The air in the underground carriage is dry and has metallic taste. It’s not hot, the air conditioning system does its best, and it doesn’t have any other extraneous smell, but is still unpleasant. The walls of the carriage choke you, suppress. That feeling follows you in every dimly lit enclosed room since about three years ago.
You fixate your sight on the book in your hands and try to read, instead of looking around. That’s a detective story. You’ve stopped reading fiction completely, be it scientific or fantasy, after… Well, you’ve stopped reading fiction.
The carriage rocks lightly and smoothly. This motion is not what disturbs you from reading. You can’t avoid the returning thought of something is not exactly right, and the book doesn’t help you to relax.
So what is it? You didn’t cook or iron this morning and you’re absolutely sure that you have turned off the microwave after you had your breakfast… just in case. The water is cut, the lights are off either. You’re living alone, so you don’t need to bother about someone’s comfort, when you’re not at home. You don’t even have a pet. The mere idea of having a pet disgusts you… No, not entirely right… The mere idea of somebody being your pet disgusts you.
You’ve lost everything: your girlfriend – who would ever date a psycho; your friends – they didn’t share your fears and it was a period you couldn’t probably talk about anything else; your previous well paid job, which to be honest was also your favourite… But there could be no boss, who kept an employee after six months of unjustified absence.
Surely you’ve started regaining slowly during the last year. You’ve got a job, not as well paid as previous one and definitely not as inspiring, but it pays your needs completely. You’ve started communicating with people, mostly coworkers, but you hardly see anybody else anyway. They still keep slightly aloof… perhaps some information slipped in somehow, but they don’t dash aside and that’s considerable progress, compared to what you had upon your return.
That’s probably the merit of psychiatric counseling you are to resort to lately. Exactly your intended destination at that moment and, according to your watch, you’re still coming right in time. Earlier you thought that you reached the phase, when you could cope without it; alas, some events of the recent few months made you reconsider and return to what seemed to help at least. Actually, one particular event, but it turned out mind shattering for you.
You look around once again – there are only a few passengers in the carriage in that time of the day. Noon is not the peak hour at this direction evidently.
An office clerk clinging to his laptop, unable to take a break of his work even during lunch hours. He is nervous, his fingers anxiously tap the keys, perhaps his regular case is not going well this time.
An older man, looking like a bum mostly, he sits in the far corner of the carriage and seems to be overly involved in quiet conversation with himself. Or his imaginary friend… or even praying. You can hear only muffled mumble.
A young blonde with a damned cell phone. She entered one or two stops ago, frowned at the bum, funnily wrinkling her nose, and sat closer to you and the clerk. She is constantly babbling on her phone, which you are already hating with passion. The clerk seems to be immune to disturbances of that kind, but you almost feel like useless words bump your head, making it ache.
“… and then I told him to back off, as that was the only program he could offer for the date… Ahahaha!” apparently she is discussing some poor fellow, who was unlucky enough to fall for this windbag and got dismissed. Now she’s bragging about her practical wit to a similar windbag, while you roll your eyes.
Fortunately your own phone rings. You reach the pocket and answer the call. This is your counselor secretary Judith – a miniature ginger girl with intellect of a mainframe. One can never think that this spry pretty bird can manage all the appointments, patients, etc, etc. Perhaps hearing her ringing voice twice a week adds to the “rescue raft”, which still keeps you afloat above insanity. She reminds you about the appointment after a cheerful greeting.
“Thank you kindly, Judith!” you answer with a wide smile, imagining how she holds the tube with her shoulder, while her hands keep being busy with the documents on her table. “I’m on my way already.”
Finally it’s your stop. With a sigh of relief you leave the carriage and cross the half empty platform. This station is small and you like it, it takes a couple of minutes only to get out. Nevertheless you run up the ascending escalator avoiding the rare citizens on your way and catching a few bemused gazes. The reason is simple and much deeper, than a mere fear to stay in confined space longer than necessary – the last couple of days you can’t get rid of a skin crawling feel that you are being watched. Paranoia? Three years ago you would tell the same and deride any other reasons. A few months in the Sisters’ Castle made the difference.
You exit the belly of underground kraken and breathe deeply. It’s early autumn and the smell of leaves and damp soil from the nearby park fills your nostrils. Even the memories of the certain garden can’t prevent you from enjoying it. Perhaps because you had both painful and peaceful memories of that garden, the latter connected to the younger sister of course. You taste the air like some old wine, despite it being tinted with inevitable city “aroma” of gasoline and other less pleasant stuff. Still better than ventilation and even recycle flavoured air-wannabe from the underground.
