Tim has been unexpectedly transported to Equestria by unfathomable magic. Why? No logical reasoning can be deduced. Regardless of his predicament, he is determined to find out how to get back home in one piece.
Hello, this is the part where I, the narrator, would normally name myself to you, the reader, but I am afraid that such a label would be meaningless by comparison to the lighted-hearted satirical nature of this venture. If you feel the compunction to call me something, however, then you may dub me Mr. Whiskers.
For those of you interested in reading a tale of dramatic woe, I would caution you. This is not the story for you. While it is certainly true that Tim's narrative here begins in one of melancholy, being plucked from his home in some remote universe and transported to Equestria, his tale is anything but sad. Indeed, it is one of chaos.
Chapter 1 is proofread by PoisonClaw and princeps Additional editing is done by TheDizzyDan Artwork provided by Lome
On this particularly dreadful day, we find ourselves somewhere on the outskirts of Ponyville, lamenting over one young individual, Tim, whose presence here is undeniably unfortunate. There are many ways which one can count the events, each more absurd than the last, leading up to his appearance in Equestria. Whether it be the blinding lights enveloping him or the shifting of gravitational forces around him, he is now disoriented, torn from his home. To believe that his untimely arrival should solely hinge on a tear in the time-space continuum is nigh inconceivable.
He now stands before a dark and foreboding forest, which has been coined as 'The Everfree Forest'. The name is inapt, for there is positively no reason life should thrive here without intervention and all things extraordinary lured to it. Likewise, and to further irony, Tim is anything but free. Plucked from his own reality and displaced in a world so different from his own, his very existence, in mind and body both, has been altered. Alack, he has become trapped within the very confounding confines of The Everfree Forest, and as he has yet to discover, this occurrence has paved the way for a series of chaotic events. My job is to catalogue these events in the hopes that nothing unfortunate like this should befall someone, or pony, in the future.
A splitting headache was the first sensation Tim felt upon awakening. He couldn’t remember what happened to him, but from the way it throbbed, he surmised that he had a concussion. The incessant ringing in his ears overshadowed his ability to recall the event.
He tentatively raised his hand to his head. When his hand made contact, he immediately became aware of two things. The first was that the touch did nothing to abate the growing pain, which caused him to recoil.
The second thing he noticed was the texture of his hand. The extremity was rigid, lacking the digits he was accustomed to. Additionally, despite his careful application, the force exceeded his expectations at least two-fold.
He opened his eyes apprehensively, stricken with fear by what he might discover. A raised hoof was there to meet him instead of his hand. He watched it mimic his every gesture as he waved it back and forth. After casting a downward glance, he saw that similar alterations had affected the rest of his body. The entire spectacle was as fantastical as it was disturbing, for he had been utterly transformed.
A flurry of thoughts ran through his mind all at once. The jarring experience of expectation versus reality left him in a state of disarray. He struggled to regain his bearings, wobbling on unfamiliar hooves as he stood. Reflecting upon the situation raised a startling question: was he even the same person anymore?
There was no quelling the sudden anxiety that took hold inside of him. His whole world had been turned upside down in the blink of an eye. He was desperate to look anywhere but at his new body.
It was in this way that he took stock of his surroundings. Before him stood the tallest trees–a densely packed thicket, which cast an ominous ambience that sent shivers down his spine–he had ever seen. They shaded everything underneath them in the setting sun.
The rustling of a nearby grove of bushes caused Tim to quiver with fear. Though he wanted to run, his legs were rooted. He might have just fallen instead. Overwrought with fear, there was nothing he could do but wait for his demise.
A tiny bunny stepped out from the bushes, extinguishing his fear of the unknown. It stood on its hind legs, looking up at him dispassionately and rapping its foot impatiently against the ground. It gestured for him to move aside and let it pass.
It seemed annoyed, which wasn’t a trait he normally attributed to an animal. Curiosity replaced his weakening fear. He stepped aside to give it room to walk, then studied its reaction. Once it was on the other side of him, it raised a brow and scratched its head in wonder. This confirmed his suspicions of the animal’s intelligence.
With a menacing glare and a stomp of its foot, the bunny startled Tim into falling down.
When Tim was fully prone, he mentally berated himself for being scared by the cute rodent. The bunny clearly possessed a heightened state of self-awareness, something completely foreign to anything but his own species from home, but that shouldn’t have prompted him to be scared by it.
Now that he was no longer frightened, the bunny’s intelligence piqued his interest. He wondered how deep it ran, and as he walked up to it, he reached a hoof out tentatively to pet it. The gesture had the unintended consequence of vexing the bunny into slapping it away.
Tim paced around the herbivore and studied its body language. It followed his motions, confusion evident in its eyes, but it otherwise remained still. He then wondered how it would respond to his own aggression, so he snarled inaudibly as he stepped forward. He was awarded a deadpan stare by the bunny for his troubles.
Because of his failed attempt to scare it, he wanted to be able to communicate with it now more than ever. For all he knew, the bunny held a boon of insights that were locked away.
To the surprise of both of them, the bunny suddenly morphed, its muscles modulating to gain mass. It grew to outlandish proportions within moments, gaining at least six inches or more in height. With one of its feet bigger than the other, and one arm so long that it rested haphazardly on the ground, it hardly passed for a rabbit anymore. Its buck teeth, reshaped in the form of fangs, looked ready to chomp down on him as it opened its mouth.
Terror seized Tim. He opened his mouth to scream inaudibly, carefully retreating from the grotesque sight. The animal's growth spurt had to be faster than any documented development in a mammal ever. There was no amount of knowledge he could apply to make heads or tails of this phenomenon; it just didn't make sense!
Just as spectacularly, a tall slithering creature popped into existence seemingly out of nowhere. This was possibly the weirdest event he ever witnessed. It possessed the head of goat, the tail of a dragon, and a mismatched set of wings and appendages from various animals.
Without so much as a flutter of his wings, the stranger floated in mid air, contrary to the laws of physics. He held his stomach and guffawed as he relished in the display of Tim's anguish. "You should have seen the look on your face. Pure gold!"
A slab of gold in the shape of a pony’s head suddenly materialized before Tim. He arched his brow and stared at the hovering object in disbelief. How was any of this happening?
The statue and the floating creature boht were gone in a flash. "Why the long face," a voice came from behind him, "It's just a gag. You do know what a gag is, right?"
Spinning around, Tim came face to face with the bizarre goat-headed being holding a flower up to him in his paw. Water sprayed onto him without warning; he was sent hurtling through the air into a nearby tree by its immense pressure.
The collision did not bode well for Tim’s concussion. He glanced weakly up through blurry vision at the floating monstrosity. He was also aware the rabbit was missing, although he couldn’t be sure where it had run off to. At least it would be spared from further nonsense.
"That cracks me up every time,” he said with a chuckle, completely unaware of Tim’s agony.
"You haven't spoken much since I've gotten here. Cat got your tongue?" He continued when his laughter faded. He then disappeared and a cat appeared in his place. He bobbed the toy tongue up and down in his paws.
Tim wanted to turn and hightail it out of there, and he would have under normal circumstances in order to escape from the antics. A sneaking suspicion about the extent of the hybrid’s abilities stopped him in his place, however. He let out a wistful sigh, rolling his eyes and pointing at his opened mouth before giving a noncommittal shrug.
After he finished making the gesture, the cat gave a moment of pause. The cat smiled and wiped a tear from his eye before returning to his previous form.
"Really? You're mute? Oh, this is priceless! Who would have thought that I, Discord, could have picked the perfect pony to play with. Now I know I can trust you to keep a secret. I bet everyone lines up to tell you all sorts of juicy stories."
Tim now had a name to associate with the 'impossibly wacky abilities', though he wasn’t really interested in making his acquaintance. His statement, however, caused him to reflect upon his memories to recall anything that was shared with him over the years. He shook his head when nothing came to mind. Discord seemed only slightly disappointed before he promptly lost all interest with the conversation.
"Well, it wasn't as if you had anything meaningful to say anyway." Discord then laid onto a levitating bed that had popped out of thin air. He yawned boisterously and snuggled into the comforter. A flock of sheep leaped overhead, and they exploded deafeningly into a puff of white smoke on the other side of him.
The total lack of respect left a bitter resentment on Tim’s tongue, and he glared at the misshapen creature with unveiled ferocity. There were plenty of interesting things he could talk about, if only he knew how to convey them.
He tried not to let his anger get the best of him. He should be looking for a way out of this situation rather than be taken in by the insult. With Discord’s attention being diverted by his own devices, this was the best chance for him to slip away.
As sheep continued to explode, the resulting sounds the fireworks made ranged from tooting horns to distorted wails of bird cries. Tim shuddered, his thoughts fixated on the possibility that he was already irreversibly scarred. He only hoped that, by extricating himself from Discord's presence, he could pretend these ridiculous events never happened.
He edged slowly away from the bed and trotted in a random direction. Tim's confidence grew when Discord didn’t seem to notice. His hopes were dashed by the stranger’s reemergence in front of him. The prediction he made earlier was correct, much to his dismay.
"I almost forgot! Seeing as how we're practically the best of buddies already, I have something absolutely confidential that I must confess to you." With the snap of Discord's fingers, Tim promptly found that his lips were fastened together magically by a zipper in spite of the fact that he was already unable to speak.
The sensation of his mouth being barred shut discomforted him in a way that he hadn't thought possible; it was almost as if he didn't have one in the first place. His eyes began to twitch anxiously; with the unforeseen lack of a mouth came the false perception that he was suffocating. Trying to breath in through his mouth and finding himself unable to, he panicked and tried to pull the zipper off to no avail.
"Whoops! Force of habit, honest." The zipper blissfully vanished without a trace. "The truth of the matter is that it wasn't my place to bring you here. But all the monotony in Equestria as of late has really had me on edge. Then, I got this grandiose idea! what if I brought you here. With your background, mayhem is sure to follow, and who can't enjoy a little chaos from time to time?"
The brief respite Tim felt from being released from his binds was fleeting. He demanded the bizarre creature to return him to his home; unfortunately, he didn’t quite know how to use sign language in his new body, and it only appeared that he was flailing wildly instead.
It was unsurprising that Discord misunderstood him. "I know, I know. There's no need to thank me. This adventure will undoubtedly be fun for both of us. Why, really it’s just a simple game after all. And the first thing you have to do is... avoid everypony else!"
Tim was left alone to scratch his head in befuddlement as Discord disappeared. When the colt didn’t move from his spot, the hybrid’ voice filtered in through his ears. "Hide. If anypony catches you, I can't send you back home."
Before he could respond, the sound of a feminine call resounded through the woods. "Discord!"
The sudden appearance of an unfamiliar voice set him into motion. Because Discord seemed to be his ticket out of here, he panicked, and he searched for viable concealment, his eyes darting rapidly back and forth. After settling for nearby foliage, he leaped into it. He landed awkwardly on his side, rustling the leaves around him as he strained to peek through the bushes.
A winged, yellow-coated pony walked up to where he had been only a minute ago. She was accompanied by the rabbit from earlier, who dragged its elongated arm behind it. She gave a menacing glare into the sky and cried out, "Discord!"
The misshapen terror answered her call by phasing back into existence mere meters in front of her. He said in an innocent tone, "Yes, Fluttershy?"
"Turn Angel back to normal, please. This is not how you treat animals." The mare was quiet but firm in her request. She stood her ground and stared at Discord with an air of confidence that suggested familiarity with him.
"Oh, that is no big deal. It was only a harmless joke anyway. Mark my words, I was going to change him back the first chance I got. As a matter of fact, I was just on my way over to your cottage." A halo formed above Discord's head, and he held up a paw as if he had taken an oath.
An unenthused Fluttershy looked at him sternly until he clapped his paws together and returned the white-furred rodent back to normal. Once Angel had been returned to normal, it gave Discord one last aggravated glance before hopping away from whence it came.
The mare’s expression softened after Discord complied with her request. Doubt crept up on her face just as quickly, and she asked, “Umm... Did you see anypony here, by any chance? Angel mentioned you were with somepony in need of help.”
"Oh, really? Truth be told, I'd been far too occupied with other matters to eavesdrop on some random pony's uneventful life." With a quick glance around the vicinity, Discord continued, "Odd, there doesn't seem to be anypony around. Are you sure your little pet isn't just seeing things?" Discord’s voice rose half an octave as he half-heartedly snickered.
