Regrets

by Valorousspectre

First published

Last words, Kinda sad, STARSWIRL

The final words of the famous 'Starswirl the Bearded'. Scholar behind some of the most important breakthroughs in magical theory and practice in Equestria. On his last legs he writes what comes, no longer denying what he really thought, and not holding back.

Short, I wrote it in a vent but it turned out okay. It was only a few hundred words, but I hope you guys like it.

To Whom it may Concern.

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In all the time that our kind have existed, Never has my perceptions of the magical energies we manipulate from beyond the mortal plane been so unclear to me, so far away, so difficult to reach... so unreliable.

Suffice it to say, I’ve never had this much trouble simply writing before.

The quill within the confines of my telekinetic fields seems to fight against me, wrestling to escape my grasp. It's getting more and more difficult to breathe as time goes by. In the winter months it's the most difficult.

I am an old unicorn now. I have lived well past the natural lifespan of my peers and as a result have learned far more than any regular unicorn ever could. So much knowledge... so much to occupy my mind. Almost too much, I’m sure of it. All the facts I’ve learned and all the theories I’ve devised press heavily upon my mind, spirit and soul. And so I write this account in my tower in Canterlot, alone and in peace. It has been a long time coming, and finally I may embrace death as the oldest of friends.

Yes, That’s right dear reader, I am dying. My life is ending and so my legacy. Clover, should you be reading this, Know that I am deeply sorry for the way I have treated you over our many years. Know that, though you were not my only apprentice, you were not only my best, but my favourite. With this in mind my dear, I hereby leave you my research, my notes and my laboratory encompassing the entirety of my tower. Should either of the princesses disagree, remind them who legally owns the tower and equipment. Clever little Clover, I have decided you are the only one I can entrust all of knowledge and research to and I thank you wholeheartedly for all your years of service. Lastly I leave you this advice. Do not make the same mistake I did. Do not shun social interaction, for it is much more healthy than keeping in a musty tower laboratory. A life without love is no life at all.

To my radiant Princess Celestia, Monarch of the sun and day. I thank you for providing me with a chance to do my studies almost four centuries ago and beg of you, as a last request from an old stallion, to talk to your sister. It wasn’t that long ago that she began visiting me in my tower and some of her words disturbed me greatly. Please... don’t leave her to stew on it alone.

To my Shining night queen, Princess Luna. I wish we had started talking earlier. It has been my greatest honour and most esteemed pleasure to have spent time with you, little as it was. For what it’s worth, I will miss out late night visits, the feeling of feathers along my back when I’m too frustrated for words and the caring hugs whenever my sorrows overtook me. Had I said this aloud, you’d have likely scolded me but now that you can’t... I will miss you more than anything else.
I have my share of regrets. There are so many... Friendless, I spent my days alone in a tower with naught by my research and occasional apprentice to keep me company, I shunned contact, I extended my lifespan by centuries... I watched for the first century as everything I loved withered before my eyes as I did not, not that there was much. Everything changed around me...

Three hundred and forty-seven years is much too long for a unicorn to live.

Whilst everything around me wilted, grew or changed, I was locked away in my tower, never looking out at the world. First in the castle of unicorns in the old ages, now in Canterlot. I have lived through so much... Earth quakes, Tornadoes, Hurricanes, The ice ages of the darker times we used to reside in to the first invasion of Discord, lord of chaos. Yes... I have seen so much and lived for so long, but my life never changed and that... That is one of the worst regrets I had.

The only other one worse I can think of is never telling you that I love you Luna.

Yours Sincerely;

Starswirl

~*~

The old unicorn let his magic die, the quill dropping into the inkwell, and rolled up the parchment with a thought. A heavy thought, labored with the memories of times never had, good times turned down and good friends he never had.

Ah, but to be young again...

He was tired. So terribly tired of his long life. And yet he still wished he had more time.

More time... To set things right.

"So many regrets... so little time."

He looked forlornly at a picture sitting at his bedside. His favorite student had given it to him many a year ago, but he'd only just now put it up. A picture of Clover the Clever, waving at the camera with 'Wish you were here~' printed across it in flowing writing.

The one time I let her out for vacation and she visited another part of the city instead.

He sighed heavily.

"Starswirl you old fool..."

He could feel his legs weakening as he stumbled over to his bed and fell upon it, sighing at it's familiar feel.

"I'm sorry Clover... Celestia... Luna..."

His breathing was laboured as he pulled the covers over himself. Tonight heralded no visits from Luna. She had told him that she was busy that night, and he understood. Not all of us have merely earthly duties.

"Good...bye.."

The centuries old stallion fell asleep for the last time of his life, his breathing slowing down with his heartbeat.

At 11:59pm in the middle of winter, Starswirl The Bearded drew his final breath of the Mortal Realms.


Okay, I actually had to add words for this thing to accept this little vent story thingy. I apologise if it seems out of place, I'm not in the same mood I was when I wrote this a month or two ago. Sorry.

On a lighter note, I do hope you find it enjoyable enough not to crucify me. My first ever tale without any of my characters. It was an... interesting... thing to write. I've written a lot, but this certainly felt different.

Chillax and keep reading!
~Valorousspectre~