I waited so long for a once in a lifetime event as I wished on every star to make my life more interesting. Well... they did that alright, and now I'm thinking if I could return that wish.
I waited so long for a once in a lifetime event as I wished on every star to make my life more interesting. Well... they did that alright, and now I'm thinking if I could return that wish.
My name is Melissa. I live in a simple apartment, living a simple life, and having the simple necessities to keep me happy until the day I die. But, even if I have everything I could ever want and more, I always felt that the simple cycle of waking up, going to work, coming back home, and spend hours on the internet wasn't all that great. Soon, I started wishing that maybe something in my life would happen that would make it more than interesting. And I shouldn't be complaining that I got my wish... I just wish they choose someone else to make that sudden turn in my life.
And this, is the story of my snobby, rude, and lazy new roommate.
It was another one of those mornings. The mornings where all was peaceful, nothing crazy was happening, no sign of some dark forces trying to take over Equestria, and all seemed perfect. Emphasis on the seem, as everypony subconsciously knew something insane was going to happen one way or another. This wasn't different from the royal duties of Princess Celestia herself, looking over some notes about what some of the other kingdoms were doing, while having herself some delicious cake and tea. It was interrupted by the doors slamming wide open. Standing at the doorway, with a messy mane and nearly bloodshot eyes, was Celestia's sister, Princess Luna.
“SISTER!!!” She screamed, nearly on the verge of using the royal Canterlot voice.
“Luna? What is the matter?” Celestia put down her levitated tea cup as she calmly got up from her throne and met Luna half way. “You should be sleeping.” Luna marched to her, each hoofstep making an earthquake on the other side of their planet.
“It's that… thing you live with us! That… Blueblood brat of yours!!!”
“Blueblood? What does he have to do with you being awake at this hour?” Celestia tilted her head a little as she brought her sister’s head up, noticing the bags under her eyes. “He mostly stays to himself.”
“Oh no! He may stay from you, but he's… ugh! I need something to punch now!!!”
“Luna, you know that violence is never the way to solve or calm your stress.” She poured another cup of tea for her sister before bringing it to her. “Here, have come camomile tea. I hear it’s the most relaxing tea in Equestria.” She smiled a little. Luna took the tea and gulped it down quickly.
“Thank you for that. And yes, I know it's not the right way, but he's… ugh… by Faust, he's so irritating!”
“Yes, I hear that a lot from my… not so noble subjects. But after a small talk, he does become less irritating… for a few days.” She mumbled the last part to herself. “But why you sister? From what I could see, neither of you barely see each other, no less talk to one another.” She asked as she hope the prince wasn’t off taking Luna’s moon cakes… again.
“I don't chat with him! He, on the other hoof, just goes out with full on whining and demands! ‘Oh Luna, I want that diamond encrusted egg! Luna, I want my own holiday! Luna, I want my own Castle!’.” She cringed. “Not to mention, his overdone parties that happen almost every night, use of our treasury for things he wants, and, the worst of them all… He took my Moon cakes! They were for charity!”
Celestia moved her hoof from under her sister’s chin. “Hmm… this does seem like a lot of trouble. But have you ever tried to just talk him into doing what you want? Like, ‘we cannot afford another castle’ or ‘we can’t make a diamond encrusted egg’. Perhaps a ‘can you schedule the party before throwing one to let me know’?” Celestia asked. “I mean, those always worked for me.” She smiled once again.
“Oh no! I've tried that before! He whines even more, saying it's important and he needs them! Sister, I have yet to know what it means to be a mother, but you need to get his head straight before he does something stupid!” She levitated a belt and a chancla. “I heard both of these are effective for giving punishments.”
“Luna, you should know that we can’t do that. If word got out that we punished our cousin with violence, who knows what our subjects might think of us.” Celestia said as she placed a hoof on her chest. “And believe me, I sometimes wish I could do that.” She looked through an open window close by. “Perhaps we should find a less violent and more educational way to punish him. Maybe a nice nature walk in the garden, showing him how some animals have less, but still live happier lives. Or maybe we could-” Her response was cut short as the door opened once again and the prince himself was strutting out, a small maid holding open the heavy door as it looked as if she would give into the weight of the door any second. Blueblood patted her head.
“Excellent!” He boasted, caring less about her but the performance she did. “Now, I think it's only fitting that you prepare my next meal. I'm thinking a Daisy sandwich with no crust, exactly seventeen flowers in total, and cut diagonally to make four pieces. Sound good?”
“Y-y-yes… you're…. Highness!” The maid wheezed, sweating like a waterfall.
“Good! I expect it to be ready in a minute.” He walked into the throne. The maid released the door with loud panting, turned and ran to the kitchen… only to trip and fall to her face, groaning in agony. Luna lifted the weapons of punishment to Celestia.
“I think the staff will love to see it.” She whispered.
“And I think we will be dethroned for Bluebloods exaggeration of the punishment.” She said through her teeth as she used her own magic to teleport the items to her sister’s room.
“And I think our subjects will finally see that we can take action, instead of sitting down all the time and needing help from Twilight and her friends.”
“You know that we can’t help them cause we have to be the first to be protected against any threats.” She replied. “Now this punishment idea is over.”
“And what are you going to do then? Send Blueblood to a different dimension and only let him back once he's learned his lesson?”
“Come on Luna, you know that it requires a lot of magic to do that, and I don’t think we need to.” Celestia shook her head as she looked away. “If you’re only going to continue trying to make me punish him, then you should get some rest. You must be really tired and cranky to keep this up.”
“And he's causing it.” The sound of Blueblood screaming made them jump, which was followed by pots and pans clanging, and Blueblood entering the throne. He ran and stopped at Celestia.
“Look at what happened, Tia!” He said, pointing at a small, barely noticeable mustard stain. “She ruined my shirt that was imported from Neighpan!”
“I said I was sorry!” The maid from earlier entered, covered in more stains than him. “It's my first day here and-”
“No! You caused this! Auntie, fire her!!!”
“Now Blueblood, you know that she didn’t do it on purpose. And she even apologized. I’ll clean that stain if you give her another chance. It’ll be like it was never there.” She smiled over at the maid, knowing that she would never fire a maid over something so small. Blueblood stomped his left hoof.
“This is unfair!” He whined “Nopony listens to me!” He stormed off, but stopped at the door. The maid stood there, blinking with a confused look. “Any time now!” The maid groaned and pushed one of the doors open. Blueblood walked past her. “And get yourself cleaned up! You're making a bigger mess than what you did!” She groaned again, heading to the servant's quarters. Luna sipped more of her tea.
“... Think that mirror can work?” She asked.
Celestia sighed as she rubbed her head. “I don’t think a missing prince is any better than a prince who has been physically punished.” She mumbled.
“He's just going away for a while.” She winked.
“You know it’s going to be more than just a little while.” Celestia looked over at her sister with an unamused expression.
“If I'm correct, not only will our treasury breath a lot better, but I'm certain nopony’s going to miss him.”
Celestia glanced away again as she looked outside the window again. She felt that her cousin might have some time to redeem himself, but she also knew that if she didn’t do anything, then all of Equestria will worsen if he was to take her role when it was her time to leave. She sighed as she looked down, knowing that this might be the only way. “Fine. We will go with your plan, but I will not send him with nothing but the fur on his back.” She looked over at her sister. “And I’ll also find the book for the dimensional spell.”
Luna clapped her hooves and giggled like a filly. “Wonderful! I'll get the supplies ready!... You wouldn't mind if I used a sleeping spell on him, would you?”