Fluttershy craned her head in suspicion before she scrutinized the forest for anything out of the ordinary. Tim was sure that she had looked directly at him before returning her gaze to her companion. "Are you sure? I don't think Angel would lie to me about this."
Taken aback by the mare's statement, Discord said, "You'd take his word over mine? Fluttershy, I'm offended. And here I thought we were the best of friends; I would never lie to you."
"Discord..." There was a hint of warning to the yellow Pegasus' tone. Tim lurched forward, adjusting his weight from one hoof to another. He was eager to hear the berating Discord was surely about receive. He leaned too far to one side, though, and lost his balance and plummeted to the ground. The cacophony alerted the mare to his presence, causing her to cut herself off from whatever it was she was about to say.
Tim, scared of being discovered, desperately tried to find new cover. The dire consequences of Discord’s rule spurned him into action. He jumped up and dove behind one of the trees in mere seconds. The damaged was already done, however, and the mae staring right at him when he peeked around his hiding spot was all the confirmation he needed.
Discord only smacked his head with a paw and let out an audible sigh of frustration. Tim didn’t quite catch what the hybrid muttered afterward, but by the way Fluttershy glared at him, it couldn’t have been positive.
"H-hey... A-are you alright?" the yellow mare asked as she trotted up to him. She was so quiet that he had to strain just to make sense of what he’d heard.
Even though he understood what she’d said, he still had the problem in being able to convey anything to her. Beyond Discord’s untold rule of requesting for help, which was almost certainly out of the question since he didn’t even want him talking to anyone in the first place, he didn’t even know how to say he was alright.
A brilliant idea suddenly struck him. Why hadn't he thought of this before? He could simply treat this as a game of charades. The ordeal was certainly made more difficult by the lack of digits in his extremities, but with some wit, he could still get his message across without alerting Discord. Since Fluttershy seemed to hold some influence over him, he might be able to go home.
Tim leaned back on his hindquarters, pointed at his mouth, and crossed his forehooves. He then drew a circle in the air with one hoof, hoping that she would catch on. He repeated his actions to emphasize his point. Other ideas were already forming in his mind if she didn’t, however.
"I-I don't understand." The other pony stared at him blankly. She flashed a look of worry over at Discord before dropping her head shyly. "I-is there something the matter? I'm sorry. I would like to help if I can."
After reflecting upon his actions, he realized that all he’d really done was draw a circle. It would mean nothing to the unsuspecting soul if they weren’t familiar with charades. He had to try one more time however.
He repeated his movements, gesturing animatedly and adding onto it by outlining a door. As he moved his hooves, he saw that she didn’t seem to be getting it. Perhaps he was far too pronounced with his signs, and instead of drawing a door, he drew a mountain.
None of that seemed to matter because after she gazed up into the sky, Fluttershy said, "Oh dear, it's almost night-time. You really should be heading on home now, it's not safe here after dark."
If he couldn’t deliver a message through charades, then he’d have to look for an alternative. He dropped the idea altogether and did the next best thing: writing into the dirt.
After spotting a stick, he tried to procure it, only to find that he didn’t know how to grasp it without an opposable thumb. The stick dropped back to the ground and rolled away. His second attempt yielded a similar result. He tried to ignore the cries of laughter emitting from Discord's mouth.
Tim only managed to pick it up when he pressed both his hooves on either side of it. He growled all the while, as much at himself as he did at his chaotic companion. He awkwardly swayed on his haunches as he dug into the soil. The task took all his concentration, and he stuck his tongue out to the side as he fixated on it. This was his last ditch effort to communicate to her. He had to make it work.
The stick abruptly snapped in half.
There were no words to describe his devastation. Another attempt at communication had utterly failed. He slammed his face into the ground and covered his face with his hooves. Discord's laughter grew more intense, but he unexpectedly halted without provocation, much to Tim's relief.
"A-are you okay?" came the sound of Fluttershy's voice.
No, there was no way he could give up now. This had to work. He redoubled his efforts, picking himself back up and taking half of the remaining branch. His hooves now completely encompassed his utensil, making his efforts even more difficult, but he was finally successful in finishing his message. 'Take me home, Discord.'
"Oh dear, you don't suppose he's lost, do you Discord? Poor thing. A little colt out in the wilderness all by himself." Fluttershy leaned down to Tim’s eye level. "If you'd like, you can come stay with me for the evening and we can search for your parents in the morning. How does that sound?"
Unsympathetic towards Tim's plight, and perhaps jealous at the attention he was being given, the Lord of Chaos begrudgingly said, "I doubt it's as serious as that. There's no need for you to worry yourself, my dear friend. In my capable hands, I'll make sure he makes it back home safe and sound."
A second Discord appeared in brilliant fashion. The new Discord, dressed in a butler’s outfit, sensually massaged Fluttershy’s withers. She emitted a sheepish cry.
"You must be tired from such long day of hard labor. Wouldn't you like to leave the rest up to me and take a well-deserved break at home?" Discord asked.
"It's... mm... no problem at all, really.” A rosy hue adorned Fluttershy’s cheeks as she tried to reason with her friend. “I would love to help him find his family. He must be dying to get back home to his parents. Just look at how scared he is."
Fluttershy had misinterpreted the source of Tim’s fright. He shivered and took a step back at both Discords. Having one of them was bad enough, but he didn’t know how to deal with two.
"Won't you reconsider? You look so tense." Discord squeezed her shoulders with his paws deeper, working out the kinks. "Just look at all the stress you're putting on yourself."
"Are you sure? Handling a foal can be a huge responsibility." The yellow mare shut her eyes as she revelled in the feeling of being massaged. Peace overcame her for an instant before she reopened them in wonder. "Hey, is there something you're not telling me? You seem awfully motivated to send me home."
"Whatever do you mean? Aren't I allowed to worry over my best friend's well-being?" Discord seemed anxious as he tried to maintain his facade.
"Well, no, it's just you normally wouldn't offer to do something like this on your own. What are you up to?" It was impossible to miss her accusing tone.
"Fluttershy." The first Discord picked Tim up by the hooves and said, "We are practically friends already." A spotlight shined down on them as Discord twirled him emphatically. "And I'd do anything for my friends, wouldn't I? This practically calls for a celebration!" As if to prove a point to Fluttershy, the lunatic began emphatically dancing around with him dangling off of his paws.
The world spun around Tim as he struggled to reorient himself within Discord's grasp. As soon as his momentum slowed, he realized that behind him a row of Discords dressed in suits and ties had appeared, all dancing in sync as they lifted their legs to the beat of a music he hadn’t yet seen.
He was abruptly passed off to one of the slithering horrors at the end of the row; he progressed unwillingly down the line in the same manner. Upon reaching the end, he was flung into the air. Everything became a blur of brown, gray, and green as he sailed higher and higher.
The whole experience of falling through the air might've been exhilarating if it weren’t for his impromptu greeting with Discord and his concussion. The rush of wind against his hair as he fell actually felt nice. He knew better than to relish in the feeling, however. It was only a matter of time before he was thrown around more and injured as a result.
"Discord! I would appreciate it if you put him down, gently." He heard Fluttershy cry in fright.
"Oh, very well," Discord said.
Paws pressed against him, slowing his descent until his hooves rested safely on the ground once more. Through laborious breathing he shifted his gaze all around him. Adrenaline, anxiety, and anticipation were dominating his every faculty.
He couldn’t help but snap at the absurdity of the situation. Frightened by what may come next, he delved deeper into the forest. Nothing could stop him anymore, for he needed to get away from everything or risk succumbing to the insanity.
Fluttershy’s faint cry didn’t deter him in the slightest. He galloped onward even after he could no longer hear them. He felt the lingering sensation of eyes watching him, so he persisted, scurrying around trees and boulders until he was too exhausted to continue.
His pace came to a dead stop. He had become thoroughly lost, and as his adrenaline subsided, his head throbbed intensely once more. Dizziness overcame him, and he closed his eyes to escape the disorientation that followed. After laying on the ground to rest, he hardly noticed his slumber take hold.
The propensity for any individual to have some control over their lives is not only desirable, it is necessary. Should this need not be met, one could very well find themselves drifting, as they would down a river, toward a meager and pitiful existence.
As Tim has already discovered, he lost the control of his life the moment Discord chose to bring him to Equestria. His only hope of return remains with that very same offender, who has given him the impossible task of avoiding Equestria’s citizens.
Truly he had failed before he ever began, for his unconsciousness has left him subject to the chaotic whims of mother nature. What remains to be seen is how Discord will continue his twisted game and what lies in store for Tim.
When Tim next awoke, he found himself in unfamiliar surroundings. He was resting atop a bed in the corner of a small room. The change in scenery came unexpectedly, though not altogether unpleasant.
He ran his forehooves across silky fabric, relishing in its soft touch. The sun’s rays filtered in through a window to his left, although it wasn’t yet bright enough to become oppressive. The walls in his immediate vicinity appeared to be made of a warm shade of wood.
It wasn’t hard to sink back into the comfort of the mattress and close his eyes. Sleep didn’t return to him, but he found himself relieved of stress regardless. The tribulations of the prior day were a thing of the past.
“I see that you’re now awake. Did that fall give you a headache?”
Tim reopened his eyes to find a zebra standing nearby. From the way she was looking at him, he concluded that she had been watching him. This place must be her home, though he didn’t understand why she would help a total stranger.
Come to think of it, the pegasus from the previous night seemed to share a similar sentiment. They both seemed to trust others too easily, which seemed as disturbing as it was a blessing.
How common was this behavior, and how deep would it go? He couldn’t help but worry over how easy he could break that trust. At the same time, finding help would not be so difficult as he first imagined.
“If it’s a brew you seek, you only need to speak,” she said.
Tim shook his head. He tried to push the growing pang of frustration down; it wasn’t her fault that she wasn’t aware of his disability. In spite of his best efforts, the feelings were there: embarrassment, anger, and sadness. This was something he didn’t think he would have to go through again.
“Why do you stare off into space, wearing that sad, gloomy face?”
He stared at the zebra and, seeing no other recourse, opened his mouth to point at it. Then, he shrugged and flung the covers over his face. He hoped that she would take the hint to drop the subject altogether.
“If it’s a curse which restrains your speech, then perhaps a talk is out of reach,” the zebra said. “But there are other ways we can chit-chat, instead of holding your tongue like a cat.”
Tim jumped with a start as he felt weight press onto the bed. His host was holding out a quill and paper for him to take. He took the gift hesitantly and stared at it.
“There, now you’re not looking so glum.” She patted his back gently. “Can you tell me from what lands you come?”
He relented and began jotting down everything he could; if she could somehow direct him on the right path home, then he’d take it. He’d already failed Discord’s unreasonable game by breaking the rule of no contact. It was time for him to take matters into his own hand—or rather, hoof.
An ear-splitting pop suddenly resounded through the small hut. The disruption gave Tim a scare, and his hooves tore the half-written message in two. After he calmed down, he scoured his environment for the cause. It had been none other than Discord.
“How dare you intrude my abode,” the zebra yelled, “I think you should now hit the—”
Discord touched her muzzle, and she was sound asleep before she could finish her sentence. He clapped his paws afterward as if to pat dust off them. “Must she say everything in rhyme? We simply haven’t got the time.” He gasped in surprise. “Now she’s got me doing it!”
Tim clambered as far away from the very individual that plagued him every waking second. He briefly wondered if there was no end to this, if he was doomed to forever be a plaything.
“I thought I was very specific about the rules of our little game.” Discord snapped his fingers and a very thick rulebook appeared before him. “No allowing yourself to get caught. Oh well, you can’t win them all I suppose.”
After Discord dropped the book, it began flapping its covers and flew out the window. Tim watched it grow smaller until the draconequus got his attention once more.
“I’m normally not one for giving out second chances, but the fun would be over far too soon if we called it quits here. Still, this breach can’t be ignored. What to do...” The supreme lord of chaos stroked his beard.
There was a moment where Tim was being ignored. He slowly skirted around Discord, watching for signs of being discovered. The draconequus, without pulling away from his reverie, snapped his fingers and stopped the colt in his tracks.
“I have just the thing. Oh, Discord you’re a genius.” Discord’s expression was full of glee.
Another Discord, dressed in a white lab-coat and oversized goggles, popped into existence beside the first. He remained stoic as he said, “Why thank you, Discord. You’re too kind.”
