Perverted Vampire ponies arrive in Ponyville. It's up to Twilight and the others to kick them out.
A group of obnoxious and perverted Vampire ponies have invaded Ponyville, hell bent on reviving the Equestrian version of Count Dracula and bothering girls. The dogged Twilight leads an expedition to give these villians a one way ticket to boot-hill.
A pale colt strutted through the town of Ponyville. He had about him an air of absolutes smugness. He tilted his head back, taking a pompous pride in his pompadour. All around, fillies gazed at him, with wide eyes and open mouths, simply awestruck by the way his furry coat seemed to magically sparkle in the warm sunlight.
At least he liked to think they were looks of awe.
It would've shattered his fragile ego if he found out that the ponies staring at him were really asking themselves why that idiot covered himself with sequins.
In the local library, Twilight Sparkle was amusing herself with a Jeeves and Wooster novel to while away the last hour of work, before the library's closing time.
The door opened and the sparkly colt trotted in.
"Hello my dear." He said, in a smooth voice, tilting his head back, so that he could smile down his nose, at the lovely purple filly, "Is this the local library?"
Twilight resisted the urge to tell him that the shelves full of books before his very eyes and the sign outside that read "Library" should have been a dead giveaway. Although it was a very hard urge to resist.
"Yes. I take it you're new in town."
"Yes, my colleges and I have just moved in. I am interested in acquiring a library card. Am I correct in assuming that you are the librarian?"
"Indeed I am," she said as she trotted behind the counter to get the blank library cards "I'm Twilight Sparkle."
"Ah! We have the same first name! Surly it must be a sign!"
Now, she did agree with him on that point. Except while he was implying that it was a sign of the two of them lip-wrestling in the near future, she saw it as a sign of cheesy pick-up lines.
"Can I have your name and address, please?" she said, getting out a pen to fill out the library card information. The sooner she got this business dealt with, the sooner that glimmering fop would leave her alone.
"Of course. My friends and I are residing in the old Princess' Castle. And my name is Twilight Eclipse."
Twilight (Sparkle) looked up, with a raised eyebrow.
"The old Princess castle? The one in the Everfree forest?"
"That's the one. Would you like me to give you a tour?" his eyes looked hopeful.
"No. I just found it strange. What exactly are you doing in that castle?"
"You could say that we work in renovation. We're getting things ready for something truly spectacular."
Twilight (Sparkle) handed Twilight (Eclipse) his new library card.
"I'm sure. Now, is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Oh, I think that'll be all for now, my lavender beauty." He said with a wink.
To smile after hearing such a lame and pretentious line, (as is required in customer service) took every ounce of Twilight (Sparkle)'s acting abilities. In fact if she was voiced by an actress who didn't have Tara Strong's talent she'd be in a spot of bother.
The sparkly one (finally) left.
The purple unicorn returned to her book, safe in the knowledge that she'd soon get over being hit on by such a creep by reading about Bertie Wooster saying a few rounds of "What Ho!"
Unfortunately, her peace and quiet was once again shattered. In fact it was more than just shattered. It was shattered, had the pieces re-gathered and smashed into a fine powder at the sudden entrance Pinkie Pie, an electric pink earth pony with hair that looked like a maroon piece of popcorn.
"Twilight, Twilight, Twilight! Did you seem him? Huh, huh, huh?"
"If you mean the creepy guy, covered in sequins, then yes."
Twilight put her book away. No chance of any peaceful reading once Pinkie was on the scene.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! New neighbours! I've got to throw a welcome party! Can we host it…?"
"Absolutely not!" Twilight snapped "You're not hosting it here!"
"Awww…"
"You can make those Bambi eyes all you want Pinkie; you're not hosting the welcome party here!"
When Twilight had first moved to Ponyville, Pinkie had thrown a surprise welcome party for her. Now, at the time of her arrival, Twilight was dealing with something of a crisis and the last thing she needed when she got home was the sight of streamers and party poppers all over her floor when she had work to do. She probably wouldn't have minded if Pinkie had asked permission. Though, that would sort of the defeat the object of a surprise party, as Pinkie would be the first to point out.
But at least Pinkie actually did ask this time.
"But where can I host it?"
"Isn't your own house big enough?"
Pinkie gasped. A big gasp.
"Twilight, you're a genius!" And she dashed out of the library with the energy of someone who's just had a good idea and a very strong cup of coffee.
Closing time came at last to the Ponyville library. Twilight locked the door and put up the "closed" sign before engaging in a little tidying up. There, as always, assisting her with the library housekeeping, was Spike the Magic Dragon; Twilight's number one assistant, study-buddy, coffee-fetcher agony aunt and general dogsbody.
"Hey, Twilight, who was that guy you were talking to earlier? I've never seen him around town before."
Why, Twilight asked herself, did the conversation have to go back to that annoying newbie? You see readers; it's annoying her just as much as it's annoying you.
"Just someone who's working at that old castle in the Everfree forest."
"Oh. Like a builder?"
Twilight (Sparkle) wouldn't have thought so. Whereas Twilight (Eclipse) hit on her with very stupid pick-lines and cheesy pseudo-poetry, a builder probably would have just wolf-whistled, slapped her on the rump and said "Hey babe! What time do you get off work?"
They finished tidying up and sat down with a nice cup of tea. No better way to unwind when the day's work is over. Well there were of course video games but ponies couldn't really handle a control pad due to their lack of fingers.
"So," Spike went on, "I heard Pinkie's throwing a welcome party for the new guys."
"Ugh. I can see it now. That Sparkly unicorn hitting on every filly in the room, Pinkie bouncing all over the place and knocking everybody about on the dance floor. And don't get me started on the chaos that'll take off when Apple Jack brings out her home brew cider!"
They sipped their tea.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world though, would you?"
"Nope. AJ's cider is irresistible!"
That evening, when the sun was setting and Luna was getting ready for work, ponies herded into Sugarcube corner. Disco lights danced all over the room and the loudspeakers filled the air with a catchy 80's dance beat.
Twilight and Spike made their way over to the bar. Luckily they were able to get stools next to a friend of theirs; the rambunctious Rainbow Dash, who was speeding through a measure of vodka.
"Agh yeah!" she said coming up for air, after finishing the drink in one gulp.
"Another one, Rainbow?" the bar man offered.
"You got it! But this time, make it a double!"
The bar pony went about getting Rainbow's drink.
"You know, Vodka isn't the kind of drink you just guzzle down, Rainbow. It's meant to be savoured slowly. Or at least mixed with a soft drink."
"I know, Twilight, but you know me! Extreme! Bending rules and pushing limits!"
Twilight looked over the counter into the refrigerator.
"Hey! Why don't you try mixing some of that energy drink into it?"
Rainbow Dash looked over.
"Red Buffalo? Nah!"
"Why not? I thought that kind of drink would be right up your street."
"Because Red Buffalo is supposed to give you wings! I'm a Pegasus! I already have a pair!"
"Dash, it's just a slogan. It's not like that spell I used on Rarity."
"And even if it was," Spike joined in "If you can just about break the sound barrier with two wings, can you imagine how fast you'd fly with four?"
Rainbow's fuchsia eyes were wide saucers looking into a future where she could completely screw over the rules of nature and fly faster than light.
"Oh my gosh, that would be so…awesome! Hey pal! Make it a double vodka with Red Buffalo!"
The bar pony finished serving Rainbow and turned his attention to Twilight.
"Ah there you are! I was hoping you'd show up! Did you know there's actually a drink called Twilight?"
"Cool!" said Spike "You know you've made the big time when they name a beer after you!"
The unicorn felt a flush coming on.
"Actually it's just a coincidence." Said the bar pony "You take half a glass of real ale and top it up with lager. Mixing the two different beers makes a drink called Twilight. Because it's a combination of a dark beer and a light beer. So, would you like a glass?"
"No thanks." said Twilight (the unicorn, not the drink. Then again, that would be pretty obvious, as it's impossible for a glass of alcoholic fluid to talk. Unless you've already had several glasses of the stuff, in which case you should probably call it a night before the bar staff kick you out).
"Apple Jack's treating me to some of her cider later, and I've heard that if you drink both beer and cider, then you get something really sickly called Snake Bite."
"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash joined in "And Twilight has a lifelong fear of snakes! This one time in Appaloosa…!"
Twilight, her face burning red, buried it in her hooves and gave a high pitched moan.
"In Appaloosa, we saw a rattle snake in the road! She begged me to get rid of it…so I threw it in her face!" the Pegasus yelled before bursting into hysterical laughter.
Of course, it was an exaggeration. Rainbow did throw a snake in Twilight's face, but it was actually a harmless, non-venomous grass snake she'd brought along from Ponyville.
Come on now, did you really think Rainbow would pick up a deadly poisonous rattle snake and throw it in some pony's face? If she did, the snake would have bitten her before she could scare the living daylights out of bookish fillies.
"So, you're on the cider tonight?" the bar pony asked, after Rainbow felt the buzz of the Red Buffalo and was showing off on the dance floor.
"Yes please." Said Twilight, still a bit red.
"Here you go. And for you, Spike?"
"Can I try a glass of that drink called Twi…"
"Just a soda for him." Twilight interrupted handing over the correct money.
"Aw, come on!"
"No booze for you, young man! You're the designated driver!"
"We walked here."
"You still need to make sure we both get home alright."
"We live right next door."
"Spike, you can't drink and that's final!"
At this point, Spike gave up. It didn't matter what kind of argument he threw at her, Twilight was just going to keep moving the goal posts.
The two left the bar to mingle with the other guests.
"You know it's funny." Said Spike. "I don't see Eclipse or those other two guys anywhere."
"That's a good point." Said Twilight "The sun's just gone down and they're still nowhere to be found."
In China, they have a saying- Speak of Cao Cao and he appears. You can see the similarity to our own "Speak of the Devil". The reason I bring up this rather useless piece of trivia is because either variation would have been appropriate at that exact moment, for Twilight Eclipse, his pompadour smelling to high heaven of hairspray, trotted into the building. But at least he wasn't sparkling anymore. It seemed he'd got the hint about the sequins. He was followed by two similarly pale, but larger and significantly less smug looking ponies. One, the biggest of the three was a huge, powerful looking Pegasus with a dark brown mane and eyes that seemed to be stuck in "frown" mode. The other was an earth pony with just about the most obviously bleached mane anyone had ether seen, which was styled back by what must have been an unimaginable amount of hair gel.
Twilight Sparkle watched as Pinkie bounced over to the three. Twilight Eclipse put on his smug face and, judging by the way Pinkie was laughing more hysterically than usual, tried a few pick up lines. The blonde earth pony that came with him just rolled his eyes.
Once Pinkie bounced away, the smug male unicorn spotted our dogged heroine.
Oh crap, he's seen me! She though to herself as he smugly trotted towards her.
"Well, well, well! We meet again, Miss Sparkle!"
"Hello Eclipse."
"Might I say, you look simply stunning tonight?"
You just did, jackass.
Spike stepped out from behind Twilight (Sparkle). Twilight (Eclipse) yelled and hopped back.
"Agh! A Dragon!"
"Aw, you say that like it's a bad thing!" Spike laughed.
Seeing a safe heaven from being hit on by creepy newcomers, Twilight wrapped a foreleg around the dragon.
"Oh, you haven't been introduced! Eclipse, this is Spike!"
"Ah ha!" said the male unicorn, looking uncomfortably at the dragon "This is uncanny! We two Twilights now have two Spikes! Like a bull!"
Bulls don't have spikes, they have horns, you moron.
"As it happens, one of my associates is also called Spike!"
"Small world, huh?"
"So…um…is he your...um…"
Twilight's other foreleg wrapped around the increasing uncomfortable dragon.
"Oh, you know, friend, workmate, bodyguard, housemate, opposite gender life partner! The usual things!"
She gave Spike a huge kiss on the cheek. The look on Spike's face indicated that his brain had just exploded.
"I, um, see…" said Twilight (Eclipse) "Anyway, I'd better go and mingle. I'll, um…see you later!"
