Shining Armor hates his birthday. This year is no exception.
Shining Armor has always hated his birthday since he was a colt. It always brought back bad memories from his foalhood. Always having to be the man of the house while his father was away at work. He doesn't like this day, and doesn't want to do anything to celebrate this year.
But when his sister Twilight Sparkle wants to throw him a birthday party, he can't say no.
Underneath all of this is a secret he's been keeping, and with a stressful day like his birthday coming up, he isn't sure he'll be able to keep it much longer.
Warning: Contains ABDL/ Age Play themes and content. It's a sequel to a previous ABDL work, so if it's not your cup of tea, don't read it. I added the fetish tag even though this is a nonsexual ageplay fic.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like the month or the time of year. He enjoyed winter and the snow, the hot chocolate and the warm fires. It wasn’t that he didn’t like being the center of attention, because as a public figure, he was used to it. Nor was it about the family members he usually spent it with, as he loved them all deeply.
Shining Armor did not like his birthday because he was reminded of memories he’d tried to bury, and his own feelings of inadequacy.
He could recall many birthdays growing up. And though they were intended to be happy occasions, there was an unseen pressure there. At every birthday in his memory, his father had not been present, typically because he was working. Birthdays weren’t so different from other days in that respect, but birthdays were difficult because there was a double standard. Every other day of the year, he’d had to be the man of the house because his father was gone. But on birthdays he was expected to act and behave like the child he by all means should have been. It was confusing for him, and he didn’t know how to stop himself from being that man of the house. As he’d gotten older, and his sister had come along, he’d become protective of her, and made it his job to keep her safe. A job that by all accounts should have been his father’s. He’d been mature beyond his years, and grown up far too quickly by anypony’s standards, especially his own.
His mother never forgot that day, and when Twilight had gotten old enough to recognize it, she hadn’t either, but he never could shake that sense that it was wrong to be celebrating when he should have been taking care of things. The struggle between child and adult had constantly marred what should have been a special occasion where he could simply enjoy himself. Instead, it just left a bad taste in his mouth.
So, his birthday wasn’t exactly a day he thought of fondly.
It wasn’t until he became a father himself this past year that he’d realized how unfair that had been to be expected of him. But it hadn’t been expected of him by anypony but himself- he just couldn’t see that until then. It frustrated him. That, coupled alongside his lack of childhood and his new daughter served for an unusual coping skill to surface in past months.
Shining Armor enjoyed acting like a baby in secret. He’d found getting to have pieces of what he should have had all along helped him to relax. Age Play, they called it. And for a while, he’d been content with a few toys, some diapers, and his childhood doll, Brutus Force. But he’d longed for a caregiver, and so he’d gone to his mother who, much to his relief, accepted it and offered it to him any time he liked. This had gone on between them for some time, and eventually his wife had found out. He’d been utterly terrified when she’d found his bag of foalish items, but she had surprised him with her acceptance. She’d thought it was cute, and took odd comfort in the idea that he wasn’t all the way grown up. She had wanted to marry a kid at heart for a reason. With her knowledge, he’d been able to do it more. The only pony who, to his knowledge, didn’t know, was his sister. But that may very well have changed in the time he’d been away. His father, as per usual, had been out too much to notice, from what he could gather.
The remnants of a child who had been forced to grow up too quickly clung to those birthdays, and both loved and hated them in equal measure. Love for the fact that for that one day, he should have been free. Hate for the fact that he hadn’t been. And an intense indifference to what should happen on that day. Though the only thing he really wanted was for it to be over, even though he knew his family would want to celebrate.
So, when his sister had sent him a scroll telling him that she was planning a birthday party for him, he’d grimaced, but accepted.
Twilight was proud and excited about what she was planning. And why shouldn’t she be? For her to take a break from her royal duties to plan something special for her brother and spend time with their family was a great thing. She’d catered everything to his tastes, and busted her chops to give him one great day. And it was a wonderful thing. But he couldn’t tell her that it was the last thing he wanted. He couldn’t bear to let her down that way. He was her big brother, and it was his job to protect her, and that included her feelings.
Twilight had planned it all out. He, Cadence, and Flurry would take the train to Canterlot the night before, and go to his parents’ home to stay the night until his birthday. Twilight would meet them there in the morning. They would have his favorite breakfast foods together, have a bit of time to catch up, and have a party toward lunch time. Simple, but easy. And he hoped to Celestia it would be easy, because this day was hard enough as it was.
