One Nightmare Night a frightened little pony discovers that even the most Fragile Flower can still have thorns.
When her daughter discovers she is afraid of heights, Knightmare tells her the story of how she became known as the pony with a will like tempered steel. Of a Nightmare Night years before when she was Fragile Flower, the pony known only for being afraid of everything. Of the Nightmare Night when the monster, Deimos, came to Canterlot. Of the Nightmare Night when Fragile Flower became Knightmare.
Written for the November 2018 Reviewers Café OC contest.
“Mommy!” The little filly ran to my side, crying so hard she almost wailed. There she curled up around my leg and trembled, her little wings shaking so hard she couldn’t even fold them. “I was so scared!”
“Skybright?!” I nuzzled the little Pegasus and used my nose to wipe away some of my child’s tears. “What happened?” The frightened child couldn’t catch enough breath to answer, and I turned my attention to the two Pegasus guards who had brought Skybright home. “Well?” They snapped straighter when my temper flares nearly to a shout.
“Lady Knightmare.” One quickly saluted me. “She was found nearly halfway up the mountain, alone, hanging onto a small branch and screaming for help.”
“What was she doing up there?!” After the shock of seeing my daughter escorted home by a pair of guards my anxiety nearly boils over, and I have to hold myself quiet while they explain.
“We don’t know, ma’am. But we brought her right here, asap, once we got her down.”
“Sigh,” I said the word aloud, an old habit, “thank you for bringing her home, you two get back to your routes.” The two Pegasai saluted me again before they turned away. I shut the front door with my nose and looked down at my daughter. Skybright’s sky blue body was still quaking, her short yellow-and-white-striped mane clinging to her tiny frame. “Come on, let's get you cleaned up, and then you can tell me what got you halfway up the mountain.” The little filly hiccuped as she tried to catch her breath.
Forcibly, I escorted her to the bathroom with a concerned frown on my face. Skybright’s forelimbs failed to hang onto her towel, and I sat in front of her as I took the towel with my own mouth to clean her up myself, holding the still trembling filly close as I did. Snot and tears dripped from her face for a few minutes more until she got her fear under control.
“There.” I dropped the towel on the sink, my own pale white reflection now dirtied by the effort of cleaning my daughter. “Feel better?” Skybright gasped a few deep breaths and the trembling started to still. “Now, are you ready to tell me what you were doing?”
“Th-the others were calling me names. Tailbrain and flapbutt… and worse.” The hairs on my neck rose along with my anger towards these bullies.
“So what did you do about it?” I almost hissed it, but held myself in check, not wanting to give my daughter the wrong idea.
“I didn’t want to get in a fight.” I nodded approvingly even though Skybright didn’t see it, she was looking down at her own hooves. “So I tried to tell them off. But they followed me, and said I’d never be a good flyer.” The filly hesitated a moment, biting at her lower lip. “I had to prove them wrong, and bet them I could get all the way up the mountain’s scar on my own.”
“The scar!” I gasped. “You know you shouldn’t go up there! It’s too high for you!” Skybright flinched, and I had to collect myself before I snapped out again.
“I thought I could make it. But it kept going up, and up and up.” The filly shuddered again, and I pulled her close, my daughter’s heart beating like a drum against my forelimb. “I landed on a little tree to rest and see how high I’d gone. When I looked down, the ground was so far away. My wings froze up, and I got dizzy.” She started to cry again, unable to finish the story. It didn’t matter, the rest was easy to guess. She’s never flown that high before, the fear of falling must have frozen her to the core.
“Shh, shh… it’s OK now. You’re home, and safe.” I brushed my hoof down her mane, calming her. I can understand the fear of heights, it used to be a terror of my own.
“I tried to be brave, like you.” Skybright hiccuped a few times. “You aren’t afraid of anything.” I almost laughed at how little the filly knew.
