Out of Bug Repellant
The land of Equestria is home to all sorts of creatures from all sorts of backgrounds. Entities from the mundane to the magical call this realm of harmony home, including the particularly peculiar (and oftentimes dangerous) residents of the Everfree Forest. It’s no secret that there are plenty of strange and terrible beings across the map, but Everfree always seemed to hold the most bizarre. Some say it is due to the wild magic and untamed landscape. Others claim it was cursed many years ago. A few conspiracy theorists believe that Discord may have had something to do with it. Discord himself would deny everything.
Regardless of the truth, caution was always taken when traversing these woodlands. Generally, only the foolhardy, mad, or masters of the natural world ever stay here for an extended period of time, and they are few and far between. Oftentimes, nopony else is ever around. Perfectly secluded and private for every deed.
Which is why a long standing cult, the Order of the Crimson Lake, hidden in the shadows for hundreds of years, find this the perfect place to conduct their dark ritual. Shunned by society for their malpractices, as well as mocked by other occult circles, these fools strive in the name of vengeance to summon a being of great and terrible power to grant them their wish: Subjugation of all of Equestria, and domination over every living being. Or, at the very least, a lifetime supply of Zapapples, so they don’t have to constantly steal from the excessively protective farm-pony that lives at the outskirts of Ponyville. The bruises and bumps received from her were on the side of legendary.
Tonight, nearing the crack of dawn, deep in the heart of the forest, standing in a prepared clearing for their sinister ritual, four robed figures from that damnable order gathered about a intricate spellbinding circle, with torches carefully lit in very specific locations around them, and a small pile of offerings set in the center of the complicated design. The air was thick with the smell of blood, which these loons had donated into a small brass basin via slicing their own skin with a ritual knife.
“Oh, mighty being of terrible power. We offer the flesh to give you form and our blood to give you life. Come forth, and grant us our desires, and we shall forever be your humble servants...” The leader of the group, an elderly unicorn, prayed.
“Is that what we’re going to be chanting?” One of the followers, a griffon, asked.
“Fool, didn’t you get the memo?!” Another older looking unicorn snapped.
“What memo?”
“We had it printed last Thursday. Are you telling me you didn’t practice the rites?”
“I guess not, because I didn’t get a memo.”
“Oh, for the love of Celestia,” the leader interrupted, “It doesn’t matter if any of you practiced or not. It only matters if one chants the passages needed for the summoning. The rest of you chanting is just for dramatic effect.”
“Wow, and here I was beginning to believe I’d be useful for once,” the last of the members, a cow, had bemoaned.
“Your blood was useful.”
“Would you all shut up? The time is almost nigh for the ritual to commence. Raise your daggers to the sky.”
With a collective sigh among the other three, they reluctantly drew their blades from their robes. Well, all except for the griffon.
“I, uh...”
“No... Don’t tell me... You left it-” the leader seethed.
“At home, yeah.”
“I’m surrounded by idiots,’ the leader muttered. “Fine. Here.” With that, he tossed the griffon a secondary dagger, whom picked it up and brandished it towards the sky. “Don’t you DARE lose that one. It was my grandfather’s ceremonial dagger. It’s worth more than all of your feathers.”
“I won’t, jeez.”
“Alright, is everyone ready now?”
“What should we do if we don’t know the words? I... didn’t get the memo either.”
“REALLY?!” He desired to say so many things out of the heightened frustration he was feeling, but remained composed enough to avoid blowing up on them and blowing this whole night. “... We don’t have time for this. Like I said, only I need to know the chant anyway for the ritual to work. You two morons just hum, or something. Sound ominous. I don’t care.”
“Alright, alright. No need to be a jerk about it.”
I’m going to kill everyone here once this is over, he thought bitterly, so I don’t have to put up with this nonsense another day. Clearing his throat, he began to chant. The only other member that actually knew the words began to follow suit, lowly chanting in tandem with the leader. The other two just hummed, trying to keep in tune and not feel silly over the whole situation. After a few moments reciting the chant, the leader concluded with, “Now, rise up before us and grant our deepest desires!”
Silence befell the group as the leader looked up to the sky, hoping in the anticipation. As the seconds passed, the hope began to rot and doubt began to set in. In a snap decision, he pulled out the book, opened it to the bookmarked page, and quickly reread the ritual rites. The circle was correct, the fires were lit correctly, the passage was recited perfectly. He then looked at the offerings and noticed something was off. He didn’t realize it the first time around due to the bickering among his members, but now that his focus was shifted, it was hard to miss.
“You... DID get all of the offerings that were described, right?” the elder leader unicorn asked.
