Elias Bright has found himself within the realm of Equestria, and with a new world comes new cultures, peoples, and experiences. This is a companion to The Centurion Project featuring short scenes that didn't quite make the cut because of short word count, because they interrupted the main points of the story, and all of the more mature scenes only hinted at in the main story.
Some chapters are silly, some are mature. While in chronological order, the chapters may or may not be related to one another (but they are certainly related to the linked chapters in the main story. I hope you enjoy these side affairs!
All NSFW chapters shall be labeled in the title, and the authors note (with the related chapter).
Night Flash did his best to hold a fake smile as he walked up behind Book Binder. It had taken a bit to find her, enough time to make him start to think too much, but eventually he had found her in one of the secret sections of the library, preserving scrolls. In reality, he was sweating bullets so thick he could’ve sworn they were arrowheads. As he put one hoof in front of the other, he tried to remind himself of the words Red had told him.
She wants me to ask her out, she wants me to ask her out, Night Flash repeated mentally, over and over. Red said she wants me to make the first move, and that I should just make it seem like any other day. Doughnut Joe’s is a Canterlot classic, we’ve been a hundred times! Simple, familiar, completely safe. Completely normal. Completely subtle, and unsurprising, and-
“Flash? Night Flash are you alright?” Book Binder asked.
Night Flash blinked, looking around, then back to the green mare. He’d been standing and staring. He was, in fact still just standing and staring, not saying anything. Night Flash blushed, feelings his wings flutter and his tail flick as Book Binder put a hoof on his forehead.
“Not warm,” she mumbled. “Are you alright Flash? You came up like you wanted to ask me something, then just kinda, stared at me. You didn’t get into more mystery potions again, did you? Cause we can go get Elias again if-”
“No!” Night Flash squawked.
Book Binder recoiled back, even as Night Flash cringed and rubbed his foreleg.
“I mean, he said not to talk about that, and no, I didn’t, I…” He took a deep breath, trying to still his pounding heart. When he actually glanced up and met Book Binder’s worried, if confused, gaze, he felt himself relax slightly, and he put on his best smile.
“Would you like to come to Doughnut Joe’s with me?”
Book Binder blinked, then snorted.
“All of that for Doughnut Joe’s? Night Flash, you act like we don’t go every week.”
Night Flash’s ears fell against the sides of his helmet, but he immediately felt himself lift onto the tips of his hooves as Book Binder kissed his cheek and smiled her beautiful smile at him. The mare gave him a wink and turned back to her desk.
“Just let me finish with a few more scrolls, then we can go for breakfast, okay?”
Night Flash bobbed his head, barely able to let out a; “yup” in reply. Book Binder giggled, then began to hum as her horn charged, slowly mending a scroll that had been chewed on by moths. Night Flash couldn’t help but let out a sigh, one part of relief that she had accepted, and the other two parts merely dreamy as he watched the mare of his dreams work, wondering briefly if he could convince Red to give him another complaint free hug for celebration. That was for later though, he still had to pose the big question first.
Once Book Binder announced she was finished, they left the library, and then the castle. Night Flash led the way through the Canterlot streets, feeling slightly uncomfortable at walking beside Book Binder. Maybe it was because he was worried he was going to stare, or maybe even fumble his proposal, before they even got to the doughnut shop, but he led, and glancing back occasionally, he found Book Binder looking about the busy street, her eyes not on him. That both relaxed him, and made him more nervous. Night Flash faced forward, also looking about to appear as if he was just taking his normal friend who happened to be a mare to their normal doughnut spot for just a normal, not at all romantic lunch that was certainly not a planned out date. Maybe if he believed it hard enough, he could fool Book Binder. With another glance back, Night Flash smiled slightly to himself, and his tail waggled a little when she caught him looking, so he looked forward again. Completely normal.
*****
Book Binder was both ecstatic and absolutely exasperated with how adorkable Night Flash was being. Oh, it had certainly surprised her when the pegasus had appeared in the middle of the afternoon while she was helping Princess Luna clean up the castle again, but when he had decided to freeze in place with that wide-eyed look, she just knew he was going to ask her the question. His stuttering, shouting, and now constant glancing back were just confirmation icing on a beautiful confidence cake, and she couldn’t keep still with how eager she was to say yes. She’d been waiting for so long, but now he had finally picked up on all the signs, and was going to ask her to be his marefriend. She couldn’t wait!
*****
Night Flash did his best not to scratch at his neck as he waited beside the counter for their order, intentionally not facing the usual table where Book Binder waited. His nerves had only gotten worse once they had gotten to Doughtnut Joe’s, and he was beginning to doubt himself. Book Binder had ordered her usual, black coffee, double dark chocolate chip doughnut, half sprinkles. Not wanting to tip his hoof, Night Flash had decided to do the same, getting his standard half-dozen glazed and a hot chocolate. The problem was, the display case was lined with dozens of doughnuts and pastries that were far more romantic than plain glazed or chocolate, and he felt a burning need to try and make it more special. What Red had advised was stuck in his head, but with that came the rest of what the human had said.
‘I’d recommend you look to somebody with a bit more experience in matters of the heart.’ Red had said.
Did that mean he needed to consult somepony else? There was Princess Cadenza, but she was still on sabbatical, and he didn’t want to wait for her to return, wouldn’t wait! He had to ask Book Binder now before his doubts got worse, but what if he was wrong? What if he blew it and ruined one of his best friendships? Red would be a shoulder to cry on, the human was already super reliable, but he didn’t want to cry! He wanted to be with his marefriend, and then they could go on proper dates instead of lame Doughnut Joe dates, and he could treat her right, and why was he so bucking sweaty again?!
Night Flash’s neck hurt from how hard his head snapped up at the sound of a bell. The tan unicorn running the shop smiled at him, pushing his order forward with one hoof.
“Hear ya go Guardspony. Last fresh batch of the night.”
Night Flash gulped. There was no more time. He had to grab the order, then it would be time to ask. Small talk would make things worse. Hyperventilating slightly, Night Flash put on a too wide smile and belted out a “thanks” before grabbing the doughnut box in his teeth, while his wings grabbed a drink each. He then turned toward the front of the shop, where he nearly dropped it all as Book Binder smiled at him. He gulped again, but trotted forward, his heart once more pounding in his chest.
Night Flash set down the doughnuts first, then took his seat and set down the drinks as Book Binder laid it all out on a spread of napkins. The mare again flashed a smile at him as he passed her the coffee.
“So, what’s the occasion?” Book Binder asked.
She knew that look in his eyes, poor stallion. He was too sweet for his own good, and looked near to the edge of a panic attack. A little prompting would help though, it always did.
Night Flash audibly swallowed and leaned forward slightly. It was now or never. His eyes flicked back to the door, mentally making a path back to either his parent’s house, or the castle, whichever he thought would be the best to cry his eyes out at should the worst happen. He quickly decided on the castle. Red would understand, and a good cuddle would remedy both of their hurts. Thinking of the human gave him courage, and frankly, it was a good starter.
“R-Red told me something today,” he stuttered.
Book Binder blinked. That was completely different from how she thought this would go. Elias? What did Elias have to do with anything? Oh sweet Luna, Night Flash looked like he was about to cry, his sad eyes staring at the table. Though she felt her heart break slightly at another missed opportunity, Book Binder still leaned forward to comfort the stallion. He had really taken a liking to the human, and if their already fragile friendship had fallen apart, she just needed to be his shoulder to cry on for a while, maybe help him find a new friend to cheer him up…
Night Flash glanced up and found Book Binder leaning forward. Any words he had planned vanished into the air with her so close, and so he did the one thing pegasi were all naturally gifted at; he acted on impulse.
He darted forward, pressing his lips against Book Binders.
Book Binder started when she felt lips press against hers. Any words of comfort she had prepared to offer vanished into air with Night Flash, her stallion, pressed against her in a kiss. So, she did the one thing she knew all unicorns excelled at, she savored it.
Night Flash felt the briefest moment of panic melt away as Book Binder pressed back against him. He savored her warmth, and on some instinct, they pulled away at the same time. Night Flash’s wings fluttered as he smiled at the mare, and her horn sparked faintly as she smiled back, a heavy blush on her cheeks. He couldn’t help but let his smile widen as he felt a tingle on his muzzle.
“Wow,” he said, breathless.
Book Binder giggled.
“With how long it took, I was hoping for a little bit more…” she purred and leaned in again. “But wow will do.”
Night Flash leaned in again as well, and they kissed for their second time. He found the second one even warmer, more satisfying, than the desperation of the first. There was no panic, no worry, just a simple, warm, heart-a-flutter, kiss. He sighed as they again pulled away, staring dreamily at his marefriend. He already knew she was going to say yes, felt no rush to the question, even as she giggled again.
“I’d ask if you liked that, but I think I know the answer.”
Night Flash chuckled, poking at this hot chocolate lightly.
“Red was right. You were waiting for me.”
Book Binder leaned back with a look of epiphany on her face.
“So that’s who inspired all of this.” She snorted and shook her head, still smiling as she stared into his eyes. “If I weren’t so happy right now I would clobber that man.”
Night Flash nodded in agreement, his smile bright and goofy. Words were hard, and he was just so happy, and so very warm. He absentmindedly pulled out the primary he had plucked well in advance of their date, and he offered it with a wing to the mare, to his mare.
“Feather?”
Book Binder laughed aloud, her head thrown back to the sky, even as her magic reached out and grabbed the primary. Still laughing, she hopped out of her seat and, tucking the primary behind her ear, hopped into Night Flash’s. The pegasus caught her in another kiss, and this time, his wings wrapped around her, finally surrounding her in the warm, fluffy embrace she had been dreaming about for so long.
Elias was jolted awake from his afternoon catnap by something slamming against his door. The sound of a hoof rapidly pounding against the wooden portal quickly followed, but before Elias’ heart could truly begin to race, Night Flash’s voice filled the air.
“Red!” he cried out, “Red please open up, I need your help!”
Elias let out a long sigh and stared at the dark ceiling for a moment. He still wasn’t getting enough sleep, and the steady increases in training weren’t helping his energy levels. He briefly considered ignoring the pegasus’ pleas, then let out a loud groan and rolled out of bed as the center part of his brain decided to pitch a fit at the mere thought of “abandoning” his friend.
As he approached the door, Elias heard other muffled voices shouting from far away, but decided to ignore them as Night Flash let out another whimper. Elias flipped on the light, then yanked the door open and stared down at the pitiful dark blue pony, who smiled up with shining eyes. His hoof was raised mid-knock, but that smile, damn if it didn’t try to force Elias to hug the pony. Stupid weak instincts.
“You answered,” Night Flash said softly, lowering his hoof.
Elias felt a bit of a migraine begin to build in the front of his head, and he let out a yawn as he rubbed at his eyes.
“Yes, Night Flash, that’s how doors work. You knock, I answer, now what do you want? You said you needed help?”
The pegasus opened his mouth, only to be interrupted by Book Binder.
“Elias, close the door!”
Elias blinked blearily and leaned out of his room. Down the hallway, Book Binder and Scarlet stood at the end of a long fuzzy tube with a tail and legs. The unicorn was flipping rapidly through the pages of a thick black tome, while Scarlet lightly poked at the elongated rump, smiling absently whenever the tail would flick. Book Binder’s mane seemed to puff out from beneath her helmet as she tore through the book with desperation, and Elias could have sworn he saw her eye twitch when she looked up to find him staring at her.
“Close the bucking door!” she shrieked.
Night Flash chuckled and Elias felt the pegasus rub against one of his bare legs.
“Oh Bindey, it’s far too late for that…”
Elias looked down at the pegasus, who was still smiling brightly up at him. Elias then looked down the length of the fuzzy blue tube. His mind began to slowly put the pieces together, but by the time it clicked, Night Flash was right. It was too late.
Night Flash reared up and shoved Elias back, then, just as he managed to recover his balance, Night Flash slithered closer and shoved him again, making him fall into his bed. Night Flash was close behind, and as Elias opened his mouth to question the pegasus, he felt something incredibly strange. Night Flash’s long body began slithering around Elias’ legs, slowly tightening as the pony made his way up. Night Flash smiled happily the entire time, and he moved just fast enough that Elias couldn’t get any limbs free to fight back. The pony part of Night Flash’s body inched up in the bed, dragging Elias along with him. Coils of fluff tightened around Elias’ chest, and by the time they stopped moving, Night Flash’s upper body rested behind Elias’ head like a pillow, while the snake-like portion of the pony’s body was curled completely around Elias’ body like a furry living sleeping bag. Night Flash giggled and hugged Elias’ head, doing his best to meld his chest fluff with Elias’ hair.
Elias felt himself flush crimson, with embarrassment or rage, he didn’t know, as Book Binder and Scarlet trotted into the room. Night Flash stopped giggling and his coils tightened as he stared hard at the pair of ponies. One hoof stroked the side of Elias’ head, and the human decided that the emotion that would win out would be rage. Scarlet looked like he wanted to laugh, but a glare from Elias’ shut the pony up instantly. Book Binder gave him her most understanding smile however, and she let out a soft sigh as she eyed the trapped human up and down.
“Sorry about this Elias. I thought everyone had been warned, but then Flash took off toward your room and he kept blocking the hallways so we couldn’t warn you.”
Elias growled as Night Flash continued stroking his cheek.
“Explain to me what is happening before I rip Scarlet’s wings off.”
“Why me?” the red pegasus protested. “I didn’t even say anything!”
Elias shot him another glare. Book Binder clicked her tongue and shook her head.
“Night Flash was helping me to do some clean up for Princess Celestia. Some of the rooms in the castle are going to be renovated for more guard rooms, but they were still filled with stuff from her old students. A shelf of potions was loose, and while I caught most of them, one of the potions broke on Flash’s helmet. He got doused with a transformation potion, then became what you are currently experiencing.”
“And what precisely am I experiencing?” Elias asked.
Night Flash nuzzled his head, his eyes still locked on Book Binder.
“The best of cuddles Red,” he whispered softly. “I only give my friend the best cuddles.”
Book Binder frowned at the snake-like pegasus.
“Flashie, please let Elias go. You know he doesn’t like being hugged.”
Night Flash’s coils tightened further.
“No,” the pegasus spat. “Red loves cuddles! Nopony else wants to give cuddles, so now I cuddle Red!”
Elias felt the pegasus begin to tighten even further, and he sent a glare toward Book Binder.
“Shut up,” he hissed. “He tightens any further and I lose the ability to breathe.”
Book Binder raised her hooves and took a step backward.
“Fine, fine. I’m not going to stop you from giving cuddles Flashie, alright? Just please loosen up before you hurt Elias.”
Elias let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in as Night Flash’s coils loosened and he resumed his head stroking. The pegasus still watched his pony compatriots closely, but his happier attitude returned. Elias even managed to get a hand free, and he used it to lightly scratch at what he imagined was Night Flash’s belly. The snake-like pegasus hummed in appreciation, and relaxed fully, nuzzling Elias’ head again. The human looked to the book in Book Binder’s magic.
“So what, he’s like a snake now? Should I expect to be eaten shortly?”
Book Binder snorted and shook her head.
“No, nothing as serious as that. Night Flash hasn’t been dangerous, per se, he’s just more clingy, and with his size, he’s been at risk of smothering ponies.”
She set the book on the floor and sat down, flipping pages.
“I tried to talk him down until we figured out how to undo the effects of the potion, but he wouldn’t let me focus. When I told him that I didn’t want any cuddles, he got a bit more aggressive and stormed off in search of somepony to hug. Scarlet was his next victim, and after that the word got out.”
She cast an eye up, then back down to the book.
“Until now he’s been getting more and more distressed. Again, nothing harmful, but it has been a bit of a nuisance. Princess Celestia was busy keeping ponies out of his path, and Princess Luna is still traveling back from an administrative visit to Manehatten. She won’t be back for a few more hours.”
She flipped another page and frowned.
“I’ve been making progress on figuring the potion out, and while I haven’t found an antidote, I have managed to determine that it will expire. Eventually.”
“Eventually?” Elias hissed.
Night Flash giggled and wrapped himself around Elias’ head.
“Aw Red, we get to cuddle and snuggle until then!”
