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by rainbowloyalty

First published

Twilight considers the question of where we truly belong. The answer doesn't answer anything.

Where do we truly belong? Is the home we were raised in our true home? Or does our home evolve over time?

But seriously. There is no simple explanation to all this. Trust me.

Prologue: Night

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It was night. Twilight loved the night. The night was always so peaceful, so quiet compared to the noisy day. No rambunctious ponies chatting, laughing, and when it came to Pinkie Pie, bouncing noisily in the streets. There weren't any strangers coming in asking for the newest book in the Chronicles of Radiance series, or friends inviting her to a picnic. This was the time of the day when she could read her books without any fear of distraction. She smiled a little as if she just remembered a funny story a friend of hers once told. Actually, it was more than likely that was the actual reason she was smiling. Just laughing at a joke she repeated to herself. Once every twenty-four hours, Twilight took solace in the removal of the weight of the day from her body.

Through the open window, a cool summer night breeze sailed into the treehouse. It, along with the reliable chirping of crickets, provided a near perfect study environment. There now was time to think, to just read and periodically stare out into the open blackness pondering what the rest of the world was doing. She imagined, all over Equestria, there were ponies just like her, studying under Luna's peaceful gift. It was a hope that was both impossible and inevitable. Just then, a light gust of wind blew into her residence in Ponyville. The pages of her books fluttered slightly, and even though she had electrical lighting, she half expected the light that cast shadows behind her to flicker slightly. When it didn't, her romantic fantasies were slightly tarnished. Twilight stood up to close the window, but after a moment of deliberation, decided not to. Tonight, the breaths of air that came in through the slightly open window would be even more appropriate than ever. Again, she smiled, sharing a little joke with herself.

With all the bright memories of the many times she had done this before, Twilight levitated her selected reading for the night over to her desk: An Ocean of Air: Why the Wind Blows and Other Mysteries of the Atmosphere by Gabby Trotter. It was a well-written nonfiction book, beginning with measuring the weight of air, and then continuing into topics like the components of air and, of course, why the wind blew. Even though she already knew most of the information presented, Twilight still found the stories it told and the way the facts were expressed refreshing. In fact, she even considered recommending this book to Rainbow, because it wasn't as dry as most science-related books, and it focused around a topic that did concern her pegasus friend. Maybe I can finally convince her to read something other than Daring Do, thought Twilight, although she immediately began doubting herself.

However, the effects of the night soon began to affect even Twilight. Despite her usual superior ability to stay awake, her eyelids became heavy, weighed down by her only worthy opponent: sleep. She wanted more than anything to finish the book, to have some sort of closure to the night. But there will always be battles that just can't be won. Powerless to her biology, she fell asleep with her head laid gently on the table, lightly snoring. And with the light still on, and the window still open, she began to dream.

Dream

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There was a grassy field. It was the same field that many ponies sometimes saw in their dreams. In all likelihood, this field was in the middle of nowhere, with green as far as the eye could see in any direction. There was probably no escape from this place; anypony who tried would have probably run themselves to death first. But whatever this place looked like, it didn't feel like it. It felt like the most familiar place in all of Equestria. Because it was. This was a place conceived in the mind, the most personal of all places. As most ponies could trust their minds to come up with something safe and secure, this was the haven away from the harsh realities of the real world. Those who couldn't would probably go insane.

However, by design, there was something strange about this place. Reality was, for the most part, nonexistent here, although more could not have been expected of a place that only existed in the imagination. Of course this place was different from pony to pony because of the basic subjectivity of perception. Words and the ideas they express are never as consistent as they appear to be. Something simple and seemingly universal like the color green could be interpreted in an incredible number of ways. There was something else in this world that made it different from everything that made sense. It was dependent on time and logic and not much else. Some phenomena in the real world didn't make sense if you thought long enough about them: rainbows, for example. But in this world, things just made too much sense. The lack of the little rough edges around things that made them seem normal was missing. The hyperreal seemed surprisingly fake. And the things that didn't make complete sense, time took care of. There weren't any other ponies, so the seasons should not have changed. Yet, over time, they did, from the springtime of a young foal to the eventual winter of a graying elder. And the fields turned yellow when even time stopped believing in what was real.