“Absolutely not. We will tell him about this, and if he’s not willing… then maybe.” Celestia answered.
“You're no fun. Sorry guys.” A bunch of groans were heard as a couple of ninjas fell from the ceiling and scattered away.
Celestia glared at her sister. “What did I say about ninjas..?” Luna lowered her head in defeat
“Only at night times.”
“Exactly, and only five of them in the morning for when you are asleep. And they have to stay in the room.” Celestia said. “Now, we will wait until it’s time for the sun to set and the moon to rise. That is when we’ll both be up and be able to make the spell together.”
“Alright, sister… just keep him out of my room.” Luna trotted off to her room, going back to sleep.
Celestia only sighed as she had an eventful sunset to prepare for.
~
Nighttime had arrived to Equestria. Many of the country's residents began to drift off to sleep, having themselves wonderful dreams, while Luna’s guards (and ninjas) began their nightly patrols. With a quick borrow from Princess Twilight, Celestia set up the mirror that her old apprentice, Sunset Shimmer, was forced to enter, and was going to be repeated with Blueblood. Of course, she didn't want him to go into the same world, as it meant that he'd be able to stroll in at anytime, so she navigated through glimpses of other worlds. The sound of loud thuds, and snoring, came into the room, as Luna strolled in, dragging a sleeping Blueblood by his tail.
Celestia glared at her younger sister. “What did I just say about knocking him out?” She said in a near shout as she hated it when her sister went against her words.
“I'm sorry, sister,” Luna apologized “But he was about to start, yet, another party. It was either this, or using the royal Canterlot voice around the bustling music.”
Celestia placed a hoof on her forehead before she shook her head. “Fine. I guess this might be more easy if he didn’t move while we were doing this.” She mumbled as she looked down at the sleeping prince.
“Shall I throw him in!? Or wake him up?... Please let me throw him in.”
“You’ve already went against not knocking him out, I will definitely not let you throw him.” She glared at her. “Just levitate him through the portal, and I will make sure you don’t throw him.” She said as her horn glowed and a yellowish-blue portal was seen instead of the usual purple. She also strapped a saddle bag on him with a note in one of the bags. Luna followed what she said, gently lifting and bringing the prince into the portal… only to immediately throw him in.
“SO LONG, SUCKER!!!” She laughed. “I gotta tell everyone!!!” She ran up the stairs. “Blueblood is gone, everyone! Let's party!!!”
“THIS IS WHY EVERYPONY WAS SCARED OF YOU!!!” Celestia shouted in anger as she really didn’t like how her sister went against her… again!
It has already been three weeks since I move out and I finally unpacked everything into my new home. I apologize for not writing in a while(unpacking being the reason), but now that I don’t have work today, I could spend this nice afternoon on my couch surfing through the internet. Even though my mother thinks it’s a waste of time, I find it quite the entertaining thing to do when you don’t have anything to actually do.
The typing stopped for a moment as she wiped her brow a little, her loose dark brown hair moving away from her face.
And I think I need the small break after so many tears my mother shead as she didn't want me to leave yet. Man, her grip was hard on me…
She cracked her knuckles as her hands felt a little stiff.
My dad honestly didn't care. He was just happy that I'm someplace warm so I wouldn't worry about snow anymore. As for my siblings… they couldn't really react since they were busy with their own life.
She glanced away from the screen, fixing her small glasses as she moved the laptop a little off her lap.
I think I'll miss all of them. But I won't show it. I have to be strong for them. Anyways, I better get going, I may say I have nothing to do, but perhaps one more clean up won't hurt.
~Melissa
The girl sighed as she closed the laptop as she looked up at the ceiling. She thought that writing a journal entry might help, but she really didn't like that all she was doing was starting the cycle of work and home in a new location.
She slowly got up from the couch, leaving her laptop behind as she walked to her bathroom and took a look at herself. Melissa was a fairly normal girl, with brown hair, hazel eyes, and clothes that you would most likely see a background character from a show wear. She scratched her scalp as she was reminded on how she needed to wash her hair before she went to bed.
“Man,” She spoke. “This is kinda boring.” She looked over at the small window in the bathroom. “I hate this. Nothing but work, home and sleep. I want to change this cycle.” She was quiet before she talked to herself again. “Hmm…what about a roommate?” She smiled.
But that quickly vanished. “Nah, they'll just eat all my cookies and chips.” She shook her head as she remembered her best friend and older sister’s experience with that problem. “Besides, I already have a pet.” She smiled bigger as she heard the clinking of metal and teeth. “And looks like their drinking again.”
She sighed as she rested her head on her hand. “Maybe I should just go with what I got. Not everyone has the movie life, and I'm just a simple face in the crowd. But it wouldn't hurt for a little change in life.” She smiled again. Whether some deity heard what she spoke to herself, or a mere coincidence, a loud thud came onto her front door, which was followed by a painful sounding groan.
Melissa’s smile disappeared once again by the sudden sound as she didn’t know what to think of it. Her mind immediately thought it was a burglar, killer, or maybe some obsessive boy that saw her online and wanted her.
“... Ow…” The voice, which was a man’s, groaned in pain. “... Tia?... Lulu?... Where am I?”
‘Tia? Lulu? Are they his partners in crime?’ She thought as she slowly went out the bathroom and to the front door, deciding that checking who was out there was better than just opening the door. Looking through the eye hole, all she saw what looked liked the tip of a white horn. Knocking came.
“Hello? Is there any simple peasant inside? I need directions to Canterlot.” A pause, followed by more knocking. “If you give me directions, I'll pay you handsomely… just not as handsome as me!”
‘Canterlot?’ She thought as she also heard the ‘handsome reward’ part and could easily tell that this creature had a rather big ego. ‘I don’t even know where that is… but I know I shouldn’t leave someone who’s lost. Even with how big of an ego he has.’ She thought. She inhaled before she decided to speak out. “Yes. Hello? Who is this?” She asked.
“‘Who's this’!? I am Prince Blueblood, heir to the Canterlot Throne! Who is this!? You should already know who I am! All of Equestria knows about me!”
“Well, my name is Melissa. And sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t think you’re in this Equestria place anymore. The place you're in now is Jacksonville Florida. And in Florida, there aren’t any princes, princesses, kings or queens.” She said as she rested against the door.
“Jacksonville!? Well lead me to this ‘Jack’, Melissa, and I won't have my aunt come here and place all of you under arrest for kidnapping me!”
“There is no Jack that owns this city.” She crossed her arms. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t try to get over eight hundred thousand humans behind bars. And I don’t think your aunt can do that.”
“Yes she can! And- wait…. Humans? What are those? Some kind of hairless monkeys?”
“You could say that. But I don't know how powerful your aunt is, but I know she won't be against the laws of this place.”
“She moves the sun AND the moon! Now open, or else I'll find my way back and have my Aunt throw you in jail!”
“Well with that tone, I don't think I can. And in this world, the sun doesn't move and the moon moves on its own. And in this world, if they see a animal like you, you'll probably be sent to a science facility and dissected since no one has seen anything like you.” She smirked.
“What the-!? You savages!!! Fine! I will find my way back home without your help, and my Aunt and her army will take over your excuse for a kingdom! Goodbye!” He flicked his tail and walked down the hall. “Ugh, and this place is filthy!”
“Just think of the news title: Talking animal: alien or science experiment gone wrong?” She giggled. “Anyways, you have fun while I get something to eat.”
“Bah!!!” He walked to an elevator. Curiously, he clicked on a button… or buttons. “... Any time, machine!” He turned around and knocked on Melissa's door. “How does your stupid machine work!?”