“If you blatantly ignore the rules, then you just need a bit of encouragement to walk the straight and narrow.” He then tapped Tim on the nose. A faint glow emanated from the colt before it subsided. “There, all done.”
The draconequus guffawed as he and his double vanished, leaving Tim very confused as the laugh echoed throughout the hut. Despite his ominous message, nothing seemed different.
Soon after Discord’s departure, the zebra finally came around. She groaned through clenched eyes. “I know not what has just transpired, to make me so suddenly tired.”
A fascination overcame her as she saw Tim. She encroached upon his personal space, draping an foreleg around his shoulder, with their faces mere inches apart.
“After seeing you stand in my place, I must coddle that charming young face.” She wore a horrifying smile and pinched his cheek.
Tim pulled away. He then launched himself under the zebra’s grasping hooves as she tried to give him a smooch on the cheek. If it weren’t for the smile, given as if she’d snapped, then he might have welcomed the show of motherly affection.
When she looked back at him with hearts for eyes, he bolted for the hut’s entrance. She wasn’t far behind him, and he was nearly caught by the time he reached the door and slammed it in her face.
After a few laborious breaths, and her knocking on the door died down, he emitted a sigh of relief. The smashing of glass from a nearby window and her leaping form snapped him back into motion.
Together they weaved through the trees of the Everfree Forest. She acted like a lovesick puppy, refusing to be yield in her pursuit. Neither the branches she ducked under nor the bushes she bounded over slowed her in the slightest.
There wasn’t much time to think his actions through. He made a turn around a nearby tree, jumped for one of its branches once he was out of her sight, and climbed in very quick succession.
All of his efforts were in vain, for she immediately caught onto his evasion. She rested a hoof on the tree which he found purchase on. “What a great honor I would bear, and I’d be a good mother, I swear.”
She tried to climb up after him, but just as she reached the branch he stood upon, he flung himself off the tree and fell into a roll. He was then able to right himself once more with a deftness he wasn’t aware he possessed. He was so proud of himself that he chanced a look back at her and immediately regretted it. She had recovered quickly, abandoning her position on the tree, and was still on his tail.
With their chase reinvigorated, Tim nearly tumbled as he broke out into a run. Though his freedom was in peril, he couldn’t ignore the twigs and leaves his mane now adorned. This discomfort was accompanied by his aching muscles, which protested against his awkward movements.
The zebra called out to him. “Maybe I should make a few toys. Something flashy and fun for boys.”
He resisted the urge to look over his shoulders. Instead, his eyes quickly scanned through the flora around them for a quick escape. Nothing immediately revealed itself to him as advantageous, but he did spot gully fastly approaching. It wasn’t large, but it was deep and wide enough to present him a problem.
Panic almost set in, and he was already picturing himself being caught when he spotted a nearby tree which stood at a forty-five degree angle. It looked ready to fall at any moment, and an idea popped into his head.
He went straight for it, hoping that his estimate wasn’t far off. One after the other, they scaled up the side of the tree. It wasn’t too long before they reached the end, and by then they were standing just over the gully.
Unfortunately for him, the tree still hadn’t given under the stress of their weight. He turned toward the zebra, and slowly backed up. His pursuer was carefully in her ascent. With every step she took, he could feel the wood underneath their hooves buckle a little more.
“This is quite dangerous, little one. We should go back where it’s safe and fun,” she said.
After they each took one final step, in which Tim very nearly fell due to lack of walking space alone, the tree finally snapped. The two of them clung on for dear life as they approached the ground as one.
Tim closed his eyes, waiting for the whole world to implode. At some point, he lost grip of his support and slipped away. His body tumbled down into the gully, where his fall was cushioned only by the foliage below.
The zebra, who similarly clenched her eyes shut, and when everything finally settled, she looked at her surroundings in search of him. The tree which she stood upon now acted as a bridge, but she was now alone. She had finally lost sight of the colt.
After a few moments without any contact with him, she seemed to have finally regained her senses. “I don’t understand how I got here, or where that colt has gone, I fear, but I have so much to do today, and little time to be led astray.”
She walked away, acting as though she hadn’t just been chasing him. Once she disappeared from the edge of the gully, Tim was left alone to wonder what had just happened. There was no doubt in his mind that Discord played a role in all this, but he was unsure what could have caused the zebra’s sudden loss of interest.
Then it occurred to him what Discord had said to him just before the start of all this. Whatever he had done, it had something to do with ponies’ perception of him. He presumed it was to prevent him from asking for help. He still didn’t know to what extent Discord’s manipulations affected other ponies, whether it was limited to somepony he sought help from or it applied to all ponies regardless. He wasn’t too keen on finding that out though, and as long as he kept out of sight, there was no need to worry.
The smell of food, which prompted his stomach to rumble, distracted him from his thoughts. He briefly entertained the thought of roughing it out, but he quickly discounted that option. He may have been knowledgeable enough of the flora back on his home to do it, but there were too many unknowns here.
After feeling another grumble, he decided to risk subjecting himself to further torture. He might luck out and receive no penalty for his actions.
As it turned out, he wasn’t too far from society. In fact, it only took him a few steps before the grove of trees gave away to the outskirts of a small village. The source of the aroma wasn’t quite in sight, but he couldn’t have been far from it.
He took a few steps tentatively, checking for any signs of movement. There was nothing so far, but he was ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. He eventually honed in on a cabin and closed his distance from it.
It wasn’t particularly spectacular, but it was fairly sizable. There were a number of wild animals loafing about it, which he found out, but none of them minded him in the slightest.
The sound of shrieks, followed shortly thereafter by laughter, suddenly pierced the quiet. He winced, both because he was scared of being caught out in the open and because the cries hurt his eardrums. The back door then opened, revealing three excited fillies. One of them was a pegasus with an orange coat of hair and purple mane. Another appeared to be a white unicorn who had a head of violet and pink hair. The final pony with yellow hair wore a pink bow in her red mane.
Tim was frozen in place, though the girls didn’t immediately take notice of him. He watched as they hopped around in circles with smiles upon their faces.
After they calmed down a bit, the yellow pony said, “Today’s the day, girls. I can just feel it. I reckon we’ll get our cutie marks in raising animals!”
“My cutie mark will be in taming ferocious beasts.” The pegasus growled and reared onto her haunches in mock imitation of one.
“Oh, oh! I can’t wait to take care of Fluttershy’s insects, the butterflies especially. They’re quite majestic,” said the unicorn.
An older pony Tim recognized as Fluttershy stepped out into the yard and joined them. “Now, girls. There’s no need to rush. You’ll each have plenty of time to get your chance.”
The fillies shouted as one in glee. They scattered, and as it turned out, they didn’t have to go too far to reach their destinations. The elder pony’s request for patience was utterly ignored.
“Oh dear.” The mare seemed uncertain whether she could keep up with them. She then, unsurprisingly, noticed Tim along her way to the nearest filly. “Oh dear.”
It all happened so fast. She was standing next to him before he had the chance to recover. Tim spent the next few moments questioning the pondering the meaning of life as Fluttershy set herself to the task of clearing out the filth in his mane and then straightening it.
He tried to protest, to extract himself from her unsolicited kindness, but his stomach betrayed him. The last traces of his freedom shriveled up with its gurgling. He whimpered inaudibly before resigning himself to his fate and giving one last prayer.
“You poor thing. It sounds like you could use some food,” Fluttershy said. “How does a nice cucumber sandwich sound?”
Fate had miraculously spared him. There were no chaotic surprises waiting to jump out at him, no overbearing motherly affection yet, and, most importantly, no Discord to intervene. He had found respite in this cold and inhospitable world at last.
“Look girls, somepony’s come to join us. And he’s handsome, too.”
Tim wasn’t sure which one of the girls had said it, but it didn’t matter. They all crowded around him in the blink of an eye, staring at him longingly. He suddenly wished that he hadn’t tempted fate.
“You reckon we can get a cutie mark in romance?” the filly wearing the bow asked.
“With those good looks, I don’t even care about a cutie mark anymore. Just look at those defined muscles,” the orange filly said.
“I really like his mane!”
The three girls hopped around him in circles. They didn’t do anything more than look at him, but they tried to cajole him into becoming an amicable partner. Though his life wasn’t in any danger, it was enough to shatter the remnants of his sanity.
He brushed past them as he broke out into a run. They called back to him, but he didn’t pay close attention. Instead, he trained his attention solely on the brick road opening up to him. It spilled out into what appeared to be the town square up ahead. The journey there was sure to attract even more attention to him, but with the girls following him close behind, he had no other choice.
The hunger still gnawed at him as he fled the cottage, begging him to stay with Fluttershy even in the midst the chaos, but there wasn’t much that could be done about it now. He would just have to wait until another opportunity presented itself. It would have to be in the evening, when most of the ponies were asleep; he wished he didn’t have to resort to stealing, but the alternative was unthinkable.
It didn’t take long for Tim to reach the junction. The population wasn’t as dense as he expected, but it still had its fair share of townsfolk. A small cafe stood out to him in particular. A couple was seated in one of the chairs near it, and they were in the middle of an enjoyable burger of some kind when they spotted him. Like most everyone else he’d come into contact with, they were not immune to the chaotic whims that plagued him, and so they soon joined in on the chase of the century.
“We saw him first!” one of the fillies yelled to the couple. “He’s going to be an honorary member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
“He looks like the long lost son I never had,” said somepony else who had also joined in on the chase.
Tim tuned out the rest of the conversation and others like it that sprung up all around him. There was simply too much going on by then for him to keep up.
The route he took wasn’t well thought out, but all the planning in the world couldn’t have prepared him for any of this in the first place. The best that he could hope for at that point was to keep himself from being cut off by any newcomers and keep up long enough to shake the half a dozen or so pursuers he had by then.
One of them nearly grabbed him, and after he rounded the corner, he became worried over how much longer he would be able to keep this up. Exhaustion, from the hunger as much as it was from running, crept up on him.
Try as he might, his worst fears had come true when he toppled end over end. With his capture all but ensured, he clenched his eyes shut and hoped that it would be over quickly.
After several moments of waiting, he realized nothing was happening. The sight he found when he opened his eyes only served to befuddle him even further. Everypony near him was enshrouded by an energy field of some sort. They continued trying, with no avail, to reach him.
“Anyone care to tell me what in Equestria is going on?” Somepony, a mare by the sound of it, yelled.
Tim didn’t bother trying to answer her. If there was one thing he learned from by this point, it was that doing anything that didn’t fall in line Discord’s rules immediately resulted in being torture by his magical devices. There may have still been a way home for him, by his help didn’t lie in others. For all he knew, this mare would behave just as the others had before her.
Except that she didn’t, and that was never more evident than when she approached him. “Is everything alright? You don’t look too well.”
Something about the pony in front of Tim set her apart from the ponies he’d met up until now. Whereas the others possessed wings, horns, or neither, she had both. She had an immaculate coat of purple hair. Her mane was a shade darker with a pink streak. As the wind blew, she had to brush it away from her face with a hoof. That same hoof was then extended out to him to take.
She was perfect in every sense of the word, and her very presence alone made him forget about all his problems. The contact between their hooves was brief, as it was only meant to help him up. It felt like an eternity for him, though, and when it ended, his hoof felt as cold as ice.
“So...” She scratched the ground slowly. “You seem new to Ponyville. Welcome. Trust me, this sort of thing doesn’t usually happen to our newcomers. That doesn’t come until after you’ve been invited to a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, and since Pinkie Pie’s not here, I know that can’t be it.
“I imagine after the trouble you’ve been through, you’ll want to get some rest. I don’t usually have guests, but Spike and I would be thrilled to have you over. My castle is over this way.” The mare then started away.
Tim was rooted in place, scarcely able to believe the embodiment of beauty, the very pony who captured his affections, was royalty. He had died and gone to heaven.
The mare must have noticed by now that he hadn’t moved up to her side. “I’ll understand if you have other matters to attend to.”
When he saw that she was awaiting for an answer, he shook his head and caught up with her. Now that they were side-by-side, all was as it should be.
No sooner than Tim was sure, once and for all, that he had peace and quiet with his soon-to-be beloved, Discord popped into existence once more. The draconequus appeared positively furious, as if Tim had committed a faux pas.
“No! This isn’t how it was supposed to go down at all!” He slammed a book he’d been reading shut, and it exploded into flames. Dust was all that remained of it a mere moment later.