He yawned and rested his head on Elias’ shoulder.
“Such a good friend. So kind, and caring. Giving away all of your warm snuggles. Just so great.”
Night Flash yawned again, then closed his eyes. His coils tightened in an almost protective fashion, then his chest fluff began to rise and fall slowly. Elias felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and warmness wash over his body, and although he still wouldn’t admit to himself that he like cuddling, the snake-pony was quite lovely to be wrapped inside. He suppressed a yawn of his own and looked toward Book Binder.
“Give me a no bullshit answer; can you fix this?”
The unicorn sighed and shook her head.
“Not before it expires. I’m a scribe, not an alchemist. I could ask Princess Luna to help once she gets back, but the potion should expire in the next day or so anyway. It would take at least that long to brew an antidote once we figured it out.”
Elias sighed and stared at the ceiling.
“Then tell Nightshade we’re not showing for our shift due to medical issues. Tell her, and anyone else that’s curious, that nothing else happened. We just got sick.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Elias saw Book Binder smile. She closed the tome and rose to her hooves, nodding.
“Alright, I think I can do that. I’ll even try to get you some extra hazard pay.”
She turned to Scarlet and nudged him out the door before casting a look back.
“I’ll make sure Scarlet keeps quiet too, and Elias?”
The human did his best to lift his head. Book Binder’s smile widened slightly.
“Flash is right. You are a really good friend. The best really.”
She flipped the light off.
“I’ll see you two in a few days. Try to have a good time.”
Elias snorted as she closed the door, plunging the room into comfortable darkness. He let out another long sigh, then looked to his shoulder. Night Flash’s muzzle was curled into a small smile, and little snorts left his nose as he occasionally nuzzled in his sleep. Elias felt a trace of a smile touch his lips, and he managed to roll onto his side within the pegasus’ coils. He rested his head in the softest part of Night Flash’s fluff, and the pony happily curled around his head. Without a thought of hesitation, Elias closed his eyes and fell back asleep.
Elias scratched his eyebrow, flipping lazily to the next page of A Ponies Guide to Ponies by Twilight Sparkle. It had not escaped his notice that the purple unicorn had slipped a few of her own works into the stack of books she had given him. Now that he actually had the time and mental focus to read, he had begun taking the stack apart, book by book. The book he was working on was supposed to help him understand pony culture, but the more he read, the more he thought that the princess's protege needed a few lessons herself. He sighed and flipped another page, skimming as he determined if he would be taking another trip to the front desk. He and the librarian, Neat Shelf, were on a first name basis with his frequent returns, and if Elias had learned anything about the ponies, he knew he would be seeing a lot more of the fuzzy pink mare, especially given the way her hips wiggled whenever he approached.
A cold chill raced up his spine, and Elias mentally cursed himself, curling deeper into his blanket. With winter descended over Equestria, it was almost permanently cold, and while the ponies in his life all had the advantage of layers of fuzzy pony fluff, he did not. Unfortunately, they had all noticed, and it took a supreme effort on Elias’ part to remain unsnuggled. It wasn’t a bad occurrence, per say, but Elias could almost feel his inner strength being made soft by the fuzzy, adorable ponies. They were just so cute, and warm, and huggable, and…
Damnit! They were making him weak! He needed to stop...
Elias’ eyes flicked up as a low series of whispers seemed to echo through the still air of the library. How anybody had managed to sneak so close without him noticing was a bit strange. Elias, while mildly impaired, knew his senses were always searching for potential threats. He should have been able to detect hoofsteps in the nearly silent library, and the fact that he hadn’t meant that something was up. Elias slowly closed the guide and set it to the side, making sure it was well away of his canteen and the candle he had brought to read by. So late in the night, much of the library was unlit, so Elias resorted to bringing his own candles. He left the light source where it was though, and he slipped around the dark edge of the shelves.
The library quickly became pitch black, and Elias moved slowly through the darkness, keeping a hand out to make sure he didn’t bump into any tables. Once he was just far enough away from the candle, he crouched low and dropped his hand to the hilt of his dagger, looking around with narrowed eyes for the source of the whispers. His eyes flicked to the windows first, still marking that it was nighttime. The snow seemed to glow as it fell, and for a moment, Elias became mesmerized by the white powder, watching it with a slight smile. Snow was so much better in Equestria, so much purer and softer. If it hadn’t been for his recent near-death experience, Elias imagined that he would have accepted one of Night Flash’s invitations to go out and play in it, but Elias could never seem to shake the chill in the air, and with his lack of winter clothing, he confined himself inside. Night Flash had been understanding, and after his fun, he had curled up with Elias by a fire, making hot chocolate for both of them.
Elias’ eyes flicked back into focus as a trio of ponies came around the barely lit corner of the bookshelf. His eyes quickly picked out Neat Shelf, as well as Nightshade. The third pony, however, remained in the shadows. All he could tell was that she was a mare, and a pegasus. Or… Elias squinted. The pony wasn’t in the shadows, she seemed almost as if she was made of shadows, or as if the shadows were following her every move. Elias felt his eyes water as he tried to pick out a definite shape among the blackness, so he looked back to the guard captain and librarian, both of whom were staring at the still-burning candle.
“I thought you said he was here Neat?”
“He was!” the pink librarian replied. “He loves coming here! I always bring him hot chocolate and blankets since the poor dear always seems cold. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to help you find him for the princess’s project.”
Nightshade quickly shushed the unicorn.
“Keep quiet about that! There’s a reason we have to get the jump on him. It took a lot of work to get him to bet something as ludicrous as… the thing, and if he hears, he’ll figure out a way to dodge it again. We can’t force him to be in a thing.”
Neat Shelf snorted.
“Then why are we trying to foalnap him? That is the very definition of forced.”
Nightshade scoffed and waved a hoof of dismissal.
“Semantics. We just need to bag Elias and get to the cuddle room. Could you check the nearest bathroom? I’ll try to find him in the dark. He’s really good about hearing ponies coming.”
“There’s no need Captain,” a smooth voice said from behind him.
Elias turned to find Luna grinning at him with a victorious smile. And a rather large burlap sack. It was her; she was the shadow pony. A glance behind him showed that the shadows were normal next to Nightshade. The alicorn wiggled as she crept closer.
“Now Elias, be a good loser and hop on in my cuddle sack. We have a date with destiny, and I will not let you dodge it again.”
The cuddle pile. Sonofabitch they meant to take him to the cuddle pile. That bet was coming back to bite him, he was just lucky he had thrown in the conditions he had. He just needed to escape two more times, then they had to call it off. The only problem with that was that the three ponies had him boxed in, and two of them had magic. With the third pony being Nightshade, Elias knew that he was in trouble. He had to buy time.
Elias stood and took a step back from Luna, holding his hands in the air.
“Now Luna, you know that we don’t have to-…”
She swiped the sack through the air, forcing Elias to dodge to his left. He narrowly missed clipping a table as he stumbled his way into the aisle. Luna was hot on his heels with a feral grin on her face.
“You won’t be freed by your smooth words this time Elias. Neither will your hug bribes work. Night Flash already waits in the cuddling room. Everypony else seeks your capture. Come quietly, or suffer my fuzzy wrath.”
Elias took another step back, only to halt mid-step as Nightshade flapped down behind him. The thestral spread her wings and grinned.
“You’re not getting past me Bright. I’ll hug you down, then help drag you off. Pay your dues, or things are going to get… fuzzy.”
“That’s what’s going to happen anyway!” Elias said as he took a big risk.
Vaulting a table put him in the air for a few split seconds, but that would be all the ponies needed to grab him. Luckily, the darkness, and the quickness of his movement gave him the element of surprise and he cleared the table with ease, setting off down a side aisle. Elias grinned as he wove a wild pattern through the bookshelves, disappearing easily into the dark library. The cries of the ponies disappeared quickly, and as the noise vanished, he let his steps slow.
Elias took short breaths as he turned his ears out, listening carefully for the approach of hoofsteps. He only had to make it five minutes, then they had to call off the ambush for the day. Then it was as simple as surviving one more ambush, then he was safe. Elias grinned and chuckled softly. He was going to win.
His chuckling ceased when Book Binder came around the corner of the bookshelves, smiling brightly at him. Her face was lit up by her horn, as were the large pair of burlap sacks she was carrying.
“Not this time baby boy. I knew Princess Luna couldn’t get you, but I know just the pony who can.”
Elias tensed, ready to turn on his heel and run. All he had to do was break line of sight, then her magic couldn’t get him. As a fuzzy body plowed into his back, Elias realized he had been baited once more, and he couldn’t help but groan at his own stupidity. The pair rolled to the ground, with Night flash landing on his back, and nuzzling his neck.
“Mhm, Red, you’re cold. Good thing Bindey set the trap when she did, or you might freeze!”
Elias felt himself lift into the air, and one of the sacks quickly covered his upper half. Night Flash giggled and nuzzled as it happened, either unnoticing, or uncaring as he was thrown into the sack as well. Book Binder clicked her tongue and tapped one of Elias’ exposed legs.
“Elias, could you tuck your knees please? I want you to be fully in the sack so that you don’t get hurt.”
Elias snorted.
“How is my leg being in or out of the sack going to change anything?”
“Protection spell on the burlap,” Book Binder replied. “This is a game Elias, nopony is supposed to get hurt, and every measure was taken to make sure we had good, clean fun.”
Elias sighed and tucked his legs in.
“Fine, I’ll play along. Can’t believe I fell into two ambushes in one night though. I’m getting soft.”
Book Binder sat the sack on the ground and turned it so that Elias’ face was towards the opening. The unicorn poked her head in and smiled.
“No you aren’t baby, we’re just getting tougher. You slipped through our hooves three times before tonight, it was about time we started playing dirty. Now scooch over, Princess Luna will be here in a minute to pick us up.”
Elias sighed and extended an arm as best he could. Book Binder giggled and hopped into the sack. The pair of ponies writhed and shuffled about, wiggling and nuzzling as they got into hugging positions. As soon as they were settled, the sack closed, and Elias felt them lift into the air. Luna chuckled as she set the burlap on her back.
“Thank you for being a good sport Elias. This is meant to be an enjoyable experience, and while the chase has been enjoyable, it his high time to get the reward.”
Elias grunted, resting his chin in Book Binder’s mane. The mare giggled and nuzzled him, sighing happily. He felt a hoof touch his chest, and he could almost feal Book Binder’s frown.
“You are cold Elias. Is everything alright? Do we need to take you shopping for warmer clothes?”
“No,” Elias replied. “I just need to make it through the next couple of days, then we’ll be back on duty. I’ve seen what Nightshade has planned. I’ll just sweat through everything.”
Book Binder sighed and nuzzled him again.
“Shoot, and here I was hoping to get you something fuzzy.”
Luna chuckled again.
“I think we’ll be meeting everyone’s requirements then. Because of your resistance to our cuddles Elias, this cuddle pile is larger than the others would have been. I have called in everypony, and this cuddle will last for days. I hope you enjoy snuggles.”
Elias groaned loudly, while the three ponies around him giggled.
Day 1
Elias hated everything. He was currently staring at Night Flash’s flank, or more accurately, he currently had said flank wedged against his cheek. The pegasus had been turned over by Book Binder in their sleep, and since the next break wasn’t for another four hours, Elias wasn’t able to say anything. He had promised to be as friendly as possible and not soil the event by being a party pooper, but the longer he had pony butt in his face, the less he felt like he could keep his word.
Elias’ eyes flicked up as Luna snorted. The alicorn grinned at him, pulling him tighter into her chest fluff.
“Enjoying the view are you Elias?”
His eyes gave her his answer. The alicorn chuckled softly again. She whispered some words to the ponies on top of them, then everything shifted. Elias found himself flat on his back, and a different pony sighed, wrapping their hooves around his chest while snuggling his neck dreamily. Leathery wings folded across his chest, and Elias felt a pair of fangs nip at his ear.
“Enjoying yourself cuddle boy?” Nightshade whispered in his ear.
Before he could answer, Elias found himself face to fluff with Luna as the alicorn settled like a cat on his face and chest. She giggled as she rested her head next to Nightshade's.
“I’m afraid our resident human can’t answer Captain. He is busy doing what we should have forced on him all along.”
Elias felt Nightshade chuckle beneath him.
“Every mare knows that a stallion’s only real job is to be buried face deep in fluff. It was only a matter of time before we taught Bright his place.”
Elias wanted to protest the thestral’s words, but all that escaped was a wide yawn. On some unknown instinct, he let his hands wrapped around Luna’s back, and he closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of lavender as he fell asleep.
Day 2
Elias was having a difficult time coming to terms with his feelings regarding ponies. Neat Shelf was in his arms, completely knocked out on his chest. To his left was Scalpel, who was much the same, while to his right Book Binder and Night Flash talked quietly to each other. Elias was at the base of the pile, and despite the dozens of ponies above him, he had no trouble breathing, and didn’t feel at all crushed. No doubt it was the safety spells Luna had briefed them all on when they had started forming the pile. There was a reason she had been forced to commission a cuddle specific room.
Said alicorn smiled at him from above. Luna nuzzled the top of his head.
“Enjoying yourself yet Elias?”
Elias didn’t answer, and he felt himself flush as he tried to look away. Luna’s smiled widened and she prodded his forehead.
“Come on now Elias, it is quite alright to admit it. Everypony here is of the exact same mindset, it is why they are here after all.”
Elias sighed and met her eyes again.
“Fine, you win. I do enjoy this. I’m a complete softy now thanks to you. Damn soft ponies.”
It decidedly not help him stay angry when Neat Shelf hiccuped in her sleep. The mare’s face showed obvious distress, so Elias nuzzled the top of her head, while also rubbing her belly in small circles. The librarian giggled, then settled back with a happy sigh. Elias looked back to Luna, who seemed to beam with pride.
“Very good Elias. You have all the makings of a Hugmaster.”
“I’m not signing that Luna.”
The alicorn sighed, but her smile did not waver.
“I know Elias. Perhaps in time, but not yet. I will say this however, you are not soft; not like you believe you have become at least. You are ever the battle-hardened warrior we found in the Everfree, and in a few days, you will no doubt prove it.”
She took a deep whiff of his hair.
“But it is alright that you are also the soft human that enjoys cuddle piles. You can be both, it is merely about learning the situations when one or the other is called for. You already have the capability and intelligence to make those calls Elias, so relax. Snuggle freely and without fear. This is all for you.”
Elias sighed and shook his head.
“I’m… not sure I can do that Luna. I… I just don’t know if I can.”
Luna sighed again.
“Very well then Elias. Sleep, think about my words. You still have another full day and a half to release your inner pony.”
Luna snorted and nuzzled his head aggressively.
“But should you decide to do so, do think of me. I love having a warm human pillow.”
Day ???
Elias groaned as somebody prodded his side. His grip on the pony above him tightened slightly, and he pressed his face further into her back fluff. He wasn’t ready to wake up, didn’t want to leave yet. The third day had been a blur, but from what he did remember, Elias knew that he had done as Luna had recommended and released his “inner pony” for a bit. That Elias had been a hugger, and the chill that had plagued him for weeks had finally dissipated. They wanted to quit now that he was finally getting comfortable? He didn’t want that. He just wanted to sleep a bit longer…
“Bright, get up, the cuddle pile is over,” Nightshade said.
“Shh…” the pony in his arms whispered. “Do not ruin this Captain, he is an amazing snuggler! I should hire him permanently.”
The pony moaned softly as Elias let a hand drift over her belly fur, scratching it softly.
“Yes Elias, perfect. Give all of your love to my softest fluff. Let us cuddle without end my snuggly little human.”
Nightshade prodded Elias’ side.
“Bright, you were supposed to be on duty in an hour, get up. Princess, you have to let him go. Training starts today.”
Elias groaned.
“No… Just…. Five more minutes.”
The pony above him giggled.
“You heard the human, Captain. Five more minutes.”
Nightshade sighed loudly.
“Princess I can’t just let him…" She paused, then said; "I’ll make you a deal.”
“Captain, just take your armor off and join us already! You’ve been wiggling like a caterpillar standing there. Elias wants to snuggle, so snuggle! Encourage this lovely behavior!”
