Adagio's Messy Night
Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk were partying at a nightclub. They were having a good time, except while Aria and Sonata were only drinking soda, Adagio was drinking beer and liquor heavily. In an hour she drank 14 pint glasses of beer and 8 glasses of whiskey, brandy, and vodka, as well as a few martinis.
Sometimes Aria or Sonata would have a few drinks too, so at first this was nothing to worry about. But as Adagio drank more and more, she became drunker and drunker.
Finally, after Aria's 14th beer, Aria and Sonata had enough.
"That's it, Adagio, we're going home," said Aria.
Aria and Sonata led Adagio out the door towards the car. Before they could reach it, Adagio suddenly threw up. Her vomit splashed all over Aria's shoes.
"Ugh," said Aria in disgust while Sonata laughed.
"Bartender, can I get ten more beers?" said Adagio drunkenly.
"No, you're going straight home," said Aria. "Now get your ass in the car."
Aria got Adagio into the back seat of the car and then got into the driver's seat while Sonata sat in the passenger seat beside her.
"These shoes take forever to wash," said Aria as she pulled out of the parking lot and into the road.
Adagio's head was spinning, and as they made another turn, Adagio vomited again, this time all over the seat beside her.
Aria groaned in disgust. She felt like vomiting herself with the smell that was in the car now. So did Sonata, who was gagging rather than laughing this time. Both Aria and Sonata opened their car windows, and then Aria opened both the back windows.
"If it's not too much trouble, can you try not to puke again until we get home?" said Aria.
Adagio let out a loud, wet fart in response, and about a second before the fart ended, she started to pee, wetting her pants and her white panties, as well as the seat, not to mention there was a small brown stain on her butt from her fart.
Aria and Sonata took one whiff of the fart, and, combined with the vomit, the smell was too much for them. Aria stopped the car on the side of the road, and both she and Sonata leaned out the windows and started vomiting onto the road and sidewalk, respectively.
"Are... are you really drunk too?" said Adagio as she finished peeing.
Sonata finished puking and looked up. "Ooh! Aria! There's a porta potty there!"
"That's exactly what we need," said Aria. She and Sonata got out of the car, opened the back door, and got Adagio out.
"Are we going back to the bar?" said Adagio.
"No, we're getting you to a bathroom this instant, so you can puke without ruining my car any more than you already did."
"And from the sound of that fart, you sounded like you were about to soil yourself as well," said Sonata.
Adagio farted again. This fart was wetter than the last, and Aria was sure Adagio had soiled her panties slightly.
"Double time, Sonata!" said Aria. "If she soils herself all the way it'll stain the car worse than the vomit and pee stains she already left, AND we'll have to put up with the smell the rest of the drive home!"
They got Adagio to the door of the porta potty.
"What's in there?" said Adagio.
"A bathroom," said Aria. "Now go in there and do your business!"
Adagio entered the porta potty. She pulled down her pants, sat on the toilet, and released the contents of her bowels.
Aria and Sonata could hear Adagio farting from outside. Sonata giggled, while Aria groaned in disgust, but it was happening in the porta potty and not in the car with her, so she wouldn't have to put up with the smell.
"Oh, you had bad diarrhea like this a few times too," said Sonata. "You're even gassier than her if I recall."
"Shut up," said Aria. "And at least I'm not as gassy as YOU."
"Of course not! I love farting!" Sonata let out a loud fart, though not nearly as wet as Adagio's farts. Aria rolled her eyes, listening to Adagio farting and mumbling words neither she nor Sonata could understand.
Inside the porta potty, Adagio was having terrible diarrhea, exploding out of her butt rather noisily, and splattering into the toilet below. She threw up again, mostly from her drunkenness but possibly in part due to the smell. Her vomit splashed down the front of her shirt and between her legs into the toilet, while her diarrhea would not stop.
Then, the toilet overflowed, and she could feel a pool of diarrhea on her butt. It took about five seconds for her to realize what was happening, and she stood up. Diarrhea was shooting out of her rear like a projectile, and Adagio vomited again.
Outside, Aria and Sonata waited for Adagio to come out. 10 minutes after she entered, the farting and retching stopped, but Adagio still didn't come out.
"She's taking a long time," said Sonata.
"Thanks, Captain Obvious," said Aria.
Eight more minutes later, they realized why Adagio wasn't coming out yet. They opened the door to the porta potty.
Adagio was asleep, sitting on the overflowed toilet. And she was covered in vomit and diarrhea, especially her pants and panties, which were still down. Her shirt was mostly covered with vomit. There was a lot of vomit and diarrhea on the floor as well, and even some on the walls.
Sonata took one whiff of the stench coming from inside and passed out, while Aria covered her nose and mouth. "Damn it, Adagio!"
Aria dragged Adagio out of the ruined porta potty and pulled her soiled pants and panties back up. When Sonata woke up, she smelled Adagio and held her nose.
"She smells worse than that time I ate three whole cans of beans!"
"No argument there. Now help me get her into the car."
Aria opened the car door, and picked up Adagio by her back while Sonata grabbed her feet with one hand while holding her nose with the other.
They got her into the back seat, laying down. They knew the seats would be heavily stained after this, and after making them endure this horrible stench, they were sure they'd say exactly how it happened when they got it fixed.
Besides, Sonata would just laugh it off the next day.
As Aria drove home, Sonata had her head out the window, taking deep breaths of fresh air, while Aria did her best to not throw up again, because the smell inside was worse than when Adagio farted.
Adagio woke up when they were halfway home. She was still drunk, and didn't know what was going on. "Was I playing in the mud?"
"No," said Aria. "Now go back to sleep before you make a bigger mess."
Adagio let out a sloppy wet fart, which lasted several seconds, causing the inside of the car to smell even worse.
"I think I sat in a mud puddle..." Adagio sharted one more time and fell asleep again, and Aria and Sonata were relieved to hear her snoring.
...
Adagio woke with a start at the feeling of cold water raining down on her. She looked around. She was laying in a cold shower in a filthy and smelly outfit. And she was still hammered.
"What's going on?" she said in a drunken voice.
"We're giving you a shower, that's all you need to know," said Aria.
They weren't able to clean her completely with the shower alone, but they washed most of the mess off her. Then they put mattress protection on her bed, turned the shower off, and hauled her into bed, putting her blankets over her.
"Sweet dreams," said Aria. "We'll never let you hear the end of this."