No Mind

by peacevic

First published

Twilight wants to learn about Zen. This might be more difficult than she imagined.

As if she didn't have enough on her scholarly plate, Twilight gets the idea to seek out a master of Zen so she can write a paper on the discipline. It... doesn't turn out the way she would've liked.

Author's Note: I've had this idea percolating in the back of my mind for some time. I was planing to do a whole series, but quite frankly I've already got too much on my plate. Therefore, I'm just going to post what I've already written as a one-shot. Maybe I'll come back to it later.

Fall Down 7 Times, Get Up 8

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Fall Down 7 Times, Get Up 8

"Twilight! Hey, Twilight!"

"I'm in here, Spike," Twilight Sparkle called back at her number one assistant, scribbling a few notes down as she did so. This paper on the scientific processes of the Reneighsance wasn't going to write itself.

A few moments later the little dragon waddled through the entrance to her study, wheezing and clutching a familiarly-bound scroll in his talons. She made a mental note to give him another lecture about the importance of proper breathing during physical activity, as the last one didn't seem to have stuck. "Is that Princess Celestia's response to the letter I asked you to send?"

"Yeah, I think so." He held it out for her to take, which she did. "Unless she suddenly had something else to tell you... Like some new freaky monster attacking Equestria."

"That doesn't happen every day." Twilight scolded. She scanned the letter with a blazing speed few ponies could match. "Yes! This is it, Spike. Help me pack for a trip."

"Where are we going?"

She popped out of her chair and starting pulling together the various books, inkwells, quills, and sheets of parchment she was going to need to really make this report shine, never pausing as she replied, "Sorry, Spike, but you're going to have to stay in Ponyville. Somepony needs to mind the castle, and besides this is something I'd rather do by myself. You'd just be bored during the interview, anyway."

"Okay, sure. So where are you going?" Twilight levitated the scroll over so he could grab it and read. "What's Zen?"

"It's an Eastern philosophy, and it's very rare in Equestria these days. Actually, it's always been rare here. It was never very popular."

Spike sighed. "Let me guess, you want to interview a pony who practices it so you can write some kind of paper on it."

"Yep."

"But wait, aren't you already doing a paper on the Reneighsance?" Spike asked as he was forced to constantly pivot on his heels due to Twilight constantly trotting back and forth. "And one on Zebracan woodcarving techniques?"

"Folk woodcarving, not the modern stuff. And I can do this, too!" Twilight insisted.

The dragon looked back down at the scroll in his claws. "But what if this... Grandpa doesn't want to talk?"

"Oh, Spike..." Twilight gave him a pat on the head. "You're being silly. Why wouldn't he?"

"Go away."

"Excuse me?" Twilight blinked in surprise.

The wrinkled old pegasus didn't even look up from the tiny vegetable patch he was weeding, which barely seemed capable of producing enough crops to warrant the effort. "I said 'go away'. Depart. Leave. Scram."

"I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way," Twilight assured. "I just wondered if you would-"

"I heard what you said, Princess, I'm not deaf. Go back to your castle."

"I told you," Spike quipped as he saw Twilight trudging through the atrium. He didn't even need to ask how the meeting went, as the sullen look on her face told the story clearly.

"This is only the beginning!" Twilight defiantly declared. "I'm going back there tomorrow!"

"No."

Then the door slammed shut in Twilight's face.

The Princess simply teleported back to her bedroom, chose a suitable pillow, and screamed as loud as she could into it. Unbeknownst to Twilight, Fluttershy- who'd just been about to knock on the front door- heard her screaming and wisely decided to call on her friend some other time.

On the third day Twilight landed in front of Grandpa's cottage and unexpectedly found the door wide open. Cautiously, she peeked in and saw the pegasus in the kitchen sipping a cup of tea. The kettle and a second cup, already poured, sat on the table.

"Come in, Twilight Sparkle. The tea is especially fine today."

"Was- was all this just a test?" she asked, as she hesitantly took the seat he was offering.

"It takes determination to become a master of Zen," he said with a knowing grin. "As well as a level of stubbornness. You seem to possess both."

"A master? No no no, I just wanted to ask you a few questions about the belief."

Grandpa slammed his cup down, causing Twilight to flinch. "To truly learn about Zen is to master it, and I will not waste my time unless you are willing to learn!"

"O-Okay, I'll try," Twilight squeaked, recovering slightly.

"Good, now go home. Return again in one week and we will begin your lessons."

A short time after one princess departed, another landed at the small cottage. Its owner, the withered and enigmatic pony known only as Grandpa, was busy trimming a small bush and paid no heed to his new guest.

"I'm not sure if I should be thanking you for agreeing to teach my former student, or demanding that you apologize."

"Either and both, Celestia," Grandpa replied, not looking up.

The Princess of the Sun smiled at the curmudgeon. She was well used to his brusqueness. "Will you at least go easy on her? She's quite dear to me."

"I cannot." Grandpa set down his trimmers and stretched his back, which was stiff and sore from being hunched over for too long. "I can already tell she is going to have a hard time of it. Even more so than you did."