"Bye, bye!" Twilight (Sparkle) called, waving with one hoof, and cuddling the completely baffled Spike with the other. When the foppish unicorn was out of sight, she sighed with relief.
"What the heck was all that about?" Spike snapped, once he recovered from the shock.
"I'm sorry, Spike." She said, with utmost sincerity, "It's just that something about Eclipse just creeps me out. As long as you're around, he probably won't come anywhere near me."
The dragon just rolled his eyes.
"You know, Twi, you're not exactly the best judge of character. Remember when Pinkie told you what a colossal jerk Gilda was, and you automatically assumed that Pinkie was the one behaving badly?"
"In my defence, all I knew about the situation was Pinkie's strangely sugar-coated portrayal of events. All she told me was that Gilda was a meanie who popped her balloons. If she mentioned that the balloons in question happened to be holding her fifty feet in the air, when Gilda popped them, I might have been a bit more sympathetic."
"What about when we first moved her? You thought all the ponies here were crazy. Then those very same crazy ponies saved your tail several times and you ended up as superheroes for the night."
Twilight sighed and looked at her hoofs.
"I know. I've learned my lesson. But it isn't just that he gets on my nerves. There's something else about him. A sort of…well, a darkness."
"I think you've just been reading too many horror novels. Anyway, we're at a party! A Pinkie Pie party for that matter! Let's have some fun!"
Twilight's smile returned.
"You're right. We're here to enjoy ourselves. Come on! Let's dance!"
"Together? But what if Rarity sees us?"
"She'll see how good you are and might ask you for the next dance."
Spike's, red, grinning face was a telltale sign that this thought was very pleasing to him.
The party went on. Spike had just gone to the bathroom, so Twilight went to talk with Pinkie for a while. Luckily, the three newcomers were all sitting around a table, in conversation. What Twilight found strange was that they hardly touched any of the party food. Though, all three seemed to be eying the girls up. The huge Pegasus seemed to keep his eye trailing Fluttershy as she joined Rainbow Dash at the bar. It was sort of understandable. Fluttershy was after all, a very good looking Pegasus, at least by Equestrian standards. Pinkie was giving a monologue about how corn flakes look like badgers when all of a sudden, a very pale and uninteresting looking earth pony with a wide forehead pushed in between them.
"You two. You seem to know everyone here. Who are those three?" she pointed a hoof at the three pale newcomers.
"Not to be rude or anything, Sulky, but we were in the middle of…"
"Oh Twilight! Don't be such a grump!" said Pinkie ruffling her purple mane, playfully. Then she put a foreleg around the pale pony, whose name was Sulky Swan.
"Why are you touching me?"
"Oops! Sorry!" Pinkie removed her foreleg.
There was a pause.
"I didn't say take it off."
"Okie Dokie!"
Typical of Sulky, she was on an endless crusade for stuff to be bitchy about, in this case, loving the attention while pretending to hate it. She was unique among ponies in that her special talent was brooding, rather than something cool, like Fluttershy's empathy with animals, or finding jewels like Rarity.
Brooding, moping and sulking were her forte and that was why she had a frowny face for her cutie mark, or 'rump markings', as we call them in England.
Pinkie pointed to the table. Her hoof first indicated the Pegasus.
"The big guy is Fallen Angel. The blonde is Punch Spike."
Her hoof moved over again, to the foppish unicorn.
"And that, is Twilight Eclipse."
"Weird names." Said Sulky "The names grandparents have."
"Nah!" said Pinkie "They sound more like the names internet users give themselves!"
"Inter-what?"
Twilight (Sparkle) just laughed and went to find Spike, since Pinkie was just being Pinkie.
Internet indeed! Like that'll ever catch on in Equestria!
The evening passed and at long last, it was time to end the night. Twilight Eclipse, Fallen Angel and Punch Spike thanked Pinkie for the party and left just before the bar had closed. The bar pony had offered them one last drink but they declined. Punch Spike said something about getting a nightcap on the way home. Slowly but surely, ponies left the premises until only seven ponies and the dragon were left.
Apple Jack was helping the seventh pony, a portly and incredibly drunken horse (who somehow managed to hijack her precious cowboy hat) to the door. It was the least she could do. He bought so much of her home brew cider that Apple Jack had made enough money to buy a new plough, from this one customer.
His foreleg was wrapped around her broad shoulders as she led him to the door.
"You…are one fiiine lookin' filly, AJ…*burp*…If I wasn't…*hic* married and was ten…*hic* years younger, I'd…um…court you like that!"
Apple Jack just laughed. He was one of her family orchard's best customers, (his favourite product being quite obvious at the moment).
"That you kindly Beer Belly! Ah just hope the misses knows how lucky she is!"
"Oh! What have I…*burp* done!" he wailed bringing a hoof over his eyes "I've…*hic* been unfaithful to my wife! Please don't *hic* tell her!"
Apple Jack could hardly keep a straight face. It took all of her friend's willpower to stop themselves laughing too.
"Ah'll keep your secret, honey. As long as you give me my hat back."
Beer Belly picked up the hat, looked at it longingly and gave it a good-bye kiss.
"Farewell dear friend! You're lucky to be able to sit on the mane of a girl like her."
He placed in on the orange filly's head and left. Apple Jack waved goodbye then rejoined her friends.
"Well, now that that's out o'the way, what next?"
Spike was snoring into the table. A giggling Twilight picked him up and arched him over her back.
"I've got to go put my bodyguard here to bed. But after that, how about we all watch a movie?"
"Aw yeah!" said Rainbow Dash "Let's do an all-nighter!"
Rarity, the white unicorn gave an elegant yawn. "I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I'm simply exhausted."
"Id', um, rather just go bed too. Well, if that's okay with everybody." said Fluttershy in a quiet voice.
"Boy, you guys are real lightweights!" said Rainbow "I'm not even tired!"
"I'm not surprised with all the vodka red buffalos you've had tonight."
"Hey, you're the one who introduced me to it, Twilight. So it's really more your fault than it is mine!"
It was then decided that they'd do a double sleepover. Rarity and Fluttershy would stay with Pinkie at Sugarcube corner, while Rainbow and Apple Jack watched movies at the library with Twilight.
"Help!" a loud scream tore through the air. The six horses turned and Spike shot awake. More screaming sent shocks along the girl's bodies.
"That's Beer Belly!"
Apple Jack raced out of the door and Twilight followed hot foot.
"You guys wait here!" Rainbow said to the others before, zipping out to face the danger. The three stopped.
Their eyes bulged out of their sockets and their blood turned to ice at what they saw.
Beer Belly lay on his side, white as bleached paper. His wide eyes were twisted in utter agony.
Twilight knelt down beside side, her ear to his chest. Apple Jack looked on, eyes wide, and desperate for a good sign.
Twilight shook her head.
"He's gone. I'm sorry Apple Jack."
The earth pony removed her cowboy hat and held it to her heart as she held back the tears. They were tears of genuine sadness for the loss of the once happy drunk. It was more than just losing the sale of two gallons of cider a week.
Rainbow went to fetch the police. At last, they returned. They made their inquiries, asking if anyone might have had it in for him. Problem is the list was a lot longer than any of them thought. The cops examined the area and had the body taken away.
As the stretcher was lifted, Twilight saw something. Then she blinked to make sure that her eyes weren't playing tricks.
There in the side of Beer Belly's neck were two red holes.
"It can't be." She said to herself.
But you, my dear reader know for a fact that it was indeed. You've likely read this story's synopsis and even if you're reading on a website where there is no story synopsis, you've obviously got the Castlevania reference. So it was indeed, what Twilight feared.
"Vamponies."
"What's that, Twilight?"
"Vamponies! Undead horses who drink blood!"
"Blood?" cried Pinkie in a state of utter disbelief.
Then she calmed down.
"I've never heard of a cocktail by that name? What's in it?"
Everyone around her stared. Speechless. There was random, and then there was Pinkie Pie random. That statement was extra super-duper Pinkie Pie random; a randomness beyond the imagination of most horses.
"It's not a cocktail, Pinkie! Actual blood! The very fluid that runs through our veins and we can't live without it!"
"Well, we've established that we have an emergency on our hoofs." Said Rarity, "What I would like to know, is what we can do about it? We can't possibly sleep with a vampony on the loose!"
Twilight took a deep breath. Being asked for help actually put her in her organiser frame of mind, which helped to put things in perspective.
"Okay, first of all- don't panic. It's about three thirty in the morning and the sun rises at seven. If we can last for the next three and a half hours, we should be alright."
"Ah ha!" said Apple Jack "Vamponies burn up in the sunshine!"
"Maybe, maybe not. The different books I've read give different ideas on what happens when vamponies come into contact with direct sunlight. True, some of them do say that vamponies burn up, while others say that they can move about in the daylight, but their powers are severely weakened. But all the same, they all agree that sunshine is bad news for the undead."
"Ooh! Maybe we'll see them shrivel up like raisins! Now that I think about it, I could go for some raisins about now!"
"Pinkie," said Rainbow putting a hoof on her shoulder "I know we've all got something to bring to this discussion, but from now on, I think the thing you should bring, is silence."
"Okay dokie!" said Pinkie, zipping her lips shut; with that sweet oblivious smile she has when he's being insulted.
"That's all very well," said Rarity "but there's still the matter of our sleeping arrangements. How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep, when all the time I'll have to sleep with one eye open in case that bloodsucker comes back?"
There was a silence as the group had a think.
"I've got it! We'll surround ourselves with garlic! Pinkie, do you have any garlic in the kitchen?"
Pinkie said nothing. She just stared at Twilight.
"Pinkie?"
Her face was getting disturbing.
"Are you okay…?" Twilight asked with a twitch of fear. The others backed away nervously.
The only one who didn't inch away was Rainbow Dash who just rolled her eyes.
"You've brought enough silence to the conversation Pinkie. You can talk now."
Pinkie unzipped her lips and smiled again.
"Great! Keeping quiet is harder than it looks!"
"Garlic." said Twilight, losing patience, "Do you have any?"
"Sure do! There's a lot left over from the last time Spike tried to bake cupcakes!"
All eyes turned to Spike. His eyes scanned their baffled faces.
"Garlic? In cupcakes?"
The dragon folded his arms.
"Filly steins. You just don't appreciate my culinary genius."
With the promise (well the threat really) that they would discuss Spike's unorthodox eating habits at a later date; the horses went to get the garlic and, with string, tied a piece around each of their necks.
"Does this really keep vamponies away, Twi?" Apple Jack asked.
"It should do. One of the elements all the sources agree on is that vamponies are weak against garlic."
"How does it work?"
Twilight stood still and gave it some thought. She didn't know why it happened, it apparently just did. There was probably a book somewhere that explained it, but for now, just knowing what it does was enough. It was sort of like when you're a child. You don't know how the sun rises, but you just run around on the beech and enjoy the sunshine (unless you live in a very rainy part of the world, like Seattle).
"Oh that's easy!" Pinkie piped up, "You see garlic helps the blood to circulate so it can flow around the body a lot easier. So when vamponies catch a whiff of the stuff, it causes their stomachs to churn and they get really sick!"
Now all eyes were on the Pink one, who stood looking a tiny little bit smug. Twilight's jaw was hanging so low it touched the floor. Pinkie opened one mischievous eye.
"Hey, you have your star charts, Rarity has her fashion sense and Fluttershy knows animals, but when the subject is food, you're on my turf, baby!"
Needless to say, the others were impressed with Pinkie's flash of genuine insight. It was pretty amazing coming from a girl who thought a necromancer was just someone who was dating a giraffe.
At last, the group had all got their stings and garlic wrapped around their necks. With one acceptation of course.
"Rarity, what the heck are you doing?"
"Don't distract me, Apple Jack! I'm trying to carve this garlic clove into a star shape!"
"What?"
"If I simply must wear this smelly thing all night, then it might as well bee a necklace with a pleasing shape!"