“Oh, Skybright.” I set the filly down on her own legs and lead her out into the living room. “I’m more familiar with fear than you might think.” Now it was my turn to hesitate. “He’s an old enemy of mine, one who used to follow me everywhere.” The filly tilted her head to one side, quizzical. I pat the sofa and Skybright obligingly flitted onto it to sit beside me.
“I don’t get it. Fear isn’t a pony, is it?”
“You’re right, of course. Fear isn’t any real creature.” I chuckled. “But that doesn’t mean he didn’t make my life miserable, always pushing me down and holding me back.” I let my eyes come to rest on the pictures over the fireplace, of old friends and family. Some of the ponies in those pictures have been gone a long time. “There was a time in my life when I was afraid of pretty much everything.” My gaze slid to my daughter, only to find Skybright’s face full of slack-jawed disbelief. “My name wasn’t always Knightmare.”
“Your name? Really? Ponies can change names?”
“Sometimes.” I glanced at the picture of Shadow Tempest, who tried to teach me how to fight. “When I was younger my name was Fragile Flower.” I saw Skybright mouthing the words, and screwing up her nose trying to imagine her steel-willed mother as fragile.
“How did that happen? How did you get a new name?”
“It’s a scary story.” I grinned down at my daughter. “Are you sure you want to know?” The filly nodded vigorously, she might be afraid of heights, but not nightmares. “Alright then, don’t say I didn’t warn you. This was before you were born, even before I met your father.” I pulled Skybright close with my forelimb. “It all happened one dark day, on the celebration of Nightmare Night…”
The door shook as the figure on the other side banged hard, I dropped the decoration I was hanging from the lamp as I startled.
“Fragile Flower, let us in, quick! He’s coming!” The pony on the other side of the door sounded nearly hysterical. “Hurry!”
“What’s wrong?” I slid the deadbolt open and cracked the door open an inch to peek out. Then something shoved the door all the way open, and I found myself face to snarling monkey face with the Storm King!
“Rarwl!” He jumped towards me, and I fell back screaming, holding my forelimbs over my face while I shuddered. “Gotcha!” A light laugh, too high pitch for any male, emerged from the would-be tyrant. I wouldn’t look up at him. “Flower? Are you alright?” The laugh faded, and I felt something step closer.
“I told you this was a bad idea.” I blinked slowly and risked a glimpse up. Tirek stood next to the Storm King. Something was weird about his arms, they seemed to hang off his neck in the wrong place. “Don’t worry Fragile, it’s just us.” I glanced again at the two villains and realized they were just costumes.
“Dainty Dawn?” The Storm King pulled her mask off, revealing the grinning cream colored face of her Unicorn friend. “Picket?” Tirek turned out to be Dainty’s grey Pegasus coltfriend, with a pair of plush arms stitched to his outfit’s neck in place of real arms. “Don’t scare me like that.”
“Here, back on your feet.” Picket helped me back upright and the drums beating in my ears faded.
“It’s Nightmare Night! Seriously Fragile, you’ve got to get in the spirit of things.”
“But I am, see?” I waved my forelimb at my apartment, and both Picket and Dainty glanced around trying to find what I meant. “Sigh. Look, I’ve hung up bats!”
“Three paper bats is not ‘getting in the spirit of things,’ Fragile.” Dainty rolled her eyes. “Now come on, we’ve got all sorts of fun ahead of us tonight.”
“I’d really rather not.” My heart started to beat hard, and not in a good way, when I thought about all the other ponies looking at me. “I was just going to stay in and read a good book.”
“I knew you’d say that.” Dainty stepped in behind me and started pushing me out the door, ignoring my protests. “It’s not healthy; you need to get out more!”
“We’ll be right beside you the whole time. You don’t need to be afraid out there.”
“You two can go have fun, I’ll just be a third wheel anyway.”
“We’re not leaving without you!” Dainty huffed, refusing to let me escape. Clearly, I had no say in this.
