To Forgive, Divine
The train whistle blew, and the doors flung open, dozens of ponies flooding out of the Friendship Express and stepping onto the Canterlot Platform. Among those ponies was an amber unicorn, trying to stay hidden and blend into the crowd. Not that it mattered; there wasn’t a single pony here that would know her.
There were barely any ponies in all of Equestria that would know who she was. An amber unicorn, her mane and tail brilliant yellow and vivid crimson. She was a nopony here, just another face that one would see while rushing home from work or from the store.
She trotted carefully out onto the lamp-lit streets of Canterlot, looking up and seeing the moon shining above, the stars forming the patterns of constellations. She couldn’t identify a single one anymore. They had all changed when Princess Luna returned to join her sister Celestia on the throne.
Thoughts of the diarchs gave her pause, ponies passing by her like she didn’t exist and wasn’t taking up the street. One of them was why she was here in Canterlot, and not at home, talking to her friends.
Each of her friends tried to confront her one at a time, to try and convince her to take them along or even stop her from going. She had to go alone though, because they almost all thought she was going to speak to Celestia. She had something more personal to attend to than a pony that had already said her part.
“I don’t like it one bit!” Applejack had yelled at her. “You think you can just pop in, say a few words and head out? They won’t let you! Not without us backing you up, sugarcube. You need us there.”
“I can’t risk any of you getting hurt,” she had replied. “Equestria isn’t like here. There are more dangers just on a walk between Ponyville and Canterlot than we’ve ever faced here. I have to protect you.”
“All the more reason to take all of us with you.” Applejack looked at her somberly. “But you’re not going to. I know that look on your face. So all I ask is you don’t let them hurt you. I will never forgive you or myself if something happens.”
“I’ll be fine, Applejack.”
“You had better be. You know what you mean to all of us.”
She tried to stop the single tear from rolling down her face, but couldn’t, so she let it go. “I know what I mean to you, AJ. What you mean to me.”
A pony bumped into her, jostling her from her thoughts, and she gave a soft “Sorry,” to him. She began trotting again, moving closer to her destination and continuing to remember what felt so long ago, but was only a few hours at most.
“I’ll come with you!” Rainbow Dash said excitedly. “You’ll just need one friend to back you up, like a trip to the principal's office, right?”
“Rainbow, you can’t come with me.”
“Well I can’t let you go alone! What kind of friend would I be if something happened to you over there? You and Twilight have told us yourselves, Equestria isn’t a place for humans.” Rainbow flexed her arm, smiling. “I can protect you from any crazy horses.”
She had shook her head, fighting back tears as she responded to that statement. “ I am not all human, though. My life before now is back there, and you know exactly who I have to speak to over there.”
Rainbow sighed, and relented. “Come back in one piece, alright? I’ll beat up whoever lays a single finger on you. That’s my promise as your and Applejack’s friend.”
She giggled lightly at that. “It’s a good thing ponies have hooves then.” She walked away, leaving Rainbow to puzzle over that fact.
“Stupid Rainbow Dash. But you are the only one to know both truths.”
The Royal Palace was closer now. She passed by a building, closed now with the moon up, a sign that read ‘Canterlot Carousel’ hanging from it.
“You can’t be serious, darling.” Rarity shook her head, frowning heavily as she leaned back in her seat. “I thought you were over it at this point?”
“I might feel like I’m over it, but I’m always going to want that closure from someone over there.”
“It’s been what, twenty years in Equestria? And that’s before Twilight synced our worlds times up. It’s been a year since that event too.”
“It’s been so much less time for me here, Rarity. I need to go and speak to that person on the other side.”
“Twilight said you were Celestia’s student before Twilight herself was chosen. That is a long time to be forgiven already. You don’t need to hear it from her, if she even remembers you.”
“She does, Rarity. And I do have to hear it, alone.”
Rarity stared at her, and again shook her head. “I do not like it. But if I cannot talk you out of it, one of the more forceful girls will have to.”
“AJ and Dash already tried before I got to you. I’m sorry, Rarity.”
There were guards standing at the entrance, watching her as she approached. One of them, a unicorn, spoke to her. “State your business for approaching the Royal Palace after hours.”
She bit her lip. “I need to speak to the Princess.”
“The Princess has retired for the night already. You will have to return tomorrow.”
“Princess Luna is still up, is she not?” Her voice wobbled, and she felt scared. She wasn’t sure how common knowledge it was that Luna had returned, but the guard had already forced that out of her.
The guard narrowed his eyes. “The Princess Luna does not take visitors. Visiting hours are for Princess Celestia during the day only.”
The other guard, a pegasus, leaned into the conversation. “Isn’t she one of those Elements of Harmony? We should let her in.”
“She doesn’t look like any of the Elements to me.” The unicorn looked her over again.
