The Loneliness of Command
Luna was the younger sister of the kingdom’s matriarch, and both shared Royal duties for the benefit of their subjects. Times were good, people were happy and the sisters enjoyed the respect of their subjects, but few knew the role that the younger one played. Her public duties were few, her principal commitment being to officiate over Halloween ceremonies, but the dark symbolism of this period coupled with her infrequent public appearances cast a shroud over her true nature, leading people to hold her in awe and even fear her.
Although the people did not know it, Luna was attuned closely to nature and had studied hard to explore her empathy with all natural things, giving her powers that people would call magikal, if they but knew. However, magik was frowned upon, and once recognising that one of its key practitioners was a Royal Princess, fear would spread and instability ensue. Some could even feel inclined to charge her with witchcraft. Consequently, her abilities were a very closely guarded secret.
The reason for such peace and stability across the kingdom was due in part to her elder sister’s wisdom and charismatic personality, but equally to the younger sister’s diligence, for most nights she would perform “dream duties”. Everybody slept, at some time. And when they slept, they dreamed, even if they forget the instant they awoke. The dream state was sometimes the only safe refuge for those who suffered, but conversely also the only time when the strong or powerful had no choice but to lower their guard.
Luna had found that during periods of transcendental meditation she could enter a state that enabled her to access and observe peoples’ dreams, although it demanded a lot of concentration and was mentally draining. She would never seek to cause harm or lurk voyeuristically as the more lurid dreams ran their course; everyone had the right to privacy, but would instead flit from one dream to another, attentive to pick up the trail of feelings such as grief, loss and inadequacy as well as detecting more malevolent desires or scheming. Here she would wait and observe; to right wrongs, provide comfort and reinforce self-confidence in those where needed.
Sometimes, the weak minded victims of circumstance could feel forced to follow a path that would lead to their own and other peoples’ unhappiness, not necessarily born from a driving sense of malice, but sometimes because of misunderstanding or a desire to be held in misguided esteem by others. Here, she could cast dreams to show them how the misunderstandings had arisen, how they may truly appear to others, and how well things could turn out if they changed direction from the self-destructive course they may otherwise choose to take. If they still chose not to change course, then suddenly they may find themselves experiencing a run of unprecedented bad luck, thwarting their improper intentions. That was Luna’s hand.
Sometimes, she would intervene when someone was lonely and enter the dreams of a long lost friend, who would suddenly feel the urge to send a letter to renew that old acquaintance. When the letter fell on doormat the next morning and a friendship was restored, that was Luna’s hand too.
Since people worked and played by day, they slept at night, which meant that Luna’s work started when the sun went down and ended with next morning’s sunrise. As the wider world was pitched into greater peaks and troughs of instability, she had to work increasingly hard just to maintain equilibrium and was exhausted when she went to bed every morning. Such was her life.
In this way, she kept order and happiness thrived, but although she could see the results of her kind actions, nobody ever attributed any of it to her. In the minds of some of the more critical, she was a little cold and aloof, merely hanging off the coat-tails of her popular elder sister, which hurt her deeply. She was at once both the most loving and the most unloved of all the people in the kingdom.
She had known love; once. Before having to accept the heavy weight of regal responsibility, she had enjoyed the fulfilment of a young all-consuming romance. The world had been transformed into a beautiful and wondrous place, a playground of rich experiences in which the two of them could indulge themselves; caring little for the future or for the past, but living each moment in the present, focused on nothing but each other. That wondrous summer ran its course creating a library of delightful memories for the two of them to dip into, but reality hit home hard the day she had to leave behind this carefree existence and accept the yoke of leadership. She was young; she had to focus on the role that providence had claimed her for. She was directed that she no longer had the time to spend on her own pleasure, but must put the people in the kingdom before herself. In a flash, everything changed. She had been alone from that point all those years ago, not of choice, but of necessity; of duty. The responsibilities she would have to bear at once overflowed, extinguishing her desires, her wishes and her dreams as if they had been tied in a weighted bag and thrown into the sea. She had accepted this selfless new role and put her personal desires to one side, but for how long? Forever, she feared.