Elias sighed happily as another fuzzy body quickly joined them, snuggling into his side. Nightshade nibbled on his ear and nuzzled his face.
“You aren’t allowed to get up now cuddle boy. Stay right where you are, that’s an order.”
Elias snorted and rubbed his face in her chest fluff blindly. The thestral giggle madly and pressed his face in deeper.
“Good boy, snuggle away cuddly boy. I’m sure by tomorrow this affectionate streak will have run its course.”
Luna groaned loudly.
“Captain! You have jinxed it now! Where will I get a cuddle buddy like this? He’s so warm!”
Nightshade chuckled.
“Had to Princess, you’ve been hogging him for two weeks. The other pile ponies have been asking after him, and unless you intend to have another pile, you gotta let him go.”
Luna sighed and sniffled.
“Wouldn’t have to if he’d just sign the cuddle clause.”
Nightshade sighed dreamily.
“A pony could only wish. Maybe eventually, but he’s needed elsewhere Princess, you know that.”
Luna sighed.
“I know, I know.”
Elias felt her scoot closer, and he cracked an eye open to meet her gaze. She was within centimeters of his face, and she smiled sweetly at him.
“Can we do this again Elias? This has been quite the experience, and I think we have all had an enjoyable time.”
Elias snorted.
“Two weeks? Why don’t I remember that?”
Luna giggled.
“Because my snuggly little human, you have been buried in fluff for much of it, even while eating. I have had a constant shift of extra ponies to join the pair of us, and we have kept you in a fuzzy heaven. Have you enjoyed your time at Castle Cuddle?”
Elias groaned and hugged her tighter.
“Just let me enjoy the last day before I come to my senses and think this is all weird.”
The pair of ponies on top of him giggled and wiggled, nuzzling him back to another peaceful night of sleep.
“Luna!” Elias and Nightshade called as the alicorn stalked into the room.
Her head was down, and her brow was furrowed with frustration and concern, two emotions that decidedly did not belong at poker night. Elias shot her a wide grin and waved the alicorn over.
“Come on Moony, sit down. We’ve got cards to play, and they’ll take your mind off of whatever’s bumming you out.”
Luna sighed, avoiding his eyes.
“I… I’m not sure Elias, I, eep!”
Elias refused to take no as an answer as he scooped the large pony up. Moving quickly, he slung Luna over his shoulder and walked back to the poker table. Nightshade watched with a wide smile as the human plopped down in his seat, then put the pony princess down next to him, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She flushed red with embarrassment as she finally looked him in the face. Meeting his eyes only caused her to blush harder and she looked at the floor with a small smile.
“That was most inappropriate Guardsman.”
Elias shrugged.
“Maybe, but I won’t let you be a grump when nobody around here allows me to be one. It’s poker night, you’re going to laugh with Nightshade and I. Whatever issue you had beforehand doesn’t matter now, not until we’re done at least.”
Luna sighed again, but she nodded in agreement and leaned against Elias’ shoulder. She stayed there for a moment, then blinked. In a flash of movement, she was on her hooves, swatting Elias with her wing as she shot a playful glare at him.
“Dirty cheat, you seated me so that you could look upon my cards!”
Elias chuckled as the alicorn moved to her normal spot. She had started trying to "talk more shit" when they were in a private environment; something that he appreciated. While the alicorn was awful at it, she was trying, and while she was no Anyon, it made Elias feel a bit more relaxed when talking to her.
“Hey, if it takes a little hug to win, I’m not above stooping. Besides, it stopped you being grumpy, now didn’t it?”
Luna grumbled as she wiggled in her seat. Nightshade looked at Elias and gave him a snort.
“And where’s my hug?” She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her belly fur, putting a small pout on her face. “I had a bad day too.”
Elias jabbed a finger at the mare.
“You’re always a grump Big Fluff, so I let it slide. You want a hug from me, then you gotta win one.”
The thestral stopped her act and snorted again.
“If that’s all I need, then this won’t take long at all. You suck at this game.”
Elias rolled his eyes. He reached for his water glass, taking a passing glance at the food tray. There wasn’t much on it; a few cheeses and crackers, small fruits, hay. Nothing exciting or interesting. He sighed and snatched up a grape and popped it in his mouth.
“Says you fluff, now quit stalling and deal. I can’t wait to whip your butt, and I don’t need you stacking the deck.”
Nightshade clicked her tongue.
“Big talk cuddle boy, but you’re getting ahead of yourself. Starting bets ladies. Princess?”
Luna stuck out her tongue in thought as she stared at the ceiling. After a moment of consideration, she shrugged.
“A modification of the usual I suppose. Three hugs from Elias, and the equivalent fifty bits from Nightshade.”
The thestral whistled as she wrote the bet down.
“Wow Princess, Elias’ hugs are pricey huh?” She stopped for a minute, then shrugged. “It’s not a bad price though, and I’ll match. He is a very warm pony.”
Elias let out a long bet and stretched his arms behind his head.
“I still don’t get you two; you’ll bet money with each other, but not me?”
Nightshade gave him a deadpan look.
“That’s for two reason’s cuddle boy. First, you’re legally a kid, and technically we would be breaking the law by betting money with you. Second, you refuse to just give out a hug. We always have to poke and prod to make “Mister Tough Guy” give so much as a single snuggle.”
Luna giggled as Nightshade puffed out her chest fluff in an awful imitation of Elias. The human glared at the thestral as she snorted and smiled, dropping the façade.
“If you ask me, we should have kept that cuddle pile going forever, with you at the center.”
Elias sighed and closed his eyes. His thumb and forefinger rubbed at his eyebrow.
“I thought we said we’d never speak of that.”
Nightshade stuck her tongue out at him.
“Maybe Princess Luna did, but I sure didn’t, so buck up.”
She cleared her throat and shuffled in her seat.
“Now that pecking order has been cleared up, what do you want cuddle boy?”
Elias shifted in his seat to better glare at the mare. He tapped his fingers on the oaken table for a moment, then shrugged.
“The usual. Some “illegal” substances from Nightshade, and fifty bits from Luna.”
Nightshade made another quick note, the began shuffling the deck.
“Alright then ponies, how many games tonight?” She looked to Luna as she cut the deck in her hooves. “I know you have that meeting in the morning Princess, do we need to have a quick game night?”
Luna sighed.
“Not quick, but I would like this to remain short. While I enjoy my time with the both of you, the Zebras have started getting aggressive again, and this will be another in a long series of diplomatic meetings to ensure Equestria’s safety. Needless to say, I need to be on top of my thinking game because I am not looking forward to this.”
Elias leaned back in his chair and smiled at the blue alicorn as she rolled her neck.
“Maybe I can help you relax with a snuggle then Luna, if you’re willing to do something for me in return that is.”
Luna gave him a look that was half playful, and half eager to accept.
“Why Elias, willingly giving out snuggles? Have we truly broken you so soon?”
Elias waggled his finger at her.
“Ah ah ah, you haven’t heard my terms yet.”
Luna rolled her eyes as Nightshade shuffled the deck again.
“I’m sure I can get whatever it is you require.”
“Gryphon vodka,” Elias said simply.
Nightshade choked loudly, and the deck of cards dropped from her hooves, scattering themselves across the table and onto the floor. As the thestral scrambled to recollect them, Luna snorted in disbelief.
“I retract my statement. Elias, you do know that substance is illegal for ponies of all ages, right? It is a poison.”
Elias shrugged.
“It’s actually quite good,” he responded. “a bit more bite then I’m used to, but overall very flavorful.” He sighed and blew out another sigh. His eyes focused on a nonexistent point on the table. “Unfortunately, it is also very hard to get my hands on any.”
“Who gave you a taste Bright?” Nightshade asked as she scooped up the remaining cards.
Elias looked up to find a very serious expression on her face. Her hooves set about reshuffling the deck, but her eyes were focused squarely on him, with more than a little concern concentrated in her orange eyes. He opened his mouth to say that it didn’t matter, but she seemed to predict his words.
“Princess Luna’s right, that stuff is no joke. Adult by your standards or not, you aren’t allowed to have more, and I will find out who supplied you with your first taste. Poison doesn’t begin to describe that stuff.”
Elias crossed his arms, more than ready to stonewall the ponies to protect his friend, but the look in both of their eyes made him hesitate. He frowned and stared at the table again.
“I’ll tell you if I have your word that they won’t be punished.”
“Is it somepony we know?” Luna asked.
Elias’ eyes flicked up to her.
“Your word first. I won’t be responsible for getting them in trouble for something small, and non-important.”
Luna and Nightshade exchanged a glance, then they both nodded. Elias sighed and leaned forward.
“Anyon gave me a taste from his private flask. No selling, and there’s no more of the stuff. I got the rest in exchange for letting him play with Feather some more.” Elias waved his hand in the air. “The old bird thinks he can apply another series of enchantments, but so far he’s been unable to.”
Luna frowned at him.
“So Anyon gifted you gryphon vodka in exchange for working on your gladius, and now it is gone? He has none left?”
Elias nodded and sighed.
“Unfortunately. I emptied what little was left in the flask, and when I asked if he anymore, he told me no.”
Luna exhaled in relief.
“Good, he should not have had any in the first place, but I suppose he could have been drinking it sparsely since he came under our service.”
She rubbed at her forehead.
“As for your “offer” Elias, I shall not take it. A good snuggle would be lovely after the day I’ve had, but gryphon vodka can be deadly to those who aren’t gryphons. It’s part of the name after all.”
Elias shrugged as Nightshade began dealing.
“Maybe for ponies, but I like to believe I’m made of sterner stuff. Hell, my whiskey was about the same proof from what I could tell.”
Luna curled her muzzle in disgust.
“Indeed, and a foul substance it was.”
Elias scoffed at her.
“Bah, you don’t know. That stuff was liquid gold. It was the finest of my Earth stock, and tasted like heaven.”
“I think not,” Luna replied with an eyeroll. “It burned as you drank it, and I am most glad that you are rid of it.”
“Wouldn’t be if Book Binder hadn’t found my still,” Elias muttered.
“Your illegal still,” Nightshade said with a grin. “The one that a legal minor such as yourself is not allowed to have?”
“It wasn’t like I was going to distribute it,” Elias protested. “That’s why it was small enough to only fill a barrel’s worth. One batch could have lasted me a lifetime!”
Luna shot him a disappointed, deadpan look.
“Elias, you had secured four, five-gallon drums for it. That is far too much to drink of your “whiskey” poison.”
Elias rolled his eyes at the pair of them.
“Enough about criticizing my failed attempts at brilliance. Nightshade, are you done dealing or what?”
The thestral grinned at him.
“Eager to lose Bright?”
Elias flipped his middle finger up at the thestral, and she snorted dismissively as she finished dealing, and began shuffling the deck a final time. Elias watched her hooves closely as they moved at lightning speed. He was always surprised at how well hooves worked with holding and manipulating objects, but watching Nightshade shuffle the deck was always impressive. The mare was simply fast.
She set the deck down, then they picked up their cards as one. Elias immediately set his back down.
“Fold.”
Luna clicked her tongue and smiled.
“Why Elias, are you folding simply as an excuse to pay out hugs? For shame.”
Nightshade grimaced and shook her head as she folded as well.
“Nah, that was just a bad hoof. Show em ponies.”
Elias flipped his hand over to reveal a seven and a two, both of different suits. Nightshade had a two and an eight, while Luna had a pair of aces. The alicorn smiled at them both.
“Well well well, it seems you two have gotten better at the paper games.” She chuckled darkly. “Your newfound skill shall not save you from me.”
Nightshade rolled her eyes and began reshuffling the cards.
“Yeah yeah, that’s what you always say Princess, right before you lose.”
Luna stuck her tongue out at Nightshade, and Elias chuckled at their antics as the cards came around again.
*****
Elias tapped his leg nervously while keeping a blank expression on his face. His hand was absolute shit, but he was doing his best to bluff his way to victory. Their bets had become more outlandish and odd as the night went on (as they usually did), but if he won the next hand, the nights debts were cleared for him, he got a flask of hard cider from Nightshade, and a tidy pile of bits from Luna. If he lost… the cuddle pile would be the beginning of a path Elias felt divided on. On one hand, it would make him into the softest human being in existence, and he wouldn’t be able to so much as look at a sword, let alone swing it. On the other, ponies were really soft…
Elias mentally told himself to focus, driving away the parts of his mind that wanted to reach out and feel Luna’s soft belly fur. Now wasn’t the time. He had been on a losing streak; it was why he had bet big. Unfortunately, the deck had not been kind, and he was stuck with a pair of aces, a three, and a four. It wasn’t good, and he knew for a fact that Luna had at least a pair of kings and queens, but Nightshade’s hand was a mystery. His eyes locked onto the thestral as she chewed on her tongue.
With a dramatic sigh, Nightshade took a card, then groaned and folded.
“Unbelievable. Down two hundred bits and no hugs. What a crummy game night.”
Luna smiled at the thestral.
“It makes up for last week when you won four hundred bits and thirty hugs from Elias. You hogged him at every opportunity.”
Nightshade rolled her eyes.
“You’re one to talk Princess, you’re the one who kept him as a cuddle captive for two weeks.”
Luna snorted.
“He was not a captive, he was my cuddle buddy. He enjoyed himself as much as I enjoyed hosting him.” She turned and smiled sweetly at him. “Isn’t that right Elias?”
The human flushed red and focused on staring at his cards.
“We said we wouldn’t talk about that.”
Luna’s smile widened slightly.
“Elias, we are all friends here, and nothing said in this room leaves, just as promised. Nopony can break the spells I wove into the very walls. You can safely admit you enjoyed it.”
She shot a quick glare at Nightshade.
“As your guard captain has shown, you are as strong as ever, and at the top of your class in every physical aspect. Any worries you have about being soft are as empty Nightshade’s pocket after tonight.”
The thestral voiced her protest at the jab while Elias regained his composure, resuming his blank poker face.
“Fine, I will admit it. I had fun, but you need to win before you even get to consider having something like that again.”
Luna sighed, and her face dipped at that.
“Indeed. I raise a snuggle session coupon.”
Elias nodded and tapped on his leg again.
“I’ll raise forty bits, or a bottle of-…”
“No gryphon vodka.”
“Forty bits it is then.”
Luna frowned at her cards, then looked to the pot. She bit her lip for a moment, then visibly drooped as she folded.
“Curses. The pot, while lucrative, has become too rich for my blood.”
She looked to Elias and smiled as she set her cards down.
“Congratulations Elias, you have come out on top of your first game night.”
Elias felt a flutter in his heart at his victory, and it only grew sweeter as he laid down his cards from both ponies to see. Both ponies swore, sort of. Swear was a liberal description of Luna’s words.
“Bedswerving bobolyne am I! How the fluff did I not see your bluffing?” Luna groaned and rubbed at her eyes. “I am a fopdoodle for letting this slip by.”
While Elias didn’t understand much of it, he could understand the sentiment. Nightshade, however, was perfectly understandable, and refreshingly blunt in the land of ponies.
“Motherfucker,” the thestral said loudly.
Elias guffawed, while Luna flushed red and glared at the guard captain.
“Captain, that language is most unbecoming!”
Nightshade jabbed a hoof at Elias.
“He says stuff like that all the time, and he’s like ten years younger than me!”
“That does not excuse it,” Luna shot back. “It is part of his culture to swear in that manner, and he alone gets an excuse to use such language.”
“That isn’t fair, he’s legally a kid!”
Elias butted in before the pair actually started arguing. He opened his arms wide and smiled.
“Are you two going to keep arguing about Nightshade saying fuck, or are you going to give me a celebratory hug?”
Both stopped glaring at each other and looked to him eagerly. Luna twitched slightly.
“Truly?” she asked.
Elias rolled his eyes as the ponies started wiggling.
“The window closes in three… two…”
Elias caught both ponies as they leapt free of their seats and crashed into his waiting arms. The nuzzled in close, and Elias couldn’t help but enjoy the pair of fuzzy bodies on him. So incredibly soft. He had done this with purpose however, and after giving them both a light squeeze of a hug, he grinned at Luna.
“Now pay up you two.”