He then mumbled, “I swear, you give them an ounce of freedom, and they go a mile. I might as well undo our little charade.” He snapped his fingers, undoing a spell he had cast on the colt. It was as Tim had predicted. “There, I promise no permanent damage has befallen him.”
What Discord hadn’t predicted, however, were the consequences of exposing to much chaos magic to someone not indigenous to Equestria, or the rest of their world for that matter. For as soon as he undid the spell on Tim, the colt felt utter agony coursing through his body. He crumpled over, his consciousness fading fast.
“What did you do?” he heard the mare yell.
“I don’t know. I didn’t expect this to happen...” Everything gradually faded into darkness.
There comes a time when every individual must face his or her greatest fears. Without any foreknowledge to rely upon, this can be the most difficult thing for someone to do. A person who manages to overcome the despair is stronger for it, but one’s nightmares are only reaffirmed when it’s too much to fight.
One might suggest that Tim, who has already gone through unspeakable horrors, must have become strong in his own right. That he survived the machinations–what one would call schemes of nefarious design–of Discord’s twisted game was a testament to the justifiable fears he surely conquered.
As we’re about to find out, however, that couldn’t be further from the truth. For what he is about to experience bears no resemblance to even the darkest terrors of the night.
Tim's pain was the only thing he registered when he regained consciousness. He was distinctly aware that he awoke yet again in an unfamiliar bed. Its fabric, which was warm and inviting, draped over him. He clung onto it for dear life, wishing for the embrace of sleep to return. No matter how much he wanted it, though, it didn’t, and he furrowed his brow and groaned.
He vaguely heard someone murmuring somewhere in the distance, but his growing migraine dwarfed his curiosity. Whoever was talking, he couldn’t make anything out until a door suddenly opened to his right. One of the strangers was undeniably Fluttershy, but he couldn’t easily distinguish the other.
“Thank you for coming over to help me keep him calm. Anything could happen where Discord is involved, and I had to make sure you were there to see him when he wakes up.”
“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” Fluttershy replied. “I’m glad he’s alright. It must have been really frightening to have everypony chasing after him. The poor foal.”
“Apparently Discord cast a spell on him that caused everypony to obsess taking care of him. I don’t understand why he’d want to do that, though. I mean, has he gone crazy?”
Tim craned his neck to listen into the conversation easier. His muscles ached slightly, but they obeyed him willingly after he took a wistful sigh.
“He’s awake,” said the stranger.
When his eyes finally creaked open, the light in the room was thankfully dim. One of the ponies standing near his bed was unquestioningly Fluttershy. The other one he registered as the lavender mare he’d met in the street.
“How are you feeling?” Fluttershy asked. She turned to her companion when didn’t catch Tim’s automatic use of sign language. “Maybe we ought to let him get some more rest, Twilight.”
The mare known as Twilight trained her eyes on him, studying him from head to hoof. “Has he ever said anything to you?”
“No, I don’t think so. I think he’s trying to tell us something, but I never really learned sign language,” the pegasus admitted with a blush.
Thoughts of how she was much more observant than she seemed ran through Tim’s mind. It spoke volumes of her wisdom. He wondered about the conversations they could have, if only he possessed the ability to talk.
He shifted his focus back to Twilight when she told him about the preceding night. From the way she spoke, she must be caught up with most of the details of Tim’s misfortunate journey. He didn’t have the slightest clue as to why, though.
“So you see,” she said, “we need you to tell us more about your world. The more details I know, the easier it’ll be for me to send you home. I would ask Discord, but for some reason he didn’t bother to check what dimension he pulled you from.”
Tim was taken aback by the statement. Did his ears deceive him? Would he finally be returned and then be able to put all of this behind him? He could wake up in his bed tomorrow and think it all a dream.
It was a fleeting daydream, and he had to remind himself not to count his chickens before they hatched. There was much that still needed to be done before then, and he needed to find a way of describing his home to her before that. That part would be easy if he could find a writing utensil. At least he wouldn’t have to rely on the chaotic whims of a god to do it.
Tim wept with unbridled joy. The possibility of being rid of Discord was the most sensational news of all. There were no greater rewards one could aspire to achieve.
“Now if only we have a way to communicate effectively. Spike,” Twilight called out behind her, “could you get the—”
“Perhaps I could be of some assistance. After all, isn’t that what friends are for?” Tim knew the sound of that voice anywhere. The supreme chancellor of all things chaotic had once again interjected himself where he wasn’t invited.
Tim swore from that moment on that he would never again question a good thing when it came. He wouldn’t even acknowledge it as a good thing. Why would he when every single time he did, it was immediately thrown back at his face as proof that he didn’t deserve happiness? He wept tears of heartbreak at the very implications of such a travesty.
“Absolutely not.” He had allies in high places after all, through Twilight. “The last time you cast something on him, it backfired. It could have been worse.”
“The way you say that you’d think I’d put somebody’s life in danger or something. I thought surely you of all ponies would understand that my chaos magic has its quirks. But never once have I willingly used it to put another’s life at risk.” Discord turned to Tim and continued, “You can vouch for me, can you not? No? Yeesh, tough crowd.”
Twilight glowered at Discord and stomped one of her forehooves on the ground. “How can you assure Tim’s safety? Do you even know what happened?”
“If you must know, I’ve been poking around through the multiverse and happened to come across some interesting phenomena. And I’m not talking about the dimension hoppers from Qualon Beta Prime. Those guys know how to ruin a good crossover.” Discord waved his paw in a circle dismissively.
“And? What have you found out?” Twilight asked.
“All things will be explained if you express a modicum of patience, Princess.” Discord smirked and craned his neck so that it hung over Twilight and his head was on the other side of her. “I can see why you use such big words. ‘Modicum.’ They make one sound sophisticated.”
A large top hat and monocle flashed into existence on Discord’s face. He pinched his beard while he held his other arm behind him. He stood straight and poised, ready for whatever may come his way.
“Can we get to the point?” It was impossible to miss the annoyance practically dripping out of Twilight’s voice.
“Oh very well.” Discord cleared his throat rather vociferously. “Mortals such as yourself can be so vulnerable. Who knew? Well, wouldn’t you have it? Crossing over into other dimensions can have dire consequences. For example, when someone comes from a dimension that doesn’t contain any magic, say little Timmy here, then it can have strange effects when it’s directly applied to him. He may not have even been a pony where he came from.”
“But that doesn’t even make sense. How can you not have magic?” Twilight asked.
“It doesn’t have to make sense. That’s just the way it is. It’s delightfully chaotic, I know!” Discord tapped his digits gleefully and giggled. Then, after remembering where he was, he calmed down. “Right, well, the bottom line is that I can minimize those side-effects by tuning my magic to account for this magical variance. All I need to know is what I’m looking for, and it’ll be a cinch.
“Which brings me to my offer to you, Twilight. I can solve all our communication problems with the simple snap of my fingers.” He then added, “And there will be minimal risk to his well-being.”
Tim considered their treatment of him as if he wasn’t even there, and he was startled Discord’s dismissive attitude. The outcome of the conversation could have a tremendous impact on his life, and he didn’t have any say in the matter. He was especially disturbed when Twilight stopped and seemed to consider the offer.
“Are you sure...?” Twilight asked.
No, Tim thought, how could he stop this from happening? He would have to do something to save them all from his mischief, but he wasn’t sure what.
“What was the saying you ponies always say when you want to keep a promise?” Discord asked. “Cross my hopes, put my heart in a cupcake, and then stick it in my eye.”
Silence fell on the room. Tim had no idea what any of what the statement meant, and it appeared as though no one else did either. Fluttershy didn’t seem to want to impose on their conversation, and she alternated between staring at him and the floor. Discord, on the other hand, had a toothy grin and an eagerness in his bounce.
When Twilight finally spoke, it was in a slow drawl. “...Nothing about that statement was right.”
“Oh phooey, you know what I mean. I promise nothing bad will happen to this poor colt.” Discord's back was to him because of where he placed himself. He and only he could see the lord of chaos's fingers crossed behind his back.
Panic set in for Tim. He’d been right after all. Discord was deceiving them. He had to get out of there, but there didn’t seem to be any way to avoid being detected yet.
Discord seemed to subdue Twilight's apprehension, as she was now taking his explanation into careful consideration. She eventually said, “I don’t know. It still sounds like a risky bet to make. I don’t think it’d be fair to make this decision without at least consulting him first.”
The lavender mare then turned to him. “The choice of whether or not to take a chance with Discord’s spell is up to you. What do you want to do?”
Tim vehemently refused, shaking his head until he became light-headed. He held his temples until the dizziness subsided. Relief washed over him when the girls honored his wish.
“Fine, you’re all a bunch of party-poopers.” Discord crossed his arms and scowled.
Then, just as quickly as he became upset, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Before I retire for the evening, there’s a little something you should be made aware. The dimensional rifts between our realities are chaotic by nature. It’s truly a beauty of nature. They move along with the passage of time at different speeds. It’s a bit too complicated for your simple minds to fully comprehend. If his dimension goes too far out of alignment with our own, there’s no telling how long it’ll be before they become realigned. It could be a week...or it could take a century.”
“And with that, I shall bid you all adieu,” he said after he gave them all a moment to process everything. He laughed maniacally and disappeared into a puff of smoke.
“That doesn’t sound good. How much time do you suppose we’ll have?” Fluttershy’s ears folded back as she bit her lip. She focused her attention on Twilight, waiting for the other mare take the reins.
“Without the proper tools to measure, I can’t be sure. We’ll need to extract the necessary data and send him home before it's too late.” Twilight sped into action. “I’ve got an idea. I’ll be right back.”
Twilight returned with a chalkboard that spanned from bedpost to bedpost. She guided it by what he could only surmise as magic until it stood at the foot of his bed. A piece of chalk then levitated over to him, as if waiting for him to take it.
“Uhh, Twilight? I don’t know if he can effectively write himself. He seemed to struggle with it when I was with him last night,” Fluttershy said.
“Oh, right.” Twilight chuckled sheepishly and retrieved the utensil to use it herself. She began scribbling onto the board. “I think we’ll have to do this the old fashioned way then.”
She arranged the whole alphabet in order on the board before saying, “I’ll ask you a series of questions. We’ll go through the alphabet for your responses one letter at a time. It’s not exactly the most efficient method of communication, but as long as I ask the right questions, it’s the fastest solution I know.”
“Alright, let’s begin. What’s your name?” It took a few moments, but Tim was able to answer the question.
“Where are you from?” That too was answered in short order.
It was a lengthy process that was only considerably sped up by his efforts. He pointed to a grouping of letters, which Twilight would recite until she hit the mark.
It took Twilight some finagling with some of her questions to make sure he understood what she was asking. After a few hours, she had a small list of answers, which she had jotted off to the side of the alphabet. The compiled list included: ‘Tim’, ‘NewJerseyUnitedStatesofAmerica’, ‘20 years old’, ‘human’, ‘bipedal’, ‘4 feet tall’, ‘hands’, ‘feet’, ‘no hair’, and it went on.
At some point during their endeavors, Fluttershy had nodded off and was drooling into Tim’s pillow. She was softly snoring, which prompted him to check on her. Twilight hadn’t seemed too keen on disturbing her, though.
Twilight, excited by their discoveries, made an outburst which awoke the napping pegasus. Fluttershy blinked away the tiredness behind her eyes and then studied their progress.
“Have you finished already?” Fluttershy was peering over at the door, making no effort to hide her desire to leave for home.
“Not quite, but we can work with this. Now I can begin mapping out potential factors through cross analysis of his answers. We might get an exact match after a thousand more iterations of this.” Twilight gave a cheeky smile before she dove back into some calculations.
“That sounds like it’s going to take a while. Are you sure we have enough time for all that?” Fluttershy asked.
“By my estimate, we should be finished with it by the end of next week!” After a moment of contemplation, she nervously scratched her mane. “We might be here a while. Come to think of it, I don't even know how to process one of these answers. NewJersa-what? That sounds made up.”
“I’m beginning to think taking Discord up on his offer may not be such a bad idea after all. I know he can be a bit odd at times, but ever since we’ve become his friend, he hasn’t steered us wrong. Okay, aside from the time Tirek tried to steal all our magic... and that other time.” Fluttershy shuddered at the unpleasant memories.
“Is this supposed to be convincing me?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Because it’s not working.”