Both sisters had lost some large part of themselves in accepting their responsibilities, but neither spoke of it, each recognising the unsaid pain in the other. They were bound together by shared experience and loved each other, but this love had become more distant as they each shouldered their roles. They would meet at sunrise and sunset, each to tell the other what was happening in the outer and inner realms, preparing the other for what may await them in their turn. In times of difficulty, the elder sister would make herself seen at a variety of events at different and diverse venues providing a catalyst for happiness and contentment, but at a price. For as her popularity increased, that of her younger sister diminished. It was hard, and on those nights when she allowed herself to walk through woods and across fields, taking in the beauty of the land through a softer light, she would look up at the oft neglected myriad of stars twinkling in the sky and wish, oh how she wished to be able to share such moments with someone special. Once the morning meeting was concluded she would retire to her bed, only her sister recognising the true depth of her devotion and loving her in return; but the most they could do was to share a superficial kiss before each went their own way to attend their duties.
The Princess of the Darkness yearned to relive her happier days, the days of her dearest and most intimate memories. The image of a face still pervaded her dreams, the memory of the most wonderful, kind and passionate person she had ever known. In her dreams, they relived these happiest of moments together, over and over, forever, in a timeless loop. Once she awoke it all flew away once more, slipping through her desperate fingers. Forever intangible.
She awoke as the sun was nearing twilight, showered and performed the nightly list of preparations, rounding them off by brushing and drying her long luxurious hair, applying a touch of makeup and tonight choosing a beautiful deep blue long flowing dress. She regarded herself in a long mirror, to anybody else she would have appeared as a vision of feminine perfection, but she regarded herself with a much more critical eye, seeing flaws that nobody else would notice. Then she walked over to her dresser and regarded the symbol of her office; although not of itself heavy, it had grown to represent the heavy burden that she alone could carry. She looked at it, dead centre of the dresser where she had left it, reflected in mirrors to each side so she could see it from anywhere in the room; she could not escape this symbol of her virtual imprisonment. She approached, aligning herself with the mirror and reached with both hands to pick up this symbol of her oppression, raised it up and placed it on her head, the image in the mirror showing a beautiful tiara upon her head, but to her a deadweight representing loneliness, isolation and the ceaseless burden of duty.
She opened the ornately panelled door to her chamber, greeted her guards and took gentle strides along the stone corridor, following the well-trodden route to the castle’s observation platform where her sister awaited. Given the summer heat, the platform was open to the sky allowing all those privileged to be there to smell the summer fragrances, to feel the gentle summer breeze and be at one with nature. Upon hearing Luna’s heels on the stone floor, her elder sister arose and walked the few steps to her younger sister where the two embraced momentarily and exchanged a brief kiss of greeting.
The two most senior Royals then took seats across the common corner of a table, allowing them to both see each other but also admire an unobstructed view of the last dying rays of the sun. A light breakfast was served to Luna whilst her elder sister was served a light supper as they exchanged pleasantries; a little scandal, a little gossip; the light-hearted events that had already been the talking points of most of the other people in the kingdom today. The waiters and cooks had long ago learned to respect this precious time that the two sisters shared and taken their cue from the tone and pace of their conversation to dictate the pace at which they should serve the freshly prepared pastries and other delights.
By the time the meal was finished, the last traces of twilight had chased the sun over the horizon and the sisters got down to the more serious business of the day. Once Luna was armed with all she needed to know, the sisters rose exchanged another brief embrace and went their separate ways. She was alone again; all but the guards. She lingered on the observation platform as the first few stars twinkled down at her. There would be a good showing tonight as they were on the cusp of a new moon and the sky would be denied the brightness of the moon. This would also be a good night for her special talents, so she walked through a network of corridors and staircases until she reached a heavily guarded door. She once more exchanged perfunctory pleasantries and the door was opened for her to proceed in. Nobody but her ever went into this room. Ever.
The room was packed with shelves of books and an array of arcane items, many of which would not have been recognised by the casual observer, but were the tools of her craft. Most people upon seeing such an eclectic collection of magik paraphernalia would have run away quickly closing the door behind them before they got turned into a frog, but she knew what everything was and how it could help her. She arranged some joss sticks and lit them, giving each a quick shake to subdue the flame but allowing them to smoulder releasing sweet smelling incense into the air. Her actions were observed by none, save the inverted image of herself in the crystal ball on the table.
She wafted the air to spread the heady scent and then mounted a spiral staircase at one corner of the room, emerging on the next level in a round room, the walls and ceiling of which were a transparent dome at the highest point of the castle. The only other feature was a reclining chair in the middle of the room. She slowly circled the room, seeing the world outside from every different angle then tucked her dress under her and reclined onto the chair.