Nopony in his family knew he hated his birthday. Not his Mother, his wife, his daughter, not even his little sister with whom he’d shared everything as a child. And he wanted to keep it that way, or risk putting all his sister’s hard work to shame and disappoint her. He had to man up, and protect them from his feelings or he’d risk hurting theirs. His strategy of masking his real emotions, one well honed from being a guard, seemed to be working well. Nopony suspected a thing.
He could only pray it stayed that way long enough to make it through the day.
Waking up on the morning of November sixteenth was difficult for Shining.
The train had gotten in later than expected, and he’d been extremely tired. The sunlight streaming through his childhood bedroom’s window had awoken him, and he’d groaned at that. Cadence had ended up sleeping in Twilight’s old room with Flurry so that if he’d wanted to sleep in, he could, and not have to worry about anything. It was, after all, his day.
He’d woken up warm and comfortable under the blankets, and had wanted to go back to sleep, so he’d shifted around to try and settle down again. It seemed, though, that no matter how he turned, the blasted ray of sun seemed to haunt him. He could have used his magic to draw the curtains, but that would have guaranteed him no sleep at all. Using his magic always fully awakened him, and he didn’t want that. So he’d reluctantly moved to hide his head under his pillow.
The darkness from beneath his pillow nearly lulled him back to sleep, but then, thought crept into the comfortable haze of sleep and reminded him of what day it was, and he groaned again. It was his birthday. Physically, his body was now twenty seven. Mentally, he couldn’t tell. Time spent acting as an adult while a child had given him an older mentality as a young colt. Time spent as a one to two year old baby in an adult’s body made him feel very small.
Actually, come to think of it, he felt little. Very, very little.
His mind almost let him sleep again, with thoughts of his toys, a pacifier in his mouth, a snuggle from his Mama. But he mentally slapped himself when his brain- again- reminded him of the date.
No. Stop. We are not doing this today. You have to be big. You have to be grown up. You can’t be little. You have to have a good time today, and make everypony happy because that’s what the man of the house is supposed to do.
He resigned himself to the waking world and started moving in his bed. As he did, he felt his bladder signaling that he needed the bathroom. For a fleeting moment, he thought of how nice it would be to stay in bed and use a diaper if he’d had one on. And then he snapped back to reality and forced himself to get up.
His bedroom had a small connecting bathroom. It had been put in for him as a teenager, and he was very glad it had been. It didn’t have a shower or a bathtub, but a toilet and sink were enough for him. He used the toilet, again feeling a pinch of longing in his chest for a diaper, before he got up and washed his hooves.
There was a small mirror in there, barely big enough to see his face in. When he looked in it, he didn’t like what he saw. His eyes were bloodshot, his mane was bedraggled, stubble was at his chin, and he looked like he’d been run over with a cart full of apples.
Nope. It wouldn’t do. It simply wouldn’t work.
He’d combed his mane, shaved his stubble, and put in some eyedrops to help with the bloodshot, before he carefully washed his face with cold water to awaken him more. It wasn’t nearly good enough to project the happy image he wanted to show, but it was the best he could do. He’d have to make peace with it.
Then, all of that taken care of, he gave himself a mental pep talk before he had to go and greet his family.
Coming down the hall of his parents home, over to the staircase, he wasn’t sure what to expect. It would either be a giant fuss or calm greetings, depending on if Twilight’s enthusiasm was infectious enough or not. All he knew was that whatever was coming, he wasn’t prepared enough for it.
This was confirmed when, just as he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw something flying toward him. Instincts working faster than his sleep addled mind, he put up a shield to protect himself, only to hear an “Oof!” And look to see his sister’s face slammed into it.
His guilt kicked immediately and he let the shield down, helping his sister up. “Twily! I’m so sorry, are you okay, kid?” He asked nervously. He hoped his family would take that as concern for her entirely and not concern that he was already screwing this up not even two minutes into the start of the day.
“Shiny, what was that?!” Twilight rubbed her muzzle.
“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. It just kind of happened. I’m not awake yet.” He had to tell himself to stop rambling or else he’d raise suspicion. “I really am sorry, are you okay?”
“I’m alright.” She smiled. “If I go in to hug you I’m not going to get blocked again, am I?”
He managed a chuckle. It even sounded genuine. “Nope.” He hugged her.
“Happy birthday, BBBFF.”
“Thanks, Twily.”
“I tried to talk her out of it, but you know your sister- She’s too stubborn to let go of an idea when she thinks it’s a good one.” The melodic voice of his wife caught his attention, as she kissed him on the cheek. “Happy birthday, handsome.”
“Thanks, Cadence.”
He looked to see Flurry Heart in her hooves and leaned down to kiss her, grinning as she patted his cheek as if to say happy birthday too.