“Of course,” answered the griffon, “I’m not some kind of chucklehead that can’t get his shopping done.”
There was a pregnant pause, before the cow spoke up.
“A-actually...” he stuttered.
“Oh no...” the other unicorn groaned.
“Don’t you DARE tell me...” the leader barked.
“I couldn’t find any actual meat. Sorry man. I did find imitation meat. They claimed it was almost like the real thing. You couldn’t tell the difference!”
“I could tell the difference, and I’m vegetarian, you dunce!” the leader roared in anger, before slamming his book shut. “Whatever, it seems like the ritual is a dud. I can’t believe I have to work with such incompetent-”
There was a sudden shake of the ground as the spellbinding circle began to glow ominously.
“Did it actually work?” the subordinate unicorn questioned.
The blood in the basin began to bubble as the light from the circle grew with intensity a hateful, orange color, as the offerings soon had a strange black pool form below it. Said offerings then began to sink into the ground and disappear from sight, right before a shrill screech could be heard. The ground shook once again, as something began to rise from the black puddle.
“I... have a really bad feeling about this,” muttered the cow.
~x-x-x-x-x-X-X-X-X-X-x-x-x-x-x~
Thirsty.
Black nothing get boring. Tree not call for us in while. Very bored. Hungry. Itchy itchy. Others also bored. Walk around in nothing. Sniffing in nothing. Found something. Investigate. Smell of blood. Like blood. Thirsty. Scuttle to something. Sniffing again. Something close. Give cry of joy, start to dig. Black nothing bubbles around me. Start to tunnel through. See light. Getting warm. Then get cool. The something came to me. It pile of food. Take bite. Bread bland. Grapes sour. Meat...
Meat wrong. Meat VERY wrong. Don’t taste right. Taste like Behemoth tongue. Gross, icky icky. Getting mad. Find one responsible. Dig further, get brighter, but now get cooler. Emerge from bubbling nothing into real world. I scree. See living beings. Ones responsible! Get mad, smell blood. Sniff, itchy itchy. See yellow bowl. Yellow shiny bowl.
“Oh my Celestia! What is THAT?!” old wrinkled horn horse say. He annoying.
“Why does it look like a giant, mutant ant?” weird bird lion say. Itchy itchy, scritch.
“This grotesque thing isn’t described in the book!” other horn horse say. He annoying.
“I knew I should have listened to mama,” cow say. Cow tasty. Bite last.
Walk up to bowl. Sniff. It mixed blood. Yum. Very thirsty. Bend down and drink bowl. Yum yum. Not enough to fill storage sacks. Getting mad. Turn to horn horse.
“Maybe we can still use it?!” old wrinkled horn horse say.
“It’s looking right at me, what do I do?”
“Try commanding it!”
“Uh... Creature! We’ve summoned you here, so we are your masters. You will do our bidding! We want you to... go fetch us Zapapples on our behalf!”
“Are you freaking kidding me?!” bird lion say.
“AS A TEST! As a test to show your loyalty.”
Getting annoyed. Lunge at horn horse and bite. Begin to drink blood. It scream. I bite harder until it start gurgling. Like gurgling noise. It stop and I get my fill. Don’t like horse blood, but it makes thirst go away. Turn to old horn horse, and scree. It screams.
“OH DEAR STARS! IT KILLED HIM!”
“RUN!” cow say.
I pounce and grab horn horse, and bite. Begin to drink blood. It scream too, but gurgle faster. Not as much blood. Good. Cow try to run, but trips. Bird lion try to fly, gets tangled in robe and tree branches. Now stuck. I scree and run up to Bird Lion. It scream at me, trying to swat with paw. Getting angry. Jump at it and bite. It scream louder. More blood. Taste better, getting full. Drain it dry, start to gurgle and stop moving. Now for cow. Let go of bird lion, and look around. Cow gone. Sniff air. Smell it and its fear. Now chase after it.
Enter bush. Very dark, but can see easy. Sniff air again. Itchy itchy. Ignore. Keep going through bush. See log move. Not log. Glowing green eyes. Growls. I scree and swipe at it. It backs off and howls. Others come. I pounce and claw at it. Breaks. I scree again and swipe at another. Not logs back off, whimpering. I win. Keep looking for cow. Still smell fear. Follow fear scent. See rocks in river. Rocks move. Not rocks, just like not logs. Not rocks growl. I scree. They stay in river. I find place to cross river. Keep following scent.
See weird home. Has masks. Smell of magic. Scratch at door. Door opens, and something sprays me. Itchy itchy, hurty. Scritch face and cough. Leave home with masks. Must be scissor mask that live here. Scissor mask never like us. Follow scent again, getting fainter. Losing cow. Getting mad. Almost full. Wanted cow. Try to follow. Cow scent gone. Now lost. Itchy itchy. Look around again. Just bush. Begin to wander. Not full, can’t leave. Need one more feeding. Look around again.
