cousins in Ponyville when she was so young. It was better than her being so sad all the time.”
“I thought you only found out about the Apples being your relatives a few years ago.”
“Other cousins, less distant but more recognized. The Cakes.”
I nodded. “Ah, okay. Big family I take it.”
“Oh Celestia, you have no idea.”
“Do you think Pinkie would come back for a visit?”
Limestone smiled. “If we tell her you’re being a lonely weirdo again, yeah she’ll come home. Heck she might drag Maud too, so you can ogle my sister while you start to feel better.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh wow, thank you.”
Limestone’s smile faded a bit. “Honestly though, those nightmares are scary. I never even thought about the idea of somepony taking their own life until you told me that’s what the nightmare ponies are telling you to do. I kinda want to kick AJ’s flank for it even though she didn’t do it.”
I laughed. “I think she’d feel absolutely awful if she heard about that nightmare… please don’t tell her.”
“I wasn’t planning on it.” Limestone opened her eyes and looked up. “Actually… I think I know just the way to get Pinkie to come home and to make you feel better. You’re basically our sister now, and she hasn’t done that yet.”
“Done what?”
Limestone grinned. “Oh, you’re going to love it. Pie Sisters’ Surprise Swap Day.”
I found myself back on that stage, this time somehow I was aware of how wrong this was. The crowd had vanished, the fog had appeared and the four ponies were standing there, mocking me, putting me down, and trying there best to hurt me. I looked at Applejack and despite my entire body shaking I managed to squeak out the words, “I’m sorry.”
For a moment all of the ponies gave pause. Applejack’s form vanished into the ever growing fog. For a moment I had wondered if maybe I was free from this torment. The other three ponies were quick to go back to their taunts, their painful words, there seething hatred of my very existence.
I laid down, ready to give up. I just couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t stand them hurting me. It was too much. I glanced over through tear filled eyes and saw Applejack by my side. I couldn’t speak, I tried to but words just wouldn’t come out.
Applejack glanced down at me and smiled warmly. “Ah already forgave ya, Trixie. Don’t let some illusion fool ya.”
I looked back at the others in the fog. Their words had shifted, changed tone and frequency, it sounded much more like hissing than speaking. Yet the anger and the hatred was more clear than ever. The shear amount of rage coming from them was enough to give me shivers down my entire body. They wanted me dead, and wanted me to be the one to do the job as they couldn’t bother dirtying there hooves with it.
The way Rarity looked at me specifically, it was something I couldn’t erase from my mind. The look of disgust and hatred in those eyes was inhuman. The longer I looked into those eyes, the more I could sense something deeper. There was a smell of burnt paper. I closed my eyes and luckily was swept away by the darkness.
***
Morning came and went. A few days had passed since my conversation with Limestone and my request to have Pinkie visit. The nightmares were still there, still awful. Every moment I wasn’t busy moving I could feel that hollowness creeping up inside of me, so I moved more, I worked harder, I nearly passed out a couple times over exerting myself but so long as I didn’t stop moving I was okay. I had to be okay. The Pies were counting on me to be okay for five freaking minutes.
It wasn’t until midday arrived and the air on the farm seemed to change. To grow less oppressive. Something had changed on the farm, it was almost unnoticeable but I could sense it in my soul. I looked around and found both Marble and Lime stone doing much the same. I guess I wasn’t the only one to notice it.
Off in the horizon I saw a pink dot. It was slowly making its way down the road towards the farm. My heart was soaring and I couldn’t help it. Exhausted, fur damp from sweat, and my muscles burning I began galloping toward the pink dot. It couldn’t be. It had only been a few days, there was no way she was here already.
Yet the closer I got, the more the pink dot became a pony. It was her. It was Pinkie Pie. I continued running towards her until we were only a few feet apart and I leapt forward and wrapped my hooves around her. We hit the ground rolling backwards a few times and I ended up on top of her clinging on for my dear existence.
Pinkie giggled. “Ahhh, did you miss me that much?”
I nodded against her fur. “Yes!”
She stroked a hoof through my mane and spoke softly. “Limestone told me about the nightmares. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t care about that at the moment. I finally had Pinkie back. I didn’t even realize how much I had missed her until she was here. It was like my entire world had become shades of grey, devoid of any hope or joy, and her appearance was the fresh rain of color and happiness that changed my world. Maybe that’s not the healthiest thing in the world but who cares if it meant I could be okay for a few brief moments.
I snuggled into her chest and took in her sweet scent. She smelled more like frosting then she did a pony. “It’s okay. You’re here now, it’s okay.”
She giggled again. “Ahhhh, Trixie. Of course I’m here, I’m gonna help ya feel better so you’re not sad anymore.”
I felt a bit of my energy fade as I thought about that. How many times had Limestone told me I was sad. I didn’t feel sad most of the time. I just didn’t feel at all. This wasn’t sadness… it was somehow worse. “I’m not sad.”
Pinkie spoke in a soft whisper. “I know, I’ve been there. Empty, hollow, like nothing can lift that weight inside you’re heart… I know that feeling well.”
I wasn’t sure how Pinkie already knew what I felt but if what Limestone had said was true, Pinkie Pie more than anypony understood exactly how I felt. At least, I really hoped she did, because nopony else seemed too. I heard Limestone and Marble approaching from behind me. Limestone was obviously the first one to speak, “Trixie, if Maud catches you like that she’s not gonna date you, you know.”
I laughed. “That’s okay.” Still out of politeness I stood up and helped Pinkie to her hooves. “Pinkie’s here now, that’s all that matters.”
Limestone nodded. “Agreed. Now, Pinkie, tell me what your plan is to fix Trixie because her sadness is making me feel sad too. And I HATE feeling sad. It makes me angry.”
Pinkie Pie laughed. “I have a few ideas. But I’m also like, super hungry!”
Marble squeaked out something that sounded like an agreement. Limestone shook her head. “I guess it’s about lunch time already, let’s get some grub then.”
Pinkie cheered and hopped down the road towards the house. Limestone and Marble followed behind. I couldn’t help but to watch Pinkie bouncing like that. I couldn’t understand it, if she ever felt as bad as I had, how could she be bouncing with so much joy now? Well either way I was going to get the answer to that question and learn how to be as happy as her. Even if I had to steal the secret.
Limestone called back. “Stop staring at Pinkie’s butt and start walking, Trixie. Or else I’m not letting you eat.”
My entire face started to burn and I looked directly down at the ground as I began walking forward. How could she say that out loud? What would Pinkie think if she thought that I was doing such a thing, I mean she might not help me anymore. Besides I wasn’t actually staring at Pinkie’s butt… not directly anyway.
Once inside we all gathered around the table to eat some lunch. Nothing special just some sandwiches but still good food. It wasn’t too long before Limestone and Marble had finished their food, and after a few quick looks at Pinkie they left to continue working. Leaving just me and Pinkie alone.
Pinkie was looking down at her plate and giving it an odd look as if something was truly wrong with her reflection in it. After a long moment she spoke, “So, you’re seeing some of my friends in your dreams, and there telling you to hurt yourself?”
I shrugged. “Just nightmares.”
“Has anything made them better?”
I thought about it for awhile and remembered the dream from last night. “When I mentioned to the dream ponies that I’d already apologized to Applejack, that she had forgiven me, the mean one vanished and the nice one appeared by my side to defend me. Of course the dream got a lot scarier but having her by my side somehow made it less awful.”
Pinkie nodded. “I think I know what we need to do to fix this. I was talking to Luna about it actually and she had the same idea!”
I blinked. “You told Luna, as in The Luna, about my dreams?”
Pinkie smiled. “Yeppers, because who else would know how to deal with dreams better than her? I even asked if she could go into your dreams and help you. She tried but said that something was keeping her out.”
I really didn’t like the sound of that. What could keep Luna out of my dreams? She was an alicorn princess nothing should be to do that. Maybe this was related to the Alicorn Amulet somehow… I didn’t want to think about what kind of things that cursed necklace might have done my brain.
Pinkie Pie continued. “So basically Luna suggested that you’re guilt over what you’ve done in Ponyville was causing these nightmares. I think she’s right. After all you’ve only really apologized to me, Applejack and Twilight right?”
I ran a hoof through my mane. “I uh… mostly apologized to Twilight.”
Pinkie nodded again as if she had expected that answer. “Well at least she’s easy to talk to. I’m sure the others would forgive you too. So what’dya’say? Wanna come with me to Ponyville so we can make those bad dreams go away?”
I stared at her. “I don’t think I could ever return there… I’m not welcomed.”
Pinkie laughed. “We let Discord run around the town causing chaos… for funzies now not meanzies, so why wouldn’t we let you come back too, especially if you’re actually sorry?”
“You let Discord have his way with your town?”
She nodded. “Yeppers, but he’s nice now, mostly just makes it rain chocolate milk on occasion.”
I leaned back in my chair. “I… still don’t know. These dreams are horrible, and I want to just be happy all the time, instead of feeling that hollowness and thinking dark things… but are you sure that this is a good idea?”
Pinkie Pie stood up on her rear legs and put her forelegs on the table. “Of course, Maud and Applejack are there and want to see you too!”
“I still don’t know. I’m… I’m scared. What if somepony tries to hurt me?”
“I won’t let them.”
“You can’t always protect me.”
“No but Maud and Applejack can help.”
I stared up at her. “You sure this is the only way to get those nightmares to go away?”
Pinkie beamed. “I know it’s gonna be hard, so I’ll make you a deal. You do this, just give it a try and let me try to fix this for you. If you do that, I’ll go on a date with you.”
I blinked. “D-d-d-date!”
“Yeppers!”
“How did you know I wanted-“
“You’ve been staring at my butt since I got here. It’s pretty obvious you like me. Also Marble told me.”
I could feel my eyes bulging out of my head. “How? You just got here, she hasn’t said a word since you’ve been here!”
Pinkie smiled even wider. “We’re twins. We don’t need words to get secret messages to one another. It’s why I know how worried she is about you… so what do you say?”
I wanted to scream, to argue, to say no. Yet I knew it might honestly be my only chance to fix this broken part of my brain. Moreover she now had me concerned about something I hadn’t been before. What did the Alicorn Amulet really do to my brain… I fear the only pony in Equestria who might know would be Twilight. At least I don’t think she hated me. The last time I saw her I kinda, sorta apologized and she smiled at me. You don’t smile at ponies you hate, right?
Besides this got me one thing I’ve been wanting for a long while now. I stood up. “Okay, Pinkie, I’ll… I’ll go with you and try this.”
Pinkie Pie shouted for joy. “Hooray! Okay, in that case we’re gonna call this your Pie Sister Surprise Swap Day. Don’t worry about giving me a gift, just going with me to try this is a gift enough, as for you I’ll have a real treat for you on our date.”
I opened mouth but closed it soon after. Was it possible that Pinkie might actually be looking forward to going out on a date with something like me? No, maybe she was just desperate and since I said yes I was good enough… or maybe she was just so kind she was willing to lower her standards to fit me. No matter the reason I decided I’d just be happy with it. After all Pinkie was a really good pony, not many of those existed out there, so I’d be more than happy to accept her pity on me.
I really didn’t look forward to going back to Ponyville though.
It wasn’t long before I found myself sitting on a train with a suitcase by my side and Pinkie sitting across from me. Turns out she had already purchased some tickets for me knowing that I was going to go with her in advance. If I said that mare’s powers of prediction were not at least a little frightening on occasion I’d be a sore liar.