You cross the square and enter the office building. Telling the concierge office number and the time of appointment you look around, while he is checking his journal. The staircase is brightly lit by the sunlight, pouring through the wide windows, practically the glass outer wall, and you decide to ignore the elevators and run to the tenth floor on foot, when you get your confirmation. You usually sit too much anyway, so, that will be a useful exercise.
The long corridor has many doors in it and you even your breathing while heading to the one you need. The one you enter twice a week and leave, feeling at least a little less edgy.
“Good afternoon, Judith!” you put your ritual smile on, but perhaps with her it comes out more natural, than with the rest. “Once again.”
She is busy with a computer, some paperwork and a phone call all at once; therefore she just raises her big green eyes on you and smiles with them only, while talking to another patient. Judith nods and makes a wide welcoming gesture towards the double doors on the far side of the reception room.
You breathe deeply and push the doors, entering the sunlit room.
“Fucking ponies, what did you do with my life?! Will I ever get rid of your grasp?” you mutter inwardly.
It was a common day three and a half years ago, you just came home after work, took off the jacket and threw your case on the sofa in the living room. All the troubles of that day paid back with an awesome result and despite of your exhaustion, you simply needed to tell someone about your success at work. Someone close to you, who would gladly share your joy and excitement.
You flopped on the sofa and took your smartphone out, smiling to your thoughts and choosing your girlfriend’s number from the phone book. The connection was established and you could hear the first beep. The next thing you could remember was a feeling of falling down right “through your sofa”. After a bright flash darkness swallowed everything… including you.
You could see, feel or hear again in a few seconds, when you found yourself, falling out of nowhere into some dimly lit room, and painfully landed, breaking an armchair with your back. First glance on the smartphone screen gave you a “No signal” message. Obviously the connection broke, before you could say or hear anything in return.
You took a look around: stone walls with tapestries and arched windows of stained glass, chandeliers with burning candles, a fireplace built into the wall, dark noble furniture and… a very surprised old unicorn in dark blue mantle with embroidered stars and bells attached to the edges. Grizzled mane and long almost white beard completed the image. The bright aura around his horn dimmed, as the spell wore out. Was it purely your misfortune or something had gone wrong with his magic, nobody could probably tell and, to be honest, knowing it would hardly make your condition easier.
“So the legends were true,” muttered the unicorn in half voice, while you shivered so hard that the broken chair under you crackled and gave you more pain. “And there is indeed such creature as a human.”
You had all reasons to shiver according to your standards of normal – you found yourself apparently in some castle with medieval furnishing and faced a talking unicorn, dressed like a mage from some ancient tale. Moreover you could perfectly understand, what this unicorn was talking about.
“My sincere apologies, stranger,” the unicorn addressed you meanwhile. “It seems I’ve misestimated some conditions of my spell… and the resulting warp brought you here from… wherever your abode is. I’m Starswirl the Bearded, the court mage of the rulers of Equestria. And I apologize again for tearing you out of your affairs in such an abrupt way.”
“I need to know more about yourself and your home world, so I could adjust my spell and try to return you, where you undoubtedly belong,” he made a step towards you and an encouraging smile peeked through his beard.
You didn’t listen to him though, the whole room spun around you in a swirl of dark and bright stripes, and you fainted, sliding from the remnants of the armchair to the stone floor.
Your troubles were only to start though…
You felt a cold breeze on your face and slowly woke up. Then you saw, as Starswirl supported you with his magic and brought a silver cup to your mouth. You drank what seemed some sort of brandy to you. Reviving warmth spread in your body and your dizziness and nausea vanished. Perhaps that brandy contained more than just alcohol.
“Now, that’s better,” said the old unicorn, when you sat straight finally and focused your eyes.
You noticed that your interlocutor is not as big as a common horse you knew, technically being a pony. More noble looking an slender than common ponies you got used to, this if you tried to ignore that he was sentient.