“She’s like that shy one, isn’t she? The one we never really get a good look at? We were told she spoke soft and was always scared.” The pegasus stated.
The unicorn looked over at his companion, and then shrugged, opening the gate with his magic. “Fair enough. It’s coming out of your check if something happens.”
“Thank you.” She trotted in past the guards, but her mind was already someplace else.
“You’re going to be careful to not anyone or any animals, right?” Fluttershy was sitting on a bench outside the school, feeding some of the animals that followed her around.
She smiled. “Of course I won’t hurt anyone, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy smiled at her. “Good. I don’t want you to go away for a crime like that.” Fluttershy looked over to her, sharing the bench. “If you aren’t back soon, the girls and I will have to organize a rescue squad.”
“You think you could take on the Princesses?”
Fluttershy nodded, her face taking on a determined look. “If it’s to help you, Sunset, all six of us would move the moon ourselves.”
“Thank you, Fluttershy, for believing in our group's friendship that strongly.”
“I won’t let you down, Fluttershy.”
She trotted through the halls of the Royal Palace, the smells of the royal bakery traveling through her nostrils.
“You’re leaving?” Pinkie had none of her usual cheer in her voice, her hair straight down along her back.
“Only for a short while, two days at most.”
“Do you promise? I need you to Pinkie Promise me you’ll be back, and that I can throw you a huge party.”
She smiled. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Pinkie’s hair bounced back into its usual shape and form, and she regained her usual demeanor. “Okie dokie! I’ll hold you to it, or you’ll hear no end of it from me.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Pinkie.”
“I really wouldn’t. Thank you, Pinkie Pie.”
The castle was huge, but it had not changed in the years she was away. Its winding halls and long paths all had a way to lead right to the room she was searching for. And there it was. Only one guard stood in front of the entrance to the throne room.
“You’re going to ask the other me for help, right?” Twilight asked her. “You need someone to back you up, or some pony I guess.”
“I have to do this alone, Twilight. The other Twilight can get me as far as to Canterlot, but that’s it.”
Twilight bit her lip, shaking her head. “I can’t accept that. You need to take her. Take all of the other world’s versions of us. We don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I just can’t. This is going to be between me and her.”
Twilight’s eyes began to well. “Please just. Just come back to us, okay Sunset Shimmer? I don’t know if any of us could do all of this without you still here alongside us.”
As the last memory of her friends passed through her mind, she gained her strength. “I will be back, Twilight.”
She walked up to the door, the single guard looking her over. “Who are you and what are you doing here? The Royal Palace is closed to visitors after the sun has set.”
“My name is Sunset Shimmer.” She stood tall, taller than she ever had before, as the door opened behind the guard. “I am here to speak to the Princess.”
The guard glared at her, having not noticed the door open. “The Princess will not see you.”
“The Princess will see her.” The guard quickly jumped out of the way, as Princess Luna stepped out of the throne room. “Come inside with me. Guard, do not enter.”
Sunset followed Luna in, the guard closing the door behind them. Luna went all the way to the throne that her sister usually occupied, while Sunset stood at the foot of the stairs, waiting to be addressed.
They sat in silence for several minutes, until finally, Luna said something. “You are a brave pony to show your face here, Sunset Shimmer. After everything you’ve done to harm my sister and her student.” Luna glared down at her. “Even though they both have forgiven you, I have not.”
Sunset gulped. That was how she was fearing this would go, but she had hoped it might not. “Princess, please, may I explain?”
“What, pray tell, can you explain? Look at yourself.” Luna’s glare did not falter, and it bore right into Sunset’s heart, forcing her to look down at her own hooves. “There is no pony in our kingdom named Sunset Shimmer. You may wear her fur, you may share her face, but the student my sister cared for is dead.”
Sunset shook her head, lifting one of her hooves up and staring at it. Was that true? The Sunset Shimmer that Celestia trained as her student was gone. But, there was a better pony in her place, wasn’t there? “Princess. I think I understand, but please, let me speak my part.”
“You will do no such thing until I am done.” Luna’s cold stare still did not budge, her voice turning icy. “You do not understand. You will never understand.”
“Make me understand then!” Sunset felt the tears begin to drip from her eyes and down onto the carpet. “What is it that I have done that my friends can forgive me, Twilight can forgive, even Celestia can forgive me, but you can’t?”
“Your friends barely understand there is another world. Twilight doesn’t know of your heritage. Celestia never thought it important beyond a single task she planned out.” Luna finally looked away from Starlight, and out the window. “I have trouble forgiving Tia for it, and she does not even know.”
“For what? What is it?” Sunset shook her head, her tears flying to each side of her. “You were Nightmare Moon, trapped in the sky for a thousand years! Yet you forgave Celestia for that! You forgave yourself for that! So what is so important that you can’t forgive me or your own sister for, yet you could forgive that?”