“Oh? I thought you said you could find your way home without my help. If that's the case, then I can't answer.” She said in a smug tone as she was in the kitchen making some white chocolate pancakes, the smell filling the house and even seeping through the cracks. He sniffed it, followed by his stomach growling.
“Ugh… so hungry… Make me something to eat!”
“Sorry, but I don’t want to.” Melissa said. “And isn’t giving food count as helping you?” The smile on her face only grew as she knew that he might give in.
“I said I'm hungry and you give me something to eat! And I don't need your help, filthy peasant! There's a difference between helping and assisting! Now give me food!”
This time, Melissa didn’t answer as she flipped her flapjack and made it land dead center. “Nice.” She smiled as she finished the other side and placed it on a plate. She then got ready to make another one. “Hmm… maybe some hot chocolate might go well with this.” She spoke to herself.
“You made me do this! And I just had my hooficure.” He turned around and, not really wanting to do it, bucked the door with his back left leg. The front door was slightly bent.
“Hey! That’s my door you’re hitting!” Melissa shouted as she put the other pancake on the first.
“Let me in then! You're going to fix it, and make my hoof look-” The door went back to it's original form, no longer bent. “... What did you just do!?”
“What are you talking about!? You almost broke my door and now it’s fixed. You sure you didn’t use some alien technology or something?” She asked as she actually looked over at the fixed door. She stared at it for a little while longer before she shrugged and decided to continue making more pancakes.
“Hey! First off, let me in! Second, I use magic! And third!” His horn glowed as he tried to open the doorknob. Melissa could see the doorknob having a blue aura around it, but nothing happening. “OH COME ON!!! OPEN!!!”
“What the heck are you doing to my door knob?” She asked as she poked at the blue aura, it feeling cold and hot at the same time. “Feels weird...” She mumbled.
“Trying to open it, stupid! Another stupid peasant, I see. What's this made from!? Chrysalis’s throne!?”
“Who’s Chrysalis?” She asked as she moved away from the door and finished her third and final pancake. “You know, I could let you in and give you food. But you have to do something for me so that you can be safe and get help from someone who knows this world.”
“I don't need help!... But what is it?” He sighed in defeat.
“You just need to say the magic word.” She smiled. “While also admitting that you want and need my help.” Blueblood gasped.
“Never!”
“Then I guess you’ll starve to death.” She said as she brought her plate with her and started cutting up the first one.
She stayed quiet as she ate the first piece and even hummed at how good it tasted.
“Ugh… please?”
“Hmm? What was that?” She asked before she took a sip of her hot chocolate.
“I said please.”
“Sorry, I can’t quite hear through your ego. Can you annunciate?”
“I said please!!! Now let me in!!!”
“You forgot the second part of the deal.” She said as she ate another piece.
“... And I… may need… your…” He mumbled away.
“Mmmmmyes?”
“I said that I… just probably… need your help.”
“Do we really have to go through all of this again?” She asked as she rested against the door.
“I need your help! Now let me in!!!”
Melissa smiled as she got up, placing her plate down on the table and put it back to open the door. Blueblood tapped his hooves, impatiently waiting, and having the urge to throw up after saying those things.
“Was that so hard?” She smiled as she kept her cool as she didn’t want to freak out over a talking blond unicorn with a white coat. ‘It’s like those stereotypical unicorns… or those lovely steeds in some other little girl’s fantasy story.’ She thought. Blueblood stared at her, looking at her figure.
“... Well, you're not as ugly as a minotaur.” he commented
“And you’re no prince charming yourself sweetheart.” She smirked before she turned around. “Come in before I think of some other way to let you be nice.” She said as she went over to the kitchen. Blueblood followed, but stepped around, almost as if the place was a minefield.
“Ugh, stooped to common levels. By Faust, what did I do to deserve this? Trapped in a filthy, small house with a hairless monkey!”
“Thanks for the compliment on my home. I worked really hard to earn it.” She crossed her arms as she leaned against the counter. “And with an attitude like that, I won’t feel sorry for starving you.”
“Oh hush! I'll be out soon. My Aunt will be here in no time.”
Equestria
The Throne room had turned into a wild party, with Luna on a corner auctioning off some of Blueblood’s junk. Celestia sat on a table, a bit surprised by everyone's actions, followed by her feeling a bit down.
“Please learn your lesson soon.” She mumbled to herself as Rarity smashed a head bust of the Prince.
Earth
“I guarantee it.” Blueblood smirked. “But, in the meantime… I guess I'll try to survive in your pig sty of a home, Melissa.”
“You know I’m really not stopping from you leaving if that’s how you feel about my home.” She said as she took her own plate and resumed eating her pancakes again.
“Like I said, I will deal with it. But first, does my hoof look bad?” He lifted his back leg. “I can't have hooves not match with my face!”
“First, I can’t tell, and second, I think no one would care if your hoof doesn’t match your face. I mean, it’s not like you can roam freely like this.” She said.
“Of course I can't! I need to be as beautiful as a royal stallion can be. Now check! I can feel my beauty swelling away by the seconds.”
“Yeah, no.” She said. “Again, no one will see you even if you are one hundred percent pretty or something.” She ate her pancake again as she was halfway finished now.
“You can't let me be ugly like you! I have my standards, you know!”
“Well,your standards don’t matter now. You’re in a unknown world, with unknown beings, and have to either adapt or cling on to those ‘standards’ and rejects everything and will soon die.” She said. “And by how you act, I don’t think any of those other ponies will care.”
“They do care! I'm one of the most important ponies! When my aunt is gone, I'm going to be king!”
“If you’re so important, then why are you here? If this was some form of getting rid of you, then you wouldn’t be here and probably curling in your golden silk bed. And what about your other family members? If you’re gone and your aunt is gone as well, mostly the vice or co-ruler will be the main ruler now.” She explained. “Heck, even if you were still home, the vice or co-ruler would be the next queen of this Equestria place.”
“You know nothing about Equestria, monkey!”
“But I do know some of the laws of leadership and royal bloodline.” She said. “Even in this world we have kings and queens, princes and princesses. But only in various countries.”
“Then one of them knows Equestria! Tomorrow, you're taking me to one of these countries!”
“Listen, no one has ever heard of Equestria. So I don’t think someone of royal blood will know any better.” She said as she really didn’t want to know what they might do with an ‘exotic’ animal coming to their front door.
“Then how much will a train ride cost?”
“More like a plain ride.” She mumbled. “And if anyone sees you, you’ll only get a one way ticket to dissection-ville.” She said. “With that magic stuff and that you can talk, surely someone would want to either sell you off to someone or do some really f’ed up stuff.” She shook her head. “I’m just trying to not let yourself get killed by how snobbish and spoiled you act.”
“I'm not snobbish and spoiled! I'm just a pony who has a better position and a sense of everything compared to you.”
“Oh really? Then answer me this: what was the most recent thing that you’ve done that was nice towards someone other than yourself without having any personal gain to yourself?” She asked. “And if you’re a prince, then that means you have servants and maids. Have you ever thanked them or even did something for them instead?”
“Of course both at the same time; Yesterday, I laid off our oldest servant and had him replaced by a new maid. He was so happy, he teared up and gave his goodbyes to some of his coworkers.”
“I think he was more happy that he didn’t have to work with you anymore.” Melissa rolled her eyes. “What about helping to the community? Have you done some volunteer work for others without any payment or reward?”
“Also yes! I hung the Hearth’s Warming Eve star!!”
“... have you ever done manual labor?” She asked. “Like, got a job to earn your own money?”