“…I don’t have a costume.” It was a weak argument and my last hope of staying home.
“Then it’s a good thing I brought one for you.” Dainty giggled mischievously, pulling from her candy bag a purple Unicorn horn headband and clip-on wings, along with a dark grey wig with a magenta streak and matching tail.
“Twilight Sparkle cosplay? Really?” It was Picket’s turn to roll his eyes. Dainty responded by sticking her tongue out at him and forcing the headband on me.
“Well OK, if you really want to stay here, you can…” she grinned evilly, “all alone… in the dark… with all sorts of creepy things hanging around just outside and branches scratching at the window.” My skin was already crawling.
“That’s a dirty trick.” They were both silent, waiting for my answer. I’d never be comfortable alone now. “Sigh. Fine, give me a couple minutes and I’ll be right there.”
I shut the bathroom door behind me, if only to get a moment longer to compose myself. The lock tempted me, and I briefly considered hiding here until they would both leave. But I caught the purple horn headband in the mirror and realized how much effort they were putting into getting me out tonight. I took it off and looked at it for a moment, and then up at my reflection.
The thin Earth pony mare in the mirror looked back at me seemed to be quite uncertain, and unsteady enough that a stiff breeze might knock her over. She had pale white fur, bordering on ghostly, and a light periwinkle blue mane. The only splash of real color on her face were the thin vines of yellowish-orange through her wavy mane. On her flank a light green spiraling vine with three purple flowers hanging from it. Even her eyes were delicate, an ice blue which might at any moment melt down her face. I adjusted my glasses when the headband knocked them askew; I didn’t actually need them and they didn’t even have lenses, but I felt as though they made me look a little less frail and a bit more intellectual instead.
Before heading back out I took one last long deep breath, hoping to steady my nerves. It didn’t work, and I could still feel my limbs shaking as Dainty Dawn and Picket got me down to the street.
Nightmare Night was already in full swing. Children and adults in full costumes were heading up to Canterlot’s center with bags for candy, none of them paid me any attention. As we passed under the steamers of paper bats and low hanging pumpkin lights I ducked reflexively, involuntarily imagining what a falling lamp could do to a pony’s head. When I looked up I found the sky above dismal and grey, which only heightened the spooky mood.
“I overheard some of the other guards saying the Princess thought the weather would help set the mood.” Picket had seen me eying the sky. “It shouldn’t rain though.” That was when the thunder boomed, sending me scurrying for cover. “Can’t promise anything about thunder and lightning.” It took them another minute to get me moving again, and we joined the crowds again.
All the streets in central Canterlot were devoted to the celebration. Stalls containing games and food filled the thoroughfares, and all of them themed around skeletons, bats, and other creepy-crawly things. Over-sized spiderwebs draped from streetlamps, and bats hung from eaves, I swear I saw a few of them move of their own accord. Children with bags newly full of candy sprinted from place to place in colorful costumes of pirates and monsters, their parents following close behind.
“Oooh, where should we go first?” Dainty Dawn shared the foals enthusiasm, nearly dancing on the spot. Picket pointed down the road, plushy arms waving wildly.
“I've got a friend who’s running a haunted house at the museum.” Without any complaint I followed them, it’s not like it would be any worse there than anywhere.
I was wrong, of course. The museum had gone all out; strange things flickered in and out of view in dimly lit windows, ghostly apparitions floated out of the ground to snag at passing ponies, glowing eyes tracked me from the shadows, and there was an occasional terrified scream from somewhere inside.
“That’s uh… a bit much for me.”
“Come on, Fragile! Don’t leave us hanging.” Dainty tugged on my forelimb, trying to drag me inside. But this really was more than I was willing to put up with and dug my heels into the ground.
“Dawn, that’s enough.” Picket pried us apart. “She doesn’t have to go in.”
“Spoilsport.”
“You two go have fun in there, I’ll wait out here.” I glanced around and found a bench underneath a particularly bright streetlamp not far off. “I’ll be right over there.”
