Shakin' and Bakin'

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One fine morning, in the center of Ponyville was a sight seen countless times before: a cheery Earth Pony mare was bouncing across the town's main street. She waved 'hello' to everypony she passed, even if they were paying no attention to her. Most waved back with a, "Good morning!". Some wore bright smiles to match hers, others acknowledging her with a mumbled greeting as they struggled to wake up.

Pinkie Pie merrily hummed aloud as she skipped along the path, eyes closed as if she didn't have a care in the world. Her thoughts were occupied by what she had planned for today. She was going to have uber-loads of fun with her new friend: Jazz! The Autobot and his compatriots had arrived on their planet not more than a few days ago. When her Pinkie Sense woke her in the middle of the night telling her that new friends would be arriving soon, and that it was going to be a doozy, she didn't hesitate in rousing her friends. She had all gathered them all in the center of town just in time to witness a gargantuan, blazing orange blur falling from the sky and eventually colliding with a mountain just a few miles away. After eating and gathering the necessary equipment, the ponies had set off to investigate.

After a few hours of hiking through the dense brush of the Everfree, they had found it. A massive orange structure, not too unlike the ships they had seen in city ports, was embedded into the base of the mountain. A large red symbol was emblazoned on the side, resembling a stoic face. While Twilight was fascinated with the material of the craft's outer hull, Pinkie Pie had wandered off to explore for new friends. And then she saw one. A tall, white and green being stomping its way through the foliage, occasionally stopping to observe the local flora. She immediately spoke up with her usual greeting: rambling off all the information buzzing around in her head at the time.

At first the creature appeared startled by her sudden appearance and the cacophony of noise that was a Pinkie Pie greeting, but it soon became more at ease when her friends arrived and introduced themselves. The being greeted them in kind and gave them his name; Wheeljack. She couldn't believe it. Her new friend was a real, live alien! Wheeljack had talked with them for a while, saying he was something called an 'Autobot', and that he was an inventor. After they had gotten more comfortable around him, Wheeljack offered to take them to meet his friends, which they agreed to.

What followed was one of the greatest days of Pinkie Pie's life. A whole bunch of new, superly-duper amazing friends that were all alien robots! There were so many! Their big, gentle leader Optimus Prime welcomed them and introduced his friends one by one. The sweet and kind Bumblebee helped to relieve Fluttershy's fears about them, the two becoming quick friends. Rainbow found herself getting along with Air Raid, the cocky fliers soon sharing their different experiences with flying and eventually challenging each other to a race sometime. Rarity was drawn to the immaculately polished and stunning form of Tracks. While the normally narcissistic Autobot was seen by his comrades as a vain braggart, he admitted that it was nice to finally have someone around to contend with him in the ways of glamour. Applejack found herself a kindred spirit of sorts in the gruff, blunt Autobot weapons specialist and security expert, Ironhide. They each appreciated the other's preference for a simple, straightforward solution as opposed to complicated maneuvering and subtlety. The ever-inquisitive Twilight had many questions, all of which she initially listed off too quickly for the Autobots to answer. That is, until she came across their chief science officer, Perceptor, who had just as many questions as the young alicorn.

While the towering, wondrous mechanoids had excited the mare and her friends tremendously, Jazz was the one she found herself the most enthused with. He had an open and curious mind, and was equally captivated by the small, fuzzy equines as they were with him and his team. After spending some time with him Pinkie learned that he also held a great fondness for making his friends smile and laugh. Both loved to see their friends in good spirits and high morale. And today, she had chosen a way they could do this together!

Rounding a bend, the Ponyville schoolhouse came into view. The Autobots had wished not to impede the ponies of the little town as they rested, so they usually stayed on the outskirts during the night. Jazz had situated himself by the schoolhouse as he liked to perform all sorts of stunts for the local foals at recess. Sometimes he would listen in on Miss Cheerilee's lessons to learn more about the ponies and their culture. Trotting past the playground, she soon spotted the Autobot in his sleek, white and blue "vehicle mode", as Wheeljack had called it. Almost as soon as she spotted him the vehicle began to change form. The front shifted and contorted into a pair of arms, holding the frame upright as two legs emerged from the rear.