“Pfft! I'm a prince! A prince is already a job itself, albeit, one you have to be born into, and can be fun.”
“Jobs are rarely considered fun. And that answer just proves that you were spoiled from the minute you were born.” She shook her head. “You haven’t experience hard labor, why, I bet you didn’t even go through the hard parts of school… or maybe they just gave you A’s cause your a prince.”
“My aunt was a good teacher!”
“Just proves how easygoing your teacher was.”
“She's a princess who controls the sun. She's not easygoing at all.”
“Really? Is that all she does? Or maybe she runs a small court as well. Either way, I know that royalty doesn’t have to do a lot, but the prince and princesses in this world do things they don’t need to do. They sound so much better than you or your aunt.”
“Hey!!! Nopony’s better than my aunt! I bet none of them are 1,328 years old.”
“Well, it’s true that none of us can actually live that long, but I have a feeling some kings and queens have done more things than just raising and lowering a celestial body.” She rolled her eyes. “I bet she does nothing but sit in that throne of hers and pretty much hears the complaints of ponies she doesn’t really care for.”
“She does more than that! She's single hoofly fought many forces that would bring the end of the world! United Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth Ponies, and, along with moving the sun, also moved the moon when her sister was banished to the moon for a thousand years, all with no sleep! BAM!!!”
“Hmm… I have a strong feeling that she told you all of that and you never really saw any of that happen. And why just those three types of ponies? Why not zebras, donkeys, or that minotaur thing you said I looked like? Are they not refined to your aunties standards like you?” Blueblood glared at her. He stood up and walked out.
“I should've just left when I had the chance! You and your peanut brain can't comprehend the might of my aunt. I will find my way home and have my aunt take over your excuse for land!” Instead of going to the elevator, he opened the door to the stairs and began to walk down. “And I can't believe I'm going down without my servants, and anyone to carry me!”
Melissa rolled her eyes as she looked away, seeing a small sheet of paper on the floor. She read the note, only to see that now she really regretted letting this unicorn in her home. “This Celestia girl really knows how to pick ‘em.” She mumbled as she waited for him to reach a pull door that he couldn’t push… it being the door to the second flights of stairs. All that could be heard was some woman shrieking.
“Put a sock in it!” Blueblood yelled back, still continuing his way down.
“You know you forgot something. Something from Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.” She decided to call out as she rolled up the previously sealed scroll.
“They won't mind!” Another door opened. Almost immediately, loud honking came, followed by a crash outside. Melissa looked out of a window and saw Blueblood walking away.
She couldn’t help but groan as she knew that she had to go get him before he really gets hit by a car. She grabbed a dog leash from the very back of her kitchen as she put on a light jacket, her keys, and even the note before she left her apartment so that she could get Blueblood. “This isn’t the change I was wishing for.” She said to herself as she crossed the same street. “Blueblood!” She called out.
“Mommy! Look! A Unicorn!” A little girl with her mother pointed out.
“Look! A dirty child!” Blueblood mocked. This made the girl blink, then cry. The mother glared at him. “Hey, it's impolite to point.” He stuck his muzzle up and continued to walk… until he stepped on some gum. “Eww! Disgusting!!!”
It wasn’t that hard to locate his snobby voice as she saw him trying to take the gum off the coat on his hoof. She leaned against the tree, watching him do this for a few more seconds before yourself. “How’s the search going your highness?” She asked, sounding as smug as ever.
“I just started, thank you!” He tried to wipe the gum off of his hoof. “If you're here to apologize, then I shall accept… probably.”
“Then I guess I’ll probably show the note your aunties gave you. It fell out of your saddle bag since you haven’t noticed it was on you yet.” She said as she pulled out the small scroll with the royal seal on it.
“Read it! What did they say!?”
Melissa cleaned her throat before she started:
My dearest cousin,
I know you must be wondering where you are and why you are here. Well… it seems that both my sister and I see that you have gotten a little too comfortable in the royal life. With you wanting somepony to play a certain song on the flute to wake you up, to nearly firing a maid for one small stain on your shirt. And it is certain that the small talks we’ve been doing to straighten you out never works. So, both of us have decided that you need to experience what it feels like to start at the bottom and work your way to the top. We’ve sent you to a world where your royal title won’t make things easier for you. There isn’t much magic in this place either, but you can at least levitate things that are lighter than you.
She had to clear her throat again before she continued.
So, if you think that me or my sister might easily pick you up, I am sad to say that we can’t. The portal we used is a special one that will open once a task is complete: the task being that you could reform yourself and understand that royal blood doesn’t make you any better. So, if you want to get home quickly, you just have to treat others as you want to be treated.
Your loving aunt, Celestia
She then read to the small notes.
P.S: This mainly happened cause you stole Luna’s moon cakes again. P.P.S: At this moment, Luna is probably going to leave a big surprise as a little revenge for that.
The next one was obviously by Luna.
P.P.P.S: THOSE MOON CAKES TAKE ME YEARS TO MAKE!!!
“... I'M STUCK!!!” Blueblood yelled in panic. “What am I going to to do!? What am I going to do!? I'm a good prince! I've been one! They told me those Moon cakes were free! I-I've been set up! There has to be a typo! A-aunt Tia’s not a great speller!”
“Are you saying your teacher isn’t a great speller?” She said with a smile as she sat down at the floor. “And by how the last part sounds, I don’t think they were free.”
“I'M TRAPPED!!! I'm gonna die here! I'm gonna die a lonely, unattractive stallion! And at a young age! Tia!!! Come back!!!”
Melissa sighed as she moved a little closer. “You’re not going to be trapped here forever.” She spoke. “I mean, if your aunt knows that you could do this, then she wouldn’t have done this, right? And are you saying that the prince of Equestria can’t even be nice? Man, if that’s the case, then maybe you aren’t prince material.” She crossed her arms.
“I am prince material and I am nice! I'm just being set up, somehow. It's probably that Shining Armor… Or Discord. Oh, I'm gonna play their game, and I'm gonna expose them for the crooks they are!”
“Okay, and why would they be prime suspects? Do they want to be princes too?” She asked as she didn’t know the names.
“Shining Armor is a prince, but not an heir to a throne! He's only a prince thanks to Princess Cadence, another princess, but not related. And Discord because he's the self proclaimed Lord of Chaos, and, knowing him, this is just an elaborate trick.”
“Well, Shining Armor doesn’t sound like he would need to mess with you, and with someone titled the lord of chaos, I think that if it was him, he might’ve done much worse.”
“He likes to toy with his victims. But if I'm going to find out who set me up, I need to play this game of theirs and get back. But first, I need a place to rest… do you know any five star hotels I can book in?”
“The only ones I know of don’t allow pets.” She got up from her spot on the floor. “I mean, you could stay at my place, but some things have to be clarified before we go back.” She said as she put her hands in her pocket.
“Ugh, like what?”
“I won’t say until you want to come back.” She said.
“... Fine. I guess I'll go with you.”
“Alright.” She smiled as she pulled a leash out. “But first, you have to be on a leash. All animals have to be on one. Talking or non.”
“... Are you serious?” He glared.
“Does it look like I’m joking?” She asked with a serious look. “If you aren’t on a leash, I would have to pay a fine and you could be taken away from me. And I think you know what happens when someone else has you.”
“Other than ruining my Mane and coat?”
“Your coat and mane doesn’t matter right now.” She said as she tried to put the leash on him herself.
“Ugh, I guess I'm now your pet? No longer a prince, nor a simple minded peon peasant, but a barking dog. Shall I roll over for you while we're here? Or do… whatever dogs do.”