“Okay, so maybe you have reason not to trust him with something like this. But this–” she waved at the board of answers “–could have been answered in ten minutes instead of two hours.”
“You have a point.” Twilight gave an irritable sigh and walked back over to Tim’s side. “The way we’re going about this is taking significantly longer than I anticipated. As much as I want to continue down the path we’re already on, we may not have enough time. Whatever you decide to do, it’s your decision.”
Tim was faced with one of the toughest decisions of his life. He knew Discord was up to something, but he didn’t have any way to gauge how much of what the demon spawn said was fact or fiction. Did he dare risk the consequences of placing his trust in someone who has already proven himself distrustworthy? He very well may have to do so anyways if he ever had any hope of returning home.
In the end, he found his choice was never really a choice in the first place. He’d simply have to suffer through whatever the draconequus had in store for him. At long last, after several tedious hours of trying the rational approach, he relented with a nod.
Discord popped back into the room without warning. He bounced all around, barely able to contain the glee inside him.
“Yes!” Discord snapped his fingers. “Speak, oh little one, and let your voice be heard.”
Tim was frozen in place. He felt no change. Had Discord’s spell already gone into effect?
“Are you able to speak with us now?” Twilight asked. She and Fluttershy had stepped closer to him.
“You, uhm, don’t have to speak if you don’t want to.” There was a serenity Fluttershy’s eye contact. Out of everyone in the room, she was the most pleasant to be around at the moment.
He retreated further into the bed, terrified of what it would mean to try and fail to speak again. That this was some sick game that could only ever result in him being the laughing stock of the town.
Still, they were now keen on him talking. They might not let him go until he tried. Even if Discord’s magic was successful, he’d never spoken before. There was no telling what his voice would be like.
He knew it shouldn't affect him as much as it did, but he couldn’t help it. His trait, which he had lived with for as long as he could remember, had been a negative impact on his life in more ways than one. The worst part about it was how lonely he’d been as a result of it; nobody his age bothered to learn sign language. So he turned to books to keep him company instead.
“Would you mind speeding it along? Some of us haven’t got all day.” A clock on the wall suddenly sprung to life, and it hopped over Discord’s shoulder and onto the bed.
“H-h-hello?” Tim’s voice cracked. It was all over the place and difficult to get a good handle on, but it was his voice. “I-I-I c-c-can t-t-talk.”
“Great!” Twilight cried in relief. “Maybe you can tell us more about your home.”
The question flew right over Tim’s head. He was so taken with the idea of finally being able to speak. His entire opinion of Discord changed on a dime. The lord of chaos was an omnipotent and benevolent being who was only capable of doing good.
“I can speak! Oh my God, I’ve never been able to before,” Tim pressed his hooves to his cheeks. “There’s so much I wanna say. So much I wanna do. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“I’m regretting this already,” Discord deadpanned.
Tim leaned forward on the bed to get closer to the mares. He toppled over, sending all three of them rolling onto the floor. A collective groan from the trio followed the crash.
“Sorry about that.” He jumped up right away and went over to help them up. “There’s just so much to talk about. Fluttershy, you must have boundless wisdom stored away in that noggin of yours. You’re so observant. From our very first meeting, you knew how I was trying to communicate with you and could tell how hard it was for me to write in this body. I mean, I guess it wasn’t that hard to figure out, but I wish I’d been able to tell you back then so that I didn’t have to go through will all this mess.”
“Uhm, thanks, I guess?” Fluttershy sat on her haunches and stared back him confusedly.
“And you,” he turned to Twilight, “are really intelligent. I can tell that much after the last few hours. I mean, we did just sit through hours of tedium to convey the most basic concepts. You oddly phrased some of your questions, but it doesn’t take a genius to realize you were being particular with them to get specific answers. Am I talking too much? Please tell me I’m not. It’s just, I’m so excited about having my own voice. After living my entire life, I’ve never known how thrilling it could be!”
“Make it stop!” Discord held his paws to his ears.
For the first time since Tim had come to know him, he acted as if he’d just found true horror. After being on the receiving end of the chaos for so long, it was impossible not to notice the effect he was having on him. He would take delight in torturing him.
He stepped over to Discord, puffed out his chest to make him appear bigger than he really was, and said, “Stop? Why would I stop? I still need to tell you all so much about myself and where I come from, right? I mean, that is why you cast that spell on me. And as we all very well know from past experience, I am negatively affected by magic, so we might as well make the most of things while we still can. You can’t shut me up yet. There’s still so much left that I need to say. And you of all people are to blame for this in the first place, so you have no room to talk.”
“Yada, yada, I’m not listening!” Discord produced the thickest earmuffs he could feasibly wear and then slapped them on his ears.
“I might as well start talking more about myself. I–” Tim couldn’t finish his statement, for Discord snapped his fingers together with unrestrained frustration.
“I couldn’t take it anymore,” Discord announced. “I never thought I’d rue the day where I created chaos.”
“But what about the information we need?” Twilight stomped her hoof on the ground. “What I’ve gathered so far can’t possibly be enough to extrapolate the precise dimension he’s from!”
Discord wiggled his finger and raised his chin. He was practically glowing with pride. “Shame on you, Twilight. There is more than one way to make an omelette.”
The splitting headache made it difficult for Tim to follow the conversation. His vision, impaired to the point where he was seeing double of everything, only made it worse, and he clenched his eyes shut.
“I am not bound by the same rules as you mortals,” Discord continued. “I can simply extract the information directly out of his head.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea...” Fluttershy mumbled.
“Wait, Discord no!” Twilight cried out.
The entire room exploded into a cacophony of bizarre sounds. A rush of wind slammed into Tim and then enveloped him. Even though his eyes were closed, it seemed as though he was suddenly staring into the sun. Light simply encompassed everything around him.
“Did he just...?” Fluttershy’s voice trailed off.
“Not good, not good.” Twilight was panicking. “I think Discord just entered Tim’s mind, and it’s set off a chain reaction that’s put all of Equestria in danger! If we don’t do something quickly, this magical surge will be too much for us to handle!”
Everything was happening so fast, it was hard for him to tell what was going on. One thing he could determine, though, was that he no longer felt the ground underneath his hooves. He was terrified, wanted whatever was happening to just stop. Then, at least for him, it did.
The means by which one discerns reality from fiction can be a subjective and often fickle process. One can only rely on his or her understanding of the world. Suggesting otherwise creates the conditions by which misunderstanding can breed ignorance and delusion. Failing to be cognizant of that possibility could yield disastrous results without proper consideration. The very idea of that anything could be absolute is preposterous. And not questioning others' perceptions even more so.
What happens, then, when one is incapable of distinguishing between the two and must rely upon the biases of others to grasp that knowledge? Would it drive one mad to try as they fail to uncover truths, or would it instead cause apathy to the unfathomable? For Tim, it may be somewhere in between as he continues his journey home.
Tim had no idea where he was when he regained consciousness. There was absolutely nothing to see. He was alone, a blotch of brown in a sea of white. He couldn’t tell up from down, for there was no ground to stand upon, yet he didn’t feel the sensation of falling either.
He didn’t know how long he’d been there. Time had become utterly meaningless without a reference for him to gauge the relative span of a moment. He could describe it as being a seemingly long time.
The longer he remained there the more he began to wonder if he had finally lost grips with his sanity. Was he still in Equestria, or was he somewhere else entirely? Did he even exist anymore?
After an interminable amount of time, he’d welcome even Discord or death itself if it meant being saved from the nothingness. He was eventually rewarded with the former, and he welcomed him unquestioningly.
“The insides of your mind look dreadfully boring. Don’t you have something in your noggin to liven up the place a little?” Discord conjured a paint can and dumped it on the white backdrop. A mismatch of tie-dye colors splashed everything. Even Tim was not spared.
There was no way this could be his mind. If it were, then he surely would have been able to pick his own setting by now. Yet he continued to drift aimlessly into the abyss.
“Although, now that I think about it, my coming here might’ve caused a disruption.” Discord scratched his head with a third paw which appeared over his shoulder. “I suppose this means I won’t be able to dawdle now. Such a shame that I must spend this time actually helping you out instead.”
Discord swiped his paw at Tim, which miraculously went through him. He held in his paw a translucent, gooey-like substance. A magnifying glass appeared in his possession, which he used to inspect the bizarre essence.
“Ah yes, this is much better. Who says I need to subject myself to a mortal’s limitations in communication? This is a far superior method.” Discord beamed and flung the magnifying glass over his shoulder. That should do it. I believe I have everything I need to get you back to your time now.”
Tim arched his brow. There must have been some strings attached to Discord’s help right? Surely he wouldn’t freely offer this service.
“Don’t give me that look. I am about to send you home for your sake. The least you could do was show some gratitude.” Discord placed his wrists on his hips. A rolling pin and hairnet appeared in his paw and head respectively. “I actually do something nice for once and this is the thanks I get. Why I bothered, I’ll never know.”
Tim gave him a pointed look. After everything else he’d gone through, there’s no way he could trust him to do something until he followed through with his promise.
“Fine, I was doing it because I wanted to stay in the girls’ good grace.” Discord crossed his arms as his props vanished. He then rolled his eyes with a disinterested look. “Our little game was beginning to bore me anyway.”
Now that the lord of chaos was being totally honest, Tim could finally allow himself to hope. This nightmare was finally going to be over, and soon he’d be waking up in his own bed, fully appreciate the time he spent with his family, and carry on his life with a peace of mind.
“Right, let’s get this over with.” Discord snapped his fingers.
Together they waited, but nothing happened right away. Nothing happened at all, in fact, and Discord’s face developed a perplexed expression.
“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” Discord said. “Let’s try that again.”
Again he snapped his fingers, but there was still no change to indicate that he’d done anything. Discord repeatedly snapped his fingers, his actions growing more fervent with each subsequent attempt.
“This can’t be possible.” Discord began biting his fingers as he wiped nonexistent sweat from his brow. “My powers are gone. This is unprecedented!”
“Please,” He picked Tim up by the scruff of his neck and then wrung him back and forth, “you have to do something. I’ve never been so powerless to do anything. Well, except for that one time I was stone, but I swear I meant for that to happen.”
What had just happened? Tim racked his brain for answers as to why, but nothing immediately came to his mind. Perhaps it was some cosmic coincidence or karma which had Discord’s magic repressed.
“Don’t give me that look.” Discord shook him again. “For once, I’m not pulling your leg. See? I would’ve normally pulled your leg by now if I could still summon my magic.”
Gone were Discord’s playful mannerisms and language, replaced with a need which can’t be satisfied. Tim hadn’t seen this side of the draconequus. Tim wasn’t necessarily sorry his company’s loss so much as he was terrified by the implications behind the development. They were now stuck there, wherever they were, with no chance to escape.
Discord began pacing back and forth, or what passed for it anyways. He was thinking out loud to himself. “Stay calm, Discord. Stay calm. There must be a perfectly logical explanation for all of this. Reason through it, and you’ll be able to get yourself out of this mess.”
“Aha!” Discord snapped his fingers. “You have complete control of this space, much as I hate to admit it. You are likely able to negate my abilities while I’m here. Huh. One would think I’d foresee this possibility.”
When Tim offered no response aside from a shrug, Discord continued his train of thought. “It might have even been an unconscious action on your part. But now that you’re aware of it, you can undo it and we can both go on our merry way.”
Tim nodded. He didn’t know how to achieve Discord’s request, but knowing what was at stake gave him the motivation to try his best.
Instead of sending Discord from whence he came, however, the two of them were transported to the front of Tim’s house back home. They might have still just been in his mind, but it all seemed so real. He had to see his mother one last time. He began running for the house.
“Wait,” he heard Discord calling to him. “None of this real. Don’t forget where we are!”
If Tim hadn’t been so homesick, he might have been able to stop and listen to Discord’s request. His misshapen companion remained at the back of his mind, but only just barely. It was impossible to resist not going in just for a moment. He would handle Discord later.
As he entered his home, the kitchen was the first thing he could see. He found his mother at the kitchen sink cleaning dishes. She was humming softly and tapping her foot to some tune she had in her head.
The sound of his hoofsteps as he walked up to her made him suddenly aware of his form. There was no way she would recognize him like this. After remembering this was his own world, he felt silly. It shouldn’t be a problem for him to change back there. He wouldn’t let Discord ruin this moment.
His mother turned around to greet him, but Tim was devastated to find Discord there instead of his mother. Did he have to ruin even his dream world?
