A hie fic in which I am sent to equestria and I go in and help out the ponies.
Basically I go in introduce high speed trains, electric, and mass farming. This is the story of how I did it and the reactions of Equestria and the surrounding lands. Also we eventually get into a war with the Griffions and we pound them into the dirt with nukes and this (or the next) is (or will be) about the ramifications afterwords
It was currently about 3:30 in the morning and I was cranky. You see I normally get up at 6:30 but today something woke me up. I originally thought it was a sound that woke me up but now I think it was a LACK of sound that woke me up. See I live next to a major highway but today it was deathly silent. So, like I normally do, I got up, looked at the clock and saw it says, 3:30 AM. I then proceeded to throw on some clothes so I could go out to my office to work on games and other stuff. Everything was normal so far except the silence, so I naturally wanted to figure out what the lack of sound was caused by.
So I quietly walked out of my room and over to the nearest window and was stunned by what I saw.
Everything was exactly the same as it is normally, except there was no one out there at all, no cars, no walking people, nothing. So I then sat down in my recliner and turned on the TV. All I got was static. I flipped through all the channels and, only one stayed on it was channel two the emergency channel. I sat there and then read the headline and it said “The Judgment day has come!” I was shell shocked. It then changed and read, “If you haven’t been visited yet and are still alive you get your choice of where to go.” I was even more shocked especially when it said, “There are currently 5 people that have not been visited yet.” Then all of a sudden I hear a knock on the door. So I walkover and answer it.
When I open the door I see a guy about mid 20-30, about 6 feet tall, and with long hair.
He walks in and asks “Is this the residence of Randomfastreader?”
I respond “Yes this is.”
“Well hello my name is Bob I am a representative of G.O.D.”
“Hello then Bob, would you like to sit down?”
“Sure this may take a while.”
“Ok may I ask what you’re here for?”
“Sure, basically you are one of the CHOSEN and you have your choice of any world/land to go to. I also have a list for you of places you may go if you like. And the best part is you can take just about anything you want with you.”
“Ok just two questions are vehicles allowed and does equestrian exist?”
“Yes and Yes.”
“Hallelujah.”
“I’m assuming this is where you want to go?”
“Absolutely, let me just go and get my stuff packed. Oh, one last question?"
“Sure.”
“When do I have to be ready?”
“Ah about a week. Until then you will be one of the last remaining people to be here, then this world goes bye, bye.”
“Ok.”
“I’ll leave you to go get packed.”
Bob proceeded to hand me a business card and to walk out. I then went to my office and fired up my windows 10 computer with 2.5 GB of ram and 1 TB. of memory. While doing this I was muttering to myself “What to bring? What to bring?” So I sat down and made a list the list is below: 1. Computer 2. Tank 3. Boat 4. House 5. Clothes 6. Sawmill 7. Gen 8. Solar panels 9. Phone 10. Internet downloaded for Twilight 11. Cowboy hats (Stetsons) for Apple jack 12. Books on animals for Fluttershy 13. Clothes for Rarity 14. Gun collection for Rainbow Dash 15. My gun collection 16. Trailer 17. Da plane 18. Other stuff 19. My sound systems 20. The house boat 21. The compound 22. My cargo container houses (all 13) 23. The tractor and combine 24. Crane 25. Dredger 26. Tons of raw materials 27. Crud tons of gold
After making the list, I then decided that after I got this stuff loaded I would go and add stuff. Now first was the house boat. Now the house boat is not a house boat it is a 4 level ferry (not including car deck) with a 1,000,000 horsepower engine, however it is a normal 6-hour drive away. But since everyone else is gone, I could go as fast as I like. So I get in the really fancy sports car my neighbor had, that can go up to 200mph. and I’m cruising down at 150mph down towards cape May. After about 2 hours I finally get there and I hop out and climb onto the ferry and fire it up. I load it up with fuel and then drive my car on I undock, and gun it to get to near my house. After about 7 hours give or take I arrive about 50mi away from my house. After arriving I then go and find a Tri-axle tractor trailer (note I love Tri-axles.) I jump in and conveniently the keys are right in the ignition and the thing starts on the first crank. I sit there for a sec saying “Ah, nothing like a turbocharged v-12 sleeper Peter built Tri-axle engine to start a trip.”
I continued “10,000 horsepower of pure American diesel power” I then revved the engine a bit and shifted into first. I pulled out of the parking lot I was in and proceeded to find a flatbed and a few trailers. I hooked up three full sized trailers in sequence with the flat bed in the rear and then went over to my house after I borrowed a tractor to lift my house onto the flatbed. After cruising for about a half an hour I arrive at my house and get packing and then proceeded to take it all to the ferry.