She watched with bated breath, as enamored and amazed with his alien biology as she had been the first time she and her friends had seen them in action. The being landed on two feet with a low thud of impact, much lighter than one would anticipate for a being with such mass and size. now resembling a bipedal form, a head rose to place and Pinkie was greeted with the infectious grin of her new friend. His blue visor shone with mirth as he lowered himself to greet her. "Well good morning, little Pinks!"

"Jazzy!" Pinkie beamed as she threw herself against his metallic leg with a clunk, giving the appendage a quick hug. The mechanoid chuckled in amusement from the gesture and brought down a single finger to give the pink mare's mane a gentle pet, returning the affection she showed him. She giggled as his digit tickled her ear, pulling away to meet his gaze with a beaming smile. "I hope you're ready, because I've got a super-dee-duperly funtastic day planned for us!"

"Girl, you know I'm always down for a good time! So what are we gonna be doin'? Another one of your famous parties? I don't think this little town can handle another shindig like that quite so soon." Jazz chuckled as he briefly recalled some of the events from the aforementioned party. As Pinkie and Jazz became more acquainted, they shared many ideas for potential celebrations and decided to test some of them out. Three straight days of partying with some of the most incredible displays of jubilation the quaint little town had ever seen. An incident with some fireworks developed by Wheeljack at the pairs' behest had gotten a little out of hand, and resulted in Twilight forcing the celebration to cease. It was fortunate that Ponyville's recently established firefighting team had so much experience over the course of the past few months.

"No, Twilight said I'm on temporary party probation after that one..." the pink mare sheepishly rubbed behind her neck, before her grin grew all the wider. "It's something I know you've neeeeever done before, because you never had it on your planet! One of my most favoritest things in the world!"

"Oh, a pony custom, is it? I love learnin' new stuff about y'all! What is it?"

"Ah-ah-ah!" In a blur of movement Pinkie had fashioned a perfectly-sized blindfold around the Autobot's visor, causing him to tilt his head in confusion. "It's a surprise. No peeking! Just follow the sound of my voice!"

The pink mare resumed her hopping as she led Jazz into town. As they trekked down the street he could hear the sounds one would come to associate with morning time in Ponyville: birds chirping, the rattling of carts carrying various wares as shopkeepers prepared for the morning rush. Pinkie shouted joyous greetings to all she passed, some waving in delight as they returned the greeting, others waving a bit more apprehensively as they eyed the robot the size of a single story house.

Though most would be concerned about the trouble a blindfolded giant robot walking through town might cause, there was no need to fear in this case. Jazz's senses were more finely tuned than most organic creatures', to the point where he could determine where everything in the road was with utmost precision. "Uhh, Pinkie, my sensors can see right through this-"

"Sssshhhush! We're almost there!"

After a few more moments of walking the pair found themselves before a familiar structure. Jazz recognized it as Pinkie's residence/place of employ: Sugarcube Corner. It was one of the most populated areas in Ponyville during midday, due to its proximity to the town center and the amount of customers the bakery regularly received. The bright, confectionery-covered building seemed to be their destination as Pinkie led him towards it.

"Here we are! Go ahead, you can take it off now."

Deciding to humor her, the first lieutenant gave a little tug at the cloth and let it slip from his grasp. His gaze traveled downward where he found, to Pinkie's credit, a genuine surprise. There were two large tables sat out front of the sweet shop, with a rather large oven placed behind them. On the tables sat various items Jazz could not identify. What looked to be some small bowls, containers and various forms of organic matter. "What is all this, lil' pink?"

Pinkie squealed as she bounced in place, her eyes wide with excitement. "We...are going to be...BAKING!"

Baking? Jazz remembered that the pink mare had mentioned it several times in regards to her profession and hobbies. "Isn't that how you make those cakes you mention all the time?"

"Not just cakes, silly!", she giggled. "We also make pies, cookies, cupcakes, donuts, crepes, eclairs, and lots and lots of other super yummy stuff! And as my new friend, I want to share that with you." The pink mare beamed up at the intergalactic warrior, as joyful as ever. "I figured since you like to make others smile, and so do I, it would be something we can both enjoy together."