Although they only slept for a few hours, they were in a state of mind when time seems to slow down and every minute that you lay awake feels like an hour. That awkward state, when you can't seem to drop off and you lay there, just waiting for your brain to cool down and for the actual sleep to arrive. But sleeping wasn't that easy for our heroes at the moment. A murder had just taken place right outside their door and there were sinister bloodsucking creatures of the night running amok, probably claiming another victim.
Though for Rainbow Dash, it was just a side affect of all the Red Buffo she's been drinking.
At last dawn was breaking. Birdsong heralded a new day and the rising of Celestia's golden orb.
The six horses rose to their hoofs.
"Well, we made it through the night." Said Apple Jack "What do we do now."
Twilight rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and gave her answer.
"At the moment, we go about our lives as normal. I'm going to write to the Princess and see if she knows what to do. I'll research everything I can about Vamponies. Hopefully, we can find a way to stop them. Let's all meet at mine after work."
They opened the door to leave. Then they stood wide eyed at the white rolling fog that enveloped the streets.
"Okay, this is just weird." Said Rainbow "We don't have any fog scheduled until the end of fall."
"Wait." Said Fluttershy, "If there's no sunlight coming through, the vamponies could still be out there. Oh my…" she ended her sentence with a frightened whine.
Rainbow looked up towards the sky.
"I've got to clear this fog up. Anybody got a light?"
"Allow me." Said Rarity, closing her eyes. She focused the energy in her body towards her horn. There was a small explosion of magic as Rarity's horn's produced a cascade of bright runway lights.
Unfortunately, these weren't Airport runway, but catwalk runway lights.
It would have to do.
They decided to part ways in groups. Rainbow Dash and Rarity led the others to their respective places of work, while Twilight and Spike went straight to the library.
There was still time before the library was due to open for its day's business, so Twilight quickly got all the books she could find relating to the subject of vampirism and put them into her study. She then rummaged through her stationary drawer and thrust an inked quill and parchment into Spike's hands.
"Now, take this down."
"Dear Princess Celestia,
In the early hours of this morning, a murder was committed outside Sugercube Corner. From what I can understand, the victim died due to a loss of blood. As the victim's body was being taken away, I saw, what I believe to be two teeth marks on his neck. It is to my belief that Vamponie's could be at work. I write to ask for your advice on what can be done.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle"
"Got it."
"Okay, send it now."
Spike breathed out a small jet of green fire and the parchment vanished in a sparkle of light.
"Now we wait."
"You know, Twilight, I've been thinking," I'll spare you the obvious cliché' jokes about breaking the habit of a lifetime. Spike wasn't exactly Steven Hawking, heck he wasn't even Carol Vorderman, but he could be rather insightful at times, proving that he did in fact have a brain, and wasn't afraid to use it.
"I teleport letters between you and the Princess all the time. Do you think it could actually work on ponies? Or that I could even teleport myself?"
Twilight had to admit, it was an interesting idea. For one thing it would make grocery shopping a lot easier and they could save a fortune on moving vans whenever they bought new furniture. On the other hoof though, a boy who can teleport to just about anywhere in Equestria could also have its downsides. What if she was taking a bath and he just teleported to the bathroom when he needed the toilet? Twilight knew for a fact that Rarity's shower was one such place the little dragon was sure to invade.
"Yes…well, we'll play that by ear. Right now, we need to concentrate on these bloodsuckers."
Spike suddenly looked bloated. Something in his throat was budging. With a huge burp, a parchment twinkled into sight in front of him. Twilight looked on, expectantly. Spike unrolled it and read it aloud.
"My Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I appreciate your concern on this matter; however, you must first gather more evidence that it is indeed vamponies. It has only been a short while since this horrible tragedy occurred, so the proper authorities will not have had time to complete the autopsy report. Report back to me with your findings and I will be better able to offer my advice.
HRH Princess Solaria Celestia."
Twilight had the odd feeling of dajavu. It seemed like the Nightmare Moon fiasco all over again. But if proof was needed, then it was time to hit the books.
Later on, Fluttershy was busy in the fields. It was feeding time for the critters.
"Hello, Mr and Mrs Lightfoot." She said to a pair of small rabbits with a trio of even smaller ones, "And how are we today?"
The rabbits chirped happily.
"How wonderful! Three new babies! Here are some carrots."
She fished out a bushel of carrots from her saddlebag and handed them out. One of the babies enthusiastically nuzzled up to her leg by way of thanks.
"Aw! You're welcome, little one!"
She gave the bunny a kiss on the top of the head and went on to the next set of animals.
Suddenly, heavy hoof steps and the rustling of bushes startled her into turning around. Fallen Angel emerged from the bushes.
"Fancy running into you here." He said with an arrogant grin.
"Oh, um, do I know you?"
He sniggered.
"You should. You were at my welcome party last night."
He took a step towards her.
"Handle's Fallen Angel. So, what's your name, beautiful?"
Fluttershy's cheeks glowed the same shade of pink as her mane. She stepped backwards.
"I-I-I…F-Fluttershy..."
Fallen rounded to her side, almost circling the blushing filly.
"Cute name." he said "Reminds me of this Shutter fly I once knew."
He was behind her now.
"P-p-please stop that. It's making me uncomfortable…"
With a low sadistic chuckle, he completed his circle and stood in front of her. He took another step forward.
"I-I don't like it."
"Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." He licked his lips. His eyes scanned her entire body. "Unless of course, you want me to…Agh!"
He suddenly flopped over and fell flat on his face.
Fluttershy turned with a start to her side at the sound of a rush of wind, that followed another pegasus landing next to her.
"Hey Flutters." Said Rainbow Dash, "This big jerk picking on you?"
Fallen rashly rose, bringing himself to his full height and glaring down at the two pegasi.
"Who do you think you are?! Kicking me in the back leg like that!"
"Oh that's funny!" said Rainbow, "I was about to ask you the same thing about getting up in a defenceless girl's face with that substitute for masculinity that you call a pair of wings!"
Normally any male horse who heard this insult (and Rainbow did use it on guys a lot), would have turned red with all the rage of damaged pride. Fallen's face didn't change from its pale colour to red, but his eyes and mouth were defiantly getting the message across that he was seriously pissed off.
"If my wings are a substitute for masculinity, then what the hell are yours?"
Rainbow's wings shot open to their full wingspan as a look of smug superiority covered her face.
"Bigger, for one thing!"
Fallen coiled, ready to pounce.
"You little…!"
Rainbow assumed the same pose.
"Oh, you want this to get violent, huh?"
They stood, staring at each other. Fallen scrapped dirt with his hoof, lent back to build momentum and then…
His jaw dropped and he turned around.
"Y-You're not worth fighting."
He opened his (embarrassingly) small wings and shot off like a rocket towards the Everfree forest.
"That's right! Run to mommy! What's the matter, scare of being beat up by a girl? You big chicken!"
After making a long series of clucking noises, the blue Pegasus turned to the yellow Pegasus.
"Are you okay, Fluttershy?"
She let out a breath of relief.
"I'm fine now. Thank you so much."
As Fluttershy looked at her rescuer, the world seemed to become a little brighter. Literally, as the sun came out from behind a very large cloud.
*-*-*
Twilight was in her study, browsing through the relevant material, when all of a sudden, she heard the front door opening downstairs. She looked down from the balcony and saw Twilight Eclipse entering. He was smug as ever and his sequins twinkled like a really bad Las Vegas magic show.
"Hello!" he hollered in his anoying sing-song voice, "Can I get some service?"
With a shudder, Twilight (Sparkle) closed her book and went down stairs.
"Ah hello again!" said Eclipse. I'm getting fed up of calling Eclipse by his forename. Nobody else did. Everyone called him Eclipse so I don't see why I shouldn't (though, whne I say everyone, that is everyone apart from Punch Spike who usually calls him "Twi-shite").
"I'm looking for books about Vamponies, where would I be able to find them?"
"Most likely in the horror fiction section. Over on that shelf."
He winked at her and trotter over to the shelf. After a moment's browsing his obnoxious voice violated the blissful silence.
"Oh dear. There doesn't appear to be any books on vampirism."
"Then they must have all been checked out."
He strutted back over to her.
"Any chance you can find out who checked them out? I'm sure an intelligent girl like you could find out."
Flattery will get you nowhere. Money probably could, if you happen to have a couple of thousand to spare, but flattery? Fat chance.
"I'm afraid that's confidential information. It's a little something called the data protection act."
He just sniffed. His nostrils flared up like a pair of hot air balloons.
"In that case, I'll just have another look through the bookshelves."
"Knock yourself out." She said, hoping that somehow he would literally do so as he went through the shelves.
It was at that moment that the door opened again and Sulky Swan came in. She tripped over her own loose horseshoe and bumped her head on the side of the door.
"That could have killed me!" she wailed "I'm going to sue!"
Twilight just rolled her eyes.
"Sure. And I bet it has nothing to do with the fact that your horseshoe isn't fastened on properly."
"How could you be so cold? My life's in shambles and I could have been killed just now! The least you could do is take some of the blame!"
Twilight groaned.
"Is there any particular reason you're here, or don't you have anything better to do than try for phoney lawsuits?"
Sulky pulled a book out of her saddlebag and threw it on the desk.
"I've brought this book back. It sucked by the way."
Then again, Sulky thought every book sucked.
And every animal in Equestria. They all sucked too.
Flowers sucked.
Trees sucked.
Rocks sucked.
Buildings sucked.
It was all suck, suck, suck, suck, suck with her.
But I digress, you're here to read about Twilight and friends fighting vampires, not some annoying new character's vacuum cleaner view of the world.
"Filly Chatterley's lover." Twilight read aloud, "This was due back two weeks ago. Four bits please."
Sulky turned red and her bloodshot eyes glowered at the sheer gall at asking her to pay a late fee.
"You have no sympathy at all! I can't help it if I'm a slow reader!"
"Rules are rules. Four bits or I'm going to have to discontinue your library card."
Sulky fell to the floor in a state of despair, as her ego began to crumble.
"Halt! I'll pay her fine!" came a loud cry. It was a cry filled with more ham than Ms Piggy's family reunion.
Eclipse glided along and placed four bits of currency onto the table.
Sulky was mesmerised. At long last, some pony was treating her with the respect she arrogantly thought she was entitled to, instead of begrudging her faith that the entire universe revolved around her. She gazed lovingly into Eclipse's yellow eyes, trying to convince herself that they were gold.
"Thank you. It's about time some pony offered me a bit of compassion."
She stared lovingly at him for a few seconds, and then she glared at Twilight.
"Do you mind? This is a private conversation."
The purple librarian just grinned.
"Oh I'm so sorry. But if it is private, which it so obviously is, why not actually take it somewhere privet?"
"Now, now." Said Eclipse, "Keep it up with that sarcastic tone and I may have to fight a dual for this filly."
"Oh, that can be arranged." Twilight smiled. "Oh Spike!" she sang sweetly.
"You bellowed?" asked the dragon, coming out from the kitchen.
With a deafening scream and a look of unparallel horror, Eclipse ran straight out of the library.
"Come back!" called Sulky, dashing after him "I want to ask what your favourite colour is!"
Twilight and Spike just watched the pale, uninteresting and undeniably annoying pair dart down the street.
"Is she a masochist?" Spike asked.
"Either that or she has daddy-issues."
The day's work was done, and the ponies made their way to the library. It was the hour that day and night briefly intersect. Twilight was sure that there was a specific name for this time of day, but she had more important things to focus on at the moment.
"Is every pony here?" Twilight asked. She counted her friends. "Wait a minute! My hoof went across in a straight line. Usually when I do a head count it my hoof goes up to compensate for a horn. Where's the horn?"
Rarity entered.
"The horn's fashionably late again!" laughed Pinkie.
"Dang it Rarity! You sure took your sweet time!" Apple Jack hollered.
Rarity raised her head, in that haughty dignified way.
"I'm sorry, but we agreed to meet here after work. I finished work a while before the rest of you, so I passed the time at the spa. I had a pimple from lack of sleep last night, for pity's sake! At least it was more constructive than just waiting around for every pony else for an hour!"
"Alright, alright, enough already." Twilight moaned "Can we just get on with it?"