“Oh my, what a sight. Are you lost, you poor dear?” lovely voice say.
Turn around.
~x-x-x-x-x-X-X-X-X-X-x-x-x-x-x~
It would be quite the understatement that Fluttershy never would have expected to be quite rudely woken up at the crack of dawn. Considering that it was a laundry list of animals from the Everfree all gathered outside her cottage, including an upset timberwolf, said understatement was quite literally eclipsed. The canary yellow and pink maned pegasus, natural animal caretaker and one of the kinder souls in town, was in quite a drowsy pickle when she opened her door and was met with a flurry of distressed chatter, squeaks, squacks, howls, chitters, and whines. Still being half asleep, she gently excused herself, shut the door, and headed to the washroom to wake herself up. After splashing some cold water in her face three or four dozen times to cement her alertness, she dried off and returned to the front door, asking for an explanation.
The cacophonous jumble of animal noises all seemed to drown each other out in a bid to explain their own version of the story first. No one seemed to want to back down in sharing their plight and concerns, and the noise just got louder and more aggressive. Thankfully, her cottage was a fair distance away from any neighborhood within Ponyville, so there was no chance any of this chaos could disturb any currently sleeping ponies. However, Fluttershy needed to get to the bottom of this, and the first step was to get everyone to calm down. Unfortunately, no one could hear the meek pony’s request for a lowered volume, which-
“BE QUIET!” Every animal became immediately silent as the normally shy pegasus was panting after yelling so loud. Tension filled the air in the absence of all the noise as Fluttershy recomposed herself and cleared her throat. “Now, one at a time, please tell me what’s going on.” Noticing the timberwolf, whom was the most bizarre of the bunch and likely to provide an accurate idea of the issue, she turned her attention to it. “You first, Mr. Timberwolf.”
The wooden construct of a canis shared its tale of woe of how it and its pack were making their early morning hunting rounds when all of a sudden a cow had come charging through their territory in a panic. The disturbance was enough to pull them from their duty to investigate, but by the time they reached the location, a new and entirely alien scent had permeated the air; the mix of various different kinds of blood with the odd smell of fungus. In no time at all, the timberwolf explains, they tried to size up the creature, but it acted with aggression, and proved to be far stronger than what it seemed to be. He and his comrades ended up fleeing the scene, and noticed that other animals were following suit, with even prey animals running along side as if they were trying to gain protection. The timberwolf in the animal group before Fluttershy was the one sent to complain while the rest of his pack returned to hunting.
Fluttershy then began asking the other animals, and received relatively the same story, with a few small differences. One squirrel decided to be cheeky and claimed the timberwolves were all hapless cowards before the new creature, and had subsequently wet themselves as they fled. The present timberwolf responded by eating the squirrel, eliciting a shocked gasp from Fluttershy, before she let it go for obvious reasons.
“Ok, I’ll go and investigate. You all go back to your homes. Though, would one of you mind leading the way to where you last saw it?”
A couple of birds volunteered, knowing they could just fly away if things got dicey. With the small entourage made, everyone headed into the Everfree forest, the majority going back to their life in the wilderness, while Fluttershy aimed to get to the bottom of the matter.
It didn’t take very long for her to get decently far into the forest, especially to a relatively quiet part. You could just hear the leaves rustle from the slight breeze, completely uninterrupted by the normal symphony of creature noises that were currently absent, save for the chirping duo that lead the small charge. It was until they heard a strange sound. It was like a cross between a toad’s croak and wet gurgling noises. The sound was enough to make the small birds flee to their homes, abandoning the poor pegasus in the shadowy woods. Keeping quiet, she slowly trekked on, hoping that whatever that had disturbed the peace was a fair bit more pleasant than the animals made it out to be.
It was then that she saw it. Silhouetted by the dawning light, she saw the form of what seemed to take the shape of an ant or maybe even a praying mantis. It was quite the bizarre visage but with the way it seemed to behave, looking in every direction but hers, it almost seemed like the creature was confused and disoriented. She couldn’t help but feel somewhat sorry for it.
“Oh my, what a sight. Are you lost, you poor dear?” she asked with genuine concern.