Jazz found his faceplate forming a wide grin of his own. He was elated that he got to hang out with his new friend more, and that he could learn more about one of her favorite activities. "I think that's a kickin' idea, Pinkie Pie! How do we start?"

"First, we've got to get you an apron!"

"A what now?"

After finding some fabric that would fit Jazz's body without ripping whenever he moved (with Rarity's help), the pair were finally ready to begin. "Alright! Now, since this is your first time baking, we're gonna start off with something easy-peasy to introduce you to what I like to call the Bakesics!"

Giggling at her pun, Pinkie trotted over to one of the ovens and turned a dial until there was a little click. "First thing you wanna do is set the oven to the right temperature, so that it's ready to bake when you are."

Nodding, Jazz reached down and very gently set the temperature as he had seen her do. Spending time with these ponies had taught him to be more delicate than he ever had before. "Got it. What next?"

"Now we're gonna butter our pans, like so." She grabbed a stick of butter from the table and brought it to a pan, rubbing the greasy deposit of fat around until the metal was slick and shiny. Jazz located another stick of butter and went to grab it, only for it to slip and slide across the table. Pinkie couldn't help but giggle as he carefully tried to grasp the stick of fat. At last Jazz found a manageable grip and was able to apply an even coating of grease onto his pan, grinning and looking to Pinkie for the next step.

"Time to get started on the batter! We'll need two cups of flour, two teaspoons of baking powder, a cup of sugar, a cup of milk, a teaspoon of salt, two eggs, half a cup of butter, and a teaspoon of vanilla!"

Jazz set to retrieving each of the ingredients the mare had listed off. It took a little longer than usual due to treating the items with the utmost fragility, but soon enough all the ingredients were assembled into their respective bowls. "What's next, Pinkie?"

"Now we mix 'em till it's nice and smooth." She showed him what setting to adjust their mixers to, and began the process. A few minutes later the ingredients had mixed into a nice, even white batter. "Now all we gotta do is pop these babies in the oven for half an hour!"

They each poured their batter into the pans and set them in the ovens. Jazz glanced at Pinkie as she stared at her oven's window, not moving an inch. "So...what do you wanna do while they bake?"

The mare turned and looked up at her friend, her jovial grin becoming more of an inquisitive stare. She remembered a question that had been buzzing in her mind for a while. "Tell me what your life on Cybertron was like, Jazzy. You know, before that war you mentioned."

Jazz was a bit surprised by her request. Normally she would inquire him and his comrades about what sorts of things they did for fun, how they were able to transform, what they liked to eat, and countless other topics that came to her ever-curious mind. But she had never asked about what they did before...

"Well, I don't remember too much from those days. Then again, who does? We've been fighting so long, it seems to be all some of us can do anymore." He muttered in a low, dark tone. The Autobot's features gained a more downturned appearance as his smile briefly began to fade. Suddenly remembering who he was talking to, he quickly regained his trademark grin, although it was a little forced now.

"I used to have a pretty sweet setup, a job as a cultural investigator. Got to travel all over Cybertron! It was my job to study all aspects of Cybertronian life. I learned all sorts of stuff real fast, never able to find something that wasn't interesting." Jazz mused nostalgically, the young mare at his feet listening with rapt attention. "I loved it! It taught me to broaden my perspectives, become less judgmental than a lot of bots from back then. It was never enough, though. I wanted to know everything. I got to learning about any and all extraterrestrial life I could, always wishing I could meet some aliens and learn how they get down."

His electric blue gaze wandered down to his pink friend, grin growing. "But none have fascinated me more than this planet. Than you, Pinkie. You've done so much and seen so many incredible things! And every day you greet the world with a smile bright enough to fry a bot's optics."

Pinkie couldn't help a giggling snort at that. He was so silly, but his words caused her heart to swell with warmth and joy. To think that such an advanced and powerful being from countless light years away would think she was interesting, it was so super fantastic that she thought she'd explode with glee.