Silence fell. Twilight, having their full attention, cleared her throat and told of her findings.
"Here is what I've discovered; every one hundred years, the forces of good mysteriously start to weaken. When that happens a ritual takes place to resurrect the king of the vamponies- Count Dracallon. In order to resurrect him, his minions need a virgin sacrifice, to pour hero blood over the soil from their native land of Ponyvania."
"Wait a minute!" said Apple Jack "Ponyvania is miles away! What are they doing over here?"
"Isn't it obvious? The citizens of Ponyvania are very suppositious. In case the legends are true, they evacuate the town around that time of the year. There's no virgin's for them to sacrifice, so the Vamponies have to look elsewhere."
"You mean…" Fluttershy stammered "*gulp*…here?"
"I'm afraid so. If Dracalion is resurrected, all of Equestria could be in serious trouble."
"Well," Rainbow Dash piped up, "If those losers are after a virgin sacrifice, then all we have to do, is lose our…"
"Don't be so disgusting!" Rarity shrieked.
"Besides," said Apple Jack tilting her head back, "Some of us have already lost it. I mean, I've been around the block a few times. It's not like I'm a little school filly who…school…"
She suddenly turned very white.
"Oh my stars…the little ones! Apple Bloom and her friends are having a sleepover in their tree house tonight!"
"Oh no!" Rarity screamed "Sweetie Belle! And Scootaloo!"
The two ran towards the Apple orchard, with the others in hot pursuit.
In a little tree house at Sweet Apple Acres, three little ponies huddled around a book titled Slumber 101: All you ever wanted to know about slumber parties but were afraid to ask.
"Next on the checklist," Sweetie Belle the unicorn announced "are makeovers."
Apple Bloom grinned widely and Scootaloo the Pegasus rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"Cutie-Mark-Crusader-Hairdressers! Yay!"
"Aw man!" Scootaloo moaned, "We can't possibly get our cutie marks doing something that sappy!"
"We've got to try everything." Said Sweetie as she began to tie Apple Blooms tail into a braid.
"I really don't think our special talent is in braiding each others hair. It's just stupid!"
"What's the matter?" said Apple Bloom, smirking, "Afraid you'll like it?"
"I'm not afraid of anything!" Scootaloo yelled, flapping her wings up and down.
She stomped over to Sweetie Belle and sat down in front of her.
"Do your worst!"
Sweetie took a look at Scootaloo's hair. She hummed, contemplating the possibilities. She looked over one side. She shook her head. Maybe the other side? Nope.
"Your hair's too short. There's nothing I can do with it."
"Like I said, it was a stupid idea to begin with!"
As far as Scootaloo was concerned, the Cutie Mark Crusader's sleepovers were serious business. They weren't simply for the fun of staying over at a friend's house for the night, eating junk food and telling ghost stories. They were important meetings to help them to find their niche in society.
The final minute of sunlight ended. It was now dark, lit by the one flashlight. A wind began to sing as the branches of trees began to hiss.
The wind was like a whistle. But then, it sounded like a roar.
All of a sudden a Pegasus burst into the tree house. The filly's screamed and jumped back.
"Cutie Mark Crusader Necromancers." He said with an evil grin. "Yay."
With one swoop, Fallen grabbed the three children, who were screaming with hysterical terror and glided down to where Eclipse was waiting.
"Start putting them in chains!"
Eclipse used his unicorn magic to levitate chains. Apple Bloom first. An iron collar clamped around her neck. She tried to run, but Eclipse stomped his hoof on the end of the chain and she landed face down. Both vamponies laughed, as tears filled her golden eyes.
Suddenly, there was crack as loud as thunder and Eclipse flew ten feet through the air and slammed hard into the side of a tree, with a pained scream.
Fallen turned around in shock, only to be kicked in the face by a humongous red stallion.
Big Macintosh scraped his front hoofs and stood in front of the children. He galloped towards Fallen, as the Pegasus was picking himself up and hammered his fore hoofs down all over his body. Eclipse managed to get himself up and caught the stallion's eye. With one last stomp to Fallen's face Big Macintosh started after the unicorn who screamed, grabbed the chain attached to Apple Bloom's neck and ran like a bat from hell.
Macintosh gave chase and easily caught up. He slammed into Eclipse's side, knocking him over with devastating strength.
"Like pickin' on little ones huh?" the red horse stepped menacingly over to the frightened unicorn. If Eclipse were a human (or humanoid vampire in any case), he would have learned what shirt tails were for. Either way, it was a brown alert situation for him.
"Let's see how you like it." His hoof raised, ready to cave Eclipse's skull in.
Before the blow could connect, Punch Spike leapt from his hiding place and drove a pair of snake –like fangs into Macintosh's neck. The stallion roared in agony as blood was drained from his body. He thrashed about, trying to shake his assailant off. Punch held firm, but it took all of his strength to do so. Macintosh slammed him into a tree and broke free, just before slumping to the ground.
The three vamponies gathered around the giant red horse. Fallen had hold to Apple Bloom's leash. She ran to her brother and sobbed wildly, begging him to get up.
"What took you so long, Punch?" Eclipse screamed, "Look at the mess he made of my hair!"
"Oi! Don't you criticise me, Twi-Shite! You're the one who was off pulling birds while we were getting the casket to the castle!"
Big Macintosh, growled up at the terrible trio. He had a protective foreleg around the tear streaked Apple Bloom.
"Stop bickering guys." Said Fallen "Looks like you didn't quite drain enough blood from the oaf." He smiled his annoying, smug smile.
"Never mind. Time for a nightcap."
A flash of light erupted and a spark of magic smashed into him, knocking him over. Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, Apple Jack, Fluttershy and Rarity galloped at the three. Spike, riding on Twilight's back, was swinging a morning star around his head.
"Let my sister go, scumbags!" Apple Jack hollered.
Twilight and Rarity's horns started glowing and they fired more bolts of light towards the vamponies.
"Bugger!" snapped Punch "Leg it!"
He grabbed Apple Bloom, who yelped as more chains were wrapped around her and she was flung onto Punch Spike's back. The three vamponies thundered away with great speed, heading in the direction of the Everfree forest.
"I don't think so!" Rainbow screamed, opening her wings and shooting after the kidnappers like a bullet.
Fallen Angel saw her propelling towards them at super speed and somersaulted to change direction. He flew towards her, with his fangs shining in the moonlight. Rainbow swung her hoof and punched Fallen in the side of face, sending him crashing to the ground bellow and continued the chase. Rainbow wasn't just fast. She was good at fast.
Eclipse's horn glowed and all of a sudden, two skeletons dropped down from the trees and grabbed Rainbow, knocking her out of the air and pinning her to the ground.
Eclipse continued running, summoning more skeletons.
Rainbow snapped her wings open, knocking her captors off as more charged her. Apple Jack and Twilight caught up. Raging Apple Jack started kicking the skeletons to bits, Twilight used her magic to throw huge rocks at them, and Spike leapt off her back to smash them apart with his morning star.
Once the skeletons had been dispatched, Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash started again towards the forest.
"Oh no you don't!" Twilight yelled, snaring them with her levitating magic.
"Let me go, Twilight! They've got my sister!"
"Even if both of you went, what chance do you have? You'll be sitting ducks in that forest!"
Twilight let them go. They both landed softy on the ground.
"Besides. I think your brother needs help at the moment."
Apple Jack's green eyes widened into horrified orbs.
"Oh my gosh…" she gasped. Then she ran back to the farm.
Fluttershy was looking after Big Macintosh. The big red horse was breathing slowly as he lay on his side.
"It's okay." She said soothingly, "I'm a vet."
Normally, when you are injured and someone says that to you, it's a time to either panic or rip into them by comparing you to an animal. Of course, horses are animals anyway, so a vet was just as good as a doctor. Especially since this yellow Pegasus didn't walk with a cane or have stubble, or even a PSP. So he could at least be sure that her bedside manner was up to scratch.
"Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo!" Rarity called out "Where are you?"
"Rarity!" came a small voice. Rarity turned to see her sister timidly emerging from her hiding place. Her eyes were bloodshot from weeping. Behind her, Scootaloo trembled. Completely shell-shocked. Rarity galloped over to them.
Sweetie burst into tears and buried her face into her sister's side.
"Shhhh…" Rarity whispered, as she wrapped a foreleg around the sobbing foal and stroked her hair.
"Don't cry. Everything will be alright."
She wrapped her other foreleg around Scootaloo. She stood there just holding the two. They were frightened. Frightened of the kidnappers coming back. They were frightened at what happened to Big Macintosh and they were frightened for their friend Apple Bloom. They just stood their. Safe in Rarity's arms as the clean comforting sent of her perfume filled their noses.
Twilight and the others returned. Apple Jack ran over to Fluttershy and Big Macintosh. The latter looked up weakly at her.
"He's lost a lot of blood." Said Fluttershy. I've wrapped the wound, but he needs a transfusion. Pinkie's just gone to get the doctor."
Apple Jack bent down beside her brother. She nuzzled his nose.
Pinkie returned with the doctor. Spike helped Macintosh into the barn. He came out and rejoined the war meeting.
"Those vamponies have magic." Said Twilight "But I know a better one. Spike. Take this down."
She handed the dragon a quill and parchment.
"Dear Princess Celstia,
I now know beyond any reasonable doubt, that Vamponies have indeed invaded Ponyville. They have attacked a number of you citizens. They have kidnapped one of your younger subjects and I believe they are planning to sacrifice her to resurrect Count Dracalion, in the old Princess Castle in the Everfree forest. I request your permission to use the magic that will enable us to remove these vile creatures.
Yours with the greatest sincerity,
Twilight Sparkle."
Spike then breathed his magic green fire and teleported the letter away. A minute later, he burped up the Princess' reply. Twilight read it aloud.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
Permission granted.
Princess Celestia.
Spike then became bloated and burped up six large orbs, bearing the same symbols as the six fillies' rump markings. The Elements of Harmony glowed with incredible magical light, floated to each of the six and melted into their cutie marks.
"Spike, you stay with Big Macintosh, just to be on the safe side."
"Our team name, silly! The elements of harmony turn us into superheroes, so we need a superhero team name! How about Chibi Sentai Umaranger!"
The others just looked at her blankly, as they trekked through the dark forest.
"Chubby what…?"
"Chibi Sentai Umaranger! It means Little Task Force: Horse Rangers!"
Rainbow thought about it.
"Nah. Too much of a mouthful." She was then struck by an idea, "I got it! The Fellowship of the Horseshoe!"
"Ooh! Ooh! Even better! The Fillyship of the Horseshoe!"
"How about the H-Ponies?" Fluttershy offered "H, for, you know, harmony?"
"Oh good heavens no!" cried Rarity "Do you have any idea of how many obscene suggestions we'd get from dirty-minded teenagers, with their own interpretations of what the H would stand for?"
"Like Horror!" Pinkie added, oblivious to words such as Hentai, "The Horror Movie Ponies! Actually that has a nice ring to it!"
"I got it!" said Rainbow "Power Rangers Mystic Horse!"
"Or the Big Sister Ponies!"
Apple Jack kept walking along at the front and remained silent. Twilight was worried that a fight was going to kick-off. Apple Jack's brother had just been injured in a terrible brawl and her sister was in the clutches of three dangerously creepy vampire ponies. When family is in trouble, a girl like Apple Jack is a stack of dynamite and Pinkie was comparable to a lit match. Twilight trotted a bit faster and brought herself alongside the earth pony.
"Apple Jack, is their conversation bothering you? I know, this is no time for jokes, so if you like, I'll tell Pinkie to stop."
Whenever the six bearers of the elements went on any kind of mission, Twilight was usually the default leader, which meant that as well as leading the way and giving the orders, she also held the positions of map-reader, counsellor, diplomat, body-language interpreter and raffle-number caller.
Much to Twilight's surprise, Apple Jack didn't seem mad at all.
"Actually, it's kind of reassuring."
"But what about Apple Bloom? Who knows what those monsters are doing to her?"