Luna’s head turned slowly, away from the window and back towards Sunset. The tears falling off the Princess’ face gave Sunset’s next words pause. “I shall not tell you.”
Sunset felt her eye twitch, her face turning red with anger. “Then why don't you just forgive me!” It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t quite a demand either. It carried all of Sunset’s emotions, and it was all she could do to remind herself that the pony in front of her was royalty; she wanted to just run up and punch the lunar monarch. “You can’t just hide your reasoning after that!”
“I can do as I please. I always did. Even over a thousand years ago. Even longer ago than that.” Luna’s statements were said to Sunset, but they were not directed at her. They were directed at the air around her, at memories long past. “I can’t betray his memory. I will not hurt his kin.”
“His memory? Whose kin?” Sunset was sure Luna hadn’t meant to speak those words aloud, but she had, and Sunset wanted answers.
Luna closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. “My little pony. You have already heard more than I wished to have said. But I suppose I will now press on, even if you would live better having stayed in the dark. Do you know the name Star Swirl the Bearded?” Her voice was full of emotion, and carried the weight of time.
Sunset nodded, carefully choosing her next words. “I do, Princess. His magic is the reason I have a place to call home, across the mirror.”
Luna smiled, though it looked pained, as she opened her eyes again. “But are you aware of all that he did?”
“I am not, Princess.”
“Then let me tell you a story, Sunset Shimmer. A short story about Star Swirl, a crowned Princess, and what happens when you try to mess with fate.”
A not-as-young-as-she-looked dark blue alicorn bounded up a hill far below the growing city of Canterlot, pausing just underneath the lone tree and watching as the sun fell and the moon rose slowly into the sky overhead. “Did you see that? Tia managed to put the sun down and raise the moon!”
A short, low laugh came from the bluish gray unicorn behind her as he crested the hill. “She did, Lulu. You passed that lesson on rather well to her.”
Luna grinned, moving back to nuzzle the stallion. “She’ll get better at it as she goes, I’m sure! After all, you helped teach me, Starry, and you know how good I’ve gotten at it.”
Starry, or as his true name was, Star Swirl, nodded slightly. “I suppose that is true. Will you be learning her duty next?”
She looked back at him questioningly. “Why would I need to do that?”
He shrugged. “Simply in case either of you ever need to perform the others duty. Is that not why you were so insistent on teaching Celestia how to deal with the moon?”
“Oh Starry, that’s not why.” Luna shook her head, giving him a small kiss that made them both blush and smile. “It’s because soon, she’ll be the only one doing both.”
Star Swirl’s smile vanished instantly. “Lulu, what do you mean by that?”
She sighed, pulling away and looking him in the eyes. “I want to be with you, Starry. All this princess stuff, ruling the three tribes, you did it before. Don’t you want a break away from it?”
He frowned, sighing. “I was not planning on taking a break, no. There’s too much that still needs doing.”
Luna blinked. “Not at all? But you’ve done so much already! You deserve to retire and live out your life. And I want to be with you during that.”
Star Swirl chuckled softly. “I am sorry, Lulu. My life is to be here until I grow old. I cannot just abandon those looking up to me.”
“But what about for me, Starry?” Luna shook her head, stomping a hoof. “I don’t want to do this for forever. I want to go away, be with you, do things a normal pony does. Tia can rule on her own, she doesn’t need you or me!”
“Your sister needs us both more than you think, Luna.” He put emphasis on her name, choosing to use it over her pet name. “Why can we not simply be together in Canterlot?”
Luna raised her voice, but only by a little. “I don’t want to be in Canterlot! I want to go elsewhere! I want to visit the Crystal Empire, and the griffons, and the dragons! I want to adventure around the world with you, Starry!”
He sighed heavily, his entire body sagging. “We cannot do that, Lulu. Our fate is here, in Canterlot, at your sister’s side. Mine until I perish, yours for life.”
“I don’t care about fate! I care about you and me, Starry! Why are you so stubborn?” She buried her head in his chest, trying to hide her tears. “Why are you saying no?”
“Lulu. Fate cannot be fought. It is what our cutie marks symbolize: our destinies. They cannot be changed more than the cycle of day and night be changed.”
“Then find a way!” She pushed herself off of him, turning away and clenching her teeth. “Find a way to change fate! Or I will find a way to change the cycle of the sun and moon!”
He shook his head. “I cannot do that. You speak of things that could ruin the world, Lulu. I do not want to see you hurt and blamed for what you ask me to do.”
Luna sniffled, her body shaking, her words like venom in her own mouth. “Star Swirl. You are dismissed.”
Star Swirl sighed heavily, and lowered his head, speaking softly and with a tinge of hurt. “...Princess Luna.”
She heard him leave her, and there she stayed for several hours, staring up at the moon and crying. Her moon. Her fate.