The alicorn immediately tried to duck away, but Elias’ plan worked perfectly, and she was completely unable to break free of his strong arms. Luna flushed red as she squirmed.
“Elias… this is not… necessary. I just… need to…”
Elias smiled at her.
“Pay up Princess, I’ve seen how you try to duck around Nightshade until the next poker night. Don’t make me break out my secret weapon.”
She wiggled some more, so Elias gave a wink to Nightshade, then gave Luna a light peck on the cheek. The alicorn stopped fighting and stared at him. She then flushed a deep crimson and giggled nervously as she avoided eye contact. A hoof reached out and snagged her saddlebags, pulling out a bag of bits. She slipped them on the table, then leaned into his neck.
“There are your bits Elias,” she mumbled.
Elias felt his smile slip as the alicorn continued staring at the table. He ran his hand down her back, making sure to rub the sweet spot between her wings. Luna purred and nuzzled his neck, but that depressed look in her eyes didn’t disappear.
“Are you alright Moony?” Elias asked.
Luna nodded.
“I… yes, I am alright. I am just thinking about work.”
Elias frowned. It was a half-truth, but that other half was pure lie.
“Are you sure? I didn’t do something wrong, did I?”
Luna looked at him with a smile, which quickly molded into a wider smile and a light blush.
“Of course not Elias.” She nuzzled his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. “You shall make a lucky mare very happy one day.”
Nightshade giggled as she rubbed his other side with her chest fluff.
“I’ll say. Elias is going to get some flank with how warm he is, and those hands…” She shivered as he scratched her ears. “There isn’t a pony under the moon who won’t a piece of this.”
She purred and nipped at his ear.
“Heck, if I wasn’t busy running down Chaser, I’d try to take that fine human body all for myself.”
Now it was Elias’ turn to flush red, and the thestral cackled as she nuzzled closer, reaching out with a hoof to tickle Luna’s belly. That put a smile on the alicorns face, and using her superior weight, she drove Elias backward, causing his chair to tip, sending the three of them sprawling to the ground. Before he could defend himself, both ponies were on him, and they both gave him a kiss on the cheek, giggling as he flushed redder. Luna buried Elias’ face in her chest fluff for a moment, while Nightshade scrambled for her saddlebags, pulling out a tall bottle of hard cider.
Luna let him up, and then with a cheer of victory, Elias cracked the bottle open, passing it to both ponies as they settled against his side.
Elias scowled as he stared at the massive textbook laying open before him. He understood the idea behind trying to get him to study for the Royal Guard, especially the crisis de-escalation procedures, but much of the information in the book was geared toward ponies. Pony combat moves served no purpose for Equestria’s only human, and the book was largely geared toward pony combat. Elias couldn’t even figure out a way to adapt any of the moves to human use, as the majority of them required magic or wings.
The only silver lining Elias had so far gotten from reading the book was that he had begun picking apart some of the moves so that he could fight them. It had taken him some time to get some wind under his sails, but after the sun had vanished and the library had grown dark and cold, he had begun taking notes in earnest, covering the table he was working at. A few empty hot chocolate cups joined the notes, the results of visits from Neat Shelf. The pink unicorn had checked on him more than a dozen times throughout the day, and if Book Binder hadn’t already laid claim as his “mother figure”, he imagined that Neat Shelf would. She had delivered several pillows and blankets, all of which were scattered around Elias, making his studying a bit warmer in the still frigid Canterlot halls, had frequently stopped by with snacks and hot coco to make him take breaks, and had even offered to help him study. He had declined, but he had still expressed his gratitude with a short snuggle.
Elias snorted as he flipped into a section that might actually help him. Basic medical care for ponies was different than for humans, and he needed to know how to treat his friends if they ever got injured.
Ba-dum
Elias looked up from his textbook and scanned the dark of the library. Luna had promised no more cuddle piles until after the royal wedding, and he would be genuinely angry if she betrayed her word. He had no issue with cuddling, but moderation was key, and he had laid the law down in no uncertain terms after she had kept him in the cuddle pile for two additional weeks. Sure she had managed to blunt his anger with another snuggle, but she had promised to keep a bit more distant, to be respectful of his space. She had even proven her words by only snuggling for a few minutes, letting Elias go back to his training without so much as a complaint. It was a measure of respect he more than appreciated, and their friendship had never been stronger.
Elias blinked and stared blankly at the book before him, then mentally cursed himself. He didn’t know why he was getting so easily distracted, he needed to study the material. Chaser was going to get on his ass if he didn’t. With a deep breath, Elias crossed his legs and stared hard at the diagrams on the page, analyzing the best places on a pony to apply a tourniquet.
*****
The Snuggle Shark grinned. His prey was unaware, excellent. It had not been a small effort to slip away from guard duty, but when he had reported to Princess Luna his intentions, she had put in a good word with Captain Nightshade, and he had gotten the entire night off to enact his plan. It would take every bit of that time to get the drop on his target. Elias was a master at detecting stealthy ponies, but The Snuggle Shark couldn’t be stopped. It was merely a matter of time before his target slipped up. Then the fun could begin.
His tail swished as he slipped between two bookshelves, climbing atop them like a wraith. His ears twitched as the sound of victory filled the air. His wings fluttered and his pupils grew wider as he watched his target, counting each breath until he could spring his trap. There would be great things done this night, wonderful things. He crawled forward, keeping low on the top of the bookshelf. His ear flicked as the sound of a soon-to-be snuggled Red waited below.
*****
Ba-dum
Elias stopped reading and looked around again. There was the sound again. Thoughts of Luna and cuddling had distracted him, but now it was louder, like something was growing closer. For some reason he couldn’t quite explain however, Elias felt no need to go for his gladius. While suspicious and no doubt an ambush, he felt like his stalker was a bit sillier. The very air was rife with a feeling of happiness and play. It felt almost like a game, and unfortunately, Elias needed to study. He was supposed to take another Royal Guard test soon, and he didn’t want to fail again. Studying need to be a priority, but it seemed like his ambusher had other ideas.
Ba-dum
Looking around the library, Elias quickly found himself in the same situation he had suffered from before the cuddle pile. The large room was nearly pitch black, with light only coming through from the moon, and from his lantern. He had to squint hard to make out even the bookshelves, so finding an ambusher amongst the darkness was nearly impossible. That didn’t stop him from trying.
As Elias got to his feet and began wandering away from his studying table, the sound began to grow louder, and more frequent.
Ba-dum dum dum dum dum
He scanned the tops of the shelves as he wandered in between them, looking for any tell-tale reflections of his lamp light. He found nothing, not so much as a glint as he scanned each and every shelf surrounding his work area. Throughout his search, the noise grew louder and louder, and Elias swore he heard the sound of an orchestra backing it. It set him on edge, making him ready for somebody to jump him. It seemed to be building toward a peak however, so Elias kept searching, looking desperately for his soon-to-be attacker. He wove his way through the rows of books, scanning each and every shadow he could find.
As he circled back to his studying table, the music suddenly vanished, and the library fell into an eerie silence. Elias remained on his guard, scanning the shelves around him once more. Before it had ceased, the music had almost been at its peak, but it hadn’t quite reached it. Had his would-be ambusher waved off? Elias had a reputation for reacting violently to surprises, and while he had gotten yet another pardon for accidentally taking that maid’s ear off, his reputation could not be shaken. Nobody jumped him if they were smart.
Elias winced at the thought of the poor maid. He had been exiting the bath after spending some quality time polishing his gladius while soaking in the steam of his bathroom, and she had been, for some stranger reason, cleaning his room in the dark. Seeing somebody messing with his belongings in the dark had made Elias act with impunity, and the maid had no warning for his attack. Yes, he had immediately figured out his mistake, and yes, he had immediately sprinted her, while he was still nude, to the infirmary, ear in hand, but he had still felt terrible about his actions. Attacking an innocent person had brought out plenty of demons, and he had fallen into a panic, begging her forgiveness as Scalpel had reattached her ear. It was only an intervention by Night Flash that had made him return to his room to calm down and get dressed.
The pegasus hadn’t said much, had merely stayed close, making Elias do a number of breathing exercises, followed by light snuggling, then soft talking. It had helped a great deal, bringing him back to a point where the maid could actually get through that she accepted his apology, telling him that she had barely even felt his cut. Scalpel had explained that Elias had severed the nerve bundle perfectly in her ear, but Elias didn’t quite trust the information the ponies were feeding him. The image of the pony’s blood flowing into his carpet was scarred into his mind, and he couldn’t help but feel that they were lying to try and make him feel better.
Elias shook his head as he sat back down. Just thinking about it still sent a chill up his spine, reminding him of much darker times. He wished Night Flash was sitting next to him, and he almost wished that the stallion would ambush him for a good snuggle. The fluffy pony always found a way to calm him down, and though he wouldn’t admit it publicly, he loved a good snuggle. The snuggle pile had seen to that. Thoughts of pony fluff filled his mind, distracting him as the music returned in full force, building to its peak.
*****
The Snuggle Shark could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Red’s search had been fruitless, and now was the time. The Snuggle Shark knew that Red was thinking of snuggling, and it meant that his time to strike was now. Using abilities only the Snuggle Shark could use, he crept down the side of the bookshelf like a big, fluffy spider. Halfway down, the Snuggle Shark wiggled his hips, and his pupils dilated until they completely consumed his eyes. His ears flicked and his muzzle scrunched in concentration. It was time for a good, hard snuggling.
*****
Elias managed to break free of his snuggle filled thoughts in time to hear somebody breathing heavily behind him. He turned around to find Night Flash staring at him with wild eyes, perched on the back of Elias’ chair like a large, winged cat. The pegasus met Elias’ eyes, and somehow his pupils got wider. Elias swallowed nervously.
“H-hey Flash.”
The pony blepped out his tongue. Elias swallowed again and looked around.
“Is it just you?” he asked softly.
Night Flash nodded without a word. They continued to stare at each other silently, and after a good minute of the pegasus not moving, Elias glanced back to his textbook.
“I should really be studying…”
Night Flash reached out a hoof and booped Elias’ nose.
“Snuggle break,” he whispered, his voice almost non-existent.
Elias winced as the pegasus seemed to puff up, but he nodded slowly. He could use a break. Night Flash grinned, then his hooves were around Elias’ chest. Elias spat as Night Flash did a twirl, slapping him in the mouth with his tail, but all was quickly forgiven as Night Flash wriggled so that he was resting happily against Elias’ chest. On instinct, Elias hugged the pony tight, and they nuzzled each other silently, enjoying every moment of their snuggle break.
Night Flash snorted, enjoying Red’s warmth. He knew that it wouldn’t be the last time they snuggled, nor would it be the last time the Snuggle Shark would have to ambush his human, soon-to-be son. Red needed more cuddles in his life, and by the time Night Flash was done, Red would be the world’s best snuggler, and every day would be filled with laughter, and snuggling and happiness. Just Red, Book Binder, and him. The pegasus chirped happily as Red scratched his ears. He couldn’t wait.
Elias frowned as he watched the scouts warm up. He had no idea what to drill them on while they waited for the coaches Celestia was supposed to send. They would never function as stand-ins in a shield wall, and while they could learn to throw pilla, they would be exposed the second they flew up to get their aim. It was the very thing he was trying to avoid, so he was at a loss as to what to do with them. He knew how useful they would be, but aside from the same physical training the rest of the legion got, they had nothing else to do.
Elias glanced at Night Flash, who watched the other pegasi with a bored expression on his face. Elias nudged the pegasus with his leg, then motioned to the scouts.
“What suggestions do you have First Centurion? Are they warming up like they should be?”
Night Flash looked over the scouts, then nodded.
“It’s how I would warm up General. Even preening is important to make sure you’re able to fly well, and I don’t see a single pony that isn’t working on their wings in some way. I think they’ll be prepared for when the princesses’ coaches show up.”
“Speaking of,” Night Flash said, glancing up to Elias, “who are the coaches? I don’t know anypony outside the guard that would be too good at teaching our scouts how to fly better. I mean, we have a couple of Wonderbolts here, who’s going to know better than them?”
Elias grinned.
“Oh, you’ll see First Centurion. On the note of Wonderbolts however, I assume you haven’t been harassing them for autographs too much?”
Night Flash straightened and puffed out his chest.
“Actually General, I haven’t done a single thing in all my time as First Centurion. I need to act like an officer before I act like a fan after all.”
Elias pondered his words silently for a moment, then snorted.
“You got the autographs after curfew, didn’t you?”
Night Flash’s stern demeanor vanished, and he drooped.
“Yes,” he whispered.
Elias chuckled and shook his head.
“Don’t look so glum First Centurion, I can’t blame you for things you do on your free time, just do try to prepare yourself. I don’t need my second in command acting like a dork when Misty Fly and Fleetfoot get here.”
Elias heard a small squeak from his left, and a loud crack of thunder from the sky. He shaded his eyes from the sun as he spotted a pair of contrails spinning through the air.
“Speaking of,” Elias muttered. He looked to his scouts, who were all staring into the sky at the approaching Wonderbolts. “Snap to recruits! I will not waste valuable Wonderbolt time with you acting like a rabble. Form in a line!”
The pegasi scrambled about like chickens with their heads cut off. Only the few ponies who had been Wonderbolts before fell easily into line, looking only slightly nervous as they watched the pair of blue and yellow clad ponies spiral into the training grounds. Elias glanced to his left and grinned at Night Flash’s frozen expression. The stallion looked like he was going to have a heart attack. Elias nudged the pony, jolting him from his stupor, then motioned to the pair of Wonderbolts as they began to walk out their landing.
“Well come on First Centurion, you’re going to be working with them, you need to introduce yourself.”
Night Flash looked at him with wide, fear filled eyes.
“What?” he squeaked.
“Well I can’t do it,” Elias said. “The wings on my back are for show, not use, not to mention that they're painted on. I need a pegasus officer to make sure the coaches keep our scouts on their toes and to ensure that proper punishments are dished out for failure. That’s you. The only other candidate is Centurion Ice Blossom, and I need her to run pilum drills.”
Night Flash sputtered, and his eyes flicked to the pair of Wonderbolts, who pulled off their flight goggles, looking around until they spotted Elias. The human gave them a short wave, then nudged Night Flash again.
“Today First Centurion, or you’re never getting those cards signed.”
Night Flash looked torn between his overwhelming nerves at meeting one of his idols, or not getting his cards signed. Elias smiled and shook his head, then walked forward, leaving the pegasus to sort out his internal dilemma. He kept an even expression on his face as he approached the pair of Wonderbolts, and he mentally cursed himself as he felt a flutter of nervousness in his own chest. He and Night Flash had spent just enough time talking about the Wonderbolts for Elias to get hooked, and while he wasn’t quite as fanatical as Night Flash, he hadn’t ever actually seen a Wonderbolt in uniform before. He had to say, the blue and yellow looked as good in real life as it had on the cards.
He offered his hand to Fleetfoot, but instead of shaking it, she forced him to curl it into a fist as she bumped it and grinned at him. The motion felt foreign, and clashed with everything Elias had styled himself after, leaving the human feeling awkward as he dropped the limb back to his side. The pegasus didn’t seem to notice as she smiled up at him.
“You must General Bright.” She motioned to herself, “Name’s Fleetfoot, this here is Misty Fly.”
The yellow pegasus beside her squinted at the row of scouts.
“I’m seein’ some familiar faces here Fleet. Is this washout school?”
Elias saw a few of his scouts bristle at the accusation, but they looked to him, keeping their mouths shut until he spoke. That was a good sign. They expected him to defend their honor, and he would not disappoint.
He squashed any traces of nerves he felt, and crossed his arms, glaring at the yellow pegasus.
“Misty Fly was it?”
She nodded and smirked at him. Elias’ bad eye twitched with irritation.
“Keep that kind of talk to yourself,” Elias said sharply. “These ponies volunteered to be here, and unlike you, they aren’t going to another show to do loops for a crowd of fans.”
He saw outrage flash in her eyes, so he crouched until he was at her eye level, then directed her eyes to the line of scouts with his finger.
“They are going into the heart of war, and they are some of the bravest ponies here, because they will be doing so with weak armor. You’re here to compensate for their armor with better training, but please, belittle them. I’ll send you scampering back to your little flight club with your tail between your legs, then hire somebody who is actually good at flying to coach them.”