When he managed to get you conscious, the old mage took you to the rulers of their land immediately. Those rulers appeared to be two young sisters: older – Celestia, the beauteous tall white winged unicorn with flowing mane and tail of pink colour, who’s big bright eyes seemed to look right through your soul; and younger – Luna, her coat and wings were of all tints of blue up to black and flowing mane and tail seemed to be parts of starry night sky. Luna was yet almost a filly, very vivid and curious, yet you noticed a shadow of desperate sadness deep in her beautiful eyes.
After a short discussion they and Starswirl decided that it would be smarter and safer to keep you in the Castle and make sure, nopony knows about you without a considerable reason. It was agreed that Starswirl should start correcting his spell and work on the subject of your return. Obviously you were to tell him (and the sisters), what he needed to know about you and your home land.
Thus started your life in the land of Equestria, in the Regal Sisters’ Castle, surrounded by the ancient forest of Everfree.
At least this was, what you could see from the windows and galleries of the Castle – an endless green surface, which seemingly spread to the horizon and moved like a living creature in windy days.
You weren’t able to see much of the Equestria though. The farthest you were allowed to go was the Castle garden – very large and varied in terms of flora and fauna… yet the constant presence of minimum two pony guards made it no difference from the rest of the Castle. Thankfully they always kept distance not to oppress you completely, but every moment you were under attentive observation of a couple of eyes or more. Officially it was declared as a safety measure for you, but you understood the real ground for it. You only wondered if you were able to go anywhere or address anyone… or anypony as they used to say, even if you managed to “flee” somehow. Moreover, to be honest, you realized well that you had no place to flee anyway.
Thus your contacts were strictly limited to the mage, two princesses and castle personnel of different sorts. The latter though, despite accepting you finally as a sentient creature of no threat or malicious intent and even equally intellectual to their kin, didn’t rush to become friends with you. Perhaps this was the result of their observation of princesses’ policy regarding you – you weren’t supposed to share your knowledge or get some from the commoners.
The real vent were conversations with Starswirl the Bearded. In the end of the day he appeared to be a good guy… a good old pony unicorn to be exact. He was truly concerned about you, your feelings and future. He actually worked hard to find the flaws in his gone-wrong spell and some way to bring you back home. You talked for hours to ensure the success of that task. Starswirl needed all the information about your place of origin, you could provide, and about your experience during… the transfer. Besides he was genuinely interested in getting to know the new culture better.
He shared a good portion of Equestrian history and habits in return. You learned that there were generally three species of ponies: earth ponies – common ones, pegasi – winged ponies and unicorns. Long ago those species or better say races were feuding for land and food, for power, being naturally jealous of ability to fly or cast of ones and to grow food and manufacture many different things of others. But finally they rejoined in one folk and thus Equestria, as it was known at present days, was formed.
Alicorns were a totally special case. They were technically speaking unicorns with wings, thus combining the ability to fly and magic. But their magic was much more powerful than of common unicorns. The only common unicorn who could reach that level of magical progress was perhaps Starswirl. But you concluded that yourself, as the old chap never touched that subject.
The most incredible revelation for you was that somepony could not only be born as an alicorn, but also become one. It wasn’t exactly known how that happened. The most feasible case was when a unicorn reformed as an alicorn after reaching some outstanding acievement, for example in magic. A pegasus could also be reformed, but Swirl didn’t remember an occasion of an earth pony becoming an alicorn. Frankly speaking, there were no cases of a common pony becoming an alicorn for a very long period already.
So alicorns were a rare case and considered royal persons, moreover even deities. The only two alicorns known for the moment were princesses Celestia and Luna. They were born as such, but neither Starswirl, nor sisters themselves ever touched the question of their parents… and you decided to ask not as well.
Another breathtaking fact was that the sisters obviously had immense powers (even Luna, who was almost a filly yet). You wouldn’t believe, if you didn’t see that yourself, dropping your jaw and giving princesses a good laugh, how Celestia raised and lowered the Sun and Luna did the same for the Moon. So you naturally decided that you should be very careful, approaching those ponies capable to move stars and planets and live practically forever.
While you were the good collocutor for Starswirl, despite your non-magical nature and general differences in ideology of a 21st century human and a medieval pony, for the sisters you were more of entertainment. They accepted the fact that intellectually you were equal, but still saw you as a interesting toy. Especially the older one, Celestia.
