The Only Chapter
Rainbow Dash trudged through the dust into the town of Appleloosa. It was late afternoon, and mostly everypony was packing up for the night. She'd come to this place to get away, and after what had happened last weekend....she flinched unwittingly. She just wanted to be left alone, and this place was one of the best places for that.
There was a lone bench at the top of the apple grove, half-hidden by Dash's rough fringe. Why, Dash didn't know, but at the moment she didn't care. Flopping her tired flank between its rough planks, she stared out over the silent grove.
It took her a few seconds to realize there was somepony sitting next to her.
"Aaah!" Rainbow turned toward the mysterious pony. The pony seemed woefully aware of her, but was frozen, as if waiting for Dash to forget them. Their face and mane were covered by a large hat the likes of only Rarity would wear, so Rainbow couldn't pinpoint the face. There was something familiar about the mint green complexion, and the golden tail that swished uncontrollably. "Lightning Dust?"
Beat. Beat. Rainbow Dash was worried she had been wrong, that she had embarrassed this poor pony, but she was bittersweetly rewarded as a low voice muttered, "I was hoping you wouldn't notice."
Rainbow wondered if she should put up her defenses. That was her normal response, after all. But Lightning Dust took off her hat and peered up at her, and Rainbow was forced to reconsider everything she'd ever thought about Lightning. It wasn't hard to miss the long scars stretching the length of each front leg. Compassion and pity got the better of her, and Rainbow's face broke up into a smile. "Hey! I was wondering where you've been off to. What's up?"
"Leave me alone."
"Why are you out here in Appleloosa? I mean, of all the places you could have p--"
"I said, LEAVE ME ALONE. Come on, Rainbow Dash, can't you look past your own pigheaded heroism and see when someone doesn't want to be helped?"
Rainbow Dash blinked. Sure, she'd wanted to help Lightning, and hadn't expected the friendliest response, but this had not been envisioned at all. She'd imagined Lightning Dust pouring out the whole story to her, bawling in Rainbow's arms for a few minutes, and then taking her back to show Twilight another reformed pony. However, Lightning's words sunk in, and Rainbow realized that's exactly what Lightning had meant. She didn't want to be saved.
"Lightning, last weekend I did something really bad." The green pegasus's ears perked up uncontrollably. Dash wasn't sure why she was spilling this story. She didn't even know if it should be shared. A twinge in her stomach told her to make Lightning Dust feel better, so she pretended Lightning was Scootaloo, a scared filly in the middle of the woods again. "I was at practice, with -- with the Wonderbolts. I tried to show them my new routine, convinced it would make me... the star of the show, like I wanted. Instead, I failed. They all laughed at me, called me Crash mercilessly. Deep down, I guess I knew that it was all in good fun, that they'd all failed in some way or another. But it still hurt. I got really, really mad, and I told Soarin he was no better than, well, than my dumb cripple of a sister. That was my first mistake."
Lightning Dust was staring at her hooves. Rainbow Dash swallowed. "I didn't know Scoots had come to watch me practice that day. Later, AJ told me that she had heard it all and had gone running off in tears. I was totally blind to that. Spitfire told me that that was not in proper conduct or something like that, and I told her to go shove it up-- well, you know. She said that if I kept it up, I'd be placed on probation again, and maybe get kicked off the team. Instead of backing down, I lunged at her. I probably would've been in more trouble if I'd actually managed to hit her. Instead, Fleetfoot got in the way, and I full-on bucked her in the face. She got a broken nose and a concussion, plus a sprained wing from the fall down to earth. She was probably lucky not to have gotten worse. That's what made me come to, so to speak. I tried to apologize, but you can guess that they didn't forgive that easy. It was my turn to go running off the field in tears. My friends tried to talk to me, but then I said some really, really damn rude things to them, and they left. I...I just needed to be alone, so I came here."
Lightning was silent. Then she shrugged. "So? At least you have friends that will forgive you, a job, a house, a foster sister who loves you, a family."
"Lightning, my parents and younger brother died in a carriage crash fourteen years ago."
"Scratch the family part. Look, I'm not going to turn this into a who-has-the-more-depressing-life contest. But you've had a good one, Dash. You're not going to ruin it with one lousy day. My horrible life was further ruined because I missed my one opportunity."
"Wow, rude much?" Dash asked. "I didn't want what happened to me to happen. I could have destroyed the relationships that meant the most to me."
"At least you have relationships!"
"That's like telling a little filly whose parents just got divorced that she's lucky to have parents at all!"
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU TO BUTT IN!"
"AND I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU TO JUDGE ME!"
It was lucky there was no one around. The shouting match between the two mares reverberated through the silent grove of apple trees below them, but was stopped by the rocks behind so that the sounds didn't carry into town.
"You know what?" said Lightning angrily, jumping up. "I don't have time for this. I have places to be. I have...have...a...." Lightning's face twisted up and she crumpled back onto the bench. "Dash, just go home. Just...just tell the Wonderbolts that you're sorry. Take Scootaloo out on a camping trip. Get Applejack to have another Iron Pony competition. They'll all forgive you. That's what they do."