"Exactly." Said Apple Jack, earnestly, "It don't bare thinking about. At least Pinkie's monologues help to keep my mind off it."
Twilight was always the first one to admit that Apple Jack was pretty amazing; Sometimes, losing her temper at the silliest things, like the offer of help pronouncing a difficult word and yet other times she displayed the patience of a Saint. There was no middle ground for Apple Jack's emotions. It was either one extreme or the other.
*-*-*
Zecora was at work mixing a special brew in her hut. Wooden masks watched with interest and she poured in more ingredients.
Behind her, the door opened and there stood the ever pretentious Fallen Angle.
The zebra grinned.
"Pompous creature of the night. Have you come for little bite? A word of caution to your plight. Be gone at once or it will be you who gets a fright."
"Is that something you prepared or did you just rhyme that many times in a row by accident?"
The Pegasus vampony stepped towards Zecora, eyes blazing and teeth glistening from the glow of the cauldron fire.
"Can't have any goody-goody witch-doctors interfering."
Zecora turned around to show off an amulet she wore around her neck. It began to glow, with an eerie white light. Fallen Jumped back in horror. Her eyes seemed to flash. They pierced the very core of his being. As she stalked menacingly towards him he backed away. The door slammed behind him. He was trapped. He began to tremble. The tables had turned and it scared the Pegasus shitless.
"And now, you pathetic excuse for a foal, I return to you your Equine soul!"
Fallen's scream echoed for miles around, drowning out Zecora's maniacal laughter.
Twilight and the others (who still hadn't agreed on their team name) approached the hut and heard a blood curdling scream. They ran towards the terrible cry and saw Fallen take off, in a fit of terror.
Zecora stood in her doorway, looking at the fleeing Pegasus with an air of very smug malevolence.
"Zecora, are you alright?"
The zebra turned to them. Her sadistic grin faded to a genuine kindly smile at the sight of those familiar friendly faces.
"Of course. That fool will now be less of a threat, because he will soon learn the true meaning of regret."
Our heroes explained the situation to their zebra friend.
Wait; shouldn't that be heroines, instead of heroes?
The word heroes can be used for both sexes.
But none of them are male.
Does it matter?
Whatever word better fits, they told Zecora what had happened and she led them inside. They gathered around her cauldron as she scooped the liquid up with a clay bottle.
"Take a bottle of this brew on your campaign. It purifies, so that you won't get bats on the brain."
She furnished the six ponies with a flask containing the purifier and then filled a bottle for her own bag.
"I will go and administer this to your brother. You must go and save Apple Bloom with the other."
Zecora had a soft spot for Apple Bloom. She was the zebra's first real friend, even though it was an unusual intergenerational friendship. Pony folk used to avoid Zecora, suspecting her of wickedness. But that ended when a small yellow pony walked up to her and just asked her what she was doing.
"Are you sure you'll be safe getting to sweet apple acres?" Twilight asked.
"With this amulet, I will be fine. Now we must all hurry. We are short of time."
After a while of walking, talking and still not being able to agree on a team name, the six brave fillies finally arrived at the ruins of the castle of the two princesses.
"Here we are." Said Twilight, "My friends, this will be our greatest challenge to date. I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But what I can promise you is that there is a frightened little filly in that castle that needs our help. We may not come out of there alive, but those who do, will remember the heroic scarifies made by the ones less fortunate. If we stand together, we may…"
Then she realised that she was speaking to thin air. She saw the last part of Fluttershy's tail disappear into the castle. She popped her head back out.
"Are you coming, Twilight?"
Twilight just signed and galloped after her friends.
From the high tower, Punch Spike watched as our six heroines crossed the castle draw bridge and enter the main keep.
"Bollocks!" he snapped.
"Please don't swear in front of the prisoner." Said Fallen.
"What the hell are you talking about, Fall Guy? She's a sacrifice!" he pointed at Apple Bloom who was cast in an iron collar attached to an alter, "What does It matter if she hears me swearing or not?"
"Your bad language offends me, too you know." Eclipse added.
"Look, can we shut up about what words I can or can't say for a moment and concentrate? The good guys are breaking in! One of use has to get downstairs and kick them silly tarts out!"
A smile of relief returned to Apple Bloom's face. The term 'Good Guys' likely referred to her big sister and her friends, as they had often been entrusted with special missions for Princess Celestia, such as dragon hunting. The term 'Tarts' on the other hand had her puzzled. Was Apple Jack going to use apple tarts to rescue her? Then again, Apple Pies were the weapon of choice in the battle of Appaloosa, so maybe there was method to her madness after all.
"Right!" Punch shouted "Who's going after them?"
"I'll stay here and guard the prisoner." Said Fallen.
"There's a turn up. I'd have thought you'd be the first one to get your teeth into that yellow one."
Fallen began to look uncomfortable.
"I'm…not as hungry as I thought I was."
Punch turned to Eclipse.
"I've got to start getting ready for the ceremony. You go and get rid of them."
"Me? But I'll get my mane all sweaty!"
"Get your fat arse down those stairs or I'll rip every last bloody hair out!"
With his pompadour held hostage in this way, Eclipse had no choice.
*-*-*
The bearers of the elements of harmony entered the great hall of the castle, tired but unbeaten. Most were panting and sweat trickled along their backs.
"Wait!" Rarity gasped, "Just let me get my second wind!"
"There's no…" pant "time!"
She got into the starter's position and was just about to take off, when Twilight hopped in front of her.
"Calm down, Rainbow."
"Outta my…" gasp "way…" pant "Twilight."
"Look, there's still time before midnight and some of the others are about to collapse."
"Then I'll go on without you!"
"We can only activate the elements of harmony when the six of us are together! Let's just take five minutes to get our bearings and catch our breath."
Rainbow just pounced and dashed right past her right past her.
"Oh no you don't!" Apple Jack yelled, jumping in front.
"If you don't get out my way I'll…!"
"You do what? Get it into that thick skull of yours! You're not the only one who wants to save Apple Bloom!"
Rainbow just glared. It was a battle of wills as their eyes met.
"This isn't like the running of the leaves. There's more at stake than winning a stupid bet, or showing off how great you are. If you're going to stand even a snowball's chance in a volcano against those vamponies, then you're going to need help. It doesn't matter how tough you think you are."
Rainbow's eyes flashed with anger and she reeled with a furious neigh.
Then she sat down.
"Five minutes. No more!"
Silence fell.
Twilight pulled out her thermos and passed it around.
"Ooh! I know what we need!" Pinkie piped up. She was one of the few who least needed a rest. She had neigh unlimited energy.
She went along the wall and tapped it with her front hoof. Her child like face conveyed a focused look that indicated that it was one of those rare times that she was actually concentrating on something.
Tap tap. Solid.
Tap, tap. Nope.
Tap, tap. Not here.
Thud, thud. Perfect!
She smiled, flipped around and smashed the wall open with a double back kick.
The others were speechless. The dust settled and there, in the new hole in the wall, was a plate with six donughts.
"Doughnut anyone?"
Jaws all around were dropped so low they could practically have dug a hole all the way to china.
And if Pinkie producing sweets from the wall wasn't random enough, music started playing.
"Oh no! No Pinkie! Not now!" Twilight wailed.
"If you want a tasty treat that's round, not long,
A hundred million beat cops can't be wrong!
Hardy any two will ever taste the same,
Be they either filled or glazed or plain!
Donuts! Over them, I gush!
Donuts! For a sugar rush!
Doghnuuuts…
Doughnuts!"
Once the music died down, they began to eat the snacks. Already, they were feeling a little better. Music can do that sometimes. Like if you hear a catchy disco beat, sometimes you just have this uncontrollable urge to get up and dance. The sugar from the doughnuts and the caffeine from the coffee revitalised the six.
"Ah! How quaint! A nice little picnic!" came a voice. The six fillies turned to see Eclipse entering through a door. Apple Jack jumped up and stood firm, with a firry snort.
"Where's Apple Bloom? Bring her down now!"
He sighed.
"You are so one track minded. How come you never ask how I am?"
"It might have something to do with the fact that you keep stalking us, trying to drink our blood and you kidnapped a small child!"
"Oh, Miss Sparkle, don't you see? You could have been a fine vampony. What a team we would have made! You with your brains, recourses, popularity and magic! And me, with my…"
"With your sequins and hairspray. Now get out of our way or I'll show you my magic up front! " her horn glowed menacingly like a red light sabre.
He glowered at the six fillies.
"I should have known. Heartless witches just like all the other girls who've rejected me. I've tried to befriend every filly in Ponyville and only one was ever kind enough to give me the time of day."
"You're rather vain for someone without a reflection." Said Rarity. "The one common element among those girls is you. Just because someone doesn't fawn over you, doesn't mean they don't have a heart."
"Enough talk!" yelled Rainbow, "I'm gonna smash you into a pile of dust, buster!"
She dived towards him. His horn glowed and the skeleton ponies dived out of the shadows, crashing into rainbow and pining her down. Then more of them charged at the other ponies. The two on top of rainbow dash kept stomping her. One began to rip the feathers out of her wings. She screamed in pain and thrashed around violently.
Twilight shot out a magic bolt at the one in front of her.
"Fluttershy! You go help Rainbow!"
"Alright."
Fluttershy raced forward and slammed into one of them. As the skeleton reeled like a cobra, Fluttershy opened her wing and spun it through the monster's neck sending its head flying. Fluttershy stood over Rainbow Dash, keeping the skeletons away by swinging her powerful wings around like swords. All around, fur and bones were flying. Earth ponies kicked, and unicorns fired light magic in every direction. Eclipse was satisfied. There were enough skeletons to keep the girls at bay without him being directly involved, so he powered up his horn. It glowed an angry red and burst into flames.
Whoosh! His horn began to spew embers. One singed Apple Jack's tail as she yelped out of the way. Pinkie did a jump splits as the fireball shot under her legs.
Now the goodies had to dodge fireballs. But they couldn't keep dodging because they were trying to fight the skeletons, which were harder to hit because fireballs were shooting up their backsides, but Fluttershy couldn't dodge the fireballs because she was trying to protect Rainbow Dash and she couldn't protect Rainbow Dash because all the chaos was driving her batty!
Eclipse grinned with every ounce of smugness and sadistic pleasure. He could aim his shot safely. In his sinister sights, was the white unicorn who dared to call him vain. Boom.
Direct hit.
Rarity screamed in agony. The others look towards her and screamed as their friend fell to the ground, her mane burning and her agonised wailing fading away, drowned out by Eclipse's laughter.
Time seemed to stop.
Rarity lay completely still and silent on the ground.
Then she got up.
"My hair…what did he do to my hair?"
She felt her long purple main and grabbed a string. It was pitch black, smelled horrible and crumbled to ash. Her eyes narrowed into razor sharp knives.
"Son of a bitch…"
Eclipse stopped laughing when he saw Rarity. Her horn glowed violent purple. Sparks of magic zapped menacingly, lighting up the whole room.
Eclipse started to look nervous.
"S-S-Stop her!" One ran at her from the side. A swipe of her hoof knocked its head off. Another tried to grab her from behind and was blasted with magic for its trouble.
By now, Eclipse was really getting scarred. He turned and ran. His hoofs pounded the floor as Rarity's horn gave a maddeningly loud hum and a bolt of lightning shot out. Eclipse's scream echoed down the hall.
An eye for an eye.
A tooth for a tooth.
And a bolt of lightning up the ass for a ruined mane.
The last skeleton broke apart with a rattle of bones.
Panting with anger, Rainbow Dash picked her self up.
"This…is…stupid."
She turned towards the door and began walking.
"Rainbow! What are you doing?" Twilight called.
Rainbow turned and shot her a nasty look.
"You're plan isn't going to work! You're leading a suicide run!"
She opened up her wings. A couple of torn feathers floated down.
"You can't leave!" Apple Jack yelled "What about my sister."
Rainbow said nothing. She just galloped out of the door and took off into the cold, cloudy night. Apple Jack ran after her.
"You good for nothing coward!"
Silence. Apple Jack stood there, glaring angrily at the sky as a wave of blue feathers dropped around.