So Twilight was presented with the same scene almost everypony had seen before, even though it was not quite the same as anypony had seen before. In a way, it was a personalized dream. She saw everything exactly how she wanted to. She saw her idea of what a grassy field was, and her idea of what a gentle hill was, and her idea of what color the sky was supposed to be. How quickly ponies forget that the sky was not cyan or azure but rather cerulean! Then she saw a sun in the sky, and melodramatically gasped at the ironic scene.

Twilight knew this place would be a dreamland for some ponies. Not just because it was part of a subconscious stream of imagination also known as a dream, but was a place they would actually hope to be in. She didn't understand why at all. This strange place was among the most boring places she could imagine. It was just the same in every direction. Well, that wasn't really true. The pattern of grass was ever-changing and the whole thing was probably a dynamic system anyways. Still, it was an infinitely non-repeating field of monotony. She would have much rather been in a library or even a social gathering. This neverending stretch of land was entirely pointless! There wasn't a single thing to do here except wait. As a matter of fact, there wasn't even anything to wait for. Nothing ever happened in this place. Just waiting. She was in luck, because time was the only thing in this entire blasted land that didn't work. So there was no guarantee of how long the wait was going to be. Her own internal clock ticked the seconds away, however meaningless that was. When she didn't have a watch, Twilight could usually judge the time to the nearest half-hour just by the sun, but this hallucination didn't even have a... well it wasn't supposed to have a sun anyways.

And... the sun was setting? How in Equestria could that be? This place didn't have princesses watching over it, and it didn't even exist! In fact, wasn't she the one that was supposed to be in control over her own dreams? She silently cursed herself for a minute, and then cursed the enigma that was behind this perfectly orchestrated chaos that was everything she knew for the time being. The sudden emptiness of the compartment in Twilight's brain labeled "total control" vexed her as much as the feasibility of an infinite world did.

At least this gave her something to do. She chased the fleeing sun, she chased it westward, as if directions mattered in a place such as this one. For a while that could have been either a matter of seconds or a matter of hours, she kept pace, as from her perspective, the sun sank no lower in the sky. But just as she was gaining confidence, the sun began to pull ahead in the dash for the grassy horizon. Just another game of cat and mouse where the mouse was going to win. For one beautiful moment, the sun glowed green behind the glassy cloud covering the ground. Another second later, it was gone, not even emanating the brilliant glows of twilight. The sky was suddenly full of stars. Strangely enough, these stars mirrored the constellations Twilight gazed up at each night. She continued to trot in the same direction, with her original intentions long forgotten, not saying a word, lost in a dream.


She awoke to her head resting on a hard surface. Eyes widening in shock, Twilight noticed that it was still dark outside. Momentarily terrified, she whipped her head backwards to glance at the clock, and the knots tightening inside of her loosened. 3:24 am. I was only asleep for two hours. Getting up slowly from the uncomfortable sleeping position, she lightly ambled over to her trusty lamp, and extinguished it. Then, going over to the window, she took one last look at the darkness outside, this time from the darkness of her own room, and gently closed the window, as not to disturb the peaceful night. Out of habit and laziness and a general feeling of security, she left the window unlocked. After this little nighttime ritual, she climbed into her proper bed, and soon fell asleep once again. A dreamless sleep.

Away

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“Twilight! Where are you?”

Twilight swatted at the sunlight pouring in through the window. With her eyes still closed, she turned her face away from this annoyance.

“Twilight!”

Her eyes opened in surprise, and she was blinded. The noise of Spike calling her in the morning was something completely foreign to her. Trying to gauge her surroundings, she noticed that she was not in bed, but rather at her desk. After a moment of confusion, her eyes focused enough to see the book still open sitting peacefully on the wooden table.

“I’m here!” Twilight tried to shout, but only a weak voice came out.

Spike came into her bedroom with a puzzled look on his face. “You were still sleeping? What’s gotten into you? You always wake up at the crack of dawn!”

Twilight just blearily got out of bed and simply said, “I guess I fell asleep reading last night. What’s the matter?”

“The matter… Oh! You mean this!” He unraveled the scroll that he was conducting in the air with. Spike cleared his throat. “An urgent letter from the Princess…”

Twilight’s eyes widened. She was definitely awake now. “What does it say?”

“Nothing much. It just says ‘Come to Canterlot as soon as you receive this-’”

Before Spike even finished his sentence, Twilight swung him onto her back and was already trotting down the stairs.


