How To Make A Family 101

by Mister Phoenix

First published

Screwball hopes that once her mommy and daddy dance at the Gala. They will finally learn that they love each other. And Screwball can have both of her parents be together.

Screwball trying to get used to her life now. She finally has her daddy (Discord) free and able to come and go as he pleases. And still having to live at her mommy's (Fluttershy) cottage.

It always seem like Fluttershy and Discord are always fighting with each other. Having to watch almost every second of it was young Screwball.

But, she knows her mommy and daddy love each other. And the Gala will show it.

(Note: A different version of Make New Friends, But Keep Discord.)

How To Make A Family 101

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Ponyville. A completely perfect normal run of the mill day, in a completely normal run of the mill town. The birds were singing, the sky is blue, the wet grass from last night rain is green, and a periscope made out of cheese poked out of a couple of completely normal cotton candy bushes….

Wait.

The periscope was locked onto a buttercream pegasus, three pink butterflies for her cutie mark. And she was with a stallion, she was on a date! Laughing, enjoying this dark stormy coat pegasus. Thunderlane.

The watcher spits out a few leaves. A chaotic being, made out of nothing but chaos was just watching her mommy on a date.

Screwball, grind her teeth together. It has been weird in her family. First her father, the Lord of Chaos; Discord got blast to stone by The Elements of Harmony. Then Fluttershy found young Screwball and took the Chaotic filly in as her own daughter.

A little after that, Princess Celestia wanted Discord to be reform. Putting him in the hooves of Fluttershy, Screwball saw it with her eyes. It was love at first sight, they totally didn't hate each other. But just at the end of the year was what ruin everything!

Lord Tirek escaped Tartarus and tricked Discord into helping him steal all the magic in Equestria. Including Screwball! The young filly magic was stolen away from her in a cage created by her own father. Double-crossed, Lord Tirek stole Discord's magic leaving the Lord of Chaos weak, he then saw how powerful The Magic of Friendship really is. Both Tirek and Discord.

But that was months ago. Heck, even Fluttershy didn't want Screwball to stay at Discord realm of Chaos of the weekend. Afraid that her daughter might get hurt. Yet, Discord and Fluttershy still met up every week. The dining room became a war zone for the two of them.

“I spy with my little eye. A stallion pegasus hair is about to catch on fire.” Screwball said, giggling to herself in delight.

Fluttershy took a sip from her tea. Her current date with Thunderlane is fine. The Gala was coming up in a few days, but the pegasus stallion all he did was talk, talk, talk.

The Element of Kindness almost choked on her drink. Thunderlane was in his own world far too much to not even notice that his mane was ablaze.

"Do you smell smoke?" He asked, before feeling the heat from the fire.

Then goes another one. Fluttershy watches the stallion run towards the nearest body of water. Fluttershy glare turn towards the brush, Screwball has been a little jealous with any new pony Fluttershy had met. The cream coloured pegasus thinks it because the chaotic filly doesn't want to lose her mommy.

First, with a mare named Tree Hugger, Screwball turned all the plants alive and cause the Earth Pony to run away in fear. Then it happened again with a stallion that was trying some bad pick up line. Snakes in his mane which is now made out cheese.

One by one. Screwball just laughs while watching the chaos unfold. Discord didn't seem to care, in fact, The Lord of Chaos was proud of his daughter creating mass mayhem.

Fluttershy pulls Screwball out of the brush. Her hooves were covered in red paint, dripping to the grassy ground. The chaotic filly let out a soft nervous chuckle.

"Mom, I swear it wasn't me!" Screwball said holding out her hooves.

"This is the third time you have done this! You need to start behaving yourself, I know I raised you better than this." Fluttershy said

"Are you mad?" The young filly asked

"Not mad. Just disappointed, I know you are a nice filly and you can be better than your father and I. Only if you stop this reckless behaviour." Fluttershy said, her voice was sharp and clear.

Screwball lower her head in shame. "Sorry, mommy."

Fluttershy comb Screwball's mane, a gentle smile on the cream pegasus' lips. The chaotic felly head rested on her mother's soft butter yellow fur.

"Let's go home. Then we can talk about your punishment."

It was a rather silent but short walk back to Fluttershy's cottage. Screwball kept looking towards her mother then shifting her gaze away towards the boring old trees. They needed popcorn leaves or the tree trunk to be made out of springs rather than wood.

Screwball thought she saw Fluttershy's mailbox let out a yelp almost like a dog barking at passing ponies. Did those windows have it out for Screwball's mother, they seemed to be glaring at the cream coloured pegasus.

Fluttershy was sorting through her mail. A letter from Princess Celestia, it must be about The Grand Galloping Gala coming soon, Fluttershy and her friends always go to those events. A bunch of boring suits, stallions and mares, a loving couple dancing together falling madly in love.

Then it hit her, like a ton of bricks. The Gala, it was the perfect moment to have her mommy and daddy share a dance with each other. They finally see that they love each other, get married and Screwball will finally have both of her parents living under one roof.