Elias stared her down as Misty Fly’s eyes hardened into a furious glare. He didn’t so much as blink as she puffed out her wings. Before the pegasus could but heads with him, however, Fleetfoot intervened, putting herself between the pair of them, and laughing nervously.
“Alright, I think we get the message. Nopony is going to be throwing insults at anyone, right Misty?”
The yellow pegasus growled.
“He started it!”
Fleetfoot spun on her.
“Actually, you did. This isn’t the academy, and we aren’t going to haze these guys. This is a whole different thing, and I swear if you buck it up and soil our good name, Spitfire will hear about it, got it?”
Misty Fly withered and nodded silently. Fleetfoot took a step back and took a deep breath.
“Good. Take five Misty, cool your head. We’ve got a job to do, let’s do it right, and look good while we do it, okay?”
Misty Fly nodded again, grumbling to herself and shooting glares at Elias as she trotted a few feet away. The human rose from his crouch and clasped his arms behind his back. Fleetfoot took another deep breath before she looked back to him with a smile.
“Sorry about that, it was a…. long flight. It can be stressful.”
Elias inclined his head.
“No worries at all, I just get defensive around my ponies is all. I’m sure you feel the same.”
Fleetfoot nodded and grinned, puffing out her chest in pride.
“The Wonderbolts are one big family. We’d do anything for one another,” she shot a glare at Misty Fly, “including smacking somepony upside the head when they need it!”
The pegasus stuck her tongue out in reply, but the tension seemed to bleed from the air. Elias let a small grin onto his face.
“Fair enough. Either way, today should be one of the last interactions we have, because you two shall be working with First Centurion Flash here.”
Elias turned as he motioned to the pegasus, then stopped as he found the pony dripping with sweat and hyperventilating. Elias blinked in surprise as he saw a very familiar binder in the stallion’s hooves, and a glance toward his saddlebags found them bulging with more card binders. Elias met Night Flash’s eyes.
“First Centurion… did you fly home while we were talking?”
The pegasus gulped, then nodded as he continued gawking at Fleetfoot. Elias let out a small snort.
“First Centurion, I have no words.”
He felt a nudge on his hip, and he glanced down to Fleetfoot. The bluish pony winked.
“I think I can handle this one General. We see fans all the time, and I think you’ll crush his dreams if we don’t take care of this now.”
Elias glanced back to Night Flash, and the stallion twitched as he stared back with wide, pleading eyes. Even covered in armor and with a helmet obscuring part of his face in shadow, the stallion looked absolutely adorable, and it took Elias a substantial amount of willpower not to give him a hug. The human let out a long sigh and rubbed at his brow.
“Scouts, First Centurion, you have twenty minutes to get this out of your system.”
The pegasi bolted and formed two groups, swarming both Wonderbolts.
“I expect you to be flying like dragons when the times up!” Elias shouted.
He was completely ignored as the chattering excitement reached a fevered pitch. Elias sighed again, walking to the shade to wait the ponies out. He watched the groups closely, making sure nobody was making an embarrassment of themselves. He was surprised when after only a minute or two, Flash trotted from the group of ponies, holding neither his binder, nor his saddlebags. He trotted over to Elias, then plopped down next to him, keeping a good half foot between them. Elias side-eyed the pegasus as he practically bounced in his seat.
“Something happen First Centurion?” Elias asked.
The pegasus squealed and leaped at Elias.
“She’s going to take my cards and get them all signed!” Night Flash exclaimed. “I thought I would only get her and Misty Fly’s signatures, but I'm going to get the whole Wonderbolts team!”
He squealed again and did a little dance, fluffing his wings out in joy. The pony positively exuded happiness as he bounced around, and Elias couldn’t find it within his heart to punish him for his unprofessionalism. He instead simply watched as Night Flash danced about, letting the pony exhaust himself.
It took him a few minutes to come down from his excited high, and he quickly realized how much of a fool he was making of himself. He blushed and sat back down, still smiling as he stared at the ground. Elias rolled his eyes and patted the pony on the back.
“Pace yourself there First Centurion. These two are supposed to be spending the next three months with us. If you geek out every time you speak to them, I’m going to have to find someone else to fly with them.”
Night Flash squeaked and froze again.
“F- fly with them?” he whispered.
Elias smiled and shook his head, bracing his hands on his knees.
“What did you think you’d be doing? Watching from the ground? Fuck, I could do that.” Elias shook his head. “No, you’re going to be up there, running drills, making sure they can spot me in a formation, that kind of thing. You studied the packet Scarlet gave you, right?”
Night Flash nodded quickly.
“Of course!” he squawked. His voice immediately dropped as he looked around, making sure nobody was watching. “I studied. I just… didn’t know I’d be running flight drills with the Wonderbolts.”
Elias rolled his eyes again, and wrapped an arm around Night Flash, giving him a lightning fast hug.
“I trust you to do a good job. Just stay calm, remember your discipline, and remember that you’re in charge.”
He motioned to Fleetfoot.
“She isn’t in charge, neither is Misty Fly. You are. You hold command, and the scouts follow your orders. Do your job, I know you can.”
Night Flash stared at Elias, then looked away to rub at his tear-filled eyes. He sniffled as he spoke.
“T-thank you General, that really means a lot.”
After another sniffle, Night Flash snapped to his feet and saluted.
“I won’t let you down!” he proclaimed.
Elias pulled his watch from his belt and glanced at the time.
“Good, because they have three minutes left. See that they aren’t late getting to training. I’m going to go and file paperwork before lunch.”
Night Flash’s happy expression remained for a moment more as he beamed at Elias, then he slipped into his stern guard persona, and he pulled out his own watch, glaring at the scouts.
“I expect you to be in line with wings at the ready in two minutes!” he shouted. “If you’re even a second late, I will make sure to bind your wings and throw you from Canterlot mountain myself! Move ponies!”
The scouts began to scramble back into formation as Elias got to his feet. He gave Night Flash one last grin and a wink before walking to his office.
Elias threw his ruck into the back of Anyon’s wagon, while the gryphon put his armor on a small armor stand. Storm Chaser had told everyone that was going into the city that weapons and armor banned, and that anyone caught armed would be arrested for the night. Elias even gave his sword to Anyon for safe keeping, ensuring that the only weapon on his person was a small straight razor sewn into his tunic. Old habits die hard.
Once everything was secure, Anyon hopped out of the wagon, draping a small satchel over his shoulders. Elias patted down his sword belt, making sure there wasn’t anything other than his watch and his money pouch, then they were off. About halfway to the gate, they were joined by Steel Scalpel, who was set to be their designated negotiator. The doctor knew they intended to drink the night away, and he also knew they wouldn’t be dissuaded, so he had volunteered himself to act as their chaperone once Anyon and Elias were too drunk to see straight.
Entering Bordertown took a few minutes as the guards patted them down for weapons. When they found nothing, the trio entered the town and began their shopping spree. Like kids in a candy store, Anyon and Elias drifted from dirty marketplace stall to slightly cleaner store. Their plan was simple, they would start with visiting weapon stores while they were still thinking straight, then they would visit their first bar to get them in a true shopping mood. After that was the black-market side of town, followed by getting dinner and more drinks. Then it would be as simple as letting their addled minds guide them to wherever struck their fancy, with Scalpel keeping them away from the most dangerous places.
Though he was trying to stay calm, Elias knew Anyon was giddy as a filly. When Elias had asked him to accompany the march to the border, his eyes had lit up, and he had scrambled for paper as he wrote out a loose plan. After plenty of time and discussion, they had come up with their plan, and at a glance Elias could tell that Anyon’s giddiness hadn’t at all diminished. Like an overexcited puppy, his head whipped around as he tried to take it all in, and if he had a muzzle, Elias imagined his nose would have been twitching at a mile a minute. Anyon took in a gulp of air and smiled.
“Smells almost like home,” he said. “’cept it’s a bit smellier, but that’s just character.”
Scalpel looked slightly green as a rat ran across a cart selling apples.
“I don’t think I want to visit here again.”
Elias laughed.
“Come on Doc, getting dirty is good for the immune system! Why don’t we start with some food, then we go shop-“
Anyon vanished from the street, and Elias heard a loud squawk from the doorway of a shop simply labeled “Gryphon Crafts”.
“Youngblood they have gryphon steel! I can’t never find this stuff!”
Elias grinned at Scalpel.
“Seems the work begins.”
Steel Scalpel sighed and followed the human as he walked into the squat shop.
“Should I go grab a wagon?”
Elias could tell that the unicorn meant the question as a joke, but one glance at Anyon told him that a wagon would definitely be needed. The gryphon was already covered from head to toe in satchels, filled to the bursting with ingots, and new blacksmithing tools. Anyon’s catlike eyes flicked to Elias, and he let out a light whine, his tail lashing as he tried to hold onto his prizes, as well as continue looking around the shop.
“Ah need more bits,” he whispered.
Elias snorted and rolled his eyes.
“Actually, I still have three million bits left in the legion budget. I could be convinced to give you a few thousand you agree to get some regular booze flowing to my door…”
“Done!” Anyon squawked, just as Scalpel cried, “No!”
Anyon’s eyes flicked to the unicorn.
“Stay outta this pony! Youngblood can take his vodka as well as any gryphon, and if it means my smithy gets an upgrade, then more to him!”
"Elias is legally a minor," Scalpel replied, "and the Princesses only turn a blind eye to your drinking because you keep it to yourself. I won't let you poison somepony else with that toxic waste you call drink!"
The two began to bicker, leaving Elias to wander the shop for a moment. Nothing in particular caught his eye. All of the premade weapons looked a bit shoddy compared to what Anyon kept him outfitted with. He knew it was an indication he had gotten spoiled, but he didn’t mind. Gryphons could live up to two hundred years if they tried hard enough, so the likelihood of him being without his favorite blacksmith was slim.
The trinkets were also unappealing. He wore enough jewelry with Night Flash’s locket. None of his friends wore jewelry either, so buying something for them seemed pointless. As his passthrough brought him near the counter, the gryphon polishing the wooden counter motioned him over. Elias moved over to him as Anyon let out a particularly loud squawk at Scalpel, who zapped the gryphon’s tail in reply.
“I’m noticin’ a sheathe with no sword,” the shopkeeper said. “Taken at the gate?”
Elias shrugged.
“Even guards aren’t immune to the rules.”
The gryphon grinned.
“Ah, but what if you could be?”
His talon slipped beneath the counter, then slowly dragged out a pouch. Instead of a thud when it hit the counter, no sound occurred. The shopkeeper’s beak turned up in a grin.
“Special piece of leather this is. Makes no sound, carries as much as you want, jus’ so long as it fits in the top. Looks like a regular bit pouch when ya open it.”
Elias’ eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, tapping a finger on the counter. After a moment, he smiled, his suspicion confirmed, and he made sure the gryphon got a good look at his bad eye.
“Don’t feed me this load of horseshit,” Elias said, his tone low. “Your counter is enchanted, not the bag.”
He nodded back toward Anyon, who had, during his argument with Scalpel, dragged a large hammer down with his smoldering tail.
“You’re already getting a few thousand out of him at fair price, and we both know you won’t charge fair even with haggling. He’s too happy to haggle right. Me though?”
He stared the gryphon down, and was pleased to note the slightest twitch of nervousness.
“You try to scam me again, and I use the blade I snuck in to flay your tail before taking what I want from your shop. I have an army outside, and if I told them to, they would burn this place down. A few lies, and I could even get the princesses to thank me for it.”
He flashed a smile.
“So let’s not play this like I’m an idiot, and you instead show me something worth me, or my friends time, yeah?”
The gryphon gulped and nodded, then seemed to recover his faculties. He stared at Elias for a long moment, then blinked and laughed so loud Anyon and Scalpel stopped arguing. The shopkeeper’s wings sprung out as he fell onto his back, rolling on the floor as he laughed. Anyon clanked his way to the counter and peaked over at the gryphon.
“Somethin’ funny?”
The other gryphon wheezed and waved Anyon away. The one-eyed gryphon looked to Elias, who shrugged.
It took him a few minutes, but eventually the shop keeper managed to get to his feet. Red in the face, he let out the occasional chuckle while rubbing tears from his eyes.
“That… was the best scam calling ah’ve ever seen,” the gryphon wheezed. He looked to Anyon. “Ya picked the right youngblood for this town, that’s for sure. You from the old country, or…?”
Anyon shook his head.
“Worked for the princesses fer years now. Castle blacksmith.”
“Ya’d figure you see my stuff all the time then.”
“Ah would… if ah wasn’t supposed to be dead.”
The shopkeeper grinned.
“Made eggs in somebody else’s nest eh? Can’t say I blame ya, but hey, since this youngblood gave me a laugh, why don’t you visit me again sometime? Might see about gettin’ you a regular supply of professional gryphon steel. Won’t be cheap of course, but…”
Anyon fainted without a word, hitting the floor in a cacophony of ringing steel. Elias let out a small sigh as he looked down at the collapsed gryphon.
“And here I thought we’d actually make it through a few drinks before he blacked out.”
The shopkeeper snorted.
“Ah, it happens to everyone banished from the old country, ‘specially smiths. Can’t find the good stuff nowhere, and when ya can… well you can see how that ends up.”
The gryphon grinned at Elias.
“But I’ll tell ya what, there ain’t nothin I got here that’s gonna match to a banished smith. Smiths don’t get banished without good reason; too expensive to train and such.”
Anyon popped up, suddenly conscious, and full of fire.
“Damn right, and it’s cause none of the garbage ya got in here is worth a penny compared to my craft!”
With a shudder and a flap of his wings, the one-eyed gryphon put everything he was carrying onto the counter in a massive pile.
“I’ll give ya two hundred bits for the lot!” Anyon said. “Consider it a discount for trying to scam my youngblood.”
The shopkeeper squawked.
“Two hundred! This is real gryphonic steel. Each bar is worth fifty bits alone. What you’ve gather is easily worth ten thousand bits!”
Anyon shot Elias and Scalpel a look.
“Wait fer me outside. This is gonna be a bit.”
Elias rolled his eyes and drew a small slip of paper from his belt.
“Here’s your bit grant writ. When you two buzzards are done arguing like old ladies, come meet Scalpel and I in the market. I’m hungry, and I know I saw meat on a stick on the way in here.”
The shopkeeper poked his head above the pile of stuff.
“Go to the stall my brother works, he’s got the best quality meat in the city.” He paused, then shrugged. “Really it don’t matter too much, just don’t visit the diamond dogs. I heard they sell week old rat meat.”
“And why would that matter?” Anyon said. “Meat’s meat.”
The shopkeeper grinned.
“Oh please old timer, I can see yer still getting pampered. Princesses might have a nice smith, but they have to make sure ya don’t leave. That’s why they’ve turned you into a fat little turkey.”
Anyon screeched at the insult and he flapped his way over the counter. The pair of gryphons began to wrestle, and while Scalpel looked at the ball of fur and feathers with alarm, Elias merely turned and began to leave the shop.
“Shouldn’t we help?” Scalpel asked, chasing after the human.
Elias shook his head and opened the shop door, heading out onto the street. Meaty smells once again hit his nose, and he let the organ guide him to savory deliciousness.
“From what I’ve read on gryphons, when two fight, it’s best their left alone to it,” Elias said. “Something about a familial code of honor or something.”
It was instantly clear when they had entered the food area of the marketplace. Clouds of steam rose in the air between market stalls draped in all manner of fruit, vegetable, and most importantly, meat. The creatures manning the stalls shouted to the crowds that milled around them, hawking their goods in a wild fervor. Scalpel raised his voice to be heard over them.
“That other gryphon looked younger though!” the unicorn called. “Shouldn’t we at least check to make sure Anyon is alright?”
Elias shrugged, his eyes fixing on a stand with a gryphon standing behind a wide grill. The bird seemed to notice the human’s gaze, and a slight grin flashed on his beak as his tail beckoned. Elias let his gut take control, and he made his way through the crowd. Luckily, the ponies were avoiding the meat stall, as were the minotaurs, making it easy, once he was before it, to browse the gryphon’s wears.