Still even with all of that said I was more scared of our destination then of anything else. Even with scenery outside the train looking green, lively, and beautiful I was absolutely horrified of my decision to come back here. I wondered if Pinkie would still go on that date with me if I got there, immediately turned around and left. I technically still ‘tried’ to go to Ponyville in that case right?
Who was I kidding? I knew what she wanted me to do, and I knew it was likely the only way to make my nightmares go away. I didn’t like to dread sleep, to feel so empty inside, nor feeling like maybe those voices were right. With some luck Pinkie’s actions here would be just what I needed to feel better.
At the very least Pinkie Pie was smiling at me, and that smile alone lifted my spirits.
The train slowed to a stop and my heart climbed up and into my throat. Once it fully stopped Pinkie rose from her seat and the side doors opened. I could smell the change in the air. It smelled like grass, flowers, and life outside. So different from the stale dirt scent of home. I rose from my seat and levitated my suitcase next to me with a flicker of magic. Following Pinkie Pie, each step towards the exit made my heart shake. It was bright outside, and hard to make anything out from in here. Pinkie walked out the door and I almost panicked as she vanished into that bright light.
I jumped out after her and nearly collided with her from my effort. I was outside. There was a wooden platform beneath my hooves. I could see the town just past the station platform. So many colorful ponies walked about, so many houses were scattered about. Flowers and grass grew everywhere. The sun here even felt like it was brighter, warmer. Off in the distance I could see what looked like a giant tree made entirely of crystal.
I was here. I was finally back in Ponyville, and this was the last place on earth that I wanted to be. Despite it’s beauty I was positive that it would only be a matter of time before somepony caught wind of my existence and the town would become hostile towards me.
I looked at Pinkie but she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking to the side where I saw both Applejack and Maud walking towards us. Applejack was wearing that friendly smile of hers and Maud was looking as stoic as a rock. Seeing Maud again, something inside of me felt better, it felt safer. I began walking towards them.
Applejack began speaking, “Howdy, Trixie. Glad you came ba-“
I lost the rest of what she was saying as I threw myself into Maud’s chest and buried my face into it. I whispered so quietly that I was afraid she might not hear me. “Please keep me safe.”
Maud wrapped a leg around me and pulled me closer. “I’ll keep you safe.”
Applejack spoke again. “Uh, Pinkie, is she usually like that?”
Pinkie giggled. “I think we’re all like that. As the big sister Maud’s always been the one to protect us.”
Maud smelled like the earth, she smelled like home. I pulled back just enough to look up into her face. “Um… sorry about that.”
Maud shook her head. “Don’t apologize for being scared. We’re all here to keep you safe. Even if I have to leave soon.”
I swallowed. “You have to leave soon?”
Maud nodded. “I have to leave soon for a trip. I’ll stay by your side until then.”
I pulled back and tried to recollect myself before anypony began to stare. Better to keep myself as low profile as I could. Yet I was not planning to leave Maud or Pinkie’s side by more than a few feet while I was here. I trusted Pinkie enough, but despite my attraction to the pink pony, I wasn’t sure she could really keep me safe as well as Maud could. Maud on the other hoof had more than proven herself able to keep us safe on numerous occasions.
I looked to Applejack. “Sorry about not saying, Hi, yet. Um… hello.”
Applejack tilted her hat. “No problem, Ah can tell yer a bit nervous.”
I laughed. “A bit? Try a complete nervous wreck. If it wasn’t for my nightmares and Pinkie’s insistence I wouldn’t be here.”
Pinkie thoughtfully added, “That and I promised to go on a date with you if you did.”
Applejack glanced at Pinkie and then back to me. “Well, Ah reckon this was something Ah could’ve seen coming, but Ah didn’t.”
Maud shrugged, it was an awkward motion from her. “They’ll be cute together.”
I glared at Pinkie. “Thank you for letting everypony know that now.”
Pinkie giggled and smiled at me. I couldn’t stay mad at her for making things awkward with that smile. “No problem.”
I lowered my head. “Anyway, I want to get off the streets and into hiding as soon as possible. Before anypony recognizes me… but one question; why are you two here?”
Applejack answered for them. “Because Pinkie told us she was bringing you here and we thought it best to be there to support ya.”
Maud nodded in agreement.
I shook my head. They really did care about me. I still wasn’t sure how they could, I mean I didn’t even care about me, but knowing that they did seemed to make all the difference in my fear paralyzing me. I looked to Pinkie, “So how long is this going to take?”
Pinkie Pie put a hoof to her chin. “Probably two days, maybe three.”
I gave her a flat stare. “I’m just here to apologize to Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, why would that take so long?”
“Just call it a hunch.”
Applejack shook her head. “This is going to become a mess ain’t it?”
I lowered my head even more. “I don’t want to be here anymore… let’s just start and get this over with.”
Pinkie Pie squeed for joy. “Alright, we’re going to start with Twilight since she’ll be the easiest one.”
I looked up at her. “Really?”
“Yeppers, I mean after how she almost destroyed the entire town like, ten thousand times, I don’t think she’ll be against forgiving you.”
I stood up straighter. “She did what now?”
“She’s almost destroyed the town like, a lot of times.”
Maud Pie stated, “Parasprites.”
Applejack added, “The Smarty Pants doll.”
Pinkie Pie nodded. “See, you’re not the only one to threaten the entire town’s safety and put everyone at risk. And we still like Twilight, so I’m sure we’ll be able to help you too.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “Thanks… I think.”
Pinkie Pie began bouncing off in the direction of that giant crystal tree. “Alright you lazy ponies, let’s get going!”
I followed and Maud and Applejack quickly kept pace flanking each one of my sides as if to keep me safely in the middle of them. Applejack was smiling as she said, “That mare has no tact, but she has more compassion than most anypony Ah’ve ever met.”
Maud nodded. “Agreed, Pinkie is pretty special.”
Hearing that made me a little happier. At least I was going to have some ponies caring for me while I was here. With Maud, Pinkie, and Applejack at least I knew I’d be safe. It also didn’t hurt that Pinkie was bouncing right in front of me, which gave me a pretty good view as I walked through town… so long as she didn’t notice me staring that was.
***
We finally arrived at the base of the giant tree. On closer inspection I realized it wasn’t just a giant crystal tree, it was a giant crystal tree castle! Of course Twilight would need some place so gaudy to live in once she evolved into Princesshood. Still I couldn’t blame her, I’d do the exact same thing in her horseshoes.
Once inside Pinkie spun around midair and stopped dead in front of us. “Okay, so I know you were staring at my butt the whole time, but did you see how pretty this castle is from outside?”
I blinked. “I-I-I wasn’t-“
Applejack pat the top of my head. “Just be pretend you didn’t hear the first part, it’s usually easier with Pinkie.”
Pinkie Pie blinked in rapid succession. “Ignore what first part? The first part of the castle? But those are the doors we used to come in, how can you ignore those and still come inside?”
I shook my head. Note to self, Pinkie realized you were staring, and didn’t care. “Um, yes, castle, castle is… uh… it’s made out of crystal.”
Pinkie Pie laughed. “Yeppers.”
Maud pawed at the floor. “I’ve studied the structure of the castle and I’ve concluded some parts of it are made of quartz, other parts are made from material I’ve never encountered before but is as strong as steel.”
I blinked. “The castle is that strong?”
Maud added. “Likely to withstand any siege weaponry.”
Anypony stupid enough to siege Ponyville was likely to have a dragon and an ursa major shoved where Celestia’s sun doesn’t shine. Still to think the castle wasn’t just a gaudy mess, it was an invincible gaudy mess. Celestia was too good on her prized student. Maybe if I’d gotten some of that kind of treatment I wouldn’t have ended up this way… or maybe I would have become much worse.
Pinkie Pie bounced ahead toward a giant set of double doors. “Come on slowpokes, everypony is waiting for us already.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. I followed none the less and watched as Pinkie opened the set of double doors to reveal an absolutely massive room. There was a round table with a hologram of a map on it and six chairs sitting around it. Pinkie Pie bounced into the room and spun mid air to land on her rear legs gesturing wide to the table. “See everypony is already here and waiting to talk to you just like I asked them too!”
I looked past Pinkie and only saw a single purple alicorn who was busy reading a book and hadn’t seemed to notice our intrusion yet. There were no other ponies. I looked back at Pinkie. “Um… Pinkie, there’s only one pony here.”
Pinkie looked back and her jaw dropped. “But… but I told everypony you were coming for a special visit and to apologize for your actions. I asked them to be here already… why didn’t they come?”
Twilight’s voice rang out from the table. “They thought you were joking. Or they called this a joke. Not really sure which, they didn’t really explain themselves before taking off.” Twilight set the book down and looked at me, directly at me. She wasn’t glaring though, she was smiling. “Welcome back to Ponyville, Trixie Lulamoon. I hope you were given a warm welcome.”
I stood there shocked. Twilight was sitting on her crystal throne staring directly at me, but I couldn’t detect even a single ounce of hatred from her eyes. Her smile, small as it was, was inviting. I couldn’t move, I could hardly think. I figured she’d at least be mistrusting of me, if not still mad. Sure I had apologized for my actions so she wouldn’t hate me I figured but to have her being nice to me. I think it was too much for me to take.
Twilight’s eyes began to widen. “Trixie, are you okay?”
I couldn’t think straight. My head was feeling dizzy. My lungs were burning and I couldn’t figure out why.
Pinkie spoke. “Oh she’s just nervous.” Pinkie then slapped me on the back and I opened my mouth and sucked in a cool breath of fresh air.
My lungs ached and I was gasping for breath. I looked at the crystal floor and saw my reflection. My cheeks were actually red, how long I was holding my breath for. For a couple minutes I simply stood there trying to remember how breathing worked, I believed it was something ponies did so as to not pass out.
I didn’t even hear her approach but I heard Twilight’s voice right in front of me. “You okay?”
I looked up at her. Those eyes showed real worry and concern for me. After all I’d done here, she was worried about me? I should have been the last thing she cared about. I stumbled to get any words out. “I-I’m fine. Just… forgot how breathing worked.”
She glanced at Pinkie and then back to me. “Sounds like you’re pulling a ‘me’.”
I had no idea what she meant by that but I figured I already embarrassed myself enough. It was time to finish what I came here for since any form of dignity was now out of the question. “I just wanted to apologize for the things I did to hurt you and you’re friends. I don’t think I ever really said sorry for it, but I am.”
Twilight smiled and reached out with a wing. She patted my shoulder gently. “Don’t worry about it. I forgave you a long time ago. Actually I need to apologize too.”
I cocked my head to the side. “You? But… why?”
She shook her head and looked down at the floor. “I knew you must have been suffering from friendship problems. You seemed lonely and like you refused to let ponies get close to you. After how my friends attacked you on stage for your magic show, I figured that you probably grew even more distant from ponies. You came back to Ponyville seeking vengeance and were wearing a cursed amulet. Yet once again, instead of trying to get close to you, trying to help you through the painful experiences you were having, the shame you must have felt for doing such awful things… I let you go. I let you go off all alone into this brutal, mean and cold world.
“Honestly, I don’t deserve the title of Princess of Friendship if I can’t help out a pony who’s crying out for friendship.”
I stared at her, bewildered. All those things she said were true, but I never expected anypony outside of the pies to ever really understand it. Yet here she was, Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship, and she had seen through my façade to see how weak and scared I really was. Yet she was also acknowledging how she’d made a mistake by not acting on it at the time.
Between the confusion in my brain, and the reminder of old pain in my heart, I found I could really only say one word, “Why?”