“You sure?” Dainty was already pulling at Picket to get him moving as he asked.
“I’ll be fine.”
“OK then.” He finally allowed himself to be drawn off and I moved over to the pool of light to wait and watch all the other ponies having fun. Among all the ninjas and mummies and ghosts there were quite a lot of Storm Kings in the crowd, not surprising considering how fresh the invasion was in our memories. Second in popularity were unreformed changelings, naturally scary in their own right, some seemed so realistic that I considered they might not be costumes at all…
I let my gaze go back to the clouds above, which were growing darker and thicker. For a moment some yellowish glowing thing slipped under the cloud’s edges and into view briefly before disappearing upwards. Something about it disturbed my gut, and I dropped my gaze back to the ground.
A bat-winged shadow suddenly blotted out the light above me, sending a shiver down my spine. Slowly I looked back and up and found a pitch black Alicorn in midnight-blue armor above me, sharp teeth opened as if to bite down on my neck. I screamed as Nightmare Moon descended, flinging myself under the bench for cover. She laughed as if expecting me to join her. I didn’t, I was too busy shaking my fake wings in fear and couldn’t catch my breath. Then her laugh died.
“Oh dear, I seem to have gone a little too far.” Nightmare Moon leaned down and fixed her eyes on me, speaking softly. “Are you alright?” I couldn’t speak, I could barely even hear her over my drumming heartbeat. “You don’t need to fear me, it’s just an illusion.” She removed her helmet, and the darkness lifted from her body to reveal the much softer deep blue of Princess Luna. When I still didn’t come out from under the bench I felt myself lifted out by a gentle spell, and Luna set me down on my own feet. “I apologize, I didn’t know I would terrify you that intensely. I was under the expectation you would enjoy being startled in such a way.”
“P-p-p-p-” I couldn’t even manage to say her name.
“Breathe.” I inhaled sharply at her command and held it for nearly as long as I could. “Let it out slowly. There, is that better?” I did feel better, or maybe I was just too overwhelmed to notice. “Was I really that terrifying?”
“No, Princess. Well, maybe… it’s me. I’m just easily frightened.” I sat down on the bench before my legs could give out.
“One so easily panicked should probably stay home on Nightmare Night.”
“I wanted to, but my friends pulled me out. They thought it would be healthy for me.”
“They are probably correct.” I could feel her eyes boring into me, stern but not unkind. “Do you wish to speak of it?”
“I’ve never really been able to control my fear.” I don’t know why I felt I could be open with her, but suddenly I did. “I’m scared of everything, heights, the dark, strangers, spiders, the attention of ponies I don’t know, even walking down the street can be hard sometimes.” My eyes fell to the ground. The Princess didn’t say anything, but I could tell she was sincerely listening. “Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, and I see things in the way it might scare me off or hurt me. It gets in the way of everything.”
“I am sorry. I do not experience fear as intense as yours, and I suspect you have heard before all the advice I could give you.” She blinks and looks up at the activities around us. “Except, perhaps, that you use tonight and other Nightmare Nights as practice.”
“Practice?”
“In facing your fears in a safe and controlled place. Out tonight, with all the frightful things, yet none of them will harm you.”
“I… hadn’t looked at it that way.” I glanced down at my hoof, still shaking, if not as badly as before. “Thank you.”
“Although, tonight I would suggest you stay clear of the palace courtyard. I have something special planned for later, and I think it may be a bit more than you can stand.”
“You do?” She smiled down at me and leaned in close to whisper.
“Don’t spread it around, I want it to be a surprise.” She paused, I nodded. “I’ve a friend who is going to pretend to attack the crowd with a sword. We’re going to stage a fight, it’ll be quite the show.”
“Oh, uh, thank you for the warning.” Princess Luna backed away from me and put her helmet back on, shifting back into the black form of Nightmare Moon as she did.