"I was almost kicked out of the Wonderbolts forever because I was framed for trying to take Spitfire's place! I can't imagine what they'll do to me now. I'll lose my job...I won't be able to find another one, because no one will hire me after that scratch on my record." Dash shook her head. "If you're wrong, like I think you are, my reputation will be ruined."
"Your reputation? Dash, there are worse things than your reputation being ruined. There's an old mare who lives alone, in a shack, in that town." Lightning pointed angrily in the direction of Appleloosa. "She worked as a coal miner for thirty years, until one day they kicked her out because she got pregnant after being raped. That job meant everything to her. And since there weren't any doctors who would help her because she wanted an abortion, and she didn't have enough money to go to another town, she had to have her foal alone in her rotting, disgusting house. The colt died, Dash, three damned weeks after it was born. That mare had no family to go to. So she got another job as a tailor, and that's what she's still doing because she doesn't have enough money to retire! Rainbow Dash, you are ungrateful for everything you have. You make me sick."
Rainbow Dash gaped. "Fine, Lightning. I have a bad case of first world problems. But I don't know what I should do, Lightning! I've had everything handed to me on a silver platter up until now. I'm admired. I have a fan club. I'm Rainbow 'Danger' Dash. And I could lose everything, EVERYTHING I've worked hard for!"
Lightning slammed her hoof down on the bench. "Like your Element of Harmony? Yeah, don't think I don't know about that, Dash. You're not going to lose that for being a bad friend. Actually, isn't that what Twilight's little precious friendship lessons are for? You'll go back, you'll grovel, and then everything will be fixed."
"But--"
"Rainbow Dash, you are a spoiled little brat. Imagine this, if you will. A little pegasus filly is born to a prostitute in the slums of Las Pegasus. The said prostitute leaves the filly with her friend during the day while she works, and then comes back at night. Everything is supposedly fine and dandy until the filly gets to be about fifteen or so. Now she's got to find a job to support herself, after her mom got beaten to death in a back alley. Guess what? There are a bunch of places where creeps will pay to sleep with a teenager."
Rainbow didn't want to hear any more. This was a horribly twisted story, and Rainbow didn't want to question whether it was true or not. But Lightning charged on.
"This filly is working at night and trying to fly during the day. She's figured out she loves flying. Finally, one day she gets her cutie mark after sneaking out and flying out over the ocean. It empowers her to use what money she has and get a real, respectful job. After working as a barista in Vanhoover for a couple years, she makes it out to Cloudsdale. And what does she find there? Tryouts for a training program! She gets through it with financial aid, and then whadda you know? The Wonderbolts take notice of her and invite her to the Academy, joy oh joy!"
Rainbow did not like where this is going.
"The mare has made it to the Academy and covers up her scars and past with attitude and bravery. She's acheived her dream! And she might have found her first real friend! But after she pushes herself too hard, after she tests the limits, she's kicked out by this 'real' friend. Now she has to find a job, but you know what? It's really hard, because who would ever hire a Wonderbolt reject? All she has on her resume is 'Fillystyle barista'. She scrapes by by pet-sitting for a few months, with at least two FAILED suicide attempts stopped by a policecolt -- the worst part being that she can't pay for depression medication. She finally becomes a maintenance worker at Gladmane's resort in the city she's always hated, but she has promised herself she will never, EVER do what she first did again!" Lightning's eyes welled up with tears. Rainbow Dash leaned back and studied the green pegasus.
"Did that all really happen to you?"
"Yes." Lightning punched the bench. "I hate myself." She stifled a sob, and silently broke down, hiding her face from Dash.
Rainbow did not know what to say. She'd thought she'd been justified. She knew she had problems, but none so big as...this. She scooted over and pulled the other mare into a hug. Folding both her hooves and her wings around the sobbing Lightning Dust, she nestled Lightning's face into her chest and propped her chin on Lightning's forehead. For a minute, Dash just held her, watching as the sun sunk below the horizon. But the moment was short-lived, as Lightning pulled away and leaned back on the bench, taking a deep breath and staring up at the sky.
"Forget it, Dash. I'm not looking for sympathy, and I told you I didn't want this to become a who-has-the-more-depressing-life contest. I-I have a coltfriend now. He'll help me. Please, Dash, leave me here, because I don't want Twilight and the rest of you coming out to try and make me feel better, because I don't want it."
Dash looked Lightning over. Her mane and coat were relatively well-kept, and the hat she'd been wearing was only smudged with dirt -- in otherwise perfect condition, considering it was discarded on the dusty ground. This led Dash to believe that Lightning was better off than she let on, but she suspected that if she made a comment it would not be taken lightly. "Just make me one promise, Lightning."
"Maybe."
"Promise you won't try to kill yourself again."
Beat. Beat. "I'd like that, Dash, I really would. But at this point, there's no promising that."
Dash nodded. "It's okay. Can you keep in touch?"
"I'd prefer not to."
"Fine." Dash got up and started walking back into the twilit town. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw that Lightning was still sitting on the bench, dusting off her hat. Rainbow smiled weakly back in her direction, and then continued on.
When Lightning was sure Dash had gone, she slunk off the bench and after her, towards the train station.