Sparkling Wine
Two weeks… it’s been two weeks…
Rainbow Dash wore a sour expression as she hovered through the markets of Ponyville. Ponies stared at her or chuckled as they passed by her. The rainbow pegasus had been the talk of the town ever since a humiliating event involving Twilight's blueberry garden and a prankster Pinkie Pie two weeks prior. The situation left Rainbow Dash… not so rainbow. Her coat was dyed a dark purplish-blue, while her mane consisted of different hues of the same color. According to Twilight, her normal colors should have returned completely at least a week ago, but remnants of her blueberry blues still showed. From the tips of her nose, mane, tail, and hooves, she still had to wait just a little longer for her usual self to return. She was sure that everypony in town knew of her plight, and they had no problem teasing her at her expense. Even the Wonderbolts had their share of jokes and nicknames to give her (which wasn’t that surprising really). Needless to say, the endless taunting everywhere she went was really starting to strike a nerve with her.
Ugh, stupid Twilight! Stupid Pinkie! They’re the reason I’m going through this!
Dash spent no time at all at each of the market stalls, buying whatever she needed without much haggling. She didn’t feel like listening to all of the berry puns the vendors had in store for her. Yes, she was looking quite blue today; no, she wasn’t doing berry well; and no, she would not like to roll on with this conversation, thank you, because she just wanted to get this dumb thing over with! Also, there was no way, no way in Celestia’s name, that Rainbow would ever go pass the blueberry salespony again. Who knows what ridiculing jeers were building up in that mare’s head? In the words of the great Ponyville fashionista herself, just making eye contact with her would end up being The. Worst. POSSIBLE. THING.
I can deal with a little prank, yeah, but this too much! Who knows when Ponyville will let me live this down? What if they never do?! Rainbow didn’t want to think about the possible consequences of her fruity experience. What if she becomes a disgrace to the Wonderbolts and they kick her out? What if her friends keep teasing her about it for the rest of her life? What if Scootaloo doesn’t think she’s the totally awesome pegasus that she is anymore?
I bet Pinkie Pie and Twilight don’t even care about what happened to me… they think I’ll just brush it off like I didn’t get humiliated in front of the whole town, like it was no big deal. Oh yeah… it’s a HUGE deal! Great, now I’m making puns too… How would they feel if they suddenly have their reputations explode into a million bits?!
Suddenly, Dash perked up; a lightbulb went off in her head. A devious grin slowly spread across her face. She rubbed her hooves together as she chuckled to herself, “Yeah… what if they did..?”
“Uh, miss? Are you okay?”
Dash quickly turned to the grape salespony that she had unknowingly been plotting in front of. “Ehehehehe… yeah. Uh, could I get a bunch of grapes?”
“That will be 5 bits.”
~~~
“I have to find out how Twilight and Pinkie managed to blow me up like that!” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself as she trotted down the street. “Was it a spell? A potion? A curse?! I gotta know! Hmm… aha! I know what to do!”
As casually as she could, Rainbow Dash walked into Sugarcube Corner, the little bell above the door jingling to signal her entrance. A poofy, pink mane popped up from being the front counter with a gasp of excitement coming from its owner. In a blink of an eye, Pinkie Pie zipped to her dear friend, constricting Rainbow in a tight bear hug. “Ohmigosh, Dashie! I’m so super-duper happy to see you! You haven’t been out much since Twilight and I turned you into a giant blueberry, but wowie! You look so much better! Just a little blue, but not like sad blue, you know? You’re actually still a bit of the color blue because you turned blue, but it’s that kinda purple-blue color since you’re already blue-”
“Pinkie!” Dash pulled herself away from the hyperactive pony and took the time to catch her breath after nearly being suffocated to death by hugs. If I hear the word “blue” one more time... “Yes… I feel better. Heh, kind of crazy what happened, huh? It must’ve been quite a set-up to do all that.”