“If you will excuse me, I have more ponies to startle.” Then she laughed maniacally again, sending another shiver down my spine, and vanished up into the darkness.
Over the next few hours, I tried my best to ‘practice,’ as Luna had put it. It didn’t go all that well. Spider tossing, arachnophobia. Dunking for apples, aquaphobia kicked in. The costume contest set off phasmophobia of all things. I tried, I really did. But as the night grew darker and the fog thickened I felt I had enough. At least Dainty and Picket were willing to escort me back home.
“Did we take a wrong turn somewhere?” I glanced around, looking for a street sign, but couldn’t find one through the dense fog. “Where are we?”
“I think we got turned around somewhere.” We weren’t the only ones confused by the heavy mist. Several other ponies were looking around with some concern.
“I overheard some of the other guards saying the Princess had something different planned, think this is it?”
“No.” I was quite certain that was true.
“Yeah, it’s not spooky so much as inconvenient. I can barely see!”
“Hang on, that’s the palace gate.” Picket pointed to an arch above us. My heart jumped up to my throat and I froze. “We must’ve wandered over here by accident.”
“We might as well see what the palace has to offer.” Dainty pulled me along, I couldn’t find the air to argue. I hadn’t told them about Luna’s warning. We didn’t get far before we ran into the back end of a sizable crowd. There weren’t shouts of joy or excitement here, only concerned and confused murmuring.
“We should go…” but neither of my friends heard my whispered plea. “Please…”
Something moved in the air above us, glowing a sickly yellow, and alighted on the archway now behind us. The source of the light hissed, I got the strange impression it was somehow amused.
“I apologize for the inclement weather.” Luna’s voice suddenly boomed out from where the castle’s balcony should be. Before I could get back to my feet the fog began to lift, and I could see clearly again. I looked up at where Luna was clearing away the mist, still wearing her Nightmare Moon illusion. We were indeed in the palace courtyard, right where I didn’t want to be. “The fun can now resume!”
Somepony screamed, and it wasn’t me for once. Then more voices joined the first, and ponies started pointing back at the archway. I almost didn’t dare to look back, but everypony, and I do mean every pony, was staring open-jawed at something there.
Perched atop the palace archway was a monster, unlike any I had ever imagined. It was roughly the shape of a pony if twice the size or larger, and its outline was the source of the sickening glow nearly the color of vomit. A skeletal structure, itself bio-luminescent and green, was visible through its translucent body. The monster’s skull had no eye sockets atop a neck far too long. When the single massive eye in its chest blinked the eyelids came from the sides. Two massive wings fluttered in the breeze like scraps of tattered cloth, and a dark mist bled off them. In place of a tail, it had four long writhing tentacles dotted with sharp looking spines.
It laughed, a hideous hissing noise that turned my gut.
“Delicious…” The creature spoke, it’s voice almost outside audible pitch, and hurt to hear. “Absolutely delicious.” Then it dropped from its perch and slowly advanced towards the crowd, blocking our exit. It’s tri-cloven hooves left behind visible prints which burned like afterimages of an ultraviolet light in the dark.
“Who are you, what are you doing here?” Luna landed between it and us, her voice stern and serious. My legs gave out, I was shaking so badly my clip-on wings fell off.
“Come to feast. Deimos.” The eye swiveled across the gathered ponies. “A generous meal prepared for Deimos.” The beak-like jaw was split in three and clicked unnaturally as two tongues flicked out between fangs.
“You will find no sustenance here, Deimos. Begone!” The monster ignored her implied threat, leaning its skull towards her and inhaling deeply.
“Feed Deimos… fear Deimos.” Smoke-bleeding wings snapped wide open and thrashing tentacles cracked the stone courtyard. “Fear Deimos!” Its shriek, way out of normal audible range, shot through me like a banshee wail. I was already on the ground, unable to move or even look away. More screams from the crowd as the shout cut them to the bone.