No one knew what to say. Apple Jack turned around and walked forward. She walked right past Rarity (who was manically beating a skull) and kept moving forward.
"Come on. We've no time to lose."
Twilight trotted alongside her.
"Are you okay?"
The earth pony turned her head away from the unicorn.
"I don't want to talk about it. Saving Bloom's all that matters now."
Twilight thought it best to pretend that she hadn't seen that one tear escape from Apple Jack's eye.
The five horses walked along a corridor and found themselves in what looked like a large library. Under normal circumstances, this would have been what Twilight called "Paradise". Normal circumstances being a moment when you walk through a library that doesn't belong to a depraved pervert. "Picking up girls for dummies", "Necromancy for dummies", "Evil incantations for dummies" and "Body Language for dummies" were just a few of the titles found of those massive bookshelves.
"Why is every book in this library the Dummies edition? Was it like a prank or something?"
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" said Pinkie, "Most of the guide books I own happen to be the For Dummies edition!"
"Sorry Pinkie." That was Twilight's mouth talking. She had meant to say "I rest my case.", but considering that one pony had already left the group, she decided not to risk any hurt feelings. Sure one could argue that those vamponies were going to hurt more than her feelings but that was beside the point.
Twilight surveyed the area. At the other end of the room, there was a switch. However she couldn't see any light bulbs above them. The area was lit entirely with candles.
"This is a really weird room." Said Twilight, "Books about evil incantations, mysterious switches on the wall, an evil looking horse grinning at us from the door... Agh!"
"Hello girls." Said Punch Spike.
The five stood firm.
"Look, does this have to end in a bloody mess? Why don't you just let me bite you? Dracallion's got a few slots open for brides. Sure there are only three positions available, but the other two could just be my bits on the side."
"Actually, I figured I'd just kick your little vampire ass into a pulp and fertilise my apple trees with you." Said Apple Jack.
Punch scowled. Turned down by the girls. Yet again. He pounded the switch on the wall, opening a trap door for Apple Jack to fall through. She yelled as she hit the floor, with her cowboy hat floating down after her.
"We may not have a wood shed anywhere, but as that tart would say 'that thar filly's gonna get a whuppin' anyway'!"
Fluttershy looked into the dark hole. She could make out Apple Jack picking herself up.
"Hold on! I'll get you out of there!" she called before diving in.
She landed next to Apple Jack, just as her hat floated neatly onto her head. A perfect landing.
The room looked a bit like a dungeon, except for the window, looking out into the garden. Wispy clouds sailed past a huge full moon.
"Come on." Said Fluttershy "Let's get back up."
Then hoof steps clopped towards them. A very muscular earth pony with a black bowl-cut mane and a unibrow stepped out of the shadows, glaring at the two fillies. Apple Jack protectively stepped in front of Fluttershy and glared back at the other horse.
"So what? You the one that's supposed to give me my whuppin' huh?"
The stallion stepped to the side. He didn't say anything, but it obvious that he wanted to make sure the fillies got a good look at his abs. He stepped in front of the window, catching the moon and let out a deep breath. His muscles began to contract. He began to tremble. He grunted and let out pained growls. Fluttershy started to blush. Apple Jack just raised an eyebrow.
"Are you takin' a dump or something? Cause, you know, ladies present and all that."
With a savage howl, the stallion threw his head back as his mane grew to cover his entire body and huge, sharp fangs filled his mouth and his hooves were replaced with paw that housed razor sharp nails. He crept forward, snarling at the two horses.
Neither of whom were very impressed.
"A horse turning into a wolf?" said Fluttershy. "That doesn't make any sense."
The wolf stopped in his tracks. His eyes were wide and bewildered.
"I mean, ponies and wolves are both quadrupeds, so there's no real difference in running speed. Also, horses are herbivores while wolves are carnivorous. It just doesn't make sense for a horse to turn into something that isn't vegetarian…"
The wolf grew tired of her nitpicking and pounced.
"Look out!" Fluttershy yelled. Her wings opened knocking Apple Jack out of the wolf's way.
"No! Fluttershy!"
*-*-*
Back upstairs, Twilight Rarity and Pinkie scraped the floor with their hooves, glaring daggers at the vampire.
"Oh really now, do we have to prolong this?"
The three rushed at him. In a flash he leapt over them. Twilight turned and stabbed at him with her horn. Punch kept backing and dodging for sheer life. He jumped back and was sent flying by Pinkie's back kick. Punch flew forward and Twilight's horn scraped along his cheek, as he screamed in pain.
"You'll pay for that, bitch!"
He leapt towards the candles, knocking the stick over and dashed from candle sick to candle stick until the room was pitch black.
"Get in a huddle!" Twilight shouted "Rarity! Lights!"
Rarity's horn flashed and filled the whole area with white light. They saw only too late.
Punch swooped down from his hiding place on the ceiling and landed right on top of Twilight, slamming her down on the floor.
"Don't move!" he yelled. His foreleg coiled around Twilight's neck from behind.
"I could snap her neck or sink my teeth into her anytime I want! But I might reconsider it." He then grinned as he eyed the two ponies in front of him the way a hungry person looks at a prime rib-eye steak.
"If you're especially nice to me."
Rarity glared. There was nothing they could do.
"Alright." She sighed "What do you want us to do?"
Punch Spike's grin was no longer of a hungry guy looking at a piece of steak, but now one of a hungry guy who had been given a voucher to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
"That's more like it my little dolly-birds. Now I want the two of you to have a snog."
"Snog?"
"It means kiss."
"Okay. Seems harmless enough." Said Pinkie, shrugging.
"Now wait a minute you perv…Mrph!"
Pinkie let Rarity go and turned to Punch.
"Was that okay?"
"Not bad. Do it again. Only this time, do it slowly."
The red in the face Rarity was not slow to object.
"Now see here, you wretched little pervert! What sort of sick twisted little mind gets their jollies from watching two girls kissing?"
Punch tightened his grip on Twilight's neck. She yelped in pain. Rarity gave a cry of alarm.
"Well, it does help distract me from my hunger pains…" and he licked Twilight's neck. She shuddered. Rarity glared daggers at the creep. Worse than daggers in fact. The way rarity was staring it was more like glaring basket-hilt claymores. Then she lowered her head in defeat.
"Alright. Pinkie, go ahead."
For a moment, time seemed to stand still. The only sound was the ticking of a clock.
"Get on with it!" his grip on Twilight tightened again and she gave a yelp.
Twilight was gasping for breath. Things were turning black. He mind was all over the place as the darkness enveloped all around her.
Help…help me Spike…!
Her horn gave a faint glow and died down. Again, faint glow, die down.
Glow. Glow, glow. Glow, glow, glow.
*-*-*-*
Big Macintosh's purification was complete.
"Now all he needs is a little rest. And before you know it, he'll be back at his best."
Granny Smith thanked her and went over to her grandson.
Suddenly, Spike's head started to ache. It was a dull pain that throbbed at intervals. He clutched his head in agony. It was like a trumpet blaring between his ears.
Par. Par, par. Par, par, par.
"Twilight…Twilight!"
The dragon looked around desperately. All he could see was the inside of the barn. Wall to wall wood. The door rattled against its bolt with the howling wind, whistling outside.
Wind? That was it!
He opened the door, faced the direction of the wind, gave a deep breath and shot out a wave of green fire.
The wind blew the flames right back at him until they completely enveloped his small body.
*-*-*-*-*
Fluttershy gave a giggle as she tickled the wolf's tummy admits the heavy wagging of the tail and loud lolling of the tong.
"Good puppy!"
Apple Jack looked on, bored out of her skull.
"Can we get back up now? We kind of have a vampire to slay."
"Oh my! I must have got sidetracked!" She turned back to the were puppy.
"Sorry boy. We have to go now. You be good now!"
The wolf rolled over onto his legs and gave her a huge slobbery lick.
"Aw! I love you too boy!"
She then wrapped her forelegs around the earth pony, fluttered her wings and hovered up through the trap door.
They got the fright of their lives when they emerged through the hole in the floor. In fact they were so shocked that Fluttershy dropped Apple Jack down through the hole and had to fly down to get her again.
They were horrified at the sight. Punch Spike holding Twilight hostage white Rarity and Pinkie…it doesn't bare thinking about.
There was a flash of green smoke and a purple blur flashed out, cannonballing into Punch, who tumbled off of Twilight. The blur was the familiar sight of Spike the dragon laying into Punch. The dragon bit and scratched at the vampire horse who screamed and cussed in pain. He finally broke free and reeled, with a frighteningly loud neigh on par with a war horse. Spike wound his fist and smashed it into the horse's head, knocking him over. The dragon grabbed his victim's tail and started swinging him around his head like an Olympic throwing hammer and flung him into the wall so hard that a cascade of books plummeted off their shelves and pummelled the vampony.
Weakly, Punch climbed out of the pile of books, gasping for breath. He saw Spike edging towards him. Green eyes blazed with murder in mind. Spike threw his head back and blasted out a jet of flames, sending Punch and the books ablaze. The vampire screamed and flailed about as his body crumbled to ash. Before his body was destroyed, one word escaped his screeching lips.
"Oh buggery!"
Twilight regained consciousness. She picked herself up and gasped at the sight.
Spike stood there, his eyes lost in the destruction as if he were in love with the flame.
And that, dear readers, is why some people are afraid of dragons.
The five horses looked on. Shaken by the violence that had taken place. The dragon turned his head. Everyone froze.
"Twilight! Are you okay?" he yelped, running up to the unicorn and folding her into his arms. A wave of relief fell over the horses. Except Rarity. She was still starring wide eyed with an open jaw. Twilight returned Spike's hug and they just cuddled for a moment. "Shhh…" she soothed "Don't worry Spike. I'm fine now. A little upset that you burned so many books during your big hero moment, but otherwise, fine."
Spike let her go and looked at the others. He noticed one missing.
"Where's Rainbow?"
"Don't ever mention that name around me no more!" Apple Jack yelled. She turned her head away, looking at the burning books.
"I'll explain on the way." Said Twilight, "Come on everyone. We've lost a lot of time."
She headed towards the door that the recently cremated Punch had been blocking.
While Fluttershy brought down one of the curtains to smother the fire out, Twilight and Pinkie went forward. Spike was about to move after them, when he noticed Rarity staring at him.
"Oh, um…what I did to him…you've got to understand! I did it to protect Twilight! And…"
Rarity finally spoke.
"You…you were amazing! Such strength! Such anger!"
It was then that Spike finally understood the true meaning of the word 'Ecstatic'
Fluttershy timidly tapped Apple Jack on the shoulder.
"Come on. We need to make our move."
"Okay." She said without emotion. When the group finally reached the door, Apple Jack gave the pile of ashes a contemptuous glare. Then something hit her.
She chuckled.
"Hey guys! I just thought of something funny! Punch Spike just got punched out by Spike!"
Fallen Angel was leafing his way through a book, perched on a music sheet holder.
"What 'cha reading?" Apple Bloom asked him.
"A book of incantations." Said Fallen, "I'm looking for the right one to use for the ritual."
"Don't 'cha already know it?"
"Well, yes but…"
"So why do you need to look it up?"
Eclipse removed his head from the hair mould he used to reshape his pompadour.
"That's a good point, Fallen. It's just a simple matter of slitting the girl's throat and pouring her blood over the ashes. Why do you need to revise it?"
"What are you doing back here? You were supposed to be fighting off those girls!"
Eclipse's eyes looked all around the room, hoping to see something that would give him the inspiration he needed to think of an excuse.
"Well, I, um…"
"Get back out there and fight, you coward! We can't be interrupted!"
Eclipse stood firm.
"Shant!"
With a grunt, Fallen reached into the coffin and scooped up a handful of Ponyvania soil. He held it in his hoof and pulled his foreleg back. Eclipse gasped in utter horror.
"Get down there or I'll grind this dirt into that substitute for masculinity that you call a hair-do!"
Eclipse turned and shot out the door. Nothing must mess with the do.