It was 3 days later and I had everything I’d ever want or need packed and I also had managed to download the entire internet for twilight. And I had gotten a personal server to view it on. Well frankly this is the list of stuff I had accumulated:
1. Computer 2. Tank 3. Boat 4. House 5. Clothes 6. Sawmill 7. Gen 8. Solar panels 9. Phone 10. Internet downloaded for twilight 11. Cowboy hats (Stetsons) for apple jack 12. Books on animals for Fluttershy 13. Clothes for rarity 14. Gun collection for rainbow dash 15. My gun collection 16. Trailers (14) 17. Da plane 18. Other stuff 19. My sound systems 20. The house boat/ferry 21. The compound 22. My cargo container houses (all 13) 23. The tractor and combine 24. Crane 25. Dredger 26. Tons of raw materials 27. Crud tons of gold 28. Peter built Triaxle 29. Fuel 30. Refinery 31. Computer
I then climbed aboard the boat and set sail. I did not have any intention of where to go so I yelled at the sky “OK I’M READY TO ROLL” suddenly a black aura surrounded me and the boat and I was off.
Ok I’ve arrived at Equestria so I unload the tractor trailer and load all the trailers of food and stuff up. After hooking up to all the trailers I put her in first and start pressing on the accelerator. It must have been quite the sight a red peter built with a long train of trailers strung behind it, because there were ponies lined up on both sides of the road I was on. The sad thing is I could only go 30mph because of the fact the roads were dirt and occasionally cobble. After 1 hour of driving I come across a town. I proceed to pull over. Where I met a brownish older stallion.
“Hello, my name is Randomfastreader, what is your name?” I asked politely.
“Name’s Braburn, may I ask where you are heading?” Braburn replied In a southern accent.
“I’m currently on route to Ponyville and from there Canterlot. May I ask why you’re interested?”
“I’ve been wanting to go back to Ponyville for a while and you seemed to be heading in that direction. I was wondering if I could ride?”
“Sure, however do you have any food for sale around here?”
“Yah, we sure do we have tons of things, we have apples, and apples and more apples.” He replied enthusiastically.
“Ok” I replied “Where are they?”
“Here, the market’s this way follow me.”
As I got closer to the market I saw apples. Literarily there was nothing there but apples. So I had gotten ten of them and then realized that they did not accept raw gold as currency.
“Crud, Braburn, can you pay for these?” I asked
“Sure” he replied and he paid for them and we walked back to the truck.
I then proceeded to go around back of the first trailer and climbed in it to grab some materials. I grabbed some solar panels and some steel bars and the welder. I had never thought to add a fridge and solar panels to the truck but then realized that I would run out of diesel if I kept the truck running constantly. I welded the solar panels to the roof of the truck and hooked up the fridge to a battery bank and the panels. I then Proceeded to stock the fridge with the apples and finally proceeded to find Braburn again and tell him that we would be leaving come nightfall, which was only about two hours away. I then retired to the truck to rest.
Two hours later.
I was awoken abruptly with the sound of my alarm clock going off next to the sleeper section of the Peterbuilt. I groggily got up and proceeded to find Braburn with a purple mare with a horn.
He was talking in a hushed voice, “Now Twilight you have got to be kidding me you flew all the way from Ponyville in two hours just to meet this creature?”
“Yes,” she replied her voice was high pitched but not so high as to be squeaky. I then proceeded to reply loudly enough that they could hear me while opening the cab door and walking out, “Twilight Sparkle what a great pleasure to meet you.”
She replied, “It is a pleasure to meet you too, may I ask if I can ride with you and ask questions while we travel?”
“Sure” I replied simply. we then climbed into the truck. It was a bit awkward for the two ponies to climb up into the truck until twilight just picked Braburn up with magic and placed him in and then self-levitated herself in.
“Wow” she replied, “This is a nice carriage, but how do you pull it?” she asked.
“I don’t” I replied, “But before we get going could you close the door?”
The door proceeded to shut and I started up the engine.
Twilight proceeded to yelp at the sudden noise before I said “That sound your hearing is an engine it allows us to move. Now please attach the seatbelt or you may be bouncing around.”
Twilight had taken the shotgun seat and Braburn had taken the sleeper bed. I then proceeded to rev the engine a bit and shifted into first.
“Next stop Ponyville Estimated time arrival, unknown, I then realized that I actually did not know how far Ponyville was from here so I asked “Twilight how far is Ponyville from here?”