"And I can easily say you're the sweetest and grooviest life form I've had the immense pleasure of calling my friend, Pinkie Pie." He reached down and brushed the tip of his finger along her mane in that way he knew she liked. Pinkie leaned into his affectionate touch, hugging the appendage and nuzzling her cheek against him. Despite what one may think, the metal of his chassis wasn’t cold to the touch. There was a subtle warmth to it, one that she found comforting. “Aaaawww Jazzy. You're the funkiest, most super megatastically fun alien I've ever met! I'm so glad that you crashed here."

Pausing for a moment, she giggled. "Well, not that you crashed here. I just mean that I'm glad you showed up here of all places!"

He chuckled along with her, shaking his head and petting her mane delicately. "I know what you mean, Pinks."

An increase in activity in the street drew the pair's attention to a growing throng of ponies approaching their bake site. Some gazed with awe at the metallic giant conversing with the local parry planner. A few were still apprehensive about the presence of the aliens, but most had come to accept them after they had proved nothing but friendly and helpful.

Shifting her attention back to Jazz, she beamed and sprung to her hooves. "Alright, Chef's Assistant Jazz! Whadaya say we show these ponies how baking's done?!"

Meeting her grin with his own confident smirk, Jazz gave her a nod. "Let's do it, party girl!"

Iron-forged Honesty

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A large red truck rumbled down the dirt path leading to the southern district of Ponyville. The bright morning sun illuminated the distant hills with a glorious golden glow, the trees and landscape themselves seemed to radiate life and vitality. There was a gentle breeze wafting through the warm spring air. Most who woke up to such a morning would say it was looking to be the start of a beautiful day. Not Ironhide.

The day had started out well enough. The grizzled veteran had woken up just before the crack of dawn like he usually did, parked atop a quiet hill with a good view of the entire town. It was quiet, serene, and all was still. As he had transformed to stretch his aging joints and pistons, he heard a multitude of small pops followed by a mass of wetness covering his chassis. He had looked down to find a large concentration of bright purple paint now covering his midsection and dripping over his internal servos. The sounds of poorly restrained laughter drew his blazing ire to none other than Ponyville's recently established pranking crew: Rainbow Dash, and her two new cohorts in mischief, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.

The Autobot twins were already notorious in their trouble-making shenanigans. When Sideswipe wasn't attempting some new daredevil stunt and Sunstreaker could find time between armor waxing sessions, they could usually be found planning their next prank. Naturally, the two got along quite well with Rainbow Dash. The three had become a whirlwind of chaos, causing all sorts of trouble across the poor town and driving Ironhide's famously shirt temper to a critical low. After knocking and screaming some sense into the three, he had spent the next two hours washing his undercarriage more thoroughly than he thought possible.

Ironhide took the moment to observe his surroundings. On his right was a white picket fence that seemed to never end. Behind it were rows upon rows of healthy, well-tended apple trees that stretched farther than his seasoned optics could see. To his left was a more dense collection of trees. They were far thicker, mangled and twisted branches and vines blocking out most of the sunlight that tried to peak through the canopy. The "Everfree", as Twilight and her friends had called it. Something about that place sent a familiar, unwelcome surge through one of the Autobot's countless old battle wounds. That was never a good sign.

He focused his thoughts on something less unnerving, the purpose as to why he was driving out here. The previous day, Ironhide was doing what he could usually be found doing in his downtime: grumbling to himself and rubbing some old battle scars, or occasionally cleaning a weapon that had already been cleaned so thoroughly it almost rivaled Celestia's own sun with how much it shined. Applejack had approached him, concerned for her friend. His mood had been souring more than usual, according to some of the other Autobots. She had known since they met that he was a grump, but lately he seemed more irritable than she was used to. With some questioning and prodding, Ironhide simply said that he was bored. This didn't sit right with the Element of Honesty, and she instantly knew it to be a falsehood; a cover.

But the earth pony didn't wish to press, as it would only aggravate the old Autobot more. So she invited him to help her and her family on their farm the next day. Ironhide had to admit, it did sound kind of nice. It at least was better than keeping an optic out for the twins and their next inevitable fiascos.

