The Cheesecake Chronicles

by Dido

First published

A Classical Dido Reinterpretation of The Cheesecake Debacle, Join yourself and other lovely Anons as you witness first hand the turmoil we must go through to win the love of our lives. And you cant forget about the Cheesecake~

Love is hard to come by, it cannot be forced or coerced, it must happen naturally between two people.
Love can come in many forms, and some not too good.
Love is about trial and error, and the dedication needed to continue your relationships, even through their ups and downs.
Love wont always be visible, or hidden. Nor will it come at first light.
Love requires patience... And that's exactly what you have.

Read about the one you hold dear, keep them in your hearts and never let go. It'll get rough, but its something you understand.

Warning: This fic is about humanized ponies (Because i don't think i can do normal ponies well... :twilightblush:) This fic may contain strong language, adult themes and obscure references. Please note that i'm am still new to writing and that constructive criticism is welcome.

The Beginning of an Era

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You awaken to find yourself in some comfy duvets and pillows, the amount of fluffiness currently suffocating you is overwhelming as you try to remember where you are. You move the mountains of fluff and covers away from your face as the ceiling comes into view, it's carved stone... this was NOT your bedroom. As you turn to look around, the sun blinds your eyes, leaving you helpless for a few seconds as you panic and fall out of the bed. Your eyes adjust fairly quickly as you rub your head; which now had a sizable bump displaying itself proudly upon your crown.

The knock to your head somehow helped you remember everything that has happened: A few weeks ago you had woken up in a small clearing, clothes scorched and personal effects destroyed. A bad start to a brave somewhat new world. A few other humans had picked you up and carried you to a small castle, surrounded by wooden huts. Phasing in and out of consciousness you happened to take notice of all the primitive technology scattering the small village.

Within those few weeks you had to come to terms with your predicament... You were now stuck here for who knows how long, with nothing but your burned cloths and your wits. You learned of the people who lived there, they are humans, but refer to themselves as "Ponies", Why? You have no idea. Come to think of it, it's not to hard to imagine that they are a completely different race, you've seen them fly with wings, and use their hands to do some wibbily wobbily magic stuff with their hands. It dumbfounded you in the first few days.

In the first week of arriving you had met the two rulers of the land, "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna", Sisters who share the throne together and manage the village, did they mention that they control the fucking sun and moon. They had questioned you thoroughly and judged you to be non threatening to the pony race and let you stay for a while. Being new to the world like a fresh spawn in an open world video game, you had nothing, and nowhere to go, the kind and gracious Princesses allowed you to stay in a spare chamber until you could get your bearings.

You snap out of your reminiscent stupor and shake your head, you remembered everything, but from here on out, it's all improv. You stand up and stretch cracking a few bones and look to the mess of blankets and pillows, there were not much workers or maids in this place, so you thought it couldn't really be called a "Castle". You fix up your bed and head towards the chamber door, the sound of grumbling comes from your stomach as the door cracks open.

The hallways were pretty narrow and short, made from cobblestone as well as paved floors. The walls sported windows and banners resembling something from medieval times where people fought pythons for the holy grail, suffering minor flesh wounds. The lights were seemingly primitive, but much more advanced than what humans on earth had, the lighting system was made of magically lit crystals found from nearby caves.

It doesn't take you long to reach the dining hall, much more of a small room with a table for six. There sat the two Princesses enjoying some mid morning tea. You approach them casually and take a set at the table across from the elder sister; Celestia. Her hair was pink, although she swears it's completely natural. Now that you look at her a little more, she seemed very kind and pleasant to converse with. She never interrupts you or tries to derail a conversation, unlike most of your friends back home. She always smiled and looked regal, as if to show she was born perfect.

Upon closer inspection: Her chest was fairly big, her skin a tantalizing pearly white, the look of it seemingly begging you to touch it as if it were going to be extremely soft and smooth. The curves of her body seemed perfect, accentuated by the form fitting clothes made for her by the village tailor. Her Posterior was about in your strike zone as well as you ogled her body creepily. A suppressed cough comes from beside you.

Princess Luna had been looking at you for the past few minutes, following your gaze to see exactly what you were doing, she had been the one to break the silence and call you out. You blush as you whistle innocently. Luna looks away, giving you a chance you examine her. Luna's features seemed to mimic Celestia's but on a much smaller scale. Her skin tone less pale and more akin to a light tan, Her hair a light blue as she also argues is her natural color. Of course you'll never believe them unless you see that the carpets match the drapes on either of the sisters.

You look back towards the table before you get caught again and take a deep breath, the mouthwatering aroma of grilled vegetables surrounds the air as your stomach grumbles harder. A person holding some plates come out and begin to set them in front of the Princesses and yourself, in front of you lie dozens of choices of food, from some of your favorite veggies, to your least. You take a few plates full and begin to indulge yourself.

After eating your share of food you lean back in the chair rubbing your expanded stomach. A creak from the chair warns you of what you already know, you should not have eaten that much food, you lean forward and stand up, pushing the chair in. You start to wonder of what you should do now. The Princesses haven't told you to do anything, you don't feel like doing peasant work outside, but you're becoming bored fast.

You catch a glimpse of Celestia walking out of the dining hall and decide to follow her. A memory resurfaces from your time in high school, the guys always called you the chick magnet, always able to get any girl at any time, you start to wonder if your charms still work, even in this environment. You stuff your flabby stomach into your pants and tuck your shirt in, ready to approach such a refined lady. You lightly stumbled forward while you were trailing the Princess, Causing you to bump into her, She turns around concerned and looks at you. She sees you and smiles, her face glowing like an angel; You take a large breath and gulp... Time to put on your charms...