“About 150 miles” she responded.
“Ok so we will be there by morning, actually we should be there by midnight.”
“Wow how fast will we be going?”
“About 60 or higher if the road smooths out or I activate the aux suspension. Actually I’m going to activate the aux suspension.” I proceeded to flip a switch and there was a hissing sound and then the ride got much smoother. I proceeded to shift from first to second, then to third all the way up till I was at 16th. I then realized how dark it was getting outside and flipped another switch that turned on the headlights and then another that turned on the running lights. We were steadily cruising at about 80 now when twilight asked, “So why are you going to Ponyville?”
“I actually need to go see Celestia.”
“Why?”
“Diplomatic things,” I said.
“Oh” she replied.
“Actually do you mind if I turn on some music?” I asked.
“I guess not” she replied warily.
“Ok” I replied I then proceeded to take my phone out of my pocket, plug in the aux cord into the phone from the truck, and I activated Spotify. And played this song (INSERT SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT EASTBOUND AND DOWN HERE!) We sat there listening to my playlist for a good 4 hours and it was now nearing 11:00 PM.
At this point I had the high beams on and I had the warning lights on (I had installed rotating orange beacon lights on each side of every trailer.) And I also had the fog lights on and my high powered spotlights (they allowed me to see 1/2 of a mile in front of me.) When all of a sudden a really large bear wondered in front of the path about 1/8th of a mile ahead of me. (Now realize this this tractor trailer has a STOPPING DISTANCE OF ¼ OF A MILE.) In other terms if this bear did not move we were screwed. So like a reasonably smart person I told Twilight and Braburn to cover their ears and I blew the horn. When said horn blew I had thankfully put on hearing protection otherwise I would have very shortly gone deaf. The horn was a train horn hooked up to a amplification cone (basically a traffic cone glued to the horn) this amplified the volume 5 fold but on top of all of this it was hooked up to a megaphone which increased the initial volume 50 fold. In other terms it was very loud and anything within 500 ft of it would possibly go deaf. And it could be heard ten miles away. That bear was so scared it went running really fast. But then it tripped and fell.
So I decided to stop and help it. Simply I applied the trailer brakes and about 5 minutes later we came to a complete stop. We were approximately 1/8th of a mile ahead of it so we quickly walked over there. We quickly asked if it was hurt and it responded no, so we walked back jumped in the truck and continued on our way it was now 11:30 so the predicted time of arrival was pushed back to 12:30. At 12:10 I slowed down to about 40 mph so I could stop faster if necessary. Then I realized something and I asked, Twilight would you mind if we dropped Braburn off and continued on to Canterlot?”
“Ok that’s fine with me.”
So we did exactly that we dropped Braburn off said goodbye and the proceeded on to Canterlot. We approached Canterlot at 2:00 pm. The first thing I noticed was the giant castle built into the mountain. I realized that I still had no were to park so I asked, “Twilight do you know of any good place to park this thing?”
“Well, I suppose you could park on the side of the street in front of the castle.”
“That is allowed?”
“Yah, carriages do it all the time.”
“Ok, but if I get in trouble I’m blaming you.”
“Ok.”
We continued on until we arrived at the main gates of Canterlot, they were open so I decided to turn off the high beams and the spotlights, I did leave the low beams and beacons going though. We rolled through the city until we arrived at the castle. Thank god that the front gate of the castle was massive enough so that I did not have the back end of the trailers hanging off. We hopped out and I asked twilight, “ok so should we find a room until morning or should we just go in now?”
“Well Princess Luna should be holding night court, and she said if at all possible interrupt her during night court so we should probably go in.”
At this point I hadn’t noticed the guards that stood on either side of the entrance talking amongst themselves, but they had already notified the princess that something was going on and someone was here. So naturally we got silence as we walked in. we proceeded in silence until twilight had led me to the throne room. and as if this happened every day the guards opened the doors for us, and we walked in.
We had just walked in the doors when suddenly I was surrounded by guards. They had what seemed to be 3 regiments there for me!
Suddenly a blue Alicorn walks through the guards to me and asks, “What are you? Where do you come from?”
I respond with, “I am a human and I come from Earth.”
“Ok what are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to a leader here about somethings I need to acquire.”
“Ok start talking.”
“If you don’t mind I’m not hostile.”
“Sorry, It’s just things normally are quiet at night so we assumed.”
“It’s ok.” The guards left and she lead me to a room behind the thrones. We then entered and we sat down. The room was really plain.
“Ok so what were you here about?” she asked
“Ok, I have quite a few requests” I responded
“Ok what are they?”