Twilight looked down into my eyes. “Because I was selfish and wanted Princess Celestia to think of me. I didn’t want to spend time away from her to track you down and help you. I did try to, eventually. If it hadn’t been for Pinkie letting me know what you were doing on the rock farm and how you were recovering, I’m not sure what I would have done.”
I felt weak, and much to my surprise, tired. I had to sit down but I kept looking into those eyes. “I didn’t mean that, I meant why care about something like me?”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “You are not a ‘something’ you are a somepony.”
I blinked. Why were my eyes starting to sting? “I’m just… I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve you worrying about me. I deserve a lot worse from you, from everypony in town, so I don’t understand why you’re being so nice to me. Not after all the things I did to hurt you and your loved ones.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Listen, I forgave and became friends with Discord, and he did far, far worse than you ever did.”
“But why?”
“Because I’ve been there before. I’ve made horrible mistakes. I’ve used dark magic to hurt my friends. My apprentice has done horrible things with dark magic as well. But they gave me and her a second chance, a chance to improve to grow, to become better. I want to do the same for anypony else who needs it.”
“But… you sound like you’re not even worried about why I’m here?”
Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “I’ll admit, if you had shown up out of the blue, wanting to get forgiveness for your actions, I might have been a bit mistrusting of your motives, but I’d still want to help you. Thanks to Pinkie and Applejack though, I know why you’re here, what has happened to you, and the fact that I want to do everything in power to help you recover. Nopony should feel that lonely, not even you.”
It must have been raining inside because I could feel water running down my cheeks. I rubbed at them and my eyes. Hearing those words of kindness, they somehow made me feel worse. Like all the pain that I didn’t want to think about was bubbling up to the surface. All the things I had to do to survive after Ponyville, all the lonely nights, the times I spent sleeping in dumpsters, the horrible things I had to do for money or food. The numerous crimes I’d committed. I could never tell her about all of them, I knew she wouldn’t understand, but the fact that she was willing to be kind to me, to tell me that even I deserved some goodness… it was too much to handle.
A warm leg wrapped around my back and I felt myself being pulled forward into Twilight’s chest. A pair of wings enveloped me and warmth fell over me. It was like my entire body was in a cocoon of warmth, of caring, of kindness. I didn’t know what to do but I buried my face into Twilight’s fur and did my best to keep my voice quiet as the bottled up pain escaped.
I came here expecting to find enemies who would hate me even after I apologized, but I found something better. A caring and kind pony who was willing to embrace me for who I was, and who I could be. A pony who was more than I thought she’d ever be.
Twilight spoke in a voice as soft as silk but warm as a hearth on a cold winter night. “I’m your friend, Trixie. So go ahead and let it all out.”
It was at that point that my bottled up pain broke out and I couldn’t stop the sobbing as it crawled out of my lungs. I knew I was broken inside, but until I was faced with this pony’s kindness, I hadn’t realized just how broken I really was. Maybe there was more going on to cause these nightmares, but I couldn’t figure that out right then. I just needed to be held, and I was the luckiest mare in the world to have ponies that cared about me there to support me.
***
We’d all moved into a little cozy room in one of the side chambers. It had an actual carpet, soft couches, bookshelves, and other assorted knickknacks that made it feel less like an oppressive empty castle and a lot more like a place ponies would actually live. It helped me calm down a lot. Looking at Twilight who sat on the couch opposite of mine I felt a little bad about crying all over her like that.
Twilight was still speaking, “I see why you’d come here to try and get rid of those nightmares. Maybe if it was just once, it would be okay, but being a recurring dream like that sounds dangerous. The fact that Luna can’t enter your dreams makes it more concerning. I fear maybe the Alicorn Amulet left some invisible scars.”
I nodded. “I’m worried about that too. I feel happy at the farm most of the time, I mean sure I’ll never get to live out my destiny, but at least I’m safe and happy there.”
Applejack tilted her hat down. “Ah don’t reckon that’s a bad thing, but Ah don’t reckon it’s a good one either.”
I looked at her. So did Pinkie. Before I could ask, Pinkie spoke. “Why wouldn’t that be a good thing? My families great to be around.”
Applejack looked at her. “Would you have been happy staying on the farm all yer life, never coming to Ponyville, never getting to party, even with as great as the pies are, would you still be happy?”
Pinkie looked away and at the coffee table. She picked up her drink, it was the same spicy tea that Twilight had made for us. She looked into it and gave it a timid sip before finally saying, “No, I wouldn’t be. I might not… well, I’m just glad I have all of you here now.”
Twilight agreed. “Trixie’s cutie mark is in magic, storytelling and illusions if I recall correctly. She’s born to be a talented stage magician. I don’t think anypony should have to be forced to ignore their destiny.”
Applejack nodded. “That’s what Ah meant. If’n Trixie’s not happy, maybe it’s because she’s not able to do the things that make her feel alive? Ah know if Ah’d not be able to work on mah farm or be with mah family Ah’d be a right mess.”
Twilight nodded. “I’ll have to think about that one, I can’t stand to see somepony not living out their lives to the fullest and unable to do the thing that makes them special… it’ll take time though. For now I want to make sure her heart is okay.” She looked directly at me. “That your heart is okay.”
I took a sip of my tea. It was spicy but had a sweet and almost numbing after taste. I’d suggest there was alcohol in this if I didn’t know better. “Your friends thought my attempt at apologizing was a joke though. So I don’t know how I’m going to be able to say sorry.”
Twilight leaned back and using her telekinesis she lifted her cup to her mouth and drank. She lowered it just enough to talk after a second. “It’s going to be a bit rough, they might not accept your apology at first, but I’m sure we can bring them around with some effort. It might take a few days though.”
I looked over at Pinkie. She’d mentioned it was going to take two or three days before. I hadn’t believed her at the time but now I was starting to realize what she meant. Unfortunately Maud had to leave for work reasons and her strength above all was something I relied on in times of hardship. Turned out maybe I relied on her too much as I just felt so weak now. Still, knowing Twilight wanted to help was a huge boon.
Twilight spoke again. “Trixie, where are you staying while you’re here?”
I glanced at Pinkie. “I’m not entirely sure, I was hoping to be able to get this all wrapped up in one day, but as you said it might take awhile.”
Pinkie smiled. “I only have one bed, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” She winked at me and I could feel my entire body growing warm. She wasn’t planning on anything illicit was she? I mean sure, I really liked her, she always knew exactly what I needed to cheer up, she had the kind of curves to die for despite eating nothing but cupcakes, and I could never understand what was on her mind. Yet, I didn’t think we were ready to jump into something too intense just yet.
I’d want a chance to unravel the mystery that was Pinkie Pie first. Unlike anypony else I’d ever met where I could figure out there motives and what they were thinking. Pinkie was this impossible mystery of cheer and sunshine that I needed to understand. Even though I didn’t think I ever would, I wanted to try. After I understood her more I might be willing to explore those curves of hers with a more hooves on approach.
Pinkie was also the only pony who seemed to really understand how lonely and empty somepony could feel. Limestone didn’t get it, she kept calling me sad when I wasn’t. Marble was too meek to ever really keep up with me and was far too fragile so I was afraid even words could break her. Maud was pure safety but that safety also meant she wasn’t able to explore why I felt the way I did. Pinkie on the other hoof was spontaneous, mysterious, and able to understand me on a level few ponies could.
Twilight glanced at the two of us. “Um… maybe I have another suggestion?”
I glanced at Twilight. “O-oh?”
Twilight nodded. “I have a lot of guest rooms here. You can stay with us at the castle. It’s not like Pinkie doesn’t spend most of her free time here anyway. And having you here means Pinkie can do her day job without any… distractions.”
Pinkie was still staring at me. “I was planning to have distractions with you all day and night.”
I felt myself sit up straight. “Um, um, um well you see, as nice as that might be, I’m um… I’d really like to see the castle so maybe I should sleep here.”
Pinkie Pie groaned. “Ohhhh…. That’s not fair!”
Twilight cleared her throat. “Relax, Pinkie. There’s plenty of time for ‘distractions’ later on. Right now just help Trixie feel better. Besides, now that me and her are on speaking terms, I’d like to get to know her better myself.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Twilight.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I know how persistent Pinkie can be.”
“I meant about getting to know me.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Oh, of course, that’s what I meant too. Haha… uh, more tea anypony?”
With that awkward conversation and the question of where I’d be sleeping at finally answered I felt like maybe it was getting time to figure out a battle plan for how to apologize to Rainbow Dash and Rarity. I know they must have held some grudge against me for my actions, though if I was being entirely honest, with my spotty memory I had a hard time remembering exactly what it was I did to either of them when I wore the amulet, but I suspect public humiliation from our first encounter was enough to warrant lifelong grudges. I couldn’t imagine how much work Rarity had to put into fixing her mane after I destroyed it…
I wondered if I setting myself up for some kind of horrible failure, even with the others help, I just didn’t see a way that Rarity or Rainbow Dash could forgive me.
Well at least there was a plan, even if it wasn’t a very creative one. With Applejack and Pinkie by my side we traveled through the town. Despite my earlier fears, it seemed ponies here didn’t seem to recognize me. I suppose without my cape and hat I wasn’t the great and powerful magician, I was just another unicorn.
The first pony we were going after was Rainbow Dash, I wasn’t sure why Pinkie was so deadest on going after her first but I accepted it. So far Pinkie’s had an unnatural knowledge of what was to come, even if she herself couldn’t exactly tell me what was going to happen. Going against those instincts just seemed like a mistake.
It wasn’t long before we reached the edge of the town and found ourselves staring off into the long grassy fields where hills rolled on endlessly with sparse forests here and there. I was still trying to get used to all the color around town after living on the farm with only varying shades of gray for so long.
A few clouds drifted lazily up in the sky. It took me a moment to remember that up north pegasi usually were in charge of pushing clouds around or creating wind currents for them to travel on. Down on the farm any clouds we did get were random and seemed to move with unnatural wind currents. Then again I don’t think there was even a single pegasus in the village nearby the rock farm.
Pinkie Pie was looking up at the clouds. Applejack soon followed her gaze. I followed last and saw that on one cloud in particular there seemed to be a blue pegasus laying on it taking a nap. Applejack shook her head, “Ain’t she supposed to be working right now?”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “That’s our Rainbow, lazy as ever.”
Rainbow Dash called out from the cloud up above them. “HEY! I’m not lazy!”
Rainbow Dash burst through the cloud she was lying on and flew towards us with a rainbow trail following her. She landed only a few feet away from us with such speeds that I could hardly keep up with her eyes alone. Once firmly on the ground she shook herself and yawned. “Okay, maybe I’m a little bit lazy.”
Pinkie Pie replied, “Yeppers. How was your nap?”
Rainbow rubbed at her eyes. “Not good enough. Need more sleep, but I’ll survive, I’m kinda awesome like that.” Her eyes drifted over to me and narrowed. “What is she doing here?”
I took a step back. This was far from the warm reception that Twilight had given me. Pinkie Pie was quick to answer. “I already told you girls what Trixie was doing here.”
Rainbow Dash cocked her head to the side. “Wait, you were serious about that? Geeze… I thought you were trying to prank us or something.”
Pinkie put a hoof on my shoulder and squeezed gently. “Go on, Trixie. I’m sure Rainbow Dash will hear you out.”
I swallowed. It was now or never. I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t deserve to be. Not after all the pain I’d put these ponies through. However, I was also tired, so tired. I wanted to sleep again, like really honestly sleep. I wanted to have good dreams, maybe about Pinkie. I’d do anything to get rid of these nightmares and to make myself feel whole again. Whatever was left of my pride had long since been left in the same dumpster as my hopes and dreams.