“I guess you would call that starting at the bottom.” She smiled as she made sure the leash wasn’t too tight around him. “And don’t worry, this will only happen if we have to go outside. Inside you could go wherever you want. Just… don’t mess with some of my things please.” She got up onto her feet.
“Arf Arf.” He groaned. “This is so embarrassing.”
“I didn’t say that you have to act like a dog… unless you're into that type of stuff.” She blushed pink before shaking her head and starting to head back to the apartment, the unicorn stallion in tow.
“I don't even know what you mean by that. And do you have a mutt with you? I guess I have to share some unwashed, covered in fur, dog blanket with it?”
“Actually, this was from my old home. They had two dogs there, so with so many leashes, I don’t think the minded if I took one just in case.” She said. “I really liked the dogs, I just hated cleaning the messes they made.”
“I guess we can agree on that… just as long as said dog is properly trained and won't give kisses unless commanded. But, what am I saying? I'm more of a cat pony. At least they don't do all the gross stuff dogs do.”
“Wait, you think I have one of them with me? Sorry, but after living my life with three dogs, I think I’m done with dogs entirely. But, I won’t say that I have a pet of my own.” She smiled as she thought of the two. “I think you’ll like them. Unless you don’t like getting scratches from them. Their nails are kinda sharp.”
“Please, you're looking at a feline professional here. I know cats like the back of my well polished hooves!”
Melissa only smiled as the small conversation lead them to already being at the front door already. She unlocked the door, taking the leash off of Blueblood once it was clear that there was no need for it anymore. “I’ll get one of them from the cage.” She said, placing a untouched pancake on the table. “You should probably eat before they try and take it themselves.” She then glanced over at him. “Is chocolate toxic for you?”
“No, it's not. And I prefer dark chocolate covered cherries.”
“Dark chocolate isn’t my favorite. But I wouldn’t mind a sweet cherry.” She smiled before she went off to another room. Blueblood looked around the apartment, figuring some way to make more to his liking. He turned to the pancakes sitting, awaiting to be devoured.
‘Common, sugary breakfast!? I've got to make this place better in more than one way!’ “Uh… are you having that pancake?”
“I already had dinner. You can have it.” She called out as it seemed she was taking longer than usual to bring her pet out. His stomach growled again.
“Ugh… there goes my diet.” He took the plate and, with some tears, had his meal. It did taste good, that he couldn't lie about, but he was eating something that only common ponies would love. ‘I gotta get some of the freshest ingredients for my new prison. How much is Saffron and dragon eggs again?’
Once he was finished with his meal, that was when Melissa came out, a smile on her face as it looked she had nothing in her arms. “Did the pancakes taste good? I mean, I eat them all the time, and I can’t really hate on what I made.” She asked.
“My diet is ruined!!!” He squinted his eyes at her “I hope you're happy.”
“I’ll take it that you liked it enough to eat most of it.” She smirked as she saw the almost finished pancake. “So, do you wanna see Pepper?” She asked with a bigger smile.
“Unless it's accompanied by Salt.”
Melissa couldn’t help but laugh. “How did you know the other’s name?” She smiled. “Either way, this is Pepper, one of my two little sweethearts.” As soon as she said that, a gray rat with black spots came out from her hoodie’s hood and was on her shoulder. The small animal sniffed the air a little before it aimed its nose and whiskers at Melissa’s neck, making her giggle at how ticklish it felt.
“AHH!!! RAT!!! RAT!!!” He screamed, running to the front door in panic, only to slam into said door and knocked himself unconscious.
“Huh? He sounded just like my landlord.” She said as she lightly petted Pepper’s head.
The next day had arrived to Florida. Melissa slowly woke up from the small bit of sunlight that crept its way inside her apartment. Of course, she wasn't alone, as loud yawning was heard in the living room.
“Ugh… Aunt Tia?” Blueblood grogged. “I just had a strange dream. You put me in a different world with… with…” His vision, though blurred, came back. Squeaking away while on and sniffing the Prince’s chest was a white rat. “... RAT!!! RAT!!!” He stood up and jumped onto the couch, screaming his head off. “KILL IT!!! SOMEPONY!!! KILL THE RAT!!!”
“Salt! What did I tell you about escaping the cage!?” He heard Melissa call out as she came out in her pajamas and messy hair. She easily picked the rat up and put them on her shoulder. “Well, at least I know you're awake.” She smirked before she went back to her room. “Let me just clean myself before I get breakfast ready.” He heard her say.
“... Oh great, that was real. Or is this a dream?... Excuse me, but can you kill me? I feel death is the only solution to get out of this nightmare of mediocrity.”
“Nah. I’m not really in the murdering mood right now.” She said before going to the bathroom and starting to clean herself up.
“Fine! Then I'm going to find a way to wake myself up from this nightmare. But how?” He tapped his chin, then had an idea. “Lightbulb!”
Melissa didn’t hear him as she was brushing her teeth, making sure to replace that terrible morning breath for some minty freshness. Once she was finished, she only brushed her hair and was now finished. ‘Ain’t got no work today, so why bother getting dressed?’ She thought as she opened the door and was making her way to the kitchen. “So, what is it that you ponies eat for breakfast?” She asked. She gasped as she saw Blueblood’s head in a bag of sugar, gagging underneath the wave of sugar. “Blueblood! What the heck are you doing!?” She yelled as she was quick to pull the sugar bag off his head, spilling the remaining sugar on the floor. She held the side of her head as she could only see all the sugar gone to waste. “Damn it… I just bought this bag.” She mumbled as she knew that she had to buy more now before she might regret it in the near future… it always happens when she waits until the last minute.
“I was going to get out of this nightmare! Humph! You must be Luna in disguise. I can tell by your actions.”
“A nightmare? How can you wake up to a nightmare?” She asked. “And if it was a nightmare, then how could you have felt pain from when you slammed against the door last night after you saw Pepper?” She asked. “From what I know, you can’t feel pain in a dream.”
“Well I thought that was a nightmare! Trapped in a world filled with hairless minotaurs isn't my idea of a good dream.”
“Of course not.” She rolled her eyes as she threw out the empty bag. “And I appreciate that you had to go through my entire full bag of sugar that I just bought.” She glared at him before she went to search for the broom and dustpan.
“Oh please! This is nothing compared to your pest infestation.” His ears and eyes began to twitch. “Why do I feel so weird?”
“It’s not an infestation. They are my pets and I give them as much freedom as you would give to your child.” She crossed her arms. “And that means Salt is having a time out for scaring you.” She didn’t bother continuing as she began to clean up the sugar on the floor.
“Good! That's good! Goody-good-good!... Why are you so slow all of a sudden!?” He began to hop around wildly.
She raised a brow at his response, looking over at how much he wasn’t acting like himself. “Are… are you okay?” She asked.
“I feel great! I feel great! I feel great! I feel sad. What's Hoofball!? I can't remember my legs!” He began to run around in circles. “WHEE!!! CIRCLES!!!”
She only watched him go a little crazy over sugar as she finished cleaning the last of it. Once she was finished, she sat down on the couch and relaxed… until Blueblood began to jump on the couch.
“Hey! Melissa! Listen to what I have to say! Pttthtphhtttpthp! What did I say? What did I just say!? Or how about this? Ooh-eee-ohh-ah-ha! How weird is that!?”
Melissa’s eyes snapped open at the action as she had an expression that told that it was too early for this kind of thing. “Blueblood, now isn't the time for a sugar rush…” She mumbled as she turned away, facing the bed as she only saw the dull red color of it. Blueblood hopped onto her shoulders, his upside down head meeting hers.