Finally a break in the fence came; a wide archway framed with carved vines and apples. He turned and drove down the small path leading into the orchard. Not long after he spotted a quaint farmhouse atop a small rise. Out front was an elderly mare steadily rocking in her chair, and sitting on the steps leading to the porch was the familiar stetson-wearing pony. Ironhide slowed his approach, the slight squeal of his brakes sounding out.

"You're late. I thought old folk got up at the crack'a dawn. What kept ya?" Applejack approached with a little grin on her lips, gesturing with a nod to her elder over her shoulder. Ironhide could see that the aforementioned matriarch was still sleeping. Deciding it would be more proper to converse in his natural form, he began to transform. The large, armored grill of the truck split into two distinct shapes, separating as a pair of broad arms appeared to extend from them. The rear of the vehicle rose to resemble feet, with legs raising up above them and a torso atop that. Ironhide now looked down at the orange mare, his blue optics set in that ever present scowl.

"The terrible threesome, that's what. I swear to Primus, I haven't seen the twins this bad in I dunno how many stellar cycles." The Autobot growled, letting out a sigh as he tried to put his attention on the present. He turned his gaze to the wide expanse of Sweet Apple Acres. "So this is a...farm?"

"Yup! And you'll never find a finer one, too!" The blonde mare spoke with great pride, tossing her head back and casting her eyes out among the countless rows of apple trees. "My family's been doin' this for generations, and I'm forever grateful that I get to carry on it's legacy." Her green eyes shone with fondness as she looked about her family's livelihood.

Ironhide had to respect that. There was a great joy and passion in her tone. This obviously meant a great deal to Applejack, and she wouldn't let just anybody help out in this. "Well, it does look like y'all put a lot of effort into this. How does it all...work?"

Grinning, Applejack set off towards a nearby tree. "I'd be happy to show ya."

Ironhide followed behind, his pace considerably slower. His heavy footsteps created slight tremors in the earth around them and startled a few nearby birds. Standing beside the tree, the mare turned with her hind end facing towards the trunk. "It's real simple. All you gotta do is give it a good buck..."

To demonstrate her point Applejack set her forehooves into the dirt, lifting the hind ones off the ground and curling them up toward her flank. Once they were wound back, she changed the angle of her approach and...

THWACK

Her hind hooves struck the bark like a hammer, shaking the tree and causing multiple apples to fall to the grass below. One of the crimson fruit rolled right to the mare's hoof, and she scooped it up to show him. "See? Easy as pie!"

"Huh. How do they all fall like that?"

Chuckling, she cast a wistful smirk up to the Autobot as she took a bite out of the apple in her grasp. "Ol' family secret. So you wanna give it a try?"

"Sure. At least I get to hit somethin’." Ironhide muttered. He bent down low, reaching an arm down to the base like she had. He wound back, found his mark, and...

SHRRRRUK

Ironhide's fist tore clean through the bark to the other side, splitting the tree as splinters of wood exploded out onto the ground where his fist had exited. The mighty apple tree fell over with a resounding crash, and Applejack watched on in shocked awe.

The Autobot veteran's features morphed into something of a sheepish grimace, turning to his companion.

"Um...my bad. Don't worry, we can fix this. I've messed up worse things..." His voice tapered off into a murmur.

Grabbing the body of the tree, he fit it onto the trunk in an attempt to get it to stick. When that failed he tried again, twisting it another angle. Then another. And another. With each new futile approach his scowl grew, gritting his teeth as a growl built in his throat. His frustration peaked when he slammed the tree into the base, crushing the whole body into mangled lumber and bark. "AAAGH, SLAGIT!"

“Whoa, easy partner! It’s alright!” Applejack cooed and trotted up next to the Autobot, placing a hoof on his leg. “No need to be so ornery. We’ve got plenty’a trees to spare. Maybe we should find something else you can do...”

She bummed to herself as she gazed around the property for an idea. A radiant smile split her lips as she set into a light trot and motioned for her company to follow. With a sigh Ironhide stood and followed, his gait slower to keep pace with her.