I could hear my voice wavering as I spoke. “I’m sorry. For everything I’ve done to hurt you, especially when I was wearing that cursed amulet, I’m sorry.”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “That’s all? Do you even remember what you did?”
I shook my head. “I can’t remember most of what happened when I had the amulet on, it’s like this horrible nightmare that happened but only parts of it I can recall… I’m sure I did something horrible to you, and I’m really, truly sorry for it.”
Rainbow Dash marched up to me. I tried to back pedal away but she grabbed my head in both o her hooves and forced me to look directly into her magenta eyes. She had such a serious expression, and something hidden beneath that, something I didn’t want to see. For a long moment she stared at me, forcing me to make eye contact.
Applejack spoke, her words hardly reaching me as I looking into that serious expression. “Rainbow Dash, let her go. Yer scaring her.”
Rainbow Dash let me go and I quickly retreated back and around Applejack. I couldn’t even look at Rainbow Dash. My heart was racing and I could feel my body shaking. I was terrified of her, yet that wasn’t all. I was ashamed. I was so ashamed of myself, I used to be stronger than this. I used to be able to challenge such threatening looks head on without fear. Where had all my power gone, where was all my confidence?
Rainbow Dash walked away. “I forgave Gilda, and she broke my heart. You on the other hoof, you only hurt me. I’ll forgive you, Trixie. Just don’t do anything stupid or bad again.”
I was shaking in my hiding place. It took all my effort to reply, “I-I-I w-wont.”
Rainbow Dash glanced back and I saw her look at me. The serious expression was gone, replaced by a softer look but one I disliked just as much; pity. I was being pitied. In the back of my mind I could feel an old itchy feeling, one that wanted to rage against her for daring to pity me. Yet it was only a small feeling, and was quickly replaced by the realization that I had truly fallen into something that could only be pitied. I wasn’t a threat to anypony anymore, I was hardly even an annoyance. I was just the trash somepony had forgotten to throw out… maybe I should throw myself away, get out of everyponies mane once and for all.
Rainbow Dash spread her wings and flew back up to her cloud. I guess that was it then. I’d apologized to two ponies. Now I just had one more left. Surely Rarity, the element of generosity would be easier to deal with. I mean all I did to her was mess up her mane once right?
Applejack offered her hoof and I took it. With a little help up to my hooves again she looked back toward the town. “Alright, let’s go meet Rarity and get this over with.”
***
It wasn’t too much longer before we were all traveling to a little boutique in the middle of town. From the outside I couldn’t see in due to the thick red curtains that obscured sight from the windows. Applejack was the first one to enter with Pinkie following next. I walked in and the first thing I noticed was the smell of spice. Off to the side I could see some scented candles burning away. The room wasn’t dark like I imagined it would be with no sunlight. The lights in the ceiling provided more than ample light to see from. From inside it seemed every single wall was covered by a deep red curtain. A few mannequins stood with some of the most beautifully crafted dresses I’d ever seen.
In the corner I saw a mare with snow white fur and a curly purple mane. She was studying a dress as she held it aloft in a blue telekinetic aura, twisting and turning it to see the details. She had a pair of glasses which must have been for seeing the kinds of details that normal ponies would gloss over. She let out a sigh, gently set the dress down on a nearby table and took her glasses off laying them next to it.
Rarity spoke with a voice that was the very definition of grace. “Darling, could you do me a favor and ask Twilight if she still has that fabric I loaned her last week? I suspect I’ll need it to finish this piece.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Maybe. If you answer my question first. Why weren’t you at the castle with Twilight today?”
Rarity glanced over and looked at Pinkie. “Because as much as I love you, I’ve got a business to run. I can’t jump at one of your… events every time you have one.”
Pinkie’s ears folded back a little. “But, I explained how important this was to me.”
“You did, but what you’re suggesting is so preposterous that even I cannot take you serious. Trixie, wanting to apologize.” Rarity scoffed. “No, I think not. That kind of pony doesn’t understand the concept of it.”
I stepped forward. “I think I do, and for what it’s worth, I am sorry.”
Rarity’s eyes snapped onto me like a dagger at the throat of a king. Her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. I could sense danger and hatred running off this mare like a river of blood. Her breathing had changed to a steady, heavier breathing as if she was preparing to battle.
Rarities words hit me like few had today. “What is ‘that’ doing in my house?”
Pinkie Pie looked around. “There’s something in your house other than us? Did we let a parasprite in by mistake?”
Rarity growled. “She’s as bad as one.”
Pinkie Pie was still looking around. “She? What did we let into your house?”
I lowered my head. “She’s talking about me, Pinkie.”
Pinkie Pie gasped. “No she isn’t. Rarity is one of the best ponies I know, she’d never treat anyone like that.”
Rarity growled. “It’s telling the truth, Pinkie. I’m talking about that disgrace of a unicorn you just let my home. Now get her out of here before I do.”
Pinkie shot a glare at Rarity. “Take that back.”
“I refuse.”
Pinkie took a step forward. “Trixie is here to say sorry, and you’re being awful to her. I explained how important this is to me. Why are you being so awful?”
I was staring at my own hooves by then. I couldn’t look up and see that mare’s hatred, it was too much to handle. “Because I ruined her mane and made her look silly in front of the crowd. It was wrong of me.”
Rarity spat words of venom. “That’s not it you, you, you feather brained monster! It’s because you forced me and my sister to work for you until our hooves bled from the effort. You turned us and random children into slaves, and every single thing you forced us to make you burned in front of us just to watch our spirits die. If it had just been me, maybe, just maybe I might be willing to forgive you one day, but that was my baby sister you hurt!”
I looked up at her, panic began to swallow my heart. I didn’t remember doing that. Was that what I did when I was under the effects of the alicorn amulet? Did Pinkie know I did such a horrible evil thing and not tell me about it? There was no way that Rarity could forgive me, in fact I was surprised she hadn’t stabbed me for walking through her door.
I turned around. I needed to leave. I did not belong here, no matter what Pinkie Pie said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know… I’ll leave you alone.”
I galloped to the door and burst through it. The last thing I heard was Applejack shouting, “Rarity, look what you’ve done.”
I ran. I ran for as long and as hard as I could. I ran until I was out of the town, until my muscles burned with the effort, until I was out of breath. It wasn’t until I found myself at the edge of a sudden cliff that I stopped. The moment I stopped running my exhaustion caught up with me and I collapsed. Everything hurt, my eyes from crying, my lungs from breathing, my body from running. I looked around but I had no idea where I had gotten too.
Behind me were some dense woods, in front of me a sheer cliff that landed into a dry river bed some hundred feet down. I really, really didn’t want to fall off this cliff. Yet some darker part of me, some scratching in the back of my brain was saying otherwise.
I could almost hear my nightmares whispering to me that one little hop, skip, or jump off this ledge would solve all of my problems. I wouldn’t have to be hurt anymore, I wouldn’t have to hurt others, I could just… go to sleep, forever.
I spent a long time lying there, staring off the cliff edge. The longer I stared the more this option seemed so easy, so perfect. I could just, tumble forward and never worry about anything again. My heart could finally take a break. That hollow void in my soul would be gone, along with me.
If I did that though, Limestone would probably yell at me for being stupid. Marble would probably cry. Pinkie… would never get the chance to take me out, not that I could believe she really wanted too. If I considered those things it didn’t seem so odd to me that maybe I should stay around a little longer.
I laid my head down. I was too tired to move anymore. Since I had no idea where the tartarus I was or how to get back, I figured I might need some shut eye. My body was already so heavy, all the time. Lying down and closing my eyes just came with such ease. For the first time in a long time I didn’t dream of those horrible nightmares, instead I was treated to something far worse.
***
Ever since the disaster zone that I left Ponyville in, I hadn’t been able to get a good job. Hadn’t even began to really heal yet. The memories of the horrors I had left behind were still fresh in my mind, even if I couldn’t recall everything, what I did remember had me horrified.
Still it seemed that this was the catalyst that got me to finally do the one thing I’d meant to do for so long now. I was going to see him. To talk to him. To maybe ask him for a job. It took every ounce of courage I had in me but I walked up to the office door and read the name plate on it.
“Jack Pot.” It was a simple name plate but one that had so much more weight to me considering who he was.
I raised my hoof and knocked on the door. A warm and welcoming voice replied from behind it. “Door’s open, come on in.”
With that invitation I knew it was too late to turn back now. For better or for worse I was in this for good now. I pushed the door open and saw him there, staring out of a nearby window. His blue fur, his striped white and silver mane. It matched mine to a tee. Even his eyes had the same color as mine. I couldn’t breathe, for a long moment I stood there staring at him. I had seen his photo a couple times, but it wasn’t until I’d done the research, until I broke into places I wasn’t allowed, that I finally figured out who he was, and realized that I wanted his attention.
If it wasn’t for him, I probably never would have become a stage magician in the first place.
He glanced at me and his eyes widened. “Tri- um, time to come in and take a seat, don’t you think?”
I nodded and walked inside. I took the seat facing his desk. He watched me with unsteady eyes. I couldn’t quite read what was in them. For a moment I felt like my lungs were swollen, like I couldn’t speak. Finally at length I got my courage up to say, “Hello, Jack Pot. My name is Trixie Lulamoon.”
He nodded. “Trixie Lulamoon, it’s a pleasure to meet you. How can I help you?”
I pulled a file out of my saddlebags. “Honestly, I’m not even sure. I just… maybe I just wanted to see you, talk to you. Ask for some advice.” I laid the file out on the desk and he glanced at it. It was clearly my adoption papers, showing who my parents were. My mom was dead, but my dad, my dad’s name was there clear as day, Jack Pot.
He narrowed his eyes at the paper and furrowed his brow. He slid the paper back to me. “I sincerely doubt you’re supposed to have access to this.”
“Yeah, well I wasn’t supposed to do a lot of things, this seemed the lesser of many evils.”
He met my eyes, but I didn’t see any warmth in them. There was just this coldness, the same kind of coldness I felt when anypony figured out I was connected to that incident in Ponyville. “So what do you want? Money? Fame?”
I shook my head as I took the paper back and slid it into my saddlebag. “I just wanted to meet you. You’re my dad.”
He growled. “Just because I might have sired you does not mean I am your dad. Don’t you have real parents to go say hi to?”
I lowered my head. “They’re gone…”
“Well that sucks, but I’m not your dad. I’m just the sucker who gave your mom my genetic material in a night of passion. I’m sure there are many of you out there. Nixie, Pixie, go ask one of them if they have a dad you can talk to.”
I stared at him. “I have sisters?”
He growled. “No, their dead. Just like your folks. Just like I should be to you. If you’re here for money or for a hoofout, you should just leave. I don’t have much to offer you.”
I felt myself shaking. Of all the bad responses I thought I could get, this was the worst one. He hated me. He actually hated me. I was his child, and he hated me. From the moment he saw me, he knew who I was but his hatred of me was so strong that I couldn’t withstand it. How could anyone hate their child so much?
My words trembled out of my mouth. “I don’t want your money, maybe a job, but not anything-“
He put his hooves on his desk and rose up. “I would never offer something like you a job. You’ve destroyed your reputation. To a magician reputation is everything, and I’m sorry, kid, you’v e gone and ruined yours. You should try and find a more quiet life to live, maybe go work on a farm or something where you can hide.”
I jumped out of my seat. “I did that already! I’m supposed to be a magician. That’s what I was born to do. That’s who I am. Why should I have to hide?”