Fallen grinned. He was still saddles sore over his humiliating confrontation with Rainbow Dash, but he had to admit, that blue Pegasus knew some pretty offensive insults. He returned to his book.
"Um…" came a small voice.
Fallen looked down to see a nervous looking Apple Bloom.
"Are you really gonna cut my neck open…?"
He didn't know what to say. He just looked at those huge, sad, timid, orange eyes.
Damn it. He thought. This would be so much easier if that zebra hadn't given me my soul back.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
Okay! Boring bit's over! Now it's back to our six heroes. The story of Rainbow Dash's departure from the party had been explained to Spike, who was completely lost for words. Even if he could think of anything to say, Apple Jack still looked as though anything mentioned that could even be connected to Rainbow Dash, would drive her into giant green berserker mode. Third person speak and all. So they couldn't talk about hurrying up. Hurrying, speed, dashing, dash. They couldn't talk about their favourite colours. Colours, rainbows. Or even fruit. Fruit, oranges, orange, colour, rainbow.
So the group just walked down the hallway. The only sound was their hoof steps echoing down the empty stone hall. It was driving Pinkie insane. Of course she was usually half way there already so nobody noticed any difference. It was times like this, when a naturally extroverted filly like Pinkie gets bored.
She slowed her pace, so that she was slightly behind the others and decided to walk on just her hind legs.
She was still bored.
She decided to walk on just her forelegs. Well, it was a little more challenging at least.
"Pinkie, what are you doing?" Rarity finally asked.
"Walking on my forelegs."
A blank stare from Rarity.
"What for?"
"It gives me something to do."
This, I'm sorry to say, is the reason it is so hard to write stories based on video games. When you're actually playing one of those games where you have to run the gauntlet through a castle, nobody says anything but you don't mind that because you're too busy whipping at candles and mincing zombies into burger meat to care. And even when there are no enemies to fight, you don't mind, because by the time the game gives you a lull you're actually thankful for a quick breather. This is the very reason why movies based video games are so hard to pull off.
Our heroes reached the top floor of the castle's main structure. Once they got to the other end of the room, there was just the long climb to the highest tower.
As the doors opened, they gasped. There at the other end of the corridor stood a horse wrapped in a black cowl. His eyes were covered by the black cloth and between his teeth; he brandished a long, sinister looking scythe.
"No…" Twilight gasped, "It can't be..."
The sinister horse slowly stepped towards them.
"One of the four horses of the apocalypse…"
His hoof steps echoed around the empty stone walls.
"The horse of Death…"
He stopped. Twilight trembled. The cowl. The scythe. They were both elements of the one horse who appears before a unicorn who is about to die. She gulped.
"…Binky…?"
The roar of a bell echoed in the distance.
"No my dear."
The clocked figure dropped the scythe to the floor and threw his cowl off. No, it wasn't Binky, the stallion of death. It was something much worse.
"Oh great, it's that jackass Eclipse."
Well, to a girl it was much worse; the pretentiousness, the pick-up lines, the lack of fashion sense (as Eclipse was still wearing his sequins), the ego and the overpowering smell of cheep hairspray were all enough to drive any filly to jump out of the window rather than be within smelling distance.
"Under normal circumstances my dears, I would congratulate your prowess in getting past Punch Spike. However, before he became a vampire, he was weak for an Earth Pony. Apparently, he was even weak by Unicorn standards. So, my dear ladies…"
"And gent." Spike added as he popped out from behind Twilight.
Eclipse jumped back in horror.
"The purple dragon!" he screamed like a little girl.
"Dude, what is it with you and dragons anyway? Not even Fluttershy gets that jumpy around me and she's a total draknophobe."
Trembling to regain his composure, Eclipse looked up to the sky.
"It all began when I was a boy in Canterlot…"
"Oh really nice going Spike!" Twilight snapped bonking him on the head, "Now he's going to tell us his life story!"
It is to this day, a fact that's sad but true. Mary-Sues always tell you their life story.
"If this is going to take a while, I might as well pretty myself up." Said Rarity, as she pulled a portable hair-styling kit out of her saddlebag."
"If it's not too much trouble, could please you do mine afterwards, Rarity? If we have time that is."
"Why of course Fluttershy!"
"If you don't mind, I'm bearing my soul here!"
"We're listening!" Twilight yelled, "Get on with it!"
"Thank you! Now, when I was a poor youth, the other unicorns used to bully me mercilessly. They would laugh at my hair. Nobody would befriend me because of my awkwardness and clumsiness. It had nothing at all to do with the fact that I ignored and neglected everyone…"
"Ooooh boy," Apple Jack moaned, "This is really gonna take a while..."
Pinkie broke open another wall and picked up a bag of popcorn.
And now for a very brief summery of the boring and self-indulgent origin story of Twilight Eclipse-
Eclipse is a big doofus. He tried to get into Princess Celestia's school for gifted unicorns but made a complete balls of his entrance exams, which, as with Twilight Sparkle, involved hatching a dragon egg, so in a desperate attempt to get into the school, he went to the mountain where the eggs were laid, tried to steal one from the mother dragon but was caught and smashed into a bloody pulp by the big purple father dragon and then found by a kindly passing vegetarian vampony who bit him, to ease the painful death. Eclipse then started hanging out with other vamponies; he mixed with the wrong crowd and joined team Dracallion in order to pull chicks.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•·•
"Are you done yet?" Twilight popped the question, hoping that he really was finished this time, instead of just stopping for air. After all, it was a pretty long story.
"Yes. That's the story of my whole life up until today."
"Good." She said with a smile. "Okay Spike, you can to trash him now."
"Alright! I'll teach you to steal my lines!"
Eclipse's horn sparkled and the scythe snapped up violently.
"Not this time! I have prepared in advance!"
Bones began to circle around. Large bones. They formed the skeleton of a huge serpent. It gave a frightening screech and coiled menacingly. It pounced, smashing Spike through the wall.
Apple Jack ran after the bone snake. Twilight shot a bolt of magic light at Eclipse who sliced through it with his scythe. Rarity spotted a rapier on the wall (it's a castle. They've always got swords on the wall) and grabbed it with her magic. The sword clanged against the scythe's pole. Both unicorns's swung their weapons so fast that it sounded like a crazy drum solo. Rarity's horn crackled and swung her blade in a whirlwind of steel.
The bone snake lashed at Spike. The dragon grabbed the top of the serpent's mouth to stop it from closing on him. He began straining to stop the jaws from crushing him. Apple Jack and Pinkie kicked the snake everywhere possible. It reeled with a frightening cry and Spike jumped down.
Twilight seized the other rapier from the wall and went for Eclipse. The only way to stop the skeleton serpent was to cut off the source of the magic controlling the bones. Twilight and Rarity's swords flew against Eclipse's scythe in a rapid flurry of swings. Finally, Eclipse slammed his scythe downwards, pinning the girls' swords to the floor. He laughed triumphantly.
Then Rarity hopped up and punched him in the face.
The snake began to collapse. His focus was gone!
Then his horn flashed red. The serpent came back to life. It slammed right past Spike and the others. It made a bee-line for the unicorns. It opened its jaw and pulled its head back. Rarity screamed in horror. Twilight was frozen on the spot. The snake was about to strike!
All of a sudden the crash of a breaking window drew everyone's attention. There, hovering above broken glass fragments was Rainbow Dash. On the end of her hoof, she held a plain, uninteresting and really pissed off pony.
"Sulky!" Eclipse cried.
"That's right, dweeb! The only pony in the world that's actually desperate enough to give your ego the stroking that it's so desperate for!"
"If you don't let me go I'll…!"
"You'll do what? Scream at me? It didn't work on the way back here!"
Rainbow's eyes locked with Eclipse's. His mouth opened and closed rapidly. The words just wouldn't come out. Rainbow grinned at him.
"This is why bad guys never have girlfriends. Because you never know when some lunatic anti-hero is going to turn the tables and force you to make the sadistic choice for once. Now leave my friends alone and maybe I'll let this idiot live."
"You wouldn't dare! You're supposed to be the good guy! Heroes don't take hostages!"
Rainbow just laughed. She lowered her head.
"You're right. Heroes don't take hostages. They always play fair and never use dirty tricks to win. But, there's one problem teeny weenie little problem with that theory."
She looked up at him again. Her smile was one of complete malevolence.
"I don't remember ever calling myself a hero".
She let go. Sulky vanished from sight with a blood curdling scream.
"Okay, I did introduce myself as an anti-hero, but that's different from a clean cut hero, so it doesn't exactly couunt."
Eclipse dropped his weapons and ran towards the window. As he jumped out, he screamed a "no" so loud and long that to show it in text would take a thousand capital "O"s.
His horn made him more aerodynamic, so he caught up to sulky and wrapped as much of his body around her as possible. He crashed through tree branch after tree branch and landed in the mud with a very heavy splat.
Without Eclipse's magic, the bones clunked down, completely lifeless.
The seven heroes looked down out the window. Sulky was frantically trying to slap Eclipse back to consciousness. Rainbow in particular was feeling very smug. She turned to face the others.
"See guys! I can be smart too, when I have to be!"
Pinkie broke the silence by jumping at Rainbow with a loud squeal and giving her a hug so tight that she almost pulled a muscle.
"Dashie! You came back!"
""Duh! Is the sky blue? Is water wet?"
Twilight, equally happy that Rainbow was back, spoke next.
"But you said…!"
"All I said was that your plan wasn't going to work! Apple Bloom needs our help and I'm sure not gonna leave her hanging. The bad guys aren't going to fight fair, so there's no reason we should!"
With that said, the seven comrades prepared to resume the rescue mission. But before they went on their way there was one thing that need to be said.
"Hey, um, Rainbow."
The blue Pegasus turned in the direction of the voice. Apple Jack's cheeks had a rosy glow about them.
"Rainbow, I…I'm sorry."
"Meh. It's cool."
"So it's not. I jumped to the wrong conclusion and called you a coward. Even though you're probably the bravest pony I've ever known…"
"Ah come on! Now you're starting to sound like one of Twilight's homework assignments! Dear Princess Celestia. Today, I learned an important lesion about trust, friendship and jumping to conclusions!"
They both had a good laugh about that.
Finally reconciled, the seven stood at the base of a long stairway. At the top, was the chamber where the ceremony was to take place. Time was running out. The seven made their way up to the tower and the final battle.
Lightning flashed and the mighty thunder shook the castle ruins. The thunder of hooves and the blur of horses were like a moonlit racing derby. The wide doors of the tower came into view and they increased their speed. They hit the door with a powerful crash and broke it down.
They gasped at what they saw.
Apple Bloom was trapped in a large blue crystal, suspended above a huge coffin.
"It's over Fallen!" Twilight yelled "Let the kid go!"
"It's too late! I've already made the incantation and now there's no way to stop it!" Fallen yelled, turning to face them.
Eclipse entered through the window, carrying Sulky over his back and panted like a dehydrated dog in the dessert.
"How'd you get back up here so fast?" Pinkie asked.
"Ha!" panted the fop, running his hoof through his pompadour, "When you're a vampony, there's usually an easier way to deal with afterlife's problems, like turning into a bat for example."
Apple Jack lost patience
"You bastards let her go or Celestia help me…!"
"Oh what are you complaining about?" Sulky snapped, "So the brat's stuck in a big crystal and probably suffocating! Big deal! I broke a nail during that fall you threw me into!"
Apple Jack pounced with a scream and slammed Sulky hard into the wall. Eclipse went to her aid and was cut off by Rainbow Dash.
Before you could say "Ready? Fight!" The crystal began to glow, with a blinding light.
"At last!" Eclipse cried, standing on his hind legs, "the ritual is complete! The lord of darkness has returned! The vamponies shall rule the night! Count Dracalion lives!" he swung his arms and threw his head back in hysterical laughter as the light filled the entire room and a second deeper laugh joined in.
The smoke cleared and there he stood. With the wings of a terrible dragon and a horn as sharp as a snake's tooth, Count Dracalion observed all around him.
"I live." He said in a high but mellow voice. "I Dracalion have returned."
