Happiness & Joy
I sit here at my desk…
...alone.
As the candlelight illuminates my study, a quill floats a mere inch from my paper. Sitting here in distress, I can’t seem to write anything down. Is this a case of writer’s block? I don’t know, but something has clearly stopped me from writing. Could it be that I’m just stuck on my own thoughts?
I mean, it’s a possibility. With all these ideas running through my head, it was hard to try and articulate words into a proper and easy to read sentence. It’s not a quick process, otherwise I wouldn’t even be holding up this quill anymore. So, yeah, maybe that’s my problem.
…
I’m... I’m still stuck.
As the quill floats, my head hits the desk in front of me. The candle burned out. For a second, it was pitch black in my room. Using my magic, I relit the candle before lifting the quill back into the air. Somehow, as others would call this a miracle, something came to mind. It’s an idea! Yes!
I wasted no time writing down the first words to a poem.
The summer once brought me such life I’ve never known before.
I stopped. I lifted the quill from the paper, glossing over my words. “Summer” seemed to stand out to me. Why did I write down the word “Summer?” My eyes grew wide before I bowed my head in sorrow. It had hit me.
Oh... That was Velvet’s favorite season.
Within its warmth and joy, one could find happiness in a meadow of daisies.
When I met her, my cold heart melted from the mare’s warm touch. I placed my hoof on my chest. Somehow, someway, that lady managed to reignite a fire of passion and love within me. She taught me how to smile once more and enjoy the simple things in life.
Her favorite spot was a little bit beyond Ponyville City Limits. It was within a valley, a small meadow with patches of flowers and a large oak tree. Almost every weekend, she and I would escape the hustle and bustle of city life by visiting the site. Once we arrived, we would play in the daisies, run around like wild horses, and then rest beside each other underneath the tree. To this day, you could still see our initials carved into the trunk. “VR” for Velvet Rose and “PN” for me, Pen Name.
However, summer doesn’t last for as long as any pony wishes it could.
Sometimes, they yearn for a chance to see it another day.
Velvet had a full-time job in Manehattan while I was still stuck in Ponyville. This caused us to say so many “goodbyes,” followed by a “see ya’ soon.” At first, we could handle saying those words since our relationship was young and new. However, once our love started to grow for each other as time went on, those words became harder and harder to say.
Then we had to play the waiting game.
There came a point in our lives where we were counting down the days to our meet-ups. In some weird way, it seemed to excite us both! Ten days would then turn into five, followed by two until one day was left. Next thing I knew, I got a letter from her saying she was on a train coming to see me.
One shouldn’t be so foolish though.
If you wish for something to happen, then you should be prepared for it not to be granted.
I withdrew the quill once more from the page, shaking it in midair. Rage suddenly consumed my mind as I slammed a hoof against the desk in agony. “Gah!” I screamed, remembering what happened on the day.
When I saw her step off the train, a smile wasn’t worn across her face. Not a single emotion was emitted from her. To me, she seemed almost lifeless. I had to wonder, What has gotten into her? What is so powerful that it can take away the joy from somepony who beams happiness?
To which, one must always know that summer must end.
Winter is coming soon, but that’s right after Fall.
Out of nowhere, she broke up with me. Velvet ended our six-month-old relationship right then and there at the Ponyville train station. We were done. The few months we spent together were now meaningless. I was stunned and left motionless, completely and overwhelmingly baffled by her act. I didn’t understand this sudden, drastic change.
Velvet sincerely apologized for her actions, telling me the breakup wasn’t my fault. Instead, she blamed it on herself and work. To her, the problem was the distance between us. She couldn’t handle being so far away from me, to which she then decided it’s best to let go of her pain rather than change her entire life around. With her situation as it is, she couldn’t afford leaving behind the city to come and be with me.
Just like leaves, you will shift and sway in every direction as you fall.
The wind is now your guide, and you can’t fight against it.
I begged and pleaded for Velvet to change her mind, however she was already dead set on her choice. Even if I was to somehow work it out with her, there was nothing I could say or do to change her mind. The decision was final.
As a goodbye, she kissed me before boarding the train back to Manehattan. I just stood there in pity, trying to hold back the tears as I waved goodbye to her for the last time. There she went, and I wasn’t chasing her down like I should have done. I guess my emotions prevented me from doing so.
Once you’ve finally settled down, the cold grasp of winter comes bellowing in.
You’re left with no choice. You must be covered by its bitterness.
I went home and cried for hours on end. I didn’t know what else I could do except let myself sob and complain over the loss of my own joy and love. My Velvet was as sweet as an apple, kind as an angel, and more loving than a mother to her child. She showed me how to care and be happy, but now I guess I need to show myself how to grieve and get over her.
Otherwise, how you will ever know it’s over?
How will you know the warmth of spring if you hide underneath the leaves?
It took me a little while to move on from the pain, but not over the memory of her. To this day, she’s still there, in my mind. However, I now do best of what I can with the thought of her. Instead of letting it turn against me in sorrow, I think about her happiness and what she did to make me smile. That way, I could never think about her with the bitterness of that day clouding my thoughts.
...
I crack a smile.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure that’s what she’s done with her memories of me.
So, embrace the bitterness.
That way, you can once again enjoy the warmth of happiness.