He glared daggers into my eyes. It was a look that I could never forget. One that I would see again every time I looked into a mirror for too long. “Because you’re a disaster. Getting out of everypony’s mane is the best you could hope to do in your state. Now if you’re done letting me berate you, leave, I have actually important business to attend to.”
I couldn’t stand it. It hurt so much. It was like he had cut my heart out with a jagged rusty knife. I turned and fled. Everything I was, everything I wanted to be, was based on him. Yet once I found him, it ruined everything.
***
I woke up with my eyes still wet from the dream. My heart still throbbed in pain. I was still on that mountain side. I sniffled but I didn’t weep. I’d cried enough for that stallion already, if he didn’t want me I could just, just… lay here forever. “Can’t I just throw myself off the cliff yet?”
Rainbow Dash’s voice cracked from next me. “Not unless you want me to catch you.”
I looked over at her. “Oh, it’s you.”
“Yeah it’s me.”
I looked back over the cliff. “I don’t deserve to be here.”
She was sitting nearby me and looking over the same cliff. “How come when I hear you say that, I don’t think you’re just talking about the town?”
“Because I’m not.”
She shook her head. “You know, Pinkie and Applejack would be devastated if you weren’t here. Applejack’s already lost her family, and Pinkie, Pinkie seems really attached to you.”
“Why would she care about something like me?”
Rainbow Dash leaned back. “I don’t know. I just know that after you ran out of Rarity’s, Pinkie was having a panic attack because she couldn’t find you. I don’t think I’d ever seen her so worked up. For her sake I promised to find you, but told her she had to go home before she wound up hurting herself.”
I stood up. “Is she okay?”
Rainbow Dash glanced at me and smiled. “Oh, so you do care? And here I was beginning to think you were heartless.”
“Answer me, is she okay?”
Rainbow Dash waived a hoof dismissively. “She’s fine. Worked up and stressed out but fine. She knows I always keep my promises, so if I swore I’d find you, I would find you.”
I looked back over the cliff. “I have no idea where I am.”
Rainbow Dash stood up and flexed her wings. “You ran pretty far, no wonder you passed out here. Must have been exhausted.”
“If you could point me back towards town I’ll go back to Pinkie.”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Nah, not gonna do that.”
I glared at her. “Why? The longer I’m gone the more Pinkie will be upset.”
Rainbow Dash leaned down and spread her wings. “That’s why I’m taking you to her myself. Now get on, I don’t exactly want anypony seeing me give someone a ride. They all think I’m too cool for that you know.”
I stared at Rainbow Dash’s back. So long as she was promising a faster way back to Pinkie Pie, I would take it. I also didn’t like the thoughts that were creeping into my head each time I looked over the edge of the cliff. I clambered up and in just a flash we were off.
By the time we were back in town the sun had already began to set. I thought Rainbow Dash was supposed to be the fastest flier in Equestria, but I suppose carrying my weight must have been awkward for her. I wasn’t exactly fat, but working on the farm had me with a few more muscles, and muscles were kinda heavy. The moment I saw the town I felt the uneasiness in my heart lesson just a bit.
We were almost there. Almost back to Pinkie Pie. I had to make up for this. It was my fault she was so distressed, I couldn’t just leave things the way they had been. Whatever I had to do, I would do it for her.
We swooped down toward the Sugarcube Corner and Rainbow Dash landed on the balcony with a bit of an hefty drop. She laid down and looked at me. “This is your stop, don’t get lost now.”
I watched her as I got off her back. “How could I get lost from up here?”
Rainbow Dash flexed her wings once more. Jumped into the air and said, “Weirder things have happened.”
I watched her fly away into the distance. For a long moment I didn’t want to actually go inside. Going in meant I would have to face up to my mistake, to my sin of hurting Pinkie. Yet, if I didn’t go in, Pinkie wouldn’t ever be at rest. I sucked in a nervous breathe and slid the door open.
I walked in as quietly as I could. The first thing I heard was silence, it was deftly quiet in here. It took am moment but my ears adjusted to hear the soft sounds of a muffled whimper. I looked over the edge to see Pinkie Pie lying face down into her bed, her face buried into her pillow. The pillow was wet with tears. Oh Celestia, how long had she been like this for?
I ran down the stairs and galloped to Pinkie’s side. “Pinkie, I’m okay!”
Pinkie Pie looked over at me. Her beautiful blue eyes were stained red and snot ran down her face. “No, you’re not. If you were, you wouldn’t have run away. I’m sorry, it’s my fault that you got hurt.”
I shook my head. “Rarity made her own choices. You tried your best, that’s all that matters. I’m the one who’s sorry, because I hurt you by running away like that.”
Pinkie Pie buried her face back into the pillow and sobbed. All I could do was reach out and pet her back. It wasn’t much but I could feel her muscles relax as I stroked her. God, we hadn’t even started dating and I was a horrible marefriend. At this point if she didn’t want to date me anymore, I was okay with that. I didn’t deserve it.
It took awhile but Pinkie began to cry less and her body grew relaxed. I had stayed fairly quiet as I stroked her back. When she rolled over to look at me, her face a damp mess of tears I saw something I couldn’t believe. I saw a smile. Pinkie’s next words hit me like a train. “Because of the dreams you’ve been having, I thought might have… taken your life…”
Fear shot through my veins like razor blades and sunk deep into my heart. I stared at her, making eye contact. She was a sobbing mess because she thought I was dead… My life actually mattered to her. I lowered my head. “I… I won’t lie, the thought had crossed my mind, but I don’t think I would actually… you know?”
Pinkie shook her head. “It’s the fact that the thought crossed your mind that scares me.”
I had to make this right. This was my fault. “I… I promise I won’t do something like that. I won’t run away again.”
The door opened from behind me and I heard two ponies entering the room. It must have been Applejack and Maud, I would have to apologize to them too. I turned and already began to say, “I’m sorry.”
I saw Rarity and Twilight standing there. Rarity was glaring at me. She took several steps toward me and I could tell from the look in her eyes she was not here for a polite conversation. Each step she took I grew increasingly scared. I didn’t know what she was going to do to me, ponies had already hurt me plenty in the past, no evil seemed unlikely at this point.
I managed to speak in spite of my fear. “Please don’t. F-for Pinkie’s sake, please.”
She stopped a few feet away and I could feel the venom in her words. “You broke her heart.”
I was shaking all over again. “I-I didn’t mean too. I’m trying to d-do better.”
She took another step toward me and I flinched. “You coward!”
Twilight’s words cut in with a very warning tone. “Rarity.”
Rarity didn’t give her even a moment of her attention as her eyes drilled hate filled holes into mine. “You, what happened to you? You used to be a proud unicorn, maybe too much so, but you had something. Now your shivering, and look like you’re about to make a mess of Pinkie’s clean floors.”
I tried to retaliate but the look in her eyes. I had never seen such intense anger before, even Applejack’s mistrust of me on the farm hadn’t been this bad. “I-I wouldn’t, I haven’t ever-“
“YOU!” Rarity shouted as she shoved a hoof toward me.
I fell backwards onto my back and felt my entire body growing tense. I just wanted to crawl into the fetal position and never move again. “I said I was sorry.”
Rarity took another step towards me. “I know.”
A red aura surrounded Rarity and she was dragged back a few feet giving me some breathing room. Twilight’s voice was calm but carried severe weight to it. “Rarity, what did you come here for?”
Rarity growled. “I know.”
“Then say your piece and leave.”
Rarity shot the glare back at Twilight then looked back at me. “Fine, I’ll forgive you Trixie. Based only on the good word of my friends, and how they have explained to me that you are trying your best to turn a new leaf. I will forgive you. But do not come anywhere near my home or my family again.”
I nodded.
Rarity spun around, flicked her tail dismissing me and walked away. Once she was out the door Twilight closed it behind her and shook her head. “I’m sorry about that Trixie, she seemed so calm about trying to talk to you until the moment she saw you here. Maybe it was seeing Pinkie that set her off… Still I’ll talk to her. She forgives you at least, right?”
I nodded. “Y-yeah.” With a bit of effort I rolled over and sat up.
Pinkie’s words came out quietly, so quiet I almost missed them. “If you don’t want to date me anymore, I’ll understand.”
I looked at her, she had closed her eyes and buried her muzzle into her blanket. I gently reached out and stroked her cheek with a hoof. “Why would I ever say no to dating you?”
“Because I won’t be a good marefriend. I can’t even protect you when somepony is being mean… how can you expect me to be there for you at all?”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to protect me. Just be there for me in my quiet moments, that’s all I ask.”
She opened one big blue eye at me. “Is that really okay?”
I nodded. “Of course it is.”
She closed her eye again. “Okay. I’ll be there in your quiet moments to make you feel loved.”
I leaned over, I wasn’t sure what I was doing but it felt right. My lips gently met Pinkie’s forehead and I felt her body go tense for a moment before completely relaxing. When I pulled back she was staring up at me with two beautiful blue eyes and her face seemed to be a deeper shade of pink then before, was she blushing?
I glanced over and saw Twilight’s cheeks completely flushed with pink and her hooves held up to her mouth. “Oh my Celestia, that’s so cute!”
It was then that I realized some things really didn’t need an audience even if I was a stage magician at heart. I nervously scratched the back of my head. “It’s nothing, just thought Pinkie could use some TLC.”
Twilight nodded. “You girls will be so cute together! I wish Rarity would see that sooner.”
That made me feel just a little bit down. I wish Rarity could see it too, but I accepted that she might never understand it. So long as she learned to respect Pinkie’s choice, then maybe things would turn out okay. I could at least ask for that right? At the very least I had finally gotten what I’d come here for, I had apologized to everypony. Maybe I could finally get some sleep for once… yet why did my heart still feel so empty?
Twilight’s next words were sure to keep me distracted. “Now that we’ve gotten you’re apologized taken care of, let’s do some experiments.”
I stared right at her. “Experiments!”
“Yep, gonna take that brain apart and figure out why you’re still suffering from after effects of the Alicorn Amulet.”
I shot a dirty look at her. “Twilight, be careful with the use of that word. I thought you meant something completely different by ‘experiment’.”
Pinkie chimed in. “Oh, we could do that kind of experimenting later. I’m sure Twilight would love to.”
Twilight looked between us. “Um… I think I’m missing something.”
I lowered my head once more, but at least I was smiling. Looked like things were returning to normal again at last. Pinkie could make jokes, Twilight could be completely ignorant of the world, and I could… exist somewhere in between them.
Well, turns out being strapped to a chair with a slightly demented unicorn dominating me was not as fun as it sounded at first. Probably due to the fact that all she wanted to do was study my brain using weird magic that made my brain feel ticklish. The looks she gave me when I laughed were mortifying to say the least, you’d have thought I’d had wet myself or something.
Twilight let her magic die off and gave out a sigh. I wanted to turn my head to look at her but my head was strapped into an unmoving position. I felt the straps being released one by one. Once free I leapt off the chair and turned to face her.
Twilight wasted no time in explaining her findings. “Well it’s about what I figured, but I’m going to require more help to fix it.”
“What did you find?”
“The Alicorn Amulet has damaged some of your memories, mostly those closest to when you first put it on and took it off. It also has a stranglehold over your mana lobe.”
I blinked. “My… what?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You did go to the same magic school that I did, right?”
I waived a hoof. “Of course I did, but biology was not one of my strong suits…” Unless one counted studying attractive mares and their bodies.
Twilight smiled. “The mana lobe, is the organ in our brain that gives everypony magic. It is directly connected to our cutie marks as well as our dreams. I suspect it has hindered your magical abilities.”
