Critical Hit!
Luna trudged down the halls of her castle, suppressing the urge to yawn every two seconds. Every friendly greeting from the guards was ignored and every issue brought up by her subjects were not her problem anymore. The sun was slowly rising to wash away another night’s work. She enjoyed working the night shift and helping ponies battle with their nightmares from time to time. But, at the end of each night, Luna is ready to collapse and be snug in her bed by the crack of dawn.
Speaking of the crack of dawn, Luna was too tired to lift her head up and realize her horn was aiming for the backside of her sister, Celestia. A simple poke making contact to her rump startled her to the point of momentarily breaking her demure stature. The shock caused her to make a short whinny, snapping Luna out of her trance and quickly backing away from her sister’s hindquarters. Celestia looked behind her with a surprised expression, but her face quickly recovered back her warm and welcoming disposition at the sight of her beloved sister. She turned around to properly face her smaller sister and smile back. Luna turned her gaze away from her smile as she tried to save face from an embarrassing incident.
“Good morning~!” Celestia greeted cheerily. “Has your night been an uneventful one?”
Luna shuffled her hooves, still avoiding eye contact. Her nights are rarely so uneventful, as there are many ponies every night that are in need of her guidance. “Uhh… same old routine,” Luna answered. She let out a weak chuckle in the hopes of moving the topic along so she can go to bed that much faster.
“Well, before you retire for the day, I’d like it if you were to come down to the dining hall and have breakfast with me.” Celestia, hoping to hype her sister up, leaned closer to emphasize today’s menu. “We’re having waffles~!”
Luna could hardly contain her enthusiasm. She softly shook her head and tried to weasel out of it. “I’m exhausted, dear sister. I require a good night’s sleep as soon as possible.”
Celestia felt a little heartbroken by this, but she understood how Luna felt deep down. After all, she had a night in her shoes before. “Well, if you want breakfast, you are welcome to come join me.” Celestia walked around Luna to go have some food before her day started. “Have a good sleep, sister.”
Approaching the halls leading to her quarters, Luna started to feel a tinge of excitement, just barely piercing through her exhaustion. Each step started to feel agonizing, as a wanting need grew in her. As she approached her bedroom door, she looked around to see if anypony was around. No one to her left? No one to her right? Perfect. The coast was clear. Luna opened the door and dashed inside before closing it behind her. She opened her window to let a breeze of fresh air waft inside to wake her up a little bit before reaching her hooves under the bed. Gingerly, she managed to grab something boxy and drag it out from its secret dwelling place.
The object in question was a strange, primitive looking machine with a slot on the top, two slots on the side, a button on top, and a slider next to it. This peculiar piece of machinery was what Luna was looking forward to all night! She purchased it a week ago in secret when attending an Inventor Expo in Manehatten, where many bright scientists and engineers showcase their newest magical technologies to the world. She was one of the first to purchase this strange machine purely out of curiosity. At first, she was skeptical that it was all that special. But, as the days went by, she became a believer! She reached her hooves back under her bed to pull out an opened bag of chips, a controller, and a rectangular crystal with a label on it reading “Princess Quest”.
Luna squealed in joy as she placed the box in the middle of an empty space of her room, enough space to rest on her side and enjoy her activities in leisure. She took the controller and plugged it into one of the machine’s side ports. Then, she took the rectangular crystal and planted into the slot on the top. Having set everything up, she pushed the power button on the machine. The crystal in the slot glowed with a soft hum as a magical image is projected above the console. Unfortunately, the image flickered and generated garbled, distorted objects.
“Ah. Blast it”, Luna cursed under her breath as she turned the power off and ejected the cartridge. “Lousy thing must have gotten dusty while I was away.” She uses her magic to levitate a clean cloth from one of her drawers and polished the crystal into a sparkling shine. Satisfied, she tried to power the crystal again. This time, it was projecting clear but blocky images and emitting vibrations that sounded like music. “Finally! I’ve been dying to get out of town and go to the next dungeon.” She levitated the controller, consisting of one control stick and one button, to her side and laid on the floor, preparing to stay on it until she finished her game. She unrolled her bag of chips and levitated a chip into her mouth, completely engrossed in her adventure.