“What do you want to do!? I saw plenty of pine cones outside! We can make pine cone statues! Or pine cone bird feeders! Plenty of pine cones! Peanut butter and pine cones! Pine cones! Pine cones! We're gonna board pine cone express to the NEW CENTURY!!!”
“Blueblood. Don’t make me take out the duct tape. I know that fur and tape don’t go together.” She threatened as she was thinking of taping his mouth(and perhaps his body) shut.
“NO!!!” He replied, holding himself to the ceiling.
“Then shut up and get down from there!” She shouted.
“Nono!... Parakeet!”
She only glared at the pony before she got up and made her way to her room. Before she could lay on her bed, knocking was heard on her front door.
“Leprechaun!” Blueblood blurted before physically turning the doorknob open.
“What the-!?” Another man's voice spoke before letting out an ‘ooph’. Melissa ran to the door to only see Blueblood standing and bouncing on his hind legs as he slapped Joey, her neighbor and young musician.
“Heya buddy! Wanna go!” Blueblood delivered a few slaps to Joey's face.
“Ow! Cut that out! Melissa!?”
“Ohmygosh, Joey!” She called out before she grabbed Blueblood like a large dog and pulled him back inside. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be right back.” She smiled before she brought the hyper unicorn to her bedroom. All he heard was the familiar sound of duck tape being unrolled a couple of times, some banging, then Melissa was the only one coming out with some scorch marks on her clothes and even her hair. She cleaned her hair as best as she could before speaking. “So, what’s the surprise visit?”
“... Uh… Was that a unicorn slapping me?” he asked, completely dumbfounded on what just happened, rubbing his cheeks.
“Uhh… no?” She answered with a cheesy smile.
“... Melissa, you're such a terrible liar. That has got to be a freakin’ Unicorn! Or unless you're gonna say that it's a large dog and I'm on something.”
“It’s a large dog and you’re on something.” She repeated what he said with a bigger smile. He face palmed himself.
“You're not even trying, are you? Alright, I know you have it in your room, tied up with duct tape, and I'm only going to ask you this: May I see it?”
“You… want to see the creature that slapped you?” She asked with a confused look.
“Yes, Melissa. I want to see it… and give it a good slap myself.” He barged in, cracking his knuckles.
“No, stop. He was just crazy on sugar.” She called out as she grabbed onto one of his arms.
“Sugar!? He!?”
“Yes, for some reason he got into my sugar and I guess got hyper… and annoying.” She looked away as she was still grabbing onto his arm.
“... And where did you find a Unicorn?”
“Well, he kinda found me. He knocked on my door, asking where some place called Canterlot was. And he even threatened me with his aunt that somehow controls the sun.” She rolled her eyes as she let go now.
He paused. “... What!? Canterlot?... Hold on… I think my cousin knows that… is his aunt something like Cakia? Celestial?... Celestia?”
“Celestia. And how would your cousin know of this place?” She asked as she was confused on someone else knowing of a new world or alternate dimension entirely.
“Oh great. Not only are you housing a unicorn, but a unicorn from some girl's show! Alright, who's it? That Jewelry loving mare or some other character?”
“Wait, he’s in some TV show?” She asked, ignoring his own questions.
“Yeah. That is, whoever ‘He’ is.”
“Well, he calls himself Prince Blueblood. I swear, he’s like one of those stuck up rich people.” She rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms.
“... Oh God no.” He opened her door. They saw Blueblood, wrapped like a mummy in duct tape, but he was already asleep, with some drool pouring out. “... Alright, you grab him by one side, and I'll take the other. Trash day is here, and they don't check what's in the cans.”
“Wait what? Why? I know he’s a bit of a jerk, but that’s no reason to try and throw him in the garbage.” Melissa said as she didn’t move to help with his plan.
“You want pretty much the most annoying character in your home?”
“I already know he’s annoying. And if I can handle my cousin, then I could handle some alien pony.” She said as she knew her cousin was ten times worse. ‘I’ll never let her come to my house ever again...’ She thought.
“... Why are you allowing this? You do realize that this guy is going to be a pain in the ass if you let him live here.”
“And you think it’s better to just throw him away. You know what those garbage trucks do to garbage, and I wouldn’t want that to be stuck in my head. And doing this will make you even worse than him.” She said. “He already knows that he can’t do anything without me, and even if he broke anything, some weird magic will fix it.”
“Or you can just kick him out. Melissa… what are you planning on doing with this horse? What's your motivation this time? You're in no financial or physical problems, so why are you having a unicorn around?”
Melissa stayed quiet for a moment, looking away as she honestly didn’t have a valid reason, but it was still a reason. “I was just thinking on what my mom would do.” She rubbed her arms. “Even if someone is the most vile and evil person in the world, you can still turn them around. And I know that he isn’t even evil. He’s just spoiled. Perhaps he was sent here so he could understand that money isn’t everything and being royalty doesn’t make you better than anyone. I mean, if I didn’t follow that rule, then I wouldn’t have met you.” She smiled a little as she looked up at him. “And I know your dad wouldn’t want to hear about you throwing someone in the trash just cause you don’t like them.”
“Snitch.” He glared, looking at Blueblood then back to her. He sighed. “Alright, if you say it's to help something other worldly, then who am I to judge. But I'm not sure; he's going to have to get a job ASAP, and not spend all his cash in one go.”
“Are you serious? How can an alien pony get a job. He might be sent to some science facility quicker then being approved of a job.” She said as she couldn’t believe he would suggest that.
“Yeah… or, no one care that there's a unicorn walking around.”
“You think no one would care for a mythical creature walking on the street? That’s the dumbest thing to assume.” Melissa shook her head as she felt that her friend was losing some brain cells over this.
“I know they would, but do you really think the government is going to put all of their resources on one unicorn? A unicorn who is working at a McDonalds as cashier and for minimum wage? Unless he landed in some government facility, I doubt they're going to be like the ones we see from the movies.”
“Well… maybe we should make him get adjusted to the area before he starts working. I mean, it might be too much to just get him to work.” Melissa said as she rubbed her arm again. “It did for me.”
“Yeah, fair enough. And when he gets a job, give it a few months, but he should help pay the rent.”
“For now, I think he should be given some chores. That seems like a good start.”
“Also good. Want me to help give him a tour of the area? And find some job applications later?”
“Maybe. I’ll call you when we start doing that.” She said as she walked away from her bedroom and sat down on the couch.
“Gotcha.” Muffled screaming came. They turned to see Blueblood wide awake, his screaming now muffled by the large amount of duct tape all around him.
“Looks like he’s awake.” She mumbled before getting back up and crouching down to where he was tied up. She yanked the tape off of his muzzle.
“What happened!? I blanked out and I'm tied up for some reason! What happened!? And get me out! It's ruining my luscious coat and mane!”
“Just shut it. We have an idea on what to do with you and maybe how to send you back.” Melissa said, knowing the last part will make him listen.
“You know a complex spell that can send me back?”
“... What!?” Joey spoke in confusion.
“No, but I think I know what you have to do for this portal spell thing to activate and send you back… possibly.” She answered, knowing that magic was fake here.
“Possibly?” Blueblood asked. “What do you mean by that?”
“What I mean is that you have to try and see things through a ‘peasant’s’ point of view.” She said with a smile. “And that means that you also have to go through things that people who aren’t as lucky as you go through.”
“Ech! Living like a peasant!? I'd rather die than stoop to your class.”
“It's either that or dying of old age here, buster.” Joey replied.
“What!?... And who's this monkey?”
“Monkey!? Why you little-!” Joey was ready to pummel Blueblood with his fists.