Luna disciplined her mind to clear, drifting into an altered state with the help of the incense eddying and twisting its way up from below. Her mind wandered as it flew her across the land, imagining herself as a graceful winged unicorn with flowing mane and tail soaring, swooping free in the skies, seeing dreams as individual clouds in the starlight. With no pressing problems in the kingdom tonight, she was free to move as she pleased and arrived at a nondescript hamlet to the east of the kingdom, where she set about entering the different clouds that appeared before her.
The first was from a child, scared of facing exams. This was easy, as she conjured up images showing how all the other children felt the same anxiety and that it would all work out well in the end. Her work done, the dream changed to happy thoughts of family, friends and games. The next was of a young man seeking revenge on another, feeling himself wronged. She showed him how things could have looked from the other side and how that could have made him appear unreasonable. This dream then changed to the sight of the two men sharing a pint at the local hostelry; more success. She was on a roll tonight.
Next up was a man sad from losing contact with a former lover. She latched in to the dream and traced back to his former sweetheart, giving her the confidence to overcome feelings of awkwardness and renew their relationship from which both would gain. Her heart rose in anticipation of the love that she knew would grow between this couple and in response allowed her ethereal self to indulge in some celebratory aerobatics; feeling the exhilaration of the wind under her wings as she swooped and spiralled, laughing in pure delight. She rounded off her unseen display with a perfectly executed loop before diving down into the next dream, her heart still soaring from the pleasure of having reunited the previous couple.
This dream was another in the same vein, but as she watched it develop her heart skipped a beat as she started to recognise a train of events unfold and even a face from so long ago. She withdrew quickly, feeling that if this was someone she had held so dear and whose memories she treasured so dearly she should leave well alone. It would be most improper to use her powers for her own gain; where would that lead? Hedonism and selfish excess?
She hoped that she had been able to depart this dream cleanly, as she did not want to leave any lasting trace of her presence that could linger causing unanticipated results. Then she remembered the feelings of rediscovered love that had still enveloped her as she had plunged headlong into this dream and chided herself for being so unprofessional.
She still felt more than a little shocked and although trying her hardest, found herself unable to focus as much as she needed to continue with her dream duty. She awoke from her meditation. It was still dark. Had she really seen who she thought she had? After years of public service she had seen so many faces; surely she must have been mistaken. Surely the night, her element, could not have played such a cruel trick on her.
Having lost her train of thought for the night, Luna tried her hand at some scrying, but could not concentrate, and so tidied up her items and withdrew for the night, taking a walk round the castle gardens to clear her mind; she wasn’t going to accomplish anything more tonight and inwardly reprimanded herself for being so selfish. The stars were just as beautiful as she had predicted, but the brightness of their glittering aerial display served only to remind her that it was still not dawn and she should by rights still have been hard at work.
She meandered among the sweet smelling flowers and brushed through the diaphanous branches of a weeping willow, and before long could feel the dampness of the first dew forming. She cursed herself inwardly knowing the night to be fading as she looked to the east and saw in confirmation the first stirrings of light. She stomped with a most unregal gait back towards to the castle and sat down on a bench, her feelings of such unfairness coursing through her as she started to cry. Feelings of her own emptiness and the loss of her love so long ago flooded back and overwhelmed her as she rested her face in her hands and wept piteously, her tears running through her fingers. She howled with a mixture of desperate emotions spinning round inside her; sobbing loudly at the supreme injustice of it all.
She had no idea how long she had been crying when a gentle hand touched her arm, but her tears had long ago run dry, making her anguish even more unpleasant. She gently raised her head from her hands and became aware that the sun had risen and her sister was kneeling beside her. She was so pleased to see her elder sister she hugged her close, not with the usual regal detachment, but this time with the deep need to feel loved. From somewhere inside she found more new tears and broke down once more, trembling uncontrollably. She felt her sister’s reassuring embrace and couldn’t remember the last time she had experienced this degree of closeness with anyone. Finally, she took her sister’s hand and walked with her back to the castle. Nothing was said, just the bond of sisterly love binding the two of them, surpassing the need for the clumsiness of comment.
Luna allowed her sister to put her to bed. Whatever had happened, her elder sister knew that they would talk when she was ready.
As Luna drifted off to sleep, an envelope bearing the postmark from a nondescript hamlet to the east of the kingdom fell soundlessly through the letterbox of the castle’s front door.