The smell of the chips wafted through the window, catching itself on the breeze before dissipating. However, on one of its runs to nab something tasty for its young, a single yellow jacket flew near the window and caught the scent of food on its antennae. It circled back to the source to take a look inside. It saw strange moving images, a pony lying on the ground, and a bag. It buzzed its way inside to pinpoint the scent further. As it got closer behind Luna, it found its way near the bags opening. It hovered for a moment before zipping inside to reap its potatoey bounty. Luna looked around for a second, almost afraid that her sister might be coming. She thought she heard something besides the game’s music. She adjusted a slider on the machine to lower the volume of the crystal’s sounds. After a minute of silence, she assumed it was just the wind and continued playing.
Getting the urge for another chip, Luna used her magic to rustle in the bag and get out another chip. However, she managed to get a chip that the wasp was standing on. As she levitated it closer to her mouth, she looked down on the chip and stared at the unwelcome visitor for a minute before going into hysterics.
“Gah! A foul wasp!” she cried out! Almost immediately, she smacked the chip and the wasp out of the air with her hoof. They both land on the floor behind her with soft, crackling noise. She jumped from off the floor and cautiously observed the wasp. It wasn’t moving. Her hoof must have killed the poor thing. Showing very little remorse for her actions, Luna decided to throw the thing’s body in the garbage before going back to her game. She used her magic to safely lift it and tossed it into her waste bin. The deed being done, she planted herself on the floor next to the system again, laid on her side, and continued playing.
Unbeknownst to her, the wasp wasn’t dead, but merely shocked by the impact. It started to move again, slowly getting its bearings before buzzing its wings to lift itself off. It slowly hovered towards the window before catching one more glimpse of the pony that tried to kill it. As it stared at her more and more, a deep, seething rage built up inside of it. Its stinger protruded out of its abdomen as it flew closer and closer behind her. It looked down from its height, seeking out a target for its revenge. It eventually zeroed in on her right buttock, as it was a large, exposed area to hit. She even positioned her star-spangled tail out of the way to expose herself more. Dedicated on the notion of stinging her royal hind-ness, the wasp dived down, stinger first, to strike where she doesn’t suspect.
Luna hears that slight buzzing noise again, but it sounds… angrier this time. Before she got the chance to find the source of the sound, a sharp, burning pain shot through her butt as the wasp buried its stinger deep inside her.
“YEOWCH!”
Luna let out a loud yelp as she kicked her hind legs in response, trying desperately to get up from the floor again. After a bit of struggling, she got up on her hooves and looked behind her. In the corner of her eye, she can see the wretched insect still burying its stinger as deep as it can to give her as much grief as possible. However, that grief swiftly turned into anger as Luna shouted back at the bug.
“We demand that you cease your attack on our royal self immediately! Otherwise, we’ll remove you by force!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. Some ponies, like Fluttershy, can communicate with some creatures. An alicorn of the night is no exception. She figured that her Royal Canterlot Voice would possibly intimidate it from doing any more damage to her back end. Once the wasp recovered from the brunt of Luna’s sheer volume, it stared back at her with its menacing compound eyes. Luna’s face tried to stay stern, even as the insect’s venom continued to irritate her sore spot. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, the insect retracted its stinger from Luna’s rump. A sensitive welt quickly formed around the area of the sting, but Luna was relieved that the bug’s dagger was finally out.
The relief didn’t last long, however, as she quickly realized it wasn’t flying away. In fact, it was walking further down towards the dead center of her rump! She started to sweat a bit as she felt its little legs crawling around on her fur, walking towards the dead center of her buttock. She completely lost sight of the wasp, and she feared the worst on what it planned to do.
“T-This is your last warning…” she stuttered, losing a little bit of her thunder. She just felt the wasp standing there, right on her softest, plumpest spot. Suddenly, a surge of white hot pain shot through her rump again!
“OWWW!”
That sting felt a whole lot worse than the last one! Luna kicked her leg again and again in a vain attempt to wedge the bug off of her, but it held on tight with its sting firmly planted in her rear. Luna gritted her teeth and turned her head to look behind her again with a pained, furious expression on her face. Although she can’t see it, she knew it’s still there. She knew the message it made quite clearly: it wasn’t ready to leave until it gave Luna enough pain for her to beg for mercy.