“Don’t look at me like this was my doing. You’re the one with all the power.” Discord, seemingly unaware of his actions, cleaned dishes and prepped dinner on the counter while he stared at Tim.
Tim may have been able to put up with all of Discord’s shenanigans in the past, but this sudden development was too much even for him. He pushed him to the ground for taking away his chance to see his mother again.
“Is that any way to treat someone who’s trying to make you dinner?” He opened his mouth to continue but stopped himself short. “Wait, why am I cooking you dinner?”
Tim waved his forelegs angrily and then slammed his back against a refrigerator. He crossed his hooves and glared at the wall with disdain.
“You’re acting as if I’m the one that did this. Okay, so this is the typical thing I would do. I’d break up your reunion, get a kick out of it, so on and so forth. But you have to believe me; it’s really not me this time.”
Tim raised his eyebrow at Discord and shook his head. He was prepared to sulk for all eternity over this. They could rot together for all eternity at this point for all he cared. Discord deserved to be trapped in this prison that long for pulling this stunt.
“I honestly don’t know how this happened. Maybe you imagined me disrupting your reunion with your mother or something.” Discord got back up and continued to prepare the meal against his own will. “Please, make it stop! Never before have I felt so powerless.”
It was hard not to relish in Discord’s plea. Tim wondered how often one got the chance to torment a god. Subjecting someone, especially one whose affinity was chaos, to disorder they had no control over was deeply satisfying.
He wondered what else could he do to get back at the misshapen monstrosity. Perhaps a snake pit could open up below him. He cackled maniacally as a hole opened up from beneath Discord.
“What the–” Discord didn’t get to finish his sentence before he fell into it.
Tim ran up to watch the spectacle. He found his unwanted companion dangling from the cliff when he peered over the side. A snake slithered across Discord’s legs, causing him to unexpectedly giggle.
“That tickles!”
The idea was too nice for him. The pit should lead to a flaming inferno instead of snakes. A fire suddenly erupted from below, causing Tim to fall back onto his haunches.
Discord stretched out his limbs and sighed. “This is much more preferable to being forced to make dinner.”
Tim, finding it impossible to torment his adversary when he actively tried to, groaned and stormed out of the house. He slammed the door forcibly and then wished for his mind to be cleared of the nonsense.
The borderless, white nothingness met him on the other side. He glanced wayward, suddenly wanting to take back his wish, but the house he was just in was already gone.
“Whew, that was a close one. Until that delightful pit of despair of yours, that was a horrible experience.” Discord was by his side again, and he wiped his brow and then looked around. “You really have a one-track mind, don’t you? Truly, where’s your personality?”
Tim would die here. He would go crazy and then be driven to suicide. Discord’s presence ensured that this was the inevitable outcome. He laid down, curled up into a ball, and trembled. He’d never be able to burn the image of the chaos being, in his mother’s clothes, out of his head.
Discord tapped his foot as he waited. “I’ll be waiting for you to get over your existential crisis so we can make plans for getting us out of this mess. Any day now.”
Though he heard him, he couldn’t process anything that was being said. He just wanted to fall into an abyss, to forget everything he’d seen and die.
They were both suddenly plummeting. Of course, since everything was like a blank canvas, there wasn’t an end in sight.
“Get ahold of yourself!” Discord violently shook Tim. “You need to dig deeper into your mind than you’ve ever gone before!”
After Tim was finally brought back to reality, if one could describe a fantastical place like this as such, he remembered their goal. He calmly placed a hoof to his chin in contemplation.
“We don’t have that kind of time.” Discord pointed at his eyes. “Look at me. Now look down. Now back to me. Now down again. You see the ground below us?”
He looked down, but it wasn’t as if one had been conjured up from the nether in the last five seconds. What was the draconequus talking about?
“That’s right, there is none.”
Tim deadpanned at Discord, who apparently felt the need to point out the obvious. What was the point of wasting more time telling him that when he could obviously see for himself? He chalked it up to another one of his quirks.
“Cut me some slack. It was the best I could come up with. It’s not as if you gave me much to work with.” Discord held out his paw as if he was waiting for something to happen. “Alas, my gags are a thing of the past.”
The draconequus seemed genuinely disheartened by his inability to introduce chaos into the situation. Though, if he were brutally honest, they were dealing with enough havoc already. He somehow even pitied the god, as if he had a warped sense of empathy liken to a disturbed masochist.
“Right, well. When I tampered with your memories to determine where I needed to send you back, your body must have had a negative reaction to my magic. As usual.” Discord facepalmed at his oversight. He mumbled something about wondering if all of this was worth the effort before he continued, “We’ll have to look at each one of them in excruciating detail to find where my powers ran off to. Oh joy, I’m really looking forward to that. Can you see it on my face?”
There definitely wasn’t any excitement on his face. In fact, Discord looked less enthusiastic than Cranky Doodle Doo, not that Tim would know this since he hadn’t met the poor donkey and would hopefully never have to.
“Well, what are we waiting for? It’s time for us to go memory hopping!” Discord’s gleeful disposition returned in the blink of an eye. He grabbed onto his hooves and then mocked picking him up. “Think of the first thing that comes to your mind.”
Tim did just that, setting everything else aside for a moment. He envisioned a memory from his childhood and locked onto it. It became as clear as the pit trap he’d fabricated back in his home.
He was on a bicycle as a kid again, traveling down the sidewalk at an incredible speed. The trees were whizzing on by him. He had to weave between them and through the yards to avoid passersby. At some point, he crossed paths with a cat who scowled at him after its tail was trampled by his wheels.
The feeling gave him an exhilarating rush. He longed for it to never end. The best part about it was that he was himself again, with hands and feet. He’d never let this fade again for as long as he–
“Nope! It’s not here. Let’s search another one,” Discord shouted.
The sensation of being himself faded. They were back into the abyss, and he was back in the body of a pony. He glared at Discord, who noncommittally shrugged.
“Take me to the next one. That last one was about as interesting as watching grass grow.”
He couldn’t suppress the eye-roll he gave Discord. Though the comment was demeaning, he tried his best to ignore it as he focused on another memory. After a few moments, it came to him.
The feel of cold metal in his hands was satisfying. He ran his fingers across smooth wheels on the underside of its carriage, resulting in a squeak. He brought it up to his face to inspect. It was an antique toy car his father used to play with.
A television was in front of him, and it changed channels suddenly, though he didn’t pay close attention to what was on. He looked over his shoulder. His father was sitting on a recliner, his eyes glued to the screen.
Tears came to Tim’s eyes. It had been so long since he’d seen his father, who left mother when he was only a child. He missed the activities they did together. Those were such fond moments; he didn’t mind staying here a bit longer and bond with his father one last–
“Not here, either.” Discord’s voice boomed, disrupting his precious memory.
They were back to falling into the abyss. Tim was getting tired of being pulled away from his memories so often. There was ultimately no way of controlling that, however.
Discord somehow always brought him back here. He was beginning to wonder if the god really had lost his powers or if he was getting a kick out of lying to him. There was no real way of verifying that though, so he had to take his word for it.
“It has to be in there somewhere. The sooner we find it, the quicker I’ll be out of your hair.” Discord rapidly tapped his digits together and stared every which way. “What I wouldn’t give for a good gag right now.”
One last time, Tim tried to focus on the precious memories of his past. There were so many images dancing through his mind by now that it was harder for him to focus. He was relieved when one finally stuck out to him, and he was able to relive joy he’d only felt once in his whole life.
A soft hand gently brushed against his own. The butterflies in his stomach churned as he squeezed the welcoming appendage. He looked up into its owner’s eyes, and he was immediately lost in them. The love behind them was magical.
Long hair tickled his cheeks as the girl of his dreams captured him in a hug. His heart soared as she whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Those three words anyone wanted to hear from their beloved. He now felt as though he were casting out into calm seas, where he would forever bask in their warmth.
When he pulled away from her at long last, it was to return her affections with a kiss. He squeezed her shoulders in his hands and pulled away slightly to see her face. He wished to live in this moment with her forever and–
Discord had yet again interjected himself into the memory in the worst way possible. Tim thought he’d been scarred before. Little did he know that had been nothing compared to this. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to sleep again.
“I’ve found it!” Discord was seemingly unaware the event ever occurred. It was most certainly better that way.
Discord held up his paws. They were encased in a magical aura which steadily grew. It looked as though he were taking in the energy. The event didn’t last long, and when he was through he bounced jubilantly. A glass of chocolate milk suddenly appeared in his paw, which he drank, glass and all.
“Yes! I have my powers back. Now we can finally go back. One elevator leading straight back to Equestria coming right up.” The being of chaos snapped his fingers and a door appeared. It opened right up for them. “Right this way. Watch your step, ladies and gents. It could be a bumpy ride.”
Tim raised his brow in confusion. There wasn’t anybody there aside from them, so what was the point behind the showmanship? He’d forgotten to stop questioning everything Discord did, to just go with the flow.
He stepped through the door, alongside his companion, into what he hoped would be the real world.
When he awoke, he didn’t immediately recognize his surroundings past his grogginess. Strangely enough, he was without the headaches he was starting to become accustomed to, which was a nice change of pace.
Everything around him was a complete and utter disaster, however. Rubble surrounded him on all sides, and he laid in the middle of a deep crater under the moonlit night.
Never before had he been witness to so much destruction. He didn’t know what to make of it. Had Discord done something again? This seemed to be right on par with his other deeds thus far.
He heard somepony say, “Did we do it?”
“I think so.” Twilight’s head suddenly appeared overhead. She peered down into the crater with a tired look on her face. When her eyes finally rest on him at last, it seemed as if she was searching for something. “What in Equestria happened?”
Tim, not sure what she meant by that, surveyed his surroundings. Other than the loose rubble all around him, he didn’t spot much to help him give her an answer. He was just as confused as she.
Thankfully, Discord was there to provide some mitigation. He never thought he’d be so happy to see him until that moment. Fireworks exploded all around the draconequus as he cheered.
“I finally got us the information we needed to send little Timmy here home.” Discord looked quite pleased with himself, and he flashed her a smile. “No need to thank me.”
“Thank you?” Twilight stomped her forehooves on the ground and then waved at the current state of her castle. “Half of Ponyville is on fire, thanks to you!”
Discord chuckled nervously upon looking around. “A minor setback, I assure you. At least nopony was harmed, right?”
“There’s a giant hole in Canterlot.” Twilight snapped.
“I can see how that can be a problem,” Discord said. “Fortunately for you, you’re talking to the very person who can undo all that damage at the drop of a hat.”
“The sun is gone!”
“See? I knew you’d see reason, and you’ll see my method of figuring out where he came from was the right one.” Discord patted his shoulder with a floating glove. “Wait, what?”
Instead of replying, Twilight just stormed away from the crater. She groaned as she disappeared from Tim’s sight.
He got up and crawled up the slope so he could get see what they were talking about. Once he caught a glimpse of what they were saying, there was only one word that came to mind. Apocalypse.
Discord glanced down at him. He suddenly and unexpectedly guffawed. He held his side and wiped a tear. “This is spectacular. You may just have all the makings of a being of chaos after all.”
Tim blankly stared at him, waiting for any of what he said to make sense. He was afraid to even ask.
“Oh come now. Surely even you would realize it by now. This is your doing. It must have happened when you borrowed my powers.” Discord teleported himself to stand as a miniature on Tim’s shoulder. “So nice of you to act in my stead. I knew you had it in you.”
“Do I dare ask what you’re talking about now?” Twilight asked. She was standing by Fluttershy, who was quivering in fear.
“It’s a long story that I’d rather not get into. Suffice it to say, he managed to procure my powers for a short time, during which I presume he did all of this.” Discord gestured to the chaos outside. Off in the distance, a stray pony ran screaming out of his house.
“How am I going to clean all this up.” Twilight slumped to the floor. “What am I going to tell Princess Celestia?”
“You mustn’t plague your mind with unnecessary questions. Consider it all taken care of.” Discord, with a single wave of his hand, reverted the state of Equestria back to its original state in a flash. “There. All done. Good as new.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that it still happened.” The way she shook her head made Tim suspect that she was seething underneath her barely contained composure. “She could banish us to the moon. Or worse!”
“Oh dear–” Fluttershy hid her eyes behind her mane so that only her snout poked through it “–you don’t think she’ll actually do that, do you? I don’t want to go to the moon.”