“Enough!” Luna shot a bright beam at the creature, blue magic dispersed as it impacted the dark mist seeping off the wings.
“Yes…” The voice hissed again. “Feed Deimos.” It snapped out at her with its fangs, striking like a viper. The Princess leaped out of reach, and the monster followed her up. Light flashed as she engaged the monster in the air.
“Wow, that is horrifying.” Picket whistled, impressed. “The Princess really outdid herself.”
“It’s an act?!” Dainty was clutching Picket’s leg. Looking as frightened as I felt. A nearby pony overheard, and it was repeated through the gathering. Some of the ponies started to shout encouragement, believing it was all just a show. For a moment I started to feel safer, but then I remembered…
“With a sword…”
“What?” Dainty Dawn hadn’t heard me clearly and leaned over to listen.
“She said, a friend with a sword.” Dainty’s eyes went wider, if that were possible, as my words sank in. I wasn’t watching the fight in the air, so I didn’t see what happened, but Luna suddenly shrieked out in pain and shot towards the ground, slamming into the wall not far from us with a bone cracking crunch. Deimos landed heavily between us and her, cracking stone. “That thing is real!” Picket heard me and wasted no time responding.
The trained Pegasus guard darted forward and kicked the monster hard in the side. Its eye, supposedly facing away from us, turned and stared right at him through its own body and bones. One tail tentacle lanced out and yanked Picket into the air effortlessly by the arms of his Tirek costume. It twirled him like a child’s toy until the plush arms tore off and hurled Picket into the crowd, bowling over a number of ponies. The screams became more intense now it was clear this was no act.
Dainty abandoned me to run to her coltfriend and I suddenly realized the crowd was backing away from the monster, leaving me and Luna the closest two ponies to Deimos. My legs wouldn’t respond, and I couldn’t bring myself to even blink.
“Good… Yes, this is what Deimos wants.” The monster’s skeletal glow began to intensify, its vomit yellow body pulsing visibly like a beating heart.
“To the Princess! Rally!” Some unknown-but-brave guardspony in the crowd shouted, and the guards leaped to the defense of their fallen Princess. Multicolored beams converged on the monster but deflected off its disrupting smoke. The creature turned slowly and swatted ponies aside with its four tails. Within a moment the courtyard was full of the wounded lying in heaps and piles.
Then Demos turned back towards Luna, intent on finishing what it started. All through this, I hadn’t moved, I couldn’t look away or even twitch. Somewhere in my mind, I recognized this sensation. The crippling fear of the worst possible outcome. Every pony here was going through what I lived with… every day. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but this made it seem not quite so horrible.
“This is what?” Deimos blinked, sideways. I didn’t know where I found my legs, I didn’t know when I had even moved. I didn’t know what I was doing. There I was, a little Fragile Flower standing alone between Luna and Deimos, who seemed to be made of fear itself. Every eye was focused on me, Deimos’s most of all.
“I w-w-w-won’t-” I shuddered, my tail between my legs. It laughed, the static hiss bringing bile to my throat.
“You have no say.” A spiked tail slapped the ground at my side. I was too terrified to flinch, every ounce of my being focused on simply standing. “But you taste…” twin tongues flicked, “so good.” A tentacle gripped me by the rear leg and hauled me into the air, hanging me over the monster. “Now, to eat.” Deimos’s horrible jaw opened, too wide to be real. As I stared down into its gullet I thought the monster was going to swallow me whole.
By some quirk of luck, my body tried to pull my legs up as I tightened in terror at the exact moment before his tail let go. I screamed as his jaw clamped on my right forelimb, and my body swung like a doll on a string. My basophobia kicked out at random for purchase.
I found it right on Deimos’s eye, my hoof slipping under its gooey eyelid. The monster screamed, but I was still stuck on his fangs. Tearing pain shot through my limb.