Cadence chuckled. “Are you saying happy birthday to Daddy, Flurry?” She cooed.
Flurry babbled a response and Shining genuinely smiled. “Thank you, Flurry.”
A small chuckle caught his attention, and his heart leapt into his throat, throat tightening around it. It was the unmistakable chuckle of his mother.
Twilight Velvet came over to him. “It’s my turn now. Happy birthday, sweetheart.” She smiled, and pulled him into a hug.
Shining immediately hugged her back, and had to resist the urge to sigh. He melted into the embrace like butter in a hot pan. Mama had the best hugs! She could make all the bad feelings stop when she was holding him. It took a second for him to mentally slap himself. Mama?! He couldn’t believe he was thinking that. He had to stop that, and man up. He pulled himself from the embrace, though it was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
“Thanks mom.” He managed around the lump in his throat.
Velvet looked like she was about to say something to him, but Twilight cut her off.
“Shiny, Mom made all your favorites for breakfast and we picked up some of your favorites too!” Twilight chirped, dragging him to the kitchen table. Foods were piled high on plates like a veritable buffet. Haybacon, Grass pancakes, eggs, toast, wheatgrass smoothies. It was more than a little overwhelming, and he had to fight not to widen his eyes. He’d known this was coming since Twilight told him the day’s itinerary, but he wasn’t prepared to actually see it happen. It was like seeing a picture of something and then seeing it in real life.
His family was already sitting down to breakfast. Cadence held Flurry in her lap and Twilight and Velvet sat together while he was still standing there, dumbstruck. Somehow, he managed to make himself move, and he sat down next to his wife. As he filled his plate with food he didn’t feel like eating, he caught sight of Flurry being fed and couldn’t help the pang of jealousy he felt at seeing it.
He started eating. He couldn’t afford not to. He needed to have something in his mouth so that he would have time to think up logical answers to his family’s questions. The questions of how life was in the Empire, how the guard was doing, things like that, didn’t take much thought. But the question of “Is there anything special you want to do today?” Caught his attention.
Twilight had asked it, and he’d chewed, purposefully, for a long time to think it over. When he swallowed, he said, “Time to read some of my old comics might be nice.”
Twilight nodded. “Great! I blocked out a half hour for you to do something special in the schedule!”
“That’s great, Twily.” He said, hoping he sounded sincere. He’d managed to shove two plates of food down his throat that he didn’t want in trying to fend off their questions.
After breakfast he was, mercifully, allotted some time to himself. Half an hour, apparently, according to his sister’s schedule.
So he’d gone into his room, and closed the door, locking it. He really did want to take a look at his old comics. If he couldn’t be a baby today, then he could have a little time as a kid, right? Comics were acceptable at any age, at least in his mind.
So, he’d gotten one from his shelf, and started to read. As he grew more enveloped in the story of the Power Ponies (The first issue that he’d gotten for his seventh birthday), he didn’t notice his hoof sneaking it’s way into his mouth as he started to suck on it for comfort. It wasn’t until he finished it that he realized it was in his mouth. He took it out with a wet pop.
What are you thinking?! Stop that! You can’t afford to make these kinds of mistakes today!
He chided himself for it, even though sucking it and reading his comic had made him the most relaxed he’d felt all day. Angry with himself, he got out of bed to get a different comic to read from his shelf.
It was at this point that he made a mistake.
He hadn’t made up his bed this morning, and some of the covers had fallen over one side. His hoof tangled in it, and he tripped, falling flat on his stomach.
For a moment, he was too shocked to do anything. The next, he burst into tears.
All the feelings of shame, of upset, of exhaustion, of anger, of wanting comfort, came pouring down his face. Some distant part of his mind realized that this wasn’t a big deal, and that he was sobbing loudly, but then it reminded him that that really hurt and that he’d enchanted the room to be soundproofed whenever the lock was turned. So he’d cried and wailed, sobbing for his hatred of his birthday, for his wanting comfort, for expectations too much for him to shoulder. And when he finished, he hiccuped a little while, before he realized his time was nearly up. Wiping his tears, he went to his bathroom, and started to wash his face off.
There. He had had the breakdown that had been coming to him all day. Now he could get on with the rest of the day as planned and not have to worry about it anymore, right?
If that was right, then why did he still feel so little? And more importantly, why did the nagging thought of why didn’t Mama come to check on me? Persist in his mind.
He shook himself. “Gotta be normal. Just a few more hours. Just a few more hours.” He told himself, trying to force himself to make it through them.
Steeling himself against his fears of what waited on the other side of the door, he squared his shoulders, and braved the fears outside of his room.
