Happy Easter, Yeah Right

by Darkwing Dust

First published

EQG. One-shot for Easter. A what-if alternate from my other fic "A Journey Beyond Sanity." Can even someone like Stardust find joy this holiday on a world filled with nothing but overused sterotypes and cliches? Perhaps Twilight can help there.

EQG. One-shot. Alternative scenario from my "A Journey Beyond Sanity" fic; had Stardust had wound up in the human version than Equestria.

Easter. A holiday which brings joy and celebrates the meaning of hope. Can one human from our dimension, who despises the realm of the movies he's trapped within to the core, find some form of happiness even on this particular day? Perhaps he'll find his situation more tolerable with the assistance of a certain intelligent student.

Happy Easter... Yeah Right

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"Stardust, this is so sweet of you." Sunset said for the umpteenth time, admiring her gift along with the others appreciatively. Honestly, these girls were just exaggerating.

"They're just chocolate eggs for Easter." I rolled my eyes, huffing. Within the school library, I found these teenagers, what else, studying for some test, easier for me to hand them these things.

"But coming from you, darling, it is most thoughtful." Rarity replied, beaming at me. "And here I thought you'd be too grumpy to celebrate such a tradition, much less hand us these gifts, which we appreciate immensely."

"Well, enjoy it while it lasts..."

"Thank ye kindly, Star." Applejack said, as the girls are smiled happily at me for the gifts. "We're lucky to have a friend like you."

A friend who criticizes their own existence and this Godforsaken world? A friend who nitpicks over all the stereotypes and cliches this damn school had to offer? A friend who inward desires painful demises to almost everyone in this world? That kind of friend?

"Where's Twilight?" I asked instead, noticing the absence of the glasses-adorning girl, glancing around. "I thought she'd be studying with you all."

"She finished earlier." The bacon-haired Sunset responded, with a small knowing smile.

Ignoring it, I shrugged, placing the gift meant for Twilight back in my bag and repressing the annoyance in me for missing the teen. "Well, so long as Sentry does something right for once and gives her something for this holiday..." Although the thought of that blue-haired [BEEP] trying to woo Twilight with anything made me feel justifiably unpleasant.

"You'd be surprised." My eyes cast to Rainbow Dash, who was smirking. "Twilight hasn't been given anything today, not that we know of."

Of all the-!

Slamming my palm on the table, I abruptly stood up, yet the girls hardly looked surprised. "That idiot." I hissed, "Right, where did Twilight go? I'll give her her Easter Egg before setting Sentry's hair on fire."

"Haven't you done enough damage when you enveloped his car in flames last week?" Sunset pointed out, sounding both amused and exasperated.

"That was an accident." I replied earnestly... Before adding, "Which I don't regret." They rolled their eyes humouredly while I smirked. Good times.

"You're lucky he wasn't in the car at the time?"

"You mean he was lucky, right?"

"Stardust...?"

"What?"

"Can't you cast aside your dislike for Flash just for today?"

"I can make no exception for-"

"'The most obvious and detestable stereotype in the entire multiverse.' Yes Stardust, you've said that a million times."

"And I'll say it a billion more."

"I think she went to class early to hand in her assignment." Rarity then said, referring to the absent intelligent Twilight, "Do try to refrain yourself this time around; I don't believe Twilight would appreciate you threatening Flash for Easter."

"No promises."

"Of course." Applejack muttered while I proceeded towards the staircase, down to the first floor of the large library.

"Happy Easter Stardust!" Pinkie Pie called out happily while I departed, prompting me to reply over my shoulder.

"You too." I called back, sending an apologetic glance to the annoyed librarian.

Honestly, why did I end up here, and not Equestria? It's as if God hated me and wanted me to suffer for my existence, by banishing me to the worse universe in existence! Not even Easter can make me enjoy this awful plane of existence even further...

At least Twilight made my insufferable torturous stay here more tolerable...

"Oh! Stardust!"

Speak of the angel!

Despite my unending contempt for this world and many of its inhabitant, I still managed to smile at the sight of the girl approaching me. The teenager returned the gesture, though her grin looked quite awkward.

"Are the girls still in there?" She gestured to the doorway into the library.

"Happy Easter too, love." I retorted playfully, inciting her to flush slightly. I chuckled, "Heh, yeah they're still studying in there, while enjoying their gifts. Speaking of which..."

"'Gifts?'" Twilight repeated curiously, as I began pulling out the wrapped chocolate egg.

"And ta-da!" She blinked in surprise at the offered egg.

"For me...?" Twilight asked quietly, eyes staying on the gift before glancing up rather hesitantly. "I couldn't possibly-"

"Happy Easter, Twilight." I interjected humouredly, and she slowly accepted the gift, regarding it with interest and embarrassment, a red hue emerging on her features. "If Sentry's useless in getting you something for the holiday, then I won't be as incompetent."

Ignoring the jab to her friend, Twilight protested lightly, "You didn't have to-"

"But I did, now enjoy it." That said, I walked by, sending a reassuring smile to her. "Now if you'll excuse, there's a blue-haired [BEEP] who needs to be yelled at."

It only took two steps before something pulled back my arm, and my entire body froze at the light peck on my cheek. Twilight then stepped away from doing so, her face much more redder with a light smile, cradling the wrapped gift to her chest, mumbling "Happy Easter, Stardust..." Before promptly practically running into the library.

...Huh. My fingers brushed over the cheek, my overjoyed mind and heart desperately trying to function again, before a bright smile broke from my mouth.

Maybe, just for today, I can enjoy this holiday too.