“He’d check on you, you know,” Scalpel said, pointedly averting his eyes from the meat stand.
Elias scoffed, and he grinned when he noticed a few slices of bread sitting next to the grill. An unspoken question passed between the human and the gryphon, and the gryphon’s grin widened.
“Four bits!” he called.
Two pieces of bread hit the grill with a flick of the gryphon’s tail, and as Elias pulled the bits free from his belt, a sizzling piece of meat was adjusted, flipped by a greasy spatula as the gryphon put it next to the pieces of bread.
Elias dropped his bits in the bucket the gryphon nodded to briefly, then looked to Scalpel.
“If I was in a fight, would you step in to help me?”
Scalpel scowled at him.
“I did step in for you!” Scalpel snapped. “It’s how you and I met!”
Elias scoffed.
“Nightshade and I weren’t fighting. We were…. Saying hello.”
The unicorn gave him a deadpan look.
“I’ll remember that next time you have a knife in your belly.”
Elias smiled, looking to his sizzling meat. The gryphon flipped the patty again, then flipped the bread.
“Is that a hamburger?”
Elias resisted the urge to jump as Snowball appeared from nowhere. The loveling’s wings buzzed as he floated behind Elias’ head, silently asking permission. The human sighed and rolled his eyes, then nodded. A small squeaked of joy managed to cut through the noise of the crowd, and Snowball landed on Elias shoulders, his forehooves draping over the human’s head. Snowball’s purple eyes weren’t on Elias, however, and were instead fixated on the grill. The gryphon grinned once more, and another patty joined the first, along with another pair of bread slices. Snowball oo’ed softly.
“I haven’t had real meat in ages,” the loveling drooled. “That’s the one part I don’t like about infiltrating ponies. Great cuddles, terrible physical food. It’s either sweets or grass.”
While Scalpel knickered in protest at the insult to his species cooking, Elias glanced up at the loveling.
“What are you talking about? I get meat at least three times a week. More if I eat with Princess Luna.”
Snowball regarded him with a slack jaw and his wings buzzed with annoyance.
“What?! Why don’t I get meat then?”
Scalpel’s irritated glare at the loveling shifted to a smile.
“Well, technically Elias has been diagnosed by me to need meat as part of a nutritional diet. Since you joined the legion under false pretenses, you faked all of your results to be that of a standard pegasus.”
His smile widened.
“And when I found out and offered to re-do your physical you refused, which means no meat is on order for you.”
Snowball shrank slightly.
“No way was I doing another physical. You’re worse than Blush and Flush.”
“Blush and Flush?” Elias echoed.
“The hive doctors,” Snowball explained with a shudder. “Very invasive pair of lovelings, but they’re nothing compared to Doctor Scalpel.”
“I was only more intense with you because some of your specimens decayed too fast,” the unicorn said. “If you had just been honest from the beginning, we could have avoided performing more than one rectal exam!”
Snowball shuddered again, while Elias regarded the unicorn with a look of disgust.
“Remind me to find a new doctor.”
Scalpel scoffed.
“Oh please, it’s perfectly healthy. The only reason I never performed one on you was because I believed at the time that you might try to kill me. I know better now.”
He waved a hoof.
“We’ll do a proper battery of tests when we get back to Canterlot. I’ll have your body in the best shape it’s ever been!”
Elias’ eyes flicked up.
“If it looks like I might survive the march, just stab me in the neck, okay? He’s not going anywhere near my butt.”
Snowball smiled.
“Sorry General, but no can do. Butts aside, I need you for snuggles. We still have a love donator application to go over together.”
Before Elias could truly begin to scowl at the loveling, the gryphon presented the human with his hamburger. Elias closed his eyes for the briefest of moments, savoring the smell of the greasy piece of meat, then snatched it away, taking a massive, savory bite. The gryphon looked up to Snowball, who eyed the other hamburger with hungry eyes.
“Four bits bug.”
Eight dropped into the bucket, and Elias felt a splash of grease dribble down his head as Snowball’s jaw unhinged like a snake, taking the entire burger in a bite. Snowball moaned, and his ears flickered, then his eyes snapped in and his tongue flicked out, lapping up any remaining spots of grease. When all was clean, Snowball stared the stunned looking gryphon down.
“I paid eight; give me another.”
The gryphon grinned.
“Fair ‘nough.”
The gryphon went back to his grill, and meat once more began to sizzle. Elias took a second bite of his burger and looked down to Scalpel, who looked green. Elias glanced up as he felt the sensation of a tongue on his forehead, and he found Snowball lazily licking some stray burger juices. When the loveling’s eyes met his, Snowball grinned.
“I’d say sorry, but it’s been awhile, and I’m ready for meat. As much as I can get.”
Elias stared at him for a moment, then decided it wasn’t worth the fight. Besides, another pony who liked meat was a rarity. He shrugged and finished off his burger, then looked over the meat stand. Unfortunately, he wasn’t particularly in a steak mood, and the stand sold almost entirely beef. Still, he had plenty of bits, and the march was going to be a long one…
All Elias had to do was look at a particular piece, and the gryphon seemed to know whether he wanted it or not. When he did want a particular piece, the gryphon moved away from the grill, quickly scooping the meat up and wrapping it in paper, before moving back to turn the burger. Said burger was quickly joined by another as Elias tossed four more bits into the bucket, absently wanting something to chew on while he did his long-term meat shopping. There would be no meat on the march; it was simply too heavy to carry for one person’s use. He was going to largely subsist on bread, water, and the occasional vegetable soup, just like his legionaries, with the only difference being that his bread was made from wheat instead of hay.
Scalpel drifted away to look at some of the other nearby stalls while Elias shopped. He selected a few more choice cuts of steak, as well as a few chicken legs to be preserved, then, as he began looking over the jerky, Anyon made his way through the crowd, a smile on his beak despite the bloody cut sitting on the bridge of his nose. Elias spared a glance to the bird.
“Finished?”
Anyon shook his head.
“Nah, Alys told me ‘bout some other shops worth lookin’ at fer the both of us. Paid him fer a few wagons ta follow us.”
He sniffed and looked toward the meat stand, then drooped slightly.
“Ah, ya started without me.”
Elias rolled his eyes.
“Please, this is only the first stop. I’m just getting some snacks for the road.”
“210 bits,” the gryphon said as he finished rolling up Elias’ meat into a brown paper sack.
The human handed over two-hundred and fourteen bits, giving Anyon his burger as the vendor gryphon put another patty on the grill. The one-eyed gryphon immediately straightened and smiled happily as he tore into the hamburger, and he glanced up to Snowball as the loveling went at his second burger with slightly more decorum than the first.
“Got us a joiner?” Anyon asked between bites.
Elias nodded.
“I think so.” He glanced up to Snowball. “How about it? Want to spend a night eating meat, getting drunk and browsing weapons?”
“That combination sounds kind of dangerous…”
Anyon snorted.
“That’s what the pony’s for. Keep us from stabbing any eyes out.” He squinted into the milling crowd. “Wherever he went at least.”
“I’m here,” Scalpel said, barely squeezing past a pair of minotaurs.
The stallion stumbled, but managed to keep himself upright, as well as keeping his vegetable kebabs out of the dirt.
“I just had to get something to eat,” he said, shooting a dirty look over his shoulder. “But people here are mean and won’t let me pass.”
“If ya ate some meat you could make ‘em move!” Anyon squawked.
Scalpel shivered.
“I’ll pass, thanks.”
Anyon scoffed.
“Bah, bet ya ain’t never tried even a little meat. Most ponies ain’t, ‘specially not point-heads.”
Scalpel regarded the gryphon with a scowl.
“I think I’m beginning to understand why you don’t have friends.”
“Don’t let the old featherbrained buzzard get to you Doc,” Elias said, finally turning away from the meat stand as he was handed his burger in one hand, and his package of meat in the other. “He just talks like everyone should, but most ponies don’t. It’s all play.”
Anyon popped the last piece of his burger into his mouth.
“Sorry,” he said, not sounding at all apologetic. “Kinda forget that ponies got soft tongues to go with the soft fur. Didn’t mean nothin’ by point-head.”
Scalpel sighed and bit his food.
“Forgiven,” he muttered. “And to answer your question Anyon; no, I haven’t tried meat. It’s not good for ponies. Clogs up the arteries, doesn’t digest properly like hay or grass, it’s just not pony food.”
Anyon grinned.
“Ah, but it don’t take much to get a liking for it. Just a little taste won’t hurt.”
Scalpel shot the gryphon a look.
“I’ll pass.”
Elias passed half of his burger up to the loveling atop his head, knowing full well what the look in Anyon’s eye meant. It was a look he knew well, but usually associated with ponies trying to cuddle him. Anyon was going to try to get Scalpel to try meat before the night was out, and as the unicorn polished off his vegetables, Elias passed the gryphon a small wager. Anyon’s grin widened and he dropped four more bits in the bucket.
The sound of a packed bar filled Elias’ ears as their party stumbled in. Snowball sat cradled in his arms, love-drunk to a point that he would only occasionally burp his way out of his stupor. The loveling had gorged on meat with them, but had soaked up so much love that he had largely fallen asleep by the time they had started bar hopping. So he slept, burping himself awake, only to fall asleep again.
The rest of the party were doing alright so far. Gray Granite had found his way to their side while in their first bar, and with Scalpel acting as the designated guide, Elias, Granite, and Anyon had sampled booze from all over town, even some gryphon vodka, despite Scalpel’s protests.
And so they fell into seats in their final stop of the night. It was the bar Storm Chaser had recommended; the Festering Water Hole. Unlike most of the bars they had stopped in, this one had a healthy crowd of guardsponies and legionaries, likely because it was close to the town exit. Even those who had shown disinterest in visiting Bordertown could enter the bar through a “secret” back-door.
Scalpel led the group to one of the few empty tables, helping Elias put Snowball in a seat where the loveling could rest. The white bug-pony let out a moan as he left the human’s arms.
“No…” he whined. “Need my love sponsor… Black Streak is gonna steal him…”
Elias squinted and looked around the bar, locating the Lunar Guard. The white maned pony looked his way, and his teeth grew slightly as he raised a glass. His eyes flickered, becoming purple like Snowball’s for a moment, before resuming their normal state. The pony then fell easily back into the conversation at his table, pretending as if Snowball didn’t exist.
Elias prodded Snowball with a finger.
“I thought you left your kin in Canterlot.”
Snowball swiped at the offending finger.
“Streak is staying in Bordertown,” the loveling mumbled. “Greedy bug isn’t going to swipe my sponsor. I’m a prince…”
His words trailed off as he curled into a snoring ball of buggy fluff. Elias’ slightly addled mind caused him to fixate in a glare at the soft fuzz of the loveling’s rising and falling chest. He wanted to shake the loveling awake and tell him that he wasn’t anyone’s love-sponsor, but by the time that he worked out that that would be a bit cruel, especially to one of his only remaining friends, he was already in a seat with a tall glass filled to the brim before him. Anyon sat opposite him, while Granite sat to his left. Scalpel sat with Snowball at his right, holding a small glass of water in the air as Anyon let out a squawk of a toast.
“Cheers lads, to a great day!”
Elias and Granite clinked their glasses against his, echoing his cheer. Then all three were leaning back, downing their drinks with ease. Elias was the first done, and he slammed his mug to the table top.
“Damn was that good,” he burped. “That’s an apple cider with some proper burn.”
The waitress, a white and blue pegasus, scooped away his mug with one hoof before replacing it with a filled one in a single motion.
“That is what’s called a Triple Threat, it’s a Bordertown special mixing apple cider, filtered minotaur mead, and a touch of gryphon vodka for the spice” the mare said with a smile and a wink. “And you boys can have as many as you like. Captain Chaser set up a tab for all the visiting guardsponies. Just don’t start any fights, and we’ll see that you’re all taken of.”
Scalpel glared daggers at the waitress as Elias happily took up his new mug.
“Nopony is checking age, do you realize that you just served that poison to a minor?”
He immediately hissed as Elias kicked him under the table. As Scalpel began to glare at the human, the waitress let out a laugh.
“Please, as long as nobody dies and taxes are paid, Captain Chaser turns a blind eye toward everything else. This place would be a warzone otherwise, and nobody wants that. Dead bodies are bad for every business.”
She nodded toward the bar, where a unicorn with a white nurses hat sat nursing a cup of coffee.
“Besides, we have on-hoof medical staff. Even liver failure won’t be immediately fatal here. It’s all up to Bordertown code, I assure you.”
Her grin took on a sharper glint.
“Also, if you try to drive away my paid-for customers and give my business a bad rep, I’m going to shove your horn so far up you butt ponies will call it a screw-head special; got it?”
Scalpel gaped at the mare, while Anyon let out a guffaw and finally slammed his mug down.
“Ah’m comin’ here again as soon as the youngblood gets back! ‘bout time I found a place away from all them prissy ponies in Canterlot.”
He flashed a dazed smile at the apparent bar owner.
“Say, yah got any bulk buying? Mah sources are startin’ to get a bit pricey.”
Elias tuned out as they began chattering about the logistics of shipping booze. He grinned at the sulking Scalpel, then looked to Granite, who was still as of yet, quiet. The earth pony’s silvery eyes seemed lost in his half-downed mug of booze, and it took a prodding from Elias to jump start his attention. The earth pony’s eyes shot to Elias, who smiled back.
“You alright there Centurion? If you need to pass out like Snowball, then by all means go for it. I can always carry two.”
The earth pony blinked, then shook his head.
“N-no General, I’m all good. Just… zoning out I guess.”
Elias scooted his chair closer to the earth pony, then let out a sigh and leaned back, kicking his feet up on the table.
“And do you do that often Centurion?” Elias asked.
Gray Granite shrugged.
“I don’t know… I guess? It’s not really something I worry about.”
“And what do you worry about?” Elias followed up. “We’ve known each other for months now, and I can count on you as one of my closest confidant and future friends, but what do you do outside of the legion? What are your hobbies, your dreams, your aspirations?”
Granite smiled nervously and sipped at his mug.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Elias could easily sniff out the deflection, but decided that maybe answering would be the best method of drawing the earth pony out.
“Well, dating a certain blue mare is on the table, as is being spoiled rotten by your superior officers. Job wise, I may continue being a general, but maybe not. Hobbies; I like to read. The rest is legion related.”
He upturned his palm at Granite.
“You?”
Granite kicked his legs nervously, then, when Elias didn’t let him hide behind a non-answer, he let out a sigh and stared at his mug.
“Being honest General… I have no idea. Being a guardspony really called to me, and being a centurion is the first thing I’ve been really good at. I just like… being I guess. I like letting First Centurion Night Flash be kind and funny, and I like listening to Strategist Shield rant and rave about this or that historical fact you told him, and I love to listen to your stories, rare though they are.”
He shrugged and met Elias’ gaze.
“I dunno General. I guess I relax by doing nothing at all. It’s nice I guess.”
Elias nodded and looked to the ceiling.
“Interesting. Tried to pick up any easy hobbies?”
The earth pony remained silent again, and a glance down found him blushing, staring hard at his glass. Elias’ grin widened.
“Spill Centurion. They’re not listening.”
He jabbed a thumb to where the bar owner and Anyon were having a heated bargaining session. Scalpel was trying to mediate, but was failing spectacularly as the two shouted at each other. Elias shifted his eyes back to Granite, who squirmed nervously in his seat.
“It’s…” the earth pony shook his head and looked away, “it’s really lame. I’d really rather not tell. I don’t want to seem like a loser to you.”
Elias dropped his feet from the table and leaned in with Granite, dropping a comforting arm over the pony’s withers.
“Centurion, you’re looking at a guy who is an avid Daring Do fan, a historical nerd to rival Scarlet, and who is known around the castle for being cuddly despite my best efforts. I can assure you that whatever it is, I’m already a lot lamer than you.”
Granite’s head whipped around, and, perhaps stirred on by the drink in his hooves, immediately bellowed;
“No you’re not, you’re the coolest, most awesome pony I know!”