“Oh, it wasn’t that hard! In fact…” Pinkie squinted her eyes, looking around for any potential eavesdroppers before whispering into Dash’s ear, “I can tell you exactly how we did it!”
Dash had to try super hard to hold back a huge grin. “Y-Yeah?”
“Sure! Follow me” Pinkie bounced up the stairs to her bedroom with Dash flying behind her. Once they reached there, Pinkie went over to a blank wall and tapped a rhythmic pattern on it. Immediately, the wall slid open to reveal a compartment with a metal pole to slide down. “Come on, Dashie! To the party cave!” The party pony hopped onto the pole, letting herself slide down as echoes of laughter followed, getting quieter the further down she went. Dash blinked, looking down where her friend disappeared. She shrugged, simply using her wings to descend after her.
They quickly arrived at the party cave, bits of confetti and streamers strewn about on the floor. A half-eaten cupcake rested stale on Pinkie’s party planning table; it now resembled a bizarre decoration rather than a sugary treat. Pinkie dug through a file cabinet while pushing aside the many documents that had specific information on every citizen of Ponyville. The pink pony claimed that this was to ensure she could throw the most perfect bash for somepony based on their interests, but Rainbow Dash still felt uneasy about these papers that looked like they should belong in the town hall.
“Aha! There you are!” Pinkie pulled out a scroll, setting it on the table and letting the piece of paper unroll itself. “This is the recipe for the formula I used!”
Dash examined it. “Formula..? Oh yeah! Didn’t you spray this stuff on Twilight’s blueberries?”
“Exacta-mundo! But, because I realized that I nearly caused you to explode, I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, solemnly swear to never use this concoction ever again!” With that, she crumpled up the paper and tossed it into the trash. Rainbow Dash dove after it.
“Hey, hey! Don’t throw this away! You may not think so, but I see great potential in this.”
Pinkie arched an eyebrow. When Pinkie Pie is confused by something, that is definitely a sign that something odd was going on; something very, very odd. “You do? But… I could’ve really hurt you, Dashie! I almost made you go boom! And flooded Ponyville too!”
“But that’s just it!” Dash grinned. “We don’t want to use it on good ponies, so…”
Finally, Pinkie did a gasp of comprehension. “Ooooooh! We use it on bad ponies when Equestria is in danger!’
“Exactly!” Dash grinned again. “And what would make this even better is if we could adjust the recipe to be like a bomb; once it blows up, so will the other ponies!”
Pinkie rubbed her chin in thought. “A gas bomb, huh? Very interesting…”
Rainbow Dash couldn’t have been more excited; all she needed was Pinkie’s help to create the formula, and she could finally give her and Twilight a taste of their own medicine! Admittedly, Dash did feel a pang of guilt asking her friend to pretty much plot against herself, but… she deserved it! Yeah! If it wasn’t for her, the worst Twilight could have made her do for sampling her blueberries was a strict lecture, but nooooo… Pinkie had to suggest a tactic that nearly caused her to pop like the balloons on the pink party pony’s own patootie. Just adjust the “oomph” of the potion a bit, and there you have it: perfect revenge!
“So, can you show me how to make it, Pinkie? Huh? Can you? Can you?!”
Pinkie hummed in thought. “But I thought that you never wanted anything to do with this stuff ever again, Dashie. Why do you want to know how to make it?”
Horseapples! Why hadn’t Dash thought of an excuse for why she wanted it? Pinkie may be crazy, but she’s definitely not stupid. One wrong move, and she’d be able to see through her plan like glass. “U-Uhhhh… I… T-Twilight… Twilight wants to do a study on it!”
Pinkie Pie squinted her eyes at her friend, leaning forward slightly as if to see if there were any cracks in her excuse. Dash put on her best smile she could, about to sweat bullets. Just then, Pinkie lightened up. “Okie dokie lokie! Anything to help Twilight!”