She liked to listen to your stories, mostly common stuff like everyday life of people, their concerns, jobs and entertainments, about nature on Earth which appeared very similar to Equestrian, except magical creatures of course. Technical questions like solar system structure or possible distance to Equs (the planet of pony folk) didn’t interest her much. Celestia found your inability to cast magic or defend from it very amusing. She didn’t abuse it… much, but being able to grab you with magic or on the contrary put a muffin in your mouth during the breakfast was her little guilty pleasure.
Luna was totally different. She was younger and more spontaneous, she paid less attention to what a princess should do or what shouldn’t. In her good days she was just a cheerful and curious girl and clung to you more like to an older brother. She looked for a friend desperately and found that in you, which made you wonder, if she was getting enough attention from her sister. The latter seemed to fixate more on her royal duties, than noticing that Luna was around or had any problems.
You spotted that at the first sight and became more confident that your observation was right with each day – the sad expression deep in Luna’s eyes. Perhaps the mere fact, that she was the younger sister and felt the attention and recognition was spread unfairly… even if that was purely her imagination, poisoned her life and made the little girl cry. Sometimes sisters quarreled indeed and you could say that Luna was rarely a winner. Those days she often ran to you and you tried your best to remedy her pain, telling her something or simply stroking her incredible starry mane, while she put her head on your knees. A couple of times you even wanted to reason with Celestia, but self preservation instinct and realization of the futility of that idea stopped you.
Luna was impressed by your cell phone. You were to show her the photos you had and play some music several times, before the battery finally gave up. The brighter was her joy, when one day Starswirl found the way to recharge it using magic. Finally she even learned to operate it pretty good, applying magical impact to the touch screen.
When sisters found their stable equilibrium, they looked like ideal and loving family. Even if an incomplete one. Those days you got twice the trouble though as both addressed to their favourite play companion at the same time and generated ideas twice intensively. What did only their idea to bathe you cost you to avoid with dignity? God only knows. Perhaps they finally realized that it was exactly what princesses were NOT supposed to be doing, and that only saved you from utter embarrassment. Though pink cheeks and sly sparkles in the eyes of Celestia told you that she didn’t give up the idea entirely. You only sighed inwardly to one more reason to be extra cautious.
Finding out that the human agility and speed was hardly less than of average pony and even sometimes surpassed the latter gave Celestia an idea of another entertainment: playing catch or hide and seek with the human, using the old castle catacombs or the vast garden as the playground. Luna always joined the game, not because of enjoying it equally to her older sister, but, as you finally concluded, rather to provide some guarantee, that you wouldn’t be dragged harshly by your leg from your hiding place, when Celestia found you. You could vividly remember the concern written on Luna’s pretty muzzle, when Celestia trotted victoriously through the garden, carrying you in the bubble of her magic aura; you usually “sat” with unambiguous tired expression, trying not to fixate on the position, you were put in. The latter was obviously harder to achieve, if out of her excitement she carried you upside down, totally forgetting you weren’t a bat.
Obviously, when you could have a walk with the younger sister, the garden seemed totally different to you; not some battlefield or hunting grounds, you could actually enjoy the talk, the view, the smell of the plants, not being forced to run and dodge through the foliage.
Another bright idea – to play hide and seek in the old castle catacombs – exactly made you avoid confined space thereafter. It was a complex task for the sisters to find you there, but it played a nasty joke on you one day. The castle was full of secret passages, trap doors, hidden nooks and surprises alike. Obviously, the majority of those were made to conform pony operation style; moreover, some were designed purely for magical interaction. Thus one unfortunate morning you fell for the trap of that kind: leaning on the wall in the corridor of hoof-chandeliers brought you directly in a small stone sack, having no way out for those incapable to magically activate the door lock. First you chuckled at your own misfortune, then called for help for a while, then kicked walls… Fortunately there was some sort of ventilation in that “hiding place”, but you were to spend there almost the whole day, when finally Luna and Celestia managed to find you, turning almost the whole castle upside down. They took you out at late night, or better say you fell out of that stone cell right into Celestia’s hooves, thirsty, hungry and exhausted, when the wall panel slid aside and you could see the blurry image of the sisters. That incident even made Celestia leave you alone for a couple of days.
When Luna and Celestia argued or simply harbored some grievances at each other, it was a total disaster. Nopony could feel entirely safe at those moments. Of course, you were always ready to console Luna, Celestia needed that not as she was confident in her rightness and generally tried to avoid showing weakness, but it would be insane to stand between them. Only the old mage could reason with both princesses, but unfortunately he worked too much, rarely leaving his cabinet. Even more lately because of the task to return you home.