Tim couldn’t make heads or tails of the feasibility behind the statement, or who this Princess Celestia person was, but he was a bit too stunned to take it all in and be frightened by it. How could he have come to possess Discord’s power?
“Well, if that isn’t the biggest load of mumbo-jumbo I’ve ever heard out of you, I don’t know what is. If anyone is going to be banished for this, it will be me.”
Twilight began pacing, and she extended a hoof out to say, “Oh, you’re already doomed to that punishment.” For that, she received a deadpanned look from the master of all things chaotic before she continued, “But what about me? If I’m trapped on the moon, how will I perform all my friendship duties?!” She stopped her rant to scratch her mane sheepishly. “I couldn’t talk her out of punishing you, I mean.”
“Oh, the Royal Princess of Canterlot can shove a...” Discord coughed once into his fisted paw. When he spoke again, it was with a more level tone. “I hardly think such extreme reactions are warranted. Why, I doubt she even noticed.”
“Oh, she noticed alright. She always does.” Twilight shivered as her mind wandered to a faraway place. “But your antics are par for the course by now. Maybe we’ll get lucky. I hope.”
Tim was still in a daze. For the briefest of moments, he had unfathomable power. How was any of this possible? Just as he was about to voice his concerns, someone’s cry stopped him. “Twilight!”
Everyone turned to face the owner. A tall, white pony descended gently from the sky. What made her stand out most to Tim was the elegantly crafted regalia she wore. The frown, nigh imperceptible upon her lips, and her trained stare gave away her thinly veiled disappointment.
Once she landed, she folded her wings at her sides. “Care to explain what’s going on here?”
At this point, Tim had no idea whether she was worried or she was disappointed. He didn’t think he’d like engaging with her either way, though, especially with the way Twilight’s head slumped in remorse in response.
Then, Twilight said, “Oh... Not much. Only all of Equestria falling into a pit of despair for what could have been all of eternity without the hope of ever seeing the light of day again!”
An odd mixture of expressions showed through the white pony’s face. First, it was a look of surprise, then in disbelief which gave into amusement. “I’m not sure what I expected, honestly. Though it does explain the odd time skip a bit.”
Twilight was silent for a while before she spoke again. “Princess Celestia, I am so sorry for everything. I’m... ready for my punishment.”
“So you won’t send Discord and me to the moon for a thousand years?” Twilight’s ears perked. She blinked away the tears that were already forming and smiled.
“The moon?!” All composure melted away from Celestia’s face. “Wherever did you get that idea? No! Nopony else can go up there. Not after last time. The horror. The sheer horror!”
“I’d hate to break such a heartwarming experience, but someone has to point out the elephant in the room. Has Princess Celestia’s sanity flown the coop?” Discord stopped himself momentarily to be amazed at a chirping brain flying overhead. “Or is she a changeling? She must be a changeling. Oh, how delightful that would be.”
“No, it’s worse all of that. Way worse. You can’t possibly fathom the…things that Luna had to endure up there.” Celestia’s voice betrayed her.
“Ooookay...” Discord took the sky as if ready to bolt. “Let’s just leave the crazy pony alone, shall we?” And like that, he was gone with the wind.
Celestia whimpered in terror. Quietly, she said, “I don’t know what’s real anymore.”
Torn between wanting to comfort the distressed pony and chase after his only means home, Tim was stuck in place. He understood all to well that one’s grip on reality was finicky. After all, he thought he was in a world full of talking pastel-colored ponies governed by magic. That should have been all it took for him to question everything. And now, it did.
We find ourselves where we last left Tim, who now stands at the precipice of a metaphorical cliff. With the last shreds of his sanity hanging in the balance, he is at a loss as to what to do. Because of the recent events which violate every iota of his understanding of the world, he faces the tough decision between acceptance and denial. Both choices seem equally likely to lead him over the edge.
Should he deny this chaotic world’s existence, then he has only his imagination to thank for hoodwinking him into believing otherwise. Worse yet is its lingering presence which mockingly contradicts him. And wishing for escape has so far proven a fruitless endeavor.
Accepting it at face value, however, can be just as dangerous. According to the testimony of others, he possessed unimaginable power, however brief that may be. Everypony had beared witness to the utter annihilation of Equestria by his very own hooves. He must abandon his sense on the limitations of his faculties to believe that which seems impossible. For how could he use someone else’s power and not even realize it?
The mind is truly remarkable, equipped with the ability to fill in gaps and reshape events in order to make sense of the world. Though when something astounding occurs the likes of which is nigh incomprehensible, its limitations are challenged. And, as Tim is only now discovering, what happens when it fails to do so.
Equestria was exactly in the state that Tim remembered. Everything seemed untouched by the hooves that sowed the seeds of disaster, but in spite of this, nothing was in its rightful place for Twilight and her companions. None of that mattered to him, though, for he was detached from it all. If none of it was real, then why should he concern himself with the problems of a non-existent world? There was no proof to justify his reasons, but he was nevertheless unable to shake his beliefs.
Some time had passed, he wasn’t sure how much, before he was broken out of his stupor. Ponies came to greet her like close companions one after another until at last she was surrounded. Princess Celestia was nearby and managed to remain composed in their presence, but Twilight’s less than regal face gave away that something was wrong.
The purple mare kept quiet for the most part as they pried her for information, but it didn’t take long for one of them, a pegasus with a prismatic mane, to jump to the wrong conclusion. Tim remained aloof as best as he could, but he couldn’t escape the mare’s accusing stare when she turned on him. The ensuing physical confrontation had him nearly a crumpling mess on the ground. She pressed her forehead and snout against his, and with those distrusting eyes peering into his soul, he was forced to lean back on his hindquarters.
“Did you have something to do with this? If I found out you hurt Twilight or Fluttershy, I’m gonna...” She let the threat sit idly for a moment, the words not quite forming upon her lips. The hesitation made him wonder how far she was willing to go for her friends. Perhaps she wasn’t even aware of her limits.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight’s concerned voice came all of a sudden. “He had nothing to do with this–well, he did, but it wasn’t precisely his fault. I think.”
The pegasus spun around, revealing a distraught Twilight to Tim in the process, to address the princess. The explanation had done nothing to assuage Rainbow’s distrust of him. It actually made things worse by solidifying her suspicions of his involvement. There was almost nothing left to keep her from enacting upon her threat.
“You’re not making any sense, Twi. Did he have something to do with it or not?” Rainbow, after turning back to him with a menacing glare, lifted him off the ground.
She couldn’t hurt him, he told himself, for she wasn’t real. He was back in his room, safe and sound...
The reassurances did nothing to take away the very real sensation of her hoof firmly grappling the hairs of his coat. Maybe it was real after all. Was he wrong to question it? Surely not, for it wouldn’t be a convincing fantasy if he could distinguish whether or not it was real. He might very well find it persisting even if he tried to go home.
No, there was no other explanation for this twisted world to exist. It served only to imprison him. He should be lashing out at every turn rather than trying to reason with every preposterous notion it presented to him. Everything about this fantasy is to blame for his misery. Most of all, they were to blame.
Tim returned Rainbow Dash’s stare with equal ferocity. He smacked her foreleg without sympathy, eliciting gasps from the other ponies. His captor hissed before unceremoniously dropping him to nurse the newly formed bruise.
A lasso had tightened around him before he could land. He went from airborne one moment to an agonizing chokehold the next. He was then treated to an orange pony’s scowl. She briefly adjusted a stetson hat atop her head, which amplified her already intimidating expression.
“I don’t rightly know what you have or haven’t done, but that don’t mean you can hurt my friends. Anypony who goes around disrespecting others ain’t the right way to go about things,” said the mare.
“Oh my.” Fluttershy was clearly torn between helping him get home and standing by her friend’s side, so she made herself scarce.
Twilight, on the other hoof, appeared to remain adamant to his defense. “Applejack, he’s just as confused as you are. If you’ll allow me to–”
Her words fell on deaf ears as a gray-white unicorn with an elegantly styled mane approached them. With a flippant brush of her mane, she said, “Darling, being confused does not give one the right to participate in such barbaric acts. Quite frankly, if this is how he treats a lady, then he is undeserving of your help.”
He rolled his eyes, disgusted by the unicorn’s pretentious demeanor. His fantasies had a funny way of being cruel to him. How dare it judge him when it did the very same thing to him.
“But he is just trying to–” Twilight replied.
Tim bashed his head into the false pony holding him in place, eliciting a groan from her. No more following along with the fantasy’s shenanigans, he told himself. Since it was only his imagination, he wasn’t actually hurting anyone.
“Hey!” Applejack stared at him with unbridled fury. “Why I oughta–”
Rainbow Dash flew in from behind and restrained him. “Let me at him!”
Then, a pink pony he hadn’t even seen before abruptly jumping into the fray. “I wanna get in on the fun, too! Whee!”
All hell broke loose as Tim was pulled back, forward, left, and right. Try as he might, he couldn’t break free from their merciless grasp. His limbs begged for respite, but as it continued unabated, a small voice grew in his mind with every ache he felt. Something about his realization must have been very, very wrong. But how could that be, when nothing in this world made any sense?
“Enough!”
Twilight’s cry stunned everyone into stillness. When she noticed all eyes were on her, she chuckled nervously and scratched her withers. The moment was made even more awkward by the silence which ensued.
Eventually, she spoke up. “That’s better. Tim, please, stop hitting my friends! We’re here to help you. Everypony else, there isn’t any time to lose. He is a long way from home, and we need Discord’s magic to help him get there. Now, where was he?”
“Uhm... Twilight?” Fluttershy trotted up to stand next to her. “Discord left a little while ago.”
“What?” The purple mare’s wings spread, and her hooves parted into a defensive posture. “But what about the rift? He promised us! Oh, how could I take my eyes off of him? If I hadn’t been so preoccupied with Princess...”
Twilight stopped herself short and study her company. “duties.”
The pink pony snortled in response. “She said ‘doodees’.”
Ignoring the comment, Twilight abruptly teleported next to Tim. One of his captors became disgruntled as a result. “Now wait a cotton-picking minute, Twi–What the hay?”
Tim didn’t get the chance to see her facial expression, or how anypony else reacted to Twilight’s rushed explanation, before he was whisked away with her through teleportation. The entire world instantly exploded into a series of blurring images. He found himself pulled into a new area every few seconds, and before he could orient himself, he was taken again.
He wanted to scream, beg for it to end, but he scarcely he had the time to catch Twilight’s attention. He could hear the urgency in her voice whenever she spoke, but he couldn’t catch any of it. Her distress mounted with Discord’s continued absence.
Then, as he turned mid transport to urge her to stop, his head was lodged into a hole of a tree.
“Are you okay?” She asked when she noticed his predicament.
Twilight’s attention was on him at last. The only problem was that he was now stuck in place. He couldn’t even see what was going on around him.
He dug his hooves into the bark of the tree and pulled. No matter how hard he tried, though, he didn’t feel any give in the bark in his efforts to free himself. Because of that, the lack of light and cramped space began to make him anxious.
“Hold on. I’ll get you out in just one second.” He then heard the chime of Twilight’s magic, and felt something tug on him from the other side.
The tree remained adamant.
“Come on...” Twilight audibly groaned and strained.
All of the muscles in his neck began to ache under the pressure. Helpful as she tried to be, it was only making things worse. Again he found himself pleading for her to stop, and he wondered if he was only moments away his certain demise at her hoof.
Then, he heard skittering from somewhere inside. He couldn’t see what it was, but he unexpectedly felt something brush against his chin, and finally a stabbing pain on his face.
Work faster, he thought, For the love of God, work faster!
His pressed his hooves against the tree once more and pushed in tandem with Twilight’s pulls. The intense sensations all over him were too much to bear that he wished for the swift release from its grasp.
But the tree had nothing in store for him except a slow and torturous end.
All at once his hooves gave out and his neck grew slack. Defeated and on the brink of passing out, he shut his eyes and waited for it to exact its retribution upon him.
Everything ceased abruptly, giving him the respite he desired. He reopened his eyes and stared around in bewilderment; Twilight mimicked his actions a moment later. It was so startling that it took them a moment to discover what had happened.
The tree had utterly vanished without rhyme or reason.
How was that possible? Trees couldn’t just get up and walk away. They didn’t have minds of their own either, even if this one seemed to have a vendetta against him. So there was no reason for it to be gone. Unless...