Lightning cracked right above us, a new pony appearing in the flash. Before I was thrown free I caught a single glance at him. He was a dark purple Unicorn in heavy armor, in his neon blue aura a long sword blazing with white flame. On his back were a pair of obviously magical wings which gleamed like polished black steel in the light cast by the sword. My head cracked against the wall and everything flashed white before my aichmophobia could even start to respond.
Weakly I opened my eyes, the bright light hurt as they adjusted, something was wrapped around my head and blocking my left eye. Above me was an unfamiliar ceiling. My right forelimb hurt, a dull throbbing ache I couldn’t quite explain.
“She’s awake. Please tell the Princess.” A voice I didn’t know, a stallion. Hoofsteps left the room.
“Where?” I meant to say more, but my mouth was dry as the desert. A glass of water floated over to me, hovering in a neon blue aura.
“Canterlot royal hospital.” I tracked the sound as I drank, finding the voice’s owner to my side. It was the dark purple Unicorn with the magic wings. His angular helmet was sitting on the floor next to his long sword, propped up against the corner. “That was stupid and reckless. But…” He bowed, lightly tipping his head to one side and closing his eyes. The simple gesture seemed to be deeply respectful. “Thank you.” I didn’t understand, and he must have read my confusion. “I didn’t get there fast enough. If you hadn’t stood against Deimos, even for those few seconds that you did, it probably would have killed Luna.”
“Who… are you?”
“Ah, my name is Stardust.” He nodded again. “You may have guessed I was to be the villain in our show.” He tipped his head, and his eyes shot to the side, listening for something I didn’t hear. “The Princess is coming, she wishes to speak with you.” He backed a few steps away from my hospital bed as Luna entered the room somewhat unsteadily. Her wing was held in a splint, and her body wrapped in bandages, her Nightmare Moon illusion and costume removed.
“It is good to see you alive. I wanted to personally thank you for what your action, and to ask why.”
“I… I don’t know.”
“You must have a will like tempered steel to have faced down a monster like that.” Stardust spoke again and Luna nearly laughed at him but winced when she drew in a breath. I supposed, from his point of view, that might be the truth.
“Was anypony else hurt?”
“Many of the guards have injuries, although none as severe as your own.”
“My…?” I tried to look down, but my neck was stiff. When I tried to push myself upright I only succeeded in pushing myself over, rolling onto my right side and sending a shooting pain through my body.
“Easy.” Stardust caught me before I could push myself out of the bed, and set me back against the headrest so I could see what had happened to me. “It will take some time to adjust.” I couldn’t respond, I was too busy staring at my right forelimb.
Or rather, the bandaged stump where it should have been.
Everything went fuzzy, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe right. For all my years of fears of injury, I had never imagined actually losing a limb. The shock of it hit me with all the weight of a brick wall. All sound vanished beneath the pounding in my ears, all sensation washed away. What was I going to do? I hadn’t a clue, and then everything just kind of went numb. Tears built in my eyes, I couldn’t see past the blur. I reflexively tried to wipe them away, but my stump wiggled uselessly and I couldn’t work up enough willpower to even try to use my other limb.
“The doctors couldn’t save your forelimb.” Luna dropped her head. “There was too much damage, and Deimos had some kind of destructive venom. They had to remove the limb or it would have killed you.” They were silent for a while, as I tried and failed to compose myself. “If you wish, we will leave you to grieve.” Luna even turned to go, but Stardust did not. Ordinarily, I might welcome solitude, but at that moment I feared to be alone more than anything I’d ever experienced, excluding Deimos.
“I understand.” He spoke quietly, his voice softer than before. “Loss.” He fell silent for a long moment. “Let me overwhelm you with some advice. It will sting, you will feel it every day. Every moment you spend dwelling on it will drag you down. If you don’t learn to fight against that feeling, it will bury you.”
“I’ve had to fight my fear, every day of my life.”