“Applebucking might not be your thing, but I’ve got somethin’ I know you can help with.”

The pair approached the large barn in the center of the orchard and opened the door, leaving her guest outside as she could be heard rifling through something inside. A moment later and the mare emerged with a large burlap sack on her back, setting it at Ironhide’s feet.

“With your size and strength, I reckon you’re right perfect for plowin’.”

“Plowin’? What’cha mean?”

“It’s real simple. All ya gotta do is take your little finger and stick it in the dirt, walk a long way until I tell ya to stop,” She explained while gesturing to an acre of tended dirt. “Then go back through and plant some seeds! Easier than pie!”

“Well, can’t really think of a way to screw this up.”

Taking the seed bag in one hand, Ironhide strode up to the bare patch of land and bent downwards. He extended his pinky finger and gently prodded it into the dirt, giving a little swipe forward and looking back to the orange mare to ensure he was doing good. Her response was a beaming smile and a nod.

Giving a slight grin in return, Ironhide moves forward as he felt the soft dirt part for his fingertip. Everything about this planet was so...soft. Much different than the sturdy metallic landscapes of Cybertron.

“That’s good!” Almost lost in his reminiscing, Ironhide stopped at where his finger lay. A good several meters down the way, he saw Applejack gesturing to the bag. Nodding, he opened it and let a very tiny seed fall into the palm of his hand. He could see Applejack fetching a pale of water. Driving a little divot big enough for the seed, he dropped it in and continued with another. Soon enough there was now a row of fifteen seeds all spaced apart comfortably.

The mare went back over each and covered their holes, sousing them in a fair sprinkling of water before continuing to the next. Before long the first row of the new group of trees was finished.

The two friends set to work on the next row, brother saying a word. Nothing needed to be said. The moment spoke for itself; two friends enjoying simple, honest work and each other’s company.

Applejack gazed up and noticed the sun was approaching midday. Wiping a small bead of sweat from her brow, she looked back on the dozens of rows of future crop with a proud smile.

“Great job, ‘Hide! I reckon we’ll make a farmer outta you yet!”

Scoffing good-naturedly, Ironhide gave her a sly grin. “Don’t go gettin’ ahead of yourself, Applejack. I ain’t sure I’m suited for somethin’ like this.”

“Ya don’t like it?” AJ inquired.

“Well, not exactly but-“

KRA-KOOOOOOM

“CONTACT!”

AJ was barely able to hear the roar of Ironhide’s voice through her ringing ears. Before she had a chance to determine what the hay was going on she found herself encompassed by metallic fingers and pressed firmly but gently into his palm. What followed was the sound of shifting metal and a loud hissing of air. Not even a second later was another resounding explosion that shook the land and left her covering her ears as the earth pony winced.

After a few moments all was quiet. Placing a hoof on her barrel, Applejack could feel her heart pounding like it was trying to break through her chest. Slowly she tried to steady her breathing, managing to calm down enough after a few seconds and tapping Ironhide’s palm. “Ironhide? What in Celestia’s name was that?!”

No answer.

Gently pushing at his fingers, she managed to part them and peer out past his hand. What she saw floored her jaw.

What remained of the Apple family barn was little more than a single wall with flames adorning the beams. The rest had been either incinerated or pulverized from the shockwave of the explosion. Smoldering debris was spread about everywhere. Her eyes followed a trail of smoke leading from the wreckage to Ironhide’s arm.

It was different than she had ever seen it before; a long, pointed barrel with three nozzles on the end of it, each one steaming. She could hear a low clanking as three cylinders appeared in the three barrels on the front.

Ironhide’s gaze was set forward in a grimace unlike any she had seen. His eyes were fierce. Raging. Afraid?

His blue optics glanced around wildly, the rocket launcher on his arm following where ever he looked. The threat was still out there. Whatever it had been, he had missed. Might have been a Seeker. Cowardly rats, couldn’t even fight on the ground like a real ‘bot. He’d show them-

_{”...hide!”}

He listened intently for the roar of their engines, eyes trained on the sky. Nothing could get through. Iacon must not fall. It was all they had left.