“Why hello, dear old friend. Did you miss me?”
It was Discord, of course.
“And here I thought we were becoming the best of pals.” Discord feigned sadness with his paw covering his mouth. Then, a disembodied claw came with a tissue, which he promptly used to blow his nose. “The thanks I get for helping out a stumped friend.” He dropped his facade with a chortle. “Get it? Because you were stuck in its trunk. I crack myself up sometimes.”
“That’s not funny.” Twilight snapped right before having to evade a discarded tissue. “Tim could have been seriously hurt.”
“Speak for yourself. That was hilarious! Oh, don’t give me that face. Perhaps I haven’t made myself clear before. I would never allow any real danger to come to our mutual friend over there. A promise is a promise, after all.” With a slight wave of his paw, Tim was encased in an nearly imperceivable bubble.
No sooner than the protective energy had formed, a series of blows struck out at Tim. It wasn’t apparent where they came from, but a barrage of arrows bounced away from him, the sharpened blade of a giant ax bent perfectly to the magic’s shape, and a roaring blaze failed to so much as singe Tim’s coat. He was impervious.
“See?” Discord gestured to his construct and the aftermath it caused. The grass had been charred near his hooves, arrows were lodged into nearby trees and bushes, and the ax clattered against the ground. Tim, however, was unaffected. After Discord dispelled the barrier, he declared, “Not a hair out of place.”
Tim shook violently and stared at the carnage in every which direction. Everything had happened so fast that he scarcely had time to react. And in a flash it was made to seem as if it hadn’t even happened at all.
“But where’s the harm in a small hazard now and again?” Discord continued. “It’s no fun when you know what comes next. What was it that Peppermint H. K. Swirl used to say? ‘Life’s either a daring adventure or nothing at all.’”
Tim blinked, dazed at the sight of their now unbesmirched surroundings. It all seemed so surreal. Was any of that real? Was that truly Discord’s magic at play, or could he have imagined it? Maybe nothing was real after all, and he mistook some stimulus from the real world for the pummelling he received from Twilight’s friends.
“And what of Equestria’s destruction.” Twilight’s nose flared, and her eyes furled. “Would you call that a small hazard?”
There was nothing more satisfactory to Tim than watching somepony else chew out Discord. The draconequus sweated and looked anywhere but at Twilight. “Oh, would you look at the time. We-need-to-send-little-Timmy-here-home-while-we-still-can!”
“You can’t just ignore–”
Twilight couldn’t finish what she was saying before Discord, Tim, and her were all transported somewhere far away. The world around them suddenly appeared to be a lot smaller. They found themselves standing in front of a single house on a small, floating island. Beyond every corner of the island seemingly endless expanse of purplish, swirling vortexes.
The mare seemed keen to continue her statement until she finally sighed. “You and I will save this discussion for later. Don’t think for a second I’ll let you off the hook so easily.”
Tim stepped toward the outer boundaries of the island, mesmerized and unable to make heads or tails of what he was seeing. There was no way Discord could have conceived anything like this. The things he did were cheap parlor tricks by comparison. It was so breathtakingly magnificent that this must be some kind of dream-like fantasy. He wondered what it was made of, so he reached a curious hoof to touch it.
Over by the house, Discord acted as if he didn’t hear Twilight’s threat. “Welcome to my abode! You’ll have to excuse the mess, but It’s been a millennia since I’ve entertained guests. Oh, Goody, I can’t wait to show off my limited collector’s edition of Buckball cards. Most of the sports your kind take part in are dreadfully boring, but I find Buckball to be–”
Discord stopped to warn Tim, but only when his hoof touched the colorful mass did he hear it. By then it had been too late, and he was mercilessly absorbed by the unknown.
Everything was a distorted mess straight away. His whole body was subjected to immense forces that ebbed and waned in uneven spreads. It was never enough that his muscles began to ache, but he was very quickly overcome with nautiousness.
The way in which his appendages appeared drastically changed in size with each passing moment didn’t help matters. One second his hoof was twice the size of a bowling ball, and then it was as small as a mouse not long after.
As Tim floated there in the abyss, He recounted every experience since coming to Equestria that led up to that point. He had gone through far worse pains than this, some of which he thought he’d die from. But nothing compared to that indescribable torment inflicted upon him. He’d wish for death to save him from this hell, but he was terrified he’d instead meet a fate far worse before his eternal rest.
At some point, he wasn’t sure whether minutes had passed or hours, he could see the outlines of a figure up ahead. Its shape was like nothing he had ever seen, an unsightly disfigurement which vaguely resembled a face.
And then, something grabbed him.
Alarm bells went off in his head. Whether this was a real world or not, his indecisiveness would now lead to him being devoured in both flesh and spirit.
I’m doomed! he thought.
It pulled. It pulled hard and fast, and then pulled some more. Together, he and the creature swam through the substance. His body met resistance along the way, forces directing him this way and that. A raging torrent of forces flowed around him, and he could feel more than one leg dislocate under the stress. He clenched his eyes shut and tried to scream in pain, but it took him until now to realize he couldn’t breathe. This was it. This was the end.
Then, nothing.
...
...
...
...
...
“The Discordant Pool of Chaos sure did a number on that tiny body of yours. A Being of Chaos in Training you may be, but perhaps you should hold off becoming one with the Pool for a few eons.”
Oh. He lived.
“What a mess.” Twilight paled after galloping over to them. “You don’t look so good. Are you alright?”
Tim would have liked to answer that, but he too weak. And in agony. And a lot of other indistinguishable feelings. A dual emotion played inside of him, one being tremendous relief that it was over, and the other being apprehension that it could he could just as easily go through it again.
He eyed the Pool with the urge to crawl away.
Then, it winked at him.
The Pool was the stuff legends were made of. It made the supernatural seem tame by comparison. And it winked at him.
He scurried all the way to the front door of Discord’s house with renewed energy, and he wished he could get farther away from it still. Unfortunately, the door had other plans in mind, for it remained shut in his collision against it.
“What’s gotten into you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Twilight asked.
Discord, on the other hoof, wasn’t bothered by Tim’s uncharacteristic behavior. He chuckled and said, “So you’ve discovered the Pool’s life essence. You truly are a prodigy of the arcane arts of Chaos Magic; it took me a millenia do the same. It opened my eyes to the wonders of magic!”
Tim had no interest in becoming a being of chaos. He shook his head fervently, refusing to so much as acknowledge he saw anything at all. That he had any such potential. He was just seeing things. Yeah, that’s all.
Twilight perked up, however, and she clapped her forehooves in glee. “That sounds so exciting! I wonder what all the Pool could teach me in the ways of magic and harmony!” She stopped herself to pull out a quill and scroll. With her mouth still full, she asked, “What can you tell me about its life essence?”
Discord shook his head disappointedly. “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. You’re a Princess of Friendship, one of the Elements of Harmony. You couldn’t possibly become one with the Discordant Pool of Chaos.”
Twilight deflated a bit, knowing there would forever be some unattainable knowledge out there.
“As for its life essence, it’s really quite complicated and hard to explain without creating numerous contrivances to Tim’s tale.” The draconequus began floating over to Tim and his home as he carried on their conversation.
“What do you mean, ‘contrivances to Tim’s tale’?” She asked as soon as she began following him. Then she perked up as she realized what he’d meant. “You mean we’re all just some part of story being controlled by the machinations of a much larger entity? This explains so many questions, like why Equestria is flat, and how anything can be explained away by simple explanations. And it raises so many new questions, like what the true meaning of life is and–”
Discord’s response was immediate. “‘42.’”
“Really? The complex reason for our entire existence can be summed up by a number?” Twilight scratched her chin in contemplation. “That’s not a very satisfying answer.”
“Sadly, Twilight, not even I have the power to set the rules of the universe.” The disappointment in Discord’s body language seemed genuine. He threw his whole body forward as if in frustration, his arms now dangling as if he’d draped his body over something. He was now close enough for Tim to see the weariness in his eyes.
“...If it’s a number, though, that means there’s a formulation which results in said number. If I can work backwards from the result, I might equate it to the purpose of life! I can’t wait to get back to my lab to start running some–”
“It’s not as if you’re going to remember any of this after you leave here,” Discord muttered.
By this point, both of them had rejoined Tim at the door. Still, he could barely hear what the Lord of Chaos had said, and he doubted Twilight could either.
“What?” The princess asked.
“Nothing.”
After opening the front door, Discord brought his guests inside. There was too much for poor Tim to look at. Everything was in disarray; there was no rhyme or reason to where the furniture was placed, or why all of his animated possessions acted as if they had a life of their own. All of it made him dizzy, so he had to look away.
“And we’re here,” Discord said, “This is the one spot in all of our lands where I can send you back to your own dimension. Do you have any last words before you embark on your journey? The pain you’ll have to endure is sure to be excruciating. You might not make it back.”
Tim didn’t know why the madman even bothered asking him. It’s not as if he could talk, and the guy had already been inside his head once before, so shouldn’t he have known that he wouldn’t?
Wait, what did Discord say? No, wait, he hadn’t prepared himself yet! After what he had just experienced, that last thing Tim wanted was to–
“No? Well, in that case, bon voyage!”
“Discord, did you really have to scare...”
As Twilight spoke, she seemed to grow quieter. At first Tim didn’t know what to make of it, but it had to have been Discord’s work. It was as if he suddenly saw the whole world through tunnel vision that steadily became darker and darker. The transition was surprisingly gradual and calming, and before long he could no longer see Twilight or Discord at all. Instead, he saw stars in every direction, and all was still.
Then, some force propelled him forward at tremendous speeds through space unknown. Entire galaxies whizzed past him as streaks of light until he started feeling his body being torn apart molecule by molecule.
Time seemed to slow to an agonizing halt. Or perhaps it was going by faster. He couldn’t really tell. He must have passed out a dozen times or more from the pain as he felt himself disassemble and then reassemble. Over and over again like a record on loop.
At some point, a harrowing thought came to mind: Was he even the same person anymore?
He’d ponder this question to himself in the times where it hadn’t become so unbearable it left him devoid of thought. Perhaps he’d never find the answer, or that it really even mattered. And it was just one question floating along in an unending sea of questions.
The most frustrating part about all of it was that he couldn’t even tell anyone. How could he when it all sounded utterly insane? People could mistake him for being one of those loonies. He very well could be, but that's besides the point.
Was he supposed pretend none of this ever happened and go on with his life? That may have been for the best, but the real question was, could he? Would he even want that? He may have not been there for long, and it may have been the wildest, most violent experience he’d ever had. But now that it was all over, he thought he’d might miss it, strange as that may seem.
It wasn’t all that bad, after all. Twilight and Fluttershy both seemed really nice. If there was some way for him to stay connected, and go back and forth as he pleased, then he might have even enjoyed his stay there. He unexpectedly found himself wishing...
...
...
...
...
The crash landing onto his bed was both soft and rough, and his entire room violently shook from the impact of his body into the mattress. Still feeling the intense force of multi-dimensional travel, he flailed about and rolled off the bed.
His face struck the ground, and he groaned internally as he tried to nurse his growing headache. He brought his hand up to his temple, and but something felt off about it. Something which he didn’t think he’d ever be confronted with again.
Then someone barged into his room. “Timothy?”
It was his mother. He was home at last. Everything would finally go back to the way things were before.
His mother continued, “Is that you? Where have you be– ahhhh!!!”
That was the moment Tim realized he was still a pony, despite returning to his home world, and that a whole new journey of mayhem was waiting for him.
This journey ends as it began, with us lamenting over one individual’s unfortunate circumstance. Having been witness to a series of chaotic events, each one more absurd than the last, Tim has been irrevocably scarred to the point of insanity and back. When one has been plucked from his own reality and displaced in a world so vastly different from his own, though, one could hardly expect there to be another outcome. Alack, he has forever become trapped within the confounds of the chaos that Discord sowed.
One might ask whatever became of Tim. Because Discord unwittingly schooled him to the chaotic nature of magic, and it undoubtedly would follow him everywhere he went for the rest of his life, the young stallion eventually learned how to control his newfound powers and somewhat shape the events of his everyday life. That’s not to say he had total control, for there was never truly any freedom from chaos for him. He was like a puppet, and it was his master who pulled on his strings. Still, he had some measures of success to go along with his sacrifices, and he would eventually find himself once more in the Everfree Forest under much different circumstances. But that is a story for another time.