All seemed quiet as he made his way down the stairs, and this made him highly suspicious. As a guard, he knew, when things were quiet, those were the days when things happened. Considering what today was, he was even more paranoid than usual. Adrenaline heightened every instinct in his body, to the point where he thought he could feel every groove in the wood of the stairs he was coming down. His heart began to pound the way it did when he was about to enter a battle, and it wasn’t an entirely inaccurate assumption at this point. He was entering into a battlefield he didn’t want to be on, but like any good soldier, he followed his orders.
He reached the bottom of the stairs. All still seemed quiet. He took a few tentative steps forward, and nothing happened. Maybe he was in the clear and his family was outside? That was a comforting thought.
Alas, it would prove to be a false one.
He decided he might as well get some water from the kitchen, only to find Twilight, Cadence, and Flurry standing there.
“Shining, come outside! Flurry made hoof paintings on the porch!”
He blinked in surprise at something so ordinary coming out when he had expected the worst. “Oh, sure!” He tried not let any relief get into his voice, but he wasn’t sure about how well his efforts paid off. “Where’s Mom?”
“Mom went out for a few minutes to get something. Come on!” Twilight said, and took him by the hoof to the backyard.
The place held both comfort and upset for him. Many of the birthday parties he’d had as a young child were in that yard. He tried not to think about it for fear of his resolve crumbling further, but it was hard not to. A flash of a colorful piñata hanging from a tree, a glimpse of his mother putting a colorful party hat on his head, flashes of cameras taking his picture when inside he’d been dying. He shook his head a little to clear it. It wouldn’t do any good to focus on that now. He turned, and saw several hoof paintings from his daughter drying in the sun. Little hoofprints, immortalized by paint, streaks of bright colors, all a testament to how little she was. He smiled at that, a genuine one.
“These are amazing!” He grinned, looking at the colors. He turned to his wife who was holding his daughter, and kissed his little girl on the cheek. “You’re such a little talent, Flurry!” He gushed. Flurry giggled and crooned, flapping her wings happily, and for a short moment, he felt a smidgeon of peace. Children were a second chance, or so the saying went, and he would make sure he never missed a birthday of hers, unlike his own father.
He gave his daughter a hug and kiss, happy to hear her giggle and squeal. But soon, his anxieties found a way to niggle into that peaceful moment.
He hadn’t noticed that Twilight had gone inside shortly after they’d come out, and now, she poked her head back out of the sliding glass door.
“Shiny, Mom’s back! Come inside!” She called, voice full of good cheer.
The feeling of dread settled back into his stomach as he handed his wife their daughter, and went inside, sitting down at the table at his sister’s instruction.
He was blinded momentarily when all the curtains in the house were drawn shut by Twilight’s magic, and panic made bile rise in his throat. What was going on?!
The answer came not a moment later, when his mother came holding a cake with lit candles, and his family began to sing Happy Birthday to him. When she set it down, though, he was dumbstruck.
The cake was clearly homemade, but the piping around it was almost professional. His heart skipped a beat. Mama must have made that cake. There wasn’t any explanation that fit. Twily could bake and decorate well, but this wasn’t her work, because there were still tiny places where piping didn’t align right, and his sister wouldn’t have allowed that. He’d never seen Cadence bake a day in her life, either. No, this was Mama’s work, and Mama couldn’t draw to save her life. Mama always said she became a writer, not an artist for a reason. Mama couldn’t draw, and she didn’t do it for anypony, ever. The effort she must have gone to to do this for him…
He didn’t realize he was crying silently, tears coming down his face. Mama did that for him. Mama thought he was worth the time and effort. Mama cared about him. The feelings that invoked were so strong he felt his mind going blank in an effort to try and process it all.
When they all stopped singing, he didn’t blow out his candles. He was frozen.
“Shiny?” Twilight’s questioning voice came from behind him.
“Open the curtains Twily.” Velvet said softly.
When she did so, they all saw the twin streams of tears coming down his cheeks. Velvet, of course, reacted immediately.
“Shiny? Are you alright, honey?” She asked, putting a hoof on his shoulder.
Everypony in the room started at the sudden cries.
“What in Equestria happened?!” Twilight asked, alarmed.
Cadence didn’t have time to formulate an answer before Flurry began to sob, feeling her father’s distress.
Velvet reacted immediately, putting her hooves around him. “Shiny, what happened? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” She asked, trying to soothe him. He didn’t seem to register her voice, to engulfed in his own emotions. She held him close. It was only because she was so close that she heard the broken whimpers coming from his mouth.
“Mama… Ma-ma…” He quietly sobbed.