“Ironhide!”

They’d all regret the day they were sparked. Those Decepticreeps wouldn’t, couldn’t, break through. Too much death. They couldn’t lose any more. He couldn’t lose any more. He couldn’t bear one more loss. Not another frie-

”IRONHIIIIDE!”

“C’MON CREEPS! I’LL RIP YOUR ACTUATORS OUTTA-...”

“I-Ironhide?”

His scowl breaking, the veteran turned his head to the source of the voice. Down in his hand, AJ was curled up against his palm. She was shivering, her wide and terrified eyes locked firmly on him. That fear in her emerald eyes, he’d seen that countless times before. In the red optics of his enemies when he was poised over them, ready to rip them to shreds.

His optics turned to his other arm, finding it had formed his Thermo-Rocket Launcher. Then he followed the dim smoke trail to-

Oh no.

Quickly shifting his launcher seamlessly back into his forearm, Ironhide set AJ down as gently as he ever had. The large bit backed away from her, his jaw agape as he gazed over the destruction. Destructionhe had caused.

Then another sound pierced the air: laughter. It wasn’t hard to pinpoint it. At the edge of the clearing were three forms. One was a sleek, robotic form covered in hot rod red. Sideswipe. Next to him was a similar shape but bright yellow. Sunstreaker. Both were nearly doubled over in laughter, holding onto nearby trees to support themselves as they cackled raucously. And descending toward them, decidedly not as jovial, was none other than...

”RAINBOW DASH!”

The trio broke from their revelry to face the furious earth pony mare stomping up to them with a heated snort.

“WHAT IN THE HAY IS THE MATTER WITH Y’ALL?!”

“Well, we just wanted to pull a prank on Ironhide.” The pegasus response and pointed a hoof into the air. Following it, Applejack managed to determine what had caused that first explosion easy enough.

A sonic rainboom.

The prismatic ring from the initial boom still could be seen parting the clouds above. “These guys told me Ironhide was easy to scare, but I had no idea it’d be like that! I Pinkie Swear!”

“T-told ya! Old rustbucket’ll s-start shooting at anything!” Sputtered Sunstreaker, holding his knees and trying to compose himself.

“Yeah, you should’ve seen him when we tossed a dud grenade into his quarters! I swear, Megatron himself would have run like a protoform from that!” Sideswipe chuckled.

Needless to say, the apple mare was peeved. “Ya mean you knew he’d get violent like that?! Why would ya do it, then?!”

“Uh, ‘cuz it’s funny. Duh. Besides, nobody got hurt.”

“MY BROTHER OR SISTER COULDA BEEN IN THAT BARN!”

“OR SCOOTALOO!” Rainbow screamed, now glaring at the twins. She was furious at having been taken advantage of. “You guys just said he’d flip out and maybe run around! This was...just mean!”

“Cool your jets, Dash. We knew what we were doing!” Sunstreaker scoffed.

“I don’t care! Pranks are one thing, but this was way too far!” She growled.

“Aw, whatcha gonna do? Tell Optimus on us?”

“Nope. I’m gonna tell Ratchet.”

“...wait. Wait, no don’t PLEASE!”

“Not the Hatchet!” Sideswipe begged.

“I’d rather be sent to Shockwave!”

Before either Autobot could get another word in, the pegasus shot off towards Ponyville with a rainbow trail bedding her. The twins hastily transformed and roared off in a futile attempt to catch up with her before she reached the outskirts of town. The earth pony watched them go with a scowl. She knew she couldn’t really blame Dash; those little devils had tricked her into doing something she believed was just a harmless scare.

“I’m sorry about that, I-“

Turning around, AJ found that Ironhide wasn’t there. Her eyes scanned the field, amazed she’d missed such a large being disappear. Upon closer inspection of the grass she found tire tracks from his heavy wheels, leading towards a solitary hill to the west of the grove. She followed them with a slow canter, her thoughts on her friend.

Soon enough she found a clearing in the brush where the tracks ended and gave way to large footsteps that parted bushes and heavy branches. Pushing through the foliage, Applejack found her quarry sitting atop the small rise and gazing out into the seemingly endless expanse of trees before him.