Elias leaned back slightly, wincing away the spittle attempting to fly into his eyes. He ran a hand down his face as Granite cringed back in the sudden silence of the bar. Even Snowball’s head rose for a moment, his ears flicking with intensity. Then the loveling laid back down, rolling over in his seat and letting out a happy sigh that seemed to be a signal for sound to resume. The human chuckled as the earth pony let out a whispered ‘sorry’.
“Now you have to tell me,” the human whispered back as normal bar chatter resumed and Anyon and the bar owner finalized their deal. “I’d hurry before you draw focus again.”
Gray Granite out let out a long breath, then, his eyes flicking from Elias, to his mug, then to Elias again, he let out another.
“I… like playing Ogres and Oubliettes.”
Elias stared at him blankly. Granite took the silence as a bad thing, and his ears folded against his head. He buried his muzzle in his hooves and let out a slight whine.
“I’m sorry General, now you know your centurion is a total nerd. I’m supposed to be a super tough rock farm pony who became a cool guardspony, but I play a silly nerd game. I understand if you want to cut me loose to save your reputation before anypony else finds out.”
Elias blinked at him for a moment, waiting for more. When nothing was forthcoming, he bluntly said;
“I have no idea what that is. Is it like magical chess?”
Granite blinked at him in reply, as if he was trying to discern if Elias was joking. When he gleaned that that was not the case, he smiled. He polished off his glass, then leaned over and nuzzled Elias’ chest before leaning back.
“I’m definitely getting you in on my next session when we get back,” the earth pony whispered. “You’re really going to shake things up with White Mage.”
“Woah now, I haven’t agreed to anything,” Elias said.
Granite grinned.
“Oh but you have to try at least one session! Trust me, with the right group of ponies, it’s the best game ever! White Mage is the best dungeon master I’ve ever played with!”
Elias finally found the pony fully in his lap and bracing another mug as he began to babble on about O&O.
“We didn’t even know who she was, that’s how close she likes to play!. And in my home town, here was this one group where, during every session, we would have a half time and play a round of hoofball to get our blood running!” Granite spouted.
Taking a large breath, the earth pony immediately continued, not letting Elias get a word in. The human suppressed a sigh and instead took happiness from seeing the pony smile, and having a free lap warmer. He ran his fingers down Granite’s fuzzy back with one hand, while the other assisted him in polishing off another mug. The empty glassware was instantly snatched away and replaced with a fresh one.
Elias glanced toward the bar owner, who winked and grinned knowingly as Granite continued to talk his head off, starting to go in-depth into the basics of the game. Seeing the happy, almost giddy smile on the stallion’s muzzle, he decided to listen, doing his best to keep track of the stallion’s ramblings. To do so though, he was going to need a bit more mental foundation…
He leaned back in his chair and sipped at his mug, letting the booze do it’s work, softening up his brain for a nice, excited lecture.
*****
It had taken just shy of an hour for Gray Granite to peter out on his O&O talk, and though it sounded a touch boring, Elias had agreed to at least give the hobby one genuine attempt. The earth pony had returned to his seat, pleased as peaches and more than slightly buzzed. Such were they all.
The bar owner, Elias later learned her name was Aquamarine, had kept the supply of drinks consistent, with the glasses never spending more than a minute empty. It was almost suspicious how lightning fast her service was, but seeing as none of his friends had, yet, blacked out from the onslaught of alcohol, he believed everything was fine, and that the mare had just been very well payed by the town guard captain.
On the table was a no-bets game of poker, one that Elias was winning soundly. Apparently his game nights with Nightshade and Luna had made him an above average card player because according to Scalpel’s score count, he was winning handily. The hand they were playing would be no different.
“I raise six points,” Elias said confidently, his normally serious facade disturbed by a drunken grin. Even his higher than normal tolerance was being matched by endless volume and he sipped at his freshest mug as the other players made their moves.
Anon grumbled for a few moments. His eye flicked toward the empty mug beside him, then back to his cards. After a second he flapped out of his chair, throwing the cards facedown on the table.
“Gotta pee. Ah’m out.”
Elias looked to Granite. The pony had his tongue sticking carefully out as he stared at his cards. The human and the unicorn next to him both waited patiently as Granite tossed his head side to side in thought. After a few moments of careful deliberation and another pass from his mug, Granite wiggled in his seat and met Elias’ eyes.
“I’ll call.”
Scalpel grunted as he marked down another few scratches in his notepad.
“Alright then ponies. Show them.”
Elias laid out his cards carefully, full confident that his three kings would secure him the day. Somehow he had gotten all face cards, with the last two being a queen and a jack. The odds of Granite having anything better was…
Granite proceeded to lay out a royal flush. Elias stared blankly at the cards.
“Gray Granite wins the pot,” Scalpel announced. “And since you all said that you wanted this to be the final round, that makes him overall winner by… six points precisely.”
“Huh,” Elias grunted. “Good job Centurion. Good thing we didn’t bet. Luna would have cleaned me out.”
The earth pony chuckled sheepishly.
“Actually, speaking of cleaned out, I think Anyon was right. I’ve gotta go.”
“Likewise,” Elias agreed. “Anyone else?”
Snowball rolled over in his chair and extended his hooves into the air.
“Me,” he moaned.
Elias scooped up the loveling and made his way with Granite toward the bar exit. Over his shoulder he shouted;
“Scalpel get us a fresh round of drinks! If I can still walk in a straight line, we haven’t had enough.”
A round of cheers echoed the sentiment throughout the bar, while below the noise, the yellow unicorn let out a slight sigh as he raised his hoof for more drinks.
Elias pushed past a trio of minotaurs entering the bar, setting Snowball down to walk on his own as they looked for an area to relieve themselves. The loveling sniffed the air, then tottered around the bar. Elias and Granite followed, finding Anyon relieving himself beneath a simple wooden sign that said “Don’t plug the drain.”
A dirty steel trough sat along the building, and from the smell, it had clearly already seen use. Still, nobody complained as they went about their business. Snowball trotted past the trough and buzzed his way onto an empty, rotting barrel.
Then he began to spit. Elias watched him curiously as they all finished, and it was only after they were all prepared to head inside that he voiced his question at the still-spitting loveling.
“What are you doing over there?”
Snowball’s purple eyes shined in the low light as he looked Elias’ way.
“Lovelings and changelings digest love just like food, except we can’t pass it the same way. Instead the waste is left in our spit.” He turned and spat again into the barrel before continuing. “Changelings are really good at managing their spit, especially since they build their hives with it, and use pods more, but lovelings still produce sticky spit, and I still need to dispose of spit on a daily basis. I usually do it in a spot that gets good rainfall. Helps it degrade faster, and since this barrel hasn’t been used in a while…”
Snowball’s neck curled in a way that made the other three shudder, and then he spat a particularly fat glob into the barrel. The loveling let out a shudder of his own before hopping down and trotting toward Elias, his gait visibly more stable than it had been. He buzzed up to Elias, and the human caught him. The loveling purred and nuzzled the human’s chest.
“Now I’m free to absorb more of that tasty love!”
Elias did his best not to think about whatever was glowing in the barrel, and instead turned toward the bar, ready to drown freshly inspired sorrows.
*****
Elias felt mead splash his chin as he downed yet another mug. Around the table, an earth pony and a gryphon matched him, thought not to nearly the same result. Anyon dumped much of his drink into his lap, the gryphon on the drunk end of tipsy, while Granite was still holding out relatively well, though he was visibly more personable than usual. His teeth shined in the lamplight as they stumbled through slurred conversation.
Or rather, they had been shining. Over the past twenty or so minutes, the minotaur trio they had stumbled past earlier had become rowdy. Most recently, a “song” had been picked up by the three, causing both Elias and Granite to hold their heads as they tried to ward off headaches. Additional mead helped only marginally, and their nerves were beginning to wear thin.
Snowball sat in Elias’ lap, grunting lightly in discomfort as he tried to hold his ears closed with his hooves. His adorable little muzzle curled in discomfort as a particularly loud, and off-tune cry sounded from the minotaurs, and though Elias began to remove the loveling from his lap to go beat some quiet into the bulls, it was Granite who snapped quicker.
“Would you shut the buck up?” the stallion snapped, his head swiveling around. "Luna’s tears, I’d rather cut my ears off and eat them than listen to you banshees sing one more Celestia damned note.”
Silence fell over the bar like an ocean wave on a lit match; sudden and with overwhelming intensity. It was quickly pierced by Anyon snatching up his mug and raising into the air.
“Amen to that. If ah knew ah was going to be stuck listenin’ to idiots sing, ah woulda stayed in Canterlot.”
A few of the legionaries scattered around the barroom laughed. One of the minotaurs stuck his fingers up in an obscene gesture, his eyes focused on Granite.
“Buck off pony. We’re celebrating the start of a great raiding season. Keep your ugly muzzle shut, or maybe you become a score, yeah?”
Granite responded with a snort, while Elias slowly passed Snowball to Scalpel, who was already looking with nervous eyes toward the door.
“You’re dead if you try fathead. If you fight as well as you sing, I can beat you with four hooves tied behind my back.”
Less laughter filled the air as an air of seriousness began to spread. The minotaur rose slowly from his seat, his horns scraping the ceiling.
“Do you want to die tonight pony? I have killed a dozen of your kind. One more changes nothing.”
Ponies rose from seats, and Elias reached for one of his concealed daggers, but the barkeeper cleared her throat, the sound so loud it sounded more like a muffled scream. Eyes in the bar shifted to her, where she tapped a large sign sitting in between the shelves of booze.
NO Weapons allowed
NO Property damage
NO Interfering in fights
GUARDS not on duty will be arrested for fighting.
Granite let out another snort and waved a hoof to the nearest armored pony.
“Don’t worry about us ponies. This meathead and his friends are going to shut up now, because they know they’ll get their tails ripped out if they don’t.”
“The words of a coward,” the bull spat. “Come prove your words pony. Come put yourself to the test.”
Granite downed the rest of his mug and made ready to stand, but Anyon flopped out of his seat, stumbling across the room to plop down before the minotaur. The bull glared down.
“What do you want bird?”
Anyon’s one eye squinted up at the minotaur.
“Pony’s right. Y’are fat.”
His neck curled, then, with stunning precision, the gryphon spit in the bull’s eyes. Silence again reigned, then Anyon laughed and looked back to Elias, swaying in place.
“Ya see that? Got the ground beef right in his seeing hole!”
Elias rose from his seat, keeping his hands away from his weapons. Getting arrested for smuggling in weapons was probably a bad look for a general. He’d already be getting enough flack for drunken fighting. The room spun slightly, but not enough to throw him off.
Granite rose as well, his teeth set in a smile.
“Kick the table,” Elias ordered. “Scalpel, grab the bird.”
Granite’s smile widened, and he slammed his hooves on the edge of the table. It fell on its edge as the minotaur let out a roar. As the bull raised his fists to strike at the drunken Anyon, Scalpel yanked him away with his magic. As soon as we was clear, Granite sent the table flying across the room with a hardy buck.
It slammed into the minotaur, sending him staggering back into his own table, smashing it, and the drinks that had been stacked atop it, into bits. Elias heard a loud groan from behind the bar.
“Somepony get Captain Storm Chaser. I swear, the one month I don’t pay for insurance!”
Anyon, in reach of Scalpel’s hooves, received a slap to the back of the head.
“What were you thinking?” the unicorn snapped.
The gryphon giggled up at him.
“Was thinkin’ that fat cow can’t sing.”
The bull roared again and kicked away the table. He got to his hooves and let out a snort, the breath so hot with fury that it was visible.
“I am going to rip the wings from the bird and shove them up the pony’s ass.”
“Come and try fathead,” Granite laughed. He looked to Elias and winked. “I call the big one.”
Assuming that the pony’s uncharacteristically chattiness was likely due to pints of mead in his system, Elias looked toward the other two bulls as Granite squared off with the instigator. The pair watched momentarily as the pair rushed at each other, then their small brown eyes shifted to Elias, who spread his hands.
“Any chance we can share a drink and watch?”
One of the bulls rolled his shoulders while the other cracked his knuckles and stomped forward. Elias let out a sigh, but couldn’t help but smile.
“Thought not. Nobody can say I didn’t try.”
He thought about the words on the sign, then eyed up the pair moving across the barroom. Their biceps were easily the size of his head, not to mention that there were two of them. They had sharp horns as well, and from the scars decorating their arms, they were clearly somewhat experienced with fighting. It would only be fair to be armed, and in truth, there was little in his mind that demanded he fight fair. Fighting fair was for corpses.
Elias’ mouth flickered into a savage grin and he reached under his tunic, ripping free the knife he had sown into his underwear. Lifting a foot let him snatch out a folded baton from his sandal. He flicked it open, and readied himself to fight. The bull that had cracked his knuckles let out a roar and rushed forward, his head lowered.
The knife left his fingertips and plunged into the bull’s arm. He staggered off course at the sudden injury and slammed into a table of Solar Guards, sending them scattering.
The second bull picked up a chair, and as Elias prepared to dodge the makeshift weapon, the bar door slammed open, unleashing a tidal wave of black-clad guards into the room.
“Nobody move!” Storm Chaser bellowed.
A flying mass of meat immediately felled the guard captain, and a glance in Granite’s direction found the earth pony grinning from ear to ear at Elias.
Elias let out a groan as he woke to the pounding of hammers in his forehead. Nails the size of rail spikes felt like they drilling steadily toward the center of his skull, and everything around him felt fuzzy.
As his eyes came awake, caked with filth and gunk, he realized that there was less metaphor to that thought. He recognized instantly the feeling of pony fluff, and he found that he was surrounded by a small pile of largely unfamiliar ponies. He vaguely recognized Snowball’s fuzzy white rump behind him, his tail flicking occasionally as he slept, and he definitely recognized the buzzsaw that was Anyon’s snoring, but otherwise, Elias found that he didn’t know any of the other ponies. A horrifying thought popped into his addled mind.
‘Am I a drunk cuddler?’
The thought that the ponies had so thoroughly gotten to him provoked further horror, and drew his eyes down to the pony his arms. Looking at Storm Chaser’s face, he let out a slight sigh of relief. The answer was no, or at least wasn’t yes. Storm Chaser had promised to cuddle him, and while Elias was unhappy that the pony succeeded, it was far better than the alternative.
He wriggled backward, sitting up so that he could get a good look around. Orange light flickered from somewhere unseen, but it was enough for Elias to tell two things. First, his right side was completely blind, and touching the side with his fingers found a bandage covering numbed flesh. He quickly returned his fingers to their former duty; scratching a pony’s belly, as the pony let out a discomforted, and frankly adorable, snort. The return of the combing fingers kept the pony asleep, however, and his discomfort faded.
With his one good eye, Elias could see iron bars a few feet ahead of him, clearly at the entrance of his cell. Why he was in a cell with a dozen ponies, he didn’t know. If Storm Chaser wanted a cuddle, there were plenty of tents…
Like the chair that had slammed into the right of his face, Elias let out a mild groan as his headache, as well as a memory of earlier in the evening struck him. The bar, the “fight”… He had drawn a weapon, hadn’t he? The guards had kicked in the door, saw the fight, saw him armed… Yes, that made a lot of sense.
Elias looked down at the large stallion in his arms, then decided to give him an awakening jostle to confirm his theory. Storm Chaser snorted himself awake and looked up at Elias with shining, sleepy eyes.
“mmWhat’s happenin’?”
“Why am I in a jail cell?” Elias whispered.
Storm Chaser yawned and closed his eyes, nuzzling against Elias’ chest.
“Hm… bar fight. Two injured, one being yourself. One armed with smuggled weapons, that was also you.” He yawned again. “Arrested all combatants, confiscated weapons, took the bulls to the overnight lockup, took the guardsponies to the barracks lockup.”
Snuggling in, the large stallion adjusted his wings to lay across Elias like a blanket.
“Witnesses report minotaurs as violating local noise ordinance,” Storm Chaser said, snuggling in deeper. “Also, my guards say they were asking for it, and since nobody died, all’s well. They’ll be let out tomorrow afternoon, well after we’ve left.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question,” Elias whispered.
Storm Chaser’s teeth flashed.
“Well, I could have you arrested and booked for the next month for smuggling weapons into Bordertown, or you could get a lovely night’s sleep in a nice, warm, fuzzy pile of ponies and be released in the morning with none the wiser.”