“That’s the last mistake you’re ever going to make,” Luna uttered in sheer anger. She walked towards her bedside drawer, straining to move her right hind leg. The wasp's stinger stuck in her made it taxing for her to even walk! How dare this miserable insect ruin her leisurely merriment! She didn’t even care that her game was still running. She wanted this pest dead. Opening the drawer, she shuffled the contents about for a magazine. Finding one, she promptly used her magic to roll it up and hover it behind her. She can still feel the wasp's stinger inside, pumping droplets of venom to make her rump ache.
Luna tongue hangs between her lips on the side of her mouth. Her brow furrows with concentration as she braced herself for her attack. Her rump gives a little shake as the shadow of the magazine loomed over the wasp. Knowing an attack when it sees one, the wasp quickly dislodged itself from Luna and flew away before she struck the stung area with a hard swing.
“Ouch!”
The resulting impact sent a wave of pain and discomfort as her cheek jiggled a little. She took a second to reflect that maybe hitting the sensitive welt it left behind was not the best idea, but it had to be done to kill the bug. She turned her body around and bent her head down to find the fiend’s carcass. However, her heart sank when she couldn't find it. It had to be still around her. Perhaps even…
With quick thinking, Luna prepared a magic barrier around her. In the nick of time, the wasp’s stinger found itself to be stuck on the magical force field around her. Luna turned to find the little insect struggling, pleased that she outwitted the rascal. A wry smile flashed as she telekinetically got a grasp on the yellow jacket and lowered the field. Although the bug tried desperately to thrust its stinger in her direction, it was too late. It finally was caught.
“Awww, what’s the matter?” Luna asked in a mockingly condescending tone. You didn’t think you would best a mighty alicorn like me, did you?” She lifted her right hoof off the floor and planted it firmly on her chest, radiating a smug aura of proud regality. “You may have had the upper-hoof, once or twice. Maybe three times…” She uttered that last sentence under her breath. “However, dirty tactics will only get you so far!” An almost devilish smile formed on her face, almost striking fear in the wasp. “Now you are under my jurisdiction.”
As she grinned evilly at the poor creature, the music of her game hit her ears once more. What once was background noise during her epic battle of wits became a siren’s call to her. She took a look at the clock by her bed. She had one hour left before she had to put her game away and go to bed. She didn’t want to stay up too late. Otherwise, she could risk falling asleep in the dream realm and cause her own dreams to infect others. She still had time to face the boss of the dungeon, but she first had to deal with her intruder properly.
Getting a leftover water glass from the top of her bedside drawer and the rolled up magazine, she placed the wasp in cup and the magazine on top, trapping it inside. Satisfied with her makeshift jail-cell, she placed the cup on the drawer and turned around to leave the wasp in it small space of isolation. Of course, she couldn’t pass up another chance to gloat. She backed up towards the jar, close enough for the wasp to get a good view, but far enough to prevent knocking over the cup. Shockingly, the wasp watched as the princess sultrily shook her rump with her glittering, cosmic tail moved aside, bearing it all for the bug to see. She hummed a taunting melody in celebration over a frivolous but hard-fought victory.
“I hope you had your fun torturing this poor princess’s hindquarters, because this will probably be the last thing you see.” A little bit of her time as Nightmare Moon was showing.
The wasp was confused at first, not knowing what to make of this. But, as she talked a bit more smack to it, it slowly regained its anger. In fact, the swaying of Luna’s butt made it even angrier than it ever was before. Its stinger repeatedly and instinctively thrusted in and out of its abdomen, overwhelmed with the thoughts of stinging the millennium-year-old brat’s rump once more. No. Two more. No! Several times more! So much more that would dedicate its entire life to stinging her.
Unaware of the wasp’s detest for her, Luna flicked her tail high and proudly walked towards her game console. She picked up her controller and laid back-
“Ah.”
She uttered a slightly pained cry when she accidentally added pressure to her sore welts from laying on the floor. A quick readjustment to her other side and she was ready to go.
