Equestria's Got Talent...
Howard Stern opened his eyes to gaze upon a truly odd sight. A colorful, cartoony, landscape bustling with a bunch of multicolored horses.
"What the fuck?" Those were the only words the radio host was able to muster up before he noticed a purple mare looking at a book a few feet away from him.
The mare heard Howard speak and looked at him, grinning. "Perfect. The spell was a success."
Howard still had no idea what in God's mother's name was going on, so again he just uttered, "What the fuck?"
"Oh dear, you must be quite confused," Twilight assumed as she trotted closer the the disgruntled human. "My name is Twilight Sparkle and I have teleported you into the land of Equestria. If I read the atlas correctly, you are from an alternate form of Earth, right?" Twilight had extended a friendly hoof and smiled with intrigue, awaiting a response from Howard. The response was... odd.
Howard Stern burst out into a fit out laughter as he walked around and began to yell at an imaginary figure. "Haha, great prank everybody! You got some real great costumes or whatever the fuck you did, but you can come out now!" Howard continued to yell as Twilight watched with confusion. "Robin! Seriously, Robin, cut this shit out."
"Robin. Is that your friend?" Twilight asked, trying to help the man calm down.
"You can quit can quit acting now; it's not funny anymore."
"I'm actually a student of Princess Celestia, and I would really like to take you back to my library to see if we can get you home." Twilight placed a hoof on Stern's shoulder warmly.
"Don't fucking touch me!" Howard scolded as he jumped away from Twilight in fear.
"Sir, I'm only trying to help you. There's no need to get angry, friend."
With a fierce and unpleasant tone, the man shouted, "I'm not your fucking friend, and get the fuck away from me!"
Hearing Howard say that he was not her friend made something snap in Twilight's brain. In a swift, magical motion, Howard Stern was stripped ass naked, tied up by his hands and feet, gagged, and floated secretly back to the Ponyville Library.
It had been almost an hour, and Howard had just been left bound and gagged in the center of the library. Twilight had closed all the blinds and locked the front doors. Howard could here faint talking coming from another room nearby.
"Are you sure, Twilight?" a prepubescent male voice said from inside the room.
"Yes, Spike. This potion will make Rarity fall in love with you." Stern recognized this voice as the voice of the unicorn he had seen before.
"But why would you---"
"Fine, Spike. I'll just take the love potion away!"
"No don't!" The unknown male voice called out desperately. After that, a few gulping sounds were heard.
"Now Rarity is in the other room waiting, so go test the potion."
"Rarity is in the..."
Immediately, the door slammed open and the tied up human saw what looked to be Barney the Dinosaur and Wee Man's lovechild.
"Rarity!" Spike cheered as he looked at Howard.
Howard began to groan, trying to speak through the gag, but all the dragon heard was, "Oh, Spike! Don't you just look dashing today!"
"Oh Rarity! You look gorgeous too!" Spike said as he grabbed Howard's face and kissed him on the lips.
The America's Got Talent judge began to squirm and moan louder as Twilight's magical gag was able to keep Howard Quiet, but still allow Spike's tongue to roam through his mouth freely. The potion Twilight had got Spike to drink made it so that the next living creature he saw would be the pony of his dreams. It was a good thing for her that the closet Spike and Twilight were in was dark; however, not so good for Howard.
Spikes long, snake-like tongue slithered down the human's mouth as he nearly puked. Twilight's gag forced him to swallow it.
Twilight came out of the closet and watched Spike with great pleasure. "Spike, I'll be upstairs for the next hour, so you and Rarity have fun." Twilight gave an evil chuckle as she trotted upstairs with a big grin and extremely small pupils.
Spike continued to kiss Rarity and Howard continued to swallow his own vomit. It wouldn't have gone any farther had Twilight not schemed up another idea.
Twilight used a spell to completely muted Howard's groaned and then conjured up a voice modifier and amplified it into the other room where Spike was.
Spike pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath. "How... was that... baby?" Spike asked, trying not to look winded.
In Rarity's voice, Twilight said, "Amazing, Spike, but I want you inside me!"
Without hesitation, Spike replied, "Alright, Rarity!" Spike had fantasized about this enough to know that he needs to hurry to the sex before he wakes to Twilight's nagging.
Howard was attempting to crawl away, but Twilight was peering out through her bedroom door and tightened the man's restraints, forcing him into doggy style.
The young dragon was now on the other side of Howard and staring into the eye of the storm, or the brown eye of the Stern. (What, no laughs? Fuck off...)
To Twilight's good fortune, her little assistant had always dreamed about banging the white unicorn in her tight plot hole without any lubrication.
"Hurry, Spike! Fuck me hard!" Rarity's voice pleaded.
Spike rushed to grab a stool to stand on and set in behind Stern's behind. The baby dragon hooped up on the stool and spread Stern's butt cheeks. The dragon carefully directed his spiny, thick erection to the entrance of the human's ass.
"This is all for you Rarity!" Spike yelled as he lunged his spiky cock all the way into Howard. Spike sighed as he still had not woken up, and was for sure this was real. He pulled out a bit and trust back in, picking up a rough pace.
Tears left Howard's eyes as his rectum bled from the pointed dick that was shoving its way in and out of his bowels. His cries would go unheard.
Twilight cackled as Spike unknowingly raped the rude, evil human. She could tell her assistant was close to climaxing by how much he moaned and how much he had picked up the pace. He was humping so hard that blood and fecal matter had been flung all over the library.
Spike closed his eyes as he was near finishing, but all of the sudden heard from Rarity, "Spike! I am yours! You can have me!"
Once Spike heard this, his dragon anatomy kicked in. Rarity was the one thing in the world that Spike had always wanted, so hearing that she was his caused the baby dragon to grow one-hundred times his normal size. As Spike's entire body grew, so did his prickly shafted that was sheltered deep within Howard Stern.
Howard Stern exploded, his guts, body tissue, and bones being flung all across Ponyville, for Spike had also caused the Library to collapse. Twilight used a barrier to shield herself from the falling building, and guffawed at the sight of her demolished enemy.
A large crowd gathered around the fallen library and giant dragon, who was rock hard. No pony had known of anything that had happened. Confusion lingered for a moment until Pinkie Pie jumped out from the crowd, point at Spike, and announced, "That's what I call one good ass-istant!"
THE END!