I proceeded to pull out my list. Now my list is really long it is about a foot long.
“Ok first is diplomatic immunity.”
“No”
“Ok then let me explain it is only for the duration if this list so that I’m not arrested for anything that I say.”
“Ok”
“Second where is the cheapest land around here?”
“The badlands why?”
“If you don’t mind I would like to buy the badlands than.”
“You do realize it is about 1million bits right?”
“How much is that in gold, or platinum?”
“About 6 tons of platinum. why?”
“You’ll see shortly. Ok next where are the badlands?”
“They are directly south of Equestria, it is a desert.”
“Perfect, now all I need is permission to build a rail line to every major city in Equestria and to most minor towns.”
“There is already rail lines running between every city and town in Equestria. Why do you want another?”
“Freight and high speed”
“Who will fund it?”
“Me”
“How?”
“You will see shortly”
“Ok”
“Next, how large are the badlands?”
“They take up 300,000,000 acres”
“Perfect, can I have a map of the Badlands and Equestria?”
“Sure”
“This going really well, ok now I need you to come outside with me.”
“What for?”
“I need to show you something.”
We then proceeded to walk outside to where my truck was parked. When we got there Luna asked, “What is this?”
“This is a truck”
“Wow it the size of one of our trains”
“Wow then your trains our very small, the ones I’ll be running for freight are 1-5 miles long”
“Those are some long trains”
“Yes they are we will be able to transport some 3,000,000-30,000,000 tons of material at a time”
“What will they be transporting?”
“Grain, food, raw materials. Oh and do you mind if I run my land like It’s, Its own country?”
“No why”
“You’ll see why later, but now to show you how I’m going to pay for this”
“Ok, you have me interested”
“Good now is there any way I could park something inside the castle walls?”
“Yes there is a rear entrance for carriages.”
“How big is it?”
“About 50’ x 100’”
“Perfect meet me there in 20 minutes”
“Ok”
I then proceeded to go down the line of trailers until I reached the one with the gold in it and the one with platinum in it. I unhooked the trailer behind the platinum and walked back to the truck, pulled forwards unhooked the trailer in front of the gold trailer (the order was gold the platinum) and pulled the truck forwards some more and unhooked the trailer behind the truck and hooked up to the gold trailer. I then drove around to the back of the castle. And I unhooked the platinum trailer and back the gold into the clearing and then the platinum. This took me 15 minutes. After these 15 minutes I went to the gate that I had come through to get here and closed it.
After all this was done Luna walked up.
She then asked, “ok why did you want to come back here?”
“Because those trailers people would kill for.”
“Dang, what’s in those?”
“I’m going to show you. Also If this is not enough I may need a loan.”
“Ok”
I walked around to the back of the trailer and got ready to open the door and I asked, “How much is platinum and gold worth in this country?”
“Raw or refined?”
“Refined”
“1000 bits an ounce for gold, and 10,000 bits and ounce for platinum”
I then opened the trailers. And her jaw dropped
“How did you get all of this?”
“I was the last of 5 people on my world and this is about what I could find before I left.”
“So you stole it”
“No the people who owned it were dead and I was the last one on the continent”
“Wow this will pay for the land but not the rail lines”
“No problem those I will pay for from the land”
“Are you saying you’re going to farm the badlands?”
“Yes I am, and yes I will”
“The badlands are completely infertile”
“I will fix that, actually how far are the badlands from a major source of water”
“About 300 miles”
“Perfect, I can build a pipe”
“Ok so you have the badlands what else do you want or need?”
“I need a contract with Equestria to export things to you”
“Done”
“Then that is all except for 2 things, I need to break off my land from your land”
“Why?”
“Because I need my own laws and so I can deal with my own problems. On top of the fact that the tax on 30,000,000 tons of produce is really, really high.”
“True, so done then”
“Ok, then the only other thing I need is for enough funding to purchase the raw materials to build a rail line between here and Canterlot”
“Wait actually you have enough to do the raw materials for all of your rail lines but not enough for labor”
“Oh well all I need is raw materials; labor will be my problem. Actually that is why I need to separate my land from this country. I need to make deals to other countries and sources for labor”
“Ok”
After that I went to the library because apparently twilight had broken off from me at some point. Naturally I found her reading a book.
“Twi” I called out
“Yes”
“You ready to go?”
“I guess” she replied, “did you get what you needed?”
“Yep, I now own my own country that consist of the badlands”
“Wow”
“Yah, now if you don’t mind I’ll be in the truck waiting”