Fifteen minutes passed as Luna enjoyed fighting through slews of adversaries to get to the end of the dungeon. Her mind was so preoccupied with winning the fight against the boss that she forgot about the wasp trapped in a glass by her bed. Its fury caused it to try several times to fruitlessly move the cup, but simply wouldn’t budge from its almost weightless body. As it was scrambling at the top of the glass, it noticed that there was a small hole formed between the edge of the magazine and rim of the cup. Luna must have thought to give it some air to breath to keep it alive when she came back. However, she overestimated the size of the hole a tiny amount. Yellow jackets are much smaller than regular wasps, so it used its size to its advantage to try and squeeze itself through. It’s a tight fit, but if it can give it one more…
“Aha! There you are, you foul demon!” Luna shouted at the pixels on the projected image. “You may have bested my father, but I assure you that I’m more than a match for you!” She selected a command to attack. Her avatar landed its blow and performed a critical hit on the sizable beast. “Ah, ha! Luck is on my side now! Let’s see youuuuaaaaAAAAH!” Luna’s taunts cut short as the wily wasp brandished its stinger right in front of her face. In a panic, she took her controller and swung it at the bug. She barely missed as the wasp flew in circles around her.
In a panic, Luna jumped up from the floor once more to fight a different monster altogether. She continued to spin in place, trying desperately to smack it with her controller. Miss after miss, the controller’s wires start to circle around her. Tired and slightly dizzy, she made one more effort to kill it before she felt something constricting around her hooves. In some twist of fate, the cord managed to create a tight knot to hold her hooves together! Unable keep her balance, she fell forward onto the floor, hitting her chin.
Still dizzy from the fall, Luna slowly looks around to find herself in a new predicament. Then, the realization of her compromising position hit her like a ton of bricks. The cord is preventing her from getting up and her backside is held as high as it can go. A cold sweat broke out. She can hear buzzing above her. She turned her neck and head to get a better look at her attacker.
“Per…” She tried to choose her words carefully. “Perhaps, we can make a treaty?” Her voice began to stutter. “M-ma-maybe a bag of chips? F-for you and your hive?” Every word was falling on deaf ears. All the wasp could see was bright red anger, longing to make a pincushion out the butt that fate served to it on a silver platter. In some small way, it was going to enjoy this. The wasp dived down as fast as it could, wanting to deliver maximum impact. The stinger effortlessly pierced her left cheek like a hot knife through butter, sending another shocking blow.
“OW!”
Not wanting to stay in one place for long, the wasp dislodged itself from her, lifted itself up, and dove down again. Its stinger pierced her inner part of her right cheek.
“YEOW!”
It repeated and alternated its attacks. Left cheek.
“AAH!”
Right.
“AAGH!”
Left.
“EEP!”
It continued its onslaught against Luna mercilessly, without rest, as quick as a bullet. After a few more stings, Luna struggled to flick her tail around in an attempt to dissuade her winged punisher. But, when her tail was out of the way for a brief moment, it dived in once more and jabbed its stinger in her. Time stood still. An excruciating amount of pain hit her nerves at such a speed that she barely had a moment to comprehend what happened. Did the wasp miss its intended target, or did it want to hit her where it hurts the most? She can feel it digging deeper in. There was no mistaking it.
It hit something sensitive.
It hit something private.
A piercing scream echoed throughout the castle. A nearby diligent guard sounded an alarm, shouting that Princess Luna was in serious danger. In hardly any time at all, word reached Princess Celestia about her endangered sister before she had the chance to exit the castle. With the fury of the very sun she commands, she raced down the halls with several of her best soldiers by her side. When she approached the door to her bedroom, she wasted no time to burst inside and see Luna, in a lewd position, whimpering incoherently. The stallions’ faces turned beet red, as the image of their princess’s rump was etched permanently in their minds. Celestia, snapping out of the situation, quickly dismissed the guards and quickly commanded them to forget what they saw today. With the peanut gallery out of way, Celestia rushed inside and halted the tiny wasp from doing any more damage with her magic. With the bug in her grasp, she quickly teleported it outside, far, far away from the castle.
Luna sniffled with teary eyes as she looked up to her sister. Celestia took the time to unravel the cord and free her legs. Luna, grateful for her freedom, slowly rose from the ground as the welts the wasp left behind rhythmically pound on her rump like a drum. She turned and faced her sister with the most pathetic look she could muster.
“What in the world happened to you, sister?” Celestia asked. She took another glance around the room. Between the strange machine and the crumbs of chips on the floor, she definitely wasn’t in bed like she said she would be.
“I’ll tell you what happened!” Luna shouted hysterically with tears welling up in her eyes. “I was just minding my own business until that bug came up and stung me like a hundred times! Totally unprovoked!”