“This is Joey. He’s my friend and he’s here to help.” She answered as she held on tightly to his arm, her nails almost digging into his arm.
“Help?” Blueblood asked. “How is he going to help? He looks like he could barely afford anything.”
“Hey!” Joey yelled.
“He is going to help you into finding a job. So you could really work instead of showing off your money and bossing people around.” She said, letting Joey go. “And like he said, it’s either living like us and accepting our help, or you’ll never get back home and just die of old age.” She crossed her arms. “And I honestly wouldn’t mind keeping you like this for the rest of your life. Makes it easier for me.” She smirked.
“How!?” Blueblood and Joey asked in unison.
“Didn’t you just say you were going to find job applications for him!?” Melissa shouted at Joey as she thought that he might have some sort of short term memory loss.
“Yes,” Joey replied. “But how is it going to be easier on you?”
“Keeping him tied up?” She asked. “Well, he will be staying in one place, no risk of him eating any more of my stuff or even breaking anything. And I know he’ll love being at eye level with Salt and Pepper.” She smiled as she knew Blueblood wasn’t used to the rats yet.
“Oh no!” Blueblood whimpered. “Anything but that, please!”
“So will you go through a peasant's life?” She asked as she crouched down with a smile.
“Until I can find and purchase a spell book… I might as well.” He groaned.
“That’ll be quite a long time. Sad to say, but there aren’t any real spell books. Just some that we came up with.” She said as she got up and went to her dresser, opening her junk drawer and taking out a pocket knife.
“... Please… don't cut my mane and coat.”
She didn’t say anything as she went over to where he was and used the knife to cut the tape off. Of course, this did result in some small bits of his coat being cut down by only a few inches. Blueblood could only scream as he saw ‘patches’ of luscious coat, mane, and tail gone in his reflection.
“WHY-Y-Y!?!?!?” He screamed dramatically
“Oh come on. Why are you complaining now. I didn’t cut your mane or coat off.” She said, not seeing why he was screaming like he lost something precious.
“You ruined me! I'm almost as bad looking as the Yaks now!”
“... You two have fun.” Joey spoke, turning and leaving.
“Oh no you don’t.” She grabbed his arm before he even left the room. “You said you were going to help, and I think you need to give him a good tour around the city. And while you’re doing that, find him a job. Once you knocked on my door, he’s also your problem as well.”
“... Really?... Fine, come along, horse, you're getting a tour.”
“I am a unicorn!” Blueblood glared, following Joey.
Melissa watched as the two left, her home being quiet for once. She sighed as she rubbed her eyes and even yawned. Even though sleep sounded like a good idea, she knew that she had some grocery shopping to do.
Both Blueblood and Joey had their tour. While most people stopped and stared at the unicorn, with that good couple being kids wanting to ride him, everyone went back to their business. The duo visited the important landmarks and buildings, from the mall, to the park, and the beach. They weren't finished, however, and visited the grocery store.
“And this is our final destination.” Joey concluded the tour. “The grocery store. So, where do you think you can work in?”
“... Is the Burger King a real kingdom?” Blueblood asked. Joey face palmed himself.
Melissa could hear the two as she couldn’t help but giggle at the dumb question. Since the two left, she was shopping for a lot of stuff. From a book on how to take care of ponies to some grooming supplies. Now she was off getting some food, reading the newly purchased book to see what Blueblood could eat and what might be toxic to him. The two arrived to her.
“Hello, Melissa.” Joey spoke. “Blueblood had himself a tour around, but I'm not sure where he should work first.”
“I demand a chat with the king of burgers!” Blueblood demanded.
“Oh for the love of-! It's just a mascot! Okay!?”
“I demand an audience with him!” Joey groaned before turning to Melissa.
“How are things going for you? And… what are those?” He picked up her book and the grooming supplies. “... You're not serious, are you?”
“What? If he’s going to get a job, I know he won’t last long if he smells and looks as if he got out of a garbage dump.” She said. “And it’s not like I was prepared to have a pony as a roommate.” She crossed her arms as she knew what she was doing was right. “And honestly, I think it’s going to be like taking care of a dog… that eats plants mostly.”
“I am not a dog!” Blueblood yelled. “And I don't just eat plants!”
Melissa ignored the unicorn as she took the book back. “And besides. Do you know how to take care of a pony?” She asked Joey.
“No, and I doubt fake ponies require the same things as real ponies.” He answered.
“Fake!?” Blueblood appalled, taking a step back. His horn glowed as he pulled some gloves from the top shelf and slapped Joey across his face with them. “Can a fake do that!?”
“Ow!!!”
“Perhaps you should’ve said that when he was still knocked out.” She said as she took the gloves from Blueblood’s magic aura and put them back. “But you do have a point. Maybe an alien pony eats different stuff.”
“I am not an alien!” Blueblood replied. “You're the aliens!”
“Technically speaking, you’re in our world. And unless there is another alien pony like you, you’re the alien here.” She said as she crossed her arms on the handle of the shopping cart.
“Then what is this?” He levitated the book in his magic. “I see your kind has a passion for enslaving citizens of Equestria. I think the king of burgers would like a word on this.” Joey face palmed again, groaning in annoyance.
“Blueblood. Burger King isn't the name of some actual king. And in this world, ponies and horses are less intelligent here then where you're from. Heck, humans are the only intelligent species on this planet as far as we know now.” Melissa explained.
“That kinda sounds a bit racist.” Joey commented. “Or is it speciesist?”
“To seek an audience with the king himself, you neigh sayers!” He flicked his tail and walked out with his nose held high in the air.
“... He's going to make a fool of himself.”
“Just make sure that he doesn’t blast the mascot in the face or something.” She sighed. “I need to purchase these.”
“You should be more worried if the mascot beats him up.” Joey replied before running after Blueblood.
~
“For the last time, I demand an audience with your king!” Blueblood demanded to the local teenage cashier. The local Burger was, as expected, filled with customers, most too busy having their whoppers to pay any attention to the unicorn that was demanding to meet the otherwise creepy looking plastic faced king.
“I'm sorry, sir,” The cashier behind the booth spoke with a squeaky voice. “But the king won't be back until next week.”
“And I demand to speak to him! I am a prince, so I'm close to becoming a king myself!”
“Again, I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to wait. Can I please take your order?”
“I order you to fetch your king, peasant!” Joey entered and dragged Blueblood away.
“Let's go, idiot!” Joey struggled to drag Blueblood out, who tried to crawl to the cashier and see the king.
“Never!”
“Oh come on! Melissa!? Where is that woman!?”
“In prison like you if you don't release me immediately!”
As if on cue, Melissa was walking over to where they were, bags in her hands as she saw that Joey wasn’t having the best time with Blueblood. She walked over to the two. “I’m guessing that he actually went through with it.” She said as she smiled a little.
“Not now!” Joey growled.
“Ya know, it would’ve been funny to see what a burger is that this so called ‘king’ rules over.” She giggled as she looked over at the prince. “Anyways, if you’re done sightseeing, we can go back home. Unless you want to go job hunting while we’re at it.” She said.
“Oh, and what!? Let Blue Balls here on the loose!?”
“It's Blueblood!” The Prince retorted.
“I didn’t say that.” She crossed her arms. “If you just want to be a stick-in-the-mud about all this, then maybe you’re no use on this plan.” She said as she honestly thought that maybe Joey would understand that she want’s Blueblood out of her life as well.
“Then help me by stop making a fool of himself!” Joey replied, holding both of Blueblood’s flanks in his hands.
“No! Help me get the king!” Blueblood retorted.