I blinked. “But… I don’t feel that weak, I can turn invisible for a full six seconds.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Six… seconds. With your mana lobe that damaged…” she put a hoof to her chin. “Once we heal your mana lobe you might very well be able to stay invisible for hours in that case.”
“Is my magic really that damaged?”
Twilight met my eyes. “Remember when you first challenged Rainbow Dash on stage. You were able to create a lightning bolt that stunned her, later that night you created one powerful enough to actually harm an Ursa Minor, albeit only by a little but still a feat none the less. After you were done wearing the amulet you attempted to fire another lightning bolt at Rainbow Dash but that time it was only enough to tickle her. There was a significant decrease in your magic potential.”
“So… So I’m actually supposed to be good at magic?”
Twilight walked over to me and put a hoof on my shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. “Trixie, you are good at magic. Rarity couldn’t hope to become invisible or to lift as much with her telekinesis. The fact is that you are already good, but you could become even more ‘great and powerful’ if that’s right phrase.”
Hearing her use my catchphrase, it almost hurt but it also made me feel warm inside. I knew I was tearing up already so I looked away and tried to change the topic just a bit. “So how do we heal it?”
“Like I said, I’m going to need help. Luna is much more versed in the magic of dealing with one’s mind than I am. It will take a little bit of time but I’m sure we can heal you.”
I nodded. At this point at least I had a plan to try and get this fixed. So I’d apologized to everypony, I had a plan to fix my broken mind, everything should be fine now. Yet, somehow I felt that something was still missing. No matter how I racked my brain, I couldn’t figure out what it was.
Twilight added. “There is one more thing. The side effects of the amulet are preventing Luna from entering your dreams from a distance. She’ll have to be a lot closer to do so. So I’ll reach out to her and see when she’s able to come over to help.”
I smiled. “I apologized to everypony, I don’t think I’ll have nightmares anymore.”
“We can hope.”
After that Twilight took me downstairs so we could eat dinner. Eating dinner with her and spike was interesting. I even got to hear about Twilight’s apprentice, a mare named Starlight Glimmer. Her track record for villainy made mine pale in comparison. If Starlight could come back from such a thing, maybe I could too.
After dinner we went to bed. Well at least I did. I’m sure that Twilight stayed up studying, I suspected the mare never actually slept. The bed was as comfy as could be, it was like it was made out of clouds it was so fluffy.
As the weight of sleep deprivation laid upon me I heard voices outside my door. They sounded far away but I recognized them. It was Twilight and Rarity.
Twilight spoke first. “Rarity, you really need to forgive her. None of are free of mistakes.”
Rarity scoffed. “Well at least I made up for mine.”
“What do you think she’s trying to do here? Really, Rarity, we’ve already talked about this, between that one time in Manehatten and when you used that magic book to ‘Rarify’ the entire town, you of all ponies should have more sympathy.”
Rarity’s voice changed slightly. “I, I know.”
“Maybe you’re not even mad at her, maybe you’re mad at yourself. Because even after the alicorn amulet incident you ended up doing the same things as-“
Rarity cut her off. “Stop, just stop, Twilight. Please, I’m trying okay. This is really hard for me darling, and I’m trying so hard to not be so full of hate but…”
“But what?”
“I think I spent too much time thinking about her as nothing but this powerful evil force that seeing her like this, it’s insulting. This isn’t Trixie, its some pathetic imitation.”
Twilight’s tone turned serious. “She’s not pathetic.”
“Then why hasn’t she challenged me even once. She’s just rolled over and taken everything I’ve said or done. I could tell her the truth and she’d just accept it like some kind of-“
“Victim.”
“I was going to say weakling.”
I heard them the begin to walk away. “Rarity, I need your help on this. We all do. Trixie’s hurt in ways even I don’t know how to fix.”
Rarity’s voice replied, it was further away but I could hear something different in it. Something vulnerable, something weak. “Yeah, and I fear it may all be my fault.”
After the voices disappeared sleep came over me and washed me away into the dark embrace of rest. Maybe for once, I would get good dreams.
***
Once more I found myself standing on my stage. Performing such feats of wonder and magic that nopony in the audience could be left with anything but awe. At least that was true until the four ponies of nightmare appeared once more before me. This time they jumped onto the stage and faced me. I stared back.
Rarity nodded at the other two. Rainbow Dash spoke first. “You’re worthless, trying to pretend like your great, or powerful, give me a break. You’re nothing but a sick joke of a pony that is better left in the trash where you belong.”
Applejack stepped up. “Ah reckon a liar like you could never amount to much. Yer not even good enough to work on a rock farm.”
Twilight’s voice came in next. “Every bad thing that’s ever happened to you, you deserved. All the times you were hurt, bullied, or made fun of. All the times you lost a job. You deserved all of them.”
Rarity was the last one move. Her horn flickered to life and the curtain behind me was ripped off the wall. “You don’t need a stage, but I do need a new dress.”
I walked forward reaching out desperately for my curtain. “That’s expensive, please don’t rip it. I can’t afford another one!”
She glared right into my eyes. “Didn’t I already tell you were garbage? Garbage like you really doesn’t need a curtain. But I really want a new dress and as a proper ‘real’ unicorn I deserve one.”
An invisible force hit me in the chest knocking me backward. I rolled several times before I stopped. I looked up and saw Jack Pot standing there. “What did I tell you? I told you to stop trying and go work on a farm. It’s about all your good for.”
I couldn’t process this. It was all too much. My heart was breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. As I looked down at my chest I saw an open hole there with black liquid seeping out. My heart was gone. I looked back up to see my heart in Jack Pot’s hoof. He handed it to Rarity.
Rarity smiled. “Oh that will make a wonderful component in my dress.”
“No, please, I need that.”
Rarity glared at me. “No, you need to die, Trixie. That’s all you need.”
***
Something was shaking me. I woke up to see Twilight shaking my side. “Wake up, Trixie. Please wake up.”
I pushed her hooves away. I sniffled and tried to speak. “W-why?”
Twilight had a pale look on her face. “I heard you crying. You looked horrible. I… I couldn’t let you stay like that. Are you okay?”
For a moment I looked around the room. I was still in Twilights’ castle. The light was on and the door was open. Spike stood just outside the door looking in at me. Even he looked worried. I closed my eyes. I was so tired. So, so tired. I could feel hot tears running down the side of my face.
A pair of warm legs wrapped me up into an embrace, followed quickly by those wings that cocooned me into the warmest hug I’d ever felt. I leaned my face into Twilight’s chest and quietly let the tears roll into her. “I’m so tired.”
Twilight’s words came out gentle as could be. “I know, Trixie. I know you are. That’s why I’m having Luna come here tomorrow to help you out. We’re not leaving you behind this time. I promise.”
I sniffled. I was just so tired. I couldn’t help it, my body was already so heavy, that when I leaned into Twilight and closed my eyes, my mind fogged over. Everything went dark, and I just slipped off into sleep once more. At least this time, I didn’t have any dreams, no nightmares, no memories, just darkness. Peaceful, wonderful darkness.
When I opened my eyes again all I saw was purple fur. My entire body felt warm, still wrapped up in that cocoon of warm fur and feathers. For a moment I just wanted to continue lying there like that.
Twilight’s voice came out in a hushed whisper. “For the last time, Pinkie. I am not ‘moving onto your turf’ She fell asleep like this and I don’t have the heart to wake her.”
Pinkie’s voice replied in a hushed whisper. “I still don’t like it, why didn’t you get me to come here and take your place, so I’m the one cuddling her.”
Twilight replied. “Because you’re attracted to her and I don’t trust you not to… um… what I mean is, it might be too easy for you to get a little too cozy with her when she’s vulnerable like this.”
Pinkie let out an aggravated sigh. “Whatever, I’m not leaving until she’s awake and safely out of your thieving embrace.”
Twilight groaned. “Pinkie, you’re being jealous.”
“Yes, yes I am.”
I gently pushed myself up and out of Twilight’s embrace. Looking around Apparently Twilight had been sitting next to me holding me while I slept. Sunlight was drifting through the window. Yet I still felt exhausted and tired. At least I wasn’t in threat of passing out this time.
I looked at Pinkie. “Pinkie, it’s okay to be jealous, but Twilight was helping me.”
“I coulda helped too ya know!”
I smiled at her. “Yes, but I might be tempted to do other things than sleep with you around. At least this way I make sure all I do is sleep.”
Pinkie looked at the floor for a moment. Then replied, “That’s… a good point. We might have too much fun for you to sleep, and you do look really tired. So long as all you’re going to do is sleep, then… I’ll accept it.”
“Thank you, Pinkie. You really are the best.”
Pinkie’s cheeks grew a bit darker in shade. “I am the best, aren’t I?”
I looked at Twilight. “Sorry about causing a scene.”
Twilight shook her head. “No it’s all good. We’ve got things prepared downstairs. Luna’s here and she knows exactly how to fix this. Lucky for you, all you need to do is sleep, the rest of us will do the hard work.”
“Rest of who?”
Twilight smiled. “Why, the Elements of Harmony of course!”
I stood in the map room with Twilight by my side. Aside from her I also saw Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and even Rarity. The latter of which had her nose stuck up in the air. There was a single bed placed in here. Ignoring the stuck up unicorn for the moment I looked to Twilight.
“I only count five ponies here, isn’t there six elements of harmony?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes, but Fluttershy is currently out on some kind of expedition to see some exotic animals.”
“Hmm, okay, but what are you five going to do to help me with my nightmares. Clearly apologizing hasn’t worked.”
The doors leading the map room opened and I heard a majestic voice that filled the air. “That is why I’m here, little one.”
I looked back and saw the massive form of Princess Luna walking into the map room. Her mane was long, so long it trailed behind her on the ground yet seemed to never quite touch the earth as if it repelled anything that might dare soil it. The mane itself was like staring into the dark blue night sky with stars twinkling throughout. The closer she got to me the more I realized the difference in our size was substantial.
Once she had gotten within a few feet of me I could feel a cool energy rolling off of her. It was calming and made me feel a little sleepy. She looked down and met my eyes with a smile. “Hello, Trixie. I’ve long since wanted a meeting with you, I have many questions about your experiences but I will save the pleasantries for later. For now I wish to help you with your dreams.”
Twilight added. “See, everypony is here to help you.”
Rarity muttered under her breathe but just loud enough for us to hear. “Not everypony.”
Luna looked at Rarity. “Rarity, we need your assistance with this. I believe we all stand to learn something positive from this experience.”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, like what?”
Luna smiled but it came off cold. “Like how every action has consequences, and we may not always see where, why, or how those consequences will play out.”
Rarity huffed. “Fine, I am sure this will be some sort of learning experience, but regardless if my friends need me I will be there for them. Let’s stop wasting time and get to work already.”
Hearing Rarity’s disregard for me only made that empty feeling in my chest expand. I tried to ignore the darker thoughts coming through, but they weren’t going away. Maybe I agreed with one part of her sentiment, we should stop wasting time and get this ball rolling, I didn’t want to be in her presence any longer than I had too.
I felt a leg wrap over my back and pull me into an embrace. Pinkie had snuck up to my side and hugged me. I leaned into her. She whispered softly. “We’re going to fix you, I promise.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Pinkie. Thank you, everypony.”
With that said it was time to start. Luna had me climb up and onto the bed as everypony circled me. I was apparently supposed to fall asleep like this. Impossible considering how close that meanie head Rarity was to me. I could hear her frustration through her nostrils.