Celestia was skeptical. She knew enough about wasps to know they don’t attack without reason. “Unprovoked? Really?”
“Well, I mean…” Luna put her hoof to her mouth momentarily with a frustrated grunt. “That thing was in my chips! If I ate it, I’d be a lot worse off! So, of course, I tried to kill it!”
“There we go. That’s what I was looking for. Luna, why didn’t you use a teleportation spell?”
“Well… I…” Luna gave a big sigh. “I guess I was so caught up on being furious that I didn’t think about that.” She lowered her head in shame from her previous behavior. “Throughout that whole ordeal, I could only think of ways on how I could punish it.”
Celestia looked genuinely surprised by her sister’s violent behavior. “Goodness, Luna! Did you forget what it means to be a princess?” Luna raised her head up and sadly looked Celestia in the eyes. “We need to set an example for others. You can’t lose control like that. What if you were in public when that happened?” Before Luna could say anything, Celestia turned her attention to the game machine that was making distracting music. “Also, what in the world is this? It looks… familiar.”
Luna looked flustered at the discovery of her new hobby. Looks like it was time to come clean. “It’s a Pontari Entertainment System. You know, from the expo in Manehatten?” Celestia picked up the controller curiously and gazed at the screen for a bit. With a push of a button, she inputted the command to attack the enemy. The avatar made the killing blow against the demon creature. “H-Hey!!!” Luna blurted out. “That was supposed to my kill! I worked hard to get strong enough to slay him! You can't just take my controller and finish it for me!”
Celestia turned to face Luna once more, annoyed by her outburst. “That’s a rather aggressive attitude you have.” Celestia turned off the console’s power without a second thought. Luna loudly protested, complaining that she didn’t save, before forcefully having Celestia’s hoof to her mouth. “I’ve seen and heard enough. Your obsession over this game is making you behave differently.” To Luna’s dismay, Celestia lifted the game system off the floor with her magic, ready to move it somewhere else.
“Hey! What do you think you are doing!” Luna angrily shouted. Celestia looked back at her and waved the controller to emphasize her next point.
“I’m limiting your usage of this until you are able to control yourself. I won’t have you behaving like a child over something as simple as a game.”
“Do you think that maybe I’m behaving this way because I’ve been stung more than a hundred times?! For Equestria’s sake, Celestia, I don’t know if I’ll ever sit down again!”
“It’s not just this incident. I’ve seen the way your mood has soured over the past week. You’re so caught up on your game that it’s all you think about, and anything that prevented you from playing it has made you irritable. Am I wrong?”
Luna stuttered a bit before shutting up. Perhaps she did get quickly addicted to that video game in a hurry, but she never wanted to admit it for the sake of playing it more. “Maybe? Just a tiny bit?”
Celestia turned to head for the bedroom door with the game system in tow. “I’ll send a nurse and maid to treat your stings and give you some ice packs,” she informed. “Until then, let this be a lesson to you about controlling your behavior. Oh, and go to bed. It’s getting late for you.” She closed the door behind her after having the last word.
Luna, frustrated on how she lost her favorite thing, stomped her hoof on the floor. “Darn it, Celestia.” She muttered under her breath. “Why do you have to act like you know best, even after all these years...”
Luna laid in bed while the maid placed fresh ice packs on both of her buttocks. Although the ice was cold and uncomfortable, it did help with the swelling and pounding pain down below.
“I’m sorry that you had such a bad experience, princess,” said the maid, showing sympathy. “It must have been a real nightmare for you.” Luna had her face on the pillow, mumbling something in response. “Aww, you’re probably more upset about your game, right?” she added. Luna responded with a growl and a confirming nod. “Well, don’t be. Celestia does plan to give your game back to you, right after she beats it herself.”
Luna’s head jolted from the pillow and faced the maid. “WHAT?!” she yelled.
The maid reeled back from the outburst, but managed to maintain her composure. “Y-yes, your majesty. Celestia is having a fun time with it. I heard her talking about how engaging the story is.”
Luna let out an exasperated sigh and put her head back on the pillow. “Go figure. My sister is going to beat the game before I do…” After a moment of awkward silence, Luna added something else to that thought.
“She better not have saved over my file.”