Big pony eyes stared up at Elias, who frowned in reply.
“What’s it going to be General? Sit under house arrest in Canterlot, or go on the march?”
“This is blackmail,” Elias deadpanned.
“A trick I learned living here,” Storm Chaser replied smoothly. “Besides, we both know you enjoy having an excuse. Cut loose; I’ll take care of the rumor mill. Everypony will wonder what dirt I have on you to get you to settle for such a terrible sentence.”
Elias rolled his eyes.
“If you keep talking I’m going to strangle you to sleep. How does that figure into your plan.”
Storm Chaser let out a purr and nuzzled Elias’ chest.
“Your reputation isn’t exaggerated I see. No General, you aren’t going to strangle me, because you want a nice warm night of sleep tonight. Trust me, we both need this.”
“Nerves?” Elias voiced.
Storm Chaser nodded.
“They’re small now, but even I still get the butterflies. Infinite possibilities ahead and all that.”
Elias grunted in agreement and decided to get settled in a more comfortable position.
“Only one outcome if I have my way,” he said. “Fine, you win, but if a word about this gets out, I will pluck your feathers one by one before cooking and eating your wings.”
That got a shudder from Storm Chaser, but Snowball moaned in his sleep. He rose from his place in the pile and his wings changed into large butterfly wings. He softly flapped over the pile before landing and settling on Elias’ face. The human glared at the loveling’s fluff as the bug settled in.
Snowball let out a sigh and nuzzled Elias’ hair.
“Mhmm, no more talking,” he whispered sleepily. “You’re tainting all of the love in here…”
“Get off my face,” Elias growled, his words muffled by loveling fluff.
“Loveling fur is biologically designed to be breathable,” Snowball said, unmoving. “My queen made it specifically that way so we could cuddle our captives better. Hard to call for help when you're being snuggled from head to hoof.”
“What captives?” Elias yawned.
His eyes were already beginning to close under the heavy weight of sleep, and only his curiosity was working against the plush fluff resting against him, his irritation long gone. Why were ponies and lovelings so damn fuzzy?
“Usually gryphons and ponies that get too curious and wander into the hive entrance,” Snowball answered. “We have treaties with Gryphonia and Equestria in those situations. Usually we send them home and their governments take care of it, but sometimes…” he purred and wiggled, rubbing his fluff into Elias’ face. “Sometimes all of our little cuddling tricks convince them to stay to become love donators. From there they live a life of luxury in the hive, acting as wonderful little cuddle-buddies.”
Elias yawned again. He was steadily losing the fight against sleep and Snowball could tell.
“And you, General Bright, should come and visit sometime,” Snowball said, his voice soft as could be. “I’m sure you could become a part-time love donator if I vouched for you. Just a thought.”
“You want me to your self…” Elias mumbled.
Snowball chuckled.
“I can’t deny that, but we’ll see. In the future. Again, just a thought. I won't be hurt either way.”
Elias grunted as the pile seemed to close in around him, smothering him in warm fluff. His last utterance before falling into dreamless slumber was;
“I’ll think about it.”
Chapter 6(9)8.1: I am contractually obligated to make a joke because of the number (Cut Content)
“Ever the historian you are, of course you know; but yes," Luna said. "The title is genuine. My sister and I are the ‘Virgin Princesses’. We have had many close friends and companions, shield-sisters and servants all, all remembered. But a lover? No, not even before our ascension. I would make you my first.” Her cheeks reddend slightly, visible even beneath her helmet. “I apologize if this breaches our agreement, or if the tone of this conversation has become dour, but I cannot assure you of these words enough. I will not forget. You are my friend first. What comes after comes after.”
‘If she thinks the mood is bad, we should change it,’ Other-Elias whispered in his ear.
‘And what do you suggest?’ Elias thought. ‘I’m not a good conversationalist!’
‘Try a joke like she did yesterday,’ the specter suggested.
‘What?’
‘A joke, something funny, lighten the mood, make her smile.’
‘I’m not an idiot, I know what a joke is. The problem is telling one.’
‘Just follow her lead. Hers was word play, so you do the same.’
‘This is going to bomb. She’s going to hate whatever I come up with.’
‘Don’t be a girl, and just do something easy. She said, “what comes after”, so you say-’
“I could make you... come… after….”
As he trailed off, Luna stared at him with wide open eyes, her tail twitching slightly.
“What?” she squeaked.
Elias stared blankly at her.
“What?”
She blinked, then slowly her face became a dark crimson.
“Good day General,” she squeaked out.
Elias gave her a choppy nod, then walked away, mentally slapping his brain for suggesting something so stupid.
Lionheart wriggled through the hole carved in the castra walls by the changelings. He brushed the leaves from his pelt, trying to make himself look vaguely presentable. It was a big night. It was the night he was going to win it all, and he would finally get what he had earned. All that had to happen was his love needed to pass one final test…
“What are you doing out here?” a sharp, female voice demanded.
Lionheart raised his head from combing his pelt to find a firery maned unicorn lowering a spear in his direction. He smoothed back his mane and grinned, his teeth flashing in the dark.
“I will be brought to the command tent,” he said firmly, leaving no room for argument. “Now.”
The mare’s muzzle curled in a snarl, but she nodded.
“Damn right you are. You’re going to explain to General Bright what you were doing outside the castra.” Her eyes narrowed as she glanced behind him. “As well as where your friends ran off to.”
Lionheart’s muzzle curled in a smile.
“That I will, Guardspony. That I will.”
*****
Granite heard Elias coming as he paced outside the castra. His eyes seemed to glow, particularly the damaged one, as he stormed through the brush and into the light of the castra’s torches. Blood and mud covered his body, smeared into a dozen wounds weeping yet more blood. Granite winced as the human stormed past him, a snarl on his face.
“General, what happened, where are the legionaries I sent out?”
Elias stomped over to where the prisoners were being kept, and he ripped the tarp down. Empty sleeping rolls greeted him, and he let out a growl as he spun on Granite.
“Where is Lionheart?”
Granite flinched, but kept his cool. He just needed to be calm, collected. If Elias was talking, he could be reasoned with.
“Let’s go to the command tent and get you fed and treated, then I will personally lead a search party out to find the missing prisoners and bring them back to you while you check on Princess Luna.”
It was risky, baiting him in by mentioning Luna, but Elias’ fury immediately dimmed under worry, and his eyes flicked toward the command tent. His face twitched and his fingers flicked for a moment before he let out a loud sigh and rubbed his brow.
“Fine.”
He immediately set off again, anger still in his steps, but tampered now. Granite smiled and trotted after him, more than happy that he was able to bring his friend back from the brink. Their pace was brisk as Elias made his way to the command tent, but what little calm he had gathered was blown away as the pair heard a certain voice emanating from within. A dark look passed over Elias’ face and he growled as he pushed past the legionaries guarding the entrance and threw aside the tent flap.
All eyes turned to him as he and Granite entered, and in the center of the tent, a bruised, but relatively clean Lionheart glanced his way, a delighted glean in his eye.
“General Bright! How kind of you to join us.”
Elias glared at the unicorn, but something in his tone prevented him from storming forward to wrap his hands around the unicorn’s throat. There was something different in his words, almost… non-malicious, absent their normal snark and barely hidden bile. Given the smile on Lionheart’s muzzle, this was a trap. What kind of trap the unicorn could spring while surrounded by his legionaries, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to fall victim to it. Nobody else was going to die pointlessly. Nobody.
“Why are you here?” Elias growled, his eyes flicking away from Lionheart’s gaze for milliseconds as he tried to find where the ambush would come from. The tent was bare, so it wouldn’t be too difficult to spot, especially with his bad eye. He saw nothing though, pausing only momentarily to make sure Luna was okay. She restated in a daze on her pillow throne with Steel Scalpel at her side, still treating her wound, and while the unicorn looked mildly worried, he didn’t look to be in danger. As his eyes flicked back to Lionheart and narrowed, he continued. “You should be running for the hills after what I just heard.”
Lionheart’s smile wavered, and his brow furrowed. He held a hoof to his chest, as if genuinely offended.
“General, I can assure you that whatever you’ve heard, it is not the whole story. Please, come sit.” His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked Elias up and down. “You certainly need your wounds treated, but we shall have that handled while I listen to your story and confirm or correct it.”
Elias again hesitated to act. This was wrong. He couldn’t hear the slightest bit of sarcasm or disguised hate in Lionheart’s tone. It was as if he was being genuine, something he knew that was impossible. In the months he’d known the unicorn, Lionheart hadn’t shown that he cared for anyone, save for perhaps the princesses, but that was likely for some insignificant reason like status. This was ploy. He looked around the tent, trying to judge what his ponies felt. Most of his legionaries looked wary, and glancing at Granite, the earth pony looked much the same. After a moment of thinking, he looked to Elias and offered a shrug.
“He’s surrounded and you do need healing. It can’t hurt.”
“Of course he does, he’s been through a lot!” Lionheart said.
Elias recoiled as the unicorn strutted up to him and grabbed his hand in his hoof. It was soft, and surprisingly warm, and even though the tug was firm, it held a touch of… gentleness to it. Lionheart continued smiling as he pulled Elias to a chair and sat him down, clicking his tongue with distaste as he again looked the human up and down.
“Oh you poor thing. All of this pain and suffering, marring that rugged handsomeness you have going…” He sighed and shook his head. “It will be worth it though, that I promise you.”
He released Elias’s hand after giving it what Elias imagined was supposed to be a comforting squeeze. His brain was frozen for the moment, unable to process was happening. Poor thing? Since when did Lionheart care about his pain and suffering?
Did he say handsome?
While he sat stunned in place at the sudden… care from Lionheart, the red maned clapped his hooves together.
“Look lively ponies! General Bright needs treatment and cleaning!”
The legionaries all stared at him in absolute silence. Seeing his order going unanswered, Lionheart sighed, looking to the ground and nodding.
“Apologies, I should be more precise.” He jabbed a hoof at Granite. “Get a fresh healer! Doctor Scalpel is too tired, and Elias’ wounds are extensive.” He pointed at Pyrelight. “You, get a bucket with clean water and warm it, see if we don’t have some sponges. I want my human clean and free of any risk of infection!” He next waved at a pony near the tent entrance. “And get food! Elias has had a long, exhausting day and needs the finest replenishment! Make sure it’s fresh, and hot!”
Hesitation was his reply, but Lionheart was quick to crackdown on that as well.
“Snap to ponies!” Lionheart shouted. “Hup hup!”
The ponies, perhaps startled by the direct orders, and their general’s lack of a countermand, did exactly that. They fled the tent in different directions, assumedly off to the tasks Lionheart had assigned them. The red-maned unicorn smiled and nodded at the suddenly emptier tent, then turned and sat before Elias, taking out a somehow unscathed handkerchief to dab at the blood staining the human’s face.
Elias remained paralyzed as Lionheart pulled over a pitcher of water and wetted the handkerchief. What the hell was happening? Was he mad? Dead? And he still couldn’t speak! A strange feeling was bubbling in his chest, and he could do nothing but stare into Lionheart’s eyes as the unicorn scraped the blood from his skin.
Lionheart clicked his tongue in discontent as a particularly large patch chipped away.
“Now, let’s hear what you’ve heard. Whatever it is, I can assure that it isn’t the whole truth.”
Elias’ jaw flapped as he struggled to speak, his mouth dry. He looked to Luna for some comfort, perhaps the strength to break free from whatever was holding him, but he found her formerly dazed eyes suddenly filled with lightning focus, all of it aimed squarely at Lionheart. Whatever weariness caused by her wound was gone, replaced by alert, attentiveness.
A hoof touched his cheek, and it slowly turned his gazed down to meet Lionheart’s happy, amber eyes.
“Talk Elias,” he murmured. “Let’s clear up some things, yes?”
“Clear up?” Elias managed to squeak out, trying to draw up some irritation so he could retake control of the situation. “You sounded a retreat that got hundreds killed or wounded, and now I hear you conspired to bring in an ambush to kill me? I should be throttling you.”
Lionheart nodded slowly, dabbing the cloth into the pitcher again before running it down Elias’ chin, scraping away more filth.
“With only the information you have, I can see why that angers you, and I do apologize for the lengths I’ve gone to draw out the real you, but I must confess, all those actions were not meant to harm you, or any of your ponies!” He sighed, pressing a hoof against Elias’ chest and meeting his angry eyes with his genuine gaze. “If there had been another way, I would have done it, but I needed to clean out the competition, and test you to make sure you hadn’t been corrupted, as well as to see if you could handle the burden of true leadership.” He smiled. “I am happy to note that you’ve passed my tests with flying colors.”
“Competition for what?” Elias sputtered. “And corrupted? What gives you the right to test me?”
Lionheart’s smile didn’t waver as he drew the wet cloth slowly across his chin, clicking his tongue.
“I prefer when you’re clean shaven,” he mumbled. His eyes again flicked up to meet Elias’. “And I claim right of conquest to test you and eliminate my competition. All of those strong blooded, noble stallions.” He sighed and again shook his head. “I don’t share Elias. I never have, and when I want something, I pursue it with fervor. It was obvious to anyone watching that each and every one of the generals was going to steal you away, and with your strength of character, that would have been a waste. You were destined to have everything, to rule.”
Elias shook his head, not willing to harbor the thoughts that were beginning to fill his head.
“What are you talking about? Destined to rule? What is this about?”
Lionheart chuckled and drew the towel across Elias’ flustered lips.
“Oh you silly moneky, I think you know.”
His other hoof cupped Elias’ cheek and he drew closer.
“But let’s stop mincing words, because I’m happy to say you’ve passed my every test. You are exactly what I hoped, and now I lay my claim.”
Elias squeaked as Lionheart pressed forward, forcing their lips together. His first kiss with a pony was stolen away, but suddenly… he didn’t mind. In fact, he enjoyed it as Lionheart took control. The unicorn was an expert, using his broader tongue to force his way into Elias’ mouth.
Lionheart’s eyes twinkled with delight as his human pressed back against him. He grabbed the back of the human’s head, forcing him deeper into the passionate kiss. Elias tensed for a brief second, but quickly fell to his instincts in the hooves of a superior stallion.
Lionheart withdrew, earning a whimper from his human as he smiled.
“That ambush wasn’t meant to hurt you love,” Lionheart purred. “There is precious little competition left, but I will eliminate them, for us, for you. Then you can take your crown, and we shall rule Equestria together.”
It was an obvious choice. Luna was old, damaged. She was corrupted by her peace loving sister, she lacked fire, and passion. Elias, however, he was fresh, unique. He was a battle scarred warrior with victories under his belt, glory that would win him title enough to marry. He was an excellent match, and he was apparently very easy to sweep of his feet. He just needed a potion, and the human would make a perfect bride.
Elias’ face was flush, and he didn’t respond. Lionheart chuckled. Of course the human wouldn’t respond, he’d finally achieved nirvana, but that was alright. He loved spoiling his lover, and he especially loved doing so in front of the competition.
He glanced over at the inferior Luna, his aura bleeding smugness as he took his prize right in front of her, pressing into another deep kiss, savoring the taste of his human.
Luna vanished.
Lionheart saw a shadow move out of the corners of his eyes and he turned to look. He saw nothing, but felt a presence towering behind him. Again turning, he saw a face black with rage. A hoof descended and smacked his head.
Lionheart’s scream was loud, but faded quickly as his body was blown asunder, not a spec of being left in existence as he was banished directly to Tartarus.
Elias floundered in confusion for a moment, his surprise engagement leaving him hanging in space. Quickly he found himself with warm lips once again pressed against his as Luna took Lionheart’s place, pulling him close to her chest. Her horn crackled with magic, and the human disappeared in a flash, replaced by a crimson thestral with a scar over one eye. If the former human cared about his new body or suddenly magical soul, he didn’t show it, merely snuggled into her plush soft fur, screeing happily.
Luna kissed his newly made, adorable little forehead and carried him to her throne. She held him tight as she settled down.
“Mine.” Her tone was a growl, and her fur didn’t quite lose its pitch consistency as she snuggled her new mate tight.
