Deep Insecurities
I woke up in my bed. It was time for me to raise the Sun. I went over to the balcony and raised it. After I finished raising it, I could see houses in Canterlot having their lights turned on. A new day had started. I then went over to brush my mane. When I was done, I exited my room and headed straight to the kitchen to have breakfast.
When I entered the kitchen, I saw Luna. She looked sleepy as usual when she finished her night duties. She goes into the dream realm and helps deal with their nightmares. She also helps them face their fears.
I love my sister. I love her more than anything in this world.
When she became Nightmare Moon and when I had to banish her, I was devastated. Everything in Equestria was so stressful without her. I missed her everyday. When it was nighttime, I would always cry over the loss of losing her.
It was painful. I never let any of my subjects know about my pain.
Until one day, that is.
A long time ago, back when my star pupil Twilight Sparkle was a filly, she heard me crying. I tried to lie to her, saying that I was fine but it was no use.
She already knew.
That was when I finally let somepony in. Letting somepony see my pain. After so many years of crying to myself, I finally had somepony come into my life and comfort me.
It was one of the best things that ever happened.
Speaking of which...
Recently, me and Luna got into an argument since we didn't feel appreciated enough for what we did. Thanks to a pony named Starlight Glimmer, our problem was solved.
But it wasn't just solved... there was more to it...
She switched our cutie marks. I got to do the night shift and my sister got to do the day shift. That meant I had to do what my sister always had to do. Help save ponies from their nightmares.
And honestly, it didn't go so well...
While I was looking for ponies who were having nightmares, I saw Starlight having one. When I went to go help her, it caused her to say this.
Going with my gut was the wrong call! I was supposed to bring you two closer together, but I've only driven you apart! If you can't see why you two need each other then-
That's when everything took a difficult turn.
My sister's evil side came into the dream. I put a forcefield on myself and Starlight.
I thought I could handle everything, but I guess not...
I know how to handle Nightmare Moon...
Could it get any worse? I guess it did.
Yes, but can you handle... ME?
That was when my alter ego appeared.
Her name was Daybreaker.
Daybreaker had taunted me in Starlight's nightmare. This also wasn't the first time I saw her. She appeared in my dreams a few times. That's how Luna knew her.
My own anxiety mixed with the dream...
Just then, the evil side of me revealed the deepest thing I was insecure about.
My power.
I was always insecure about my power.
Deep inside you know how powerful you are...
She wasn't wrong. I am more powerful than I look. I just don't show that I am more powerful. I hold my power back. I do it because I don't want to hurt my subjects. I don't want to be seen as a monster.
I don't want to BECOME a monster...
Other than that, I owe a thanks to Luna for helping me defeat Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon.
The nightmare finally ended. I was now in the kitchen with her. Everything went back to normal.
"Good morning, sister!" I said to my sibling.
"Morning sister," she said, yawning.
I could still see the sleepiness in her eyes.
"Tired?" I asked.
"Yeah," Luna replied, chuckling. I chuckled as well.
"Well, you should get some sleep after working so hard in the dream realm," I told her.
"You're right," Luna said. "Goodnight, sister... or good day..."
I laughed.
Just then, a guard entered the kitchen.
"Your highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle is here to have breakfast with you," the guard told me.
I forgot that Twilight was having breakfast with me! How could I have forgotten? Oh well. I guess it doesn't really matter now.
"Alright, bring her in," I said.
The guard then left and Twilight came in. She had that smile on her face like she had as a filly.
Honestly, that smile brought back such good memories.
"Hi, princess!" Twilight said.
"Hello, Twilight," I said, giving her a smile.
Just then, she brought up something that I didn't expect her to bring up.
"So... I've heard about what happened... you know... with the dream realm and an evil side of you called Daybreaker..." she said.
My smile faded from my face.
"You... did?" I said shocked.
"Yeah, Starlight told me?"
Of course... Starlight is the one who helped me and my sister after all...
Suddenly, Twilight gave me a concerned look. It was that same look back when she was a filly.
More memories.
"Celestia? Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm fine..." I lied.
But she wasn't buying it.
"Celestia, come on... tell me..." she pleaded. "You don't have to lie... you don't have to be afraid..."
I gave up and decided to tell her the truth.
"Twilight... I'm insecure..." I confessed.
Twilight's eyes widened.
"You are?" she said.
I nodded.
"About what?" she asked.
"About... my power..." I replied.
Twilight looked confused.
"Your... power? What about it?" she asked, confused.
This is it. I have to reveal everything to her.
"Twilight... I'm more powerful than you think... I just... don't show it... I hold back... I hold back because I fear about hurting ponies... I don't want to be seen as a monster... I don't want to BECOME a monster..."
After I told her, her expression turned into a saddened and shocked one. My words must've hit her hard.
"Celestia, you are NOT a monster!"
I could tell her voice was breaking.
"I love you for who you are... no matter how powerful you are... you've always felt like a second mother to me... so please... don't feel this way about yourself..."
I could feel tears running down my cheeks. Her words hit me so hard. They made me feel so much better. I'm so thankful to have a former pupil and friend like her.
I then pulled her into a hug.
"Thank you..."