Rainbow let out a silent sigh of relief. She stood next to Pinkie’s preparation station and listened to her explanation of the formula-making process. When fruit was needed for an ingredient, Dash happily hoofed over her bunch of grapes that she had bought earlier. In just a matter of minutes, a purplish liquid dripped into a test tube, filling it up halfway. Dash looked unimpressed. “That’s all?”
“That’s all! Perfect for one use!” Pinkie corked up the tube and gave it to Dash, who examined it closely.
“Soooo… can we make it explode?”
“We can try, Michael Neigh.”
Dash rolled her eyes. “Come on, Pinks! For the sake of everypony in Equestria!”
Pinkie gave a nod of consent, pulling a candy out of a drawer. “I could make something based off of this exploding candy I made. I did make it in case I ever saw Gilda again, but then she turned nice, and I didn’t want to hurt her newly reformed feelings. The project has been cancelled!”
“Woah, it really explodes?!” Dash asked eagerly, taking it into her hooves and throwing it to the ground.
“DASHIE, NO-”
BOOM!!!
With their manes straightened back and fronts slightly charred black from the explosion, Pinkie Pie gave a disapproving look at Rainbow Dash while the latter gave a sheepish smile in return. “Hehehehe… oops.”
Pinkie blew a strand of hair out of her face. “Well... at least I know it works now…”
~~~
With the altered formula in her tight, protective grasp, Rainbow Dash flew out of Sugarcube Corner to the crystal palace. She cackled mischievously to herself, looking down at the stink bomb-like design of Pinkie’s frutification potion. Dash smirked. Payback time. Pinkie had mentioned how she lowered the potency of the formula, making the possibility of any “booming results” pretty much impossible. With ease of mind, Dash landed softly on Twilight’s balcony. One of the benefits of being best friends with a princess was that you could literally drop in whenever you wanted, and Dash greatly appreciated that. Hovering slightly above the floor, she sneaked around the castle, stealthily trying to find the purple alicorn.
Purple… grapes… heh, what a coincidence. Dash held back a chuckle, finally spotting her friend in, what else, her library. Twilight’s eyes were glued to the pages, her horn lighting up occasionally to flip a page. Dash couldn’t believe her luck; not only was Twilight totally not focused on what was going on around her, but she was in the biggest room in the castle, giving her plenty of room to fill out. The pegasus zoomed to the second level of the room, looking for the perfect spot to drop her grape bomb. Finally, she found an area right next to Twilight that would also give herself enough time to fly out of the room without being affected by the gas.
Alright… it’s showtime…
With a swift flick of her hoof, Dash threw the pressure-sensitive device right next to Twilight’s chair, leaving a rainbow blur behind her as she flew out of the room as fast as she wings would let her. She shut the giant crystal doors behind her with a thud, rousing Twilight out of her deep concentration. The princess immediately noticed the quiet hissing that filled the air along with a strange purple gas.
“Sweet Celestia! What in Equestria is that?!” Twilight shot out of her seat, but the rising gas soon caught up to her nose. She didn’t think of holding her breath, allowing the scent of fresh grapes to fill her senses. “Mmmm… is this some kind of weird air freshener? Spike, did you set this up?” She listened for a response, but there was no sign of her dragon assistant anywhere. However, there was another noise… a strange bubbling noise.
Twilight didn’t notice her body slowly shifting into a darker purple than her current coat, the color resembling a shade close to her own mane. It wasn’t until her hooves changed their color did Twilight notice that something was definitely wrong. She let out a yelp of shock as she lifted one of her front hooves to her face and watched in frightened fascination as the tips morphed into the new purple hue. The gurgling sound grew louder, and Twilight was able to pinpoint the source, due to the fact that this noise was accompanied with a strange sensation in her belly. It let out a loud groan as it steadily began to bulge downward toward the floor. The alicorn stood speechless at the turn of events as her stomach began to touch the cold crystal floor, sending a shiver down her spine. Her “fight or flight” mode activated after a moment of delay, causing Twilight to let out a panicked yelp. Her breath quickened along with her swelling, the mysterious inflation now spreading to other various parts. Twilight felt her flanks plump out, making her bottom look like two fat water balloons rather than the rather flat rear she was used to. Her face flushed an even darker purple, feeling embarrassment course through her despite being alone.