You could remember that day, when, nopony knows what reason for, you tried to teach Celestia to dance like people. Perhaps that was done for pure fun and giggles, but what brought her to accept idea, you couldn’t say. You could neither say that she succeeded. Obviously, it was hard enough for a pony to learn the movements, while raising on the hind legs and putting fore legs on human partner’s shoulders. God witnessed, she tried her best and you were to admit, she didn’t stomp your feet at least. But she laughed so hard all the way and flapped her wings sporadically in the process, making small things fly off their places.
You made a few circles around the library, wrecking havoc on the tables and, to tell the truth, having great fun, until…
Until you both spotted Luna, standing in the doorway and giggling. Surely Celestia must look clumsy for the observer, and you were an epitome of grace neither. But Celestia’s reaction was too strong and not entirely adequate in your books. She pushed you away that you almost crashed the bookcase and stormed out of the library, telling something her sister in half voice. The latter made Luna instantly upset. The rest of the day wasn’t pleasant at all. And late chary apology from Celestia didn’t make your shoulder ache less…
For some reason Luna asked you to teach her the same. And frankly speaking she reached way better results than Celestia, perhaps because of practicing more… and adding to your duties henceforth. Celestia on the contrary never touched that subject again and pouted on you for several days. The more happiness was written on Luna’s lovely face, when she felt that she progressed in dancing.
Almost six months passed that way. And considering all what happened your life could hardly be called easy and relaxing.
Finally Starswirl announced the completion of his investigations and said he was entirely sure, he could deliver you home safe and sound. First impulse of yours was to hug the old unicorn then grab and drag him to his cabinet for him to send you back as soon as it was possible. But you suppressed that otherwise natural wish because of humaneness reasons. Luna cried the entire evening and you spend it with her, till she fell asleep. The next morning her eyes were still on the wet spot.
Celestia wished you luck quite reservedly, her position of older sister and royalty still held her from showing simple feelings. Starswirl told you quietly that she argued with him last evening, if they should send you back at all. Perhaps the pet was too promising to give it up easily. That sent shivers down your spine, making you even more determined to leave, despite natural sympathy to the younger sister.
When you kissed Luna in her nose, she cried loud and made Celestia hug her and try to console. You couldn’t leave without hugging your unwilling abductor and generous saviour – Starswirl the Bearded. Waving the last goodbye you stepped into the white warp to feel the same flash and falling through darkness…
You landed on the floor in your living room. The lights were out and all the furniture was covered. It seemed it was late night, so you just curled on the spot and fell asleep. Not very fast though – the image of princess Luna undoubtedly being sad tonight made your heart faintly ache.
*
You were lucky that Starswirl fixed his spell in time. He could manage putting you at the same place, but not in the same time or close enough. The whole six months passed here in entirety. Perhaps if you arrived a couple of weeks later your whole property would have been sold and you declared unaccounted-for.
God only knew how much it did take you to gather all the necessary documents and prove that you were you, just appearing from nowhere half a year after your vanishing. The relationships with local authorities were not your best moments to remember. Police, medical care… But intelligence service was the worst, they turned you and your life inside out, trying to find anything criminal in your absence and story. Fortunately, and to be honest naturally, without conspiring the officials came to the conclusion that you had a severe case of amnesia, thus being torn out of your normal life and contacts reach, totally ignoring the fact that you should leave some trail no matter what. Perhaps the intelligence still kept you monitored, thus providing you that paranoid feel from time to time.
Finally it all settled down, you found new job, agreed with yourself to treat the whole story as traumatic memories being concealed by your psychic… despite knowing the uncomfortable truth. You were even approaching the stage, when you decided to give up the counseling, when the aforementioned mind shattering event occurred.
Two months ago you were spending your lone evening in front of the TV, deciding between a historical movie and the news, when a new kids show titles caught your attention, making you cringe and chuckle simultaneously upon the “pony” word in it. You decided to take a look though… for your doom, as it turned out. The few minutes later in the show, after the titles and the actual episode start you found yourself curled on your sofa under the blanket, shivering to the point, you couldn’t press the button on the remote to turn the damned thing off fast enough.
The speed your TV set flied to the trash shortly after could make Halley’s Comet jealous and your fingers already dialed the number erratically. From the third attempt you managed to call your doctor and inform her that you reconsidered about the counseling.