“You shouldn’t be near me.”

She paused at his growl, but slowly pushed forward to where she could sit beside him. “You’ll be glad to know that the twins are about to get a right nasty “talking-to” from Ratchet. I’m mighty sorry they did that to ya.”

“It’s not what they did.” He sighed, arms slumped up onto his knees. “Actually, I should be thanking them for reminding me of something I’d begun to doubt.”

“And what’s that?” She inquired with a raised brow.

“That I’m no good here.”

The mare’s features shifted into one of pity. Ironhide wasn’t usually one to open up, she’d come to find. She reached over or place a supporting hoof on his leg. “And what makes you say that?”

“I...” The Autobot began uneasily, sighing again as he realized it was pointless to keep it from her. “All I’ve known is war. Almost my whole life has been about the Great War. It’s gettin’ to the point where I’m having trouble remembering anything before it.

“Fightin’. Every. Single. Day. I’m so used to...killin’, all manner of it. Watching my home die.” He spoke in a softer tone than she’d ever heard, to the point where she didn’t think it was even possible for the grizzled veteran.

“I’ve watched so many of my friends die, I can’t even bear to count them all. And there was nothin’ I could do! Just keep fightin’. Keep fightin’ and hopefully it’ll stop the killin’ and the dyin’.”

Ah the old Autobot’s voice began to break a little, Applejack could feel her heart ache for him. Hearing her normally gruff and stoic friend feeling this way...it truly hurt.

“It...it got to the point where I enjoyed it. I still do,” Ironhide continued. “...I look around at your home, and it reminds me of the old days of mine. No sufferin’, no war; just peace and happiness. It’s everything I wanted Cybertron to be. I ain’t no peacetime ‘bot. I’m a soldier, a weapon. And what good’s a soldier without a war Now you’re suffering because I can’t escape my nature. I’m not meant to be here. I wish I’d nev-

“Now you hush that sorta talk!” Applejack blurted.

The Autobot turned to her, slightly stunned.

“Now, I know y’all fought that war’a yours for longer than any of us ponies can remember. And you saw some things I’m sure would give even the likes of Chrysalis the willies. You say you’re just a soldier, Ironhide, but you’re so much more than that!”

His gaze turned quizzical and he cocked his head in confusion, to which Applejack grinned.

“Ever since you’ve gotten here, all I’ve seen is a friend. You like to push others to be better. It may look like gripin’ and chidin’, but it’s because you care! You’re always the first into a fight because you don’t wanna see your friends hurt.” She spoke with sincerity and fondness in her voice. The mare reached up and gently removed her hat, emerald eyes shifting up to meet his glimmering blue optics.

“To me, and all your friends, you’re no weapon, Ironhide. You’re a true friend, and nothin’ will ever change that. And that’s the honest truth.” She added the last bit with a wink.

Speechless, Ironhide let her words sink in for a moment. Of all the incredible and miraculous things he’d seen in all his countless eons, it amazed him that this little pony could manage to surprise him.

The more he thought about it, the more he came to see that she was right. He may not be Optimus Prime, but he was a good ‘bot in his own right. And he wouldn’t let anything change that. “You’re right, AJ.”

“Dern tootin’!” She chuckled.

Managing a small laugh in return, Ironhide reaches down and offered her his fist. “Of all the rocks in the universe, I’m glad we landed on this one.”

“So am I, big guy.” She took his offered fist and bumped her hoof against it. “Y’know, for a robot that could take down a hydra, you sure are a big softie.”

“Don’t push it, kid.”

Giggling, the mare stood with a sigh. “Now, what say we go see what punishment Ratchet has in store for those two troublemakers?”

“I had no idea you could be so cruel.” The Autobot responded with a chuckle, standing with her to leave.

The two friends left the grove, one happy that the other was feeling more themself, the other with a new sense of purpose, and both very glad to have found each other.

Transformers: Equestria's Newest Visitors

by LightGust

Shakin' and Bakin'

Iron-forged Honesty