Luna started to sing and with every word I felt my body growing heavy, numb, and utterly relaxed. “Hush now, quiet now. It’s time to lay your sleepy head. Hush now, quiet now. It’s time to go to bed.”
By the time she said the word bed my entire body had gone numb and the voice trailed off and echoed as if I was going down a long tunnel. Everything became quiet for a long moment, darkness was all around me. Somehow this felt different, I felt awake, yet I knew I wasn’t in the map room anymore. Had they secretly teleported me? I didn’t care, I was so relaxed that I could lay like this forever.
I quickly became aware of something wrong and opened my eyes. I was on stage again. I pushed myself up but my muscles felt weak. The crowd was still here, but each one of them was hidden in a thick fog, only visible as an outline. How did I get here?
No, this must have been the dream. Yet I was awake inside the dream? How could that happen?
It didn’t matter as I heard voices in the fog. Voices I remembered and never wanted to hear again. Rarity’s voice played a melody of menace as it spoke. “Oh, look at that, the lazy unicorn is sleeping in the middle of the show.”
Rainbow Dash’s voice chimed in. “What’s the big deal, I can nap too. I’m not self centered enough to make ponies watch me as I do though.”
The four ponies began marching out of the fog and I saw them clear as day. Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were all there. I walked a few steps forward to greet them. I was awake this time, I wasn’t going to just stand for them being rude to me.
“I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, how dare you attack my show.”
Applejack hopped onto the stage. “Oh, come on now, ya can’t be calling this a show. It’s just you sleeping on a stage. Yer about as dumb as the ponies watching this crap.”
I glared at her. “If you don’t like it, you can always leave.”
Rainbow Dash leapt onto the stage next. “Why would we do that, it’s too fun to torment you.”
Rarity nodded at Twilight. With a flap of her wings Twilight was into the air and flying above us. “Everypony, look at how selfish she is. She wants us to praise her just for sleeping. Anypony can see how awful that is. As the princess of friendship, I ban her from being allowed to have any friends.”
I stared up at her. “You can’t do that!”
Twilight glared at me. “It’s already done. Thanks to your terrible show everypony in Equestria will know how awful you are.”
The ponies in the fog, my crowd all vanished one by one. “Please, no! Come back, I’ll be better, I’ll do better!”
Rarity walked up onto the stage. “No, you won’t. You messed up once, and that was enough for us to completely ruin you. If you really want to make amends though, there is an option.” She glanced at something behind me.
I turned around and saw a rope hanging with a noose from the top of the stage. “But, how did-“
Rarity added in. “It might be the only show worth watching that has you in it.”
I felt my eyes stinging. I knew she was probably right. After everything I’ve done, this was the only thing left for me. Still I couldn’t accept this. I had friends, I had family. I knew that I did. I glared back at her. “All I wanted to do was to run a magic show. Why do you four hate me so much?”
Applejack stated, “Because we don’t think you should be allowed to act all high and mighty when yer really a bunch of nothing.”
Rainbow Dash added, “Because I’m obviously cooler than you’ll ever be, so don’t even bother trying to be cool, cus you’ll always fall short.”
Twilight added, “Because if even your father abandons you, how could you be worth anypony’s attention, especially ours.”
Rarity finished, “Because you are not even worthy of being a unicorn. Not when you’re just a pathetic lying scumbag like yourself.”
I closed my eyes. “It’s just an act. I’m not really high and mighty, that’s just the character I play. You can’t be mad because I play a role on stage. You just can’t!”
Rarity jumped in close and I opened my eyes to look into hers. There was something there, a green tint I hadn’t seen before. It was like looking into the eyes of something strange, something evil, something real. “Trixie, you know that you can’t separate between a stage performance and real life. After all, we can’t. So you should be punished for the character you played, even if it isn’t real it’s against MY values. And for that you should only get to kill yourself.”
I took a step back. “N-no.”
Rarity’s horn lit up and my curtains were torn down with a furious green light. “You don’t’ deserve these when your show is so horrible.”
“NO! Stop, those are expensive, I can’t buy more! Please stop being mean to me!”
Rarity quickly turned it into a green dress with spikes and sharp cuts that she slipped one without even moving an inch. “Oh, this works much better for me than it ever did for you.”
Rainbow Dash stood at the edge of the stage. “Look at how much cooler I am! Stop paying attention to this mess and look at me do cool flying tricks!”
I shouted at her. “What are you doing? You’re not even an entertainer, why are you stealing my crowd?”
Applejack stood on the other edge. “Nope, listen to me, this filly is a liar, her tricks are just that, tricks. Ain’t worth yer time or money.”
I shouted as tears filled my vision. “My show is free! They don’t have to play me! Please, stop!”
Twilight’s horn lit up and a menacing red light filled the sky. “Trixie, if you aren’t going to be decent enough to kill yourself, then I’ll just have to help.”
I stared up at the light as it grew into a red ball floating in the sky. It was huge, it was as large as the sun. “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to hurt. I just want to be okay and have friends again, please, somepony, anypony, help me.”
In the distance, past the red sun forming just over Twilight’s horn I saw six black dots. They grew steadily larger in size as they approached. Rarity looked up and glared at them. “Outsiders, not on my watch. Trixie is my toy to torture.”
As the six red dots increased in size a green energy barrier rose around the area. The six dots vanished as the shield closed above us and I could feel something cold, dark, and malicious coat the inside of my skull. It was like some kind of fell slime that was washing over my brain, I felt like vomiting.
Rarity looked at me again with those green piercing eyes. “Time to suffer, you little ingrate.”
The red sun began to descend and Twilight was quickly absorbed by it. Pieces of wood began peeling off the stage and flying upwards toward it as if the red sun had its own gravitational pull. Even my mane was lifting upwards toward it as it took over the entire sky.
A lone figure jumped in front of me and I saw a blue aura surround us creating a smaller bubble of energy. I looked up to see Rarity, a second Rarity standing there. She was glaring at the version with those hateful green eyes. “How dare you imitate me! Imitate me, whiling wearing green of all things. This insult will not stand.”
The green eyed Rarity’s lips curled up at the corners. They continued to curl up until the split open and the grin ripped the flesh going all the way to her ears. Her eyes hollowed out and only endless blackness with two pinpricks of green light remained. “Oh ho, the real one appears. And with your mind I can see such delightful fruits. In fact we’ve even committed the same sins as Trixie here. From forcing our friends to work as slaves for a clothing show to actually using a dark magic book to destroy the entire town.”
The normal Rarity replied. “I will admit that I have done those things. Maybe Twilight and Pinkie are right and I’m more mad at myself than I am at her, but this does not mean I will let you mock me.”
“Oh, but it gets so much juicier. It would seem that our hatred of Trixie knows no ends. Would you like to tell her how come it is she was never able to obtain a job, why her father threw her away like the garbage that she is?”
Rarity growled. “I have no idea what you are talking about you monster.”
The monster laughed, it sounded inhuman, cold and wet. “How many potential employers did you go to in secret, how many did you tell about Trixie’s sins. How many did you convince to never hire Trixie because of her actions in Ponyville? Do you even know, can you even count that high?”
Rarity shouted. “SHUT UP YOU FREAK!”
A beam of blue energy lashed out from her horn, went through the shield and hit the monster in the face. A hole ripped open but only black ichor poured out. The laughing got stronger. “Fine, I’ll ruin both of you at once, my filthy little toys!”
The sun descended at a blinding pace. I felt the world turn upside down and everything was consumed by that red light. As everything was washed away I heard Rarity speaking. “I’ve already done enough damage, let me do something good for once.”
I felt my body lying against something cold and wet. The red light seemed so oppressive that I wasn’t sure I’d ever move again. Slowly the light seemed to ease off and I could make the world around me. My stage was completely gone. I was just lying in the mud now. Everypony else seemed to be gone as well.
The further off I stared the more I saw the two shapes in front of me. One on the ground and one floating in the air and a long string of darkness connecting the two. I heard something wet. Breathing, it was breathing, hard, wet, gasping.
I blinked and all the color came back at once. I saw the green eyed monster standing on all fours. Tendrils of black slime were leaking from its body, one of which had stretched out into the air and had gone straight through Rarity. I stared. Rarity was hanging mid air, her hoof grasping the tendril as the thing pierced her chest. Crimson liquid rand down her lips and down her body before dripping into a pool in the mud.
Rarity wasn’t looking at the monster, she was staring at me. For once her eyes held no trace nor hint of hatred. Instead there was a deep look of pain, of sorrow. She spoke, each word wet with blood. “Trixie, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Rarity, no. No, no, no, no. You have to be okay.”
Rarity coughed and more crimson hit the earth. “Oh, Celestia, what I did. It was wrong. So wrong of me. I know you’ll never forgive me but I’m so sorry. For the show, for amulet, for your career, I’m sorry.”
I blinked. What was she trying to tell me? She didn’t have to be sorry, she was an element of harmony, even if she was a bully she couldn’t do anything too wrong. What this monster was saying, what it was doing, it couldn’t be right. This was all just a dream wasn’t it?
Rarity’s horn lit up and she looked at the monster once more. “At least, let me, do this, for you.”
A stunning series of lights flashed from her horn, each one sending ribbons of blue light into the monster. They cut through the monster, tore tendrils and limbs off. Once its head was removed the black ichor holding it together fell apart and it landed into a pile of goo. Rarity slammed into the earth.
I galloped over and slid to a stop at her side. “Rarity, stay awake. Please, the others will be here. Competent ponies will come save you, I promise!”
She looked up at me. Her eyes hardly opened. “It hurts. I thought you couldn’t feel pain in dreams.”
“It’s not just a dream, something is wrong. Seriously wrong.” I looked up and all around. “TWILIGHT! LUNA! HELP!”
Rarity coughed. “They can’t come in. Luna said it was an outsider. It blocked them from coming in.”
“What about you, how are you here?”
Rarity closed her eyes. “I came in first, so I was ahead of the others.”
“Rarity, keep your eyes open. KEEP THEM OPEN!”
I looked again at the puddle of goo. That vile abomination had done this. It was gone now so where were the others. Why wasn’t this done with. That was when I saw it. In the middle of the pile of goo was a book. The book was dark, near enough to pitch black in that ichor that one could hardly see it. There was an image of an alicorn burned into its cover. The binding and cover were made form leather, real pony leather.
“I burned you,” I whispered.
The book shot up a few feet into the air and the ichor wrapped around reforming the monstrous vision of Rarity. “Yes you did. I offered you the ability to find the alicorn amulet a second time and you burned me! I offered you power, a chance to break free from your farm pony shackles but you choose an orange dirt pony over me!”
“Applejack is not a dirt pony.”
“It doesn’t matter you’re all dirt beneath my power. My creator made me and the amulet so we could create true absolute safety in this world and you threw that away. You killed me and my physical form so I’m going to kill you and your mind, but not before I torture you, before I kill everyone you love and care about before your eyes. This pathetic thing died trying to fight me, but it’s just the first. The first of many.”
I closed my eyes. “Rarity is not pathetic. She might be cruel, she may have done something bad, but she is far from pathetic.”
“She’s only the start, Trixie. Wait until I get my hooves on Pinkie. Ohhhh, I’ll do absolutely horrible, wonderful things to that mare before she’s gone. Maybe you’ll recognize some of them.”
My eyes shot open and I felt power flowing into my horn. “No.”
“You can’t stop me. You can’t even stop yourself from going to a cliff to commit suicide by instinct alone.”
“NO!” I screamed as my horn lit up brighter. A purple aura cast over everything in sight.