When the pair of ponies walked in, a loud pop caused Fluttershy to skyrocket towards the ceiling, shaking in fear. Yet, it was only a long talk and annoying Lord of Chaos.

"Daddy!" Screwball cried, rushing to give her father a hug around his waist.

"Hello, my little abomination." Discord said, his eagle claw combing through the chaotic filly's mane.

"Discord. I told you once before and I'll keep saying it until this gets through that thick skull of yours. Don't call my daughter an Abomination!" Fluttershy stomps her hoof in frustration, it looked like stream blew out of her nose.

Screwball noticed how her mother and father speak about her. They never use any words for sharing. "Our" or "We" it was always "Mine" or"I'll" they didn't see the family picture.

The one that Screwball only dreams about and hopes it comes true.

Yet. The fighting has started already. Spit flying out of their mouths as the two of them yelled at each other. Forgetting the fact that Screwball was standing close watching the whole thing.

Words that either would regret after it was spoken. Screwball hung her head, slowly and quietly she made her way to her room. Once there, she'll do the same thing she always does when her mommy and daddy started fighting.

Hide in her room, under the covers. Casting small chaos magic to try and block out all the yelling, and even sometimes the breaking of plates and vases.

...

It was silent.

Screwball didn't even hear the animals anymore. It was all silent. If anything made a sound now, it would cause a loud echo that would ring throughout the cottage.

Her door creaked open, Screwball poked her head out of the bed sheets. The soft butter like turn Pegasus stood in Screwball doorway.

Fluttershy's mane was somewhat wet. Meaning it had something to do with Discord.

Fluttershy sat on the edge of Screwball's bed. The young chaotic filly lay her head on top of Fluttershy's lap.

"Why do you and daddy always fight?" Screwball asked

"It a little hard to explain. Sorry about that. Would you like to be my plus one for the Gala?" Fluttershy asked

The question itself was out of the blue. It caught Screwball by surprise. Wasn't she still in trouble for the totally normal fire?

"What about daddy?" She asked

"I'm sure he'll get his own way in. With or without a ticket."

Screwball then remembers something important. Fluttershy normally forgets that Screwball did something wrong after the Pegasus mare fights with The Lord of Chaos.

"Can we get ice-cream?" Screwball asked, rather excited.

"You're still in trouble," Fluttershy said

There goes her plan.


Why did there have to be dresses?

First, there was the epic war against vegetables. Now there is a second war, a war against all puffy, long, and uncomfortable dresses!

Screwball decided it. And that means the dresses must die. No matter how cute she might look in one of these. Or how her mother would attack the chaotic filly with large and unstoppable puppy dogs eyes.

Still, Rarity made her a dress, forcing the princess of chaos to stand still and do nothing. Nothing! Her, Screwball an Earth pony that can literally fly. Having to stand still and do nothing. It a force against nature!

Also, Princess Celestia gave Discord tickets to the Gala. Rather than sending in a mail pony into the realm of chaos. Any sane pony would they mind with one foot inside. Screwball was forced to be a delivery filly.

Got paid too. Then Fluttershy stole those bits off her daughter and put them after in a bank for safekeeping.

Her dress wasn't even chaotic. It was just a plain normal dress, her mommy just wanted Rarity to make Screwball something simple. So she could easily move around.

Fluttershy must have thought that her daughter would cause untold Chaos at The Grand Galloping Gala.

No, all Screwball was going to do is plan Cupid.

Her plan is already set. It was crazy, and most of didn't make sense. In her mind, her plan was all pictures yet no words following those pictures. One was just a chocolate swimming pool, yeah she definitely needs that in her plan of romance.

At less Fluttershy didn't have a date. That would ruin the popcorn filled with ink that would explode and rain down around her mommy and daddy dancing.

Only a few more days left until her family is finally complete.


The day has arrived. The Grand Galloping Gala is here.

What a wonderful event and evening. The full moon shining down on Canterlot Castle, ponies walking with their noses high in the air. The smell of strong and all types of fragrance filled Screwball's nose.

She almost started coughing at the smell. Then the young chaotic filly bump into some pony. A bit of mud got on to his suit, he didn't seem, please. The anger was shown when his whole face turned a burning red, he was glaring down at Screwball. If looks could kill, then Screwball would be dead ten times over by now.

"You little brat! You got mud on my suit!" The cried out, a bit of his spit land on Screwball's face.

"If you ask me, I did the suit a huge favour. I hate such a good thing being on some pony so dirty." Screwball said, a sly smirk piece her lips.

He was about to start yelling again. But began muttering under his breath, backing away in fear. Screwball looked behind her.

Discord; The Lord of Chaos wearing a bright orange tux with a matching orange top hat. Screwball giggles at the site, yet she wasn't one to judge. Her dress was rather simple, a soft baby blue that flows down her tail. Allowing free movement, with a hairclip of a flower, on her right side. But, Screwball made it change sides randomly throughout the night.

"Hi, daddy!" Screwball's voice was always cheerful when she saw her daddy.