Several clues clicked into place for her at once, like the last few twists of a rubiks cube. He’d been slipping all day and she hadn’t realized it. His reaction downstairs when Twilight tried to greet him, the nervous undertones in his voice, and the hug she gave him that lasted too long to belong to his bigger self. That alone should have tipped her off, and she felt awful for not seeing it. However, there was something calming in the realization, because now that she knew what the issue was, she could fix it.
Her posture shifted slightly, and she seemed to command more authority but without losing her gentleness. She used her magic to pull a chair up beside him, sitting down, and then pulling him into her lap. He reacted immediately to it, wrapping his hooves around her neck and burying his face in her neck as he wept. She wrapped her hooves around him, rubbing his back and hushing him gently.
“Oh Shiny… It’s okay, sweetie. Mama’s here. Mama’s got you, baby. It’s alright now.” Her voice gained the crooning lilt it only took on with him. She kissed his temple, and his body seemed to sag in relief against her. She hadn’t realize how tense he’d been until right then, and it was heartbreaking.
It was much easier for Cadence to calm Flurry down than it would ever be for Velvet to calm her son down. Shining’s sobs were dying down due to his mother’s efforts, but they had nowhere near stopped. Flurry, meanwhile, had seemed to quiet. Cadence was more than a bit shocked by his outburst of tears. She’d seen him upset before, even seen him upset in this mindset before, but this was unprecedented. It was more than a bit concerning to her. However, she had her hooves full with Flurry right now so she couldn’t go to comfort him as she had done a few times in the past. Still, she was confident in her mother-in-law being able to handle things.
That left Twilight, who was utterly bewildered at the scene before here.
“What just happened?” Her voice didn’t sound like hers. It was almost disembodied, as though somepony else were speaking through her. Cadence and Velvet shared a glance, before Cadence nodded.
“Come with me, Twilight. Let’s talk.” She said.
Twilight followed in a sort of daze, and Velvet turned her full attention back to Shining.
“I see you, sweetie.” She crooned, kissing him again. “Mama’s here, and you’re okay. Were you upset, baby? Were you sad?”
Shining peeked out a little from her, eyes wide and spooked as though was going to be swallowed whole by a monster, and nodded.
“I’m sorry you felt so sad, baby. But why didn’t you tell Mama?” She asked, stroking his mane.
The very thought of his failure to live up to expectations today sent him spiraling into full blown tears again. He ruined everything! Everything Twily had tried to do, he’d ruined today because he was a baby. And now she wouldn’t be happy. He started wailing again.
“I sorry!” He wailed.
Velvet was taken aback by the response. This was completely out of character for him. When they were talking, and he was bothered by something, he calmed down enough to talk about it with her if it was an immediate issue. Clearly this was much deeper than that.
“Okay sweetie, calm down. Take a big breath for Mama. It’s alright.” She crooned. But he couldn’t seem to stop. She got an idea, suddenly, and looked at him. “Shiny, Mama has some things of yours in her room. You want to get them with me and we’ll get you comfy?” She offered.
The wailing didn’t stop in the slightest, but she felt him nod.
“Okay. Can you stand up? Mama’s going to take you there. I’ll be with you the whole time.” She promised.
He sniffled. He didn’t want to let go, but he also wanted to see what she had for him. Giving up comfort for more comfort. In the end, he wouldn’t lose, but it was frightening to think about.
Velvet didn’t rush him. He’d clearly had enough on his mind already. Hopefully she’d find out what had caused all this, but when he was calmer.
Slowly, cautiously, Shining got up from her lap. Carefully, she took his hoof in hers as was their custom in these times, and she led him to her room. She went slowly, matching his pace rather than setting one as she usually did with whatever walks they took. He needed her to meet him where he was at the moment. He looked so frightened and upset that it took everything she had not to grab him into her arms and hold him and kiss him until he was okay. But she couldn’t. Both because her back would protest it, and because there were things that needed to be done now, ministrations that needed to be performed in order to calm him down.
Pulling out a box under her bed, she got out diapering supplies for him, a pacifier, and a perfect replica of Brutus Force, who she duplicated while he’d been napping one day. She slipped the pacifier in immediately, and he snatched Brutus from her magic, cuddling the stuffed friend that had always given him such comfort. Velvet smiled, laying out a changing mat for him on the floor and putting powder, wipes, and a fresh diaper beside it, as she saw him slowly calming down. The pacifier frantically working between his lips at first was gradually slowing down, and his vice grip on Brutus seemed to loosen a bit. She gave him a reassuring smile as the final piece of the picture had yet to be painted. She patted the changing mat to have him come lay down, and spoke.