The monster stared at me. “Oh, so you think you can challenge me. After everything horrible you’ve done, you’re just garbage. Remember what your father said, you’re garbage and your only family is long since dead.”
I unleashed all the magic I had into three spells that I knew, three of them that had all of my broken heart, all of my wrath, all of my rage at this stupid messed up world inside them. “I am good at three schools of magic. First, I am a master of illusions.” My body grew in size, it continued to grow and grow until I was the size of an ursa minor. “Second; I am good at weather magic.” The fog around me was swept up into a sudden wind and blasted toward the sky revealing the red bubble shield that stood around us. “Third: I am really good at telekinesis.” I lifted my giant hoof and slammed it down toward the monster.
The monster laughed. “You’re nothing but an illusion, you just said so. How could telekinesis frighten m-“
It was cut off as the weight of the hoof, of my hidden telekinetic spell slammed into the top of it. The monster was instantly crushed into the mud. It struggled and pushed against the might of my spell. I increased the weight of my spell and watched as it was squished into the earth with a sickening splat.
Once I was sure it was as flat as it could possibly be. I lifted my hoof and dropped the illusion. I had moved up to only a couple feet in front of it. The book was lying face up and open, the pages muddled and the binding torn. My horn lit up with one more spell and a lightning bolt struck it, burning the book and its pages.
“I am the great and powerful Trixie, and you have hurt me long enough. I will not let you stay.”
For a long moment I stood in silence watching the book burn. The shield had dropped around me. Rarity… she’d sacrificed herself to help me. I shook my head but the pain of this realization came crashing in. I closed my eyes and let out a quiet sob.
“What did I do? I already hurt her and her family once, now she’s gone. Her sister just lost someone because of me…”
Rarity’s voice chimed in behind me. “Who lost a sister now?”
I spun around. She was standing. The wound in her chest gone. Her body cleaned and mane perfect. She was smiling at me. I galloped over. “You’re not dead!”
She froze for a moment, staring at me as if I had said something shocking. “O-of course not, darling. A foolish thing like a book could never hurt me. Well… not a second time.”
Luna’s voice broke in. “I believe I had mentioned something before this endeavor.”
I looked to see everypony there. Luna, Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie and even Rainbow Dash. Rarity faced Luna. “You mentioned that actions have consequences, and you were right. I helped cause this whole mess.”
I looked at her. “No you didn’t.”
Rarity wouldn’t look at me again. “The monster wasn’t lying, Trixie. I sabotaged your career. I haunted you, found out where you were working or were going to work and used my influence to get you fired or make sure you never would be hired in the first place. I did this for weeks, months. I only lost track of you after an incident in Canterlot, the last pony I had spoken with was your father… I have no excuses for my actions. All I can say is that I am terribly sorry. You were never the real villain. It was me.”
“But… but why?”
She laughed, it was cold. “Because you humiliated me in front of the entire town and back then, I was still so stuck on myself that I thought it some kind of horrible offense worthy of taking revenge. Yet, once I started I couldn’t stop. I had really hoped maybe my actions were not so terrible you couldn’t get another job, but it turns out I did far more damage, was far more effective than I ever dreamed.”
“B-b-but-“
Rarity shook her head. “There’s no words for it. I promise from here on out I’ll stay out of your life. If you and Pinkie wish to start something wonderful together, I’ll stay out of it and hope you two have the best of luck.”
Everypony was silent for a long minute after that. It gave me time to think. To really think about how awful a thing it was Rarity had done. Yet I knew more now, I knew that everyone of these elements of harmony had at least once done something incredibly stupid, mean, or evil. I’d even heard rumor that Rainbow Dash committed an act of treason by blowing up the Weather Factory in Cloudsdale once, of course that was just a rumor.
It seemed like Rarity was truly sorry for what she’d done. It wasn’t like I had been much better myself. I enslaved an entire town, tormented them, and did horrible things to them all. I enslaved children forcing them to do physical labor until they were broken and bleeding… Was I really in such a high place now as to judge Rarity for something she did so many years ago. Probably, but I wanted to be better than that. If she was willing to apologize and change her ways, maybe I could do something similar.
I swallowed and spoke the hardest words I think I’d ever had to speak. “I forgive you.”
Rarity’s head snapped back to look at me. “Darling, you can’t mean that. If you’re just trying to impress Luna or Pinkie, please don’t. I can accept that I’ll never be forgiven.”
“I’ll forgive you because it’s what I want to do, to prove that I’m really trying to be a better pony.” I smiled, this was easier than I thought. “Of course I only have one condition; tell me what happened with my father?”
Rarity looked at the ground. “Simply put, he had already heard of your actions, long before I even got there. Seems he was keeping an eye on you. From the way he acted, I got the feeling he was looking at you in terms of usefulness and with your career destroyed he had no further interest in you. Since his other children are simple village ponies he has no interest in them either.”
“Yeah, that and there dead.”
Rarity blinked. “Nixie and Pixie are not dead.”
I looked directly into her eyes. “But he said they were.”
Rarity’s jaw dropped and she mouthed a few words in silence. “That… that’s even an evil I could never… that I would hope I could never do. They are perfectly fine and healthy. They live just outside of Ponyville after all. To tell you they were dead, to say such a vile lie… he must truly be a villain.”
“That or he thought I would just abuse there kindness.”
Rarity shook her head. “Still, it is something that I cannot abide. I will introduce you to them myself and explain the situation. They’d be more than happy to meet you.”
I met her eyes. “Really?”
Rarity smiled. “Of course.”
I looked at the others. Rainbow Dash walked up to us. “Guess it’s my turn. Um… sorry about stealing your thunder when you first came to Ponyville. You were running a free gig and everything and I kinda ruined that with my awesomeness…”
I shook my head. “It’s alright.”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “I’d like to see your show again though. After I got into wrestling I realized that pretending to be a self centered villain is actually kinda cool. The Thunder Tanker is one of my favorites and he’s all like, throwing people’s soda’s in their faces and stuff, and he’s really popular so… yeah, I realized I was kinda a jerk.”
I smiled. “Glad to see some fake pony grappling changed your mind on my performance.”
She glared at me. “Wrestling isn’t fake.”
Twilight walked in between us laughing nervously. “Hey, let’s finish what we’re here for okay?”
Luna was already examining the book’s charred carcass. “I believe she may have actually killed it, however I would like to continue the investigation to make sure no more traces of dark magic are hiding. After all, we are here to save Trixie’s mind are we not?”
I looked back at her. It was true even with the book gone and dead, there might still be damage to my mind unaccounted for. Yet, somehow I felt like maybe something good was finally happening to me. Life really was looking up for once. I made up with all these ponies, even got apologies I never knew I needed, and even found out I still had family left alive. Could it be true? Could life really be good for once?
A week later I found myself standing in an empty field with Pinkie on one side and Twilight on the other. It was beautiful here, green rolling hills of grass, flowers blooming everywhere the eye could see and a dirt road leading all the way back to town nearby.
“So,” I began, “Why did you two drag me out here?”
Pinkie scratched at the back of her head. “With all the craziness going on I kinda forgot one of the important things about PSSSD.”
Twilight added in. “Pinkie had a fantastic idea but needed some… financial assistance. So I helped her out on the one requirement that I get to be there when she gives it to you.”
“Yeppers!”
I looked between the two of them. “You two are both nuts, but okay. What did you forget?”
Pinkie led us up a big hill as she explained. “Well on the Pie Sister Surprise Swap Day you’re supposed to give things out. You gave me a date, and I’m giving you something just as wonderful.”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “I don’t think that having breakfast and then sleeping in your embrace all day counts as a date, I still plan to give you a proper one. Once I’m used to all the magical rehabilitation I’m going through. Honestly, Twilight is putting me through my paces.”
Twilight laughed. “Me and Luna told you that rehabilitation wasn’t going to be easy but you’re doing amazing. I think this gift is only going to help make it better.”
This hill was much larger than the others. I could already feel my muscles telling me to stop walking and turn around. Why were we going up such a large hill, what was there a picnic at the top? Actually knowing Pinkie Pie, there probably was.
Pinkie Pie spoke, her tone changed to be a bit uncertain. “I really hope you like it…”
I shook my head. “Anything you give me will be wonderful.”
We finally reached the top of the hill and once there I saw something I almost couldn’t believe. There, hiding behind the hill just sitting in the middle of some open space with a small dirt road going off to the side was my old wagon. It wasn’t just some random wagon, it was my wagon. Every shape, every color, every heart carved into the windows. How in earth did it get hear?
For a long moment I stood there, stunned into silence. Pinkie’s voice was the only thing to break my trance. “Um, d-do you like it?”
“Pinkie, I think I love you.”
Without warning Pinkie jumped into me and we rolled down the grassy hill together. Once we stopped she was on top of me and staring into my eyes. “YES! I succeeded in making you love me!”
I smiled up at her. “You’re always a bit reckless aren’t you?”
A hoof touched my chin and she nearly whispered. “I could be more reckless, if you wanted me to.”
I could feel my face growing warm. “Oh hey, let’s uh, let’s go check out my wagon.”
Pinkie winked. “I never thought you’d ask.”
“No, not like that.” I shook my head. “I meant, I’m really excited to see it… and also, thank you, Pinkie. It’s wonderful.”
Pinkie let me up and as I stood up I could hear a few hushed voices from behind the wagon. I walked over it to see who it might be and snuck my head around the corner to see who was talking. I saw Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, as well as the missing element of harmony Fluttershy. I also saw my sisters Nixie and Pixie as well as a third one I wasn’t familiar with but considering she looked just like me, and my sisters only purple, I figured my father had sired another pony he’d abandoned. Too bad for him, good news for me.
I listened in for a moment as the group was chattering. Rarity was speaking to Fluttershy. “I understand why the rest of us are here, but why are you here darling?”
Fluttershy was beaming. “I love magic shows!”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you go to Trixie’s original show in Ponyville then?”
Fluttershy looked at the ground. “I did, but then you guys started to make a scene so… I left.”
Rarity looked away. “I’m sorry, it would seem my actions hurt another pony without my realizing.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s okay, I was just absolutely terrified to tell you I liked magic shows for years is all. It’s fine.”
Wow, that seemed a little cruel. Completely and utterly honest, but cruel. Then again, maybe it would serve to remind Rarity that just because she doesn’t like something doesn’t mean others don’t. Still why were they all there?
Pinkie tapped my shoulder and I almost jumped out of my skin. I spun around, “Pinkie!”
She smiled. “We’re all here to see your first show in years.”
I blinked. “My first… show?” I swallowed. I was not prepared, especially with all those bullies, ex bullies, watching. They would hate everything I’d do.
Twilight seemed to catch onto my stress and spoke gently. “They all promised to watch your show with an open mind and heart. No judgment or heckling this time. Or else I’m going to zap them.”
I looked down at the ground. “Well… with Twilight’s help I’ve been getting better at magic, maybe… maybe just a short one. I could do that.”
Pinkie smiled and opened a side compartment on the wagon. Inside were my hat and cloak. Seems she was already prepared for everything. I glanced at her. “Okay, Pinkie, if I’m going to do this proper I’ll need an assistant. Do you happen to know of any sexy pink ponies about?”
Pinkie looked around. “Hmm, I might know one. I also know she’d love to join you on stage.”
I looked back at the wagon. “Okay then, let’s do this. The Great and Powerful Trixie will shock and aw the audience into a state of wonder, amusement and glee. And she’ll do it all with her beautiful assistant Pinkie Pie.”
And like that, I was able to run the best show of my entire life.