“I saw him around the castle for many years after that, but we never returned to as we were. I became obsessed over both ponies ignorance of the night, and my own words began to gnaw at my mind. I tried to find a way to change the cycle of the day. I had to be with him. But eventually the nightmare consumed me, and I had to banished. I never got to say goodbye.”
“Princess.” Sunset had no more words to say. She couldn’t say them if she wanted. It was a short, heart-wrenching story, and while it did not answer her question yet, it was likely to lead into an explanation soon.
“I came back after a thousand years. I learned he did try.” Luna looked back out the window, in the direction of Ponyville. “He tried to make a spell that could change destinies.”
“And that’s how Twilight ascended. She solved the spell he tried to make for you.” Sunset’s head was spinning. The Princess would not lie, but there was still more missing.
Luna nodded somberly, fighting to keep her voice calm. “The spell to change destinies wasn’t to change destinies at all. It was to bind friends together. It was meant to bind him and I together. But we could not be, as I was gone, and then he was gone. His work laid undone, and there was no reason to finish it.” Luna paused, looking back down at Sunset. “Though, Celestia kept with his other spells. Do you know why?”
Sunset looked down at herself again, her mind slowly unraveling the mystery set before her. “He left descendants.”
Luna’s eyes sparkled as she nodded again. “He left descendants. He could not be with me again, but his family, through the generations, might eventually be. Celestia thought one of them was to finish his spell. You.”
Sunset’s entire body convulsed once, her mind racing. “So that’s why you said Celestia knows.”
“Celestia knew that you are the last of his line. She knew that he only doubled his efforts on that spell after I was banished. She hoped you would figure out his final spell.” Luna looked up at the ceiling, far above either pony. “She does not know that I was in love with him.”
Sunset shook more, more tears rising out of her eyes and falling to the ground. “So the reason why you were saying you can’t forgive me...”
“...is that with you gone, I thought I lost all ties to him for good. Even more when it was Twilight who figured out the truth behind the spell, with her true friendship. That felt like the final nail.”
Starlight felt herself hit the floor, her entire body rising and falling in time with her sobs. “Princess. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never knew.”
Sunset felt a large wing wrap around her. “Had this gone as I planned when I saw you in the hall, you would have left here without knowing.”
“So why?” Sunset choked out. “Why?”
Luna looked down at the sobbing form of Sunset. “You asked. And I lost myself to the memory. I had to tell you when I slipped.”
“What am I supposed to do knowing this?” Sunset shook her head, feeling an unknown anger joining her tears. “I can’t leave my friends in the other world. Knowing that my ancestor created the portal to that place does nothing to help me either.”
“That is why I wished you did not find out. I did not want to cause any conflict within you.”
“Then maybe you should have kept your mouth shut!” Sunset had no idea which feeling was overpowering the other at the moment. She just had to get all of it, her anger and sadness, out. “I’m a disgrace to you, that’s what it is! I’m the last of your first love’s line, and I’m not going to be continuing it. I’m going to go to my grave with the guilt that I died and took your only happiness with me!”
Luna tried to calmly regard the quivering mess she held close. “Even in the world of humans, a son or daughter of yours would still be a descendant of Star Swirl. They will always be welcome in Equestria.”
“That’s the thing! I’m not going to have a son or daughter!” Sunset tried to scramble away from Luna; get out of her grasp and run and hide as she spoke her next few words quietly. “There’s a girl.”
“A girl.” Luna’s voice held no emotion; she merely repeated the statement.
Sunset hid her face and nodded. “A girl. The human world isn’t like the pony world. There aren’t spells to let mare or stallion couples have children. I don’t know if those are still frowned upon here or not anyways.”
“I understand.” Sunset stopped struggling, confused, and looked up at Luna, seeing the Princess looking down at her with a small, but warm smile. “I did what I ended up doing for love, but it was not destined to be. Perhaps yours is.”
“You understand?” Sunset shook her head. “You just went on about how I wouldn’t understand your love, then you tell me all of this about Star Swirl, and now you get to say you understand mine?”
“I will not pretend to know why a mare or stallion would love another of their own gender. It is simply life.” Luna looked up again, a tear falling down onto Sunset. “But maybe, if your love is truly destined, they will be willing to come here to Equestria. You could introduce me.”
Sunset blinked back her own tears, her ears folding back, completely taken aback. “Princess?”
“You may not be willing to stay here, in Equestria, where I may keep you safe. And I would be overextending to call myself something akin to a godmother.” Luna’s smiled widened. “But I wish to be part of your life, Sunset. You are important to me. Perhaps, if you are willing to forgive me, I can call myself a friend at least?”
Sunset found herself wrapping her hooves around Luna, holding her close and burying her face into her chest. “I would be honored to call you my friend, Princess.”
Luna returned the hug, holding Sunset close as they both cried. “Please. You may call me Lulu.”