“Oh put a cork in it!” Melissa said as she shoved a carrot into Blueblood’s mouth, not really in the mood for his dumb behavior now. After a moment of breathing, she calmed down. “Alright, let’s just go home. This whole day was a mess in itself.” She said as she rubbed her forehead.
“Now are you going to help?” Joey asked rather impatiently.
“I’m helping by giving him a freaking place to live. All I’m asking is that you get some application sheets and that’s it. Is it really that hard. I mean, he can’t break anything and he’s only trouble when he opens his mouth.” Blueblood spat the carrot out.
“What's that suppose to mean!?” He demanded.
“It means what its supposed to mean, now shut up and eat your carrot.” She said before she shoved it back in his mouth. He grumbled spitting it out.
“Alright, for starters, I'm trying to find my way home, and the king of burgers should have a mage that can send me back. Second, I prefer my carrots sliced to 2 x 2 centimeter cubes and steamed to a 375°F for about half an hour.”
“And I prefer to kick your ass.” Joey grumbled. “Care to help now?”
“Blueblood! Magic doesn't exist here! There's no such thing! Only illusions and fake magic. Nothing else. That, and there are no mages and no kings. We're the only two who are trying to help. If all you're going to do is bitch and complain about everything or make pointless actions to find a king that is nothing but a mascot for food, then maybe there's no way to help you.” She said as she turned from angry to upset towards the end. “If you can't just accept what we have,” She said as she held out the carrot. “Then it'll only be harder for you to even get home.”
“... How am I going to act like a dog?” He simply asked.
“That's it!” Joey snapped, picking the prince up. “Let's find you a job!”
“No! Wait! I need to see his majesty!!!”
“The King of Burgers isn't real!” Melissa shouted angrily as she was now hating that she had to help him so he could get out of her life. “He doesn't even have a real name!”
“A title's good enough!” Joey pushed the door open. “NOOO!!!” Melissa followed. The cashier blinked.
“... That was weird.” He simply commented before returning back to work.
“Ya know, I think a bit of duct tape might make this job hunting a whole lot better.” Melissa said with a smile as she pulled out a roll of tape from one of her shopping bags. “At least, it was the last time.” Blueblood continued his struggling.
“Let me go!” He yelled. “From one representative of a kingdom to another, I must seek an audience with this world's king!.. Or queen.”
“We don't have either, idiot.” Joey grunted. “We have a president… a racist, Orange President.”
“Then I seek to chat with them! We can work together to keep other species out!... Perhaps with a wall?”
“No way!” Melissa said as she was close to unrolling a piece of tape to keep his mouth shut.
“What? Every story known has some sort of wall that keeps everyone inside safe and dangers out. Don't you have stories involving a wall as some story point?”
“... Sadly, we do.” Joey admitted.
“Ta-Da! We're more alike than we think! Are you also on the lookout for specific species that may ruin your culture, ways of life, and are inferior to yours?”
“... I'm not going to say anything.”
“Our president is an idiot and he had absolutely no idea how to run a continent.” She crossed her arms. “I'm just waiting until he causes another world war.”
“Ooh! That's how I feel about my aunt sometimes!”
“Celestia?” She asked.
“Yep! She's always trying to befriend the other kingdoms and making them similar to us. I say a wall around our borders will make everything better, especially if they're brutes.”
“... We're with a pony version of Trump, aren't we?” Joey asked, breaking the silence.
“Eeyup.” Melissa simply said.
“Who's Trump?” Blueblood asked. “I'd love to meet him if he's like me.”
“I’d prefer you don’t. Besides, it’s not like we could get ahold of him for you. He’d think we’re crazy if we said a snobby uptight unicorn wants to see him.” She said.
“What about a prince who wants to build a wall?”
“Oh just shut up!” Joey hissed.
“... Did his kind attack this land?”
“There’s only one kind of human, but he thinks that skin color and location on where you were born makes you completely different.” She crossed her arms as she scowled a little.
“Hmm… he's not too off.”
“THAT'S RACIST!!!” Joey yelled.
“Blueblood, just get all of that out of your head. If you don't want to get killed out here, then don't say any of that to anyone.” She said.
“But what if they're supporters? You all made him this ‘President’ for a reason.”
“Yeah, but the smart people decided not to vote and made the idiots vote instead.” She said.
“So a majority of you are idiots?”
“No. Just some people know when there’s no use in trying since the world is going to shit...”
“Your world is turning into feces?”
“Yeah… you could say that.” She mumbled.
“Ugh! I've got to get out of here as soon as possible! Oh, if only I had studied those spells about teleportation and phasing rather than determining the value of those gemstones!... Though they did match my eyes.”
“Shows how much of an idiot you are...” She mumbled again as she had a feeling he knew little to nothing on what to do with the horn on his head.
“What!? When you throw the most extravagant of parties, you must look the part and be a gracious host… if they're invited, of course, and are presentable themselves.”
“I honestly wouldn't care how I look. If I invite my friends to a party a planned myself, then I can wear what I want to wear at my party.” She crossed her arms as she leaned against the wall. “No one tells me what I can or can't wear.”
“That's probably because you weren't invited to the cool kid's party.”
“Or maybe I was and I just didn't bother going.” She said as she honestly didn't want to talk about this.
“Are you sure you want this guy with you?” Joey asked “I think we can make a fortune at the glue factory with him.”
“I thought you said you didn't have magic.” Blueblood glared at them.
“We don’t.” She plainly said.
“Think of the cash we can get from this guy.” Joey suggested. “It'll be fast and easy.”
“How are they going to process my magic into glue!?” Blueblood demanded.
“We don’t use magic. We use the hooves of horses… I think.” She answered as she looked at him. “And in order to do that, we need a horse that doesn’t move.”
“So… I'm getting a free Hooficure? Sweet Neighwegion deals! Paid by peasants wanting to give their prince’s hooves a nice cleansing? I'll take that offer!”
“They aren’t that. It’s kinda like taking the branches off a log, except the log is you and the branches are your hooves.” She explained in a simple way.
“... What kind of mad world am I in!?”
“A world where there’s no such thing as magic, friendship is very rare, and pretty much everyone is either poor, rude, or snobby like you.” She plainly answered. “So this is the perfect place for you!” She joked with a smile.
“I don't think friendships are that rare.” Joey commented. “Have you seen some of the Fandoms?”
“And are these ‘Fandoms’ like labor unions?” Blueblood asked.
“No, just people who are a fan of something.”
“Of something really weird. Like, have you seen those people who dress up as animals? I mean, who does that?” She asked as she remembered seeing all the not-so-innocent images online.
“My friend Steve, remember?” Joey replied with some impatience in his tone.
“Yeah. Your friend. I remember when I met him, he wouldn’t stop showing me videos of people wearing the suits in public. I mean, I’m fine with the animations, but the guys in the suits just creep me out.” She shivered at the thought of it.
“I am lost here.” Blueblood spoke.
“Sorry, it's just something my friend likes that she doesn't.” Joey apologized.
“But we need to find you a job ASAP.”
“But what kind of place will even take him with his super bad personality?” She asked.
“I'm not bad!” Blueblood retorted.
“I'm pretty sure the bar could work.” Joey suggested.
“Yeah. But we don’t have any bars nearby. Or, some that are even hiring.” She replied.
“Then why not the pub?”
“Are they hiring?” She asked.
“It can't hurt to try.”
“Ooh! I hope it's a nice pub!” Blueblood gleamed.
Melissa only rolled her eyes as she didn’t say anything. “Fine. Lead the way, I guess.”