At least, that’s what she thought.
Rainbow Dash watched through one of the many library windows, mustering up every ounce of strength to not start laughing her wings off. Despite being in the same predicament a couple of weeks ago, seeing it happen to somepony else was quite entertaining. She continued to peer through the glass at Twilight’s predicament; her distended middle was now large enough to push its owner off the ground and leave her hooves dangling in the air. Twilight grunted and groaned, trying to plant her hooves back on the floor, but it was no use; in fact, during her struggles, Twilight’s body continued to round out, despite her protests, raising her higher up into the air. It was an odd sensation for the princess to feel as though she was floating in midair while still being firmly planted on the ground. The more she tried to fight the swelling, the more her body sloshed and gurgled and bubbled and burbled.
“What’s happening to me?! I feel like a giant water balloon!” Twilight exclaimed to herself as her billowing chest began to fill her lower field of vision. That’s when the all-familiar sensation of deja vu rushed through her mind, and her eyes widened when she realized why.
RAINBOW DAAAAAAASH!!!
As if on cue, Dash casually flew into the library, looking rather proud of herself as she wore the usual smirk she had whenever her ego got an extra boost. She leveled herself up to the ten-foot grape’s field of vision and looked Twilight straight in her angry eyes. “You rang?”
“Wha- Were you watching me this whole time?!” Twilight asked in a tone that was a mixture of fury and anxiety.
“Heh, of course! Why would I miss out on the chance to see one of my pranks in action? By the way, you make excellent quality entertainment.”
Twilight let out a grunt of frustration. “This isn’t funny, Rainbow! Change me back!”
“Oh, don’t worry! I will… when I feel like it.” With that, she gave a lazy yawn and reclined on Twilight’s bloated back.
The grape pony let out a groan of discomfort and wriggled her hooves, causing her body to wobble slightly. “Rainbow Dash, I swear, if you don’t get off of me this instant..!”
“Ooooo, I’m so scared!” Dash laughed as she sank a bit into Twilight’s juicy body. “What are you gonna do about it, huh? Can’t really move on your own, can you?” However, just as she finished saying that, Twilight lit her horn and levitated Dash until she was face-to-face with her. Twilight gave Dash a glare that could possibly challenge Fluttershy’s stare. Dash’s face started dripping nervously as she gave an uncomfortable look. “Oh… hehe… magic. Riiiight…”
“Change. Me. Back. NOW. ”
“Okay, okay! Cool your horn, egghead!” Dash backed away as soon as Twilight released her. Rainbow turned around, going to reach for the cure.
Wait a minute…
Dash slowly turned back around to face Twilight again. While she had a grin on her face, the twitches Dash’s eye gave told Twilight something wasn’t right. “Rainbow Dash… you do have a cure, right?”
“Hehehe… heh…”
Twilight stayed silent, staring at her friend for a few long, agonizing seconds before her face furrowed, turning a bright cherry red. “Rainbow Dash… if you don’t get me a cure soon… I swear to Celestia… I WILL END YOU!!!”
Dash rushed out of the library as fast as she could. However, just before she left the castle, she poked her head through the library entryway. “W-Well, joke’s on you! You deserve this, you know! This is what I call karma! Ha! Hahahahahaaa! ” Her cringy laughter echoed through the halls as she flew away.
Spike walked into the room, his head turned toward the source of the noise. “Yeesh, what’s up with Da-” As soon as he faced forward, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Uhhhh… did I miss something?”
“Not a word about this, Spike…” Twilight sighed. “Not. A. Word.”