It then turned to her, and she could see two very red, very beady shines in the darkness. She squinted a bit, and managed to see better details. While it held the silhouette of an oversized insect, she soon noticed that its body was covered head to foot in grey, rough, gnarled skin. Also, unlike actual insects, the two mounds on the left and right side of its head were just that, which she mistook for what should be compound eyes. If anything, they were spotted with short, super thick black hairs that almost looked like spines. An actual nose sat in the center of its face with what looked like two hollow eye sockets sitting at either side, a far cry separate from the actual eyes that were on the mounds. Strangely, the real eyes also had what looked like a nose sitting at the outer edge on either side. Red mandibles could be seen halfway covered in its ashy skin, but the creature also carried a complete set of omnivorous jaws, stained in something she couldn’t quite discern.
Despite the very insectoid appearance, the creature sported a total of four legs; two lower, double jointed, emaciated limbs that balanced on a single, curled claw at each foot, and two upper, forward facing arms that curved forward and over like the mantis it seemed to mimic. Its posture most definitely denoted that it was entirely capable of bipedal and quadrupedal movement. At its abdomen was a moderately swollen sack that looked like red amber. However, most bizarre of all was its tiny, little, blue feathered chicken wings that flapped uselessly at its back. For a creature that seemed to try to mimic an insect, its actual biological design was seen as anything but that.
It chirruped at her, and slowly waddled up, red eyes peering down at the animal caretaker, whom realized that it was easily twice as tall as she was. It cocked its head to one side, before raising its praying mantis like claw and scratched at its head. It then gave a slight sneeze in her direction, which caused her to flinch, but otherwise remain still.
Fluttershy was honestly at a loss for words. She’s NEVER seen a creature like this before, and it was very clear that it didn’t belong here. What’s more is that, despite her special talents and expertise, she couldn’t understand a lick of what it might be trying to say. Any noise it made, noticeable or not, came out as gibberish to her. She would have to do it the old fashioned way.
“Do you need help? You look hungry. Why don’t you follow me?” she softly asked as she slowly backed away, keeping an eye on it. It seemed to understand her plenty, as it slowly followed after her, making more chittering noises. It wasn’t the best of followers, as its attention was easily pulled away by something else moving through the trees or making noise in the distance, which caused her to constantly fight to gain its attention once again and continue leading it out of the forest. It took a little while, and a few moments to refocus the creature over and over again, but she managed to reach her cottage, which almost immediately elicited a series of distressed chicken noises. Complete with panic and feathers, the stubby birds ran about their pen for a while before disappearing into the safety of their coupe. Fluttershy just rolled her eyes, and promised herself to apologize later.
“Ok, we’re home. How are you feeling? Are you still hungry?” she asked it again.
The creature looked about for a moment, before wandering to the chicken coupe and started scratching at the roof, causing the birds inside to panic more. Fluttershy ran over and pulled the creature away gently, shaking her head.
“Why don’t you come inside, instead?” she suggested, gently pulling it along into her home. The thing followed for a moment, only to bonk itself against the door-frame that was most certainly not built for a creature of that height. It screed, before backing up for a moment and ducking under the frame this time, raising back up to almost its full height once inside. It quite quickly gazed about the interior, almost taking note of everything that was present, processing what little information it could handle in its tiny insect mind. The creature then proceeded to walk up to a nearby birdcage, grip it with its mantis claws, and opened its mandibles wide. The birds flipped out as Fluttershy once again grabbed it gently by the arm and pulled it away.
“No, no, no. These are my animal friends. Not food. Yucky yucky.” She said, pawing at her tongue with her hooves. The creature simply cocked its head to one side, as Fluttershy stepped away from it. “You must be a carnivore. So...” she trailed off. It was quite rare she had a carnivore guest in her cottage, for obvious reasons, but she always was prepared for such an emergency. While red meat was extremely rare, if not scarce, she did have at least a serving or two in an icebox, magically sealed and preserved so that it would last as long as it needed before it came time to use it. Procuring such a commodity was beyond nightmarish, even if you knew where to look.
She wandered toward her storage area, full of all sorts of grains, fruits, and veggies that most animals could be satisfied with. However, in the far back, tucked in a tight nook, was the icebox for storing the normally more perishable foodstuffs for creatures that require more than something that comes from a plant. She moved what she needed to out of the way, and as she tried to pass through the nook, she felt it become a bit of a tight squeeze around her rump. To be fair, it was quite the thin opening regardless, thanks to a bit of poor construction planning initially, but she had managed over the years.
“Oh dear. I should really do my exercises more often,” she chastised. With a slight wiggle, she passed through and opened the icebox just beyond. The cold rush of air puffed at her as she began digging though the more brutal dietary options. Out of curiosity, the creature that followed her into her home also followed her into the storage, now of its own free will. Being as slender as it was, despite its bulbous cranium, it then poked its head through the opening just behind Fluttershy, casting a shadow over her back.
Then, it bit her on the ass.