Twilight silently stared out the window of the train, watching the verdant Equestrian landscape flowing by. On her face was a slightly troubled look. Canterlot was not yet in sight, and Ponyville had just disappeared over the horizon. Between the two cities lay mostly uninhabited grass meadows. The air was unnaturally still today, as the blades of yellow and green barely shook.

Spike was aware of this silence, and wanted to tread carefully around its fragility. “Don’t worry Twi, I’m sure it’s nothing too bad if the Princess didn’t send her guards to take us to the castle.”

Twilight sighed, partially in anxiety, partially in exasperation. “I know that Spike. I don’t worry as much as I used to because I’ve learned from the couple of… accidents we’ve had.”

Spike took this as a good sign, and inwardly congratulated Twilight from learning from past experiences.

But Twilight had been worrying. Every possible scenario ran through her mind. What if the Princess was in a situation where she could only send such a short note. What if she’s being held hostage? That’s stupid Twilight, the Princess has guards. But it’s happened before hasn’t it? Oh, why couldn’t the Princess have just sent an explanation with the letter? Unless…

Twilight tried to push these thoughts into a well-hidden compartment of her brain, but she always seemed to find them again. Trying to sound as natural and as composed as possible, she asked Spike, “So… why do you think we’re being called on such a short notice?”

Spike could hear the obvious strain in her voice, and he rolled his eyes. “Like I would know. I’m only the messenger. But it seems like we’ll find out soon enough.”

The train rounded a bend and the majestic capital of Equestria came into view. Twilight Sparkle noted that it was still in one piece.

Trying again to set a good example of being calm in the face of the unknown, and failing, Twilight said, just above a whisper, “I guess we will.”


Twilight practically rushed into the throne room. Upon seeing her mentor, she greeted her by shouting, “Princess, all you alright?”

Hearing the voice of her most faithful student, she turned and smiled warmly with only a hint of amusement in her face. “Why of course! It’s a lovely day, isn’t it? I see you’ve received my message and arrived promptly. I apologize for not stating a reason for calling upon you, but I didn’t want you to be troubled on the way here.”

Twilight could only weakly grin and say, “No problem at all, Princess.”

Celestia took on a more solemn expression. “Spike, if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to speak alone with Twilight for a while. I’m sure she will inform you of everything in good time, but for now I would like to ask you to depart for a while.”

“Sure thing, Princess!” A guard escorted Spike out of the room.

She turned to Twilight once more. “I think, for the matters we have to discuss, it would be better if we were in somewhere less grandiose, and where we would be less likely to be interrupted.”

Twilight simply nodded and followed Princess Celestia. They took a short walk down to the end of the corridor, and into an empty room. It appeared to be a conference room, large, but much cozier in comparison with the lofty throne room. A semicircular table dominated the room, with a podium resting at the center. Celestia took a seat and motioned to the seat next to her for Twilight.

After they both got situated, the room was quiet. Deep in thought, Princess Celestia broke the silence by asking Twilight, “Would you like some tea?”

Of course, Twilight replied that she would.

A teapot and two teacups appeared. As Princess Celestia poured the tea, and the sound and smell of steaming water rose into the air, they both seemed to relax a bit, and the air seemed to become lighter.

Celestia began cautiously, “Have you visited your old home recently?”

Twilight felt the sharpness of guilt poke at her insides, and she hung her head. She meant her childhood house, the one she lived in before she became student to the Princess of the Sun. “No, not since arriving at Ponyville.”

This information did not surprise her. “Understandable. You have been busy. Surely you’ve seen your parents since leaving though?”

Not liking where this was headed, Twilight bit her lip. “Oh, yes. Many times. They were at the wedding, of course, and they would occasionally visit me in Ponyville.” As an afterthought, she added, “Are the okay?”

The Princess was quick to reply. “Pardon my memory. Yes, your parents are most certainly fine.” She paused for a second. Twilight opened her mouth as to speak, but decided against it, instead nodding her head to encourage Princess Celestia to continue. “I do bring regrettable news though. Last night, a fire broke out in your parents’ house. They woke up from the smell of smoke, and they managed to escape safely, but the fire was already beyond control. Most of what could have burned in your house did burn. Most of the recognizable remains consists of slightly deformed pieces of your old scientific apparatus.”

Twilight stared at a dot on the wall, dazed by this information. Although there was still so much that remained unclear, she had a priority at the moment. Twilight murmured, “Then where are my parents staying?”

“They are being housed at the castle at the moment. Would you like to see them right now?”