“Then you’ve had plenty of practice, the two are not that dissimilar.” He glanced down at his own hoof, and I somehow noticed that it was shaking. “I’ve had my own experience with that kind of fear.” Luna stood closely next to him, and her presence stabilized him.
“If you need our help, we’ll gladly provide it.” I stared down at my stump again, trying to comprehend what I was going to do. “This is embarrassing, but I never got your name.”
“A nightmare, it’s all a nightmare…” I mumbled it to myself, I hadn’t really been listening to her question.
“Knightmare?” I blinked in confusion and met the Princess’s eyes. I was about to correct her when the doctor came back in.
“I’m sorry Princess, but I have to ask you to return to your own bed. You both need rest to properly recover.”
“Only a moment longer, please.” The doctor obliged but remained nearby, tapping his hoof expectantly. “Thank you again, Knightmare, for what you did for me. I will remember you.” She nodded deeply towards me and then allowed the doctor to lead her away. Stardust watched her go, and then looked me in the eye.
“So, what is your name, really?”
“…Fragile Flower.” I almost expected him to laugh. Instead, he studied my face, and I soon felt the need to squirm uncomfortably under his stare. He gave me his respectful bow one more time and then gathered his helmet and sword from the corner. Before he left he looked back and said one last thing.
“Perhaps… the flower is not so fragile after all. Farewell, Knightmare.”
“So you got your name because the Princess misheard you?”
“That’s right.” I laughed briefly. “At first only the Princess and Stardust called me that. But then so did my friends as they saw me get stronger. I even tried to sign up for the royal guards under that name. Between my missing limb and my scrawny body I couldn’t cut it, but they still respect me for trying. It’s been what everypony has called me ever since.”
Skybright was silent for a few moments, eying my missing leg.
“I didn’t know you lost your forelimb.” The filly gingerly touched my stump, it had long ago stopped hurting. “For some reason, I thought you just… never had one in the first place.”
“It took me a long time to learn how to live without it.” I pulled my gaze from my daughter and over to the prosthetic by the front door. “Longer still to learn how to live without depending on the enchanted leg Stardust made me.”
“Why don’t you wear it at home? I’ve always wondered.”
“Can you keep a secret?” I smiled down at Skybright until the filly nodded. “Ever since that day, whenever I felt afraid, I would look back and remember I had already faced a terrible monster. My everyday fears seemed so much smaller in comparison. Stardust told me I had to fight, so fight I did. In a strange way, my missing limb is a source of strength. Sometimes I still feel one of my old phobias resurfacing, but then I focus on my leg and living without it. It takes so much to face life missing a limb that I don’t have time to be afraid of the little things.”
“Things do scare you? Still?”
“Of course. I can still be startled and surprised, and I still shake when I’m the center of attention in a crowd. But I can fight back now, I can push down the fear and stand straight. I never would have met your father if I couldn’t, I’ll tell you that story some other time.” I paused for a moment, reading Skybright’s confusion. The depth of the conversation just a little more than the young pony could really understand. “So you see, it’s not that I’m not afraid of anything, it’s that I know how to control my fear.” Skybright was silent, considering my words.
“Can you teach me? To be like you?” The filly looked up at me with begging eyes and hopeful wide wings.
“How to get over your fear? I can teach you some of the tricks I’ve learned, yes. In the end, you have to overcome your mind on your own.” The little wings slowly fell. “But when you fall, I can be there to catch you.” I stood, heading towards the front door, then stopped and looked back at Skybright. “Well? Are you coming?”
“Right now?”
“If you want to start practicing, now is as good a time as any. Although we’ll start at something a little lower than the mountain.” At this Skybright cheered out in joy, and darted towards the door ahead of me. As I passed, I glanced down at the stump on my limb and then the prosthetic. For a moment I could feel the eyes of everypony who might see me, and my remaining limbs began to shiver. “Not today, Deimos.” With a determined smile on my face, I slowly strode away with my daughter at my side, shutting the door on my fears.