Everyone just blinked.
It was Pinkie who broke the silence.
"You're the Big Bad Dracalion? The grand Pooh-Bah?"
Dracalion let out an amused snigger.
"You are correct my dear. Does my presence frighten you?"
"Nah. I just thought you'd be, well…"
He laughed some more as he looked up at the pink filly.
"You thought I'd be ugly? I will admit that the years have been rather unkind to my ashes, but the blood of the virgin sacrifice usually helps me to appear refreshed. Not bad for someone centuries old."
"Actually, I was going to say I just thought you'd be, you know, taller."
Dracalion stared.
"…taller…?"
Then he realised that he had spent the entire conversation looking up at the ponies. He was supposed to be towering above them. He turned to increasingly jittery Fallen and measured where his head came up to Fallen's knees. Then he looked at his hooves. Bright yellow.
"You idiots!" he screamed "That wasn't the blood ritual! You but my soul into the scarifies body!"
Apple Jack made her move and pounced at Dracalion.
"Get outta my sister before I beat you out!"
"Master!" cried Fallen and Eclipse. They made a move to jump Apple Jack, but Spike leaped in front on them and hissed, on all fours.
"Not a good idea…"
Both vamponies back away. Twilight and Rarity stood with Spike, their horns glowing threateningly at the villains while the others went to help Apple Jack hold the laughably miniature Dracalion down. Twilight opened the bottle of purifier and poured it all over the small vamponie, who was thrashing about wildly.
"I knew I should have done the ritual instead of you!" Eclipse moaned "Take a virgin, slit her throat and pour the blood over the ashes. What the hell was so hard about that?"
"Yes!" Sulky joined in "What one of those three steps was so hard for you to get your retarded little brain around?"
"Well…I couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt that child…so I figured that if I used a different incantation that would make everyone happy…"
Sulky gave a cry and rolled her eyes.
"You are such a dumbass! My philosophy is; make sure your own needs are met and screw the rest of the world. It's worked for me so far."
"Okay." Said Fallen.
Then he slit her throat with his wing, picked her up and threw her into the coffin.
Eclipse stood with his jaw open.
Then he screamed like a little girl.
"What in the name of Satin's Portion?"
Smoke filled the room, emanating from the coffin. Thunder and lightning roared and flashed.
There on standing on the pedestal with a huge horse with a horn like a snake's tooth and the wings of a fierce dragon.
"Much better." He said.
The seven goodies looked on. A moan from behind them attracted their attention.
Apple Bloom was coming around.
"Jackie…"
"Thank Celestia." Apple Jack whispered, folding little pony into her forelegs.
"Very touching." Said Dracalion. His voice was deep and smooth. "And now, I'm afraid that you seven are in my way. Once you are dealt with, Equestria will be returned to eternal darkness."
Twilight stepped forward. Her face showed no fear.
"Spike." She said "Take Apple Bloom home."
"But what about you guys?"
"We'll be fine. These guys may know a few magic tricks, but I know a better one."
"Okay. Come on, Bloom."
Spike led Apple Bloom through the door and the six fillies covered his exit.
Twilight stepped forward.
"You're about to be shown the door, old man. You don't belong in this world and you never will."
It is true. Count Dracula may be a master of disguise who can fit in almost anywhere, but he would look very out of place a colourful world inhabited by talking cartoon horses. Care Bears would be less out of place in a Sonic the Hedgehog game.
"Ha." Dracalion smirked "It is you very equines who keep calling me back. The powers of darkness grow due to the darkness in your souls. Wrath, anger, greed, deceit, selfishness. These elements exist in the harts of all living creatures."
Twilight just shrugged.
"You're right. We never learn. Maybe someday we will, but in the meantime, I'll see your wrath, anger, greed, deceit and selfishness and raise you a lethal helping of kindness, laughter, generosity, honesty and loyalty. Ready Girls?"
"Damn right!"
Twilight's horn filled the room with a blinding light and the others began to glow.
Fluttershy's eyes shot open.
"Benignities!"*
A gold necklace snapped around her neck, adjourned with a crystal butterfly, exactly the same as the three that formed her cutie mark.
Pinkie followed suit.
"Rideo!"
Then Rarity.
"Liberalities!"
Then Apple Jack.
"Probitas!"
And finally Rainbow Dash.
"Fides!"
The six then spoke in unison.
"When these five elements are united, a spark will ignite the sixth."
Then Twilights glowing eyes opened.
"Amicitia Est Veneficus!"**
The whole area was filled with light and when it died down, Twilight's head was adorned with a crown. The bearers of Harmony stood firm.
Eclipse, meanwhile was messing around in the coffin. Sulky was still alive but fading fast. Thankfully, he had time to act; giving that it was a rather lengthy transformation sequence that our heroines were performing.
"I know you had your whole life ahead of you Sulky, but for the sake of us being together, I must bite you. I want to bite you sulky. I'll be gentle I promise. If you love me, you'll let me."
Sulky couldn't speak (hurray!) but she could mouth (Drat). Eclipse's lip ready skills were a bit shoddy but he could make out- "Just fucking bite me, you fucking undead moron."
The battle began with hoof thundering like a cattle drive. Fallen took a dive at Fluttershy who jumped back and slammed her wings down at his sides. With a yelp he flopped to the floor and Rainbow jumped on his back.
Apple Jack tackled Eclipse hand and fast, sending him crashing into the wall where Rarity was waiting with a bolt of unicorn magic to set his hair on fire.
Sulky faced off against Pinkie.
"Look at me! I now have the powers of a vampony!"
Pinkie just stood with a smile.
"Is that supposed to impress people?"
"Of course it is! I now have super strength and can turn into a bat and drink blood! How can you not be impressed?"
"Because you try too hard. You're so busy trying to be special you forget all the good things in your life."
Sulky lunged at Pinkie with her fangs ready to sink in. She hit the wall. Pinkie was behind her.
"You've blow me off every time I tried to be your friend, but you didn't think I was 'special' enough to give the time of day. No pony was!"
"That's not true! Eclipse is special! It's just that I'm the only one who could see it!"
"Why is he so special?"
"He sparkles!"
"You decide that he was worth taking the time to befriend, just because he sparkles? You're judging by outward appearances. That is soshallow!"
"Shut up!" Sulky screamed, diving at Pinkie again. She fell flat on her face as Pinkie dodged again.
"You know, you make me laugh, Sulky. But that's only because I think you're kind of pathetic."
Twilight dashed right at Dracalion and dived at him. He turned and landed on top of her. His teeth just about poked her flesh when her horn powered up. She roared and a shock wave came from her body throwing Dracalion clean off. If not for the crown of harmony's magical protection, she would have been completely helpless. He jabbed at her with his horn and she parried with hers. They continued to parry like angry fencers. Dracalion turned and back-kicked Twilight, knocking her into the wall.
"I'm finished playing wench! The game is over and I have won!" he reeled onto his hind legs ready to crush her to death.
"I don't think so!"
With a final grunt she charged forward and thrust her horn straight into Dracalion's chest. He roared in agony. Twilight had hit her target- his heart.
"Rainbow! AJ! Do it now!"
Rainbow Dash rocketed towards the vampony and sliced her wing clear through his throat. He stumbled back, reeling in agony as blood poured from his neck.
Apple Jack ran up to him turn and pounded her hind legs into his head so hard that his head shot clean off and flew out the window. Flailing about with blood pouring everywhere, his body crumbled and turned to dust.
Everything stopped. Dracalion was out of the fight and the vamponies were outnumbered two-to-one.
"Well, it looks like you posers have a choice to make." Said Twilight, "Get out of Ponyville or stay and get your assess handed to you. Take your pick."
"Oh please stay!" said Rainbow, "We haven't shown just how powerful our Rainbow of Light trick really is!"
Eclipse sighed. "We might as well leave. We won't get another chance to resurrect him for another one hundred years."
"I was getting tired of being an evildoer myself." Said Fallen "Ever since that Zebra gave me my soul back it just doesn't feel right."
The three vamponies headed towards the window. Fluttershy stepped forwards. Fallen turned to face her. Her eyes burned into him like oak steaks.
"If you ever let me catch you causing trouble here again, I promise that I'll send you straight back to hell, where you belong."
He turned whiter than most vampires are capable of being. Fluttershy may have had the voice of an angel but those eyes told fallen that she meant every word. The three frightened vamponies flew out the window, never to step hoof in Ponyville again.
The battle was over. The menace had past. The bearers of Harmony left the castle and caught up with Spike. As they looked back at the castle, Twilight had no idea that she had an even bigger problem brewing.
•·•·•·•·•·•·•
* To make the summoning of the Elements of Harmony look a bit more magical, our heroes are calling out the names of their elements in Latin.
Benignities- Kindness
Rideo- Laughter
Liberalita- Generosity
Probitas- Honesty
Fides- Loyalty
** The final line of the morphing sequence "Amicitia Est Veneficus" translates to "Friendship Is Magic".
Days past. Apple Bloom had taken to always wearing a cross around her neck. Aside from always carrying a pot of powdered garlic around with her, she had almost fully recovered from the trauma. But the effects of the battle were still lingering in a certain filly.
Twilight entered the library.
"Hey Twilight." Said Spike "Did Zecora have a cure."
She sighed.
"I'm afraid not Spike. She doesn't even know how to make one. Take a letter, please."
He got the stuff out.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
It is with the deepest regret that I must request a leave of absence. The battle with Dracalion and the wounds he inflicted upon me have left…"
She paused all of a sudden. She stood motionless, frozen in her dictating posture, with her mouth between words.
"What a horrible night to have a curse."
"Some very unusual side effects on me. Every five minutes my body freezes over and Dracalion's voice says that it's a horrible night to have a curse. I will need time to discover a means to rid myself of this problem.
Best wishes, Twilight Sparkle."
Spike breathed his teleportation fire and the parchment vanished in the twinkling of an eye.
"Come on, Spike. It's time to go."
The two went towards the back garden. Spike hauled the basket out of the wooden shed and dragged the huge canvass of the balloon out.
"So where exactly are we going?"
"I think the best place to start would be Ponyvania itself. But I sure hope a cure exists. My back just hurts so much…"
"What a horrible night to have a curse."
"…not to mention how annoying that voice is!"
"I'll say. I hardly slept a wink last night with Mr Creepy Saddle ringing in my ear every five minutes."
"In that case, first thing to do when we get there is buy some ear plugs."
"Took you long enough to think of that, Twi..."
When the preparations were complete, Spike blasted out a jet of normal fire. The sort he uses for self defence and/or roasting marshmallows. The hot hair inflated Twilight's Twinkling Balloon and they rose into the heavens.
Spike burped out a letter.
"It must be from the Princess." Said Twilight. Spike was going to point out that it was a bit of a no brainier. Nobody else ever sent her letters that way. Her friends in Ponyville didn't have any dragons of their own to act as fax machines and even her parents preferred messenger pigeons to D-Mail. But he was interrupted by, another chorus of "What a horrible night to have a curse."
So he unrolled the letter and read it.
Then he stared.
Then he laughed. It was the laugh of someone who thought their cat had fowled their apple pie, but it turned out to be a very large blackcurrant.
"Listen to this! Dear Twilight. I am familiar with the curse you have described and I am happy to inform you that there is indeed a cure. First, you must bring me the ashes that form Dracalion's rib and bring them to me in Canterlot. I will perform the purification ritual myself. I look forward to seeing you soon. H.R.H Princess Celestia of Equestria."
Twilight was so happy that it took what little of her self control that remained to resist jumping all over the place. She contented herself with hopping up and down in place.
She grabbed the control stick and turned the balloon in the direction of the Old Princess Castle. In the glow of the morning sun, it was beautiful. Twilight's eyes danced as the sun caught her lavender hair.
"Come on Spike! Let's go and prosses Dracalion's rib!"
"Don't you mean, posses his rib?"
"I know what I meant Spike…" she said through gritted teeth.
The End.
You have played the greatest part in this fanfic (Well, actually, Twilight did since she had the most spotlight, but thanks for reading all the same)!
