The Only
“Hello.” I listen carefully for the echo of my words and sigh. I am left with my silence again. I sat sleepily with one ear open just again to hear the sound of the clock ticking and time continuing around me.
I am here with my thoughts if that. I am not sure if I exist or if I am just a figment of some sick ponies imagination. They can go ‘well my day was bad but at least I am not stuck behind time perpetually alone with one's thoughts the only guiding source of amusement.’
Sorry I realise there is no reason to be bitter. If I am not just made up than whoever put me here did so on their own conscious. In a strange way I almost want to know who sent me here...
I don't know how long I have been here if the ticking of the clock even exists then I wouldn't know. Moments melt together like it is just the same moment elongated.
It seems that this all is the same day repeating over and over heartlessly like a punishment beating my soul into submission.
I’m sure in a strange way that I'm not just another figment. I having nagging sensation of someone wrapping a huge wing around me.
White fur, purple eyes
World melting, waves of unconsciousness smashing into me
Love, hate
Taken over, missing, uncontrollable
Purple eyes, glimmering, shining
Bowing , fighting
Smashing into, torn away
Sad, alone,
Forgotten
Memories come and leave in flashes leaving me with a small thrill. The ecstasy of a knowing. But then the knowledge is pushed down abandoning me as I briefly fight but I can do nothing against the sands of time as they wash away anything I should think.
There is one way I can measure that I’m not dead. Not stuck in a land of spirits long ago forgotten. For briefly every so passing time. I am forgiven. I am connected to somewhere. I feel the souls of many. Sometimes the feelings are living in a feeling of happiness i can only imagine to pass through my body.
On some rare occasions I can feel only one bright aura. Filled with regret and passion, the connected only last for a few short moments before it shuts off.
Often I cry out in the pain of being torn away and abandoned again. For these moments are the only that exist that make me feel anything other that the emptiness of one left alone for so long.
Even the time when I am left alone again, feel like my heart is being ripped out my chest, I could never go on without these times existing. The ability to have times exist again mean that I am able to survive with any slither of hope or feeling.
It is true that the feeling of Sadness and Joy left long ago for Joy and Sadness need each other to be there. However the optimistic part of me still has a tiny snippet of hope that I will go back to where ever I came.
“One day”
I twitch my ears i swear for once I heard something in my unused ear drums other than the silence of my soul.
“Hello”
I call out softly but as I suspected all that comes back is the echos I am so used to.
‘Probably me finally snapping. Going crazy took me long enough.’ I give the thought of my madness a dry smirk.
‘The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one’ As soon as i think that I furrow my brows. I swear I heard that before. I shrug. Probably something I have already thought. I have had enough time to sit around and talk to myself. Long enough to be walking down the road to madness.
“Haha”
I heard a soft chuckle.
“Who is there?”
I wait for a few seconds before the apparition finally answers
“So you don't remember me…” The spirit murmurs sadly.
“It matters not who I am but what I mean. You are smart. Probably smarter than I ever gave credit for.”
I tilted my head.
“What do you mean?”
I hear a soft gentle sigh. And a small sad whimper escapes into my ears.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Wait! Don't go. I need answers. Please tell me what you mean!"
I wait for what feel like eternity. The tension squashing down into my lungs. I could hardly breath.
There was no response.
I fell back on my haunches in shock. What did this mean? I cried out in frustration and droplets of water created by my eyes dripped slowly down my face in defeat. The only thing thing that had ever communicated with me was gone leaving me alone once again.
I sat there for a while and waited with baited breath that beyond logic it was coming back to relieve me of the awful feeling of abandonment and emptiness that rested in my chest.
Tears dripped faster than ever down my face though I could not feel them. I lay down and buried my face in my hooves and sobbed.
At that moment I knew that it was my destiny to be alone forever.
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Anger,hatred
Cold empty eyes
Unforgiving
Tears
Regret
Sisterly
Motherly
Forgiven
Eyes full of love
Friendship, admiration
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Celestia sipped her tea in shaky magic. Tears slipped slowly out of her eyes. She could raise the sun. All the monsters she had face. Yet one look at that broken creature tipped her over the edge.
Just one glimpse that was all she had meant to do. She didn't mean to start talking. The creature's eyes were empty bare of all emotion. Her face after Celestia had started talking had made Celestia’s emotional wall break.
And after she left the broken soul collapsed.
Celestia didn’t mean to…
Celestia never meant to…
Celestia was shaking so badly that her tea slipped out of her magic and smashed on the ground. She looked at it numbly she just looked at it she felt paralysed.
Silver Tray came running into Celestia’s room.
“ What happened my lady? Is my assistance required?” Silver asked putting her head down respectfully.
When she did not receive an answer Silver looked up to survey the damage. When she saw the Princess’s state she ran over to her.
“Princess are you okay?” Silver asked putting her hoof in the Princess’s side.
Celestia didn’t move. She stayed in her catatonic state shaking uncontrollably.
Silver led the Princess to the bed and started stroking her hair awkwardly, trying to calm the distraught Princess down.
“Don’t worry Princess it’s only tea.”
Celestia almost let out a bitter laugh at her servants innocence. ‘If only she knew. She would know I don't deserve all the love and admiration I get.’ Celestia looked at her servant. ‘ I shouldn’t have your love.’ Celestia gulped back a cry urging its way out.
Fat tears rolled out of Celestia’s eyes. She looked at the moon. She stared at the unnatural crater and traced the familiar shape with her eyes.
‘One day Luna you will be back’ Celestia remembered the writhing sobbing shape she left behind less than an hour ago, she held back a sob.
‘Hopefully I haven't broke you forever.’
Celestia started crying like she hadn't since her parents died
‘ Luna don’t leave me. I will never do anything against you. I will be the perfect sister just please come home. Lulu Lulu Lulu. Oh what have I done. No! Please I will do anything.’
Celestia stared at the bright moon and leaned into Silver’s gentle strokes.
‘ Lulu when you come back I will hug you and never let you go.’
‘For the best sister in the world…’
‘Luna I love you.’