The Gala is hosted on a Saturday night, the weekend where the princess of chaos would stay at her mommy's cottage. Then next weekend, Screwball would live in her daddy's chaos realm.

The royal stallion just ran away in fear. Most ponies were still afraid of Discord after the whole Lord Tirek attack.

"You look stunning Screwy." Discord said, giving his daughter a rather cheesy grin.

"Aw. Thanks, Dad, you rockin' that orange tux well. I would have added a flower that sprays water." Screwball comment

"That's why you're my daughter." His large lion paw messed up her perfectly comb mane.

He snapped his finger, fixing the mess.

"I rather not fight with your mother tonight. This is your first Gala! Mine too, but if you want to live up this snooze fest. We'll see what us two can do."

Well, the Gala was boring, with a capital B and maybe an extra W added some in there 'BoringW?' she guesses. Uptight ponies that most likely never had fun in their lives.

The real problem was that her mommy and daddy wouldn't even go near each other! They would sometimes spend a little bit of time with the chaotic filly. But, soon enough they went their own ways.

Discord even had a dance with Princess Luna! A freaking moon princess.

"Who does she is, Sailor Moon." Screwball mutters to herself. Slightly glaring the Lunar Princess.

Fluttershy stayed close to most of her friends. The cream coloured pegasus didn't really dance with any pony. Well half a lie, Fluttershy did share a dance with Screwball once or twice

But Fluttershy was meant to dance with Discord!

Her plan was perfect. Heck, she even pulls off the whole high wire while playing Hyper Morty Moonshine. Or was it some about Super and Sunshine. Screwball couldn't be bothered to remember, besides those blue coins.

Nightmares for weeks there.

She had enough of this!

Her mother and father love each other! She'll make them love each other, then they'll be a big old happy family.

A surge of uncontrollable chaos energy formed around the princess of chaos. Her swirl eyes sparkling bright purple as she lifted herself off the ground.

The ground began to turn into rubber, sticking every pony into the dance floor. Only a small bit of land was left, it floated above the rubber quicksand ground. Spinning slowly in a circle or sometimes a square. Her dress was sparking, her dress flowing in a non-existing wind.

Discord floated above the ground, Fluttershy was forced on the moving dance floor. Discord fingers were tied together by a bunch of snakes that turned into a strong and unbreakable form of wire.

"Screwball honey. Please, calm down." Fluttershy spoke in her soft mother kind voice.

"Yes dear. I love chaos and all but isn't this too much? You're glowing and not in a good way." Discord said

"I'm just Fine! All I wanted was for my mommy and daddy to dance and then they will fall in love so I CAN HAVE A FAMILY! A real one! Now fall in love!" Her speaking was strange, patterns all over the place.

Fluttershy and Discord looked at each other for a brief second. They were rather silent, Screwball floated in front of them. Close enough, Fluttershy to bring her daughter into a loving hug, tears running down the chaotic filly's face.

"Screwball, you see. Your father and I, we both love you. But, we just don't love each other." Fluttershy said

"But, I don't understand. Why can other fillies and colts have both their parents? Why can't I wake up in the morning late, with dad creating a quick breakfast for me? While you give me a kiss goodbye, or he reads me a bedtime story while you sing me to sleep." Screwball said

"You can't force love," Fluttershy spoke

"But, but, but... This is a FanFiction! They do it all the time, why can't I be happy?" Screwball asked

"Blame the author, he thought it would be a better story like this." Discord said

Fluttershy was rather confused. But, she was training herself to block out everything that Discord says, she been getting good at it too, she was able to get through almost a whole conversion with The Lord of Chaos without listening to a single word he said.

"I know it hard Screwball... But, Fluttershy and I don't love each other. It just the way of life." Discord said

"I still don't understand it. I just want my family to be complete. I don't want a broken one anymore." Her eyes were bright pink, puffy from the tears the ran down her soft pink cheeks.

Slowly, the chaos magic began to be undone. While Screwball cried into her mother's soft yellow fur, feeling her father's eagle claw run down her back. Combing her fur, trying to calm the young chaotic filly down.

"I just wanted a family..." Screwball spoke into Fluttershy's fur.

"And you do. I'm still your mother and Discord is still your father. We both love you, that's why we put up with each other. It's all for you because we love you Screwball." Fluttershy spoke, giving The Princess of Chaos a soft kiss on her forehead.

Screwball rubbed her eyes. She was still softly crying at the news, all her hopes and dreams of having a whole family just gone in a matter of minutes. Yet, she wasn't alone like she was before.

She still remembers how that alleyway felt, how cold, dark and wet it was. How a bright rainbow lit up the sky and all chaos magic just disappeared. Then Screwball met her future mom, the warmth of her hug back then still fills Screwball's heart with joy.

Then, that magic day where Princess Celestia decided to reform Discord. She got her dad back, even if her mommy was a little jealous of the two of them together. The Chaos Duo. Having him teaching her how to control her chaos magic, how her mommy would laugh at some of the pranks that the young chaotic filly would pull on the town ponies of Ponyville.

Her family might be split apart. But, at least she has her family. A real one that loves her.